This is another chastity forum inspired post. I recently read a forum thread in which the original poster (OP) posed this question. Does chastity make you gay or bi-sexual? I found this an interesting discussion on many levels.
The poster who started the thread shared that he had always considered himself straight and had always been attracted to women as sexual partners. However, once he began spending long periods locked in chastity, he found he often fantasized about performing oral sex on other guys, bringing them to orgasm, and swallowing their semen.
He insisted he has never felt sexually attracted to men before getting into chastity, still doesn’t, and still finds women powerfully attractive. What I found most interesting was his claim he still doesn’t feel physical attraction for men and isn’t interested in being anally penetrated by another guy. It’s just that he now often feels a powerful attraction to the penises of others and the idea of performing fellatio while in chastity.
The Two Main Opinions
The post stimulated a lively discussion. Among those who weighed in on the question and expressed opinions, most fell into one of two primary groups.
One group felt chastity had nothing to do with what the OP was experiencing. They believed he had always had some latent interest in the sucking penises. They surmised he probably wasn’t gay if he felt a strong sexual attraction for women, but had probably always been bi-sexual and had only suppressed it. Perhaps because he hadn’t felt comfortable with the idea of being bi-sexual. The guys in this group, without exception, described themselves as every day, straight masculine men who never once had such fantasies.
The second group of commenters (the smaller group) believed chastity may have played a role by simply making the OP more open to the idea of enacting the fantasies he was having. They didn’t think he was gay or necessarily even bi-sexual since his interest was confined only to penises, and not the entire male body. And maybe the humiliation aspect of sucking another guy’s penis may have also been part of the attraction.
The poster had never acted on the fantasies. Maybe because the opportunity never presented itself. But it would have been interesting to see how he felt about it afterward if he had. That could have shed additional light on the original question.
I didn’t weigh into the discussion with my opinion because, at the time, I wasn’t sure which opinion I most agreed with. But after pondering the question more, I think there might be a third option no one in the discussion mentioned. And partly, I base this on my own experiences.
My Experience
When I’ve been locked by a key holder for periods of thirty days or more, I admit I’ve had fantasies about things I don’t usually fantasize about. Just as he explained, I don’t feel sexually attracted to men and while I enjoy pegging, I have no interest in being penetrated by another guy with the real thing. I’ve always believed I was straight and felt completely comfortable with it. I love vaginas. I love my penis, but not anyone else’s. Yet during long periods of chastity, I admit I have sometimes had unusual fantasies.
It might sound weird, maybe not, but I don’t view performing oral sex on a woman as a submissive act. And I actually love it. Yet I would perceive performing oral sex on another guy as not only a submissive act but deeply humiliating. Mostly because I’m neither gay nor bi-sexual. And giving a blow job would put me in a submissive position relative to a more dominant guy, which I think I’d also find humiliating.
To be fair, I don’t have any frame of reference to speak intelligently about being gay. I have had no fear I might be gay, so I don’t believe I’ve suppressed anything. I’ve just always been attracted sexually solely to women and never to men. I’ve had several friends who were gay men and none of them ever expressed any sexual attraction to me. So there’s that.
If I discovered I was bi-sexual, it wouldn’t embarrass or trouble me. I’ve just felt no sexual attraction for another guy or any interest in being intimate with one. So, I don’t believe having such fantasies suggests the forum poster is gay. He just didn’t provide enough information for me to speculate about whether he is bi-sexual. But here is what I think might be going on with him.
My Theory
I believe the chastity and associated extended period of orgasm denial plays a role in the fantasies. And another part of it might simply be curiosity. I’ve received oral sex from plenty of women, and maybe I’m just a curious guy. I’ve always wondered what it felt like to them having a penis in their mouth and getting a mouthful of semen. It’s just like feeling curious about what it feels like to a woman to have a penis inside her vagina. I’ve even asked a few women about that, but never about the blow jobs. So maybe simple curiosity could be part of it.
Perhaps it’s only natural for a guy, even a straight guy, to be curious about what having a penis in his mouth might feel like. And I think when you’ve been locked and kept at a heightened state of arousal for weeks or months, maybe you’re just more prone to think and fantasize about it. I’ve never been limber enough to accomplish it, but when I was younger, I tried to contort my body to where I could get my own penis in my mouth to see what it felt like. I suspect most guys have tried it just like we have probably all tasted our semen at one time or another, whether or not we admit it.
Another reason I believe chastity encourages this type of fantasy is because when I’m not locked, have orgasms, and my arousal levels are normal, I never think about or fantasize about many of the things I fantasize about when locked and denied for a long period. My interest in such things just evaporates until I’m locked again for a lengthy period. This seems a strong indication that chastity plays some role in having unusual types of fantasies. And never once, not even when having the fantasies have I ever seriously considered acting them. As far as the fantasy the poster describes, I can’t imagine having the opportunity to do it even I wished to do so. I certainly can’t imagine seeking some random guy and asking to do it.
The bottom line is I think we all probably have fantasies we enjoy thinking about and that makes us horny, but that we have no intention of actually enacting. The forum poster didn’t indicate whether acting on his fantasies was something he thought he actually wanted to do.
I think there could be one other thing involved in the mix.
Role of Submission
In everyday life, I’m not submissive. I’m outgoing and assertive. But when locked by a key holder, after about a week or ten days, I begin feeling submissive to her. The longer I remain locked, the more submissive I feel. And the submissive feelings are a part of the pleasure dynamic. This makes me believe that feeling submissive might also contribute to having usual fantasies, fantasies you might not usually entertain.
At least in my experience, the more submissive I feel, the more open I am to trying sexual things I ordinarily probably wouldn’t even consider doing. Who knows? Maybe in the right circumstances, given the opportunity, especially if my key holder encouraged it, I might feel submissive enough to do something I might not ordinarily do, even something like the poster described.
The intense submissive feelings continue along with the heightened arousal until I get released. Then, like the unusual fantasies, the submissive feelings also dissipate as soon as she unlocks me and allows me to orgasm. This makes me believe that feeling submissive may also contribute to having these types of fantasies.
That’s my take on the question that prompted this post. Does chastity make you bi-sexual or gay? I don’t believe so. But from my own experiences, I believe chastity probably affects some of the things we fantasize about.