Tips for Guys New to Chastity Archives

Top Solo Teasing Tips for Self-Locked Guys

By Chaste on Wednesday, January 5, 2022

All too often, guys new to chastity think that a chastity device is the magic, but it’s not. The magic is the euphoric high from constant arousal and frustration felt beginning after the first two or three days of having your penis locked in a cage, depending on the man’s level of chastity experience. That’s why teasing is important and these top solo teasing tips for self-locked guys might help.

Sustained enjoyment of the time spent wearing a cock cage depends on frequent teasing. The cage only forces you to redirect your sexual energy elsewhere instead of allowing it to escape the tip of your penis when having sex or wanking. If you want to ruin the experience of self-locking, ignore the teasing, and you will likely find it deeply unsatisfying.

One Disadvantage to Self-Enforced Male Chastity

One disadvantage to self-enforced male chastity is not having a keyholder to provide teasing. So, if your circumstances mean you must go solo and self-lock, you must also provide your own teasing if you want to have a meaningful, enjoyable experience. Guys who have self-locked for a while probably already know the importance of frequent self-teasing and what works for them. But for guys new to the lifestyle and self-locking, these tips can help.

One of the Best Things About the Male Chastity Journey

One of the best things about the male chastity journey is guys often learn, many for the first time, that the penis is not the only male erogenous zone—an area of the male body that has heightened sensitivity, the stimulation of which may generate a sexual response. For many men, focusing on the penis has always given them the pleasure they were looking for, so they haven’t bothered looking elsewhere. But losing access to the penis while wearing a cock cage is an opportunity to learn about other areas of your body that respond to stimulation and produce some satisfying sexual fun. Following are three suggestions for teasing activities that will help you do just that.

#1 Butt Play

Let’s start with one area of the body that offers effective and satisfying self-teasing, one of my personal favorites, butt play. The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings. Add this to its proximity to the prostate, and you have yourself a literal sexual teasing hot spot. Since some people still regard anal play as taboo, not everyone has explored it in a meaningful way. But from prostate massages to anal sex toys, rear entry can produce some very satisfactory results when self-teasing, no ifs, ands, or (pun intended) butts.

If you’re new to the world of anal pleasure, get ready to discover that the anal area can be an intensely pleasurable play zone. While many people are more than happy to just play around the entrance, adding penetration to your sexual playlist can add even more satisfying sensations. But first, a few basics.

In essence, the purpose of the anus is to expel waste. So while penetrating your anus can definitely be pleasurable, that’s sort of the opposite the anus is designed to do. Also, unlike a vagina that lubricates itself and helps ease the way, the anus has no self-lubricating properties. That’s why the mantra of anal play is to use lube, lube, and more lube. Without using the appropriate type and amount of lubrication, you run a genuine risk of damaging the anus’s extremely delicate tissues.

There are many types of lubricants available for butt play, but adequately covering lubrication would require an article all its own. So, I’ll leave it to you to do your own homework as information abounds on the internet about personal lubricants.

Anal Training

In addition to lubrication, if you’re new to anal play, stretching your butt hole is the other key component of pleasurable backdoor play. It isn’t nearly as scary as it sounds, and no, it isn’t permanent.

Technically, anal stretching is anything that gradually stretches the anus and allows you to insert things that you couldn’t comfortably accommodate in the past. This means that for absolute beginners who’ve never tried anal experiences before, it might mean working up gradually from a single finger to larger objects. Anal stretching, achieved through anal training, is surprisingly simple to do. Once you can comfortably insert a finger, all you need are anal toys, plenty of lubricants, and some time and patience.

Anal Training Kits

Adult toy manufacturers provide everything you need for anal training in a single kit. Anal training kits vary in price, but you can find a kit like this one on Amazon with four medical-grade silicone anal plugs for under twenty bucks. This kit also comes with an enema bulb that helps keep things clean and a tube of lubricant. Instead of regurgitating the information on anal training, here is a link to an excellent anal training guide on Kinkly.com.

How Often Should You Train

How often should you train to get the desired results? It comes down to your comfort level but aim to train once or twice a day, at least five days a week, for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Stick with the smallest size for 1 to 2 weeks and gradually increase the time you keep the plug inserted before moving to the next size up. Once you feel no resistance or discomfort when inserting, then congrats. You’re ready to step up to the next size.

Incorporating Anal Play Into Your Teasing Routine

Incorporating anal play into your teasing routine is easy, and there are countless variations. But I’ll give you a few examples of how I do it to get you started.

