chastity Archives - Cut to the Chaste

New Year in Chastity and New Beginning

By Chaste on Monday, January 1, 2024

After a successful Denial December, 2024 is a new year in chastity and new beginning.

Happy New Year to everyone. Whether you had a good 2023 or were glad to see it end, it’s a new year in chastity and new beginning. This marks the start of my fifth year in chastity and my second month with Amanda as my keyholder.

I completed the hat trick with a successful Denial December after finishing Locktober and NOvember. Shortly after midnight, Amanda graciously allowed me my first release after 245 days of denial. So, for me, it is literally a new beginning. For the first time in about eight months, I’m starting those first few days of being locked post-orgasm. I really needed the reset because I have languished in plateaued arousal since about the last week of Locktober.

New Year’s Resolutions

I’m not really big on making New Year’s resolutions, but I often begin each year with a few specific, measurable, attainable, and relevant goals. I think setting goals gives your life direction, and boosts your motivation. The specific, measurable, attainable, and relevant part of it means I don’t just make random resolutions like losing weight or getting fitter, two common New Year’s resolutions that usually go by the wayside for most people before the end of January or first week in February. I try to get more specific than that.

One goal is to determine by month’s end if Amanda is the right keyholder for me for the foreseeable future. She is a good person who I’ve grown to like, but December didn’t come as close to meeting my expectations as I had hoped. To be fair, the last month of the year always features the distractions of the end-of-year and start of a new year’s holidays. So, I felt it was only fair to us both to agree to another month with Amanda. Unfortunately, she is beginning a new job this month, which I fear may be even more of a distraction than the holidays. All I know is a lot of improvement will need to happen if we’re to continue past the end of January. If we don’t, I’ll face a decision about whether to look for a new keyholder or to just go back to self-locking until Lucie returns to the game. I feel like she will, but just can’t predict when.

Planned Device Reviews for 2024

My goal is to review four new devices this year, one per quarter. I’ll be reviewing my new Kink3D Fusion Pink Cobra N+ next. I have ideas for the next two devices I want to buy and review, but haven’t any ideas for the fourth yet. So we’ll see.

Hopefully, 2024 turns out an auspicious year for us all. Yet considering the accelerated, continued decay and decline so obvious in this country and the dark forces at work in the world, I’m not feeling optimistic. But that’s a topic for another day and another blog. Happy New Year all.

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Is Chastity About Humiliation?

By Chaste on Tuesday, June 13, 2023

There are a number of erotic humiliation-based kinks people often associate with the practice of wearing chastity devices. This leads to the misconception that chastity is always about humiliation? But is it?

Some link humiliation-based kinks such as forced feminization, sissification, small penis humiliation (SPH), and to a degree, cuckolding, to the practice of chastity. Is chastity about humiliation? The short answer is it can be. As I’ve observed before, people find their way into chastity play and wearing chastity devices for different reasons. So, no. Humiliation is not an integral part of chastity. Not unless that is something you want to get from it.

Using me as an example, I’m someone who isn’t tuned on by and feel no attraction to any of the kinks I listed. Chastity in general doesn’t cause me to feel emasculated or desire to feel that way. Not to say I’ve never submitted to a few of the listed activities when a Mistress has required it. I don’t consider humiliation-based play a hard limit, so I’ve been willing and am willing to experience humiliation play for a dominant’s benefit. After all, it’s not just about me. Dominants should get their itches scratched too. And some of the self-identified female dominants I’ve served have enjoyed subjecting me to humiliation play. I’m secure in my masculinity, have healthy self-esteem, and am not obsessed with penis size, so I see no harm in it. But none of those activities do anything for me in any erotic sense.

Why It Matters

I think it is important to point out that chastity isn’t always about humiliation for three reasons. Wearing chastity devices is becoming more mainstream. It isn’t just for the kink crowd anymore. Not all penis owning individuals curious about wearing chastity devices are kinky and the idea that chastity is about humiliation might put them off on trying it altogether.

Similarly, even those who love the idea of experiencing forced feminization, sissification, SPH, or cuckolding may have potential keyholder partners who are turned off by all those things. That could cause them to lack interest in participating in chastity.

Finally, kinks like SPH, sissification, and cuckolding have attracted such a wide following within chastity circles, I think many female dominants who act as keyholders automatically (but wrongly) assume every guy who wants his penis locked up also wants all the humiliation stuff to go with it, which isn’t true. Personally, I find that annoying. And if you don’t want any of that, you need to bring it up with a prospective keyholder before forging a keyholding agreement with them.

Why Do Some People Enjoy Erotic Humiliation?

When we hear the term “masochism” we tend to think about those people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from experiencing physical pain. And that is one form of sexual masochism. But there are people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain that erotic humiliation causes them to feel. For some, that might be the only kind of pain they want or are willing to receive. So, there is an element of masochism involved in erotic humiliation play whether or not those who want and enjoy it consider themselves masochists. In the same way, many sexual sadists derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to inflicting verbal or physical humiliation on their sexual partners just as much as other sadists do from inflicting physical pain. There are scientific surveys that suggest humiliation is a very common component of sadomasochistic activity.

Why a person derives arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain produced by sexual humiliation is a harder question to answer. But there are two main theories. The first, which comes from a 2002 research study called Sexual and Relationship Therapy, suggests masochism is a learned behavior. The idea behind this theory is that when an individual has repeated prior experiences in which pleasure and pain occur simultaneously, or if a past experience of pleasurable pain happens to coincide with a particularly powerful sexual experience, an association forms that the person seeks to repeat.

The second theory, proposed by American social psychologist Roy Baumeister in a 1988 article he published in the Journal of Sex Research that details his research study, suggests that masochism serves as an escape from self-awareness. Baumeister proposed that some people feel drawn to sexual pain because it provides an opportunity for psychological escape. The pain, physical or psychological, distracts them from everything else on their minds that might interfere with sexual performance.

Regardless of the reasons behind it, some people derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from suffering physical or psychological sexual pain. And erotic humiliation is a pathway to experiencing psychological pain or discomfort that some find arousing and satisfying.

