Cut to the Chaste

Acquiring a Taste for Humiliation Play

By Chaste on Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Before meeting Lucie, I wouldn’t have claimed that humiliation was a kink of mine. That, like so many things, since she became my keyholder, is changing. I think I am acquiring a taste for humiliation play.

While I was pretty active in the BDSM scene and before I developed an interest in wearing chastity devices, I had female dominants who sometimes required me to perform acts I found mildly humiliating. It wasn’t because I had asked for it, but because they enjoyed making me do things they knew I would find embarrassing and I hadn’t claimed it was a hard limit.

In my experience, dominant women (probably applies to most women), often understand men better than men understand themselves. Those women understood what I didn’t, that I would not only find the tasks they set for me embarrassing, but arousing. And no femdom I’ve ever known understands this connection between humiliation and male arousal better than Lucie.

When we first discussed Lucie becoming my keyholder, we discussed limits, things I would not do under any circumstances (hard limits), and things I didn’t really like doing but would do for her benefit if asked (soft limits).

Regarding humiliation, I told her I was fine with private humiliation, even though I didn’t think I found it particularly arousing. But I listed public humiliation as a hard limit for two reasons.

First, I just don’t think it’s right to inflict my personal kinks on third parties without their consent. Second, I had heard many horror stories about Mistresses setting public humiliation tasks for their submissives that terrified me.

One example I recall vividly is a task a Dominatrix gave her submissive to pee himself in a public outdoor place where other people were present so that his shame would be visible for all to see. To me, that was far closer to degradation than humiliation and not something I would even contemplate doing. So, not knowing Lucie well, but knowing she is a self-professed sadist, I wasn’t about to put public humiliation on the table. I’m not a masochist, not for physical pain, and certainly not for emotional pain.

Once we had sorted my limits, Lucie eased into humiliation play, beginning with verbal small penis humiliation (SPH). She would say things like my pathetically tiny dick should be permanently locked in a cage or that I shouldn’t care about getting erections because my dick was too small to satisfy any woman, anyway.

Okay, fair enough, except, Lucie had never seen my peen outside of a chastity device and did not know what size it was or whether I was a “shower” or a “grower.” So demeaning me for being “pathetically tiny” was a little ridiculous and not something I could take seriously. Not only did it not hurt my feelings, I had to exert the effort not to laugh out loud whenever she was going on about my tiny peen. Still, when I thought about it later, her words had made the contents of the cage twitch a little whenever she said things like that.

Next came panties. I’ve never been interested in cross-dressing and I don’t have a panties fetish. Wearing women’s underwear is not something I would find arousing if I did it voluntarily. However, being made to wear panties by a dominant woman is something I find weirdly arousing because I find it mildly embarrassing, especially when she makes me appear on a video call or send her a photo when I’m wearing them. Having an insanely attractive woman seeing me in panties multiplies the embarrassment and then having to admit I like her seeing me wearing panties is even more embarrassing and so arousing. And it also makes me feel submissive.

Whenever I fail to complete one of her assignments to Lucie’s strict standards, she often threatens to make me throw out all my male underwear and wear only panties. But so far, she only makes me wear panties one entire day each week, the day she sets aside for humiliation play. On that one day each week, she usually gave me an assignment that I had to perform during a video call for her entertainment.

Riding a suction cup realistic dildo attached to a chair while naked except for the chastity cage is one recent example. With that sadistic smile on her lips the entire time, that always strikes terror in my heart, Lucie shouted encouragement like, “Good, girl. Keep taking the whole thing.” Yes, I found it humiliating, but I admit also wildly arousing, which felt even more shameful.

Despite all the private humiliation acts Lucie has made me do for her amusement, I know what she really wants is to convince me to abandon my public humiliation hard limit. She has never brought it up or asked me to drop the limit. But recently, Lucie has given me tasks that go right to the edge of the limit’s line without actually crossing it. She is definitely pushing the limit.

Partly, I think it is because she wants to keep things fun and interesting for both of us. But I also think she wants me to progress to where I will do anything she tells me to do without question or hesitation. Regarding humiliation, I think she is circling me like a shark smelling blood in the water, that it is something I find far more arousing than I’ve admitted and a weakness prime for her to exploit.

As an example of one of the recent acts she made me do, Lucie told me to go to a public outdoor space, to take off my clothes, so that I was wearing only the chastity cage, and to take a photo and send it to her to prove I had done it. She stressed it had to be a public space and she would not accept it if I tried to do the assignment at home or on anyone’s private property. Wait, what?

“That’s public humiliation, and I already told you that’s a hard limit,” I protested.

“No,” Lucie countered. “It is in public, but if you’re careful and choose the place wisely, no one will see you. I mean, probably no one will.”

As viable locations that might work with only a tiny possibility someone would see me went through my mind, I felt myself weakening. I admit I find it very difficult to say no to Lucie. Probably to my detriment. So, with reluctance, I finally agreed to do it. I spent a lot of time reconnoitering potential locations because I’m serious about not involving non-consenting third parties in my kinks. And I’m averse to getting arrested for indecent exposure.

Finally, I settled on an outdoor place that was public, a local state park, but where I felt the risk of anyone seeing me was infinitesimally small. I set up my phone camera with a shutter delay of 10 seconds. After looking all around for the thousandth time, I hastily stripped off my shorts, panties, and tee shirt. I pushed the button on the phone camera and hurried into position. As I watched the numbers ticking off on the phone screen; 9… 8…7…, it turned out to be the longest 10 seconds of my life. Finally, I heard the little shutter sound when the camera snapped the photo.

Quickly dressing again, without bothering to put the panties back on to save precious seconds, I looked all around and felt palpable relief at seeing there was no one in sight. I quickly checked the photo, confirming it would pass muster with Lucie, and then, the lacy thong panties balled in my fist, I strode briskly back to where I’d parked the car.

Thankfully, I met no one along the way because I’m sure my face was beet red and anyone would have deduced easily I’d been up to something dodgy. I got in the car and sped away from the area. My breathing and heart rate only returned to normal once I was a mile down the road. Then, I realized something. While the task had felt absurdly risky, now that I had done it, I felt horny AF and sublimely submissive. And such is the stuff erotic humiliation is made of.

Since the day at the park, I have, at Lucie’s command, done more tasks in both indoor and outdoor public spaces. They all have involved getting naked, and often things like anal toys or wearing lingerie. Lucie has always stopped just short of crossing the line of my hard limit boundary, citing minimal risk of me being seen or it’s a public place, but with some measure of privacy, such as a stall inside a public toilet or department store fitting room. But I feel sure I know where she is going with this.

Strangely enough, I feel okay with it and no longer protest. I can’t deny how it seems I’m acquiring a taste for public humiliation play because of the intense arousal and feelings of submissiveness it provokes. Yes, I have done things for Lucie I had never imagined doing. But, I will tell you this. I AM NOT peeing myself in public! That’s where I’m drawing a line in the sand. You hear that, Lucie? I will not pee myself in public!

enforced male chastity

Life In the Fast Lane

By Chaste on Thursday, July 27, 2023

“Life in the fast lane

Surely make you lose your mind.”

– Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”

Guys! Guys! Can you believe it? It’s only two days and a few hours until the end of Chastity 90! Well, at least for me and anyone who took up the challenge when I did back on the first day of May. If you did, or if you started the challenge a little later as I know a few guys did, I hope you’ve been successful. I suppose I have no reason to celebrate since, according to Lucie, I won’t be getting a release any time soon even when my Chastity 90 ends.

Speaking of Lucie, she has teased me with a vengeance since returning from vacation, giving me a task to complete every single day. It’s life in the fast lane. I suspect she wants me to suffer as much as possible until the end of Chastity 90. Of course, she is only making it more enjoyable and making the days pass faster by keeping my arousal level peaking continuously.

My dedication to completing the task list she left me before going on vacation impressed Lucie. She has “rewarded” me by telling me she will keep me locked a lot longer this time. For how long, I have no clue. Now that I’m accomplished with prostate milking, she is no longer concerned with making me unlock periodically for health and safety reasons. Lucie has also added another wrinkle to our relationship.

While I’ve been a distance runner since my junior high days, I’ve really slacked on working out for about the last year and a half. I blame it on the effects of the pandemic hangover. Slacking, combined with my love of beer and pizza has caused me to develop something of a belly. Lucie has informed me she wants the belly gone. She says she doesn’t expect six-pack abs, but does expect a flat belly. She even sent me a workout schedule and told me to consider it a task and it’s not optional.

To start, it was all aerobic with three days of running and two days of cycling with gradually increasing distances for both. But she added some weight training to the mix after the second week ended. I’m happy to do what she wants; even grateful she has taken an interest in helping me drop some weight and get fit again. Since I haven’t had the motivation to lose weight and improve my fitness lately, I appreciate that Lucie is now providing me some motivation. Fair is fair since I neglected to put forced exercise on my hard limits list. 🙂

Anyway, after less than three full weeks, I have already dropped a few pounds and lost more than an inch around my waist. Based on experience, getting rid of the beer gut will take some time. It seems belly fat is always the last to go for me. But it will happen eventually. Happily, Lucie hasn’t taken my beer away completely, just made me cut back. And she says she won’t take the beer away completely as long as I continue showing consistent weekly progress. I’m also grateful for that. After all, without beer, what’s the point to life?

I find it hard to believe Lucie and I have been playing together for almost three months. Back in May, when I decided I wanted a virtual key holder again for a while, I expected to do a month, maybe two, and then to go back to self-locking. But, oh my. I’ve had the privilege of having had several terrific key holders. But Lucie is definitely in a class by herself. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to self-locking. At least not as long as Lucie is willing to continue.

She has warned me from the start that there is only so much you can do virtually and sooner or later one or both of us will grow bored and we’ll have to stop. But I’m no where close to that and Lucie doesn’t seem to be either. The new fitness thing has given me a reason to hope that we will continue for the foreseeable future. That’s because it may not be optional for me to exercise, but it really isn’t just a task. It’s Lucie requiring greater commitment from me. Why would she want that if she was feeling bored? I dread the day it does end with us and being a realist, I know Lucie isn’t wrong. But after Lucie, I know I’ll never find another key holder that suits me so perfectly. I don’t obsess about it, but I hope Lucie doesn’t grow bored any time soon. I know I won’t grow bored with her. Like ever. She is that amazing as a Mistress.

enforced male chastity

Down the Enforced Chastity Submissive Rabbit Hole

By Chaste on Sunday, July 16, 2023

A survey conducted in Europe and the U.S. found that only ten percent of men preferred to be submissive to a partner. The majority preferred the dominant role, especially in the bedroom. What’s wrong with being a submissive man? Does a desire for enforced chastity mean you’re submissive?

It started with doing the thing she told me to do that I didn’t want to do. I knew doing it would not turn me on. I knew having to do it would make me angry. But even though I briefly considered arguing and even refusing to do the thing, I just did it. No, it didn’t turn me on, and yes, I was angry the entire time I was doing it. But when I finished the assignment, something struck me like a lightning bolt. For the first time in my life, I had authentically submitted to a dominant woman.

Oh, I have submitted to dominant women before, even long before I felt the attraction to chastity. But I’d only faked it to get what I wanted. It had only been role play. But this was different. I had truly submitted to Lucie and allowed her to bend my will to her will. And what surprised me the most was just how damn good it felt.

I have never believed that desiring enforced chastity means a guy is submissive. I don’t think anyone could make the argument that allowing someone to lock up your cock and keep the keys isn’t a textbook definition of a submissive act. But performing a one- off submissive act doesn’t make a person submissive. And I still don’t believe you must be a submissive man to desire having a keyholder lock your penis in a chastity cage and then make all decisions about when or if they unlock you.

We all have our reasons for wanting to experience enforced chastity. I believe there are guys without a submissive bone in their bodies who can still enjoy being “forced” to wear a chastity cage. But what Lucie taught me that day was an authentic dominant woman who knows how to push all the right buttons could access a submissive part of my nature that I had never believed existed.

Lucie didn’t coerce me or manipulate me into submitting. She had conditioned me over the weeks leading up to that moment of true submission to desire to please her more than I wanted to avoid doing a thing I knew offered no benefit to me and that even annoyed me. That is how dominance and submission works. With each predatory smile, she had drawn me in, deeper down the submissive rabbit hole. With each “good boy” she had spoken when I had completed a task she had assigned to her liking, I wanted to please her even more. Each time she raised me to new heights of horniness, I grew ever more addicted to the high of constant, intense arousal.

I will never feel submissive to every woman, not even every dominant woman. But I am submissive to Lucie, and I find it magically pleasurable and meaningful. She isn’t playing a role. Lucie is a Mistress, my Mistress, and she is in control. I want her to control. I want to see where it leads.

As I was finishing this post, Lucie texted to tell me she’s home from vacation. Then she texted something else.

“I know your Chastity 90 thing ends in two weeks. But there is something you should know. Just because you chose to remain celibate for 90 days doesn’t mean I plan to let you cum when it ends. I haven’t even thought about when I’ll let you cum. If… I let you.”

Oh my! That is just so freaking hot. And I’m so glad Lucie is back.

enforced male chastity

Is Male Chastity Just Plain Old Orgasm Denial?

By Chaste on Thursday, July 6, 2023

Is male chastity just plain old orgasm denial? Sometimes people who blog about male chastity, even those who are among the most experienced get things so wrong and I feel compelled to disagree.

Recently, I read posts from two different guys who blog about male chastity that I follow. Both said pretty much the same thing, and I feel compelled to go on the record here saying I disagree with what they both wrote.

I’m not throwing shade. I’m not naming names because that isn’t important. What is important is pointing out wrong thinking and why it’s wrong. I have tremendous respect for both guys who have practiced chastity a lot longer than I have and consider them both mentors of sorts even though I’ve never actually met either of them. But sometimes you can do a thing so long that you start to think you know way more about it than anyone else and anyone who doesn’t see the thing as you do is just wrong. Sorry, that kind of attitude is what’s wrong.

