Cut to the Chaste

5 Easy Ways to Make Solo Chastity More Fun

By Chaste on Sunday, January 2, 2022

Is there any point to wearing a chastity device if you don’t have someone to hold your keys? What’s a single guy to do? Maybe these 5 easy ways to make solo chastity more fun can help.

Ideally, if you’re interested in experiencing male chastity, you have a partner or someone else to act as your keyholder. But that’s not an option for many of us who are single. As a result, solo or self chastity is the default option.

Is Solo Chastity Even Chastity?

Many guys have told me they saw no point in solo chastity since it made no sense to be both the jailer and the prisoner. One guy said self-locking isn’t even chastity because it lacks the basic foundation of chastity, a power transfer from the male to his keyholder. I beg to differ. Sure, the power transfer is an integral part when a partner locks you. But the dynamics involved between chastity with a keyholder and self-locking are only different. Solo chastity is still chastity because it meets the term’s basic definition, which is simply the state or practice of refraining from sexual gratification. With a chastity device and a little willpower, any guy can do meaningful male chastity, even without a partner to hold the keys.

As someone with considerable experience with self-locking, I know it isn’t easy. When you are your own keyholder, the temptation to unlock yourself is always high. But you can turn the self-locking experience into a fun mental game against yourself that will still be meaningful and fun. You can also have much of the same experiences by self-locking and reap many of the same benefits as guys fortunate enough to have someone else to hold their keys.

Here I’m sharing five easy ways to make solo chastity more fun and meaningful.

#1 Give Away the Key

Even if you don’t have an intimate partner, if you think about who you know, there might be a friend or even an ex-partner that wouldn’t even hesitate to help you out by holding your key. No, it wouldn’t be the same as having an intimate partner acting as your keyholder since people like that wouldn’t likely agree to provide you with sexual teasing. But at least you would experience physical separation from the key and the power exchange, which would certainly raise the bar.

Absent a friend or ex-partner to ask for help, you could even ask a co-worker, neighbor, or other acquaintance to hold the key for you. You probably wouldn’t tell them what the key is for, but only that you needed someone to hold onto it for a while. Male chastity is becoming more mainstream, so the keys for chastity devices are somewhat recognizable. Instead of giving such a person the actual key to your chastity device, if you have a safe deposit box or post office box, you ask them to hold that key after putting your chastity device lock key inside.

If you follow this tip, just make sure you keep a key for emergencies and for when you need to remove the device for regular cleaning. Before I built up enough willpower that I trusted myself with possession of an emergency key, I used to freeze it inside a block of ice that I kept in the freezer. Then, ordinarily, when it was time for a cleaning, I’d give the ice time to thaw and retrieve the key. But in an emergency, I could have always used a hammer to access the key immediately.

#2 Engage a Professional Keyholder

Here is an option I’ve used, and I think it is the next best thing to having an intimate partner as a keyholder. Most professional dominant women who offer keyholding services also provide some form of sexual teasing as part of the deal or at least offer the option for an additional cost. Yes, you do have to pay them because that’s how they earn a living. Some professional Dommes and Dominatrices are quite pricey. But I’ve found professional women who offer professional keyholding at prices well within my budget. I’ve only engaged pro keyholders online, but if you live in a large city, you can probably find professionals with whom you can schedule face-to-face sessions for locking, unlocking, and teasing.

I have seen women on social media sites like Twitter offering professional keyholding services. But I wouldn’t recommend looking for one there if social media is their only online presence. A professional Domme or Dominatrix should at least have a professional website that spells out her requirements and fees for keyholding. Otherwise, you don’t know what you might be getting yourself into.

A question I often get is where to find a woman willing to do keyholding for free or at least on the cheap. Believe me that isn’t reality. Maybe there are sadistic women out there willing to hold the keys of some guy they don’t even know for the sheer enjoyment of locking his penis and subjecting him to merciless teasing. Anything is possible. But I’ve never met such a woman and even if I did, I don’t think I’d entrust the key to my chastity device to one just to save a few bucks.

Many professional keyholders don’t advertise because of variances in the laws depending upon where one lives and can even be difficult to find with internet searches. Weirdly enough, most of the professionals I’m aware of live abroad. I’ve found a few pricey ones in the US, but the vast majority I know about live in other countries. So unless you live in one of those countries, you’re limited to online interaction. But that’s worked for me. Not long ago, I learned that House of Denial, a UK-based chastity device retailer, now offers a keyholding referral service with professionals they have vetted. You can peruse their list of over a dozen professionals by visiting https://www.houseofdenial.com/pages/keyholding-services.

#3 Start With Modest Goals

If you’re new to wearing a chastity device, don’t try to do too much too soon. Most guys I know that tried self-locking and quickly gave it up tried to go from zero to sixty right off the jump. Then, when their penises got sore, they decided wearing chastity devices wasn’t for them. So, when trying to wear one for the first time, take it easy.

When I started, I had a pro keyholder who knows her stuff, and she forced me to go slowly. I started by wearing the cage for a half-day, then a full day, then overnight. I progressed to 72 hours and then to a full week, a month, and finally three full months. As a result, I never experienced anything beyond minor discomfort and easily acclimated to wearing the device. After my first three months under the supervision of the pro, I felt confident enough to try self-locking, and I’ve since remained locked for six months and recently a full year (and counting). If you follow my advice and take it slow, you will set yourself up for success instead of almost certain failure. And you will reap many of the benefits of chastity even without a keyholder.

#4 Find a Diversion

After a few days locked, rather than distracting you from horny thoughts, the device draws attention to them. That’s going to make the temptation to unlock and take care of business more unbearable. You can counter that by finding a diversion. What worked for me (and still does) was starting a new exercise regimen. I started walking first since I had let myself go for years and wasn’t fit, then stepped up to running. I’ve progressed to running six days a week during my past year locked and have shed over fifty pounds. I feel ten years younger and have the energy to burn now. Exercise keeps me from thinking about unlocking and looking for sex or returning to my past masturbation habits.

#5 Use a Timer Padlock or Timer Locked Container

These days, plenty of technology exists to aid your self-lock efforts. There are both timer padlocks and timer locked containers that will keep the keys to your device securely locked for the time you set (up to 999 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds). The locks and containers won’t open until the time you set expires. Both are available on Amazon and from other retailers. Containers are available for under $40. Most are large enough to accommodate a cell phone since they are designed for people looking to curb their dependence on smartphones, cigarettes, etc. The padlocks, which sell for around $30, are too large to lock a chastity device and likely not waterproof. But they can be used to lock a container holding your chastity device keys. A simple hack is to use an empty plastic soda or water bottle as a container. With the lid screwed on, simply drill a hole through the lid from one side to the other large enough to accommodate the lock’s cable hasp. Then unscrew the lid, drop your keys inside the bottle, replace the lid, and install the lock.

There is No One Right Way to Do Male Chastity

Never let some know it all tell you that self-locking is not real chastity. It is a viable option for those who want the experience and benefits of male chastity but who don’t have an intimate partner for a keyholder and aren’t necessarily even looking to get into a relationship. For me, I’d have to have some very good reasons for wanting another relationship beyond wanting a built-in keyholder. And solo chastity can provide many of the same benefits experienced by guys who have a keyholder. For example, without the distraction of masturbation and porn, I’m far more productive than before I embraced male chastity. Wearing a chastity device can also lead to developing an increase in self-control, willpower, and determination, qualities that transcend the realm of chastity devices and positively affect an individual’s daily life in other important areas. And, guys who self lock, enjoy stronger more enjoyable orgasms when they do eventually give themselves sexual release after enduring a period of denial. Hopefully, you will find these 5 easy ways to make solo chastity more fun useful in the practice of solo male chastity.

male chastity

Another Reason for Male Chastity Ladies

By Chaste on Saturday, January 1, 2022

A new study revealed that many women feel men are selfish when it comes to sex.