Chastity Doesn’t Have to Be About Humiliation

Those of us who don’t crave erotic humiliation have plenty of other reasons we find ourselves attracted to wearing chastity devices. You might desire to wear a chastity device as a symbol of devotion to your wife or other romantic partner. Or, perhaps, chastity is a way to strengthen your self-control. Maybe you just like how much stronger and better your orgasms feel after a period of sexual denial. Finally, the submissive aspect of chastity, suffering the physical discomfort of wearing the device or denial for your keyholder, or giving greater attentiveness to your partner’s sexual satisfaction may explain your attraction to chastity play.

The great thing about chastity is it is a choose-your-own-adventure activity. You can enjoy the parts that work for you, and leave out those that don’t. So, if wearing chastity devices appeals to you but humiliation doesn’t, you can do chastity exactly the way that turns you and your keyholder on, and skip the humiliation bits that some associate with chastity.

We’re less than two full days away from the half-way mark of Chastity 90 for those who began on May 1!

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Indefinite Chastity

By Chaste on Saturday, May 6, 2023

I been thinking a lot lately about indefinite chastity, and the more I ponder the idea, the more I find I want to experience it.

Indefinite chastity is not an original idea I’ve come up with. I’ve read plenty of chastity blog posts and forum posts written by guys who are doing indefinite chastity even if they are not consciously aware of it or don’t know that is what they are doing.

Indefinite Chastity Defined

If you aren’t sure what I am discussing, here is a simple definition of indefinite chastity. It’s when a keyholder tells you to put on and lock your chastity device and then says you must wear it until further notice. End of discussion. The keyholder has imposed an indefinite ban on you having sex, masturbating, having an orgasm, and ejaculating. From my chastity travels around the web, this seems how chastity is done commonly between partners where one’s partner acts as the keyholder.

Fixed Term Chastity

The other popular way of chastity with a keyholder is the fixed term embargo. As an example, you must wear the chastity device for one week, one month, etc. There is a blog I follow curated by a dominant woman in a female led relationship. She requires her husband to wear a chastity device for six days and then unlocks him on the seventh and allows him to orgasm and ejaculate every week. She explains she adopted that schedule because if he remains locked for over six days without an orgasm, he becomes either depressed or resentful. So, going in, he knows how long he must remain locked. I suspect he then spends the intervening time counting down the days, hours and minutes, and the closer the end gets, the more desperate he becomes.

My Experience With Enforced Chastity

Since I have only had professional keyholders, the fixed term is the type of chastity I’m most familiar with, since that is how most professionals structure their services. You pay a fee for a week locked in chastity under their supervision, or a fortnight, or a month, etc. It works okay, but I want to experience indefinite chastity. There is just something about stepping out into the great unknown that excites me.

With indefinite chastity, when it will end and the keyholder will unlock you is a moot point. The term is indefinite. With a fixed term, you know how long you must stay locked. You have a goal. When the term is indefinite, there is hope that it might end at any time. Yet there is also the awful prospect that it might go on and on, stretching out into an orgasm-free eternity.

It’s not that I want an orgasm-free future where I may never have sex, mastubate, orgasm, or ejaculate again. That is the unthinkable, a life sentence of chastity. Having to endure such a draconian regimen might well be where madness lies. No time off for good behavior. No more negotiations. No more counting down the days until the cage comes off, and the ban is lifted. No more dreams of the mother of all orgasms. Just a bleak, endless future bereft of sexual release stretching out before you.

Is There a Professional Keyholder in the House?

My problem has been finding a professional keyholder willing to make my dream of indefinite chastity a reality. During the pandemic, when dominatrices could not offer in person sessions, professionals offering distance chastity keyholding were a dime a dozen. Cam, phone, or text sessions were the only way to fill the gaping hole the pandemic shutdowns knocked in their incomes. But now, with things back to normal, most of them have returned to plying their trade through the far more lucrative in person sessions.

Also, all the payment platforms and banks professionals once used to collect payments for keyholding and other online services now discriminate against sex workers. It seems the industry most known for wokenss and progressive spirit have no qualms about marginalizing sex workers. I guess they don’t deserve a seat at the intersectionality table. But I digress. The point is, it is much harder to find a good professional dominatrix for distance keyholding these days.

After spending considerable time this past week searching for a dominatrix offering keyholding, I found less than a dozen. I found a few more than that, but I discounted those who do not publish their required tribute amounts (their fees) on their websites. That is always a dead giveaway that they are insanely expensive. Half of those I found advertised fees that were, shall we say, well out of my price range. I saw fees ranging from $100 per week, for just basic keyholding to $3,000 for a month, with a few naughty pictures and texts thrown in. Of course, a professional dominatrix is within her rights to set her fees at whatever she feels the market will bear. I’m willing to pay a fair rate for what I want. But since I am not independently wealthy or desperate, I wouldn’t even consider paying anything close to those rates.

Narrowing the Search

Finally, I narrowed my search down to three professionals, all of whom specifically offered chastity keyholding services. All three offered their services for around the same amount. I’m sure I would be happy with any of the three, but ranked them from my first to third choices. Then I completed the obligatory forms on their websites to submit my applications. After submitting the form, then you sit back and wait for them to reply at their convenience.

I did not apply to all three at the same time, as I would never wish to waste anyone’s time. If I had done that and received a reply from my first choice, then the other two would have wasted their time replying to me. I applied to my first choice and waited. And waited. Five days passed by and no reply. Not that I think she rejected me. The initial form required didn’t request enough information to warrant rejection. It was only an initial inquiry about the services I was interested in. There are at least three explanations for the no reply. The person is focused on in person sessions and no longer offers distance keyholding but has not bothered to update her site by removing the offer of keyholding. The forms function on the website doesn’t work properly (more common than you might think) and she never saw my application. Or, her PayPal, Venmo, etc. account got cancelled, and she has no way to collect for online services anymore and couldn’t be bothered to reply to me with regret.

The Quest Continues

So, I filled in another form on the website of candidate number two. Same result. Another five days went by with no response. Then, I filled in the form at the website of contestant number three. That was yesterday, so it is too early to tell how that one will turn out. But I’m not feeling optimistic. If she doesn’t reply, then I will probably shelve the idea for a while. Many respected economists claim the economy will go into recession by the end of the year or early next year. If that happens, the in person session income will dry up again when horny guys will not have as much disposable income to finance their kink desires. And then, more dominatrices will probably be happy to take on distance keyholding clients again to pay the bills.