Do you know why I practice chastity by wearing a cage on my dick and why I find it so meaningful? I doubt that you do, even if you visit this blog regularly and the statistics Google makes available to me show this blog gets a lot of repeat visitors. So, what makes one person believe they can tell another person they don’t even know that chastity means only one thing and that applies universally. I’m more than certain these two guys know what chastity means to them. They should since they have been doing it as long as they have. But knowing what a thing means to you and looking at it through the lens you do, isn’t anything close to being some universal truth that applies to everyone else.

In the same way, I understand how I look at chastity, how I practice it, and why I practice it doesn’t apply to anyone but little old me. It would never occur to me to claim otherwise. Now, let’s delve into a few of those things I disagree with.

A Guy in Chastity Can’t Call Himself Chaste

Drilling down to the technical factual bedrock, the universally accepted definition of “chaste” is “abstaining from sexual intercourse.” Some who practice chastity for moral or religious reasons expand the definition to also include abstaining from masturbation. I have been pussy-free and proud since the end of my last relationship, which not uncoincidentally pretty much corresponds with when I first dipped a toe into the calming waters of male chastity. And for the lion’s share of time that I’ve worn cock cages, I have also abstained from masturbation. So, if I’m not chaste, just what they hell would you call it?

Without getting into the weeds on this issue, depending on whose opinion you subscribe to, there are now somewhere between 72 and 81 genders. And in the Western society we now inhabit, an individual can simply choose to identify as any gender that makes them feel most comfortable about their own body, that most closely aligns with how they perceive their sexuality, or that they feel most accurately meets their personal definition of gender nirvana. So, you’re going to tell me a guy in chastity can’t call himself chaste? Seriously? On what grounds and whose authority? That’s just fucking silly.

Being chaste isn’t like being a virgin. Once you lose your virginity, it’s gone, baby, gone. You aren’t getting that shit back. But you can be chaste whenever you’re abstaining from sexual intercourse and for some, masturbation, even if it’s only for a day or two or even a few hours. Chaste is freaking chaste. If you get laid or decide to wank and then later you get back into chastity and again abstain from sex, then you’re right back in the state of chasteness. You can enter it, leave it, return to it, whenever you wish. It’s nothing like getting your cherry popped.

It’s the Orgasm Denial Stupid

The second thing I read and disagreed with is we shouldn’t even use terms like chastity device or enforced male chastity because that isn’t the point of letting someone lock up your dick. The point is the orgasm denial, which enforces the power dynamic in a relationship that doesn’t allow the wearer to get pleasure from his penis. You aren’t chaste and you aren’t practicing chastity. I readily see how that’s how some guys see it. That a cock cage is just a tool used to enforce orgasm denial and it’s really the denial that powers the dynamic.

You can’t minimize the importance of the orgasm denial piece because without it, you likely couldn’t get a guy to wear a chastity cage even if you put a gun to his head. It’s the denial that produces all those touchy, feely hormone cocktails that make chastity pleasurable and that produces the bone crushing frustration that locked guys experience at times. But to use an analogy, denial is only the fuel, not the vehicle. The chastity device and the practice of chastity is the damn car and denial is only what powers it and makes it go. You don’t need a chastity device or even need to practice chastity mindfully in order to experience orgasm denial. Female doms were subjecting me to orgasm denial long before the first mass-produced crude chastity cages appeared on the scene. Spoiler alert. Denial works and feels exactly the same without a cage.

Those who see orgasm denial as the only point to wearing a chastity cage see the practice mostly as just another kink. Nothing wrong with that. But demanding everyone accept your perspective is simply ridiculous.

Enforced Chastity Doesn’t Exist

The last statement I’ll disagree with is the notion that enforced chastity doesn’t exist. Say what? The argument given is no one is actually forcing you to stay locked. You could remove the device even without the key anytime you wished, even if you had to use tools and destroy it. It isn’t enforced chastity because you have agreed to have your dick locked in a cage and at any time, you could just demand to be unlocked and say you didn’t want to play anymore. If all that is true, which it fucking isn’t, then what would be the point of having a keyholder? Why not just lock and unlock yourself whenever the mood struck. I guarantee you will get pretty much the same effects from orgasm denial if you’re self-locked as you get from someone else locking you and holding the keys.

Of course, this is and must be a consensual deal. If some random woman, a stranger, walked up to me and asked to lock my dick in a chastity cage, as a sentient being I’d probably politely decline. Probably. You sort of need to know a little about a person before you transfer that kind of power to them. So, yeah, you are only locked when you consent to it. But once you’ve reached an agreement with a keyholder and you’re locked, it gets real. You aren’t in control anymore, the keyholder is and they are damn well enforcing your chastity. Sure, you could cut the thing off or maybe even just find a way to slip it off and you could tell the keyholder you don’t want to play anymore. But as long as the game is afoot, you my friend are serving a stint in enforced chastity.

There were several other silly statements made in those blog posts I could take to task, but I won’t. I think I’ve made my point. You’re experiences and motivations are not my experiences and motivations. And neither are they likely anyone else’s experiences or motivations. So, take a step back and don’t try to tell me the “true meaning” of chastity, according to you. It only makes you look foolish. And, I will extend the same courtesy and won’t press you to accept my opinions as facts, because they’re not.

So, What the Fuck is Chasity About?

That, my friend, is completely up to you. If it’s about orgasm denial for you, that’s terrific. For other guys chastity can be about submission, pain, teasing, or even about bondage. In short, chastity is quite versatile. Chastity is the control of orgasm, and even more specifically, it’s the denial of orgasm. But it’s not just about denial. It’s a freaking perverted buffet.

Chastity requires some mental or emotional commitment. Otherwise, a mere plastic or steel device is never going to stop someone from removing it to gain sexual pleasure. Chastity cages are not magic. No device, even the most expensive meticulously fitted chastity belts are truly inescapable. With the motivation and perhaps a few power tools, a guy determined to escape and willing to destroy the device, if need be, will always escape. Chastity devices are actually more a symbol than anything else. They represent that mental or emotional commitment I spoke of. It’s a way to tell your keyholder you’re serious about chastity and giving up control.

I get far more from chastity, especially enforced chastity, than just the experience of orgasm control. If that’s all I wanted, I wouldn’t waste money on chastity devices. I love the submission to Lucie. I love the power exchange dynamic. And yes, I love how the denial provokes the production and circulation in my brain all those amazing chemicals that produce such pleasurable feelings. The truth is, ejaculation has never been my favorite part of sex or masturbation. What I love are those moments right before ejaculation. That’s the pleasure I crave, where I feel like I’m standing on a mountain peak at the edge of an abyss. And chastity helps me go there over and over again with no pesky refractory periods. Lucie can take me there whenever it strikes her fancy and it always strikes mine.

Chastity is about what it is about to you. Never let someone tell you what you should think it’s about or what you should believe it means. You’re an adult human. Think for yourself.

male chastity

Honor Chastity Revisted

By Chaste on Monday, July 3, 2023

While it is beginning to sound (and feel) a little redundant, it’s time for another episode of honor chastity revisted. So, in this post, I’ll also cover some other things.

