Cut to the Chaste

Prepping for Locktober

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Only twelve days remain before the start of the holy month of Locktober, the crown jewel of male chastity. In less than two weeks, determined (or forced) penis owning humans everywhere hope to be on their metal as they face the annual 31-day crucible that will reveal whether they possess the classical virtue of fortitude — or not. Whoever takes part in Locktober this year, I will certainly be among them.

As Locktober draws nigh, I’ve felt increasingly anxious about what Lucie has planned. Not that I’ve doubted for a moment that we would take part in Locktober. My concern was more about whether she had any plan to unlock me and allow me a release before October 1. After all, by month’s end, she will have kept me locked for 88 days and orgasm free for 154 days, all while subjecting me to intense teasing that at times has bordered on cruelty. Just when I had girded myself last Sunday to broach the subject, Lucie brought it up first.

After telling me she had been thinking about Locktober and was much looking forward to our first Locktober together, she informed me she had a prepping for Locktober plan to ease us into it. Lucie then said she was replacing our current teasing and denial program with a new ten to fourteen day prepping program, during which she would give me two chances to earn a release. So far, so good. But then she crushed my hopes by adding this caution.

“But it is very possible that you will fail both opportunities. Then you would have to go into Locktober without a release.”

When she first mentioned giving me two opportunities to earn a release, I admit to feeling suspicious. That’s because after four months, I have learned well how her devious mind works. Munificence is not among Lucie’s many endearing attributes. Of course, that isn’t her fault. She is a proper sadist and what sadist is a sadist who misses any opportunity to deal out mental cruelty to her chastity slave? So, I strongly suspect Lucie has some trick up her sleeve that guarantees I’ll fail whatever opportunities for release she offers. And, of course, she didn’t offer any details about the “opportunities.” As Lucie is fond of reminding me:

“Locked boys needn’t spend their time worrying about the things over which they have no control.”

So, since the weekend we have embarked on her new diabolical teasing and denial plan that is even more intense than what we had already been doing for about the past nine weeks. So far it has featured more intense edging sessions and a stronger focus on erotic humiliation.

Not that I don’t admire and appreciate Lucie’s seemingly inexhaustible creativity, but it doesn’t feel like we’re easing into anything, much less Locktober. I could be wrong, but I’ve already accepted I’m probably going into Locktober with no unlock and no orgasm. But, hey. No one ever said life is fair, right?

Accordingly, I have made my mental preparations for Locktober as well as they can be made. If I must endure another 31 days of enforced chastity after this month’s close, so be it. I once heard this stoic line in a movie that I liked.

“One may stare into the light until one becomes the light.”

Perhaps I can use that bit of moral relativism to get through Locktober without a release. It represents a common observation of Nietzsche and others that we become like that we fight against, since we must do so in order to survive. I suppose that is just as true for denial.

Well wishes to all who are prepping for Locktober.

male chastity sexuality

Eating Your Cum

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Whether they will admit it, I suspect most men have at least tasted their semen after ejaculating, if only to satisfy their curiosity. I admit I have. But eating your cum, whether voluntarily or because a dominant partner makes you, is a whole other level. A post by a dominant woman I follow on Twitter got me to thinking about this and prompted this post. How do you feel about eating your cum?

The first line of a Twitter post by a dominant woman (@PracticalFLR) I follow immediately caught my attention.

“Always Make Him Eat His Cum!”

Of course, I clicked on the “Show more” link to read the entire post to learn more about her perspective. I’m reposting the entire post here for the convenience of readers who don’t use Twitter (now known as X). Here is what she had to say.

“One great rule in a #FLR is mandatory cum eating.

It’s really not even meant to be an option.

There’s really no excuse not to eat it. It’s polite.

But there’s more to it than just that. There’s multiple reasons on why he should be eating his cum, without being told.

The main reason is because it helps him develop the submissive mindset beyond sexuality.

When he is always submissive, and horny, he ties submission to being horny. So naturally when he gets off, his submission will drop off and he will want a break from submission.

In a FLR there are no breaks from submission that she doesn’t agree to. So it’s unacceptable for him to not be in the mood to submit, just because he had a full release orgasm.

This actually makes full release orgasms something to fear, and avoid, which isn’t very ideal. You don’t want to be afraid of certain acts just because it might cause his submission to drop.

Instead, it’s time to train him to be submissive, whether he’s horny or not. Whether it’s sexual or not.

The moment he cums, any ideas and appeal of eating his cum he entertained only moments before, are completely gone. The idea of eating it now is a turn off, and maybe even gross.

This is the perfect opportunity.

It’s the perfect time for him to demonstrate his submission to her, and reinforce the submissive mindset in his non-horny mind.

It’s time to make him eat his cum. Not quickly either. Slowly. Make him wait a few seconds between each lick.

If it was collected in a glass, [make him] sip it slowly, and let the taste infiltrate his entire mouth.

He doesn’t get to just slurp it up and gone, that’s too easy. No, he must savor it, and understand he will be eating it from now on, every time, every last drop.

This will maintain his submissive mindset through a full release orgasm, and will train his non-horny mind that he’s still owned by her. That submission to her is not optional.

It’s also a sign of respect for her, to do it without being told, to demonstrate that he knows his place, and will respectfully clean up his own mess, as a sign of gratitude, so she doesn’t have to do it.

It’s the polite, submissive thing to do.

There are other benefits of this as well, since cum is full of vitamins and minerals, it’s a complete and total waste to not eat it. It’s healthy, and it replenishes the nutrition lost in cumming.

It should be mandatory, and non-negotiable. Every time. The bigger the load, the better.

