Cut to the Chaste

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 5: Your First Time

By Chaste on Thursday, October 5, 2023

It’s the fifth day of Locktober 2023. I’m hanging in there and hope you are too. Today’s 31 Days of Chastity Day 5 topic concerns my first time locked in a chastity device.

What was your first time in Chastity like? How long were you locked? What did it feel like and what happened on your release?

As I shared in yesterday’s post, I engaged a pro keyholder for my first chastity experience and she led me through a 30 day “Chastity Bootcamp.” I had already ordered my first chastity device but hadn’t yet received it when I reached out to her and we made our agreement. The very day the device showed up in my mailbox, per our arrangement, I texted her to let her know I was ready to start.

For those who are curious which device I wore for the first time, you can see it by clicking on the review I posted on the Jailhouse. When I bought the device, you can believe I knew close to absolutely nothing about chastity devices. I chose it because I was familiar with CB devices and essentially the Jailhouse is a stainless steel copy of the CB-6000 with the split base ring, locking pin, and spacers. This turned out to be a horrible device because unlike the plastic CB-6000, it came with only a one size fits all locking pin and a single pair of spacers instead of a variety of those parts designed to give the wearer something close to a customized fit. Frankly, my first time wearing a chastity device turned out to be a comedy of errors.

As soon as I let my keyholder know I had the device in hand, she told me to put it on and to send her a photo. I found it easy enough to put on, thanks to the split ring, and after locking the padlock supplied with it, I took the requested photo with my phone and sent it at around three in the afternoon. As soon as my keyholder saw the photo, she texted me and said she doubted the device would work, enumerating her reasons. She could tell by the photo that it didn’t fit me well. But she told me to wear it the rest of the afternoon and then to remove before I went to bed.

Less than fifteen minutes after I put the device on, my left testicle popped out of the base ring. Since I wasn’t yet using the plastic numbered locks that my keyholder would eventually have me use, I unlocked the device, removed it, put it back on and relocked. That time it took about twenty minutes before my testicle popped out again. I couldn’t understand why that was happening, so I contacted my keyholder again. She told me I needed to try different pins and spacers until I got a fit that didn’t allow my testicle to pop out of the base ring. When I told her the device came with only one pin and one pair of spacers, she told me the device definitely would not work because the gap was too large for me and I had no way to correct it.

No, I did not know what “the gap” was, but felt satisfied she knew what she was talking about and we both agreed I needed to find and order a different device. I chose one, a simpler stainless steel device available on Amazon, mostly because I knew it would arrive in two days and I was eager to get started. Until the new device arrived, we made do with the crap jailhouse and I lost count of how many times I had to remove it and put it back on when my testicle escaped again and again. She actually thought it was all quite funny, but it didn’t feel that way to me and I was so embarrassed by having chose such an awful device.

To my relief, the new device, another cheap made in China stainless steel device called the AO86, arrived two days later. Not understanding what “the gap” was and unwilling to ask my keyholder to explain because I already felt stupid enough, I had decided the problem had been that the Jailhouse base ring was too large for me even though the size I had ordered with it agreed with the measurements I had taken. So, without consulting my keyholder, I ordered the AO86 with a base ring that was 5mm smaller in diameter than that supplied with the Jailhouse. Another rookie error. But at least when I put the device on, my testicles remained trapped. So, I could wear the device for the periods of time my keyholder wanted, but the base ring was too small and produced a lot of discomfort I shouldn’t have had to endure.

I was excited about beginning chastity, but frankly, because of the discomfort, I was always happy to take it off before going to bed each night for the first few days. My keyholder wouldn’t let me sleep in it until she felt certain I wasn’t having any impaired circulation issues and being very knowledgeable and experienced knew my body needed time to acclimate to having a hunk of stainless steel locked on my genitals before I could wear it for long periods without having chafing and soreness. Finally, on the fifth day, she told me to sleep wearing it for the first time and I felt overjoyed.

Yes, I had the same experience as most every other guy who has locked on a chastity device for the first time, with uncomfortable attempted erections waking me multiple times during the night. I didn’t know it then, but the inside diameter and length of the cage was bigger and longer than my flaccid size, and that made the nocturnal erections (with ample space to grow) worse because the cage didn’t immediately suppress them. That lasted for about three nights, and then either the nocturnal erections stopped or else stopped waking me.

I can’t recall for sure how many continuous days she had me wearing the device 24/7, but I know sometime during the second week, she made me remove it before bedtime one night to allow for normal nocturnal erections. Once I put the device back on the next day, it was on baby and I wore it 24/7 for the rest of that first month except for the two releases my keyholder gave me. I stayed locked for eight days in a row before the first release. My keyholder said, “we need to check the plumbing and make sure everything is still working as it is supposed to.” She told me to unlock and to masturbate until I edged, then to continue stroking, just until the moment I felt myself slipping over the edge and passing the point of no return where orgasm was inevitable. When I reached that point, she told me to stop stroking, remove my hand, and to “ruin” the orgasm.