I insert a butt plug most days and then go about my usual routine. Once you get accustomed to anal penetration with toys, there is nothing you can’t do with one inserted. I’ve gone to the gym, taken long walks, and ran for miles with them inserted. I’ve had them in at work and while out running errands. Variety, as it’s said, is the spice of life. So I often change it up. I might leave a plug inserted for several hours at a time some days, and others, I leave one in for a half-hour and then remove it. Then later in the day, I’ll put it back in for another half hour. Butt plugs are one of my go-to strategies for keeping my sexual arousal peaking throughout the day.

Besides anal plugs, I have an assortment of dildos, prostate massagers, and vibrating butt toys I regularly use for teasing. One of my favorites is a smooth, Pyrex glass dildo that functions well as a prostate stimulator. It’s the toy I used to discover the joys of prostate milking. Additionally, a dildo with a suction cup base can provide intense faux pegging sessions. So, the options for toys and play activities are almost limitless and will go a long way toward providing the teasing you need to stay enthralled with male chastity.

#2 Life on the Edge

Edging (also called surfing, peaking, teasing, and more) is the practice of stopping yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re on the cusp—the metaphorical “edge” right before you fall off the cliff into sexual climax. It’s another go-to technique I use to maintain high arousal and do edging sessions twice each week.

Experimentation is essential in learning to edge without accidentally going past the point of no return where orgasm is inevitable. Only through practice do you learn to recognize the cues that you are close to orgasm and ejaculation. For guys in chastity, it’s better to stop the stimulation sooner rather than later. Then wait until the urge to orgasm subsides before continuing.

You can remove your chastity device temporarily and use good old-fashioned wanking to do an edging session, or if you have a vibrator, you can simply touch it to your cage and do edges that way. I use both techniques but find I have more control and am less prone to accidents when using the manual wanking method. Also, you can use websites designed to help you with edging. For example, this article on the Joi and Asmr website has links to three of the best edging websites on the internet.

If you’ve never tried edging, this article on Healthline.com is a good primer. It explains what edging is, its benefits, and ways to do it.

#3 Balls to the Wall Ball Sex

Guys give so much attention to their penises that we often ignore our testicles during solo play. But locking your penis in a cage is an opportunity to get more in touch with your balls. And ball sex can help keep you all hot and bothered while practicing solo male chastity.

Fondling, caressing, tugging, twisting, stretching, or even on occasion, slapping the testicles can be pleasurable. However, as opposed to the penis itself, which millions of years of evolution have made somewhat durable, the testicles predominantly aren’t and are generally very sensitive. So, it’s best to avoid excess tension, torsion, impacts, or squeezing as there’s a risk of injury, including the permanent variety. I find that giving my testicles, while tightly trapped in the base ring of a chastity device, an extended fondling and massage with massage oil is not only arousing but soothing.

Do any of these tips for self-teasing resonate with you?

Whatever you choose to do, don’t skip the teasing if you’re practicing self-enforced chastity. Make time for it. And don’t forget there are things like insert and forget anal plugs you can do that require no time at all away from your usual daily routine. Keeping your arousal peaking will make self-locking so much more enjoyable and meaningful since teasing coupled with denial is what gets those pleasure hormones and endorphins flowing.

Tips for Guys New to Chastity

5 Easy Ways to Make Solo Chastity More Fun

By Chaste on Sunday, January 2, 2022

Is there any point to wearing a chastity device if you don’t have someone to hold your keys? What’s a single guy to do? Maybe these 5 easy ways to make solo chastity more fun can help.

Ideally, if you’re interested in experiencing male chastity, you have a partner or someone else to act as your keyholder. But that’s not an option for many of us who are single. As a result, solo or self chastity is the default option.

Is Solo Chastity Even Chastity?

Many guys have told me they saw no point in solo chastity since it made no sense to be both the jailer and the prisoner. One guy said self-locking isn’t even chastity because it lacks the basic foundation of chastity, a power transfer from the male to his keyholder. I beg to differ. Sure, the power transfer is an integral part when a partner locks you. But the dynamics involved between chastity with a keyholder and self-locking are only different. Solo chastity is still chastity because it meets the term’s basic definition, which is simply the state or practice of refraining from sexual gratification. With a chastity device and a little willpower, any guy can do meaningful male chastity, even without a partner to hold the keys.