Back to Honor Chastity. Again.

While I had felt cautiously optimistic that Lucie might allow me to finish Chastity 90 locked, it was not to be. After eighteen days this time, she surprised me this morning by telling me to unlock for 72 hours. And she surprised me again with a week-long self-teasing schedule for me to do while she is away on a two-week summer vacation that she left on this afternoon.

The schedule has a different assignment for each day of the week, and I will repeat it next week. That, according to Lucie, should keep my arousal peaking until she returns from vacation. And she didn’t want me to feel locked and forgotten when I’m re-locked in a few days.

I know from experience while self-locking that the effectiveness of self-teasing can feel less than optimum. But this feels different since Lucie created the assignments and, frankly, they seem quite interesting.

Other than the requirement to perform edges on two different days each week, none of the other tasks are things she has given me to do before. And, I appreciate she spent the time and energy to create something to help maintain my focus while she is away. Lucie had already told me not to expect our usual daily interaction while she was on vacation, so I’d had been dreading a Lucie-less fortnight. Maybe the assignment schedule will help the time pass more quickly.

Update on My Kink3D Cobra N Device Experience

After spending another eighteen days in my Kink3D Cobra N chastity device, I feel compelled to update my experience with it. Love. Love. Love it. This may be my favorite long-term chastity device ever.

As a die-hard stainless steel device fan since my salad days with chastity devices, I admit I once felt pretty dismissive of plastic cages. Some of the great resin cages I’ve tried out for reviews had slowly chipped away at my disdain for plastic devices, but I give full credit to Kink3D’s 3D-printed nylon device for winning me over. I still love the weight and feel of my custom-made stainless-steel devices, and I’ll wear those again sometimes. But the last eighteen days convinced me that the Cobra might be the best long-term device option currently available.

There are three things I demand from a chastity device for long-term wear: fit, comfort, and ease of maintaining acceptable hygiene. The Cobra earned high marks in all three areas during my 18-day locked period.

First, the device felt completely comfortable. Usually when I’m wearing any device, especially when I first wake up in the morning, I feel some slight discomfort where the base ring runs beneath my balls. I attribute this to the changes the testicles undergo when a penis owner becomes sexually aroused.

Researchers tell us the testicles increase in size (not quite double) and move closer to the base of the penis to prepare for ejaculation when desire becomes arousal. So, when a guy wakes up with morning wood (or the attempt at morning wood for those of us wearing a chastity device) the conditions are ripe for these changes to occur. The increased size narrows the “ball gap” and the barrier the ring provides that keeps the testicles from rising closer to the base of the penis combine to produce the uncomfortable feeling of tightness.

While I can’t say it is painful, I find it uncomfortable enough to find it annoying. So, usually, the first thing I do every morning when locked is to step into the shower and spray hot water on my balls with the handheld until the heat forces them to descend further from my body to maintain optimum temperature. Not once during the past eighteen days did I experience this discomfort while wearing the Cobra. I can’t explain why, but my morning shower routine became unnecessary. And that’s only one reason I found the Cobra so incredibly comfortable to wear.

Now, let’s talk about hygiene. By design, the Cobra cage is an open-style cage. It comes very close to how open my favorite stainless-steel devices are. That allows me to clean the cage and contents thoroughly using soap and my handheld shower head. And when I removed the cage after eighteen days, I detected none of the funky odor you get with chastity cages that are difficult to clean while wearing them. Also, the skin of my penis was in pristine condition with no dryness or other issues.

While the Kink3D “airlock” performed flawlessly, I found it nearly impossible to thread the “shackle” end of the plastic lock through the locking housing of the device after mating the cage and base ring. The plastic is very stiff and it resists bending to slip through the small hole at the end of the housing. When I searched the web for a solution I found only a video that suggested threading the plastic lock through backwards instead of the way intended. That was easier, but it leaves the printed numbers facing down instead of up where the keyholder can read them. I felt sure Lucie would not be impressed with that.

After some experimentation, I stumbled on a very simple, and easy solution. I’ll make a video instruction when I have time since I’m not sure how clearly I can explain it using only text. But, you thread the free end of the plastic lock along the airlock as usual. It lays in a small channel and the tip goes through a tiny hole at the far end of the plastic pin. Then you join the cage with the base ring, but only the tab portion at the top of the cage with the hole through it that fits into the center of the base ring receiver. Tilt the nose of the cage up slightly to keep the tabs on each side away from where they snap into the base ring. Then, clamping that center tab and the base ring receiver together with the thumb and index finger of your right hand, insert just the tip of the locking pin into the lock opening and thread the end of the plastic lock through the hole in the center tab with your left hand fingers. You can then easily grab the free end of the lock and pull it through the partially open receiver housing to where it needs to be. Then, snap the cage and base ring together properly and push the plastic locking pin completely into the receiver and you’re ready to lock. It’s incredibly easy to do this way while trying to do it the way many videos on the webs show it is nearly impossible. It isn’t so difficult when you’re holding the device in your hand like they do on the videos. But using that method when you are wearing the device is a different matter.

Male Call Addendum - Cherry Keeper Ball Gap Question

After publishing the “Mall Call” post last time, I received another question from a blog follower about Cherry Keeper chastity devices and I didn’t want to delay answering it. Nikos wrote to say he has decided he wants a Cherry Keeper device. But since he has “high and tight” balls, he is concerned about the width of the “ball gap” and wanted to know whether the manufacturer offers options for a device with the wider gap.

Thanks for the question, Nikos. You called the device you are considering “Cherry Picker” but I am assuming you meant “Cherry Keeper” since you referred to the review I posted on that device. I know some international manufacturers have copied the Cherry Keeper design and are now selling counterfeit devices, and one such manufacturer in China calls its device “Cherry Picker.” So, I can’t be sure whether you spoke of the authentic device designed by Josielynn Jewell that she sells through her Shapeways.com Josielynn’s Body Jewelry shop, or one of the copied devices. Nevertheless, what I can tell you would apply, regardless.

The design of the Cherry Keeper (and devices copying the original design) along with 3D-printing technology doesn’t allow for adjustments to the ball gap width. 3D-printing is not cheap. Profit comes from mass producing items based on a single design as it would be cost prohibitive to offer customization to individuals down to the level of ball gap width of a chastity device. Not to say there aren’t some variances of ball gap width. But the Cherry Keeper (and copiers of the design) rely on the same method as a company like Kink3D to offer narrower or wider ball gaps. Ball gap is a function of base ring size, which isn’t a perfect method.

The authentic Cherry Keeper now comes in about three dozen different models, all called “Cherry Keeper.” So, I just selected a representative model, the Cherry Keeper Standard. Here is a list of the ball gap measurements by base ring size.