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Chastity 90 Challenge

By Chaste on Thursday, April 20, 2023

Chastity 90 is a ninety-day chastity program, ninety days of abstinence from ejaculation and orgasm and cultivation of self-discipline. For ninety days, individuals commit to chasteness and acts of self-denial. Ninety days to become a better person. Here is how it works:

During Chastity 90 you will embrace chastity as a means to the start prioritizing that which is truly important in your life instead of allowing your sex drive to control you. Let’s face it. For most of us born with a penis it often feels like we’re strapped to an out-of-control rocket ship that takes us to places we often don’t want to go and often end up regretting.

Are you tired of your libido controlling you?

Individuals who commit to Chastity 90 are ready to live differently. They know there is more to life than numbing themselves with porn, masturbation, the constant quest for sex, and other sexual distractions. Sound like you?

Chastity 90 Offers a Path to a More Fulfilling Life

Research shows we can radically transform habits in ninety days. And when you put that in the context of chastity, you can experience freedom from the tyranny of unwanted habits linked to your sex drive.

Sexual release feels good. That’s why many of us want to experience it often. And yes, our sex drive is a powerful thing. That can cause us to think of sexual release as a need. But actually, it isn’t a need. It’s simply a want.

Ejaculation and orgasm are not bad, harmful, or anything we should feel anxious or ashamed about. Sexual pleasure isn’t a bad thing. It’s simply satisfying normal (and very strong) biological urges with natural physical acts. But sexual desires should not control you.

The pleasure we feel from ejaculation and orgasm, those five to twenty seconds (the average length of the male orgasm according to research) of pure bliss at sexual climax is nature’s way of encouraging the perpetuation of the species. If we didn’t derive that pleasure, we wouldn’t regularly spend our limited time and energy engaging in the sexual activities that produce ejaculation and orgasm. And that wouldn’t bode well for the survival of the species.

Why Chastity 90?

In most things in life, excess creates problems. The same is true of sexual pleasure. There are negative consequences for those who cannot control their sex drive and instead allow these powerful urges to control them. I’ll be writing more about those negative consequences during the coming days. For now, I hope we can agree that controlling our libidos is a far better option than allowing our sex drives to control us. Committing to periods of chastity is arguably the best method for taking back this control.

Chastity Works

Chastity is the way to take charge of your libido and legions of individuals who practice chastity report they experience new freedom. Not only that, they also reap several benefits from curtailing ejaculation and orgasm:

Many believe semen contains vital energy, so abstaining from ejaculation can help build up and conserve this energy. This may cause increased physical and mental vitality.
By redirecting sexual energy and reducing distractions related to sexual desire, semen retention may help improve focus and concentration on other tasks and activities.
Some individuals report feeling more confident and self-assured while practicing chastity, which may be related to the increased energy and vitality that can result from semen retention.
Sexual energy is closely linked to creativity, and some individuals report experiencing increased creativity and inspiration while practicing chastity.
By building up sexual energy and strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, spending time in chastity may lead to improved sexual performance and greater control over ejaculation when you have sex.
Chastity can help redirect sexual energy by increasing awareness of the body and its sensations, including sexual desire and arousal. By developing this mindfulness, individuals can learn to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment, which can help reduce the urge to act on sexual impulses or fantasies.
Chastity can also help individuals develop greater control over their thoughts and emotions, which can help them redirect sexual energy towards other activities or goals. For example, it can help you cultivate a sense of inner calm and focus that promotes better mental health. A period spent in chastity may help individuals find it easier to resist the temptation to engage in risky sexual activity or habitually seek sexual stimulation.
Chastity can help individuals become more attuned to their bodies and their needs, which can help them recognize and address underlying emotional or psychological issues that may contribute to sexual or porn addiction.

The Chastity 90 Challenge

The terms of the challenge:

Abstain from masturbation, ejaculation, and orgasm for 90 days.
Abstain from porn.
Take only short, cold showers for the ninety days.
Get a full night’s sleep (at least seven hours).
Limit alcohol consumption and recreational drug use.
Limit sweets, sugary drinks like soda, and foods with high sugar concentrations.
Avoid social media, playing video games, and watching television. These distractions will only make adjusting to chastity more difficult.
Limit computer and device use to essential activities like those related to work, school, paying bills, etc., and to visiting sites that will encourage you to keep your chastity commitment.
Begin an exercise program on the first day if you aren’t working out regularly already. Then workout or walk for at least thirty minutes each day of the challenge.

FAQS

Do I have to wear a chastity device for ninety straight days?

No. Whether you choose to wear a chastity device at all is completely up to you. To take part in the challenge, all you must do is commit to ninety days of complete abstinence from orgasm and ejaculation.

I recommend wearing a chastity device for two reasons. It serves as a physical reminder of your pledge. It provides a physical barrier to impulse masturbation. There is nothing magic about a chastity device, but it is a useful tool to support willpower.

If you choose to wear a chastity device, unlike challenges like Locktober, there is no requirement that you wear it every single day of the challenge. In fact, I DO NOT recommend that anyone try putting on a chastity device for the first time (or after a long period of not wearing one) and trying to wear it for 90 straight days.

If you want to attempt the challenge and want to try wearing a chastity device for the first time, here is a very gradual, 6 weeks to 24/7 chastity training schedule you might consider: https://kinky-world.net/male-chastity-training-6-weeks-from-chastity-device-beginner-to-24-7-chastity-slave/

Isn’t it unhealthy not to ejaculate for 90 straight days?

No. There is no scientific evidence that refraining from ejaculation for any period of time is unhealthy. When we don’t ejaculate semen, the body absorbs it or sometimes expels it through nocturnal emissions (wet dreams). It doesn’t just keep building up. Despite a well known study that suggested frequent ejaculation might decrease the chances of prostate cancer, those claims have been largely debunked because the study did not adhere to the scientific method.

When does the challenge begin?

Unlike other chastity challenges, there is no set date for this challenge. You can start anytime you wish. But there’s no time like the present. Consider starting May 1.

