First orgasm release in chastity

By Chaste on Sunday, January 19, 2020

So, a week ago Lady Jayne gave me my first proper release. She controlled the whole thing as far as choosing the when, where, and how I’d have the orgasm. She also gave me a time limit, but it was a generous one. As usual, there was no advance notice. She texted me and told me to unlock for a release.

Once I understood it was to be a normal orgasm, not another ruined one, I admit I was excited by the prospect. On the other hand, I felt a little anxious since I’ve heard all about what happens after an orgasm for men who have been denied for a lengthy time. For me, my last orgasm, other than the ruined one, had been on December 23, one day short of three weeks. I’d never gone three weeks without an orgasm since I discovered masturbation as a kid. To tell the truth, pretty sure I’ve never gone three days without one before being locked.

She’s the boss, so despite the misgivings I followed her instructions. I wasn’t watching the clock, but I’m fairly sure it took no more than two minutes of stimulation to reach climax. As I anticipated it was a mind-blowing orgasm, the most intense I can recall having in a very long time. There was one rope of semen spurted after another. I had been standing as I’d been told to do. My knees felt shaky and pretty sure I saw a starburst or two when the orgasm hit. All good on that front. But, along with the good came the bad.

By the time I’d showered, cleaned the cage, and locked back up, I was already feeling like I had a hangover. I also felt tired, emotionally drained, mildly depressed, a bit sad, and strangely enough, I felt a little guilty for having the orgasm.

Since this was my first release after a lengthy time in denial, it was my first experience with this neurochemical reaction. Even though I had expected it to happen, I wasn’t prepared for how strong the stew of emotions were that hit me. Even all I’d read about it hadn’t mitigated it. I understand why it happens, but that didn’t make it easier to experience it.

I suppose what men in chastity experience when having an orgasm after a lengthy time of denial is a form of what is called post-coital tristesse (PCT), or after sex sadness. It too is a neurochemical reaction that thoroughly confuses and dulls the mind. What goes up, must come down. After the dopamine-flood accompanying orgasm, dopamine levels drop below baseline-that is, lower than they were before orgasm.

I’ve learned that being locked in chastity and denied continues to stoke arousal causing the brain to flood itself with dopamine and endorphins. That means your baseline levels are much higher than normal, so it’s understandable why the hormone and dopamine drop is so precipitous when you come. Once the highly pleasurable orgasm ends, so does the dopamine flows until the arousal cycle starts all over again.

It actually took me the rest of the evening and part of the next day to process what I’d experienced. A part of me felt like I never wanted to have another orgasm while locked and denied since I felt so literally miserable after the orgasm. But, as the week since the release has progressed, my arousal has returned to a high level and I’m getting the dopamine fix again. Lady Jayne has helped with that.

Satisfied I have adjusted to the cage, she has added daily teasing to the mix. That probably has me feeling more aroused than anytime since my chastity exploration started on Christmas Eve. So, yes, I’m already craving another release. I just wonder if the next time the drop will be as hard as the last time. I find myself hoping it is something you learn to deal with better with practice.

I don’t really have another orgasm on the horizon to approach with the mixture of eager anticipation and dread since the 30-day introduction to chastity that Lady Jayne and I agreed to ends this coming Wednesday. While nothing has been decided about extending our agreement yet, we’ve talked about it some in recent days. It seems clear we’re both interested in continuing with each other and agreeing for her to take permanent ownership. But, at least right now I’m considering taking the rest of January off and restarting with her on the first of February. I think I could use the time to process what I learned over the 30 days and see how it feels to be unlocked again. That I think would help me to decide if a more permanent relationship with Lady Jayne is what I really want.

The thing is, I already have a strong feeling that getting started in the chastity lifestyle is a lot easier than walking away from it once you’ve had the experience of being locked. That’s one reason I feel like I should take a step back for a week or so to see what it feels like being unlocked again. Since Lady Jayne locked me for the first time, sometimes I feel like Neo sitting in a dark room with Morpheus when he holds out his hand and offers two options. The pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance. The red pill or the blue pill.

Do I to go forward living in the dopamine-fueled bliss I’ve experienced while in chastity under the complete control of Lady Jayne? Or, do I go back to the way things were before, blissfully ignorant of how my past penis-centrism affected about every aspect of my life and relationships with others? Like Neo, I feel I’m facing a very important decision. And, it’s not an easy one to make.

submission

Chasing the chastity rabbit down the hole without a look back

By Chaste on Thursday, January 9, 2020

I was re-reading one of Thumper’s posts at Denying Thumper, where he talks about listening to a podcast and being taken aback when the hosts said something about not being into chastity for “behavior modification.” Thumper weighs in on the idea with, “Thing is, I can’t conceive of chastity as not modifying behavior. And not just the obvious tactical changes it enforces (no masturbating), but the big picture stuff, too.”

Nearing the end of my eighth consecutive day of being locked, I tend to agree with Thumper’s analysis. I’ll even go a step further. If we’re talking serious, long-term male chastity, I think behavior modification is the whole point of it. Consider what makes behavior modification work, as explained in this excerpt from a Psychology Today article.

“Behavior modification focuses on changing an individual’s environment in ways that increase the likelihood that certain behaviors will occur. Regardless of the specific approaches being used, ‘behavior change’ is always the goal.”

Source: “Understanding What Makes Behavior Modification Work.” Psychology Today. Oct. 2, 2018 web. Dec. 28, 2019.

It certainly alters a guy’s environment big time when his cock gets locked in a chastity device and he loses all access to it. The truth is most guys feel like the very core of their masculinity comes from their penis and being able to use it sexually. Chastity is a sea change in his environment. It’s bound to affect behavioral change.

This point is really being driven home to me today as I enter my second week of being locked in a chastity device. Sure, that isn’t a long time in the greater scheme of things, but it is another profound milestone for me as a novice. It has been an occasion for me to look inward and ponder some of the changes that have already started to take place. One very significant change immediately came to mind.