Always make him eat it.”

─PracticalFLR. “Always Make Him Eat His Cum!” X (Formerly known as Twitter), September 2, 2023. Accessed September 13, 2023.

Wow! There’s lots to unpack here. Eating my semen is not something I have ever wanted to do. Not to say I haven’t done it. I have.

The very first keyholder I had was evidently a kindred spirit of the woman who made the above post. During the time we were together, she allowed me two orgasms and both times, she made me scoop and eat my semen. So, I’m not just speculating that I don’t want to do it. From experience, I know I don’t want to do it.

Nothing about eating my cum appeals to me. I’ve never liked anything in my mouth that has a slimy consistency and I do not like either the taste or odor of semen. I find it repulsive. And, just so we’re clear that I’m not a hypocrite. Never have I ever asked any woman who has given me a blow job to swallow. A few have voluntarily, but I never asked them to do it.

I don’t even like blow jobs particularly. It takes forever for me to cum that way and the longer it goes on, the more sensitive my glands feel until soon it feels more like I’m enduring it rather than enjoying it. I’ve always loved giving oral to women I’ve had sex with, and that’s what feels most natural to me, perhaps because of my submissiveness. Having a woman give me oral never feels comfortable, especially when I suspect she intends to continue to the bitter end.

Still, I must admit that everything @PracticalFLR wrote makes sense and I can’t disagree with anything she said. While I have little experience with female led relationships, I think her view on men eating their semen after ejaculation applies just as well to any F/m power exchange relationship, including keyholding relationships.

“So naturally when he gets off, his submission will drop off and he will want a break from submission.”

I know from experience this statement is true. Naturally, when a guy has an orgasm and ejaculates, his arousal drops to near zero. And I’ve learned the intensity of my submissive feelings rise and falls with the intensity of my arousal. In the past, when Lucie has allowed me to cum, afterward, I’ve felt sexually satiated and not very submissive until I started feeling horny again.

“The moment he cums, any ideas and appeal of eating his cum he entertained only moments before, are completely gone. The idea of eating it now is a turn off, and maybe even gross.”

I also know from experience this is true. When my very first keyholder made me eat my cum after the first orgasm she allowed, it caught me by surprise. She hadn’t mentioned making me do it until after I came and ejaculated. But I expected it the second time she allowed me to orgasm. And while I was building up to the orgasm, the idea of eating my cum seemed appealing and expecting it made me even hornier. But the moment I ejaculated, the appeal of eating my semen vanished and having to do it was an enormous turn off and definitely gross. I even felt queasy by the time I finished it. I’ve since had similar experiences while masturbating, where I planned to man up and eat it when I finished. But after finishing, I could never make myself do it.

“This will maintain his submissive mindset through a full release orgasm, and will train his non-horny mind that he’s still owned by her.”

This statement is something I’ve never even thought about before and what most prompted me to write this post today. While I have no experience to base it on, I can imagine how this might also be true. I can imagine how being made to eat your cum every time could condition you to continue feeling intensely submissive, even when post-ejaculation you no longer felt horny at all. After all, humans are animals and are just as susceptible to classical conditioning as Pavlov’s dogs were.

I know this to be true because I once used classical conditioning to train a woman I dated to orgasm after only a little stimulation whenever I spoke the five-word phrase I used to condition her. It worked almost too well. Months after we ended our relationship, she was still having trouble reaching orgasm, whether with a partner or with masturbation in the phrase’s absence. She believed I had “broken” her, but thankfully she eventually regained her ability to orgasm normally. So, no reason a guy couldn’t be conditioned this way. And who knows? Perhaps in time he might even learn to love eating his cum, knowing it was simply another way to show his respect and gratitude to his dominant partner.

“There are other benefits of this as well, since cum is full of vitamins and minerals, it’s a complete and total waste to not eat it. It’s healthy, and it replenishes the nutrition lost in cumming.”

I admit I felt a little skeptical about this claim and decided to fact check it. But, according to the WebMD website, this claim is mostly true.

“Semen is a complex substance created by the male reproductive organs. The fluid is made mostly of water, plasma, and mucus (a lubricating substance). It also contains 5 to 25 calories, and is made up of small amounts of essential nutrients, including:

Calcium
Citrate
Fructose
Glucose
Lactic Acid
Magnesium
Potassium
Protein
Zinc

Semen is full of vitamins and minerals, many of the essential nutrients that we need in our daily diet.”

But, according to WebMD, semen isn’t a good nutritional source due to the small amount of semen produced in one ejaculation. So, I suppose we must rule out good health as a motivating factor for consuming it. Maybe choose a good multivitamin here instead.

So far, Lucie has not broached the subject of cum eating. In the past, when she has felt I have earned a release, once she has unlocked me, she has left me to my own devices for the period of unlocked time until locking me again. She has had no direct involvement in my orgasms. But based on our recent conversations, I know this will change with the next unlock when she will take an active role in my orgasms. So, while it is still not something I want to do, I can imagine the subject of cum eating might come up (no pun intended).

If Lucie requires it, then I will, of course, do it, like it or not. However, while I can’t disagree with @PracticalFLR that it’s a sign of respect for your dominant partner to eat your cum without being told, I’m not planning to even bring up the subject with Lucie, much less do it voluntarily. I’m happy to wait patiently to see whether it is something Lucie makes a part of our dynamic. After all, isn’t patience an important submissive virtue too?

male chastity

Does Wanting Chastity Mean You Are Submissive?

