Tag Archives: permanent chastity
31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice?

By on Wednesday, October 11, 2023

The experience of chastity begins with experimentation. Often interest in chastity is fueled by fantasy initially. The practice of chastity with the male wearing a chastity device can heighten eroticism and make foreplay more long lasting. Whether someone wears a device for only a few hours or for longer terms, there is no such thing as doing it wrong. However you and your partner choose to do chastity, as long as it feels right for your relationship is doing it right. Chastity means differing things to different people. As long as you and your partner have fun with it and enjoy it, that’s all that matters. It can include a little tease and denial, or some bedroom D/s. But often, when a couple finds that chastity benefits their relationship, one or both may develop an interest in moving beyond chastity play to something more permanent. And we can consider a more permanent style of chastity as a lifestyle choice, today’s topic.

What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your lifestyle?

While it’s fair to say I’m at the beginning of what I hope will become something more permanent with Lucie, I already view chastity as a lifestyle something positive and something I’m willing and eager to explore with her. Within our relationship, I advocate for it, but Lucie hasn’t yet decided if she is ready for us to step up to that level of commitment. It isn’t because she doesn’t enjoy what we’ve experienced. She has assured me of that. But Lucie feels that virtual play, while it can be fun and rewarding over the short-term, has its limitations. Believing that there is only so much we can do virtually before one or both of us grows bored, she doesn’t yet feel convinced a permanent arrangement would work long-term.

I think part of the reason Lucie feels unsure is that she is something of a perfectionist. She feels strongly that every service she provides, not only to me, to all of her clients, must be perfect. As a result, in my humble opinion, Lucie puts far more time and effort into every session than is actually necessary. As an example, when we first met, I signed up for a 5-9 day chastity period as a trial session. I wanted to get to know Lucie and to see whether we developed chemistry before I would agree to something longer. And that short 5-9 day session came with the promise of 5-7 teasing tasks.

By the time the session ended 9 days later, Lucie had actually given me a task to complete every single day, two more than she had promised. She is definitely an under promise, over deliver type. Of course, I loved every minute of it. And after my first experience with her, I definitely wanted more Lucie. Every session after the first only got better and the chemistry I was looking for quickly developed. Lucie continued to give me more than she promised each time, as far as the teasing. Not only that, but every task was always new. I never repeated the same task twice. That’s why I think Lucie believes there is only so much that can be done virtually before it feels stale and no longer fun.

I get that, of course. When someone feels as Lucie does, that she has to give so much effort every time, and continue coming up with new ideas for assignments, the most creative person on the planet is going to run out of new ideas eventually. I know I would, and I think I’m a reasonably imaginative and creative person. For a more permanent arrangement to work, I think Lucie will have to understand and accept she puts too much of herself into every session and it isn’t even necessary.

I’ve told her she does too much many times over the past several months, yet she hasn’t slacked off one bit. Not to say I don’t love doing the tasks for her, but I would stay just as aroused and feel just as frustrated with a lot fewer tasks.

Of course, I always want her to feel free to assign me as many tasks as she wishes because she is the dominant and is in control. I only hope she will understand eventually that I would feel just as satisfied and content with something far less than getting a task assignment every single day. Also, I wouldn’t mind repeating tasks because her tasks are always fun and accomplish her intent. And it would be much easier for Lucie to do things like assigning one task, edging with a vibe against the cage, for example, that I would complete every day for an entire week before she assigned another.

I suggest things like that, but I never wish Lucie to feel as though I’m attempting to top from the bottom. So, I don’t bring my ideas up again and again. She will have to decide how it works for us, but until she accepts that she does way more than she needs to do to keep me happy, I know a permanent relationship wouldn’t last long because she is the one who would eventually feel bored or even suffer burnout.

Yes, I prefer chastity as a lifestyle choice to short-term play. I feel sure that’s what I want and would work best for me. But it isn’t only up to me. Lucie has to want the same thing for it to work. And I have no right to try to coerce her into something she doesn’t want just because I want it. I have felt more hopeful during the last month that we are going to come to an agreement that works for us both because Lucie has added things to the mix that I know she does only for me.

As much as I want something more like chastity as a lifestyle with Lucie, she is about the least predicable woman I’ve ever known. So I have no way of predicting whether she will ever decide to take me on as permanent chastity submissive. But that’s okay. Since our first session, she has generously continued to play with me with no breaks, and we could say, in one sense, it has had a permanent feel all along. I hope she doesn’t get bored or feel burned out. But I can’t control that. Lucie will continue to do as she wishes. And if she grows tired of our arrangement and doesn’t want to continue, then I’ll just appreciate all the experiences she has given me. All I know for sure is until the day comes when she doesn’t want to continue, if it should, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just enjoy it as long as it lasts because Lucie is that good.

