June 2022 - Cut to the Chaste

Fascinating Facts About the #PussyFree Lifestyle

By Chaste on Thursday, June 30, 2022

Have you heard about the #PussyFree lifestyle? I hadn’t until I recently came across it on Twitter, so of course I had to know more. Here are some fascinating facts about the lifestyle I discovered.

Maybe the #PussyFree lifestyle phenomenon doesn’t relate directly to the topic we cover in this blog, male chastity. Yet it isn’t too difficult to imagine how it could be related peripherally. I came across #PussyFree when I saw a Twitter post on my timeline from a guy I follow who practices and writes about male chastity. Apparently, he too had just come across it and was curious to learn what it was all about. I was too, so I delved into it.

The Origin of #PussyFree

As best I can tell, #PussyFree started on the Tumblr micro-blogging platform. That makes sense because at least before the “great purge” of adult content, Tumblr was arguably the cutting edge content site for all things sexual. In fact, Tumblr is where I got my first real exposure to male chastity.

What is #PussyFree?

It seems guys who make the #PussyFree pledge, not only do not engage in PIV sex, they don’t allow themselves to touch or even look at vaginas, out of feelings of unworthiness. Most of the stuff I’ve read about this relatively new lifestyle mentions guys who embrace #PussyFree consider themselves “losers” who don’t deserve to slide into a vagina, touch them, or look at them mostly because they have small penises that could never satisfy a woman. One of three primary things might dictate the #PussyFree designation for these guys.

A Femdomme a submissive guy submits to may designate him as #PussyFree, because she deems him unworthy of PIV sex because his penis is too small to satisfy a woman, or because she embraces female supremacy and considers all men unworthy of PIV sex. Often she locks him in a chastity cage and may even forbid him to even look at her vagina (and sometimes bare breasts) or any, like through viewing porn.

For some guys, life itself simply dictates they earn the #PussyFree designation. As an example, guys women always categorize as Friend-zone material and never seriously consider as sexual partners. This could be because a guy possesses a micro penis or because of some other shortcoming that makes him unappealing as a sexual partner in the eyes of women. As much as these guys might covet PIV sex, it simply will never happen for them. Pussy free becomes their lot in life by default.

Finally, some guys, especially those who identify as a “sissy,” self-designate as #PussyFree because they accept they are not only unworthy of PIV sex because they are undeserving of penetrating a woman, but feel they are only sexually suitable for penetration themselves by “real men.” These real men they define as authentic masculine men with large penises who can satisfy women.

Being Pussy Free Does Permit Masturbation

Guys who take the #PussyFree pledge can masturbate, but masturbation for them is only another form of humiliation, a constant reminder they are unworthy of PIV sex with a woman. Also, many of these guys masturbate only to censored or pixelated images of attractive naked women since they feel undeserving to even look upon images of vaginas and bare breasts.

An Assortment of Kinks

There is much to unpack regarding all the kinks the #PussyFree lifestyle adherents embrace. Humiliation is a significant part of it, especially small penis humiliation (SPH). There is the feminized male, or sissy, aspect. Also, cuckolding seems part of the lifestyle as does the BBC fetish, since many pussy free guys say that only black men with large penises can truly satisfy a woman and are worthy of PIV sex.

In a nutshell, it seems the guys attracted to this lifestyle use it to eroticize either their real feelings of unworthiness to have penetrative sex with a woman or because they have internalized from experiences with women in the past that women do not find them sexually attractive and they will rarely get the chance to experience PIV sex, anyway.

#PussyFree and Male Chastity

Candidly, one of the key tenants of this lifestyle, the feeling of unworthiness, makes #PussyFree unappealing for me. Also, humiliation isn’t one of my kinks. I’ve never felt unworthy of having PIV sex with a woman. While I do like the idea of female led relationships, I don’t subscribe to female supremacy.

Women are fabulous and intriguing, but they are not inherently superior to men because no human being is superior to any other human being for any reason. Yes, there are people who feel superior to others because they are physically attractive, have more money, hold “important” positions in society, and many other reasons. They are not and fool only themselves. And, no brag, just fact, I’ve never had a problem satisfying women I’ve had penetrative sex with. There have been more than a few, but if I shared a number, that would be bragging. Let’s just say it’s been a representative sample. Still, I am at a time in my life where the general concept of pussy free has some appeal.