A new study revealed that many women feel men are selfish when it comes to sex, that their partners do not care about their sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Data showing two out of three women don’t climax every time they have sex seems to support this. But an overwhelming majority of men participating in the study claimed that ensuring an orgasm for their partners was a priority for them, and the claim that men are selfish when it comes to sex might only be a myth. So, what’s the truth? Are men selfish in bed, or do most guys prioritize making sure their partners get equal pleasure?

A look beneath the surface

A look beneath the surface might suggest that women are correct. Even guys who insist it is always important that their partner gets equal pleasure during sex may not be as selfless as they appear in deciding priorities. Many men I’ve known (including me) follow the practice of making sure their partners had an orgasm first before they climaxed. That proves we men are thoughtful and mindful of our partners getting equal pleasure, right? I once believed that was true until I took the time to unpack it.

I discovered that I (and probably true of most other guys with the same view) was more concerned about what my partner’s orgasms meant for me than them. When I asked myself who her orgasm was really pleasing, I had to admit it was me. I viewed her orgasm as a benchmark for success, an affirmation that I was great in the sack, almost like a trophy for success. And, on the odd occasion when I had sex with a woman, and she didn’t orgasm, I found it deflating.

While I like to believe I did care about the pleasure and satisfaction my partners received on some level, on reflection, I must accept I was more selfish than selfless when it came to sex. Giving a woman an orgasm made me feel properly masculine and gave me an ego boost, which proves that focusing on giving a partner an orgasm wasn’t all that selfless.

Women are at a disadvantage

I’m sharing this today because it is yet another reason I’m astonished that all women don’t lock their partners in chastity devices. After all, that would eliminate the problem of men behaving selfishly regarding sex. Sure, I understand most vanilla women, even open-minded ones, recoil in disgust when looking at the image of a locked cock and reject the very idea of male chastity. While male chastity is more mainstream than ever, I understand many people still view the use of cock cages as a perverted fetish. But suppose more women only knew how many relationship problems chastity devices would solve for them. In that case, I think most would insist on caging the penises of their partners with the same giddy exuberance with which so many women embraced kinkier sexual practices after reading 50 Shades of Grey or seeing the film based on the book.

Evolution, by default, causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design, our real-world sexual choices tend to reflect biological imperatives that have programmed men and women to approach sex very differently for millions of years. Pregnancy is always possible for women, which is a difficult, costly process, and raising children even more so, meaning they must take sex seriously. By and large, biology conditions women to avoid casual sex and to connect sex with love.

On the other hand, men have no such restraint on their libidos. Their approach to sex tends to reflect the biological imperative to spread their genes as widely as possible at no cost to themselves. Yes, men will settle down with a fertile woman whose fidelity is assured of having legitimate offspring. But many will still sleep around as much as they can, especially with women who possess the key “fertility cues” of youth and physical beauty. These biological truths explain why so many partnered men can’t keep it in thir pants when oppotunities arise and the male attraction to porn and masturbation.

For all its complexity, human sexual desire results from something quite simple—our struggle to survive as a species. Lust, infatuation, and even love are only adaptive techniques humans have developed over our species’ long history to maximize our genes’ chances for survival. The sooner we all come to terms with that, the sooner men won’t have to persuade or beg the women in their lives to lock them in chastity devices. Instead, it will be the women demanding it.

Ringing in the New Year

I finished 2021 wearing the Holy Trainer Nano V4 for a change of pace after wearing the Holy Trainer Nub V4 since December 1. I’d forgotten how much I liked this device. And as much as I love micro chastity devices, it felt good to let things stretch out a little. Sure, I prefer steel, but when you’re in the mood for plastic, Holy Trainer makes some darn great cock cages.

After ringing in 2022 with a traditional champagne toast, I switched from the Nano to my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress since I haven’t worn it for a while.

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Simple Goals For your Best Male Chastity Life

By Chaste on Friday, December 31, 2021

The important thing to remember as you reflect on your chastity experiences last year, and look forward to what you want to accomplish in 2022, is there is no one "right way" to practice chastity.

New Year’s Day often gets a lot of flack for being a largely arbitrary time to set new goals and resolutions for yourself. But what I like about the beginning of a new year is its reminder to approach life with an attitude of intention.

It's a great time to reflect on your goals

As 2021 comes to a close, it’s a great time to reflect on your goals, lessons learned, and what’s most important to you. It’s also a great time to start planning for 2022. Of course, this can apply to male chastity just as well as to anything else.

Maybe you’ve thought about getting your first male chastity device for a while now but haven’t. You’re curious and think you want to explore wearing one, but you’ve never pulled the trigger. Or, maybe you bought an off-the-shelf device this year and tried it, but you haven’t been able to wear it for more than a day or two without taking it off. Usually, that happens because the device you chose doesn’t fit well. Or, perhaps you’re eager for your partner to lock you, but you haven’t found a way to start the conversation with them.

Ask yourself a couple of questions

Start by asking yourself a couple of questions.

What do I envision the chastity life looking like for me in 2022?
What small shift in mindset, habit, or action can I take to achieve this vision in the new year?

These are great questions to ask yourself on this last day of December, and a new chapter in your chaste lifestyle begins. The point isn’t to put pressure on yourself to achieve but rather to embrace radical joy in your chastity.

Because if you’re not enjoying chastity, then what’s the point? Right?

Maybe 2021 was a great year for you, and you feel like you’re on a roll. Or maybe it was a really hard year, and you feel stuck and uninspired.

Wherever you are with male chastity right now, it’s never too late to set (or reset) your goals and create a plan to make the rest of your chaste life the best of your chaste life.

A simple goal-setting process

Here’s a simple goal-setting process that might help:

Write down what you want

Do you want to spend more time locked this year? Finally approach your partner about caging your cock? Find and purchase that chastity device that fits you perfectly?

Imagine that you could have anything you wanted, and you just have to pick what you want off a menu.

Write Down Your Next Steps

Once you’ve figured out what you want, write down what your next step could be to move toward that goal.

If you’re looking at choosing a better fitting, more comfortable device this year, maybe your next step is to get more accurate measurements. In my experience, knowing your measurements and finding a device that fits them as close as possible when you’re completely soft is the best starting point. Then, measure a few times during the day to get more accurate measurements that allow for body changes at different times of the day.

Keep it short and simple so your next step is something you know you can accomplish today or tomorrow in your spare time.

Once you’ve written down that first step, brainstorm and write down the next step and the step after that. The key to accomplishing big things is getting started and keeping going, so don’t over complicate it.

Take Action

Now that you know what you want and have your next steps planned out, it’s time to get started.

Look at your list and pick one thing you can accomplish today.

If you follow this process every day or every week, you’ll be amazed how much progress you can make this year—one step at a time.

Remember what's most important

The important thing to remember as you reflect on your chastity experiences last year, and look forward to what you want to accomplish in 2022, is there is no one “right way” to practice chastity. Some guys will want to work up to a full-time 24×7 scenario and stay locked for weeks or even months at a time, rarely being “allowed” to have an orgasm. A few hours of denial a week is more than sufficient for others. It’s important to understand your individual motivation and goals for being locked rather than setting goals for some arbitrary length of time to stay locked. Figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Keeping a small journal of your successes and failures can help greatly. That was one of the reasons I created this blog.

I’ve had some successes and a few failures this past year in my practice of chastity and what I hoped to achieve with this blog. But I’m starting 2022 with new goals and am excited to see how the new year unfolds. While I intend to practice full-time chastity again this year, which means wearing my chastity device every day, I plan to change up the way I practice chastity to keep things fresh, exciting, and fun. I also have my eye on getting a new custom-fitted device this year that I plan to order before the end of January. I’ll reveal more on both of those things during the coming days.

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Reflecting on My First Full Year of Full Time Chastity

By Chaste on Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Rather than feeling sexually repressed, a full year of full-time male chastity has given me a new kind of freedom.

December 31, 2021, marks the date of my first full year in full-time chastity. Technically, it will have been thirteen months or 396 days since I’ve worn a chastity device continuously since December 1, 2020. So, I actually passed the one-year mark on November 30 of this year. Today, I’m reflecting the effects on my first full year of full-time chastity.