After eight days locked, I didn’t need to coax an erection. Things were already firming up nicely by the time I got the cage and base ring off. I had experienced ruined orgasms before, so I already knew how it was done. I followed my keyholder’s instructions. Once I felt myself approaching and slipping past the edge, I stopped the stimulation and the semen dribbled out pathetically. Satisfied that “the plumbing” still worked, she gave me twenty minutes to shower and clean the cage and then I relocked, this time with a plastic numbered lock.

After relocking, I furnished daily proof of lock photos, but my keyholder didn’t supply any teasing. It was only straight denial as she focused only on getting me accustomed to wearing the device 24/7. I didn’t find it difficult since I was so stoked about experiencing chastity for the first time under the supervision of a dominant woman.

Before the end of of the month-long boot camp, at my request, we had already agreed to her remaining my keyholder indefinitely, so I stayed locked for 18 days after the ruined orgasm until she gave me the next release, this time a full orgasm. I was eager for the orgasm, but to my surprise afterward, I felt empty and depressed. I even felt I had failed her by having the orgasm and just felt generally weird about it. She was terrific with aftercare and shepherded me through those unexpected and intense feelings, which she told me were all very normal for someone experiencing a lengthy period of orgasm denial for the first time.

And that’s how my first time in chastity went, how long I remained locked, and what happened on my release. I continued with my first keyholder through the end of the second month, through the third month, and into the fourth month. By then, she had kept me locked for almost sixty days without a release. She was teasing me regularly by then, which made the denial far more difficult to cope with. On my sixtieth day of captivity, I had had enough. She was a terrific keyholder, and I really liked her, but she had overestimated my readiness for permanent chastity. I texted her I was quitting, cancelled our agreement, unlocked, and had a good wank. And that time, I felt only relief, no depression.

More than once, I’ve regretted quitting and losing a really wonderful, experienced keyholder. Frankly, I never had another keyholder who came close to my first one until I met Lucie. I feel pretty sure Lucie has permanent chastity in mind too, even though we haven’t discussed it. But that’s okay because I’m a different man now with a lot more experience and I believe I’m ready for permanent now. Especially with the amazing woman who now controls the keys.

If you’re enjoying the 31 Days of Chastity Meme series, be sure to check in tomorrow for Day 6, when our topic will be fantasies. I will respond to this prompt:

Describe your weirdest/most interesting Chastity fantasy.

Until then, stay strong. Here on this fifth day of Locktober, things should have begun to feel a little easier. And by this time next week, those who persevere should find themselves squarely in the “Goldilocks” phase when they will be well on their way toward completing a successful Locktober 2023.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chastity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4: Partners

By Chaste on Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Here on the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4, the discussion centers on partners.

Did you ask a partner to lock you in chastity, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

I edited Tickleberry’s original question for today to fit my circumstances. They aimed the original more at those whose wife or other partner acts as keyholder. If you’ve followed this blog at all, then you know I have only had professional keyholders, including the one I have now, my long distance Domme Lucie. So, obviously, I asked all of them to lock me and, in return, gave them a financial tribute to enforce my chastity. That’s a fair arrangement, if you ask me, and the arrangement that works best for me since I’m not in a relationship and am not looking to get into one.

Lucie is unique. In the past, I have engaged a pro keyholder whenever I felt the need for a break from self-locking. Except for my very first keyholder and Lucie, those were only one-month commitments, and afterwards I returned to self-locking. That’s what I had in mind when I first applied to Lucie for keyholding services. But my relationship with her has been so amazing I haven’t wanted to end it. The chemistry between us only grows stronger, and I’m not sure I ever want to end it. On 9 October, I will have been with Lucie for five months.

Our relationship has changed a lot since my first time with Lucie. That’s because we have become well-acquainted and she knows me much better now, what things turn me on and make me feel submissive and which ones do little of either. While she is still very strict, which I love, she isn’t as mean to me as she was at the start.

We have a lot of kinks in common, so most things Lucie tasks me to do are things I enjoy as much as she does. I’ve even come to like some things Lucie enjoys I wasn’t particularly crazy about at first, because it has become so important to me to please her. Lucie and I understand each other and respect each other’s boundaries. She was very clear at the beginning our arrangement wasn’t a boyfriend-girlfriend thing and that was great for me because I wasn’t looking for that. Not to mention we live on different continents.

Having had more than a few unpleasant experiences with guys she played with becoming infatuated with her, Lucie kept things strictly professional at the beginning. But now that she has gotten to know me better and we’ve built trust, she treats me more like a friend. Not to say she has relaxed any of the boundaries that exist naturally between a Domme and her sub. And I wouldn’t want her to do that.

Compared to the other professionals I’ve played with, the tributes Lucie asks for are so minimal. Especially since she also puts so much more time and effort into our dynamic than any previous keyholder that I’ve had ever did. In fact, she often extends our play far beyond when it has been due to end. For example, our session (for lack of a better term) before Locktober was supposed to last for one month. Instead, Lucie kept extending it until eleven weeks had passed by the time September ended and Locktober began. Even though I twice offered to tribute her for the extra time, she wouldn’t allow it, saying she enjoyed playing with me and said, “naturally you pay less.” I feel a little conflicted about it, honestly. Yes, I appreciate her generosity, but I know the time and attention Lucie devotes to me is time and attention someone else could pay for. But it’s her decision. I’ve strayed from the topic at hand, so let’s get back to it.