For tomorrow’s post, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 12, I’m departing from the script for the first time since the prompt doesn’t really apply to my experiences. So, instead of the original Day 12 topic, I’ll discuss limits during chastity play, which I think is an important subject. I’ll share my thoughts on this prompt:

What are your hard limits? Tell us about any hard limits you have related to chastity play. Activities your partner might enjoy and want to explore with you, but that you’re unwilling to do.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 7: Your Toy Box

Day 8: Look!

Day 9: Listen

Day 10: How Long?

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31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 10: How Long?

By on Tuesday, October 10, 2023

There were several views about how long a chastised male should remain locked and denied orgasm. Among couples, even in a virtual relationship like mine, keyholders who seriously practice chastity decide. There are several things a keyholder should take into consideration when deciding about how long her male spends locked in his device and denied orgasm. Most experienced keyholders say the best approach is striking a balance between keeping their man completely denied while giving him some hope of gaining a release to maintain his interest in the dynamic. Here on the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 10, I will share my longest period of confinement and denial and about what I see my future in chastity looking like.

What’s the longest your partner has kept you locked and denied? What’s your goal?

Sixty days was the longest uninterrupted length of time a keyholder had kept me locked before I met Lucie. Lucie has long since smashed that record and as of today has kept me locked and denied for 96 days. I have self-locked for much longer periods, but in my experience at least, I found that easier to do than when I’ve had a keyholder. It’s never been more challenging than it has with Lucie because she is a woman who truly loves the art of the tease. If she gets even a hint that my arousal and frustration levels aren’t bouncing off the ceiling, she immediately begins teasing me even more aggressively. I suppose that feeds the flames of her sadistic side. But I’m not complaining. Lucie’s style keeps me engaged to the max and certainly holds my interest.

Regarding a goal, I don’t have one actually, since how long I am caged and denied is not up to me. That is totally up to Lucie. My preference is longer periods locked than shorter, but I readily accept whatever decision Lucie makes. As I’ve shared before, my arrangement with my first keyholder ended because she overestimated my readiness for permanent chastity and I truly wasn’t ready when we she attempted to make the move to permanent. But I feel certain I am ready now. Part of that is because I have more experience and my body has now adjusted to longer periods of denial. But my willingness to accept Lucie imposing permanent chastity on me also has much to do with how much I trust her judgement and how eager I am to please her in every way.

Honestly, I don’t feel ready to give up orgasms completely and forever. I hope that isn’t the path Lucie chooses for me. And I am perfectly fine if she chooses to allow me only ruined orgasms without unlocking me. But I don’t think a guy ever completely gets past wanting to come. Not even when he accepts it won’t ever go back to normal where he could come whenever he wished. Still, that too is up to Lucie. If she wishes to allow me orgasms, then I will get them. And if she doesn’t, then I won’t. It’s as simple as that and I accept it because I much desire Lucie’s control and authority over having orgasms.

Lucie will have kept me locked and denied for 117 days by the time Locktober ends. Will that be my new personal record? It’s hard to say, because you never know with Lucie. She hasn’t yet mentioned NO-vember, but she could at anytime. Who knows? I may arrive at 117 days only to learn I’ll be spending another thirty days locked during a dry, confined November.

Does it raise your spirits that we have now entered double-digit days for Locktober? For me, the first ten days have flown by. I feel almost ashamed at actually having to admit this has been the easiest Locktober for me ever. Partly because Lucie has made it so much fun, but also because she had already kept me locked and denied for weeks before Locktober started. Even after four years of practicing chastity, had Lucie allowed me to come a day or two before Locktober, I would have found it just as difficult the first 3-7 days as any other guy. So, Lucie actually did me a kindness by not allowing me a release. But let’s keep that between us. No use spoiling things for Lucie.

Please return tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 11. Chastity, as a lifestyle choice, is the topic, and I will share my thoughts on this prompt:

What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your lifestyle?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chastity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 7: Your Toy Box

Day 8: Look!

Day 9: Listen

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Going Into Locktober Locked and Denied, Just Like Every Other Day

By on Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I learned from Lucie this morning that I would go straight into Locktober locked and denied, without a release. Just like every other day. And I actually felt better about it than I had expected.

 

During our chat this morning, Lucie asked me this question.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how desperate are you to have an orgasm before starting Locktober?”