How I Got Here

I experimented with wearing a male chastity device, mostly out of curiosity after reading about the experiences of other men. Single and right out of a relationship, I lived alone and worked from home. So I thought, why not order a chastity device and see what it was like to wear one? And there were other reasons beyond curiosity that motivated me to try male chastity.

After my relationship ended, I came to realize that I had developed a sexual compulsion and an addiction to pornography. I also felt that I masturbated entirely too much, which wasted and consumed entirely too much of my time each day. Frankly, masturbation became boring. So, wearing a cock cage consistently seemed like a solution to the habits I’d fallen into that I wanted to change.

Although male chastity devices come in a variety of sizes, colors, and materials, they all perform the same function. By design, they prevent the wearer from getting a full erection, touching themselves, masturbating, fully ejaculating, or engaging in intercourse. The devices typically comprise three pieces—a ring that sits behind the testicles; a tube or cage that encloses the flaccid penis; and a lock of some type to secure the two other components together.

[ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW]

My Salad Days in Chastity

I bought a device and began wearing it all day, and then while sleeping at night. The self-imposed orgasm denial and inability to get a full erection gave me room to focus on other things. But it was a fairly amateur approach; and usually after only a few days at most, my commitment to remain chaste would wane. When that happened, I’d unlock and return to my old habits.

It seemed having a keyholder to supplement my unreliable self-control was a good idea. So, after some searching on the internet, I met a professional who, to my delight, enjoyed locking men up. She was both knowledgeable and experienced. It was a long distance keyholder relationship, so she kept me honest using numbered plastic locks and frequent inspections where she required me to text photos, proving I was wearing the device and the assigned numbered lock was intact. Soon, my keyholder had me going from days of wearing my device to weeks and then months. While I developed a deep affection for my keyholder and enjoyed the interaction, after a while I felt I had gained sufficient self-control to go it alone and ended our agreement.

My Self-Enforced Full-Time Chastity

After ending the agreement with my first keyholder, I sometimes engaged other professional keyholders short-term whenever I felt I needed the extra support. But for more than a year now, I’ve been enforcing my own chastity. For the past thirteen months I’ve worn a chastity device continuously, removing in only once a week for less than a half-hour for cleaning and a thorough washing of my genitals in the shower. During that time, I’ve allowed myself one orgasm every ninety days, but only when caged. So they aren’t like the orgasms I once experienced. I never masturbate in the usual way, but achieve orgasm only with the use of a powerful vibrator against my cage.

While I’ve gone from daily masturbation and multiple orgasms to having only four orgasms during the past thirteen months, instead of feeling sexually repressed, I feel a new kind of freedom. I can concentrate more on work and feel more in touch with myself and the world in general.

What's Next

Full-time chastity has changed me and my perspective on many things. I’m still sexually attracted to women, and sometimes miss the intimacy. But I’m not focused on finding a partner for a relationship or to have sex with any longer. I can’t see myself ever desiring another relationship. And since casual sex never interested me much, I suppose I’ll never have intercourse with a woman again. It seems that chapter in my life ended during the past year. But I have no regrets.

Chastity has cured me of habitual masturbation and I no longer need porn. I like being able to look at attractive women I meet now and see them as potential friends rather than possible sexual partners. I’ve always had a healthy respect for women, but chastity has certainly deepened that.

I can’t even imagine not wearing a chastity device full-time anymore. It even feels uncomfortable when I remove my cage for weekly maintenance. The more time you spend locked, the easier it gets as it becomes your new normal. So, I expect to remain permanently chaste for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

male chastity device reviews

HolyTrainer Nub V4 Version Review

By Chaste on Friday, December 24, 2021

The Holy Trainer Nub V4—A light-weight resin male chastity device that's perfect for the micro chastity enthusiast.

Based on my travels around the web this past year, it seems that micro chastity may very well be the most popular segment of the male chastity device market. There are lots of models available in almost any material you might imagine. I own several micro chastity devices myself, including the Holy Trainer Nub V4 version, which is the focus of today’s male chastity device review. I’ve actually had this device since late March 2021 and finally made the time to wear test and review it. So, if you haven’t had the chance to try the Nub, here is your chance to see what all this device offers.

Holy Trainer Nub V4 Chastity Device Physical Details

Holy Trainer manufacturers the Nub V4 model from a bio-based resin that the company claims is one hundred percent natural and resistant to all detergents and solvents. The ergonomic design aims to offer wearers a device that provides both security and comfortable long-term wear. As shown in the specifications above, with five distinct ring sizes available, all Holy Trainer male chastity devices, including the Nub, suit the unique morphologies of most chastity device wearers right off the shelf. The rings are wide and designed to fit the male anatomy perfectly. If you purchase an original Nub directly from Holy Trainer, the device comes with only one ring, so you must select the proper size. You can find Holy Trainer’s sizing guide here. Like all Holy Trainer male chastity device models, they offer the Nub in three standard colors—black, pink and clear. For an additional charge of $20 USD, Holy Trainer offers all their models in over forty-five custom colors. Choosing a custom color adds twelve days of manufacturing time before Holy Trainer ships the device. The company also offers some additional customization options here, including an accommodation for those with a PA piercing.

Holy Trainer Nub V4 Chastity Device Use

The Holy Trainer Nub V4, like all the company’s device models, is a standard ball-trapping device. The wearer first inserts his scrotum and testicles into the ring and once he has positioned the receiver at the top above the base of the penis, he slides the tube into the channel to mate the two primary components together and then secures the device with the provided MagicLocker that comes with two keys. It’s a simple, innovative design that works effectively. I also own a Nano model, which I find secure. If anything, the Nub’s shorter tube (only one-inch), makes it even more secure. I think it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to remove the penis from the backside of the cage. At least I wasn’t able to accomplish it using a reasonable amount of effort. So, like the Nano, the Nub seems a reasonably secure device. I had no ball slippage issues with either Holy Trainer device. But, as always, I’ll give my standard disclaimer here. No ball-trapping male chastity device (without a PA piercing) is one-hundred percent secure. Someone motivated enough to escape one usually does.

Precautions to Be Taken While Wearing the Nub V4 Male Chastity Device

As with any ball-trapping male chastity device, choosing the proper size base ring is important. The worst that can happen if you choose a ring that’s too large is the locked device might come off or be too easily escaped. However, choosing a ring that is too small can cause significant problems, including compromising your circulation. As a rule of thumb, skin discoloration or skin temperature of the scrotum that feels cooler than normal body temperature are indications of reduced circulation. I don’t know how many images I’ve seen of men wearing chastity devices where their scrotums have turned dark blue or even purple. That’s no bueno. Wearing a base ring that interferes with circulation is asking for a serious medical issue. When you first put on a chastity device, your skin may turn a little red from the manipulation, but it should soon return to the normal color and your scrotum should never feel cold to the touch. When wearing a male chastity device, you should always be able to insert a fingertip between the base ring and your skin. If you can’t, the ring is too small. Also, if you are unaccustomed to wearing a chastity device, it’s a good practice to apply a little personal lubricant between the inner ring and your skin to avoid chaffing and tender spots that can make it uncomfortable to continue wearing the device.

Comfort and Feel of Wearing the Nub Male Chastity Device

Do I like the Nub? That’s really what most people want to know when they read a review. So, I won’t leave you in suspense. The Holy Trainer Nub V4 model is one of the most comfortable male chastity devices I’ve ever worn. It fits me like a glove. It’s so comfortable and light-weight, I forgot I was even wearing it in only a few minutes. Since I’ve been wearing chastity devices for a while, I know a two-inch base ring usually fits me best. So, I chose the 50 mm ring (1.95 inch) and it fit perfectly.

I also found the Nub aesthetically pleasing once I had locked it on and looked at it in a mirror. My penis disappeared completely, and all I had between my legs was tightly captured testicles and a piece of pink plastic. That makes the Nub supremely stealthy. Wearing only a pair of briefs, I had no chastity bump showing at all. Because it is so small, light-weight, and comfortable, the Nub is now my go-to chastity device for running and other exercise activities.