At first, when I became interested in trying male chastity, I’ll admit my motives were selfish. It was all about me. It was about experiencing something that seemed very erotic to think and fantasize about. I think you can see that in the early posts here on this blog. I remember being so frustrated when LJ wasn’t offering to do the things I expected, like teasing as one example. But, when I think about it today, my paradigm has changed considerably. I’m no longer thinking about what LJ can do for me. Instead, I’m thinking about how I can do more for her; how I can do more to show her my respect, admiration, and devotion. Each day it seems more important to me to please her in every way I can think of given the limitations imposed by our long-distance relationship.

This morning I had to admit to myself for the first time that as much as I love orgasms, I have started to love the feel of LJ’s control even more. In fact, I no longer want her to give me permission to orgasm because she thinks I want to, but only if it pleases her to allow it. Pleasing LJ has slowly turned into my prime directive. I have to admit that while I’ve never considered myself a submissive man, I am starting to feel very submissive toward LJ. One thing worries me about that.

Humility is a good thing. But at least to me, it is only attractive as long as it’s paired with self-confidence and proactivity. But it is starting to seem that being a chaste man tends to make me overly humble and submissive, completely reactive to LJ and her needs. To a degree, I feel I’m even becoming infatuated with LJ to a ridiculous degree.

Can a chaste man become so submissive, so servile, so single-mindedly focused on his keyholder and her happiness, and so docile that she eventually loses interest in him as a man? I’m not certain I want to be transformed into some kind of sycophant by this experience. I have no desire to have my masculinity completely stripped away.

But this fact remains. I have surrendered to LJ and have given her my complete trust. In doing that, I admit I have found true happiness. I have stopped struggling to be her equal and have submitted fully to her female authority.

In some ways, I feel like I’m on a greased ledge with no handholds, slowly sliding toward the drop-off into the abyss of chastity and there is nothing I can to slow it down.

The further I go down the rabbit hole with this, the more time I spend locked for LJ, the more I discover about myself. To be fair, I suppose that is the very reason I wanted to explore this.

male chastity device reviews

Stainless Steel Chastity Device AO86 Review

By Chaste on Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Having worn this device almost continuously for the past two weeks, I’m ready to offer a review.

Intro

I originally ordered the AO86 with a 40mm (1.50 inch) base ring. When it arrived, try as I might, I was unable to get the base ring on. Assuming I just needed something larger, and not knowing at the time there was a place I could source a larger ring, I ordered an entirely different device with a 45mm (1.75 inch) ring, the Jailhouse.

After having problems with the Jailhouse, which you can read about here, in desperation, I turned to the AO86 once again. To my surprise, I was able to get the 40mm ring on without much effort. I attribute it to perhaps a little stretching of my scrotal area during the two days I was attempting to wear the other device. At any rate, by default, the AO86 became my device for my first venture into male chastity.

I found this device on eBay, constructed of surgical grade stainless steel, for around $14. While the 40mm base ring had been bearable, it became clear pretty quickly that it was tighter than it needed to be and was at times a little uncomfortable.

As soon as I received the 45mm stainless steel ring I sourced on the webs, LJ allowed me to replace the 40mm ring. Back in the device with the larger ring, it still feels just as secure but so much more comfortable.

Note this is yet another mass-produced, cheap, made in China cage. I’d found identical devices on two other online sites. So, I would be very surprised if it weren’t possible to find this same device on the websites of other chastity device retailers, pehaps even under a different model name.

Meet the AO86

This is the medical grade stainless steel version from eBay

The AO86 is comprised of only three parts.

1. Base ring.

2. Welded stainless steel cage with solid shower-head style end cap.

3. Cheap brass padlock with keys.

It’s just your basic balls capturing device. There are no adjustments and no sizing beyond your choice of the base ring size which is available in the standard sizes for off the shelf devices─40mm (1.50 in), 45mm (1.75 in), or 50mm (2.00 in)

The cage length is 60mm, with an inside diameter of 35mm (1-3/8 inches).

Fit

I have an average size penis, all around. When flaccid, but not shrunken, it’s generally about 2.5 inches long, so the AO86 is a little over an inch longer than I need. The tip of my penis only touches the end of the end cap when my peen is plumped.

However, I find the diameter of the cage perfect. It’s tight enough; I have to use the stocking method to get my penis deep into the cage. But, it has never felt too constricting. Since I started with chastity, I’ve never had any problem sleeping in it. I think that is largely because the cage is restrictive enough. It doesn’t allow attempted overnight erections to grow large enough to produce any discomfort. If the cage was an inch or so shorter, it would be a perfect fit for me. The takeaway, this device should work for most guys of average size who are only looking for an inexpensive, stainless steel device to get a first taste of being locked.

Stainless steel chastity device AO86

Comfort

First, the AO86 is surprisingly light for a stainless steel device. After two weeks, most of the time, I’m not even aware of it. It stays close to my body as it isn’t so heavy it pulls a lot on the base ring. The gap between the base ring and cage opening is small, about 3/8 inch. I have a scrotum that pulls up tight against the base of my peen and find the gap just about right. So, I expect it would work pretty much for anyone.

The only issue I’ve had is struggling to figure out exactly what size of base ring I really need. I have measured using the suggestions available at Mature Metal, but the results say I need a 50mm (2-inch) ring. Yet, having tried on a 2-inch steel ring, I can get easily get two fingers under it, which makes me feel it is too large. The 40mm ring I’ve worn for almost two weeks has been bearable, but a little too tight. I could barely get a fingertip beneath the ring when it was on. There were no circulatory problems, but I could tell it was tighter than it needed to be. The 45mm ring feels so much better and the security of the device has been unchanged since I changed out the rings. Over the coming days, I’m hopeful the larger ring will make this whole experience a lot less seamless.

Since the cage seems so close to a perfect fit, except for length, it doesn’t surprise me that overall it has been very comfortable to wear. The design pushes your cock downwards a bit, so the chastity bump is not noticeable in any of the casual clothing I usually wear. I’m a runner, and the device isn’t even noticeable when I’m wearing running shorts. I doubt it would even get me dick-checked in a gym though I have my own home gym so I don’t use the public ones.