Ball Gap Spacing (static):
36mm ring: 10.9 mm
38mm ring: 11.6 mm
40mm ring: 12.5 mm
42mm ring: 13.6 mm
44mm ring: 15.0 mm
46mm ring: 16.5 mm
48mm ring: 18.2 mm
50mm ring: 20.0mm

Source: Josielynn’s Body Jewelry

Here is why this isn’t a perfect method. Say you know a 40mm base ring is the perfect size for you, but you feel a 12.5 mm gap is too narrow for your physiology. To get a wider gap, you would have to try a larger than perfect-sized ring. Maybe the 42mm or 44mm, or something even larger.

The problem is, if you go too much larger than what is your optimum size, you may experience problems with a testicle popping out of the base ring when wearing the device. But if you truly need a wider gap, using a bigger ring than you actually want is the only solution.

My ideal base ring size is 42mm and so with the Cherry Keeper I get a 13.6 mm ball gap. That’s roughly 9/16 inch using imperial units of measurement. While that is a bit over 1/2 inch, I still find it works for me with the Cherry Keeper, even though I usually have ball-slippage issues with devices having a gap that wide. I too have high and tight balls and a 3/8 inch (9.525 mm) gap works perfectly for me.

Since I can’t imagine anyone has balls that are higher and tighter than mine, I’m curious how you know you need a wider gap than the usual set by the manufacturer? That’s because ball gap is impossible to measure, meaning measuring ourselves the way we measure length and girth of the penis and circumference of a circle around the penis base and behind the scrotum for base ring sizing. Personal experience, I imagine. Like I once tried a device with a 1/4 inch gap and within minutes, it felt like the base ring was crushing my balls. And I’ve tried several devices with a 1/2 inch gap and one of my testicles always popped out of the ring. After trying multiple devices with 3/8 inch gaps, I learned that was my ideal ball gap measurement.

Anyway, I’d suggest visiting the Josielynn’s Body Jewelry website, https://www.shapeways.com/shops/josielynn-s-body-jewellery and reviewing the specifications for the specific model you are interested in. If you’re considering a knock-off, then just take a look at the website and choose the model that looks most similar to what you’re thinking of getting. Those who copy designs from other manufacturers almost always buy and then reverse engineer an original they intend to copy. So, I have high confidence the measurements will be exactly the same. Then, if you believe you know your ideal ball gap, try a base ring size that’s closest to the gap width you need. The Cherry Keeper base rings are relatively cheap (around $20), so maybe try two or three to see what works best.

chastity device wear

Mail Call: Urethral Chastity Devices Question

By Chaste on Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Welcome to another edition of mail call where I do my best to answer questions from readers of this blog. The question today is about urethral chastity devices.

Don, a new visitor to the site, is getting back into chastity. He asked about my take on catheter use with a chastity cage. These devices, sometimes called urethral chastity cages, include either a rigid, all metal catheter or a length of silicone tubing with metal connections with friction ridges that slide into the tubing at each end. First, welcome to the site, Don. I hope you find something of value here and I appreciate you sending me the question.

It seems, based on the discussions I’ve seen on various chastity forums recently, urethral chastity cages have quite a following because of the popularity of “flat” micro-chastity devices. Also, many who use catheters believe it is a way of making the cage more secure for those who want increased security but have no interest in getting a PA piercing. I can imagine having a catheter inserted in the penis does at least make it more difficult to withdraw the penis from the back of the device. Yet, the truth is, no chastity cage is completely secure. Ball trap device security, even with a PA attachment is mostly fantasy. With the motivation, and in some cases proper tools, a person can escape from any locked chastity device.

Let me say here at the beginning, I have never worn a urethral chastity device. I once bought a micro-chastity device that came with one, but after inspecting the catheter, I tossed it. It was one of those with a length of tubing with metal connectors at the ends. No way was I going to shove that inside my dick.

Maybe they work fine and the fitting at the end you insert into your urethra will never come loose from the tubing. But I’m a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Losing one of those steel connections inside the urethra means an embarrassing and expensive visit to the emergency room and hoping a doctor can extract it without surgery. Nope, not going there.

If I was keen to try a urethral chastity device, which I’m not, the only type I’d try is one with a rigid, one-piece, medical grade stainless-steel catheter. But that’s another problem. With most of the urethral cages coming from China, how can you be sure what kind of metal they make the catheter from (or the attachable ends for those with plastic tubing)? You can’t. I did come across a U.S. company that sells after-market chastity cage catheters they claim are made from medical grade stainless steel and medical grade silicone tubing for the types with the connectors at each end. I’d be more inclined to check out that company thoroughly and then buy the catheter from them if I felt satisfied that the company seemed trustworthy.

To be honest, I think people interested in urethral chastity cages probably are more into the fetish aspect of sticking things into their dicks than looking for added security. It’s actually a common fetish and there are all kinds of things designed for those who are into it, such as; urethral sounds, penis plugs, etc. And it’s classified as serious kink play that’s best left to people who know what the hell they are doing.

Also, I recently read a medical paper on the topic of some mentally ill people with penises who stick things like pencils, wooden matches, nails, wire, and screws inside their dicks with the intention of injuring themselves, and then they appear at an emergency room regularly for treatment of injuries or help extracting an object stuck inside their penis.

Getting back to Murphy’s Law, I can think of plenty that could go wrong using a urethral chastity cage. I will even discount the chance of one of those detachable friction connectors getting lost inside one’s dick. Here are a few other risks.

Urinary tract infection (UTI) anyone? I’m pretty sure I remember a post on Thumper’s blog about how he got a UTI after trying out a cage with a catheter that ended with a trip to the emergency room. And from what I’ve read on chastity forums, that is quite common. The urethral opening of a penis stays closed unless discharging fluids for a reason. It helps keep bacteria out of the urethra. Bacteria getting into the urethra is what causes UTIs. When you insert something into your pee hole, even if it is sterile going in, it still provides a pathway for bacteria.

When medical professionals prescribe catheters for patients who need them for medical reasons, they instruct patients to carefully clean around the urethral opening and the exposed portion of the catheter daily. That is to lower the risk of getting a UTI. A chastity cage would make it difficult if not impossible to do this effectively each day without removing the cage first. And the designs I’ve seen make me think you might also have to remove the catheter to clean it and reinsert it daily as well.

Next up on our Murphy’s list is penile necrosis (gangrene of the penis), which medical professionals say is one of the risks that comes from inserting a foreign object into the penis. That can cause an infected injury to the delicate urethral tissue. This can result in acute urinary retention, septic shock with multiple organ failure, and the spread of penile gangrene to the scrotum and fascia (Fournier gangrene). It is treatable if a person seeks medical help in time, but depending on the treatment required, that can produce erectile dysfunction, chronic pain syndrome, or penile deformity. It’s rare, but penile necrosis can happen from an accidental injury.

Fistulae wounds are another possibility when putting stuff into the urethra. These are traumatic injuries that often result in infections and painful inflammation. Forcing something, particularly something too large into your urethra could cause such injuries. And like most off-the-shelf chastity devices, those with catheters come with one-size-fits-all catheters.