Hygiene Concerns When Wearing the Holy Trainer Nub

I always feel compelled to try urinating while standing when trying out a new male chastity device, even the micro chastity models. The Nub has a generously sized urination outlet, and I was careful to center my urethral opening with the urination outlet while putting on the device. But the design of the device means your urethral opening in pointed straight ahead. It might work okay with a urinal since the stream was unobstructed, but it didn’t work so well with a toilet. So, my advice is just sit to do your business the way it works best with other micro chastity devices.

Since the one-inch tube forces the penis to turtle back into the body, the one drawback with the Nub is it isn’t possible really to keep things as clean as you would like. The urination outlet is about the only place to introduce water and soap into the interior of the device. Since I’m something of a clean freak, I prefer to remove the device once a week for showering and cleaning the Nub itself properly. That isn’t a knock on the device, since every micro chastity device I’ve ever tried requires the same. The steel devices I generally wear are open type cages that make it snap to keep everything clean using my handheld shower head, and I rarely remove them for cleaning.

A Word About Nub Knockoffs

Since all the Holy Trainer models are so popular among male chastity enthusiasts, knockoffs abound all over the internet. There is even a steel model I saw available. I bought an authentic Nub that I wear tested for this review from the manufacturer. So, I have no knowledge or experience with the knockoff versions. I know they are considerably cheaper to buy and often come with up to four different size base rings. The one issue I’ve read on the internet about the knockoffs, and I’ve read it several places from different reviewers, is that at least some knockoffs have sharp edges on the receiver attached to the base ring that will actually cut your skin. Other than that, the usual considerations apply when buying a cheap copy. First, the material used by those making copies of the nub probably won’t be the all natural bio-resin that Holy Trainer uses. Next, the quality isn’t likely comparable. Finally, my device came with an authentic MagicLocker. Cheaper quality copies of the locking device will be supplied with knockoffs. I’ve had a few problems with those in the past and prefer the original MagicLocker. The $165 USD price Holy Trainer charges seemed reasonable to me, and I found it worth paying that price for the real deal. But I understand the temptation to grab a copy that may perform similarly for over a hundred dollars less.

Holy Trainer Nub V4 Final Thoughts

All in all, the Holy Trainer Nub is one impressive male chastity device. I really like the way things look when I have it locked on, and it has felt super comfortable from the first time I put it on. The one-inch tube, most of which slips inside the base ring, makes it impossible to cheat by accessing and stimulating the penis shaft. And as far as ball-trapping devices go, I find it quite secure. The available add-on for those with a PA piercing would make it even more secure. Having done several daily runs wearing the nub, I’ve retired the light-weight, 3D printed cage I was using for exercise before and will wear the Nub for running and other exercising from now on. If I wasn’t so sold on steel devices, I could easily imagine making the Nub my every day device.

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The Care and Feeding of the Male in Chastity

By Chaste on Thursday, March 11, 2021

Sexual Teasing and Chastity—What it Is, Why It's Important, and How to Do It

There are many real and readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. But I’ll be honest. There are trade-offs too, things that will require time and effort on your part if you agree to enforce your husband or partner’s chastity. One of the things involved in the care and feeding of the male in chastity is the requirement for you to devote time and effort to teasing your man regularly.

Sexual teasing is a requisite for doing male chastity properly. It’s so essential that an absence of teasing will ruin the chastity experience for everyone. The necessity of sexual teasing in male chastity and a few tips on how to do it is the topic of this post, the third in the series focused on male chastity from the the female perspective.

If you missed the first two posts, you can find them here and here.

If Only Life Were Simple

If all a woman had to do was lock up her man’s penis, forget it, and reap the benefits, life would be simple. But life is never simple. The same goes for male chastity. If it was, more women would probably feel less reluctant to try male chastity when their men nervously suggest adding it to the relationship mix.

Most guys who desire male chastity would be so thrilled by a partner’s willingness to fulfill their desires by locking them up that for a time that’s all it takes to keep them happy. But as days stretch into weeks, the novelty of wearing a penis cage wears off. Chastity devices hold no inherent magic on their own. The magic comes in when a keyholder enforces chastity properly. Teasing is an essential part of that.

Why Locked and Forgetten Doesn't Work

A guy who is locked and forgotten soon becomes disenchanted with the whole idea of playing the chastity game. Unhappiness turns into dissatisfaction, then into feelings of resentment, and anger. That’s the direct opposite of what want to achieve by putting your man in chastity. That’s why teasing is such an important ingredient. Without it, the only results a woman will see from locking up her man is a petulant, angry, uncooperative guy who won’t want to play the game anymore.

What Teasing Accomplishes

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s orgasms and his ability to play with his penis whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge mind fuck.

The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the desperation and his lack of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for guys to play. The more aroused a denied man stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.

But of course we men aren’t wired to sustain high levels of arousal indefinitely without encouragement, and part of being a keyholder and chastity enforcer is the responsibility to provide that encouragement.

Regular teasing is how you keep your man highly aroused and coming back for more. That’s how you reap consistent benefits—massages on demand, satisfying oral sex on your terms, and an eager helper with those household chores. Regular and consistent teasing is how you keep him interested in the game and focused on you. As a result, your confidence soars as you experience the power of being truly in control of your man and both of your sex lives. That is how male chastity is supposed to work.

Rinse and Repeat

To make chastity work for both of you, you cage your man. Your man becomes increasingly horny and needy. You tease your man, He becomes more horny and needy. He may even whine about how needy he feels and beg you to unlock him. But don’t give in. Just keep teasing and let his brain continue to stew in those lovely endorphins and hormones that orgasm denial produces. The more he whines and begs, the more you tease him.

Rinse and repeat for as long as you want him caged and want to reap the benefits of male chastity. Within reason of course. A point will come where the sexual frustration grows until his arousal can’t be sustained and you will have to unlock him and allow him relief. Then you lock him back up and the game begins anew. Just don’t unlock him too soon or too often. That’s because once you allow a guy to orgasm, you must start all over again at ground zero, and for at least a few days those lovely benefits for you will all but disappear.

Teasing in a Nutshell

Sexual teasing as it relates to male chastity is nothing more than providing some sort of sexual stimulation without allowing a man to orgasm. Teasing can be either physical or non-physical. It can be active or passive. You can remove the cage for teasing or leave it on as it is all up to you as the keyholder. Teasing needn’t consume lots of time. In most cases, a few minutes a day is all that’s required, although you can do it as much as you wish.

Through experimentation, you will soon learn how much teasing it takes to keep your man in that sweet spot of horniness and need. That may not be as much teasing as he wants, but will be as much as he needs to stay highly aroused.

Never feel you must devote entire evenings or hours on weekends to teasing your chaste mate. You will only suffer burnout trying to do too much teasing and then chastity won’t be any fun for you. And if it isn’t fun for you. Then you are the one who will tire of the chastity game.

Active Teasing

We might define active teasing as an activity where you must expend effort. Still, even active teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look first at a few examples of active, physical teasing.

Active Physical Teasing

Physically touching your partner’s genitals with your hands, fingers, or feet is one example of active, physical teasing. That is easily accomplished with his cage locked on since his testicles are exposed and readily available for stimulation. If you’re comfortable with anal play, your caged man’s anus is another fertile target for active, physical teasing. Some chastity couples enjoy introducing pegging into their sexual relationship as a form of teasing.

Removing your man’s cage and permitting him PIV sex is another form of active-physical teasing. The key is not allowing him to orgasm. When you sense he is getting too excited, make him stop until he calms down. Continue with the start and stop, or simply lock him back up when you tire of it.

Regardless of how you choose to do it. active, physical teasing gives your guy the physical sexual stimulation he craves that will keep him horny, needy, and totally focused on you. Now let’s look at active, non-physical teasing.

Active Non-Physical Teasing

Active, non-physical teasing is as simple as you wearing as little as possible around the house when you and your partner are home alone. On weekends, a former partner of mine used to wear only panties and a tight tee-shirt without a bra when we were home alone. She liked dressing comfortably at home, but she also enjoyed teasing me.

Rather than wearing as little as possible, active-non-physical teasing could be wearing sexy clothing like tight shorts or pants, or wearing short dresses while making sure to bend over frequently in your partner’s view.