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Recently, I’ve posted a lot about submission. That’s because Lucie has shown a unique ability to access and exploit the sexually submissive side of my nature. Having spent much of my life denying the existence of that part of me, it amazes me to see how easily Lucie has persuaded me to not only accept but embrace being a submissive man. That explains why I’ve written about it so much lately, the amazement. I’m writing about submission again today, but taking a different tack. Does wanting chastity mean you are submissive? Nope. Not at all.

Chastity need not involve D/s or even kink, for that matter. Some guys want for a myriad of different reasons to wear a locked chastity device to which someone else controls the key to the lock simply because they desire having someone else to control their penis and access to sexual pleasure. Putting on a chastity cage and handing over the key to someone else is something we might consider a submissive act, but it doesn’t necessarily make a guy submissive.

The reason I chose to discuss this today is that I don’t want anyone to think that chastity and wearing chastity devices is only something submissive men do. That’s for two reasons. Such an understanding might prevent guys who know they aren’t submissive from trying chastity and I’ve come to believe every guy should try it even though some will decide chastity just isn’t for them. Just as important, I don’t want women who don’t feel attracted to submissive men to get turned off by the idea of chastity because they think it will transform their manly, masculine husband or boyfriend into a milquetoast, servile male who longs to wear a French maid outfit.

Assuming all submissive men are timid, weak, insipid, and effeminate is of course subscribing to an untrue stereotype. Yes, such men exist, but I believe they are the exception, not the rule. I also think dividing the entire population of men into alphas and betas is a gross oversimplification. I believe masculinity is a continuum where we could put the so-called alpha males on one end and betas on the other and where most men would fall somewhere on the line between those extremes.

Using me as an example, I’m no beta male. I’m not shy, timid, or effeminate even when I’m feeling the most submissive to Lucie. I’ve always gravitated to dominant roles and professions in everyday life and have often held leadership positions. I’ve served in two branches of the armed forces, applied for and got selected to officer candidate school, served as a commissioned military officer, completed several of the military’s hero schools and have the patches and tabs to prove it.

Like many guys I’ve known, I’m a sexual submissive, not submissive in a general sense. I don’t feel less masculine when submitting to a strong, dominant woman like Lucie. And I am not submissive to every dominant woman. I won’t be feminized, and no one, including Lucie, could ever persuade me to become a sissy maid. Just like I said about masculinity earlier, I think submission is also a continuum. I’m neither the most submissive nor least submissive guy on the planet. I fall somewhere on a line between those extremes.

If you’re a woman whose husband or partner has admitted he wants to wear a chastity device and for you to be his keyholder and maybe feel it means he isn’t the manly man you thought he was, no worries. My advice is to have a serious discussion until you feel you understand his motivations and then decide whether it is something you are able and willing to take part in. For guys who feel sure they don’t have a submissive bone in their body, you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of trying chastity if you feel curious about it. You don’t have to become something you’re not, and you might learn something about yourself you don’t know if you try it.

Since discovering my submissive nature under Lucie’s guidance, I’ve felt no discomfort or shame about it. And after weeks and now months of being locked for Lucie, I’ve learned it amplifies my submissive feelings. In my case, I feel the submissive piece has only enhanced the chastity experience. But we’re all unique individuals who respond to chastity differently. The takeaway is, just wanting chastity does not mean you are submissive. But if you are submissive, you will probably find chastity even more meaningful and enjoyable.

pro-domme key holders

Why I Prefer Having a Pro Domme Enforce My Chastity

By Chaste on Sunday, September 3, 2023

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity during those times I’ve wanted a keyholder. Mostly that is because of two reasons.

I am not in a relationship with anyone and haven’t been for several years now. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend who might enforce my chastity, though I’ve always believed that is probably the very best way to do chastity. The reason I’m not in a relationship and not looking to get into one is the other explanation for my pro domme as a keyholder preference.

Several years ago, I went through a very painful break up with a woman I had expected to spend the rest of my life with, and I’ve never fully recovered from it. I had two relationships with wonderful women after that one ended, but that’s when I realized relationships would never work for me again because I had loved that one woman so completely and so deeply that I simply had nothing left to give to another. Getting involved with another woman would never be fair to either of us, because any new relationship would ultimately fail.

That also explains why I’ve never considered seeking what many term a lifestyle domme as a keyholder, a dominant woman who might enforce my chastity as part of the power exchange and exert other forms of control, all with no expectation of payment. I have great respect for the lifestyle dommes I know, a few of whom I count as friends. But a relationship with a non-pro domme means you must deal with the dominant woman as the whole woman.

Many of the same challenges you face in vanilla dating and relationships are in play with a lifestyle domme. And that is exactly what I don’t want and firmly believe I won’t ever want. Satisfying romantic relationships is part of my past, not part of my future. Yes, it sometimes makes me feel sad to think about that, but as a realist, I can’t question the truth of my convictions.

A pro domme, in comparison, is not looking for a relationship or even any sexual interaction. Not to say that she won’t require you to perform sexual acts that she might also find arousing to have you do, or that real intimacy can’t naturally develop between the two of you. But she will never be your girlfriend.

A pro domme may be as keen about chastity enforcement and teasing and denial as you, but she is providing professional services and is in the business of creating and delivering immersive fantasies. She will connect with you in much the same way as a personal trainer, therapist, or life coach, providing her services for a fee (tribute).

I’ve discovered that many people know very little about pro dommes, what they do and don’t do, and what submitting to a pro domme is actually like. What has surprised me the most is how little lifestyle dommes know about all that.