While I haven’t had the experience that many guys have had, having to figure out some way to bring up their desire to a wife or other partner, I did have a conversation with Lucie at the beginning during which I’ll bet I felt just as nervous. Ours took place on a video call and I had to explain why I felt an attraction to chastity, share what other kinks I was interested in and enjoyed, and list my hard limits. Lucie listened intently and asked questions about the things she wanted to know more about.

Not that every guy would feel this way, but I found it far more embarrassing spilling all my kinky secrets face-to-face to a perfect stranger, a drop-dead gorgeous stranger at that, than I would have had discussing it with someone I’d seen naked and had sex with. But Lucie was great about it, although she now uses everything I told her against me when teasing me. But the discussion was important because Lucie needed to know what type of submissive I was.

There are many types of submissive men, ranging from rather mild to rather extreme. While the stereotypical view of submissive men are that they are weak and unmanly, even effeminate, it takes strength and courage to give up control and submit to another person. And Lucie understands that. She also knows not all submissive men want to wear women’s clothes or to become a sissy. Not judging any of that, but I’m not that type of submissive guy. While I desire to put my dominant’s desires and pleasure before mine, I prefer to remain in my natural masculine role. Yes, Lucie sometimes uses that against me too for laughs, but she never tries to emasculate me. Part of it is she knows what works and what doesn’t in leading me where she wants to take me. But I think Lucie prefers masculine men because she finds persuading them to submit to her far more satisfying.

That wraps the discussion for this fourth day of the 31 Days of Chastity Meme on this fourth day of Locktober 2023. Hope you will return tomorrow when I’ll share about my first time locked in chastity in response to these questions:

What was your first time in Chastity like? How long were you locked? What did it feel like and what happened on your release?

31 Days in Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chastity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Welcome to the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 3, and to the third day of Locktober 2023. Today I will share about the genesis of my interest and involvement in chastity.

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

I was aware of chastity devices for years before buying my first one. While I’m unsure how many years, I recall seeing the CB-2000 chastity device first showing up on sex toy retailer websites, and the company who made it has been in business for almost twenty-five years. Already involved in BDSM back then, I knew about orgasm control and denial, but hadn’t experienced it. So, chastity devices, while I found them curious, just weren’t something I had any great interesting in trying. I had divorced by then and having some of the best sex of my adult life. Trading that for wearing a plastic tube locked on my penis that would prevent me from having sex just wasn’t something that sparked any interest.

Shortly after I discovered chastity devices, I found Thumper’s blog, Denying Thumper, maybe about a year after he started the blog. I believe he started with the CB-2000, but since I’m too lazy to research it and relying on my memory, I could be wrong about that. Anyway, I followed the blog pretty regularly over the years and while I found Thumper’s experiences hugely interesting, it never motivated me to try wearing a chastity device since, well, I was having the best sex of my life back then, remember? And with a lot of different attractive women.

It’s not that I was a hedonist. But after spending more than a decade married to a woman who didn’t enjoy sex much and didn’t much care how much I enjoyed it, I was like a kid in a candy store. Eventually, the novelty of discovering for the first time that women could actually orgasm, some of them multiple times, during PIV sex, wore off. I began to settle down and soon confined my sexual experiences to long-term relationships. I had a series of those over the years. But mostly because I wasn’t looking to get married again, they all fizzled after a few years, and I would be on to the next relationship. I’ve actually always preferred relationships to casual sex because I just have to have feelings of affection for a woman at least on some level to desire having sex with her. I’m more a love than lust kind of guy.

Eventually, I met the woman who I felt certain was “the one.” She suited me in every way and we had a fantastic relationship. Until we didn’t. I was even coming around to the idea of trying marriage again and we had discussed it sometimes. But being quite a few years younger than me, she decided one day that she wasn’t ready to settle down and I experienced the most painful end of a relationship in my life. I had two more relationships with wonderful women after that, but after “the one” I knew I just had nothing left to give to another woman. It was then that my curiosity about chastity resurfaced.

I was still following Thumper’s blog and one day I just thought, why not try chastity and see what it’s all about? So, I ordered my first chastity device. That was four years ago, and by then there were heaps of new, inexpensive off-the-shelf devices available. You could even buy them on Amazon. Having no experience with wearing a device, I knew immediately I needed some direction, so I searched for and found my very first online keyholder. I never considered anything but online because I had no interest in getting into another relationship at that time and didn’t know that I’d ever want another relationship. And I found the perfect online keyholder, the woman I called Lady Jayne when I first started this blog.