The ideas here are literally limited only by your imagination. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out how to use your feminine form to maximum effect when you wish to appear alluring to a guy.

Passive Teasing

Let’s define passive teasing as an activity where you don’t have to expend effort, at least not effort to affect the teasing.

Here again, passive teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look at some examples of passive, physical teasing.

Passive Physical Teasing

What comes easily to mind, is you allowing your caged partner to give you oral sex. It’s passive in the sense all you must do is relax and enjoy receiving it.

Similarly, you might masturbate while allowing your caged partner to watch without participating. Yes, you’re expending some effort, but it’s all focused on you so that’s why I consider it passive. I can’t imagine any guy who wouldn’t find that a huge turn-on.

You could switch it around by removing the cage and allowing your partner to masturbate while all you do is passively watch. You might make him perform edges where he masturbates right up to the point of climax, but then has to stop.

Edging is the most fun when you make a guy do series of edges. He masturbates to the edge of orgasm, stops until he calms down, and then repeats the process all over, again and again, for a set number of times. Just don’t allow him to orgasm and lock him back up when you tire of the game.

Other examples of passive, physical teasing is allowing your partner to give you foot or back massages, or allowing him to rub his now useless, caged genitals against your bare bottom when you’re in bed together.

Passive Non-Physical Teasing

Here again, we find virtually endless possibilities for teasing that require no real time or effort on your part and no physical contact.

You might make hubby wear nothing but a pair of your old panties or a pair you bought specifically for him with a tee shirt whenever you’re home alone and while he takes care of whatever household chores you’ve assigned. Unless he is into cross-dressing, he will find that embarrassing, maybe even slightly humiliating. But if he is horny and needy enough, he won’t refuse. And I can almost guarantee the mild embarrassment will cause the contents of his cage to swell uncomfortably the entire time. You can up the ante by telling him how sexy in looks in women’s panties and that you’re thinking about requiring him to wear them as his regular underwear.

Assigning your partner household chores can of itself serve as a form of passive, non-physical teasing. Most guys find it arousing when a woman takes charge and puts them to work cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets, etc. while she reclines on the couch watching her favorite television program or reads a book.

Dropping verbal hints that you can’t decide when you might unlock your partner and allow him some relief or making statements that you’re thinking seriously about keeping him locked up permanently is a good form of passive, non-physical teasing.

Some guys like it when their partner tells them how useless or pathetic or tiny their penises look when caged. This is a form of mild humiliation and some men find it very arousing. But unless you already know your man gets off on it, you may want to take it easy at first if you decide to try it.

Continuing with the mild humiliation form of teasing, while you’re out at the mall or supermarket or some other public place, you might point out some attractive guy to your partner. Then say, something like, “I bet that guy has a huge, man-sized cock, honey. It’s making me wet just thinking about what sex might be like with him.” Or use one of your partner’s male co-workers or friends you know in a similar way. Say something like, “You know, honey, I’ve always imagined that [insert person’s name] has a really big cock, much bigger than your tiny thing. I bet he can really satisfy a woman.”

Through passive, non-physical teasing, you get a lot of mileage with little or no real effort on your part that will keep your hubby or partner feeling horny and desperately needy.

More Resources

Here we’ve looked at only the tip of the teasing iceberg with a few examples to stimulate your imagination. If you need more examples, I have a couple of resources I can recommend.

Georgia Ivey Green has a good book on the subject, The Ultimate Guide to Teasing and Denial. I’ve provided the Amazon link so you can use the look inside feature. But the book is also available from other retailers.

My Boy in Chastity’s Blog, is another good resource for teasing ideas. The blogger is a woman whose husband’s request for chastity caught her completely off-guard. She writes about her experiences with it. While this blog is now inactive, it still contains lots of great information for women whose partner’s desire chastity. She learned as she went along, but in the end became exceptionally adept at teasing her husband and keeping his arousal peaking.

Now that you know more about what teasing is with regard to male chastity and that it is pretty simple, maybe it seems less of a barrier to trying chastity with your partner.

enforced male chastity

Benefits Women Can Expect From Male Chastity

By Chaste on Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Think Male Chastity Only Benefits the Men Who Want it? Think Again.

There are many readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. In the first article aimed at women whose husbands or boyfriends have revealed they desire chastity, I briefly mentioned the benefits women can expect from male chastity. In this post, we look at those benefits more closely.

Common Complaints Women Have About Their Men

One way to look at the readily attainable benefits of agreeing to lock your male partner’s penis in a chastity device is to look at some of the common complaints women have about their men. While researching this article, I looked at many different lists of this type, and here are eight complaints that made every list.

(1) “He never helps around the house.”

(2) “He’s is always playing video games, watching sports, etc., etc.”

(3) “We have the same arguments every day.”

(4) “He just wants sex.”

(5) “A little appreciation would be nice.”

(6) “He has to be taught basic life skills.”

(7) “He’s afraid of my feelings.”

(8) “He doesn’t listen.”

Do any of these sound familiar, ladies? All of them? What if I told you putting your man in chastity could eradicate the behaviors behind all of these complaints? Other women have seen it happen. So could you. But how is that possible?

Men and Sex

Someone once said that for women, sex is like scratching an itch. For men, it is like satisfying hunger or thirst. I think that’s an accurate analogy. The sex drives of women and men are remarkably different. Imagine if we were all the same. If evolution had programmed women to view and want sex the same as it has men, the world would be in utter chaos.

Many women believe that men have a one-track mind when it comes to sex. The truth is, that is a simplistic explanation for how men think about sex. Hundreds of thousands of years have programmed men with a prime directive to reproduce. It was nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species.

While once a useful and necessary trait, the male sex drive is now mostly a nuisance.

A majority of men naturally feel a nearly irresistible urge to ejaculate semen every twenty-four to seventy-hours. When aroused, a man is the most conscious of and attuned to women because of the sexual desire and the felt need to satisfy it. Once the urge is satiated, male desire reaches its lowest level, and he loses interest.

But not for long. Usually, within twenty-four hours, desire builds once again. It’s a continuous cycle. If a female partner is unavailable, most men resort to masturbation to satisfy the sexual need.

Why can’t men show a little self-discipline like women do when it comes to sex? That’s like asking why a heroin addict can’t show a little self-discipline and stop using heroin. I’m not making excuses for men. I’m only telling you the truth.

How Chastity Changes Everything

When a man’s penis is locked inside a chastity device, everything changes. He no longer enjoys the freedom to orgasm at will or even to touch his penis. The person holding the key makes those decisions. The sexual desire doesn’t disappear. It becomes more pronounced. The need becomes more keenly felt. A chaste man can soon feel desperate for sexual release. That’s why male sexual energy, when harnessed for good through the use of a chastity cage, becomes a tool a woman can use to modify her partners’ behavior.

Imagine that, and let it sink in for a moment. You’ve locked your partner’s penis in a cage, and you hold the key. Only you can unlock him. He feels desperate for sexual release. Who do you think becomes his singular focus, the most important person in his world? That’s right. You. Only you have the power to give him what he desperately wants.

The Behavior of a Chaste Man

Men locked in a chastity device behave far differently than men who are not. That’s because orgasm denial produces some profound hormonal changes in the male body. The changes are so dramatic that even while experiencing almost unbearable arousal, it can feel supremely pleasurable.

In this state, a man becomes more attentive to his partner and her needs, more in touch with his own feelings, and eager to please to almost a subservient degree. Those eight common complaints we looked at earlier? The male behaviors behind them simply disappear. The chastened man will literally do almost anything his partner, the keyholder, asks of him. Imagine the possibilities. These are the benefits women can expect from male chastity.

No one has to tell you how disinterested, inattentive, and unromantic your man becomes after having sex or masturbating. Imagine now that instead of enduring this behavior every few days, you only have to deal with it occasionally and as infrequently as you wish.

Just because he desires chastity doesn’t mean you must give up sex, not even PIV sex. You are free to have it as often as you like. Only you forbid him to come and lock him right back up when you’ve finished with him.