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Chastity 90

By Chaste on Sunday, April 2, 2023

Chastity 90? Lately, I’ve been meditating on what chastity means to me and the progression I’ve undergone since incorporating it into my life. I pondered what seemed most responsible for moving me from mere curiosity to become passionate about practicing chastity to finally adopting chastity as a lifestyle. Reflecting on it, I realized what it was. It was the first time I experienced practicing chastity for 90 days. And that realization motivated me to write this post, because I think it could be something that others might find useful.

Reviewing the Benefits of Chastity

Those who follow this blog or others like it or who have perhaps read one of the many books available on chastity have read about it and the benefits that many claim it offers. As a quick review, the practice of chastity means abstaining from ejaculation or orgasm, either for a certain period or indefinitely.

Many people, from ancient times to the present, have held the basic idea that semen is a precious substance, rich in life force and vital energy. According to this perspective, they view ejaculation as a loss and waste of this energy, which can lead to physical and mental exhaustion, as well as a weakened immune system and decreased vitality. By definition then, chastity involves semen retention. And many claim semen retention offers some important benefits.

Among them:

(1) Increased energy and vitality

(2) Improved focus and concentration

(3) Increased confidence and self-esteem

(4) Enhanced creativity

(5) Improved sexual performance

(6) Improved mental health

Many who have practiced chastity and thus semen retention claim having experienced all these benefits and more. Yes, the reported benefits are based on anecdotal evidence, and it’s important to note that scientific research on the benefits of chastity and semen retention is limited. But the sheer number of people who have reported experiencing these benefits by practicing chastity lend the ring of authenticity to the claims.

I have experienced these benefits while practicing chastity, so I find it easy to believe the similar claims of others that track with my firsthand experiences. But I’ve learned you must spend a lengthy time in chastity to appropriate all the amazing benefits it offers. The first time I spent 90 days in chastity was the first time I experienced all the benefits I listed above significantly.

Why Short-Term Chastity is Not Sufficient

I believe there are benefits available from practicing shorter terms of chastity, but my experiences and the experiences of others I’ve heard about point to something important. While you might experience some benefits or in rare instances, even most of them during a week or a month spent in chastity, you really will have only scratched the surface.

To fully realize all the powerful benefits, I believe spending 90 days in chastity and abstaining from ejaculation is the minimum period necessary to fully experience the benefits. And from there, it only gets better the longer and deeper you go into living a chaste life.

Maybe you’ve only ever managed a few days or a week in chastity. Or perhaps you’ve struggled through a full month either on your own or while participating in Locktober or one of the other month-long chastity events many observe each year. Completing a month in chastity, especially while locked in a chastity device, is a significant accomplishment. And for those who have achieved it, I’m sure they got a taste of all the benefits I’ve mentioned. But I’m just as certain that a month is not nearly long enough to reap the richer, deeper aspects.

Instead of a month-long challenge, why not challenge yourself to spend 90 days in chastity? I’m convinced that those who do that will learn for themselves what chastity is all about and how beneficial it truly is. I’ve found it transformative and I think you can, too.

But Isn’t 90 Days Really Hard?

I found that spending thirty days locked in chastity for the first time was the most difficult thing I’d ever done. In fact, I found it so difficult that had I not been under the supervision of a keyholder, I would have probably given up after the first week.

Since then, I’ve found it gets much easier. The first time I spent 60 days in chastity was easier than the first 30 and then 90 days was easier than 60. And the longer I stayed locked after that, the easier it became. At some point you become so accustomed to it, you rarely think about what it feels like to not be in chastity or to ejaculate whenever you want. If you set your mind to do it, you can make the 90 days.

But Isn’t it Unhealthy to Retain Semen for 90 Days?

For most guys, semen retention in and of itself is not harmful, as it simply involves abstaining from ejaculation or orgasm. This is true, regardless of how long you abstain from ejaculation or orgasm. Semen doesn’t just continue building up. The body breaks the semen down and reabsorbs it, or sometimes, the body may expel semen either by leakage or through nocturnal emissions also called “wet dreams.”

It is important to note that semen retention may not be recommended for individuals with certain medical conditions, such as prostate problems or infections. In these cases, ejaculation can be an important part of maintaining prostate health. But for most of us, lengthy periods of semen retention are not harmful. It’s beneficial.

But I’ve Never Been Able to Wear a Chastity Device for More Than a Few Days

As you may already know, after I wrote and published The 7 Day Chastity Challenge, I conducted a survey to learn about the experiences of individuals who had taken on the challenge. A surprising number reported that they physically could not wear a chastity device for seven full days.

If I had to guess, I’d say for most of them that probably resulted from having a poorly fitted device. Instead of taking careful measurements to get the best fitting device they could afford, I’d bet many either bought a device they thought looked cool or else got something cheap and in either case didn’t fit them well. I made those same mistakes when I first began experimenting with chastity. Since I was only satisfying my curiosity, I wasn’t ready to spend several hundred bucks for a quality, custom fitted device, so I wasted money on three different ill-fitting devices before I found one that worked.

I’d also bet some of those unable to wear a device for a full week simply didn’t find the discomfort worth it and threw in the towel. Accepting even minor irritation and discomfort is more difficult for some than for others.

I still recall what it was like when I first engaged a professional keyholder for chastity training. I had sore spots after the first few days that lasted for almost two weeks, and I experienced some annoying testicular discomfort for at least the first week. Then my body adjusted to having the hunk of stainless steel attached to it, and the soreness and discomfort went away. I was committing to succeeding, mostly because I didn’t want to disappoint my keyholder. So I stuck it out. But some guys lack the commitment and once things get uncomfortable, they choose to quit instead of giving their bodies time to make the adjustment.

Personally, I think it would be rare to find someone without some physical anomaly who couldn’t acclimate to wearing a well-fitted chastity device within one to two weeks with sufficient motivation to succeed. But I could be wrong.

Yes, chastity devices can support the practice of chastity by preventing individuals from engaging in sexual activity or masturbation. Chastity devices prevent erection and orgasm. They represent a physical barrier to giving in to sexual impulses. I’ve found them an invaluable aid. But I also know ball-trap chastity devices are not magic.

Unless combined with a piercing for added security, with enough motivation, I know that all ball-trap devices are escapable while locked. And anyone holding their own keys can simply unlock and remove them whenever they wish.