Some assumptions about pro dommes I’ve seen lifestyle dommes post on blogs and other places were shockingly false. One example I’ve read was, “Pro dommes are the closest you can get to a porn-on-demand experience.” This woman, as many others do, believe pro dommes are “kink dispensers” that give you exactly what you want because you’re paying them. Having engaged a half-dozen pro-dommes, one of whom is internationally known and respected, I can tell you they are not kink dispensers.

I’ve never had a pro domme ask me, “So, what do you want me to do to you?” Yes, they want to know what you’re into because they aren’t mind readers. But they only want to know what your kinks are in broad terms and what your limits are. Like, “I’m into chastity, teasing and denial, impact play, and anal play. My limits are public humiliation, feminization, and cross-dressing.” They don’t care about and don’t want to hear about what you specifically want them to do to you.

Try telling a pro domme, “I want you to lock my cock in a chastity device for a week, then unlock me, and then give me jack off instructions while you watch me masturbate, and then…” You won’t even get that far before they shut you down.

Sure, you can probably find a cam girl on Only Fans who will do all that stuff for you for the right price, but submitting to pro dommes doesn’t work that way. They will take your kink interests and decide where yours overlap with theirs and then, while respecting your limits, will deliver an experience that addresses those shared interests in whatever way that pleases them. Just because you’re tributing them doesn’t mean you get to be in charge. It also doesn’t mean they don’t expect to get pleased or get their desires met too. That’s what dominance and submission are about. It’s an exchange.

Tributes are a funny thing to me. I have no trouble at all tributing a pro domme. A tribute shows respect for a pro domme’s expertise, time, and attention, all of which she could devote to someone else if she wasn’t giving it to you.

A financial tribute to a pro domme is not like paying a prostitute for sex. It isn’t like paying a woman to date you. A pro domme will not have sex with you because she isn’t a prostitute and she won’t be your girlfriend. They are not “findoms.” Yet I see guys all the time on forums advertising for a keyholder who always adds, “Not looking for pay-to-play.” Yeah, good luck with that.

If you want a domme, don’t want to tribute a pro domme, and expect free keyholding, then stop wasting your time posting personal ads on chastity forums. Find out where your local kink community hangs out, get plugged in, and start meeting some dominant women and you might get lucky by finding a lifestyle domme who is interested in you. Or else find someone who isn’t necessarily dominant but willing to date and explore chastity with you. Most women, even vanilla women, can be great keyholders as long as they want to be keyholders.

I’ve had some uniformly wonderful experiences with the pro dommes I’ve engaged with. For the past four months, I’ve submitted to the best pro domme I’ve ever played with, Lucie.

I am still enough of a romantic in the sense I don’t want to submit to just any random domme. I want that connection to one person. And I want that connection with Lucie after learning how well I respond to her relentless willingness to bend me to her will. She doesn’t indulge my kinks. Lucie uses them to taunt me with her power. She enslaves me with her body and her desires so that all I think about is the best way to please her. Even when offering what pleasures she permits me, she is only reminding me how completely she controls me. I want the relationship with Lucie to last.

Lucie has already helped me discover so much about the parts of my sexuality that exist outside what I’ve fantasized about, and she has unlocked the submissive part of my nature in ways I didn’t realize were possible. The vulnerability of being submissive is ultimately part of being a half of a whole. And in the power exchange dynamic of D/s, Lucie, for me, has become the other half.

My pleasures, like my kinks, belong to her. They are the tools of her control. “My pleasure doesn’t matter” has become my mantra. I never expected submitting to Lucie to impact me this much, to feel so bonded with her, so in the beginning, it felt bewildering to feel that things were far more real than I had expected. But she has transformed me into her perfect, driven, obedient boy.

Every opportunity to serve, to sacrifice, to suffer for her feels like something relevant has passed between us. Each whimper and groan from my heightened physical arousal produced by her vivid sexual creativity makes me feel gooey inside. “Good boy” still provokes those same shudders of desire as when I first discovered those words were in Lucie’s hand, a leash on my soul.

Those are the reasons why I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity. Or, to put a finer point on it, why I prefer having Lucie enforce my chastity. She has left an indelible mark on my soul.

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You Don’t Have to Become a Dominatrix to Be a Chastity Keyholder

By Chaste on Saturday, September 2, 2023

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something specifically for women. So, today let’s see why you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder.

Trawling the male chastity forums as I often do, I see this question or some variation of it again and again.

“How do I get my wife to dominate me?”

My answer to that question is you can’t. Not unless she wants to do it. And here is one of the biggest problems that crops up when a guy screws up the courage to admit to his wife or partner he wants her to lock his genitals in a chastity cage and take possession of the keys.

As women are prone to do, she immediately turns to the Internet to find out what in the world has come over her husband and what it is he is asking her to do exactly? Invariably, she runs headlong into all the porn and fiction surrounding male chastity that proliferates the web, and gets immediately turned off by the entire idea. She isn’t a dominatrix type and has zero interest in becoming one. “Cuckolding? Eww! That’s disgusting!”

First, the good news. You don’t have to develop an interest in wearing leather or shiny latex outfits. You don’t have to learn how to wield a flogger, paddle, or rattan cane. The fact is, you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder. You don’t even have to be an actual sexual dominant or embrace the philosophy of female superiority.

Your partner or husband isn’t asking you to become something you’re not. He is only asking you to lock up his genitals with what I admit at first blush probably looks like a ridiculous little plastic or metal thing and to take full control of his penis, orgasms, and his access to sexual pleasure. Yes, he also wants you to tease him now and again to keep his libido peaking because erotic sexual denial isn’t much fun without it. But most women, I’d say the vast majority of women, are more than capable of doing all this. Even women who may prefer the submissive role in the bedroom.