You can even keep him locked up and enjoy the attentive quality oral sex you’ve always dreamed of but rarely experienced in the past. He will be happy to serve you orally as often and for as long as you wish as he learns that giving you pleasure becomes his greatest pleasure.

So I Can Keep Him Locked All the Time?

No, unfortunately, you can’t leave a man locked and denied indefinitely. If you never give him a release, his arousal level will eventually fall. He might even become depressed. He must believe that eventually, you will allow him a release.

But you can easily keep him in the state of elevated arousal for weeks at a time. And by judiciously managing his releases through the use of techniques like ruined orgasms, prostate milking, and only allowing him to come while wearing his chastity device (though use of a vibrator), you can shorten those periods of unsatisfactory behavior. That’s because while all of those techniques give him a small measure of relief, they aren’t truly satisfying in the way unrestricted orgasms are.

After a less than fully satisfying release, his arousal will quickly build again to its former elevated level, that sweet spot where you want to keep him.

If Only Life Were Simple

If life were simple, the only effort required of you would be snapping a lock shut and putting away the key. Frankly, it doesn’t work quite that way. Chastity will require some time and effort on your part to keep your partner’s arousal at a high level. It will require you to tease him sexually regularly. But that’s something you should want to do. That’s how you maximize the benefits you will enjoy.

Don’t worry. Even if teasing isn’t something you feel particularly adept at or even something you feel wired to do, it isn’t hard and doesn’t require loads of time. Teasing is the next topic we will visit in this series. And as far as the time commitment, all you must do is shift chores and responsibilities to your partner you have done previously to free up the extra time.

If your husband or boyfriend has recently admitted he desires chastity and asks you to enforce it by becoming his keyholder, I hope you feel less reluctant about giving it a try. After reading this post, you now know the benefits women can expect from male chastity and that it could vastly improve your relationship. By agreeing to lock up your partner’s penis, you will be doing yourself a big favor.

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Another Ninety-Day Stretch Wearing a Male Chastity Device

By Chaste on Sunday, February 28, 2021

Is It Time to For the Road Less Traveled?

If you keep up with my current status on this site, you may have noticed that I’m less than a day away from completing another ninety-day stretch wearing a male chastity device. So far in my chastity journey, ninety-days is my personal best. This will be the third time I’m reached that mark. Now I’m debating where I want to go next. I’ve been locked for all of 2021 so far, but I’m not ready to unlock yet. It is only a matter of how much longer I want to commit to staying locked.

The Unmade Resolution

Before the first of the year, I thought about making a New Year’s chastity resolution. But when January 1 arrived, I was still undecided. Should I commit to six months? Or should I try wearing a cock cage for the entire year? Both seem worthy goals since I’ve yet to go beyond ninety consecutive days. Unable to decide, the resolution went unmade. So, I’m revisiting it now.

Usually, I do very well with self-enforced chastity and find that I’m less and less dependent on having a professional keyholder to motivate me. But it seems each time I hit the three-month mark, I start to think a little wistfully about how great it would be to have a permanent keyholder.

Knowing someone is enforcing your chasteness just feels so much more profound than doing it yourself. Under those circumstances, committing to six-months or even a year without a break would be much easier. But, I’m not ready to unlock after ninety-days this time. It’s only a matter of how much longer I’ll go.

Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood

My circumstances put me in mind of one of my favorite poems, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

I’ve traveled the ninety-days road three times and it seems it is now time to take things longer, the road less traveled by. So, I’ll carry on when day ninety-one arrives. But you don’t have to get too complicated with chastity unless that’s what you want. So, instead of choosing a future date three-months or nine-months from now, I believe I’ll just take it a month at a time. I’ll commit to another month and see how I’m feeling about things then. Even completing 120-days would be a new personal best.

The Ultimate Goal Permanent Chastity

Since the beginning, my ultimate goal has been permanent chastity. I’ve already reached the point in my chastity journey where I feel more comfortable wearing a device than when I’m not. For that reason I suppose I might be able to continue indefinitely. Achieving permanent chastity may now be realistically within my grasp. But I don’t know.

For now I’m committed to another thirty days and reaching the 120-day mark. Then we’ll see. Maybe at that point, I’ll have gone far enough along the road less traveled by that it will make all the difference.

Next up for review is the Holy Trainer Nub V4. I’ve already ordered it and will get it in plenty of time for a proper wear test before publishing the Q2 review April 5. As much as I’ve enjoyed the Holy Trainer Nano V4, I can’t wait to try the Nub. I’m a real fan of micro-chastity devices and am eager to see how the Nub stacks up with some of the metal micro devices I’ve tried.

Back to Amicus

As much as I like the new Jail Bird, I’ll be starting day 91 back in my Amicus. Of all the devices I’ve tried, it remains my favorite.

enforced male chastity

The Ethos of Male Chastity

By Chaste on Tuesday, February 23, 2021

The Customs and Character of the Chaste Life Through Enforced Chastity

Enforced chastity is the practice where a male consents to someone else denying him orgasms on a more or less regular basis. This is often accomplished with the use of a chastity device (or cock cage), which prevents a male from touching his penis, achieving full erections, and ejaculating. In this article, I discuss the ethos of male chastity, the customs and character of the male chaste life.

The Unbridled Male Sex Drive

Within the average male there is a tremendous drive to have sex. It’s a natural, fundamental urge that’s impossible for us to ignore, genetically programmed into us by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. While there is nothing wrong with having a healthy sex drive, the irresistible urges of our male libidos can be like a mighty river at flood stage, sweeping away everything in its path on its journey to reach the sea. One way or another, our sex drive demands release of the pent up sexual energy, not caring whether that gets achieved by destroying everything that stands in the way of us achieving sexual gratification.

Sexual Response Cycle

After a man orgasms his sexual response and desire drops precipitously to their lowest levels. But, as we know from experience, that doesn’t last long. Within twenty-four hours for most us, our sexual response and desire begins to slowly return as our prostates refill. Some guys may barely notice it at first, but within forty-eight to seventy-hours most men are ready again for some relief.

There are a lot of myths about male sexual desire, including the common belief that all men want sex all the time. I’m sure we’ve all heard the tired old trope that we men think with our penises instead of the heads on our shoulders. But it is true that most men think about and want sex more often than the average female. But let’s look now at a new myth being perpetrated today, especially in articles on the wonderful world wide web.

Women Want Sex As Often as Men?

Today we live in a society hyper-focused on equality of the genders at all costs. Instead of the freedom to appreciate the unique differences between males and females, increasingly, we are assailed by rabid social engineer keyboard warriors who insist we are all the same in every way.

For this reason you can find a lot of gibberish on the internet these days claiming that the libidos of men and women are not significantly different and that females desire sex as often as men. Wait! Whut? That has not been my experience.

I’m relying on personal anecdotal evidence here, but I’ve been it what I consider a fairly representative sample of relationships with women. That began with a marriage to a woman that was somewhat sexually repressed. During our marriage if we had sex three times a month, it was a cause for celebration.

After our divorce, I have been in only one relationship with a woman who was at least willing (if not always enthusiastic) to have sex as often as I wanted it. And of all the women I’ve had relationships since divorcing there has been only one woman who wanted sex more often than I did. She wore me flat out, but I was brave and tried never to complain.

Anyone who claims the sex drives of men and women are not materially different are simply full of crap. Either they don’t know what the hell they are talking about, or they are attempting to drive some gender equality narrative that has nothing to do with sex or libidos. Think about it. If nature had wired women to want sex as often as men, economies would collapse and civilizations would crumble because none of us would have time for anything else but sex.

The Reality of Unequal Libidos

Here’s the rub. Since most males desire sex more or less every twenty-four to seventy-two hours and most women do not, that can produce a lot of male sexual frustration. Since most of us guys don’t care to experience sexual frustration much, we to go to a reliable plan B when our partner isn’t interested. We wank, oftentimes accompanied by some motivational porn watching.