Weirdly, although I’ve felt pretty desperate for about the past week, I found I had to think about it for a moment before answering. I discovered I was feeling a little like Natalie Imbruglia again.

“I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things
That I can’t touch. I’m torn.”

— “Torn,” song by Natalie Imbruglia

After 83 days caged and 149 days orgasm-free, I realized what a contented place I was in. Finally, I told Lucie I would rate my desperation level at about 6.

She said, “But you’ve been saying for days your arousal and frustration are at peak levels?”

I told her that was still true. But when I thought about how pleasurable the state of constant arousal feels and how intensely submissive it makes me feel, I just wasn’t sure I felt all that desperate to trade it all for a few seconds of pleasure. After all, we had spent weeks and weeks getting me to this point and, for just a few fleeting moments of pleasure, I would have to start all over again.

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “Those are precious feelings.” She smiled and continued. “Indeed, it would be a shame to jerk it all away from you.”

Then she decided. I would go straight into Locktober without a release. I felt strangely at peace with her decision.

Men, including me, think of sexual pleasure in terms of their orgasms. Understandable since orgasms feel good. But the more time I spend locked in chastity, especially since meeting Lucie, experiencing those short moments of jouissance, those brief spasms of ecstasy, just don’t seem so important anymore. I’ve begun to wonder if Lucie hasn’t led me to discover an entirely new perspective on sexual pleasure? Perhaps she has permeated every aspect of my sexuality to where physical pleasure for me now looks like pleasure for Lucie.

Of course, Lucie would have decided alone about whether I got an orgasm before Locktober. I would not have had any real input in the decision. And yet I feel certain Lucie would have given my feelings some consideration or she wouldn’t have asked me the desperation question. If I had said my desperation level was a 10, that doesn’t mean she would have allowed me an orgasm. But I got the impression I had pleased her with my answer and explanation and that felt like an achievement.

Once she told me I wouldn’t get an orgasm before Locktober, I said, only half-jokingly, “Maybe you should just cum for both of us from now on, Mistress.”

Lucie smiled again and said, “I already do.”

 

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permanent chastity

The Question Every Guy Who Wants Permanent Chastity Should Ask Himself

By on Thursday, August 17, 2023

There is one question every guy who wants permanent chastity should ask himself, yet I suspect few do…

Why?

Why do I want this?

Sure, not every kinky act needs to be examined deeply. Take a foot fetish for example. Many sources I’m familiar with say among men especially, feet and objects associated with feet, are the most common sexual fetishes. The word “foot” was the most popular fetish term on Pornhub in 2022, and having a foot fetish doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with power exchanges or dominance and submission. A guy can love playing with a woman’s feet and find it sexually arousing without being submissive. This type of fetish doesn’t require deep introspection.

But like many other kink activities, I submit that the desire to wear a chastity device permanently and have someone enforce your chastity by holding the key is a kink or fetish that you should understand why you desire to experience it.

For one thing, knowing why you want to wear a chastity device helps you determine whether you truly want permanent chastity or whether relatively short periods of chastity from time to time might fit you better.

I think for many guys, permanent chastity is only an arousing fantasy, because I’ve heard and read so many stories from guys who, after a partner or other keyholder imposed it on them, they discovered they didn’t really want it at all. What was so hot and arousing to think about turned out to be far less enjoyable when the fantasy became reality. That’s why we so often hear in chastity circles, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Another reason every guy who wants to wear a chastity device permanently should examine and understand his motives is because the real motivation behind it could actually be something that could cause harm. This is especially true of one activity that many think (mistakenly I believe) relates directly to chastity, cuckolding.

I don’t see cuckolding relating directly to chastity in the sense it is not the logical next step for everyone in some chastity progression. I’m not shaming someone else’s kink, but cuckolding isn’t for me. No matter how long I practice chastity by wearing a chastity cage, I will never ask a woman to cuckold me. Nor would I seek a relationship with a woman who wanted that. It’s just not my thing. And I believe cuckolding, even for someone who asks for it, can be harmful.

On chastity forums, we usually find only those couples where cuckolding has worked out well. Both partners are happy with it. And it works for some. But I’ve also read many stories where cuckolding destroyed relationships when the bull or other third party lover simply replaced the cuckolded partner.

Also, I’ve read stories from so many men who say because they have a small penis, have ED, or something else where they can’t satisfy their partner sexually, they deserve to be locked in a chastity cage permanently and their partner deserves to get sexually satisfied by a more sexually capable man. That sounds awfully altruistic of them. But I often wonder if low self-esteem isn’t a part of the dynamic for these men. Maybe they crave humiliation because they believe they deserve to be humiliated. That’s not necessarily healthy.