Jayne was perfect for me because she was extremely knowledgeable about chastity devices and chastity training. She put me through a thirty-day “bootcamp” and by the end of it I was wearing a device 24/7. Of course, the first device I bought, and that we started with was horrific and she helped me find one that worked. We developed chemistry during that first thirty days and she continued as my keyholder and helped me choose my first Mature Metal custom-fitted device. And that’s how I got hooked on chastity. It has become such an important part of my life I can’t even imagine my life without it now.

Almost everyone discovers at some point a sexual fetish that turns them on. Some people discover their fetishes at a young age, while others do not know they are there until presented with a catalyst, something that makes them realize some specific thing or act arouses them. I suppose in the beginning, chastity devices were simply a fetish for me I wanted to explore. But now that chastity, especially chastity enforced by a dominant woman, means a great deal more to me than the satisfaction of a sexual fetish.

The benefit of hindsight helps me to understand, at least to some extent, other kink experiences that helped drive my interest in chastity. Since the days when I was actively involved in my then local kink community, I have known that I felt a keen attraction to dominant women. Whether I didn’t know it or only suppressed it for years, my first keyholder, and especially Lucie, made me understand and acknowledge the submissive nature I have. I’ve since realized it isn’t something I have control over, though I can suppress it. And now I realize it is a need that I will always want to fulfill with a dominant woman partner.

I have since realized in the past that I have resigned myself to experiencing a sex life that always left me longing for more. The need to submit to a Domme is a part of who I am at my core and not something I can just forget about. So, I think that is what drives my interest in chastity, the F/m dominant/submissive dynamic, more so than any specific fetish or kink I may enjoy and there are many. But interestingly, those kinks I find most interesting and meaningful all support the chastity experience and the inherent tease and denial aspect of it.

That sums how I got into chastity, and what I think most motivated me to explore it. I hope you will tune in again tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4 when I will respond to this question:

Did you ask a partner to lock you in chastity, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chastity Device

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 2: Your Chastity Device

By Chaste on Monday, October 2, 2023

I’ve acquired quite a few chastity devices over the past four years. Some I rarely wear anymore, but I have several favorites I alternate through. But for today’s questions for this 31 Days of Chastity Meme, I will focus on the device I’m wearing for Locktober 2023.

What sort of chastity device or belt do you wear? What are your likes and dislikes about it?

Besides the general feeling of comfort, there are many things I like about my Cobra N. Since I am a fanatic about hygiene, I like the open, cage-style design, which allows me to keep the cage and contents clean during extended wear without having to remove it. Mostly I just use soap and a handheld shower head to keep things tidy. But recently, I bought a plastic squeeze bottle with a pointed tip (sort of like the condiments bottles you see in some restaurants) that I now use. First, I fill the bottle with warm, soapy water and flush the interior of the Cobra through every opening. Then I refill the bottle with plain, warm water and repeat the flushing process a couple more times. I’m uncertain this is actually necessary since the showering seems to good a good job. But I feel better about wearing a plastic cage for long periods without removal and feel more confident I’m keeping things sparkling clean by using the squeeze bottle once each week.

The fit of the Cobra is something else I like about the device. Having a chubby flaccid penis, I ordered the wide version of the Cobra, which gives the contents a little extra room. It is still a snug fit, but doesn’t feel as tight as the regular version. The extra

width also allows my peen to do its natural expansion and contraction thing without getting stuck during the contractions, so the tip of the glans always stays firmly in contact with the urination outlet. That means I can stand and pee in the usual way without making a mess and my bladder empties more fully than when I sit to urinate.

I love the size of the Cobra N, which fits me as perfectly as any of the custom-fitted stainless steel devices I own. It’s absolutely the perfect length and Kink3D offers such a great variety of base ring sizes that I have the perfect size base ring based on my specific measurements. The device is so light that even when my scrotum is soft, allowing my balls to dangle a bit, the base ring stays firmly against my lower abdomen, unlike some of the heavier stainless steel devices I sometimes wear. The thing really couldn’t fit better or feel more comfortable.

Finally, I love the design of the Cobra. It angles downward, which makes for a low profile so that the device doesn’t print itself against the crotch of my pants or shorts. Even when I wear athletic shorts, there is no noticeable bulge. The finish of the material has a silky feel to it, which also adds to the comfort.

While the question also asks about dislikes, literally there is not one thing I dislike about the Cobra device. Kink3D makes the device from high-quality material and excellent craftsmanship. I can’t imagine how the company could improve on the design. But I will say I think the company prices the Cobra a little higher than it needs to be, especially since the price increases with every size.

I would love to try the Cobra Baby and would enjoy having one of the new Fusion Pink models. But even though I can afford to pay Kink3D prices, I just find it hard to justify spending that much on a plastic, non-custom device, more than once. So, unless Kink3D lowers the prices or at least runs an occasional sale, I probably won’t purchase a second or third Cobra model. I understand Kink3D offered discounts on booth sales at this year’s San Francisco Folsom Street Fair, so I can’t imagine why they can’t offer occasional discounts to the rest of the company’s loyal customer base. I feel so strongly about this that I have already ordered another less expensive 3D printed device from a UK competitor instead of buying a second Cobra. Frankly, I don’t enjoy feeling I am being taken advantage of by any company by having to pay more than I should so they can make more profits, no matter how much I might love the company’s products.