Although there are other possible medical complications from inserting foreign objects into the urethra through the penis, urethral strictures are the last Murphy’s possibility we’ll consider. Urethral strictures occur when scarring occurs inside the urethra, narrowing it, and impairing the flow of urine from the bladder. This can cause leaking urine, incontinence, infections of the urethra and bladder, or chronic renal failure. Medical catheter insertion is one of the most common causes of urethral strictures. How much riskier might sex toy catheters be?

So, Don, probably more than you wanted to know, but I would not use a chastity cage with a catheter nor would I recommend it. Too much could go wrong. When I look at the risk-reward ratio, I don’t see enough benefits to justify the risks.

male chastity and health

I Got Milk

By Chaste on Friday, June 23, 2023

Lucie shines again, guiding me through a successful prostate milking session. I got milk!

Knowing I long for longer locked periods, Lucie recently told me if I was willing and able to learn to milk my prostate, she would allow longer periods between unlocks. At first, the idea did not buoy my hopes of spending longer periods locked. I told her I was happy to try to learn to milk my prostate, but that I’d tried it many times in the past without much real success. She suggested that I get a stainless-steel, double-ended dildo, the Njoy Pure Wand. While a little pricey, Lucie said that it was the best prostate stimulation toy available and most guys who had tried the wand had learned how to milk themselves successfully and reliably.

I had seen the Pure Wand before on sex toy retailer sites and I knew they cost more than a hundred dollars. But Lucie seemed so confident it would work. While I don’t usually spend that much for a manual toy that isn’t a chastity device, I agreed to get one.

Lucie warned me that there are foreign companies who make and sell cheap knock-offs on Amazon manufactured from cheap steel they chrome to give the appearance of stainless-steel, and told me not to get one of those. So, I went direct to Njoy to buy mine. The price was $120 which was a little cheaper than some retailers advertise them for and a few bucks more than others. But the price was definitely mid-range and I knew I’d get the real deal, an actual Pure Wand made from surgical grade stainless-steel.

The toy arrived yesterday and I was impressed with it right out of the box. Polished to a bright shiny gloss, the Pure Wand weighs in at a hefty 1.51 lbs. (680 gr.). While the wand has a length of 8 inches (200 mm), since it is curved, the insertion length is somewhat less. But there is plenty of insertion length since the prostate is only 3-4 inches inside the rectum. Some guys can reach it with a finger. The tapered tips extend to a 1.5 inches (38mm) diameter ball on one end and to a 1 inch (25mm) diameter ball on the smaller end.

The large end looked a little intimidating since I’ve never inserted anything that large into my butt before and seem to have more trouble inserting round objects than tapered. The weight of the thing impressed me the most. After reading several online reviews from guys who had tried the Pure Wand, I found they all had the same opinion. Not only was the Pure Wand the best P-spot stimulation toy available, the weight was part of its magic. They claimed the weight did the heavy lifting as far as keeping the balls in firm contact with the prostate when inserted.

I texted Lucie yesterday day afternoon to tell her the Pure Wand had landed. Because of the difference in our respective time zones, she had already gone to bed. She texted me back this morning, eager to give the Pure Wand a spin. We scheduled a video call so she could guide me through it. I was grateful for that since the toy doesn’t come with any instructions. I had picked up a few things from the reviews I’d read, but still wasn’t sure exactly how to use the wand for the first time. Lucie, however, seemed to know all about them and that I think saved me from muddling through a steep learning curve. After we agreed on a time for a video call, I cleaned the new toy thoroughly, cleaned my butt, and got lubed up. Lucie called a short time later and we were ready to launch.

We experimented with three different positions for me and I settled on lying on my left side with my right leg lifted and heel resting on the high foot board of my bed. That felt the most comfortable to me and gave me easy access to my butt. I then put more lube on the smaller end of the wand and inserted it. It went in very smoothly and easily. The stainless steel is silky smooth and with the lube the toy is very slippery. Inside, it feels more comfortable than any of the butt toys I own with the possible exception of my smooth Pyrex glass dildo.

Lucie told me to locate the P-spot and then to move the wand in and out and side to side to see which felt most pleasurable. I did that for about five minutes as a warm-up. The small end felt best when I used a slow in and out motion. Because of the weight, I only had to control the outside end I used as a grip as the weight of the toy applied the perfect amount of pressure on my P-spot. Lucie kept asking what I was feeling sensation wise and after five minutes, she was ready to step up to the larger end. The small end felt wonderful, but I didn’t feel I was making any progress toward our objective.

After cleaning the lube from the small end, I applied more lube to the large end. You don’t want the thing covered with lube because it makes the heavy wand so slippery you can’t keep a proper grip on it.

The large end made it past the first sphincter with only a little difficulty, but when it reached the second, deeper sphincter, it was a no-go. Again, Lucie talked me through it, telling me to relax and breath deeply. And as I did so and kept slight pressure on the outside end of the wand, after maybe 90 seconds the large ball suddenly popped inside with zero discomfort. Not only did I not feel any discomfort, even before I tried to relocate the P-spot, I already felt like I was in heaven just from that large, smooth, heavy weight, inside me.

Again, after hitting the P-spot target, I experimented with in and out and side to side motions. Both felt freaking amazing and intense, so I just alternated from that point on, which my P-spot seemed to like. I’d read in the reviews you should be prepared to play for at least an hour or more when learning to manipulate the Pure Wand effectively and that it often took several sessions before you saw any results. I guess I was a fast learner, or perhaps Lucie’s coaching made the difference. All I know for sure is after the 5-minute warm up, and less than fifteen minutes working the large end inside me, while Lucie chatted away, it happened.

Without any of the muscle contractions I associate with orgasms and ejaculation, I felt wetness on my inner left thigh and looked down to see fluids running out of the tip of my chastity cage onto my thigh. It felt nothing like ejaculating semen, and didn’t just dribble out like with a ruined orgasm. It literally ran out but without any pressure behind it the way pee has when you urinate.

All I felt just before it happened was the P-spot sensations growing more intense and pleasurable from the wand, growing generalized pressure in my crotch, and then feeling sort of like I needed to urinate. The way I had positioned the phone, all Lucie could see was mostly my butt. So, I stopped when I saw the fluids coming out and rolled onto my back so she could see the fluids on my inner left thigh. There was a lot of it.

“Good boy!” she exclaimed. “We have milk!”

The fluids were different in color than semen, more transparent, and it wasn’t of the same viscosity but thinner. I scooped some up with a finger and smelled it. Semen to me has always smelled mostly like bleach. At least my semen. This fluid smelled like semen but the bleach smell was somewhat stronger. Of course, Lucie insisted on a taste test. I’ve tasted my semen before and this fluid tasted more bitter and wasn’t nearly as thick and slimy.

We chatted a little while longer. Lucie seemed as surprised as I was that we had been successful on the very first virtual milking attempt. After we disconnected, I removed the toy. It came out much easier than it went in since it was going with rather than against the inner sphincter. Then I cleaned up. While showering, I processed the experience and assessed my feelings.