And when I hear how they get off sexually from watching another man have sex with their partner or at least having her give them a blow by blow account of it later, I suspect maybe they care more about getting their fantasies enacted than they truly care about their partner. Maybe they aren’t so altruistic after all.

Seriously examining why we are doing something isn’t something most of us enjoy or even want to do. But asking why we want permanent chastity and understanding the underlying reasons is something I think is important. Here is another common scenario.

A guy decides he wants his partner to keep him in chastity permanently. He works up the nerve to discuss it with her. At first, she is reluctant and doesn’t find it interesting at all. But he persuades her to try, and she agrees.

Suddenly, she discovers she actually enjoys keeping him locked. What started as a few days or a week, becomes several weeks, a month, and then several months. She realizes whenever she unlocks him and allows him sexual relief, for days afterward, his behavior isn’t nearly as pleasant and compliant as when she has kept him locked and denied for weeks on end. Soon, she grows reluctant to unlock him at all. And by then, he has learned that chastity and denial are hard, and the long stretches are not the wonderfully pleasurable experiences he had imagined. He doesn’t want to do it anymore.

This is a situation that can cause friction in a relationship. Maybe she feels he is now taking from her something positive that she has learned she wants. At the very least, he will find it much harder to convince her to ever try something new in the future.

Sometimes, no matter how certain you are that you want something like permanent chastity, you need to ask yourself hard questions and answer them honestly. This can save you, and sometimes your partner, much grief down the road.

Lucie has kept me locked for 42 days, the longest period yet since we’ve been together. And it seems there is no end in sight. In the next post, the tales of my adventures with Lucie returns. Tune in next time if you’re interested in learning how things are going on the Lucie front, and where it seems things are headed.

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Is Permanent Chastity the Ultimate Goal?

By on Monday, June 12, 2023

Is it the purpose of wearing a chastity device for everyone to achieve permanent chastity by wearing it 24/7, twelve months a year? Let’s talk about it..

Some people think the legitimate practice of chastity involves progressively longer periods of being locked, leading to permanent chastity (except for brief unlocked periods for cleaning).

I’ve held this perspective on chastity from the start, particularly after finishing my initial 30-day locked period. The longer I wore the device, the more I desired to stay locked. My recent partnership with Lucie, my remote keyholder, has brought about a change for me.

Not only does Lucie decide when I wear a device, but also when I don’t. She thinks it’s important for good health and other reasons to take regular breaks from wearing a chastity device. For example, Lucie is of the opinion that my obedience to her when I’m unlocked is a better way to gauge my submission to her than when I’m wearing a device. Also, during my unlocked periods, Lucie can subject me to some teasing she can’t when I’m locked. I’ve learned that she particularly enjoys making me edge in the usual way, which I find extremely arousing but also devastatingly frustrating. The suffering is, of course, the point. She is a sadist, after all.

Previously, I preferred wearing a chastity device as much as possible, but now I’ve had to change my perspective. I have to admit that Lucie has taught me a thing or two about chastity that I never experienced before. One thing I’ve learned is to value the submissive aspect of chastity more than ever.

Although I prefer permanent chastity, I don’t think it must be the aim for all users of chastity devices. This is not only unrealistic but also undesirable. Everyone has their own reason for embracing chastity. Wearing a chastity device for extended periods can have benefits, but permanent chastity is not superior to short-term chastity. Wearing a device for a few days or hours is a valid form of chastity and the experience of denial.

If you want to practice permanent chastity, that’s great. Go for it. But if you only want to do chastity occasionally, and only for short periods of time, you’re not doing it wrong. Chastity is not a competition, and the only opinions that matter are yours and those of your keyholder if you have one. Chastity is only about what works for you in satisfying what you want to get from it.

Even though I’m again taking a Lucie mandated break from my cage, I’m still practicing chastity and remain denied. That’s because Lucie graciously agreed to allow me to keep my commitment to the Chastity 90 challenge. For another forty-eight days, at least, I won’t experience orgasm or ejaculation. But afterward, that too will be up to Lucie.

I’m finding this unlocked period less unsettling than the last. It hasn’t surprised me that being unlocked hasn’t created the temptation to cheat. I respect Lucie too much to cheat, and I don’t want to disappoint her. Also, by giving in to temptation and allowing myself sexual release, I would cheat myself as much as Lucie. While she hasn’t told me how long that I’ll stay unlocked this time, I expect it will be for fewer days than the last time since I was locked fewer days. But of course, that’s up to Lucie and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The post image is more of my AI art experimentation, which I’m finding hugely entertaining. Hope you like it.