Please share with us in the comments about the device you wear and what you like and dislike about it. And tune in again tomorrow for Day 3 of the 31 Days of Chastity Meme, when I will answer:

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

By Chaste on Sunday, October 1, 2023

Last year, I started a series of posts based on the Tickleberry website’s “30 Days of Chastity” meme, which they based on the popular “30 Days of Kink” meme. For some reason, I never finished answering all thirty questions. So, for Locktober, I am revisiting it with a commitment to finish the list of questions this time. But I plan to change a few questions since I don’t find some of the Tickleberry questions terribly interesting. Also, since Locktober is 31 days long, I’ll add a question to the list for the last day of the month. Now, without further ado, let’s begin with Day 1 of my personalized 31 Days of Chastity Meme.

31 Days of Chastity — Day 1

What does Chastity mean to you? Give us an idea of how it shapes you and your relationships. Are you in Chastity or is your partner?

My perspective on chastity has evolved since I first put on a chastity device four years ago, particularly since meeting Lucie. After having her tap into the submissive part of my nature that I never believed existed, I now regard chastity as the ultimate form of submission. I feel I am gifting Lucie absolute control of my sex life where she decides when or if I get sexual pleasure. That means Lucie gets my full attention. My desire, passion, and energy are all directed towards her. Wearing a cock cage that she controls the keys to enhances all that as my sexual desire builds over time because of the teasing she gives me. A big part of my attraction to chastity is that it is a major turn on for me because of that loss of control.

Yes, it is the effects of orgasm denial that drive my responses to chastity and interactions with Lucie, yet I see the cage itself as a powerful tool she wields and uses to control me from the little things to the big things. She knows while I’m wearing the chastity device, I will do anything to please her in hopes of her unlocking me and allowing me relief.

Those who follow this blog know Lucie is my remote professional keyholder, not my partner. So, unfortunately, it isn’t possible for me to focus entirely on her physical sexual pleasure and desires while ignoring mine the way a guy can who is lucky enough to have his wife or partner enforcing his chastity. Yet our relational dynamic works well for me because I feel I get what I need most from chastity, submission to an authentic dominant woman who I actively serve, sacrifice, and suffer for. It is really the submission piece I find most valuable and why I view chastity as the ultimate form of submission.

I’m fortunate to have someone like Lucie as my Mistress and keyholder. She is a very sexual person who understands male desire and is adept at manipulating it to enforce her will. Also, Lucie enjoys playing the chastity game from her side of the slash, as much I do from my submissive side of it.

The longer Lucie keeps me locked, the more I enjoy it. I actually love the feeling of being in a state of constant, heightened horniness. And chastity gives me no choice but to lean into that and learn to love it. Of course, I still want to orgasm and ejaculate, but honestly, I believe if Lucie allowed me to come, I would miss the feelings of heightened sexual desire, feel empty, and know I would feel less of a desire to submit until enough time passed for the heightened desire and arousal to rebuild. That’s one reason I was secretly happy when Lucie decided I would go into Locktober without a release.

So that’s what chastity means to me on this first day of Locktober 2023? What does chastity mean to you? Feel free to share your thoughts with a comment below.

Tune in tomorrow when I’ll answer this question for Day 2:

What sort of chastity device or belt do you wear? What are your likes and dislikes about it?

Note: If you wish to comment, click the black “Continue Reading” button at the end of the post and the comment section will open.

locktober

Things I Wish I’d Known Before Trying Locktober the First Time

By Chaste on Saturday, September 30, 2023

With the start only hours away, many of those trying Locktober the first time may understandably feel a little nervous. Let’s talk about what to expect.

We’re all unique and respond to things in different ways. But I think there are commonalties in every first time Locktober experience. So what I’ll share here from my experiences probably won’t differ much from what everyone experiences. While I had about ten months of experience wearing chastity devices under my belt before trying Locktober the first time, here are things I wish I’d known back then.

I suspect most guys who have the option will have an orgasm sometime today before beginning Locktober tomorrow. Sadly, I won’t be among them by Lucie’s decree. But for those who do, assuming they made a wise choice when sourcing their chastity device and it’s reasonably comfortable, the first day of Locktober, while exciting, will be pretty much a nothing burger. That’s because after a man has an orgasm and ejaculates, his sexual desire and arousal drops to their lowest levels. We’ve all experienced it. Interest in sex evaporates. That means the first day shouldn’t be difficult for anyone, although the first night might be for those who have never tried sleeping while wearing a chastity device.

The length of the refractory period after orgasm varies from guy to guy. But, most males, within 24 hours of having an orgasm, are back to the sexual excitement phase of the sexual response cycle. Slowly, sexual desire climbs as the prostate refills, and arousal returns. We barely notice it at first, but by the second and third days, most guys are thinking about and feeling pretty ready for another orgasm. That’s why the second and third days are often the most difficult and irritating days of Locktober for most of us. Also, guys who spent little time getting acquainted with their chastity device or worse, chose a poor fitting one will probably experience some discomfort or soreness, especially where the base ring sits beneath their balls. This discomfort or soreness only exacerbates the irritation factor.