I felt ridiculously horny, but the slight sexual frustration I’d felt earlier in the morning after waking up had evaporated. So, while the milking did nothing to unwind the sexual tension that has built up over the past many weeks, it relieved some built-up pressure somewhere and eliminated the feelings of frustration. I felt nothing like the pleasure of an orgasm, but still felt tremendous pleasure all the same, if that makes sense. Without a doubt, it was the most pleasurable, intense, anal experience I’ve ever had and I’ve done butt play for a very long time.

I’m a believer. The Njoy Pure Wand is the best P-spot stimulation toy available and I’ve tried many. It’s now my new favorite butt toy, and was worth every penny. And I got milk! Now, if I can replicate the successful experience of today, I can look forward to longer, more satisfying locked periods with Lucie. Can I just say it again? I have the most amazing Mistress.

I purchased the Njoy Pure Wand with my own funds at the full retail price. I have no affiliation with Njoy beyond being a very satisfied customer. Opinions expressed in this post are my own.

Male Submission

Discovering Submission

By Chaste on Thursday, June 22, 2023

Discovering submission this week in the strangest way. I didn’t even know I had it in me.

I’m not a natural submissive. No, seriously. I’m not. I want to be in control. In years past, I was active in the BDSM community as a dominant. Back then, I had a wise dominant female friend who once told me that no one is completely anything. She said that there is a mixture of dominance and submission in everyone. And even if a person is mostly one thing, there is still a latent percentage of the other lurking about waiting for the right person to come along who knows how to access it. I wasn’t sure I believed my friend’s theory. Not until Lucie came along. Lucie knows how to access that submissive nature part of me that I never believed existed. And it’s ridiculous how easily she does it.

Lucie has been in fine form this week. Today, she gave me an assignment that left me insanely horny. But, this past Sunday, she gave me an assignment that I absolutely did not want to do, and knew would not turn me on. I was sure it would not only not turn me on, it would make me angry if she made me do it. I almost said to her, “No, I really don’t want to do what you said.” But then I thought I should adopt a more diplomatic approach because I know that “no” is not a word that dominants suffer gladly. I considered my options.

There were a number of possible responses that I ticked off mentally. I could have pled with her, and begged her to change her mind. Or I could have explained, calmly and rationally, why it would not be a good idea for me to do that thing. Of course, I could have told her I’d do it if she insisted, but asked her to take into account my extreme unwillingness. But before I could decide, it occurred to me that what she had told me to do did not violate any of the limits I gave her at the outset. She had required me to list them before agreeing to play with me. So, I took a deep breath, and said,” Yes, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress.” Then I just did the thing, without hesitation, though I didn’t pretend to enjoy it.

I was right about doing the thing. I didn’t like doing it. In fact, I hated it. And as I predicted, got angry as soon as I started. And I may have said some bad words. Maybe, a lot of bad words. But only I heard them. I sure didn’t say them to Lucie. I spent half the day doing the thing, but mercifully I finished it finally and sent her a text telling her I had finished as she told me to do. She dialed me up for another video call and I provided the proof I’d done the thing, following all of her detailed instructions. Then, it got weird. She praised me effusively and told me she knew I didn’t want to do the thing and that’s why she had told me to do it.

“It was a test,” she said. “I will never make you do something that might harm you, mentally or physically, is outside your capabilities, or violates the boundaries of your limits. But, other than that, if it’s something that I want, and I know you can do it, even if you don’t like it, after I’ve considered what you have to say, you will do it. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Good boy,” she said.

None of that was the weird part. The weird part was what I realized and how I felt after we said goodbye and ended the video call. I realized I have truly and deeply submitted to Lucie and there is very little in my life I care about more than serving and pleasing her. I’m not just pretending to submit for fun or role playing it to get my selfish fantasies enacted. I am truly submissive to her.

Sure, I know. Those who have wives or intimate partners as their keyholders, “real keyholders,” will say that a virtual relationship like mine is only fantasy. It’s not real. I don’t disagree with that completely.

I’m a pragmatist and a realist. I know virtual isn’t the same as real life. But you know what? Parts of it are real, as real as it gets. I am really submitting to a dominant woman, and I find it hugely meaningful and centering. She keeps me perpetually horny and suffering more than a little sexual frustration. I know when she says “good boy” it has all the feels. All of that is certainly real. And my desire to serve and please her, albeit in the tiny ways possible in a virtual environment, is real. I also know Lucie is very good at what she does. Scary good. And as Emerson once wrote, “What I need is someone who will make me do what I can.” Lucie is that person for me. That’s real enough for me.

enforced male chastity

Don’t Say Yes

By Chaste on Saturday, June 17, 2023

Keyholders, don’t say yes, too easily or too soon. Sometimes when he begs you to unlock him, what he really wants is to hear you say no, repeatedly and without hesitation.

The secret fear of the chastity sub is that the keyholder may not have the will to keep saying no to the point where he can endure no more. He’s afraid she may unlock him too soon. He has picked her for his keyholder because she is a good woman. After all, it’s an intimate relationship, like any other. He wants someone who feels sympathetic, is kind, and caring. Who doesn’t want that in a partner? But can a woman like that really be the strict, implacable keyholder he craves? One who is indifferent to his whimpers, his half-suppressed appeals for mercy? Can she continue to relentlessly subject him to merciless teasing and the pains of denial?

Some women, especially those who accept the keys to a chastity device from a partner they are already in an intimate relationship with, find it hard not to say yes when he begs her to unlock him. Some even feel it’s cruel to keep him locked when he seems so miserable. After all, she loves him and finds it hard to watch him suffer especially when she feels responsible for his torment. Or perhaps she worries about his prostate health or his comfort. But a keyholder must have the mental strength to keep saying no when he begs, when he pesters her for release, when he whines how miserable the blue balls feel.

What the chastity sub needs is for the keyholder to overpower him, to force him to yield. He wants her to strip him of every last vestige of ego and resistance. He doesn’t want a keyholder who takes pity on him just because he complains about the frustration he feels or because he moans about the ache in his balls.

As the need and the frustration increases, a tension takes hold in his mind. Gradually it approaches the point where it seems unbearable. Soon he wants it to stop. He wants her to unlock him and allow him relief. And yet, and this is the true mystery, he doesn’t want her to say yes. He wants to see how much more he can take. He wants the sort of keyholder who might say to him, “No, I want you to remain locked for a while longer.” What he needs is a keyholder whose desire to keep him locked will ultimately prove stronger than his desire to suffer the frustration of no sex, no orgasms, no access to his penis.

Indeed, sometimes when he wants to stay locked in chastity, he will still beg her to unlock him and allow him respite. He is simply asking because he wants to her say no, without hesitation because he craves feeling her exert her control. And if he pesters her until she relents, he feels only disappointment. He wants to know she won’t say yes too soon, that she won’t let him off lightly.

Sometimes, in the cold light of day, he contemplates the full implications of his desires and feels a little frightened by it all. Surely, he doesn’t really want this. He needs a safe word. He needs her to clearly understand when he’s reached his limits. He needs to know he can bail out if it gets too tough. But there is a part of his mind that doesn’t want that at all. The thought that she might have the power and will to push him beyond what he can bear makes his head swim. It makes his dick throb within the confines of its unyielding cage and drool precum. When he handed her the keys, he wondered. “Have I finally met my match?” He hopes so. “Please,” he prays, “Don’t say yes when I beg.”