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Life in Permanent Chastity Takes an Unexpected Turn

By on Sunday, May 21, 2023

Since my decision to enter permanent 24/7 chastity, I have worn a chastity device for longer and longer periods, removing the device only for the few minutes of time required for the occasional deep cleaning. But by the decree of Lucie (my current keyholder), my life in permanent chastity takes an unexpected turn.

During the two weeks we’ve been together, Lucie has quizzed me almost daily about how chastity makes me feel, especially after I’ve completed one of her teasing tasks. Today she informed me she is making a change because she feels the cage causes me to focus too much on my penis, which is the opposite of what she believes is the purpose of caging a man’s penis.

Misplaced Devotion

A part of the problem in Lucie’s view is that I have become overly dependent on chastity devices to overcome my weaknesses in controlling my libido. And she wants to transfer my devotion to chastity devices to her, where my full devotion belongs.

As Lucie explained, she knows me well enough now to feel confident that I would never cheat while locked because I’m so devoted to the device. And that makes her curious to see how I might behave when I must depend on my devotion to her to resist my urges for sexual stimulation and release. She feels that following her instructions, without the aid of a chastity device, to not to touch for sexual pleasure, masturbate, or have orgasms without her consent is a far better test of obedience and devotion.

The New Decree

Lucie told me early on that she prefers locked periods of between 14-21 days (except for special occasions like Locktober or to correct bad behavior) followed by spending 4 days (for 14-days locked) or 6 days (for 21-days locked) unlocked. That’s because she believes it is more sensible and healthy to allow the unrestrained penis to experience regularly the natural stretching that occurs during nocturnal erections.

Also, in her view, while she is technically acting as my keyholder, we are actually doing chastity on my terms, not on her terms, and there is not much of a power exchange taking place. Lucie admitted if we remain on our present course, she will soon grow bored and unwilling to continue. She insists on full control. She wants to make all decisions about when I’m locked, when I’m unlocked, and if or when I get to have orgasms, especially when she wants ruined orgasms. And that’s fair. Lucie also loves impact CBT and believes that isn’t a good mix with chastity devices because of the risk of injury. So, she wants me unlocked sometimes so we can do the things she likes most. Like torturing my balls.

I Agree

What Lucie shared shocked me a little at first, but the more we talked about it, the more I found I agreed with her. She has given me the exact experience I asked for so I can see her point that we’ve been doing chastity on my terms. I realize how reluctant I am to spend much time unlocked because I prefer wearing a chastity device. I even feel a little uneasy when I’m not caged. But I don’t want to lose Lucie to boredom and go back to self-locking or searching for a new keyholder. Our first two weeks have been the best chastity experience I’ve ever had, and I’m not ready to give it up.

So, the changes take effect tomorrow. Lucie will tell me to unlock and I’ll spend six days unlocked. After the six days, she will tell me to put a chastity device back on and I will spend my first period of 7-21 days locked, according to Lucie’s whim, and then spend time unlocked again. She told me not to count on a strict schedule as sometimes it could be fewer than 7 days or over 21 days. It will all depend on her mood and what she has planned for me. That means we aren’t only keeping the piece I find most important, “indefinite chastity,” but Lucie is intensifying that aspect. Now I will literally never know how long I’ll remain locked or get released.

My Chastity 90 Commitment

One thing won’t change for now – orgasms. Since I had already told Lucie about my commitment to Chastity 90 before our arrangement, she agreed graciously to allow me to continue my attempt to keep the commitment. I just won’t be allowed to wear a chastity device for the full 90 days. And once Chastity 90 ends at the end of July, she alone will decide when, if, and how I experience orgasms thereafter. I won’t just be able to choose to abstain.

It’s an Unexpected Turn but I’m Excited

I wasn’t sure how I felt about Lucie’s decree at first. But after a little time to process it all, I find the impending changes exciting. And I want to please her. Everything she explained was correct, and I knew it. I think I have become a little too dependent on chastity devices to do the heavy lifting for me.

While it is a tiny bit scary to contemplate doing so in practice, obeying Lucie without depending on a device for backup is a far better test of my obedience and devotion to her. Another plus to spending more time unlocked is it opens up a lot of other options for Lucie’s torturous teasing efforts and not only the CBT she loves (me, not so much). As an example, she could require me to perform actual edges, and she mentioned that. Up to now, I’ve only done edges with a vibrator against the cage. And doing actual edges is something I know drives me insane with desire.