For such a cheap cage, I’m impressed with the quality of manufacturing. Everything is smooth, with no sharp edges or rough spots anywhere on the device.

Security

I’m very pleased with the feeling of security wearing this standard ball-trapping device. As mentioned, the gap is small, which does a good job of keeping me in the cage. I know a lot of guys say how easy they can escape from any ball trapping device when soaped up in the shower, but looking at this device doesn’t make me confident I could do it. I might with effort be able to withdraw my peen, but I don’t think I’d even try pulling my nuts out. I have a very low pain threshold in that department. Anyway, I’m in chastity because I want to be, so unless it was some kind of ambulance calling emergency, I’m never going to try to escape from a device. So, this one is plenty secure as far as I’m concerned. It definitely isn’t going to just fall off of its own accord as long as you have on a properly sized base ring.

AO86 doing its job

Hygiene

The open design makes keeping things tidy a snap with the AO86. I soap up and then use a handheld shower-head to clean up each morning and haven’t had any foul odors or other nasty hygiene issues. Everything feels clean once I’m done showering. The contents have remained a healthy looking pink and happy since I was locked.

Other impressions

There is only one small thing I don’t like about the AO86 besides the cage length being a bit long for me. I hate the solid shower-head type end cap. I’m sure the length is part of the problem because my tip is usually nowhere near the end of the tube when I need to pee. But, I think the shower-head cap is just a dumb idea. My experience is pee goes about everyplace you don’t want it to unless you’re sitting on a toilet. Even then, you sometimes get random splashes.

Funny thing is I was seriously looking at a Rigid Chastity device I really liked, but it has the same kind of solid end cap, shower-head design. No way I’m buying it now. Instead, I’ve ordered my first custom device from Mature Metal.

Recommendation

I’m just never going to give a full-on “go buy this” recommendation for any mass-produced, made in China device. I may be green, but it didn’t take me long to understand that sucking it up and spending what it takes to get a custom-fitted device is the only way to go if you intend spending a serious amount of time with your junk locked up. That said, if you’re only at the curious stage, you kind of want to see what it is like to have you dick locked in a chastity device, and you don’t want to spend a lot to get the experience, then this device is one I think you should consider.

It’s inexpensive, remarkably comfortable for the price, and so far the only made in China device I have personal experience with where I can say the workmanship far exceeds the price I paid for it. If I hadn’t had the money to order the Mature Metal custom device I’ll be getting in a few weeks, I could be happy wearing the AO86 indefinitely in spite of the two minor things I don’t like about it. My key holder likes it well enough too, except for the length. She tells me almost every day it’s too long, and that she likes seeing a well stuffed cage. I told her I didn’t sign up for small penis humiliation (grin). And, that’s my take.

This review is completely my own personal, candid opinions on a device I own, and that I purchased with my own funds.

submission

Does the desire to wear a male chastity device make you submissive?

By Chaste on Monday, January 6, 2020

Most of what you find to read about male chastity on the webs suggests that any guy who desires to have another person lock his peen in a chastity device and control his orgasms is by definition submissive. But is that true? Let’s talk about that.

As I’ve shared before, I have considerable past experience in the kink world to include BDSM play and actual relationships based upon the dominant and submissive dynamic. From the time I first became involved, my role was always dominant or top, depending on the particular circumstances. My partners were always submissive women. So, does my recent interest and participation in male chastity mean I’ve suddenly become submissive? Was I filling the wrong role all those years? I don’t think so. But, before I explain, let’s take a look at submission.

Let me first offer my perspective on submissive men. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man being submissive or wanting to submit. Given my past experience, I have great respect for submissive people, whether male or female. I have a healthy view of submission. Being submissive does not mean a guy is weak or unmanly. Being submissive doesn’t necessarily mean a guy isn’t a real man. It doesn’t mean he is a doormat or milquetoast. Many submissive people I’ve known over the years are by nature very strong, assertive individuals. They simply enjoy the submissive role, submitting to more dominant people, especially when it comes to erotic play and sex. Submitting is what feels most fulfilling to them.

Also, a submissive guy might have several facets to his submissiveness, perhaps sometimes overlapping with each other, depending on his partner, his mood, and the stage of his development. There is no form of submissiveness that is “better” or more true to the essence of submission than any other. That brings me to the next point. There are many different types of submissive individuals. Qualified people who have studied the psychology of it say there are perhaps seven to nine different types. Simply looking at the extremes of a range of submissive men, we could say at one end of the spectrum, you have the “slave” and, at the opposite end, the “bottom.”

A slave gives himself lock, cock, and barrel to his dominant partner. For our purposes in the discussion of male chastity, the key holder. Beyond being locked in a chastity device, a slave happily submits to being beaten, pierced, even branded. Anything goes. He is owned body and mind. He will accept sleeping on the floor or even in a cage. He will submit to be given to others for use, for example, when cuckoldry is part of the dynamic. This is perhaps the pinnacle of being submissive, whether male or female.

On the other end of the spectrum is the bottom. Not to say a bottom doesn’t authentically submit to his partner, but a bottom submits to obtain the desired outcome. In the context of male chastity, he submits to have the fantasy realized. He desires a strong, dominant partner, usually a woman in my own experience, to lock his peen in a chastity device and control not only his orgasms but even access to his own genitals. Male chastity is just the icing on the cake so to speak, not a vehicle for expressing his highest submissive nature. It’s a transactional arrangement where he gets what he wants, the mind fuck of being locked and denied, in return for the dominant getting what she wants, usually control.

I think the reason so much of what you read about male chastity on the webs seems to insist that all men who want to be kept in chastity are by definition submissive males, is because much of it is written by women who subscribe to the concept of female supremacy within Femdom or FLRs. This I believe, is largely what has perpetuated the myth that all men who want to be kept in chastity, especially by a dominant woman, are submissive by nature. But, I submit it is only a myth. Some chaste males are submissive, some aren’t. It isn’t a requirement that a guy is submissive for him to desire being locked.