For me, a chastity device is more a symbol of my commitment to chastity than a failsafe barrier to giving in to my sexual impulses. So, while it requires greater willpower, it’s definitely possible to practice chastity and to refrain from sexual activity and masturbation without wearing a chastity device. I believe I could remain chaste without wearing a device at this point in my journey. But I like the symbol, I like the reminder of my commitment, so I continue wearing a device every day.

Are You Up for a 90-Day Chastity Challenge?

I’m putting the finishing touches on Chastity 90, a challenging 90-day period of abstinence and self-discipline, supported by suggested activities to help you succeed. The 90-day benchmark is not arbitrary, but the minimum number of days I firmly believe is necessary for individuals to reap the full benefit of a time spent in chastity. If you’re interested, watch for the next post where I’ll outline the Chastity 90 Challenge.

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Are Blue Balls an Actual Thing?

By Chaste on Tuesday, January 11, 2022

“Blue balls” is a slang term for testicles that ache after sexual arousal that does not result in orgasm or ejaculation. So are blue balls real or just a myth? Are blue balls an actual thing? Kind of, but probably not as bad as you think. But is experiencing blue balls a reason to avoid practicing male chastity?

Some guys contemplating male chastity may feel anxious at the prospect of suffering the dreaded scourge of blue balls. But is it something you should worry about?

What Are Blue Balls?

Doctors refer to “blue balls” and its symptom as epididymal hypertension. Epididymal hypertension isn’t dangerous. “It [blue balls] is typically not overly painful, but simply bothersome or unpleasant in nature,” says Dr. Turek, MD, a board-certified men’s health and fertility urologist.

So while unrequited arousal and unreleased orgasms can cause some mild discomfort, it’s nothing a guy can’t handle. You won’t end up writhing around on the ground in agony. Certainly, it’s no reason for you to avoid practicing male chastity.

Anecdotal symptoms of blue balls include—

discomfort or mild pain

heaviness

aching

Why Do Blue Balls Occur?

Because one symptom of blue balls is a feeling of heaviness in the testicles, many men believe they are filled with sperm or semen. That’s not true, actually. The testicles or testes are not tiny warehouses that store semen. Think of them instead as tiny factories that produce sperm and testosterone. Sperm only accounts for about two to five percent of the total volume of semen.

After the testes produce it, sperm travels through the male reproductive tract bathed in seminal fluids. These fluids are made and secreted by tubules and glands. The source of the heaviness and aching sensation down there results from excess blood remaining in the testicles from a wave of arousal not followed by ejaculation. During arousal, blood flows into the penis (erection), testicles, and surrounding areas. When a man achieves orgasm and ejaculates, the blood returns to the body. When he does not, some excess blood remains in the tissues causing the symptoms we call blue balls.

Are Blue Balls Harmful?

There doesn’t appear to be medical evidence that experiencing blue balls resulting from abstaining from orgasm/ejaculation poses any risk to physical or mental health. So if you feel good about practicing chastity, carry on. Like learning to adjust to sleeping while wearing a chastity device, blue balls is something else you grow accustomed to, and it becomes less bothersome.

Also, your balls won’t turn blue while you’re in chastity due to constant, unrequited arousal and semen retention. That’s not to say they won’t turn blue from chastity, but if they do, it’s probably because your base ring is too small and compromising your blood circulation. That is a risk to your physical health, so please remove it immediately.

Getting Rid of Blue Balls

Some people claim that applying ice or cold water (cold showers) can help relieve the pressure down there. Other suggestions include exercise, like light jogging, which may help by moving the excess blood away from your genitals to your muscles. Distracting yourself and even urinating helps, according to others. Sex or masturbation leading to orgasm also gets rid of blue balls. But you’ll have to take that up with your keyholder.

If you’ve suffered from blue balls while locked, do you have any favorite moves that have helped relieve the heaviness and aching?

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Simple Goals For your Best Male Chastity Life

By Chaste on Friday, December 31, 2021

The important thing to remember as you reflect on your chastity experiences last year, and look forward to what you want to accomplish in 2022, is there is no one "right way" to practice chastity.

New Year’s Day often gets a lot of flack for being a largely arbitrary time to set new goals and resolutions for yourself. But what I like about the beginning of a new year is its reminder to approach life with an attitude of intention.

It's a great time to reflect on your goals

As 2021 comes to a close, it’s a great time to reflect on your goals, lessons learned, and what’s most important to you. It’s also a great time to start planning for 2022. Of course, this can apply to male chastity just as well as to anything else.

Maybe you’ve thought about getting your first male chastity device for a while now but haven’t. You’re curious and think you want to explore wearing one, but you’ve never pulled the trigger. Or, maybe you bought an off-the-shelf device this year and tried it, but you haven’t been able to wear it for more than a day or two without taking it off. Usually, that happens because the device you chose doesn’t fit well. Or, perhaps you’re eager for your partner to lock you, but you haven’t found a way to start the conversation with them.

Ask yourself a couple of questions

Start by asking yourself a couple of questions.

What do I envision the chastity life looking like for me in 2022?
What small shift in mindset, habit, or action can I take to achieve this vision in the new year?

These are great questions to ask yourself on this last day of December, and a new chapter in your chaste lifestyle begins. The point isn’t to put pressure on yourself to achieve but rather to embrace radical joy in your chastity.

Because if you’re not enjoying chastity, then what’s the point? Right?

Maybe 2021 was a great year for you, and you feel like you’re on a roll. Or maybe it was a really hard year, and you feel stuck and uninspired.

Wherever you are with male chastity right now, it’s never too late to set (or reset) your goals and create a plan to make the rest of your chaste life the best of your chaste life.

A simple goal-setting process

Here’s a simple goal-setting process that might help:

Write down what you want

Do you want to spend more time locked this year? Finally approach your partner about caging your cock? Find and purchase that chastity device that fits you perfectly?

Imagine that you could have anything you wanted, and you just have to pick what you want off a menu.

Write Down Your Next Steps

Once you’ve figured out what you want, write down what your next step could be to move toward that goal.

If you’re looking at choosing a better fitting, more comfortable device this year, maybe your next step is to get more accurate measurements. In my experience, knowing your measurements and finding a device that fits them as close as possible when you’re completely soft is the best starting point. Then, measure a few times during the day to get more accurate measurements that allow for body changes at different times of the day.