Because of the changes, I will soon update “My Current Status” page. I’ll still publish the number of days locked, though the locked periods won’t be nearly as impressive. Also, I think I’ll add a second counter for days since the last orgasm.

The adventurous sort, I am always open to trying new things, which in part probably explains why I got started with chastity to begin with. So, while the way I’ve done permanent chastity in the past will change, I’m also excited to see where it takes my relationship with Lucie. Already I’ve felt increasingly devoted to her and eager to please. Now I wonder if these changes might make me feel more submissive (not my primary nature) to her and feel of the power change dynamic more intensely? I suppose I’ll find out soon and I’ll post an update when it seems warranted.

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male chastity

Another Ninety-Day Stretch Wearing a Male Chastity Device

By on Sunday, February 28, 2021

Is It Time to For the Road Less Traveled?

wearing-a-male-chastity-device-for-90-days

If you keep up with my current status on this site, you may have noticed that I’m less than a day away from completing another ninety-day stretch wearing a male chastity device. So far in my chastity journey, ninety-days is my personal best. This will be the third time I’m reached that mark. Now I’m debating where I want to go next. I’ve been locked for all of 2021 so far, but I’m not ready to unlock yet. It is only a matter of how much longer I want to commit to staying locked.

The Unmade Resolution

Before the first of the year, I thought about making a New Year’s chastity resolution. But when January 1 arrived, I was still undecided. Should I commit to six months? Or should I try wearing a cock cage for the entire year? Both seem worthy goals since I’ve yet to go beyond ninety consecutive days. Unable to decide, the resolution went unmade. So, I’m revisiting it now.

Usually, I do very well with self-enforced chastity and find that I’m less and less dependent on having a professional keyholder to motivate me. But it seems each time I hit the three-month mark, I start to think a little wistfully about how great it would be to have a permanent keyholder.

Knowing someone is enforcing your chasteness just feels so much more profound than doing it yourself. Under those circumstances, committing to six-months or even a year without a break would be much easier. But, I’m not ready to unlock after ninety-days this time. It’s only a matter of how much longer I’ll go.

Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood

My circumstances put me in mind of one of my favorite poems, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

“I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

I’ve traveled the ninety-days road three times and it seems it is now time to take things longer, the road less traveled by. So, I’ll carry on when day ninety-one arrives. But you don’t have to get too complicated with chastity unless that’s what you want. So, instead of choosing a future date three-months or nine-months from now, I believe I’ll just take it a month at a time. I’ll commit to another month and see how I’m feeling about things then. Even completing 120-days would be a new personal best.

The Ultimate Goal Permanent Chastity

Since the beginning, my ultimate goal has been permanent chastity. I’ve already reached the point in my chastity journey where I feel more comfortable wearing a device than when I’m not. For that reason I suppose I might be able to continue indefinitely. Achieving permanent chastity may now be realistically within my grasp. But I don’t know.

For now I’m committed to another thirty days and reaching the 120-day mark. Then we’ll see. Maybe at that point, I’ll have gone far enough along the road less traveled by that it will make all the difference.

Next up for review is the Holy Trainer Nub V4. I’ve already ordered it and will get it in plenty of time for a proper wear test before publishing the Q2 review April 5. As much as I’ve enjoyed the Holy Trainer Nano V4, I can’t wait to try the Nub. I’m a real fan of micro-chastity devices and am eager to see how the Nub stacks up with some of the metal micro devices I’ve tried.

Back to Amicus

As much as I like the new Jail Bird, I’ll be starting day 91 back in my Amicus. Of all the devices I’ve tried, it remains my favorite.

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male chastity time locked in chastity

Closing in on Six Months Locked in a Chastity Cage

By on Sunday, November 15, 2020

If you keep up with my current status, then you know I’m closing in on six months locked in a chastity cage. That’s 180 days, twice my previous record of 90 days, which I’ve achieved twice. That significant date is now only six days away. What to do?

six-months-locked-in-a-chastity cage

I’m Torn After Six Months Locked in a Chastity Cage

Less than a week away from six months locked in a chastity cage, as Natalie Imbruglia sang in her 1997 debut hit single, I’m torn. I still love that song, by the way.

A part of me would like to soldier on and see how far I can push my limits. But another part of me wants to unlock for a while.

I truly admire a guy like Thumper, who remains in perpetual chastity. For me, I think permanent chastity would be Nirvana, a place of perfect peace and happiness, the highest state a chaste man can attain, and a state of enlightenment where individual desires and suffering fade away. That’s my goal, but I’m not ready for it yet.