As someone with considerable experience with self-locking, I know it isn’t easy. When you are your own keyholder, the temptation to unlock yourself is always high. But you can turn the self-locking experience into a fun mental game against yourself that will still be meaningful and fun. You can also have much of the same experiences by self-locking and reap many of the same benefits as guys fortunate enough to have someone else to hold their keys.

Here I’m sharing five easy ways to make solo chastity more fun and meaningful.

#1 Give Away the Key

Even if you don’t have an intimate partner, if you think about who you know, there might be a friend or even an ex-partner that wouldn’t even hesitate to help you out by holding your key. No, it wouldn’t be the same as having an intimate partner acting as your keyholder since people like that wouldn’t likely agree to provide you with sexual teasing. But at least you would experience physical separation from the key and the power exchange, which would certainly raise the bar.

Absent a friend or ex-partner to ask for help, you could even ask a co-worker, neighbor, or other acquaintance to hold the key for you. You probably wouldn’t tell them what the key is for, but only that you needed someone to hold onto it for a while. Male chastity is becoming more mainstream, so the keys for chastity devices are somewhat recognizable. Instead of giving such a person the actual key to your chastity device, if you have a safe deposit box or post office box, you ask them to hold that key after putting your chastity device lock key inside.

If you follow this tip, just make sure you keep a key for emergencies and for when you need to remove the device for regular cleaning. Before I built up enough willpower that I trusted myself with possession of an emergency key, I used to freeze it inside a block of ice that I kept in the freezer. Then, ordinarily, when it was time for a cleaning, I’d give the ice time to thaw and retrieve the key. But in an emergency, I could have always used a hammer to access the key immediately.

#2 Engage a Professional Keyholder

Here is an option I’ve used, and I think it is the next best thing to having an intimate partner as a keyholder. Most professional dominant women who offer keyholding services also provide some form of sexual teasing as part of the deal or at least offer the option for an additional cost. Yes, you do have to pay them because that’s how they earn a living. Some professional Dommes and Dominatrices are quite pricey. But I’ve found professional women who offer professional keyholding at prices well within my budget. I’ve only engaged pro keyholders online, but if you live in a large city, you can probably find professionals with whom you can schedule face-to-face sessions for locking, unlocking, and teasing.

I have seen women on social media sites like Twitter offering professional keyholding services. But I wouldn’t recommend looking for one there if social media is their only online presence. A professional Domme or Dominatrix should at least have a professional website that spells out her requirements and fees for keyholding. Otherwise, you don’t know what you might be getting yourself into.

A question I often get is where to find a woman willing to do keyholding for free or at least on the cheap. Believe me that isn’t reality. Maybe there are sadistic women out there willing to hold the keys of some guy they don’t even know for the sheer enjoyment of locking his penis and subjecting him to merciless teasing. Anything is possible. But I’ve never met such a woman and even if I did, I don’t think I’d entrust the key to my chastity device to one just to save a few bucks.

Many professional keyholders don’t advertise because of variances in the laws depending upon where one lives and can even be difficult to find with internet searches. Weirdly enough, most of the professionals I’m aware of live abroad. I’ve found a few pricey ones in the US, but the vast majority I know about live in other countries. So unless you live in one of those countries, you’re limited to online interaction. But that’s worked for me. Not long ago, I learned that House of Denial, a UK-based chastity device retailer, now offers a keyholding referral service with professionals they have vetted. You can peruse their list of over a dozen professionals by visiting https://www.houseofdenial.com/pages/keyholding-services.

#3 Start With Modest Goals

If you’re new to wearing a chastity device, don’t try to do too much too soon. Most guys I know that tried self-locking and quickly gave it up tried to go from zero to sixty right off the jump. Then, when their penises got sore, they decided wearing chastity devices wasn’t for them. So, when trying to wear one for the first time, take it easy.

When I started, I had a pro keyholder who knows her stuff, and she forced me to go slowly. I started by wearing the cage for a half-day, then a full day, then overnight. I progressed to 72 hours and then to a full week, a month, and finally three full months. As a result, I never experienced anything beyond minor discomfort and easily acclimated to wearing the device. After my first three months under the supervision of the pro, I felt confident enough to try self-locking, and I’ve since remained locked for six months and recently a full year (and counting). If you follow my advice and take it slow, you will set yourself up for success instead of almost certain failure. And you will reap many of the benefits of chastity even without a keyholder.