Keep it short and simple so your next step is something you know you can accomplish today or tomorrow in your spare time.

Once you’ve written down that first step, brainstorm and write down the next step and the step after that. The key to accomplishing big things is getting started and keeping going, so don’t over complicate it.

Take Action

Now that you know what you want and have your next steps planned out, it’s time to get started.

Look at your list and pick one thing you can accomplish today.

If you follow this process every day or every week, you’ll be amazed how much progress you can make this year—one step at a time.

Remember what's most important

The important thing to remember as you reflect on your chastity experiences last year, and look forward to what you want to accomplish in 2022, is there is no one “right way” to practice chastity. Some guys will want to work up to a full-time 24×7 scenario and stay locked for weeks or even months at a time, rarely being “allowed” to have an orgasm. A few hours of denial a week is more than sufficient for others. It’s important to understand your individual motivation and goals for being locked rather than setting goals for some arbitrary length of time to stay locked. Figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Keeping a small journal of your successes and failures can help greatly. That was one of the reasons I created this blog.

I’ve had some successes and a few failures this past year in my practice of chastity and what I hoped to achieve with this blog. But I’m starting 2022 with new goals and am excited to see how the new year unfolds. While I intend to practice full-time chastity again this year, which means wearing my chastity device every day, I plan to change up the way I practice chastity to keep things fresh, exciting, and fun. I also have my eye on getting a new custom-fitted device this year that I plan to order before the end of January. I’ll reveal more on both of those things during the coming days.

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Is He Masturbating Instead of Having Sex with You?

By Chaste on Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Question for the women. Is he masturbating instead of having sex with you? If so, there is an easy fix you need to know about.

The other morning I saw this posted on Twitter—

3 women have emailed me a complaint that their men spend hours in the other room watching porn and masturbating. One of them even tried to convince her husband to watch porn together but he refused.

Not long ago, I read this, which was posted by a woman on a men’s health magazine website forum—

Why does my boyfriend masturbate when he could have sex with me instead? Just got home and found the wet spot on the covers..asked him and he denied it…made me mad that he lied about it. He said it’s embarrassing. He said that all men do it. Why does he do it when he has me? Is his hand better than having a girlfriend? He says no it just happens. Can guys get an erection for no reason at all? Confused and kinda hurt about this. Need answers!

It seems a lot of wives and girlfriends out there are freaking out that their partners are masturbating all the time instead of having sex with them. My question is this. Then why aren’t more women interested in locking up their partner’s cock in a chastity cage? It’s an easy fix. Lock up their cocks. Instead of so many guys begging their wives and girlfriends to put them in chastity, you would think it would be women insisting on it.

What Some Women May Not Know About Guys and Masturbation

Men and women have very different sex drives. While I don’t believe the myth that guys are constantly thinking about sex, it is true, generally speaking, that it’s a lot easier for guys to get in the mood.

Take something as innocuous as a guy working at home on his computer. He takes a break to check his Twitter feed and an image of a gorgeous woman showing off her bare breasts pops up. Believe me that is far from unusual on Twitter these days. The platform is literally overrun with sex workers hawking their “fans only” nude photos and film clips for sale on the site. Nothing wrong with that, but on Twitter on any given day, you can see everything from shapely female bare butts, to bare breasts, and even people having sex while checking your feed. Twitter is fast becoming as NSFW as Pornhub. But I digress. The next thing you know, the guy is off Twitter perusing Pornhub and jerking off when he wasn’t even thinking about sex until the boobs popped up on Twitter.

Suffice to say, it’s quite normal for guys to masturbate regularly. For some men it can be once a day, for others two or more times a day, and for still others maybe somewhere between seven and fourteen times a day. Some guys wank to relieve stress or to get to sleep faster, like jerk-off NyQuil. Some do it when they are bored.

Not All Masturbation is Bad

I don’t regard masturbation as the great evil. For couples with a healthy relationship and a happy sex life there can still be a place for self-pleasure as long as it doesn’t detract from the relationship.

For example, if a guy’s partner has a lower sex drive, then masturbating more often can help bridge the libido gap. Or say, you jump into the shower when getting ready for work and feel the urge to knock one out. It’s probably not an instance in which your partner would even want to have sex with you anyway.

But, unfortunately, frequent masturbation can detract from a relationship even if it isn’t a situation where a man stays up for hours watching porn and masturbating with no regard for his partner’s needs.

When Masturbation Becomes Problematic

Masturbation can be problematic for a relationship when it depletes a guy’s libido to the extent he loses interest in having sex regularly with his partner. Some women are lucky enough to have a partner who devotes his sexual energies exclusively to her, fulfilling her desires as completely as he possibly can. But others are less fortunate.

Some have partners who overindulge when it comes to masturbation. And, once a guy has ejaculated and his sexual urges have been satisfied, we know what happens. He becomes less interested in pleasing his partner and far from enthusiastic about helping out around the house.

As guys know, a man’s body chemistry changes after orgasm. The biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him feel sluggish and tired. The release of the chemicals oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid (GABA) and endorphins all contribute to the infamous “roll over and snore” feeling.

What Too Many Women Don't Understand About Chastity

Many Don’t See the Point

First, I think too few women even know about male chastity, or at least don’t know enough about it to understand how they would benefit from caging their man’s penis. They don’t realize how easily they could take away their man’s ability to masturbate and make it so that his orgasms were entirely at their discretion.

When a woman controls exactly how and when her partner is allowed to come, he quickly becomes so desperate for release that he will do whatever it takes to win her favor. As the sole arbiter of his sexual needs, he won’t dare to intentionally do anything to displease her because he is entirely at her mercy. Only she can relieve the burning, consuming frustration. Under those circumstances, a guy will be sure to start putting her satisfaction first knowing that’s his only chance of getting his desires for relief satisfied.

They Think It’s Only a Kink Thing

Some women know a little about male chastity and may even be familiar with cock cages. But they have a faulty perception. They think male chastity is nothing but a kink that is all wrapped up with Female-led relationships, BMSM, or porn. Since many aren’t the whip-cracking dominatrix-types willing to dress in latex corsets and stilettos, nor do they have any interest in taking complete control in the relationship, they aren’t interested in male chastity. They don’t understand that male chastity can be seamlessly introduced into an otherwise vanilla relationship where neither partner has a kinky bone in their bodies.

