I was re-reading one of Thumper’s posts at Denying Thumper, where he talks about listening to a podcast and being taken aback when the hosts said something about not being into chastity for “behavior modification.” Thumper weighs in on the idea with, “Thing is, I can’t conceive of chastity as not modifying behavior. And not just the obvious tactical changes it enforces (no masturbating), but the big picture stuff, too.”
Nearing the end of my eighth consecutive day of being locked, I tend to agree with Thumper’s analysis. I’ll even go a step further. If we’re talking serious, long-term male chastity, I think behavior modification is the whole point of it. Consider what makes behavior modification work, as explained in this excerpt from a Psychology Today article.
“Behavior modification focuses on changing an individual’s environment in ways that increase the likelihood that certain behaviors will occur. Regardless of the specific approaches being used, ‘behavior change’ is always the goal.”
Source: “Understanding What Makes Behavior Modification Work.” Psychology Today. Oct. 2, 2018 web. Dec. 28, 2019.
It certainly alters a guy’s environment big time when his cock gets locked in a chastity device and he loses all access to it. The truth is most guys feel like the very core of their masculinity comes from their penis and being able to use it sexually. Chastity is a sea change in his environment. It’s bound to affect behavioral change.
This point is really being driven home to me today as I enter my second week of being locked in a chastity device. Sure, that isn’t a long time in the greater scheme of things, but it is another profound milestone for me as a novice. It has been an occasion for me to look inward and ponder some of the changes that have already started to take place. One very significant change immediately came to mind.
At first, when I became interested in trying male chastity, I’ll admit my motives were selfish. It was all about me. It was about experiencing something that seemed very erotic to think and fantasize about. I think you can see that in the early posts here on this blog. I remember being so frustrated when LJ wasn’t offering to do the things I expected, like teasing as one example. But, when I think about it today, my paradigm has changed considerably. I’m no longer thinking about what LJ can do for me. Instead, I’m thinking about how I can do more for her; how I can do more to show her my respect, admiration, and devotion. Each day it seems more important to me to please her in every way I can think of given the limitations imposed by our long-distance relationship.
This morning I had to admit to myself for the first time that as much as I love orgasms, I have started to love the feel of LJ’s control even more. In fact, I no longer want her to give me permission to orgasm because she thinks I want to, but only if it pleases her to allow it. Pleasing LJ has slowly turned into my prime directive. I have to admit that while I’ve never considered myself a submissive man, I am starting to feel very submissive toward LJ. One thing worries me about that.
Humility is a good thing. But at least to me, it is only attractive as long as it’s paired with self-confidence and proactivity. But it is starting to seem that being a chaste man tends to make me overly humble and submissive, completely reactive to LJ and her needs. To a degree, I feel I’m even becoming infatuated with LJ to a ridiculous degree.
Can a chaste man become so submissive, so servile, so single-mindedly focused on his keyholder and her happiness, and so docile that she eventually loses interest in him as a man? I’m not certain I want to be transformed into some kind of sycophant by this experience. I have no desire to have my masculinity completely stripped away.
But this fact remains. I have surrendered to LJ and have given her my complete trust. In doing that, I admit I have found true happiness. I have stopped struggling to be her equal and have submitted fully to her female authority.
In some ways, I feel like I’m on a greased ledge with no handholds, slowly sliding toward the drop-off into the abyss of chastity and there is nothing I can to slow it down.
The further I go down the rabbit hole with this, the more time I spend locked for LJ, the more I discover about myself. To be fair, I suppose that is the very reason I wanted to explore this.