Now the bad news. A good keyholder should really want to be a keyholder. You don’t have to visit chastity forums too often to come across cases where a wife or partner is trying to dominate her man, or her man is trying to make her a keyholder, but it isn’t working because she doesn’t actually want to control him.

I think a lot of women pretend to want to enforce their partner’s chastity because they are trying to please him. They understand how much their partner wants this. They love him, and naturally they try to please him by being as domly as they can. But any self-respecting guy sees through this easily. It never really works.

You don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a keyholder, but my view is if your heart isn’t in it, leave it alone. Yes, your partner will feel dissatisfied. But it’s better to be honest. Here, a half a loaf is not better than no bread at all. A pretend keyholder is worse than no keyholder at all.

If your partner really, really wants chastity, and you aren’t that way inclined, why not let someone else lock and supervise him instead? This isn’t as strange as it might sound. Some couples find a pro domme and make the arrangement work.

Your partner wouldn’t get a girlfriend on the side. It doesn’t work that way. He would merely pay for professional chastity services in an arrangement that is quite similar to paying a dentist or a therapist for their professional services. And you can get involved in it as much or as little as you wish. The best part is you would still reap all the benefits of having a more pliable and attentive partner. Locked and denied boys are the best boys, no matter who does the locking.

male chastity for beginners

Chastity Device Recommendations for Beginners

By Chaste on Thursday, August 31, 2023

Recently, I received an email from a blog reader asking which chastity device I’ve reviewed that I recommend for someone trying chastity for the first time. I’ve addressed that question here before, but I understand it’s easier to email than to page through the 178 posts I’ve written and published to date to find the answer. And, to be honest, I’ve changed my mind slightly since visiting this topic the last time. So, with Locktober fast approaching, it seems a good time to revisit chastity device recommendations for beginners.

I still stand by my previous recommendation that the Holy Trainer is one of the best choices for chastity device beginners. That’s because it is a high-quality device offering great comfort overall and particularly the most comfortable base ring I’ve ever worn thanks to its ergonomic design. I also like the fact that the end of the cage that is closest to the body extends a short distance through and past the base ring. That, combined with the tight fit of the cage, makes the Holy Trainer harder to slip out of while locked. It’s not absolutely secure. No ball-trap device is without an incorporated piercing, but the Holy Trainer feels more secure than many other devices.

Having now worn a Kink3D Cobra N for almost two straight months, it is my new second pick as one of the most beginner-friendly chastity devices. It is also a very comfortable, light-weight cage. Kink3D also offers a wider cage option with all models except the Baby Cobra for guys with above average girth. With the Holy Trainer, everyone gets the standard 33 mm internal diameter cage except for the Maxi model (35 mm). Kink3D doesn’t publish specs down to the internal diameter of the Cobra to protect the company’s intellectual property, but the standard size is around 37 mm and the wide option is larger than that. I can’t say what the internal diameter of my wide model is exactly since I haven’t measured it.

Kink3D also offers three different base ring types; standard round, the XD (extra thick), and curved. I’m a guy with average-size, high and tight balls and have learned from experimentation that only the standard round ring works for me. The XD thicker ring makes the gap tighter and too tight for me. The curved ring, even the smallest size I can get on (41. 3 mm), allows ball escapes.

For price comparison, you can get any Holy Trainer model for $165. Kink3D Cobra kits (ring, cage, & lock) are pricier and the price goes up with the size, ranging from $160 for the Baby Cobra to $200 for the BFG. If you have a hankering for the new Fusion Pink color devices, expect to pay even more; from $200 for the Baby Cobra to $240 for the Cobra BFG. Sorry, for a plastic device, that’s just obscene. I like the new color, but I’d never pay that much for any plastic device. At $240, you are very close to the price of a custom-made device you know will fit you exactly.

I’ve been curious about the Kink3D pricing strategy since I first learned about the company and its devices. I suspect they view Holy Trainer and CB-X as their primary competitors and used the prices of those devices as a starting point. Kink3D also uses the modern 3D printing technology to fabricate the Cobra, which is more expensive than injection molding.

The cost of 3D printers and printing has dropped sharply during the last decade, but the current technology costs and quality of the printing Kink3D uses probably explain part of the higher prices. Still, I think Cobra prices could be significantly lower and still generate substantial profits for the company. That’s because I have purchased Cobra knock-offs that are 3D printed and of nearly the same printing quality for $35 or less. If those manufacturers are making a profit at that price point, I don’t see how Kink3D justifies the current prices. I hope the company will lower the prices in the future or at least run an occasional sale. I think that would encourage more guys to buy the original rather than one of the cheap Cobra counterfeits produced mostly by China manufacturers.

Here, as far as my recommendations for the best devices for beginners, I’m only recommending the original Kink3D Cobra. That’s because it is a known high quality device. While I understand the temptation to buy an almost identical device for the fraction of the cost of the original Cobra, I also know a wide disparity of quality exists among the counterfeits on the market. I’ve talked to guys who have bought copies advertised as 3D printed that were actually molded plastic and more than a few guys have told me the Cobra copies they bought broke after less than a month of normal use.

I’ve been fortunate with the Cobra copies I’ve purchased and just ordered another one from a company I’ve bought from before, a knock-off copy of the Baby Cobra. I ordered the copy because I want to see whether I like the fit of Baby Cobra better than the Cobra N before spending $160 to get the original.