Unlike Thumper, I don’t have a permanent partner for a keyholder. At least as I understand all he has written on his excellent blog, that is the secret sauce that helps Thumper endure. It seems the guy has tons of motivation and willpower, sure, but still unlocking his penis is up to his wife, Belle, not up to him.

For much of the past six months, a keyholder has supervised me. But I’ve done stretches of self-locked, too, which is where I am now. That, I believe, makes committing to permanent chastity much harder.

Lessons Learned After Almost Six Months Locked in a Chastity Cage

I’m pretty sure the desire to wank and orgasm never completely goes away. I figure if you give a guy a choice, he will typically take it. But oddly, that isn’t what I miss the most after almost six months locked in a chastity cage. What I miss is much more simple and basic. I miss being able to touch my penis.

What is it with us guys and touching our penises? We do it all the time. At least unless we’re into chastity. We touch it and hold it often without even being conscious of it a lot of the time.

Before I started locking my penis in a cage, sometimes I’d be lying on the couch or sitting in my recliner watching television, and my hand would just find its way into my shorts. There was nothing necessarily sexual about it. I think it is more of a comfort thing than anything else. Maybe it’s because the male genitals are just sort of out there front and center that lends them to this behavior.

It’s hard to let go after six months, knowing you face starting all over again at ground zero. But, I’ve decided to unlock for a while. Maybe until the end of the year. Then on January 1, 2021, I plan to lock up again and push for a new record. Can I double my time in chastity once again? Can I remain locked for an entire year? That’s what I’m considering now. Maybe after one full year, I will be ready to commit to permanent. Guess we’ll find out.

How about you? What are your plans for chastity in 2021? In the next post, I’ll offer five chastity New Year’s resolution ideas along with tips on how to achieve each of them.

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Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do

By on Monday, June 1, 2020

It’s been a while since it happened, but Lady Jayne and I parted company. I’ve thought of posting about it before but didn’t feel ready. Even thinking about it made me feel sad. Breaking up with your keyholder is hard to do.

 

 

I beg of you, Goddess, don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our chastity contract another try?
Come on, Goddess, let’s start anew
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do.

 

Bluer Than Blue

But, I think I’m past it now. It seems a little weird that you can find yourself so attached to someone you really don’t even know. But it happens. At least, it did to me. I also felt that LJ and I had formed a friendship. She was definitely more to me than just a distant, online keyholder.

The problem was it became apparent we just weren’t on the same page. I hadn’t had any releases since our first month together. Well, that’s what chastity is about, some may say. Well, yes, it is. The thing is it became apparent to me from things LJ told me that her plan for me was permanent chastity. That’s something I aspire to someday, but I’m not ready for it yet.

Besides no orgasm opportunities, there were—no ruined orgasms, no instructions to do prostate milking, and few teasing assignments. I wasn’t even allowed any solo attempts at teasing without instructions. As a result, my arousal dipped lower and lower until it felt like it sort of flat-lined.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but that doesn’t work for me. Unless I can sustain heightened arousal, chastity just isn’t fun or meaningful. It starts to feel like a chore for which there is never any reward.

I hung on as long as I could, but one day, I knew it was time to throw in the towel. So, I asked to be released from our contract and fulfilled the cancellation obligation stipulated in the contract. We exchanged a couple more messages, and that was it.

It was clear she wasn’t happy about me quitting, even though I carried out all my responsibilities with the hope of ending things on a positive note. I suppose I understand that. Maybe she felt she had wasted her time on me. And, I think she may have taken my decision to quit as criticism of her as a keyholder, though it wasn’t like that all.

LJ, I believe, was the best keyholder I could have found for my first time in chastity. She was knowledgeable, experienced, and caring. In the beginning, I really thought we would be together for a very long time.

I don’t place any responsibility for my decision to quit on her. It was all me. I think I just needed more from her than she could give. LJ doesn’t make her living from keyholding. It’s only a side gig doing something she enjoys. And, she is very popular in online keyholding circles. She holds keys for a lot of guys. So, she simply doesn’t have enough hours in a day to give every guy as much personal attention as he might want or feel he needs.

Without regular teasing assignments and her prohibition against me doing anything on my own, I just couldn’t sustain the level of arousal to stay with the program. I became irritable all the time, and that just wasn’t fair to the people who must deal with me daily in the real world.