#4 Find a Diversion

After a few days locked, rather than distracting you from horny thoughts, the device draws attention to them. That’s going to make the temptation to unlock and take care of business more unbearable. You can counter that by finding a diversion. What worked for me (and still does) was starting a new exercise regimen. I started walking first since I had let myself go for years and wasn’t fit, then stepped up to running. I’ve progressed to running six days a week during my past year locked and have shed over fifty pounds. I feel ten years younger and have the energy to burn now. Exercise keeps me from thinking about unlocking and looking for sex or returning to my past masturbation habits.

#5 Use a Timer Padlock or Timer Locked Container

These days, plenty of technology exists to aid your self-lock efforts. There are both timer padlocks and timer locked containers that will keep the keys to your device securely locked for the time you set (up to 999 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds). The locks and containers won’t open until the time you set expires. Both are available on Amazon and from other retailers. Containers are available for under $40. Most are large enough to accommodate a cell phone since they are designed for people looking to curb their dependence on smartphones, cigarettes, etc. The padlocks, which sell for around $30, are too large to lock a chastity device and likely not waterproof. But they can be used to lock a container holding your chastity device keys. A simple hack is to use an empty plastic soda or water bottle as a container. With the lid screwed on, simply drill a hole through the lid from one side to the other large enough to accommodate the lock’s cable hasp. Then unscrew the lid, drop your keys inside the bottle, replace the lid, and install the lock.

There is No One Right Way to Do Male Chastity

Never let some know it all tell you that self-locking is not real chastity. It is a viable option for those who want the experience and benefits of male chastity but who don’t have an intimate partner for a keyholder and aren’t necessarily even looking to get into a relationship. For me, I’d have to have some very good reasons for wanting another relationship beyond wanting a built-in keyholder. And solo chastity can provide many of the same benefits experienced by guys who have a keyholder. For example, without the distraction of masturbation and porn, I’m far more productive than before I embraced male chastity. Wearing a chastity device can also lead to developing an increase in self-control, willpower, and determination, qualities that transcend the realm of chastity devices and positively affect an individual’s daily life in other important areas. And, guys who self lock, enjoy stronger more enjoyable orgasms when they do eventually give themselves sexual release after enduring a period of denial. Hopefully, you will find these 5 easy ways to make solo chastity more fun useful in the practice of solo male chastity.

Tips for Guys New to Chastity

Chastity Lessons From Basic Training

By Chaste on Friday, November 20, 2020

Most of what I need to know about life, I learned during basic training. If you’re new to wearing a chastity device, mastering these chastity lessons from basic training can help you acclimate faster to wearing a cock cage for extended periods with fewer problems.

Every recruit must make it through basic training before they earn the right to be called soldiers. During boot camp, recruits get a crash course in military lifestyle, learn the skills necessary to accomplish the mission, acquire discipline, and develop habits to meet proper dress and grooming standards.

In this post, we adapt a few lessons from basic training to help the guys new to the chaste lifestyle succeed.

1. Details Matter

In basic training recruits quickly learn that details matter. Attention is to detail is the only way to meet the expected standards of performance. The same is true when it comes to chastity devices.

Today, there may be a thousand different models of chastity devices. Who knows? By now there could be ten thousand. Not every cock cage will work for every guy. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is purchasing an incorrectly sized, ill-fitting cage. And making that mistake is totally avoidable. When choosing your first chastity device, details matter.

Key Measurements

There are three key measurements to take when in comes to chastity devices.

Length of your flaccid penis (for cage length).
Girth or circumference of your flaccid penis (for internal cage diameter).
Girth or circumference of the base of your penis and scrotum (for base ring diameter).

These key measurements determine the proper cage length, internal diameter of the cage, and diameter of the base ring.

Getting the Measurements Right

Mature Metal offers this handy measuring guide that can help you get accurate measurements. In addition to using their guide, I recommend you purchase Mature Metal’s set of plastic sizing rings ($25 at time of publication) to obtain the most accurate base ring size.

Believe me, it’s worth spending the money for the sizing rings. Incorrectly sized base rings cause new guys more problems than most anything else. If the ring is too small, it will never feel comfortable. If it’s too large, you will experience ball slippage or the device might even come off on its own.

Even if you’re going with an inexpensive off-the-shelf model instead of a pricier custom-made device, accurate measurements will help. Now, even the lower end cage manufactures are generally giving at least the basic measurements for their devices.

