The Question Every Guy Who Wants Permanent Chastity Should Ask Himself

Why?

Why do I want this?

Sure, not every kinky act needs to be examined deeply. Take a foot fetish for example. Many sources I’m familiar with say among men especially, feet and objects associated with feet, are the most common sexual fetishes. The word “foot” was the most popular fetish term on Pornhub in 2022, and having a foot fetish doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with power exchanges or dominance and submission. A guy can love playing with a woman’s feet and find it sexually arousing without being submissive. This type of fetish doesn’t require deep introspection.

But like many other kink activities, I submit that the desire to wear a chastity device permanently and have someone enforce your chastity by holding the key is a kink or fetish that you should understand why you desire to experience it.

For one thing, knowing why you want to wear a chastity device helps you determine whether you truly want permanent chastity or whether relatively short periods of chastity from time to time might fit you better.

I think for many guys, permanent chastity is only an arousing fantasy, because I’ve heard and read so many stories from guys who, after a partner or other keyholder imposed it on them, they discovered they didn’t really want it at all. What was so hot and arousing to think about turned out to be far less enjoyable when the fantasy became reality. That’s why we so often hear in chastity circles, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Another reason every guy who wants to wear a chastity device permanently should examine and understand his motives is because the real motivation behind it could actually be something that could cause harm. This is especially true of one activity that many think (mistakenly I believe) relates directly to chastity, cuckolding.

I don’t see cuckolding relating directly to chastity in the sense it is not the logical next step for everyone in some chastity progression. I’m not shaming someone else’s kink, but cuckolding isn’t for me. No matter how long I practice chastity by wearing a chastity cage, I will never ask a woman to cuckold me. Nor would I seek a relationship with a woman who wanted that. It’s just not my thing. And I believe cuckolding, even for someone who asks for it, can be harmful.

On chastity forums, we usually find only those couples where cuckolding has worked out well. Both partners are happy with it. And it works for some. But I’ve also read many stories where cuckolding destroyed relationships when the bull or other third party lover simply replaced the cuckolded partner.

Also, I’ve read stories from so many men who say because they have a small penis, have ED, or something else where they can’t satisfy their partner sexually, they deserve to be locked in a chastity cage permanently and their partner deserves to get sexually satisfied by a more sexually capable man. That sounds awfully altruistic of them. But I often wonder if low self-esteem isn’t a part of the dynamic for these men. Maybe they crave humiliation because they believe they deserve to be humiliated. That’s not necessarily healthy.

And when I hear how they get off sexually from watching another man have sex with their partner or at least having her give them a blow by blow account of it later, I suspect maybe they care more about getting their fantasies enacted than they truly care about their partner. Maybe they aren’t so altruistic after all.

Seriously examining why we are doing something isn’t something most of us enjoy or even want to do. But asking why we want permanent chastity and understanding the underlying reasons is something I think is important. Here is another common scenario.

A guy decides he wants his partner to keep him in chastity permanently. He works up the nerve to discuss it with her. At first, she is reluctant and doesn’t find it interesting at all. But he persuades her to try, and she agrees.

Suddenly, she discovers she actually enjoys keeping him locked. What started as a few days or a week, becomes several weeks, a month, and then several months. She realizes whenever she unlocks him and allows him sexual relief, for days afterward, his behavior isn’t nearly as pleasant and compliant as when she has kept him locked and denied for weeks on end. Soon, she grows reluctant to unlock him at all. And by then, he has learned that chastity and denial are hard, and the long stretches are not the wonderfully pleasurable experiences he had imagined. He doesn’t want to do it anymore.

This is a situation that can cause friction in a relationship. Maybe she feels he is now taking from her something positive that she has learned she wants. At the very least, he will find it much harder to convince her to ever try something new in the future.

Sometimes, no matter how certain you are that you want something like permanent chastity, you need to ask yourself hard questions and answer them honestly. This can save you, and sometimes your partner, much grief down the road.