The desire by a male to be sexually dominated by a woman in any fashion doesn’t necessarily equate to having some deep-rooted need to express his submissive nature. A man might just as easily only desire to be the bottom during the sexual experience. For some guys then, the desire to be sexually dominated by a woman by having her lock his penis in a cage and assume control over his access to sexual pleasure can be as simple as wanting to fulfill an arousing fantasy by being the bottom during this specific form of sexual play.

A good way to describe this to guys who have never experienced having their penis locked in a device and denied sexual pleasure is to compare it to something someone is absolutely passionate about–say chocolate, for example. If chocolate is your weakness and your ultimate favorite chocolate is locked inside a cage where you can see it, you can smell it, you can almost taste it–you will naturally crave it. And the person who has the key to the cage says they will let you have it, but only if you submit to something they want from you. If you want the chocolate bad enough, if you crave it strongly enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it. Each task you perform at the behest of the key holder only increases the value of the chocolate you can’t have. Each task only heightens your need to please the key holder who controls access to that which you want the most. Naturally, you behave more and more submissively to the key holder. It’s because you become desperate to please to get the chocolate you’re starving for. But, in these circumstances, behaving submissively no matter how authentic, doesn’t necessarily mean a man is submissive by nature or temperament.

Think about all the men you’ve read about who often entertained the supremely arousing fantasy of giving a woman power over their orgasms and feeling the sensations of having a device locked on their cock as a constant reminder that they are not allowed to orgasm. Those who find a woman willing to lock them up achieve such a “needy” state of arousal that they reach a mental state of submission where they will do almost anything to please their key holder. The intensity of the sexual arousal enhances sensations and everything around them takes on new meaning. It creates a depth like nothing else they have ever experienced and can be highly addictive. It may also foster a profound emotional dependency on the person holding the key.

But what happens in many cases when they are allowed release? What happens when they finally get the forbidden chocolate? The submissive feelings evaporate. That’s because, for most men, submission is directly related to their level of sexual arousal.

Once they achieve orgasm, their submission no longer exists. Submission for them is not a state of nature, but a temporary state of mind, a behavior adapted to meet the desired end. Such men then, as much as they love experiencing male chastity, are not submissive.

I’d wager you this. You could take the manliest, dominant man you could find. If you could convince him to allow you to lock a cage on his penis and subject him to a long enough period of sexual teasing and denial, he’d eventually be willing to do almost anything to get out of the cage and experience orgasm. He would behave submissively though not a submissive.

The point of all this is you needn’t be a submissive man where being locked is only another natural outlet to express your submissive nature. I think any guy with the desire to explore male chastity, submissive or not, can find it quite a meaningful and fulfilling experience. In fact, you don’t even have to be kinky as today many vanilla men enjoy being locked in a chastity device too.

male chastity

Chasity boy of little faith

By Chaste on Sunday, January 5, 2020

As she has a way of doing, LJ completely destroyed my “I’m not getting any sexual teasing” complaint from the previous post. Funny thing is I didn’t even bring it up. Sometimes, I think the woman knows men so well she always knows what I’m thinking. Anyway, here is what happened.

After publishing yesterday’s post, LJ and I were chatting. I asked her a question about something that wasn’t even related to the disappointment I have felt over the absence of teasing, and there being nothing sexual as a part of the dynamic thus far. In answering the question I asked, she went on to answer the questions I didn’t.

LJ told me that many of the guys she is the key holder are allowed sexual playtime as rewards when she feels they have earned it. She then told me this. I wasn’t there yet. I was in training, my first introduction to chastity, so my circumstances were very different. Experiencing denial, and learning to cope with the building sexual need and frustration was what I needed first before I’d be ready for teasing and the other sexual stuff. She believes learning to master that first will make me appreciate it all the more when she does allow me orgasms. More importantly, I will then truly understand that she is the only one that allows me pleasure and it never comes easily.

Makes sense. It was reassuring to know I’m not just being locked and forgotten, and that th3 dynamic between us will continue to evolve as I gain experience. And she was right. I am completely new to all this and haven’t earned anything. I just need to be patient and have faith and trust in her judgment. There was one thing about it that wasn’t so comforting.

The reminder I was in training seemed to make one thing clear. I shouldn’t expect any dramatic changes in how things go until I complete the thirty-day training program I signed up for. Like for example, I’m probably not going to get any full-on satisfying orgasms during the next 18 days. I may be lucky to get even another health and welfare ruined one. The jury is still out on the teasing part. But, you know something. Now, I’m content to wait for it because this has only increased my trust in LJ. I have to hand it to her. The woman knows what she is doing.

The very best part of getting answers to unasked questions is that it has removed the doubts I had that LJ and I may not be compatible enough to continue long-term after the 30 days of chastity training are done. Now, more than ever, I believe we are.

pro-domme key holders

Chastity with a long-distance key holder

By Chaste on Saturday, January 4, 2020

If you’re unaware, I am utilizing the key holding services of a woman who lives quite a long distance from me. LJ is a pro-domme who specializes in providing chastity services.

Since I didn’t know anyone locally to act as my key holder when I settled on the idea of exploring male chastity, a key holding service was the only realistic option. I didn’t feel I’d find self-imposed chastity to be particularly compelling. I’ve seen a few other key holding services options on the webs, but they seem far too impersonal. I didn’t find those options any more attractive than going it solo.

I learned of LJ from someone I’d become familiar with in the male chastity scene who recommended her highly. After contacting LJ, she agreed to take me on board for the thirty-day trial we’re now engaged in. If at the end of the thirty days, if we seem a good fit and both agree, there is the option to extend the arrangement indefinitely.