Though I was unhappy about quitting LJ, I never felt I was abandoning chastity. It is something I think benefits me. I took a few days to reset and re-calibrate, and then I started self-locking. That was okay for a while, but solo chastity is hard and not that much fun. It wasn’t long until I started searching for another keyholder, and found one. She locked me for the first time last week.

A New Keyholder

At the moment, we’re doing a two-week trial before discussing something more long-term. I must say, the difference so far for me has been like night and day. While I don’t have daily contact with my new keyholder as I did with LJ, she gave me teasing assignments at the start to do twice daily over the entire two-week period. That’s been the difference. The tasks keep my head bumping against the ceiling of heightened arousal, and I’m getting the steady drip of dopamine that most of us chaste guys crave. I couldn’t believe how quickly the first week has passed for me.

It’s not at all that I feel my current keyholder is better than LJ. She is just different and has a different way of going about things. It’s too early to say whether she will LJ’s permanent replacement, but I’ve been more than happy with the way things have gone so far. During my search for a new keyholder, I had found several potential keyholders who intrigued me. So, I still have options. But I’m leaning towards doing a full month with the woman holding my keys right now before I consider trying someone else. Only a little more time will tell if we’re a good long-term fit.

So, I’m back in the saddle for now, and I’m going to borrow an idea from pcguy, the blogger at Thrill Of The Chaste. He has a page on his site where you can see his current status—lock or unlocked. I love that idea, so I’m putting a similar page on my website. Just look for the tab in the menu, My Current Status, if you want to check mine.

LJ was great, and I’m sure I’ll continue missing her. I’ll miss the great chats we used to have and doing my best to please her. But life is about change. And usually, things happen the way they do because that’s the way they were supposed to happen.

Thanks for reading. I’ll keep you updated on the developments with my new keyholder.

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The road goes on forever in chastity

By on Monday, January 20, 2020

“The road goes on forever and the party never ends,” says the lyrics of a Robert Earl Keen song. I suppose that fairly describes my circumstances with regard to my chastity experience.

As mentioned at the end of a previous post, my 30-day introduction to chastity and training agreement with Lady Jayne ends in three days. At the outset last month, she told me if things went well, she might extend a permanent ownership offer. If we both agreed, our arrangement might be extended indefinitely. That ownership offer came during our regular catch up chat last evening.

When I first started all this and reached out to LJ when seeking a keyholder, I was attempting to satisfy my curiosity about male chastity. I was committed to completing the 30-day trial agreement we made, but wasn’t sure I wanted to be locked permanently. Yet as the days and weeks ticked by, I found a stronger, deeper attraction to both the lifestyle and LJ’s control.

Halfway through I knew I wanted us to continue. At times LJ would speak about things which sounded more like her long-term plans for me than something more immediate. And she has been generous in her praise of how I’ve behaved under her authority. So, for a while now I’ve been confident she would make an ownership offer. I’d been thinking a lot the last several days about whether that was something I truly wanted.

Somehow the topic came up in conversation last evening, and LJ told me she had made her decision so it was time for me to make mine. She laid out the terms and gave me an idea of how things would differ from how they have gone the past four weeks. She told me about some additional areas she would expect to assume control over, and about a few of the perks I could expect with the move to a more permanent status.

The new areas she wants authority over all relate to enhancing her control over my access to sexual pleasure and stimulation. As two examples, I won’t be allowed to watch porn without her permission or order/use any new sex toys without her approval. Nothing major or anything I had any objections to. Perks LJ mentioned included more time with her and more frequent, structured teasing. I’ve already been very pleased with the access she has given me, and I’m all in on more intense teasing. So, I was happy enough with the added terms.

There was only one surprise. LJ doesn’t want a break. She wants to roll right into ownership at the end of our 30-day agreement. I on the other hand was of a different mind. I had been thinking about taking a break until the end of the month and restarting the first of February. But, LJ wasn’t down with me taking a week off “for a wank fest.“ She told me I could have a few days to think it over, but if I wanted to continue she intended we carry on without a break.

I didn’t need a few days to think it over. I knew I wanted to continue with LJ as my keyholder. A long-distance arrangement is what works best for me at the moment, and I’d researched quite well what is available in that regard before reaching out to LJ. She was hands down the best option I’d found which Is why I contacted her first. So, it wasn’t a difficult decision.

I have no interest in seeking a new keyholder because things have been so amazing with LJ. If she wants to carry on without a release, I reckon it is a small sacrifice to make on my part to skip a break. I can deal with it. I accepted her offer. Thursday LJ becomes my Domme and owner for the foreseeable future.

Looks like I’m now in permanent chastity. The road goes on forever and the party never ends.

 

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