Days two and three are usually the most difficult for the same reason that the first few days of any diet are when people are most prone to temptation and failure. Whether we’re talking diets or chastity, we’re transitioning from giving our bodies exactly what our bodies expect to not. It’s an uncomfortable change and our bodies don’t like it. It can seem like every five minutes our bodies demand that we give them what they have become accustomed to getting and want. Thus, the frustration and irritation mount.

Usually, sometime on day four, depending on the man, the body slowly realizes that orgasm and ejaculation are not imminent and it’s a waste of resources to continue expecting sexual release at any moment. It is then that we stabilize into physical and mental acceptance and things feel at least a little easier. Those who make it through the fourth day and remain committed to successfully completing Locktober will usually attain their goal.

After day four or five, expect to arrive at what some term the “Goldilocks phase.” This phase is when the denial of chastity doesn’t feel easy exactly, but not too hard. It feels just about right. Your body’s expectations for sexual release have lowered enough that it stops fighting denial. In this phase, you’re free to simply enjoy the experience of chastity, to experience the sensations of ever-growing desire and intensifying arousal. For men, sexual desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops when locked in a chastity device and denied, though made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. No worries. Those will pass quickly.

Of course, those who try to go straight into 31 days of wearing a chastity device without practicing and getting acclimated to their device in advance might find the going a little harder until after the first week or ten days have passed. That’s because they will probably experience some amount of chafing and soreness where the base ring contacts the delicate skin of the scrotum. All a guy can do is tough it out with the liberal application of a good lubricant until the skin toughens a little and the discomfort dissipates.

The Goldilocks phase usually lasts for about three to four weeks for most males. During this period, a guy slowly gets more and more aroused, and may experience more and more intense submissive feelings toward his keyholder if he has one. Depending on the man, some may float to the finish line on a cloud of intense arousal. But others may find things get difficult again the last week. Those guys will just have to grit their teeth and find the willpower to persevere to the end. But the key point is, with sufficient commitment to succeed, any guy can survive 31 days of denial and wearing a chastity device that fits him reasonably well.

I recommend open, cage-type chastity devices for Locktober that the wearer can keep clean with daily showers without removing them. I’ve never had a problem wearing a cage-type stainless steel device for 31 days straight without removing it for cleaning. This year, I’m wearing a Kink3D Cobra, my first Locktober in a plastic device. But like most of my stainless steel favorites, the Cobra has plenty of openings to allow for cleaning with my handheld shower head.

After 85 days in the Cobra, Lucie unexpectedly told me to remove it last evening long enough for a thorough cleaning of the device and my body. I discovered no foul odor, no built up gunk, and a healthy penis I hadn’t seen in 85 days. Hello, old friend! Of course, after only a 20-minute respite, long enough to clean and dry everything, Lucie locked me right back up. But at least, I’m going into Locktober tomorrow with a squeaky clean cage.

Even if you are trying Locktober the first time this year, you needn’t feel nervous now that you know what to expect. Just take it a day at a time. Good luck! You’ve got this.

male chasity devices

Does the Kink3D Cobra Chastity Device Finally Have a Challenger?

By Chaste on Friday, September 29, 2023

Often imitated but never duplicated, the Kink3D Cobra is one of the most popular chastity devices on the market. While lower-priced (but lower quality) counterfeit Cobra devices abound, the Cobra remains popular even though the device is among the priciest plastic, non-custom devices available. That is mostly because of the lack of any actual competition. But that may be about to change.

The Kink3D Cobra is arguably the most comfortable, high-quality 3D printed chastity device available. Because of its popularity, the Cobra is often imitated but never duplicated. Yes, you can find some decent knock-offs, but none that offer the quality of the Kink3D original. For that reason, the Cobra has had no real competition. That has allowed the device to remain among the priciest, non-custom options on the market.

I paid $160 for my Cobra N chastity kit about four or five months ago. Today it goes for $170. Prices for the original black Cobra model range from $160 for the Baby to $200 for the BFG. With the rollout of the fusion pink model, Kink3D tacked on another $40 for the new color option across the board for the eight available sizes.

Not everyone can afford to buy an original Cobra at those prices. But it appears Kink3D sells plenty of the devices at current prices since prices are increasing, not going down. I’ve never heard of the company offering even an occasional market-wide discount like other manufacturers do. Not even for special events occasions like Locktober. The Cobra pricing strategy seems to be “whatever the market will bear” and I don’t expect that to change until a legitimate competitor appears. Well, that day may have come. Introducing the 3D printed Black Hera Chastity Kit available from House of Denial.

Like the Cobra, the first in House of Denial’s exclusive new Olympus line of male chastity devices, the Hera, is manufactured of high-quality Nylon 12 using the latest 3D printing technology and boasts first rate quality finishing. The Hera, like the Cobra, also incorporates snap fitting locking pins, which hold the cage and base ring together while you reach for the lock and key. They make the device in the UK. And best of all, the price (at today’s exchange rate) of the Hera across all six cage sizes (XS-XXL) is about $121 USD (£99.99).