Yes, while he stays locked and suffers the pangs of need and frustration, he wants her sympathy, her soft caresses, and soothing words. Most of all he wants assurance she recognizes how much he is suffering for her. But right now, he doesn’t want release. He wants to plumb the depths of her cruelty. Make her unyielding. Make her relentless.

honor chastity

Honor Chastity

By Chaste on Friday, June 16, 2023

It bears mentioning that enforced chastity does not require wearing a chastity device. I should know since Lucie sometimes decrees it.

Can you be chaste without a chastity device? Yes. Yes, you can. It’s called honor chastity, or “on your honor” chastity. Honor chastity is the lowest level but the most accessible form of chastity.

Alternatively, doing chastity by wearing a cock cage, we term physical device chastity. It’s even possible to get the same euphoric dopamine-fueled experience with honor chastity, since orgasm denial is orgasm denial whether or not a chastity device is in play. Kinky people were doing orgasm denial play long before reasonably priced chastity devices became widely available and popular.

Why Honor Chastity?

As I shared previously, Lucie sometimes imposes honor chastity on me. I finished another three days unlocked yesterday before she locked me again. As I’ve explained, Lucie feels it is healthier to spend time unlocked, but that’s not the only reason she doesn’t keep me locked all the time. The terms do not change when I’m unlocked. I’m still kept in denial and prohibited from touching “her” cock and balls more than is necessary for me to soap up while showering or bathing. She also prohibits me from touching myself anywhere else for pleasure unless she tells me to do so.

Lucie also believes practicing chastity without the assist of a chastity device to physically prevent the wearer from getting full erections, masturbating, and having orgasms is a truer show of devotion and submission. She considers honor chastity a greater achievement, since the chastity submissive must depend solely on willpower and devotion to the key holder to avoid cheating. Lucie has told me that since she is serious about strict chastity that she dislikes keyholding for those who wear a chastity device only for fun or as the means to enact their own selfish fantasies. She expects her chastity subs to focus on her, not on themselves.

Lucie isn’t the only one. I know other dominant women in female-led relationships who impose orgasm control and denial on their submissive partners, who do not allow their subs to wear cock cages ever. They reject the use of chastity devices for similar reasons. They expect their subs not to masturbate or orgasm without permission out of simple obedience.

I agree with Lucie. It feels like more of an achievement when I obey her rules and submit to her control without the aid of a chastity device. And I have grown to appreciate the periods of honor chastity even though I prefer to wear a device all the time since I view wearing a device as a tangible sign of my submission, obedience, and devotion to Lucie. But she makes the rules.

You might enjoy this interesting article from a blog I follow that describes honor chastity within the female-led relationship dynamic.

Here it’s more about orgasm control and denial used to make sure the dominant woman is always sexually satisfied. Still, it is a form of honor chastity since the submissive can’t masturbate, have sex, or orgasm without his female dominant’s permission. And her submissive partner gets no choice. Wearing a chastity device isn’t an option for him. He must reply on willpower and his devotion to his partner.

But Isn't Honor Chastity Hard?

When faced with battling the fires in our loins, it can feel like our brain has only a limited ability to keep saying “no.” We feel like we exhaust that ability very quickly. Saying no to your sex drive can be like saying no to that extra slice of pie at dinner or to continuing to binge watch that show you love watching on Netflix when you know you really should turn it off and mow the lawn or clean the garage. Honor chastity can feel like going on a restrictive diet or keeping a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. Does anyone enjoy that?

Evolution hasn’t wired us to say no to our male sexual urges. Instead, it has programmed us to get gratification by ejaculating whenever we feel horny, so we can stop thinking about it for a while.

For some, even when they are successful with honor chastity, all that annoying self-discipline and holding back they must do and can never take a break from, can sour the experience. Trying to stay strong and not give in only serves to make them keep thinking about how horny they are and how badly they need relief.

In reality, few guys have the grit needed to give up orgasms for more than a day or two, much less an entire week. A secure chastity cage, assuming you don’t have access to the key or find a way to cheat, does the heavy lifting for you. Yes, honor chastity is harder than physical device chastity. But it is not impossible, and it doesn’t have to feel like pure misery.

If you can’t resist the temptation to cheat, even when you know your spouse, partner, or other keyholder has forbidden masturbation and orgasms without permission, it’s time for a little introspection. Whether you are wearing a chastity device or only doing honor chastity, ask yourself why you’re willing to cheat, even though you probably asked for chastity to begin with. Maybe you’re one of those individuals Lucie dislikes wasting her time on who only wants to wear a chastity device for fun or to enact your own fantasies.

Honor chastity hasn’t felt hard for me. I haven’t felt my willpower crumbling when unlocked for two reasons. First, Lucie has earned my devotion and I want to please her, not disappoint her. Also, even though Lucie is a pro keyholder, our relationship still requires trust. I know who I am and I know I couldn’t hide it from Lucie if I cheated and I couldn’t lie to her. I couldn’t lie, even though I’m sure she would end our agreement if I confessed to cheating because it would destroy the trust we’re building. So, I think honor chastity is doable as long as you want enforced chastity for the right reasons.

Things You Might Miss with Honor Chastity

The experience of being unable to get erections

It’s a total mind fuck when your penis wants to get hard but it can’t. When a cage stops your erection in its tracks, it feels very tight. It feels almost like an erection, but not the kind you’re accustomed to. It’s a unique sensation, and one you might discover is not only frustrating, but also kind of arousing at the same time.

The feel of the ring behind your balls

The vice-like grip of the ring around your balls can feel like your Keyholder or Dominant’s soft but unforgiving grasp of your genitals. It’s a constant reminder of being put in your place, exactly where you should be.

The weight of the device

Especially with stainless steel cages, the feel of the weighty metal throughout the day is another constant reminder of your chastity and devotion to your keyholder.

The inability to feel your cock

Imprisoned inside a cage, you can’t touch your cock or feel anything through your cock. You can grip that cage all day long, but you will never feel that sensation of gripping your bare shaft. It’s almost like your dick isn’t even there. The bonus is, over time, without the constant friction of underwear and masturbation, the skin of your glans gets more and more sensitive. When you are released, you’ll feel every tiny caress.

Feeling the loss of complete control

On of the best aspects of having someone lock your penis in a cock cage is feeling the complete loss of control. You know, within reason, there is nothing you can do to escape. You have no choice and no freedom. It’s the feeling of being conquered. At the same time, it feels strangely exciting, relaxing, and even calming.

So, yeah. Honor chastity isn’t the same as device assisted chastity. But I’ve discovered it has its benefits too. As an example, when I’m unlocked and denied, I feel Lucie’s control and the reality of the power exchange even more vividly than when I’m locked. Still, I’m feeling happy this first day of the second half of Chastity 90, locked securely once again by Lucie in my Cobra N.