Frankly, I’ve been very pleased with the experience so far. I think it fair to say my expectations have been far and away exceeded on nearly every level. For example, I didn’t expect LJ to be so personable and genuinely concerned about my health and welfare. After all, she provides the same service to lots of other men. I supposed she likely looked at it mostly as a job, and that I’d be just another guy on an assembly line of guys who wanted a woman to lock their dicks in a cage. It hasn’t been that way at all.

In fact, at times, I never even think about the other guys. LJ is great at making you feel you’re the only guy she holds a key for. She has also been far more generous with her time than I ever expected. She has a way about her that makes you feel you’re special to her, even though realistically you probably aren’t. So, it has been all good.

As time has passed, I’ve started to develop a genuine liking for LJ and even an emotional attachment for her after a fashion. No, I’m not developing a romantic crush on her, as I’m well aware of the dynamics and limitations of this partnership we now share. But, I think it fair to say I’m starting to think of LJ as a friend. At least as much as it is possible to form a friendship with someone you only know on the webs.

I’m happy with the circumstances as they are, for the most part. The cost is nominal in my estimation, and the fact is I feel I get far more from the arrangement than I’m paying for the services. That’s not to say there aren’t some real limitations involved in chastity with a long-distance key holder. There are, but maybe not what you might think if you’ve never had an arrangement with a pro-domme.

Ease of cheating

The opportunity to cheat, to have illicit orgasms, is likely the most obvious shortcoming most people would think of when it comes to long-distance chastity enforcement. I’ve read on the webs many accounts by guys about how easily they can remove their ball trapping cages without unlocking them while soaped up in the shower. I suppose it is very possible to do that. In fact I can see how it is easy with certain cages.

Looking at my cage, I can imagine I might be able with enough lubrication to withdraw my penis. But, I’d never try to do it. First, because the fear of not being able to get it back in properly is too great. LJ uses plastic numbered locks as a measure to prevent cheating. If I withdrew my cock to play with it and couldn’t get it back into the cage, I’d be forced to cut the lock. Then I’d have to devise a lie to explain to LJ how I had to remove the cage due to some fictional emergency to conceal what I had done. I’m not going to lie to her. And, I’m resolved not to cheat. A few moments of pleasure is not worth sacrificing my integrity. Of course, it isn’t necessary to remove the cage or pull out of it to cheat.

Lacking onsite monitoring, nothing is stopping me from grabbing a Hitachi Magic Wand and going to town. I could treat myself to orgasms as often as I felt the need or wanted one. The lock would remain intact, and LJ would be none the wiser. But, again, I’m not tempted to cheat by any means.

No one tricked or persuaded me to try chastity. It was my idea. I sought LJ out to help me explore it. If I cheated, I’d not only be cheating LJ by not living up to our agreement, I’d be denying myself of the experience I want. So, there is no real motivation to cheat. I want to learn what chastity is really like. Actually, the plastic locks aren’t even necessary in my case. Even with the cage padlocked and an emergency key in my possession, I certain I’d never unlock to cheat.

Yes, it is possible to cheat when doing chastity with long-distance enforcement. But, even if LJ and I lived together, she wouldn’t be able to monitor me 24/7. If I wanted to cheat, I could find the opportunity to do it. For those reasons, I don’t consider the ease of cheating a real limitation of long-distance key holding.

Lack of physical contact

The inability to physically pleasure your key holder; whether it be doing domestic chores, giving her massages, or servicing her sexual needs is a real negative to having a long-distance key holder. None of that is available. In a real sense I feel slogging through the attendant sexual frustration of denial would be a lot easier if I was able to at least find some pleasure in giving pleasure to LJ. For that reason alone, I do sometimes wish I had a local partner enforcing my chastity.

I’m trying to substitute for that by thinking of imaginative ways to show LJ my respect, admiration, and appreciation for all she does for me. It has already become very important to me to please her. While doing unexpected nice things for her that I come up with isn’t a perfect substitute, it does feel really good when she notices and lets me know I’ve pleased her with my efforts.

Absence of teasing

LJ never shares her plans for me in advance. So, I can’t say with certainty whether sexual teasing is simply something she has no interest in providing or whether she feels I’m too new at all this to need it as this stage. But for whatever reason, there has been no teasing or sexual play at all thus far. I readily admit that has been a disappointment.

Coming from a background in kink, I’ve always assumed that male chastity was just a sub-genre of D/s orgasm control/denial play. So, I came to chastity fully expecting my key holder would subject me to sexual teasing, maybe even extreme teasing that would leave me a sexually frustrated mess. That was part of what I hoped to explore during this chastity experience. So, it has been a bit disheartening that hasn’t been a part of my experience.

Sure, the denial alone has produced a high level of sexual arousal and frustration. But nothing I’m sure that compares with what I’d feel if subjected to regular sexual teasing. And, it’s perfectly possible to tease someone at a distance. I’ve done it myself online to girls who were into orgasm control when I was active in the kink scene. Something as simple as being told to remove the cage and perform edges would definitely have a huge effect. But, alas, to date LJ hasn’t offered even that.

I’m envious of other guys in chastity I read about whose key holding wife or partner regularly teases them in different ways to make them even hornier and more aware of their sexual denial. So it makes me curious to see whether LJ ever incorporates teasing into this before our final twenty days are up. If not, I’m definitely going to voice my concerns about the lack of teasing with her before agreeing to extend our arrangement. If it turns out teasing simply doesn’t interest her or isn’t part of her philosophy, that might mean we aren’t fundamentally compatible.

Of course, I don’t know how many guys LJ holds the keys for. From some comments she has made, I’d guess there are many. Perhaps even if she was interested in teasing, maybe it could be too time consuming to tease all the guys she has locked. Maybe it is something she reserves only for her long-term boys, or a select few of those. At any rate, it’s been dissatisfying that teasing hasn’t been a part of the experience.

Do you think it selfish of me to want the sexual teasing? Maybe. I’m not sure. But, it seems being sexually teased is an integral part of the chastity fantasy that many guys want realized. When absent, it’s noticeable. In fact, to me in almost feels like being locked and then forgotten. You start to ask yourself why you’re even putting yourself through it.