So, that’s my current device recommendations for chastity device beginners. The price difference between a HT device and the higher priced Cobra (black) will be within $10-$15 for most guys. Knowing what I do now, I’d probably go with the Cobra simply because it’s an open-style cage I can keep clean in the shower without removing it. Holy Trainer devices are closed tube types that users should remove at least weekly to maintain proper hygiene. If you don’t mind the regular cleaning unlocks, I think the Holy Trainer offers more comfortable wear for guys with penis girth sizes that work with the 33 mm internal cage diameter.

locktober

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

By Chaste on Tuesday, August 29, 2023

“It’s the most wonderful time
Yes the most wonderful time
Oh the most wonderful time
Of the year.”

No, I’m not talking about the holidays that the above lyrics refer to, but the most wonderful time of the year for those of us who enjoy having a chastity device locked on our genitals for the entire month of October. Locktober 2023 is coming.

Only three days left in August and then only 30 days remain until the start of Locktober 2023, the most wonderful time of the year for those of us who are chastity enthusiasts. What I really love about Locktober is it is the time when so many guys who don’t cage their cocks most of the time or some of the time join those of us who do for a full month. And I suspect many of those who join us in October will continue locking after the month ends.

For me, I suppose Locktober might seem a little anti-climatic this year. Lucie has kept me locked the entire month of August and has given me no reason to expect September will be any different. The way Lucie sees it, since I’ve proven I can keep the contents of the cage clean without removing it and I’ve mastered the skill of prostate milking, there isn’t any reason for her to unlock me. So, chances seem good, I will simply slip seamlessly into Locktober on October 1. On the other hand, this will be my first Locktober shared with Lucie, so that will make it special.

As of today, I’m beginning the fifty-fifth day locked for Lucie and I haven’t had an orgasm for 120 days and some change, not even a ruined one. And I’ve never been happier. Horny? Extremely. Frustrated? Absolutely. Do I want to come? Desperately. Then why so happy?

I’m happy because I love Lucie owning my penis, owning my orgasms, and owning my access to all sexual pleasure. I have never felt the level of chemistry with any past key holder that I feel with Lucie. She has earned my trust and my absolute devotion.

Lucie has also convinced me she loves keeping me locked as much as I love her doing it. We both understand perfectly the dynamic of our relationship, and we’re on the same page. She has taken the time and put forth the effort to get to know me intimately. And that is how she expertly keeps my arousal bumping against the ceiling so that I’m always craving more. Closing in on my fourth year of chastity, I have found my perfect key holder. All of this explains why I want Lucie’s control permanently. Recent discussions give me hope she is giving serious thought to giving me what I want.

Back to the subject at hand, the approach of Locktober. If you’re thinking about participating this year, especially if it’s your first time, now is the time to prepare. If you don’t have a well-fitted device that you feel confident that you can wear comfortably (more or less) for 31 straight days, it’s time to get one. And using September to practice extending your locked periods is a great idea. Being able to remain locked 24/7 for two weeks will increase your odds of having a successful Locktober.

Get ready. Soon it will be the most wonderful time of the year.

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

You Can’t Domme Without Feedback

By Chaste on Friday, August 18, 2023

One of Lucie’s many pithy pearls of wisdom is: “You can’t domme without feedback.”

The past five weeks since Lucie returned from vacation have been intense. She has kept me locked for 43 days, and thanks to my voluntary three-month period of celibacy when I committed to Chastity 90 back in May, I have not had a single orgasm, not even a ruined one, for 109 days. Lucie, now in full command since Chastity 90 ended, seems happy to keep me locked and orgasm free.

As part of our dynamic, Lucie requires me to submit a written report each Saturday since she feels you can’t domme without feedback. One requirement for the report is I must rate my perceived levels of sexual desire (horniness) and sexual frustration using a scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high). This week, I have been rocking a steady 5 in both categories. Truthfully, I can’t recall having ever been this horny, and this frustrated for such a sustained period.

Usually, after two weeks of wearing a cage, I sort of slip into cruise control where my arousal is above my normal baseline when I am not locked and denied, but my frustration levels off where it’s easily endurable. With Lucie, it doesn’t work that way.

Arousal has built quickly to escape velocity, using the parlance of rocket launches, and stays there. My balls never relax, like when the cruise control thing happens. Instead, they remain big and tightly pressed against the base ring, which is damn uncomfortable. And for two straight weeks, I have awakened each morning to attempted morning wood, pushing the cage as far from my body as the base ring allows. Not only that, I get attempted erections in the daytime for no reason, and sometimes leak with no apparent cause.

All well and good, since sexual desire feels amazingly pleasurable. But Lucie doesn’t care as much about that as she does about ramping up the sexual frustration level to excruciating heights. That’s more in keeping with her sadistic nature. “If you’re not suffering, it’s not submission.” She is far more apt to adjust her input when the feedback doesn’t show that I’m frustrated enough to suit her beautiful, sadistic mind than if my horniness level isn’t up to snuff. In a word, I’m suffering with no end in sight.

When I first contacted Lucie, I was only looking to spend a month locked by a keyholder as a change of pace from a steady diet of self-locking. That’s what I’ve always done in the past when I’ve engaged a professional keyholder. But things haven’t worked out that way with Lucie, and we’re well on our way to reaching the 4-month mark.

I’ve stayed locked for way over 43 days many times, but only once has a keyholder kept me locked this long before. That was my very first keyholder, who kept me locked for over sixty days. But she allowed me to have one ruined and one full orgasm during that time.

I do not know when Lucie intends to unlock me. Not a clue. But when we talked last Tuesday, I mentioned hitting 5 on the scales for both variables and all she said was, “Already? I suppose the coming weeks will be hard for you.” Sure, that was so hot when she said it. But sobering when I thought about it later. Weeks? Definitely more than one. But “weeks” could mean anything. Two weeks? Three? And there are 52 weeks in a year, perish the thought. Weeks could mean anything. Thankfully, she didn’t say months.