They Believe Chastity Means a Sexless Relationship

Still other women, women who enjoy PIV sex, think locking up their guy’s penis means they have do without. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. A woman might have her partner wear a chastity device for a few hours as a prelude to some erotic action in the bedroom, guaranteeing she gets his full attention as he strives to satisfy her needs before being able to fulfill his own. Having him wear a cock cage for a few days or a week gives her partner plenty of time to anticipate what may be forthcoming, allowing his passions to be stoked into a frenzy. Getting her partner all fired up by teasing him sexually during this time can strengthen the intimate bonds between them, and is all the more effective since he is helpless to resist. The woman holding the key gets to decide when, how, and how often her needs get satisfied and her satisfaction will always come first. Chastity stops a man from masturbating or otherwise pleasuring himself without her permission and that alone can benefit a woman in ways she might hardly imagine.

There are plenty of ways to incorporate male chastity into a relationship. It doesn’t always have to be permanent or even long-term to be beneficial. While I suspect it is mostly men who visit Cut to the Chaste, I always hope some women are also visiting this site and are learning more about how locking up a guy’s cock can be massively beneficial for them and their relationships. We can help get the word out by directing the women in our lives to resources that accurately portray what male chastity is all about. One excellent resource is Krystine Kellogg’s excellent podcast where she discusses male chastity from the female point of view.

I’m confident that the more women who come to understand male chastity and its benefits for them and their relationships, the more who will not only embrace it, but will insist on it with their partners.

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Chastity And Submission

By Chaste on Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Chastity and submission. Do the two go hand in hand? If you’re a guy who wants to wear a chastity device, does that mean you’re submissive? Let’s talk about that.

So, maybe you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or maybe the woman in your life wants to lock you up. Perhaps it is her idea. But the submissive part of it doesn’t really turn you on all that much. Also, small penis humiliation, sissification, and cuckolding don’t appeal to you at all. Maybe you think chastity only works for submissive guys.

Not So Fast My Friend

A quick chastity web search shows that there is a heck of a lot of people who assume that chastity and male submission go together like peanut butter and jelly. Actually, that kind of thinking is an example of what they call in logic a cum hoc fallacy—jumping to a conclusion about causation based on a correlation between two things, or types of things, which sometimes occur simultaneously.

Some people can’t seem to separate male chastity and male submission in their minds, so they insist no one else can either. Sure, there are plenty of submissive men for whom chastity is yet another path to deeper submission. But the truth is, chastity and male submission don’t necessarily go together like hamburgers and fries.

One Of The Top Male Fantasies

On almost every top male sexual fantasies list, one of the top five most popular sexual fantasies among all kinds of men is being sexually controlled by a powerful, dominant woman.

Guys fantasize about feeling sexually dominated when they’re tired of doing the dominating themselves, or when they have mixed feelings about what they’re doing in that domination where they’re on top.

Add to this that men sometimes get tired of always having to be in control in the bedroom. Traditional gender roles impressed on all of us by societal norms suggest that men are “supposed” to be the initiators of sex while women are the gatekeepers. Chastity presents a significant reversal of those roles. It’s relatively easy to see why many guys, all sorts of guys, find the idea relinquishing control tantalizing. It isn’t only submissive men who have these fantasies.

This is why I think we must avoid making hard-and-fast distinctions between dominance and submission. Guys seem capable of shifting from one role to the other. And even though many may prefer a single sexual stance, still each role seems to offer its own gratifications.

Wearing A Chastity Device Is An Inherently Submissive Act

It can’t be argued that wearing a chastity device isn’t an inherently submissive act. All we have to do to understand that is to look at the definition of sexual submission. Sexual submission is when one individual (the submissive) turns overall sexual control to another (the dominant). The chaste guy (submissive) gives his partner (the dominant) complete control over his access to sexual pleasure, not to mention his penis. There is no logical way to claim that isn’t submission. But submission, when it comes to chastity, can be motivated by two entirely different things.

Role Versus Nature

Submissive men are submissive by nature. They crave to submit because that is what feels right. It’s a need they keenly feel. For them, chastity does deepen that natural disposition. However, many guys want to wear a chastity device because of their own desires, not because a powerful, dominant partner dictates it.

For these men, submission is not their character or personality. They only assume a submissive role while in chastity. After a significant period locked in chastity, they may behave much like their submissive male counterparts. But once they take the device off, they revert to their usual disposition.

Submissive Men Are Misunderstood

Lots of men, otherwise attracted to the chastity lifestyle, are reluctant to be viewed as being submissive. That’s because popular culture assumes submission to be negative, associating it with meekness, weakness, and passivity. Sometimes submissive men are openly mocked by other men (and some women) who don’t regard them as “real men.”

Submissive guys sometimes get treated as intrinsically weak and effeminate. That’s because those who aren’t submissive feel they’re subverting heteronormative gender dynamics in the worst possible way. It’s not only that they’re failing to perform the role of an assertive, masculine male, but they’re also not even trying to perform it. So, it’s easy to see why men who aren’t submissive might be averse to being perceived as submissive.

The truth is, however, submissive guys are not weak, necessarily meek, and not all of them are effeminate. They aren’t violating any “bro code.” They are simply guys who prefer submission to dominance by nature. Here popular culture gets it all wrong.

Signs You May Be A Submissive

For those still worried the desire to wear a chastity device may mean you’re a submissive, and you don’t want it to be true, I have a little test that might help you.

You feel both excited and at peace when the opportunity to submit to your partner arises because it feels natural to you.

Taking control during sex and initiating things feels odd.

You are always in control in your day to day life, whether at work or home, but when it comes to sex, you just want to enjoy yourself and not have to make decisions. You basically want to be a passive sexual partner. Not boring but passive.

You get turned on when dominated or commanded during sexual play.

The idea of pleasing someone turns you on more than the idea of getting pleased.

The idea of disappointing someone greatly upsets you.

If you agree with all those statements, if that’s how you feel, despite your preference, you may be a submissive. If so, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with it.

The Bottom Line

The majority of us are either submissive or dominant by nature. It’s simply ingrained into our personalities and behaviors. Our bodies, our brains, and our sexuality respond to it.