Strict denial alone isn’t really what I want. I’m not sure I could even deal with that over an extended period of time. I love the uncertainty about when or if I’ll be unlocked and allowed sexual release. But, I need to know that there at least exists a chance it’s going to happen. And, I want the teasing to make the feelings of sexual need even more urgent and profound. That’s what I was looking for when I decided to take this journey.

Certainly, I don’t feel any entitlement to insist LJ provide me with sexual teasing, especially if it simply isn’t something she is interested in offering. I haven’t any right to demand anything from her. Yet I see nothing wrong in desiring it. And, if that isn’t going to be a part of the dynamic with LJ going forward, then that probably means I’ll have to seek out a different key holder I have more compatible interests with.

In conclusion, the lack of physical contact is a limitation in having a long-distance key holder. But, I submit the ease of cheating doesn’t have to be a drawback, and the absence of sexual teasing shouldn’t be. That piece is too easy to incorporate by a key holder willing to provide it. It’s as simple as telling you to unlock and to masturbate until you edge some set number of times, or instructions to look at porn, or read some erotica. It doesn’t even require any dedicated involvement on the part of the key holder, much less the investment of any time beyond a few brief moments to give simple instructions.

Yes, I could look at porn or read erotica on my own. LJ hasn’t prohibited it. But, doing that would seem about the same as self-imposed chastity which is what I already know I don’t want.

Overall, even with the limitations, I’ve had a great experience exploring chastity with a long-distance key holder. If the lack of teasing bit could be resolved, I think it would suit me perfectly. I might not even have an interest in ever looking at another option.

If you consider going the pro-domme route, just make certain you take the time to learn enough about a prospective pro-domme key holder to feel certain she knows what she is doing. In my case, LJ has extensive knowledge and experience with key holding specifically, and male chastity in general. I’ve asked her heaps of questions from all over the show, and she always has the right answers. I was very lucky to connect with someone like her. You likely can find thousands of women on the webs offering long-distance key holding, but I’m confident you won’t find many like LJ. It’s easy to tell pretty quickly that she offers key holding services because she is personally into it, not just to make money off guys desperate to have a hot fantasy made real.

male chastity

Imperfect release

By Chaste on Friday, January 3, 2020

If you read yesterday’s post, I suppose you think I went on about about the unhappy prospect of permanent denial a little more than necessary. If so, perhaps you’re right since yesterday afternoon LJ informed me it was time for my first release.

First, she cautioned the orgasm I’d receive out of her munificence was not for my pleasure. It was only to flush the plumbing system of pent up semen for benefit of health and welfare.

Frankly, I was feeling so desperate, I was happy to get an orgasm on any grounds. But, as LJ laid out the terms of the impending seminal discharge in her usual direct business-like fashion, suddenly, it sounded so absolutely clinical and bleak.

After removing the cage on her instructions, I was required to undress and to adopt a specific posture for masturbation. I was then given a ridiculously short time to masturbate and achieve the expected therapeutic orgasm. Of course, I was instructed in no uncertain terms to remove my hand at the very moment climax was imminent, to ruin it by allowing the orgasm to dribble away.

As I feared, the ridiculously short time allowance proved insufficient to achieve orgasm. I was then required to wait a preposterously long period before being permitted a second attempt. Fortunately, the stimulation during the first attempt along with the long pause had made me even more outrageously horny. Suffice to say, I achieved my objective with time to spare on the second crack at it.

I’m not a complete novice to “ruined” orgasms. I once had a kinky girlfriend subject me to one for “fun” while I was bound to a bed and in no position to object. That was quite a long time ago. I’d forgotten just what an act of cruelty a ruined orgasm truly is.

The result of the therapeutic orgasm was I felt a slight bit of relief from the heaviness in my balls, and it seemed to take a little of the edge off of the desperation to come I’d endured the past many days. But, it was certainly not the mind-blowing, mother of all orgasms I’d been dreaming of for days on end. I remained horny as fuck, which is what LJ intended. But, on a positive note, I did not experience the emotional drop or endorphins crash I’ve read that many chaste men suffer when allowed release.

The final humiliation was when LJ ordered me to consume my emissions. That is not something I’ve ever done. It’s not something I’ve ever even thought of doing. Call me weird, but I’ve never been the slightest bit curious about what semen tastes like, mine or anyone’s. Frankly, until yesterday afternoon, I’d have doubted anyone could have ever convinced me to taste it, much less eat it. But, there I was, doing it at the behest of a woman I hardly know. But, after considering the terrible sway and power the woman wields over me; in the end, I thought it best not to test her patience.

To make matters worse, after being denied orgasms for nine days, the longest period of chasteness I’ve ever been subjected to, the volume of ejaculate was at least twice the norm for me. That didn’t make the task any easier.

Once I swallowed the final indignity, quite literally, the health and welfare exercise was concluded. After giving the cage a proper cleaning and showering, I went back into the cage and was locked.

Ominously, LJ warned releases would be most infrequent and that I shouldn’t count on the next one coming anywhere near as quickly as she had so generously allowed the first. Not something I really wanted to hear.

The most positive thing about this experience thus far is at least she hasn’t subjected me to any cruel sexual teasing. While I had assumed at the beginning teasing was part of the whole chastity thing, it hasn’t been that way at all. I suppose I should count my blessings, as I shudder to think about what condition that might leave me in. Probably curled into a fetal ball on the floor in a catatonic state from sexual frustration overload. I wonder if I’ll ever learn to endure this, much less embrace it.

permanent chastity

The unthinkable

By Chaste on Thursday, January 2, 2020

I’ve read everything I can find on the experiences of other guys who live the chastity lifestyle. Being new to it, I suppose I feel it will help me to learn things like how to deal with the denial and sexual frustration, what physical and mental changes I can expect from being kept in chastity, and how others relate to their key holders.

One resource I turn to again and again is the Denying Thumper blog. The reason I like it so much is Thumper is so open and honest and can clearly explain his experiences so anyone can understand. I’ve learned more from him about chastity than any other person.