So, yeah, it’s getting real in Lucieville. But that’s okay. I absolutely love her. No, not in some creepy, besotted way. That isn’t the dynamic of our relationship. And the reason I prefer a pro over a lifestyle domme is I don’t want a romantic relationship. I only want an experienced, dominant woman to enforce my chastity. And Lucie is the most amazing keyholder and domme I’ve ever had. That’s why we’ve gone almost four months, and why I want to keep going.

I mentioned to her a week or so ago that I couldn’t help wishing for a more permanent arrangement with her. I expected her to remind me that isn’t what she does. But to my surprise, she said she has fun with me and unlike many she has held keys for, I’m not clingy or demanding and I understand the dynamic of our relationship. Then she said she would think about it.

Wow! I couldn’t have been happier. So, we’ll see what comes of it. I enjoy things as they are now, but I would love her to take more control and all the time, not just during negotiated periods. If she does that, I’ll never have to look for another keyholder and wouldn’t want to. Lucie is special, and you can’t replace that. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone who fits you perfectly. That’s Lucie for me. And you better believe I know how lucky I am.

permanent chastity

The Question Every Guy Who Wants Permanent Chastity Should Ask Himself

By Chaste on Thursday, August 17, 2023

There is one question every guy who wants permanent chastity should ask himself, yet I suspect few do…

Why?

Why do I want this?

Sure, not every kinky act needs to be examined deeply. Take a foot fetish for example. Many sources I’m familiar with say among men especially, feet and objects associated with feet, are the most common sexual fetishes. The word “foot” was the most popular fetish term on Pornhub in 2022, and having a foot fetish doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with power exchanges or dominance and submission. A guy can love playing with a woman’s feet and find it sexually arousing without being submissive. This type of fetish doesn’t require deep introspection.

But like many other kink activities, I submit that the desire to wear a chastity device permanently and have someone enforce your chastity by holding the key is a kink or fetish that you should understand why you desire to experience it.

For one thing, knowing why you want to wear a chastity device helps you determine whether you truly want permanent chastity or whether relatively short periods of chastity from time to time might fit you better.

I think for many guys, permanent chastity is only an arousing fantasy, because I’ve heard and read so many stories from guys who, after a partner or other keyholder imposed it on them, they discovered they didn’t really want it at all. What was so hot and arousing to think about turned out to be far less enjoyable when the fantasy became reality. That’s why we so often hear in chastity circles, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Another reason every guy who wants to wear a chastity device permanently should examine and understand his motives is because the real motivation behind it could actually be something that could cause harm. This is especially true of one activity that many think (mistakenly I believe) relates directly to chastity, cuckolding.

I don’t see cuckolding relating directly to chastity in the sense it is not the logical next step for everyone in some chastity progression. I’m not shaming someone else’s kink, but cuckolding isn’t for me. No matter how long I practice chastity by wearing a chastity cage, I will never ask a woman to cuckold me. Nor would I seek a relationship with a woman who wanted that. It’s just not my thing. And I believe cuckolding, even for someone who asks for it, can be harmful.

On chastity forums, we usually find only those couples where cuckolding has worked out well. Both partners are happy with it. And it works for some. But I’ve also read many stories where cuckolding destroyed relationships when the bull or other third party lover simply replaced the cuckolded partner.

Also, I’ve read stories from so many men who say because they have a small penis, have ED, or something else where they can’t satisfy their partner sexually, they deserve to be locked in a chastity cage permanently and their partner deserves to get sexually satisfied by a more sexually capable man. That sounds awfully altruistic of them. But I often wonder if low self-esteem isn’t a part of the dynamic for these men. Maybe they crave humiliation because they believe they deserve to be humiliated. That’s not necessarily healthy.

And when I hear how they get off sexually from watching another man have sex with their partner or at least having her give them a blow by blow account of it later, I suspect maybe they care more about getting their fantasies enacted than they truly care about their partner. Maybe they aren’t so altruistic after all.

Seriously examining why we are doing something isn’t something most of us enjoy or even want to do. But asking why we want permanent chastity and understanding the underlying reasons is something I think is important. Here is another common scenario.

A guy decides he wants his partner to keep him in chastity permanently. He works up the nerve to discuss it with her. At first, she is reluctant and doesn’t find it interesting at all. But he persuades her to try, and she agrees.

Suddenly, she discovers she actually enjoys keeping him locked. What started as a few days or a week, becomes several weeks, a month, and then several months. She realizes whenever she unlocks him and allows him sexual relief, for days afterward, his behavior isn’t nearly as pleasant and compliant as when she has kept him locked and denied for weeks on end. Soon, she grows reluctant to unlock him at all. And by then, he has learned that chastity and denial are hard, and the long stretches are not the wonderfully pleasurable experiences he had imagined. He doesn’t want to do it anymore.

This is a situation that can cause friction in a relationship. Maybe she feels he is now taking from her something positive that she has learned she wants. At the very least, he will find it much harder to convince her to ever try something new in the future.

Sometimes, no matter how certain you are that you want something like permanent chastity, you need to ask yourself hard questions and answer them honestly. This can save you, and sometimes your partner, much grief down the road.

Lucie has kept me locked for 42 days, the longest period yet since we’ve been together. And it seems there is no end in sight. In the next post, the tales of my adventures with Lucie returns. Tune in next time if you’re interested in learning how things are going on the Lucie front, and where it seems things are headed.