With a properly fitted cock cage, the skin of your penis should touch all around. It should touch all sides of the internal circumference of the cage and at the tip. A cage that is longer than your flaccid penis or that is significantly larger than the girth of your cock will cause you more problems when you have the normal nocturnal erections that occur during the night.

Avoid cages that are too long, but don’t worry about too short. There is really no such thing as too short a cage. Your soft penis can compress painlessly to a surprisingly short length. That’s why guys are able to wear the incredibly short micro-cage devices. If it needs to, your penis will “turtle” inside your body.

2. Walk-Crawl-Run Methodology

The crawl, walk, and run methodology of training is the foundation for how the military trains during basic to demanding, yet achievable standards. It’s a good idea to use the same methodolgy when learning to wear a cock cage. Few guys will be able to put on a chastity cage for the first time and wear it indefinitely.

Chastity devices are attached to some of the most sensitive skin areas on your body. Even with a properly-sized, well-fitting device, chances are you will develop skin irritation and sore spots until your skin toughens up and adjusts to the cage. That’s why in the walk phase, you should only wear the device for an hour or so at a time for the first day. Gradually increase the wear time during the next day or two. Then, once things feel comfortable, you can try the walk phase, wearing your cock cage for a full day.

Never wear a new cage to sleep in until you’ve worn it for a full day and haven’t experienced any significant problems like circulation impairment or real pain. Some mild discomfort is to be expected, but pain isn’t normal. If something hurts, remove the cage and figure out what it wrong.

Once you’ve slept comfortably overnight in your device, you’re ready for the run phase where you can try wearing the cage for an extended time.

3. Keep It Neat and Tidy

In basic training, everyone is clean-shaven, buildings are kept clean, and the equipment is kept clean. In the same way, good hygiene practices are a must when it comes to wearing chastity devices.

If you choose one of the open-type cage devices, generally you can keep things adequately clean with your usual shower or bath. But if you choose one of the solid, enclosed tube devices, it’s good practice to remove it every few days for proper cleaning. While I usually wear an open-type stainless steel cage, I still remove it once a week for a thorough cleaning.

After cleaning your body and inspecting your genitals for minor injuries like broken skin and excessive redness, clean the device thoroughly with soap and water. With metal cages, I prefer to sterilize mine by submerging it in boiling water for 15-20 minutes. After cleaning, let the cage dry thoroughly before putting it back on.

With regard to good grooming practices, keeping your pubes trimmed is a must. I use a small battery operated beard trimmer on mine to keep the hair trimmed to about one-quarter inch in length. Shaving your pubic area bare is fine if it is something you’re already accustomed to doing. But if that hasn’t been your habit, breaking in a new chastity device is no the time to start as it can contribute to more skin irritation.

4. Practice Makes Perfect

Expect and accept setbacks. One of the key things recruits learn how to do in basic training is to adapt and overcome setbacks.

I’ve had too many guys tell me they have tried wearing a chastity device but just couldn’t get beyond wearing it for an hour or two. Sometimes the problem is a poorly fitted cage. But often it is something minor like they developed skin irritation or sore spots that could be easily addressed with the application of a good quality personal lubricant and just weren’t prepared to deal with the minor discomfort.

In my experience, it takes about a week for your skin to toughen and grow accustomed to the chastity device hanging off your junk. After that, it is usually smooth sailing.

Especially when you’re just getting started, it’s a good idea to apply a little lubricant—silicone-based, water based, baby oil—around the inside of the base ring and the inside of the cage. This can help prevent skin irritation before it happens. If you experience broken skin, don’t be afraid to remove the cage for a day or two. Apply a little antibiotic cream and wait until it heals. Then start over with a wearing schedule and proper lubrication.

5. There Is No "I" in Team

During basic training, recruits learn how to work as a member of a team. You don’t have to do chastity alone. Websites like Cut to the Chaste, where you can find tips, chastity device reviews, and more, exist for the sole purpose of helping you learn about and acclimate to the chaste lifestyle.

6. Drive on

Once, as a “boot” cock cage wearer, you can wear your chastity cage for several days at a time, drive on. You can then start to push your boundaries and wear it for longer and longer periods. In the immortal words of the infamous Drill Instructor, Major Payne, “You’re still a shit sandwich, you’re just not a soggy one.”

Advanced Individual Training

After basic training, comes advanced individual training. When you’re ready for it, grab your copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chasity, everything you need to know about male chastity in the twenty-first century.