It’s only been a short time that I’ve been locked and denied in comparison to guys like Thumper, who’ve been locked for many years. I only passed the actual 72-hour mark of being locked for the first time yesterday morning. Now I’m steaming toward my first 96-hours locked and beyond unless LJ tells me to remove the cage at some point.

Overall it’s going on nine days since I’ve been allowed to touch my dick or have an orgasm. Again, not a long time in comparison to a lot of other guys. I get it. Still, it’s a long time for me. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without it since I first learned about masturbation when I was a kid.

Anyway, this all got me to thinking about something this morning. Many of the stories I’ve read from other guys say their key holders make them go for weeks or months locked without release. Except for brief minutes to clean up periodically, their dicks remain locked in a cage. But, eventually, most do get a release.

Many guys even have any idea when their next release will happen, even if the date is weeks or months away. At least they can look forward to it. So far, I haven’t really had any of that with LJ.

Once I started sleeping with the cage on, she has only released me for one night. I had to remove the cage, was allowed to sleep without it one night, but had to put it right back on the next morning. The prohibition about touching my penis for pleasure and masturbating remained in effect. It wasn’t a release, just a short time out of the cage. If I couldn’t at least play with it anyway, I’d rather have remained in the cage. But of course, as it should be, LJ’s decisions don’t rely on what I feel would suit me better.

We haven’t had any discussions about when I might expect to be allowed an orgasm. Frankly, sex hasn’t been a part of my first chastity experience in any form at all so far. Having only just met LJ, I truly have no way to guess how long she expects me to remain in denial. On the one hand, the uncertainty of it all is pretty hot. I admit a part of me finds it arousing as hell. On the other hand, it’s more than a little terrifying.

If I knew how long it would be until I would be allowed to orgasm, at least I’d have a goal. I could spend the intervening time counting the days and hours and minutes, hoping I wouldn’t go crazy before reaching the deadline. Instead, I feel I’m more in a situation where I’m locked indefinitely. Of course, since it is indefinite, there is the hope I might be released and allowed an orgasm at any time. But, there is also the awful prospect that this might go on and on, an orgasm-free future stretching to infinity.

Suppose that, instead of chastity and denial lasting for a few weeks, or a month, or even a little more (hard enough for me, I think), just suppose LJ has in mind for it to last longer. Much, much longer. Suppose she intends it to last for several months. That would be a real test of my obedience. That would be a real test of my mettle.

In such a case, I can imagine myself whining and begging after a while, making heartfelt pleas for mercy, lifting up my anguished cries of frustration, even feeling angry at the unfairness of it all. But, if I have submissive leanings and chastity and denial is something I respond to, then even what might seem to be a draconian regimen now might be bearable with enough training.

But, now, let’s think about the unthinkable. What I’ve been talking about up till now is not unimaginable, even though I’m uncertain I’d volunteer for anything as severe as a period of denial lasting several months. But, suppose instead of being locked with a fixed-term embargo on orgasms, that LJ decrees a life sentence? Suppose she says to me, you are never going to come again? You will get close to it. You will never stop wanting it, but orgasm will always be denied. Without exception. Without time off for good behavior. Without the prospect of release. What if she says to me, this is what I want, and I think, however much you resist, you want and need it too. Ultimately you will thank me after you have stopped hating me.

Is this, do you think, the way that madness lies? Could only a lunatic impose such complete and utter control? And would only a lunatic accept it?

I’ll say this. It would certainly be a game-changer. No, if I’m a good boy, will you unlock me and let me cum. No more counting down the days until a release, dreaming of the mother of all orgasms. Just an endless future with no orgasms stretching out into eternity.

Of course, there might be some pleasure. Perhaps LJ would unlock me from time to time and allow me to masturbate, just as long as she trusted me to stop before it was too late. There would be other pleasures too. The pleasure of suffering for her, feeling every day that deep-down ache in my loins from the continual sexual frustration. There would be the pleasure of knowing I pleased LJ with my unwavering obedience to her decree. That purest pleasure of all, the pleasure of knowing I was doing her will. That I was making this supreme sacrifice for her. The renunciation of that moment of jouissance, the spasm of ecstasy. I’d become like a monk, one of the brothers of submission, dedicating myself to service, denying myself the relief of my desires in perpetuity.

Thinking about all this, I begin to wonder if being under sentence of permanent chastity and orgasm denial would give one a whole new perspective on physical pleasure and submission. You wouldn’t be quite the same person, would you? I suspect it would affect every aspect of your sexuality, which would no longer be goal-oriented (when is my next release? when can I come again? etc. etc.). Instead, it would be about a particular state of mind, almost what the religious call a state of grace. What that would feel like, I’m not quite sure.

Even though the idea of perpetual chastity and permanent embargo of orgasms might intrigue, even sound massively arousing, I’m not sure I’m sold on the idea of it. As much as I love being locked for LJ, as much as I love the idea that my penis is no longer mine, but hers to do with as she sees fit. The prospect of what I’ve contemplated here is just too frightening to think about. Don’t you think it’s unthinkable?

male chastity

Fellowship of the Base Ring

By Chaste on Tuesday, December 31, 2019

As I looked at the cage this morning, especially the circle of hard steel surrounding my balls and shaft, I found myself feeling a bit like Frodo Baggins.

“I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”

Well, I wish it only a little.

I’ve been horny as fuck for the past two days. My balls feel heavy and full. I’m desperate to come. Penis-centric thinking has returned with a vengeance.

Maybe, just maybe, I was attracted to chastity, believing it was about being locked until I was as horny as possible, followed by eventual release and a mind-blowing orgasm. Maybe it was all about having some really hot fantasies turned into reality. Slowly but surely, I’m beginning to realize that kind of mindset is the very antithesis of what male chastity is about. It’s not about us. It’s about our keyholders.