Teasing & Denial

She Loves These Edges

By Chaste on Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Lucie sets a lot of tasks for me to do for her. Amazingly, each task has been unique. I’ve yet to do the same one twice. Well, with one exception. Lucie makes me do a lot of edges, far more than I’ve ever done in my life. It wasn’t long after she became my keyholder, whenever I was edging, that this thought occurred to me. “She loves these edges.”

It isn’t unusual for a keyholder to require her charge to do edges. Just recently, I read an article that said edging is the most popular teasing technique used by chastity keyholders. I’ve had several remote keyholders who made me edge, but none were ever as enthusiastic about making me edge as Lucie is.

Though it seems unlikely that anyone reading this isn’t aware of what edging is, I’ll pause here to offer a simple definition. Edging is the practice of stopping sexual stimulation of the genitals, just short of reaching orgasm.

Some use the practice alone or with a partner to prolong a sexual experience and to build to a more intense orgasm through delay. But for those of us who wear a chastity device who have a keyholder controlling our orgasms, edging is a cruel teasing and denial technique often applied by touching a powerful vibrator against the chastity device cage.

I admit I have a love-hate relationship with edging. Yes, the stimulation from a vibrator against the cage feels intensely pleasurable and edging truly makes me insanely horny. But there is a downside. Edging also leaves me feeling maddeningly sexually frustrated when a session ends. Lucie, of course, knows this very well, which is why she makes me edge so often. In fact, she usually reserves two days each week only for edging. And sometimes, she whimsically texts me out of the blue and tells me to stop whatever I’m doing and to do some set number of edges for her entertainment.

In the past, I used a powerful corded Hitachi Magic Wand against the cage for edging. It is very intense with any cage, but especially so with the Kink3D Cobra I’m wearing now. Mostly, I did the number of edges Lucie prescribed with a 30-second pause between each one, and then texted her when I was done. Sometimes she required me to send her a video while I edged to prove I was doing “proper edges” by getting really close before stopping the stimulation.

Edging with the Hitachi makes the cage contents try to get hard, and the erections push the cage several inches away from my body, as far as the base ring around my balls allows. This causes the base ring to exert a lot of uncomfortable pressure on my balls, something Lucie never tires of hearing about. And usually, before I’ve completed the second of ever how many edges she has demanded, I’m leaking. That’s another thing Lucie loves, and something she demands to see when she requires videos.

But now, we’re doing the edges differently. Recently, Lucie told me she had a new idea for making edging much more fun. What Lucie calls a new “idea,” I affectionately term a new “devious scheme of torture.” But I never say it out loud. So, I was certain she meant a new idea for making edging much more fun for her to inflict on me. The new idea, as her new ideas often do, involved me adding a new item to my once modest sex toy collection that is now growing out of control like a California wildfire. The item she asked me to get was a new cordless wand vibrator.

“But I already have the Hitachi,” I countered cautiously. “And I doubt a cordless will be nearly as powerful as a corded Hitachi.”

“Yes, those are great, but this is a powerful cordless vibe,” said Lucie. “And I want it because I will be able to control it remotely with an app on my phone.”

Well, okay. I had to admit that part of it intrigued me. I already have some anal toys I bought at Lucie’s suggestion that she controls remotely with an app on her phone. And I sort of like it when we play with those. So I ordered the vibe she wanted. Have I mentioned that I have difficulty saying no to Lucie?

Anyway, now on the two days each week reserved for edging, Lucie controls everything. My role is to hold the vibrator against the cage where she wants it. Then, while monitoring the edging with a video call made from her Mac, she controls the intensity and the patterns of vibrations with the app on her phone. All well and good. I do like the new way since Lucie is edging me. It feels as real as it gets with virtual, and somehow it feels quite intimate. But, of course, Lucie the sadist, always has to push the envelope.

The first time we used this new edging method, she began by needlessly reminding me, “It’s your responsibility to tell me when you’re at the edge, so we stop in time. If you cum, that’s your fault, and I will punish you severely.”

Trust me. Lucie doesn’t use the term “severely” lightly. She means it. Harsh punishment. Punishment to an undesirably great or intense degree, usually directed at the most vulnerable part of my male anatomy.

“Yes, Mistress,” I said, already suspecting there was some cruel reason behind the needless reminder. The thin smile on her lips and that familiar look in her eyes suggested I was about to experience some new form of torture.

Lucie activated the vibe after directing me to press the massage head against the tip of the cage where it meets my balls, the place where I feel the vibrations most intensely. Maybe because I was already so horny combined with the novelty of Lucie edging me, I got to the first edge faster than usual.

“I’m close, Mistress, please stop.”

When the vibrations continued unabated, I glanced at the screen and that’s when I saw that smile. That smile that always strikes terror in my heart. That sadistic smile.

“How close?”

“I’m at the edge. Stop, please, Mistress.”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Grr… please stop, Mistress. Please!”

“Beg me to stop.”

Okay, I might have used some bad words, followed by some frantic begging, followed by a desperate shouted, “You’re going to make me cum if you don’t stop now!”

Mercifully, the vibrations stopped, but for a moment I feared not soon enough. I felt those little tremors in my groin that usually herald the start of the muscle contractions that occur at ejaculation. But, thankfully, I didn’t cum. I only leaked.

“Mistress, you almost made me cum,” I whinged.

“Why can’t you be a man for once in your life, sissy boy?” she retorted with an evil grin. “Exert some self-control.”

Seriously? Be a man for once in your life? Exert some self-control? That’s the same line she uses when I flinch whenever she makes me slap my balls with a riding crop while she watches on video calls. I knew with six edges to go that I was in for a long session. She loves these edges.