Some people can take on either role just as naturally. We classify these individuals as switches, meaning they are capable of switching roles with ease. Regardless, wearing a chastity device is not going to change your nature. While you may submit to your partner while wearing a device, that isn’t going to transform you into a submissive if you’re not submissive.

I hope reading this post was beneficial to you. Understanding yourself and coming to terms with your sexual style and nature can make you feel more at ease. Sexuality is an essential aspect of a person’s overall well-being, yet many times it’s overlooked when people self reflect. But it’s an important piece of the puzzle we call “self,” and until we understand and come to grips with this piece, we will never feel as complete or content.

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The Science Of Male Chastity

By Chaste on Wednesday, June 17, 2020

One of the things I read at the beginning about chastity that most intrigued me was the behavioral changes that chaste men experience. That’s really what persuaded me to try it. I wanted to learn for myself whether those things actually occurred.

Recently, I read a post, “Behavioral Changes,” over on the Male Chastity Journal blog. One of the blog readers there, a chaste man, posted a comment about the behavioral changes his wife had noticed. What he shared is an excellent illustration of what I want to talk about in this post.

Observed Behavioral Changes

Here is what he said:

“I asked her what the benefits were to her and she said:

You listen to me more and pay me more attention
You are more loving and tactile – more hugs and kisses
The house is tidier as you do more things
I feel desired and adored
We have sex more often
We have less arguments and disagreements
You seem happier and less stressed – and I know now that if you do seem grumpy or stressed that a good spanking helps alleviate that.
Generally I feel happier and there is more romance in our everyday life.”

Those are precisely the type of reported changes that had intrigued me. Having since learned by experience they do occur, the next natural question is why. That I have discovered, is easily explained by the science of male chastity.

Biochemical Mechanisms Connected With Sexual Release

Have you ever considered how your sex life affects things like your emotional state, frame of mind, and behavior? If you have, or if you think about it now, you might conclude that a relationship exists between sex and mood.

A lot of scientific research has been performed in the area of the biochemical mechanisms that occur before, during, and after sexual gratification. As a result, the relationship between the brain, sexual release, and the science behind male chastity is well understood by researchers.

The Role Of Neurotransmitters

The brain is a complex organ. Many different neurotransmitters direct the brain, which produces changes in our moods throughout the day, and throughout our lives. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers in the brain that shuttle across the spaces between cells. These messengers then bind to docking-station molecules called receptors. Those receptors relay the signal carried by the neurotransmitter from one cell to its neighbor.

There are three of these neurotransmitters which are most involved with sexual activity—dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin.

Dopamine

Different neurotransmitters are made in different parts of the brain. Two main brain areas produce dopamine. One is called the substantia nigra. It’s a tiny strip of tissue on either side of the base of your brain. It sits in a region known as the mid-brain. Close by is the ventral tegmental area. It, too, makes dopamine.

The ventral tegmental area sends dopamine into the brain when animals (including humans) expect or receive a reward. That reward might be a delicious slice of chocolate cake, pizza, a favorite song, or sexual gratification. This dopamine release tells the brain that whatever it just experienced, it’s worth getting more. And that helps animals and humans alter their behaviors in ways that will help them attain more of the rewarding item or experience.

Dopamine even affects moods. Things that are rewarding tend to make us feel pretty good. Lowering dopamine can make us lose interest in activities we usually find pleasurable. Dopamine does a lot of things, but here we’re focusing on the relationship between dopamine levels and sexual activity. Since dopamine is commonly associated with the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, it can cause feelings of pleasure if we partake in or anticipate having sexual activity.

Oxytocin

Oxytocin often called the love drug, is a powerful hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It is responsible for feelings of trust, connectedness, closeness, and protection. While a burst of oxytocin is produced during orgasm, oxytocin is released during all forms of intimate activity, which includes touching, hugging, and caressing.

Prolactin

Prolactin is a hormone and neurotransmitter produced in the pituitary gland. Two main hormones, one of which is dopamine, control prolactin production. Dopamine sends a message to the pituitary gland, primarily indicating whether to begin or cease the production of prolactin. Dopamine restrains the production of prolactin.

This neurotransmitter has over three hundred uses within the body, but it’s effects on orgasm are the most well researched in comparison to others. An orgasm, through either physical sex or masturbation, results in the pituitary gland releasing a large amount of prolactin into the bloodstream. Prolactin in men directly affects the refractory period after orgasm before they can maintain an erection and engage in sexual activities again.

Role Of Neurotransmitters In Chastity

Here are some simple details that explain the role of the three essential neurotransmitters in chastity.

Dopamine is the intense pleasure hormone, a built-in reward system. We might call dopamine the crack cocaine of neurotransmitters. It produces high highs, followed by a deep crash. As chaste males, we want dopamine.

Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” is involved in bonding, intimacy, and trust. Keyholders want oxytocin because this hormone is what produces the positive behavioral changes in a chaste male that the keyholder finds beneficial.

Prolactin can be called the “satisfaction hormone.” It’s like the antidote to the dopamine and oxytocin. At orgasm, when a large amount of prolactin gets released, it shuts down the sex stuff. In chastity relationships between a chaste male and his partner keyholder, no one wants this.

Takeaway

Dopamine levels continually increase over time through frequent sexual play and intimacy with your partner when you do not get sexual release. For some guys, just wearing a chastity device can increase their dopamine levels because they find it arousing. That all helps to maintain the sense of constant, heightened arousal chaste men crave.

The dopamine contributes to the release of oxytocin, which is what causes chaste males to pay more attention to their partner keyholders, behave more affectionately and caring, become less argumentative, and feel happier and less stressed in general. Oxytocin builds up and stays high all the time, making chaste men more attentive, aroused, and eager to please their keyholder. The more teasing, the more oxytocin. The gradual increase in oxytocin levels continues as long as there is teasing, and the keyholder denies him orgasm.

Once a keyholder allows a chaste man to orgasm, there is a massive release of oxytocin and dopamine, which in turn produces the release of prolactin. Almost instantly, he loses sexual desire, intimate feelings, and submissiveness. It then takes as many as seven to ten days to rebuild the levels of dopamine and oxytocin. It’s easy to see why many keyholders ration orgasms carefully.

Chaste men do experience behavioral changes. Now you know the established scientific reasons why it occurs.