I’ve ordered the extra small (XS) Hera to wear test and review (saving about 29% over a comparable size Cobra) so I can soon offer a valid Hera versus my Cobra comparison review. Based on the image and measurements provided on the House of Denial website, I expect the XS is very close to the size of my Cobra N. Like the Cobra, the Hera kit comes with one base ring (12 sizes, 36mm-60mm, available), and the same type internal (Magic-lock style) lock with two keys. The Hera is also available with a Hexlock screw locking system at the same price.

While I ordered the black Hera, the device is also available in “stately white with a subtle quartz effect finish” for the same price.

As you can see from the comparison images, the Hera design looks very similar to the Cobra, but the device is not just another Cobra knock-off. This device could develop the same type of loyal following as the Kink3D device, especially with its more favorable price point. That depends, of course, on whether the quality and fit of the Hera matches that of the Cobra. Having purchased off-the-shelf devices from House of Denial in the past and being well satisfied with them, I’m confident the Hera will match up well. And if it does, the Kink3D Cobra may finally have some real competition from a similar quality 3D printed device at a better price.

Stay tuned for the Hera review, which will appear here soon after Locktober 2023 ends.

book reviews

My Review of Practical FLR: Lessons For a Female Led Relationship by J.M. Scott

By Chaste on Thursday, September 28, 2023

I review male chastity devices on this site, not books. But recently I picked up the book, Practical FLR: Lessons For a Female Led Relationship by J.M. Scott and found it so full of useful information I decided to post a book review here. This book answers many of the questions both men and women have about FLRs. But much of the information the author shares is just as applicable to relationships that include male chastity, whether or not the relationships are formal FLRs.

Practical FLR

Lessons For A Female Led Relationship

BY J.M. SCOTT - RELEASE DATE : SEP. 11, 2018

Note: The above is the Amazon link, but you can also get this book from most other booksellers. Available in print and as an eBook.

A sharp, engaging look at female led relationships – what they are, how they work, how to start one, and why they work better than the traditional patriarchal model.

Author J.M. Scott takes readers on an exploration of female led relationships using 35 practical lessons that introduce even total beginners to this alternative relationship dynamic and how an FLR can fan the sparks of any relationship into flames burning with greater intimacy and passion.

Many of the books I’ve read about female led relationships are all written almost exclusively from the female point of view. But Scott’s practical approach applies equally to both women and men. Whether you are a woman looking to better understand submissive men and to learn how to be more assertive in your relationship, or a submissive guy who can’t figure out how to tell your partner about your submissive desires, J.M. Scott has it all covered.

I think this is a groundbreaking booking for many reasons. It wipes away many of the taboos and misconceptions people have about female led relationships, allowing the reader to views FLRs in a completely new light. Had I known ten years ago what I learned from reading this book, I’m sure I could have avoided many unhappy relationships that ended in failure and might today be part of a loving, female led relationship.

While this is the most comprehensive look at female led relationships I’ve read, Scott breaks it all down into concise, easily understood, useful lessons that will help women and men understand how an FLR can transform both new and existing relationships into the best relationships they can be.

What I liked best about this book is that everything J.M. Scott tells the reader about female led relationships is just as applicable to couples who practice male chastity in their relationships but who aren’t in formal FLRs. “The Submissive Male” lesson is one example. Just as a guy who desires chastity often finds it difficult to talk to his partner about it, a submissive man finds it hard to express his submissive desires to his partner out of fear she will misunderstand and think him weak or that he wants to be a sissy who wears women’s clothes. The advice Scott offers to women and men in this lesson on how to dismiss preconceptions and have an intelligent, thoughtful discussion about male submission equally applies to conversations about male chastity.

Another thing I liked about the book is that the author notes female led relationships work just as well for vanilla folks as kinky folks. They can involve D/s, but they don’t have to unless that’s what the partners want. A woman needn’t be naturally dominant to take the leadership role in the relationship, just willing and assertive enough to take control in the areas she is interested in taking charge of. Also, a man needn’t be submissive to enjoy and find value in following his partner’s lead.

I think every man should read this book, especially submissive men. Even if you don’t feel any interest in being part of a female led relationship, this book might just change your mind and motivate you to pass this book on to your partner. Also, I believe all women would benefit from reading this book. Many women might discover a core of dominance they didn’t even know they have. This is literally the most informative and potentially transformative book I’ve read about female led relationships.

J.M. Scott. Independently Published, $16.95. (160p) ISBN 978-1-999-52300-8

Disclaimer: I purchased this book with my own money. This review contains my own, honest opinions and I have no affiliation with the author.

locktober

Going Into Locktober Locked and Denied, Just Like Every Other Day

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I learned from Lucie this morning that I would go straight into Locktober locked and denied, without a release. Just like every other day. And I actually felt better about it than I had expected.

During our chat this morning, Lucie asked me this question.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how desperate are you to have an orgasm before starting Locktober?”