When I woke up this morning, I’d completed my second forty-eight consecutive hours locked. Today begins the second week with LJ. I don’t know what she has planned for me, but last night she made a cryptic comment that leads me to believe I may be experiencing something new today. What I haven’t a clue.

We had a nice long chat last evening before bed, a talk that had little to do with chastity and cock cages. It was more a conversation about normal, everyday things of life. Somehow, it made me feel closer to her like we are truly beginning to bond as two human beings. I like that feeling. I like the feeling of attraction for LJ that is beginning.

Being completely new to chastity, I didn’t really know what this would be like. I’m sure I thought there would be a lot of teasing to go along with the denial. But, at least so far, there hasn’t been any teasing at all.

During the times I’ve been unlocked, I’ve only been prohibited from playing with or even touching my dick beyond what is necessary for washing and showering. There have been no requirements to edge, no instructions to torment me with a vibrator or other toys. There has just been the experience of being locked and denied. LJ always gives me a small assignment to perform each morning, but never anything sexual. The assignments seemed aimed at reminding me I’m locked for LJ, that my penis is now her property, and that it gives her pleasure to have that control.

The thing is, I’m okay with all of it. I’m okay with being taught that I’ve spent a lifetime thinking with my penis, and it’s time to rewire the circuits in the reptilian part of my brain produced over millions of years of evolution. Sure, a part of me wishes LJ would unlock me and allow me to at least enjoy a full-blown erection even if she didn’t permit me to come. But, there is another part growing inside me that doesn’t want to be unlocked and given release.

As good as an orgasm would feel, and I have no doubt it would feel amazing, the satisfaction would be fleeting. A part of me would feel guilty for being selfish instead of focusing on LJ and what gives her pleasure. Perhaps I should instead be grateful that LJ hasn’t been subjecting me to intense teasing, which would only make me hornier than I already am and make me suffer all the more.

On another note regarding the ring, I actually found a vendor I can source a second base ring from for the device I’m currently wearing. It’s a cheap, made in China device that came with only one ring. It’s the 40mm ring I couldn’t get on when I first tried but managed to squeeze into when The Jailhouse device failed.

The 40mm ring has worked, but it’s a little tighter than it needs to be. I can get the tip of a finger between the ring and the skin, barely. I haven’t had any temperature or color issues. I just think a 45mm ring would be more comfortable. So, I ordered one.

After another inspection and thinking about it, I don’t think The Jailhouse failed to keep my balls trapped so much because of the ring size. I think it had more to do with the gap between the ring and cage being too wide. The fact the ring was multi-part and had some play in it didn’t help matters either.
I’m looking forward to getting the 45mm ring and seeing if it feels a bit more comfortable. But, it won’t arrive until mid-January. I’ll have to make do with the 40mm ring a couple more weeks. I end today with another quote from the Fellowship of the Ring.

“Embrace the power of the ring or embrace your own destruction!”

That’s more like it. The attitude I need to continue to cultivate.

time locked in chastity

72 hours in chastity update

By Chaste on Sunday, December 29, 2019

Time for my 72 hours in chastity update. As of this morning, I’ve passed the mark. While a paltry length of time for those who have been living the chastity lifestyle for years, it feels like a significant milestone for me as a novice. I wish I could say I’ve been locked for the entire 72 hours, but LJ made me remove the device before bed last night. I’d only reached the sixty-hour mark by then.

Frankly, I found it soul-crushingly disappointing to be made to remove the chastity device last night. But, of course, I’ve already learned my feelings in the matter are totally irrelevant, as it should be.

The device had become so comfortable, it felt weird having it off. And worst, being unlocked did not come with any freedom to masturbate or orgasm. I spent a fairly miserable night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. It was the kind of night I’d expected the first night I slept locked, which turned out to be amazingly restful instead.

My marching orders from LJ were to shower and lock up first thing this morning. That proved a bit problematic. After showering, I waited a while before putting the thoroughly cleaned device back on to give things time for proper air drying. Then I attempted to put the 40mm base ring back on. My balls weren’t having any of it.

Overnight had been more than enough time for my nicely stretched scrotum to return to its normal excessively tight state. It took more than an hour before I finally managed to coax my nuts back into the damn ring. I was thoroughly frustrated, and I admit more than a little annoyed at having to deal with it when there hadn’t been any compelling reason to have taken the cage off last night anyway.

This morning, I told LJ the 40mm base ring must be a little too small after all since it shouldn’t have been that difficult to get back on. I pleaded with her to allow me to order a custom-fitted cage with the correct size base ring. Well, I pleaded as best I could without risking making her feel I was overstepping and triggering a rebuke. She was unmoved.

LJ allowed the 40mm base ring might be a bit too small, pointing out she had been skeptical about it being the right size all long. But, she still firmly insisted it wasn’t yet time to order a custom-fitted device. I have no choice but to accept her decision to wait. Still, when a 6-8 week wait seems the norm with custom chastity device makers, I just don’t get why we’re waiting to order one.

I have my measurements now, and the base ring measurements show I need a ring size a little between 1.50 and 1.75 inches, which I could easily get from a custom manufacturer. I just don’t see any good reason to delay ordering it. If we ordered a custom device today, my 30-day trial period with LJ would already be up before it arrived. That means I’m stuck with wearing a less than an optimum device for weeks longer. That just seems totally unnecessary.

The moral of this story seems to make sure you get a properly fitted device you’re happy with before you start looking for a keyholder. Once you have a KH, you won’t have much if any input on what your dick is locked in.

As I write this, I am again locked. The first hours after putting the device back on this morning were miserable, the most uncomfortable hours I’ve yet experienced. Things are now finally stretching out again and the major discomfort seems to be behind me. I’m sure someday I’ll be able to look back on this and laugh. Today is not that day.

Not sure what LJ has planned for me next. I haven’t been able to suss out her planned schedule. There hasn’t been any discernible pattern. I was totally surprised when she told me to unlock before bed last night. Now I don’t have a clue how many days I’ll stay locked this time around.

Whatever happens, I remain determined to continue chasing the chastity rabbit down the hole without looking back.