In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with masturbation, in moderation. If we’re in a relationship it can be a healthy way to fill in the gaps between our levels of sexual desire and that of a partners with a lower sex drive. It is certainly more healthy than having arguments about having sex. The problem arises when moderation goes out the window and wanking becomes an all too frequent habit. Many studies have shown that most guys masturbate daily, and some masturbate multiple times daily.

Sometimes when men masturbate excessively, it’s only because it feels so good they want to do it a lot. But, excessive masturbation can also come about because of the disparity between the sex drives of the genders. When a guy’s female partner rejects having sex with him, especially when rejection is frequent, it can feel like it is a rejection of his whole person. Also, guys may feel they are reduced to begging every time they want sex.

It’s not that we expect our partners to say yes every single time, but well, you get tired of continual rejection and having to beg. That can suck all the pleasure out of even having sex. Wanking seems a no-brainer. You get what you need without any chance of rejection and without having to beg for sex. But this too can lead to problems. It isn’t an exaggeration to say that excessive masturbation can be a relationship killer.

I’ll offer another personal anecdote. Once I was in a relationship with a woman who didn’t need or desire sex as often as I did. I often showered right before bed so I could wank because it helped me sleep better and I knew better than to expect sex. Invariably, there were times after I’d masturbated that she unexpectedly was in the mood for sex. At best, I wasn’t in the mood since I’d already satisfied my urges. Usually, I tried to accommodate her, but often wasn’t able to sustain an erection because I’d already ejaculated minutes before getting into bed. Good times.

Wanking and Porn the Silent Relationship Killers

Problems also arise for men who fall into the habit of staying up an hour or two or three to watch porn and wank after their significant other goes to bed. It starts because a guy has little confidence he will get sex, so why not stay up and get what you need? But after a while, he can become so satisfied with the porn and the wanking that he doesn’t really care whether she wants to have sex or not.

Personally, I’ve never known a woman, even a sexually liberated one, who was okay with that. They feel hurt, upset, and resentful. Soon the relationship starts to crumble. That’s because sex is not only a physical, pleasurable act for either gender. There is more to it than just getting naked and sharing a physical act. Experiencing emotional connection, closeness, and intimacy is also a large part of sex for both men and women. That is the part excessive masturbation can destroy, the very underpinnings of a successful relationship.

It Isn't Only About Sex For Men

I think I speak for many men when I say we want to be devoted to our wives or romantic partners. When a woman captures our hearts, we have an innate desire to do anything to please her and to make her feel happy and cared for. We are even willing to make sacrifices for her by making our needs secondary to her needs. This is not as unusual as some might believe. Given the right relational environment and guidance, these natural male qualities can contribute to a foundation upon which successful relationships thrive.

All most of us want in return is to feel loved and desired. We all want to feel like we matter to our partners and that our sexual organs have value to them. That’s why frequent rejection feels so damaging.

And sometimes, we want the rules and roles in the bedroom reversed. We want our partners to give the compliments, flirt with us, seduce us, and to initiate sex. This is important to us because when our partners initiate sexual activity it is the ultimate, the most clear way we feel desired.

That may seem to fly in the face of conventional wisdom. Both men and women are conditioned to seeing women’s bodies being the objects of desire. For this reason, I think many women are completely unaware that men feel this way about being desired.

Embracing The Ethos of Male Chastity

If what I’ve expressed here strikes a chord with you, exploring the ethos of male chastity might be for you. The practice of chastity, enforced by your partner, can transform your relationship in ways you may find unimaginable.

A woman who locks her man’s penis in a chastity device can expect to gain a more caring and attentive lover. Chastity can help a man learn to be humble, servant-minded, and more attuned to his instinctual male nature to lovingly yield his heart to his partner and to discover that her pleasure can become his greatest pleasure.

For many men, wearing a cock cage can become not only a reflection of their value but also a feeling of acceptance by their partner and a near immediate fulfillment of their need to feel desired.

The chaste life, while difficult at first and something that requires an adjustment period, offers so much more than the fleeting seconds of pleasure a guy gets from ejaculating semen every twenty-four to seventy-hours. So, if trying chastity has been something you’ve thought about but you’ve never taken the first step, maybe now is the time to sit down with your wife or romantic partner to have a serious talk about enforced male chastity.

First Steps

If you’re curious about male chastity and what it can do for you and your relationship, don’t put it off any longer. Take the first steps toward embracing the chaste life. On our chastity device review page, you can read reviews of a variety of chastity devices. Some of the custom-made models require a significant investment. But you will also find reviews for many well-made cock cages that cost lest than a hundred bucks and others that cost less than $20. An inexpensive device is often the best choice for a guy just getting started.

Next, do some reading. You will find many informative articles on this website aimed at beginners. There are also now many great books available on the topic of male chastity. Besides my book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity, I recommend Locked in Love by Key Barrett. Once you’ve read these books, they are both great for passing off to your partner when you feel ready to have the chastity talk with her. If you’re a guy ready to re-imagine your relationship, don’t put it off any longer. Take those first steps now.

enforced male chastity

So Your Husband Wants You to Lock His Penis in a Chastity Device

By Chaste on Monday, February 22, 2021

Tips For the Reluctant Wife (Or Partner)

I have recently updated this consistently popular post, So Your Husband Wants You to Lock His Penis in a Chastity Device, with new information.

In this post, I offer a bit of advice to the woman whose husband has shocked her with a startling request. He wants her to lock his penis in a chastity device. If that describes you, I understand why this can feel more than a little unsettling if not overwhelming. You’re a “normal” person, with what you thought was a “normal” husband, in a “normal” relationship, and now all of a sudden your husband or significant other wants you to become some sort of kinky dominatrix.

Part of the problem is, and trust me on this, when your husband or partner tried to explain his desire for chastity to you, probably he absolutely chose the wrong way to explain it. But don’t panic. Take a deep breath. The request isn’t nearly as bizarre as it might appear at first blush. You can get through this.

Chastity Devices and Why Men Want to Wear Them

This may not come as a surprise to you. If you’ve been married to or with your significant other long, you have probably already noticed his somewhat obsessive relationship with his penis. The point is we think about and fantasize about sex a lot and seem to want it all the time. When we can’t get it all the time, we are often prone to spending inordinate amounts of time getting ourselves off with masturbation. It’s not on purpose. Millions of years of evolution have wired us this way. It’s built into our DNA.

Making the problem even worse is that visuals of sexy, often scantily clad females are everywhere—on television, on the internet, and in real life, at the office, the gym, etc. Add to that mix the pornography industry which generates around $12 billion dollars in annual revenue (more revenue than the combined annual revenues of ABC, NBC, and CBS) that caters almost exclusively to the male sex drive. With these female visuals everywhere, it’s almost a lead pipe cinch that it can trigger for most men the “I want to have sex with that” response. Again, this is not entirely our fault.

Now try this. Imagine you’re sitting on the living room sofa with your husband or boyfriend, watching a favorite television program. Suddenly, he clears his voice, looks at you nervously, and blurts out something that shocks and maybe even confuses you a little. Something similar to this.

“I would like us to add chastity to our relationship. I want you to take complete control of deciding when and how we have sex and when and under what circumstances you allow me to touch myself or have an orgasm.”

“You want what?” you exclaim.

No one could fault you that such a revelation might take you completely by surprise. After all, if he’s like most guys, your partner has probably complained that you don’t have sex often enough, that you aren’t in the mood too often, and has shamelessly checked out other women when he was out with you. Maybe he spends an inordinate amount of time on the internet looking at porn. You may know, or at least suspect, he masturbates way too much. Now he is asking you to take complete control of his access to all sexual pleasure, to decide all aspects of your sex life together, and swears he will abide by your decisions. That’s a lot to take in.

If you’re anything like most women faced with such a revelation, you will have questions. Lots of questions. You will find it hard to believe your partner really wants this. In disbelief, you will probably start asking him question, trying to understand what prompted this. Making it even more confusing is that you may have never even heard of such a thing. What is chastity? Some kinky sex game?

Remember the look of relief that flashed across his face that was palpable once he realizes you were at least open to discussing chastity. He eagerly answered your questions and tried to explain (probably badly), more about what he wants and why. Typically, men find it hard to explain why they want chastity to their wives or girlfriends. He may not explain it perfectly. But might say something like chastity and having you take control is something he has fantasized about for some time and something that truly excites him.