Weirdly, although I’ve felt pretty desperate for about the past week, I found I had to think about it for a moment before answering. I discovered I was feeling a little like Natalie Imbruglia again.

“I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things
That I can’t touch. I’m torn.”
— “Torn,” song by Natalie Imbruglia

After 83 days caged and 149 days orgasm-free, I realized what a contented place I was in. Finally, I told Lucie I would rate my desperation level at about 6.

She said, “But you’ve been saying for days your arousal and frustration are at peak levels?”

I told her that was still true. But when I thought about how pleasurable the state of constant arousal feels and how intensely submissive it makes me feel, I just wasn’t sure I felt all that desperate to trade it all for a few seconds of pleasure. After all, we had spent weeks and weeks getting me to this point and, for just a few fleeting moments of pleasure, I would have to start all over again.

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “Those are precious feelings.” She smiled and continued. “Indeed, it would be a shame to jerk it all away from you.”

Then she decided. I would go straight into Locktober without a release. I felt strangely at peace with her decision.

Men, including me, think of sexual pleasure in terms of their orgasms. Understandable since orgasms feel good. But the more time I spend locked in chastity, especially since meeting Lucie, experiencing those short moments of jouissance, those brief spasms of ecstasy, just don’t seem so important anymore. I’ve begun to wonder if Lucie hasn’t led me to discover an entirely new perspective on sexual pleasure? Perhaps she has permeated every aspect of my sexuality to where physical pleasure for me now looks like pleasure for Lucie.

Of course, Lucie would have decided alone about whether I got an orgasm before Locktober. I would not have had any real input in the decision. And yet I feel certain Lucie would have given my feelings some consideration or she wouldn’t have asked me the desperation question. If I had said my desperation level was a 10, that doesn’t mean she would have allowed me an orgasm. But I got the impression I had pleased her with my answer and explanation and that felt like an achievement.

Once she told me I wouldn’t get an orgasm before Locktober, I said, only half-jokingly, “Maybe you should just cum for both of us from now on, Mistress.”

Lucie smiled again and said, “I already do.”

locktober

Looking for a Last Minute Locktober Keyholder?

By Chaste on Sunday, September 24, 2023

With Locktober only a week away, time is growing short to find a keyholder for those who don’t want to go it alone. So, I thought I would pass on an interesting opportunity that I just became aware of for anyone who might be interested.

Having done Locktober both ways, self-locked and with a keyholder, I know from experience the latter is much more enjoyable than the former. If you’re planning to do Locktober this year, but haven’t found a keyholder, perhaps M. H. Macdonald can help you out.

Femdom M. H. Macdonald is best known for her entertaining chastity and female domination fiction books, but this year she is offering keyholding for Locktober.

The service is NOT free, so if you are a staunch believer in not paying to play, you can stop reading now. But for those not against paying for keyholding services, Macdonald has made an interesting offer. Instead of paying a direct tribute, all interested guys must do is buy $31.00 worth of her books and provide proof of purchase, and she will supervise your Locktober lock up. At only a dollar a day, that is about as cheap as paid keyholding services get.

Rest assured, M. H. Macdonald knows her way around a chastity device. She is a dominant woman with a submissive partner who she keeps locked in chastity. And anyone who can write such entertaining and detailed femdom fiction has all the imagination and creativity a good keyholder needs. Since I haven’t had her as a keyholder, I can’t very well offer an unqualified endorsement of M. H. Macdonald. But I will say I’m confident enough of her abilities that if I didn’t already have a Mistress, I would be more than willing to try Macdonald’s service which I think is a generous offer.

This deal seems like a win – win. Those who enjoy femdom and chastity fiction will get some entertaining books to read plus the keyholding and M. H. Macdonald will sell a few books, something all authors enjoy. Most of the books sell for $2.99, with a few priced at only $1.00. So a guy would need to buy around ten titles to meet the $31.00 threshold. Also, you will need a FetLife account since that’s where Macdonald is accepting applications and the platform she will use to enforce the chastity of successful applicants.

I suggest you first message Macdonald on FetLife to express your interest before purchasing the books to make certain she has room for you.

Summary of Macdonald’s offer:

Contact Macdonald by DM through her Fetlife page to apply.
Purchase $31.00 worth of her femdom/chastity fiction books on Amazon. You can find a complete list of her books here (twenty-eight titles so far).
Send a second DM with your proof of purchase (Amazon receipt).
Lock up on October 1 and submit the required daily proof of lock photos to Macdonald throughout Locktober. (Macdonald requires either the use of a numbered plastic lock on your device or a lock box with a timer lock to secure your keys).

For complete details of Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding offer, read her post on FetLife here. (Free FetLife membership required to access).

If anyone uses Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding service, I would be grateful to hear about your experience with it and am happy to post any reviews anyone will share.

Disclaimer: I have no commercial affiliation with M. H. Macdonald beyond being a fan of her fiction books I’ve purchased with my own money. I received no gratuity or other consideration from Macdonald in connection with this post.