Usually, it takes a guy a long time to work up the courage to tell his wife or girlfriend that he wants her to lock him in a chastity device and to take control of his access to all sexual pleasure. As important as it may be to him, as much as he wants it, he fears your rejection. And often, by the time he works up the courage to broach the subject with his partner, he has already secretly purchased a chastity device and experimented with it. And once the conversation begins, he will grow eager to show you the device, hoping you will better understand what it is and what he wants.

It might amaze you to learn that there are so many men today who wish to be locked in a chastity device and to hand over control of it to the woman in their life. When a woman agrees to such an arrangement, she becomes her partner’s keyholder. Wait! But what is a chastity device, anyway? Good question.

Before You Dismiss Chastity as Just Another Stupid Kinky Game

While there are complete chastity belts that lock around the waist available today, the type of device your husband or boyfriend is most likely telling you about is a simple affair consisting of a ring and a tube or cage affair. The ring goes over the base of the penis and around and beneath the scrotum. The tube or cage then slides over the penis, connects to the ring, and a lock secures the two components together.

Manufacturers and retails offer many styles of these devices, mostly online. They come in a variety of materials like plastic, stainless steel, and silicone and an array of colors. Once locked in place on the male genitals, a chastity device prevents a man from getting normal erections, from touching themselves, let alone masturbating, and from engaging in sexual intercourse.

Of course, if your husband or boyfriend comes to you and reveals out of the blue that he wants you to lock up his penis in one of these devices and to assume complete control of his genitals and sex life, at first blush it may seem a ludicrous proposition. You may feel tempted to dismiss it as just another weird, stupid, kinky sex game he has picked up from the internet. That’s understandable. Again, it is a lot to take in.

Women, as a rule, have calmer temperaments and better self control. Not as intensely sexually focused as many men often are, women might go for a week or even much longer without an orgasm and think nothing of it. You may have often thought men could probably accomplish so much more in life if they weren’t so obsessed with sex. And you would be right if you ever thought that. And that’s just one reason you shouldn’t just dismiss the request for chastity from your husband or boyfriend without giving the idea some serious consideration. If you think about it, your partner is offering you an incredible gift. So, before you give the idea of dismissing the idea of chastity out of hand, first ask yourself these questions.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Are you unhappy with how much attention your partner now pays you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he spends too much time surfing porn on the internet? Are you fed up with catching him ogling other attractive women when you’re out together? Has he admitted to you, or do you suspect he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to give up sexual intercourse with him, at least in the short term, if you got a lot more attention from him, including a lot more oral sex? Do you feel the initial excitement and romance have declined significantly and that you often feel dissatisfaction with your relationship? Are you willing to take control and put in some effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If you answered yes to these questions, maybe you should consider chastity for your husband.

How Does Chastity Work?

Agreeing to lock your husband or boyfriend in a chastity device and taking on the responsibility of becoming his keyholder isn’t beyond the capabilities of most women. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have to sacrifice time to learn what is required to become an effective keyholder. There is much more to it than snapping the lock shut, forgetting all about it, and getting on with your life. It doesn’t quite work that way. If you adopt that approach, often called locked and forgot, neither of you will get any of the benefits that chastity offers.

Let’s be clear about one thing. At the beginning, most guys who ask their partner to lock them in chastity are almost exclusively focused on the fantasy rather than the reality of chastity. That’s okay because we can’t expect people to know what something is about until they have experienced it. Here is why this is important to understand. Should you agree to grant your partner’s wish and lock him in a chastity device, initially, he will be over the moon. Yet in as little as a few days, thanks to the normal male sexual response cycle, reality will raise its ugly head.

After orgasm and ejaculation, for most men, their sexual desire and arousal drops to their lowest levels. We’ve all seen it. Their interest in sex evaporates. Along with it, they shove romance and flirting roughly aside and other things occupy their minds. But, as we also know, those rascally men don’t stay disinterested in sex for long. Within 24 to 36 hours, their sexual desire slowly returns as their prostates refill. Guys may barely notice it at first, but by the second and third day after orgasm and ejaculation, their one-tracked minds again focus on sex and they are ready for some loving. You must prepare for this if you decide to become your partner’s keyholder. Because this is what usually happens.

After you lock him and he spends two or three days wearing the chastity device, he will probably start asking you to unlock him. If you refuse, he may become a little cool toward you. Over the next few days, he may grow steadily whinier until his begging to be unlocked will become intolerable. That won’t be much fun for you or him. If you take pity on him, unlock him, and let him out every third or fourth day to take care of himself, it may seem fine. But the whole chastity thing will be a bit of a letdown for you. If you’ve ever read or heard about all the benefits a woman should expect from keeping her man in chastity, you will wonder what everyone is raving about. That’s why you can’t fall into this trap.

If you agree to become your partner’s keyholder, before you snap the lock shut, stress to him chastity might be a game, but it’s a serious game with rules and you will make the rules. Tell him you will take chastity seriously because that’s what he says he wants. And if he shows he isn’t serious by begging for you to unlock him, getting whiny, complaining about feeling miserable, or indulging in other inappropriate behaviors, you will unlock him and forbid him to bring up chastity to you ever again.

He needs to understand you intend to take control, you’re serious, and you won’t take any crap. Do that and you can successfully guide him to the almost magical place that some call the “Goldilocks Phase.” Men reach that phase after about 7 to 10 days, where ever growing arousal and ever-intensifying desire produces sweet, pleasurable sensations that seem as if they will never end. This is where you want your locked partner spending his time, because this phase lasting 21 to 30 days is when chastity will benefit you and him the most.

Today an abundance of resources exist that explain everything you need to know about male chastity and keyholding. Here are three books I recommend, all written by women, that will teach you everything you need to know. I’ve provided Amazon links, but you can find these books at most major bookstores.

A Keyholder’s Handbook by Georgia Ivey Green

Tips & Tricks for Keyholders by Georgia Ivey Green

Practical FLR: Lessons for a Female Led Relationship by J. M. Scott

Both of the books by Georgia Ivey Green focus directly on male chastity and keyholding. If you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited, you can even read both books free, as they are included in your membership. The book by J. M. Scott has only one chapter devoted specifically to male chastity, but in the book you will find a wealth of information about taking control of your relationship. Frankly, when you’re controlling a man’s orgasms, you’re controlling the man. And J. M. Scott will teach you how to do that most effectively.

The internet also has a wealth of information about male chastity and keyholding available for free. Unfortunately, a lot of it is wrong, worthless information based more on chastity fantasy than chastity reality. But a few great resources exist. I try to write posts that women and keyholders will find helpful regularly. But there are two other blogs that I highly recommend to women new to chastity and keyholding. Since women curate both blogs, the content comes from a woman’s point of view.

Evolving Your Man

My Boy in Chastity

Emma, who curates Evolving Your Man, keeps her husband Kevin in chastity and has for many years. She is a dedicated researcher and writes interesting and authoritative posts on a variety of chastity and sexuality topics. The woman who publishes My Boy in Chastity details her experiences of guiding her husband’s chastity from the day he first asked her to lock him up and take control until the present. After a hiatus, she began posting again this year. On this blog, the most recent posts appear first. I recommend scrolling all the way to the beginning to start. That way you get the story from beginning to end.

So your husband wants you to lock his penis in a chastity device and you need answers. Hopefully, this post has helped you by answering a few and pointed you to other great resources you will find helpful.

Remember You Don't Have to Become Someone You're Not

Taking part in your partner’s chastity journey doesn’t mean you have to change. You don’t have to become some corset and stiletto-boots wearing dominatrix, or an amateur sex worker. Just be yourself and create your own style.

It doesn’t have to become a time suck and your life needn’t revolve around your significant other’s desire for chastity. You don’t have to be an expert at sexual teasing or spend loads of time learning how to become one. Some teasing is required to keep your husband’s arousal peaking, but there are plenty of simple ways to do that which don’t require a lot of time. I’ll do another post on that topic soon.