I feel I’ve reached a point where I need to give up on intimate relationships and PIV sex completely and start enjoying all the other things I can experience and enjoy without worrying about my penis getting in the way. One of the best ways I’ve found to do that is by wearing a male chastity cage regularly. The device allows me to go about my day without thinking about my penis or sex all the time, allowing me to focus on other people in my life and other more significant matters. I feel this is very important if I want to discover what life is truly all about. Having worn a male chastity device for a few years now, I can say that my life is richer now and more attuned to my environment than ever. So, adopting a pussy free lifestyle on that basis seems a natural extension.

Many guys who practice chastity are into humiliation, including SPH, feminization, and cuckolding, so pussy free may not be much of a stretch for them either. While I can’t say I see #PussyFree as a natural part of male chastity, I recognize there is some overlap. The two are separate lifestyles or kinks, as you prefer. But I think they could coexist for some guys who embrace chastity.

male chastity

The Coolidge Effect and Male Chastity

By Chaste on Friday, June 24, 2022

Ever wondered why practicing male chastity can improve a relationship with an existing intimate partner? There is science behind it, a biological phenomenon called the Coolidge Effect.

I’ve never made it a secret that the science behind the physiological and psychological is something I find massively interesting. That’s because I enjoy learning why spending time locked in a chastity device influences my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors the way it does. So, today, I want to visit an intriguing biological phenomenon, the Coolidge effect, that goes far in explaining why chaste males often develop renewed and deeper physical and emotional attraction to their intimate partners.

Researchers see the Coolidge effect in scientific studies of animals. While to date, no one has done any actual research on the phenomenon using human test subjects, scientists have observed the effect in most mammals studied. So, they believe human males also have this ancient component in their repertoire of evolutionary driven human mating strategies and it plays an important role in human sexuality. One reason is because dopamine plays such a significant role in the phenomenon.

What the Coolidge Effect is and How it Works

The Coolidge effect produces an increase in sexual responsiveness and a shortening of the sexual refractory period at the opportunity to have sex with a novel female. That’s because males exhibit renewed sexual interest whenever a new female becomes available because males have a built in preference for variety in sexual partners. There is an evolutionary benefit to this effect. Access to multiple females means a male might fertilize multiple females. No matter how much we’ve elevated the pleasure aspects of sex, from the perspective of evolution, efficient procreation was always the only point.

Certainly, not all or even most men in committed relationships engage in polygyny, a pattern of mating in which a male animal has more than one female mate that we see in other mammals, despite convincing proof human males probably have a definite preference for it. But the powerful attraction many men have for frequent masturbation while viewing porn might explain that.

Porn allows men to experience sexual stimulation and ejaculation virtually with a wide variety of sexually attractive females. And the endless supply of new virtual sexual partners can cause men to feel less and less attraction for their real life partners.

How Male Chastity Influences the Coolidge Effect

Male chastity short circuits the Coolidge effect. Once locked in a chastity device, a man no longer has access to either physical or virtual novel females for sexual activity. He can neither engage in an affair with another female outside his relationship or masturbate to female images through porn consumption. So, his intimate partner becomes the only outlet for the naturally increasing sexual arousal that his denial produces. Understanding the Coolidge Effect makes it pretty simple to understand why chaste men develop renewed and deeper attraction to their current partners, especially when those partners hold the keys to their men’s chastity devices.

male chastity sexuality

My Male Chastity Cycle Theory

By Chaste on Sunday, June 19, 2022

The physiological, psychological, and emotional effects of spending time locked in a chastity device has always intrigued me. Recently, I came up with a male chastity cycle theory based on my own experiences.

Many of the guys curious about trying lockable device chastity for the first time who reach out to me, ask the same questions. While I never mind answering the questions, for a while now I’ve thought about writing a guide that covers the basics for those who don’t feel they know enough about chastity and chastity devices to get started. That idea morphed into writing a book offering a seven-day chastity challenge for beginners. I wanted to come up with a way to explain what beginners should expect along the way from putting on a chastity device for the first time to adjusting to wearing a device for 24 hours by the end of the seven days. And that sparked an idea.

I’ve always thought a “chastity cycle” existed because, from experience, I’ve noticed that I progress through identifiable and distinguishable phases or stages of physiological, emotional, and psychological responses to the lack of sexual stimulation and orgasm denial. What I ended up with for the book was a theory of what those different phases or stages were and what characterized each of them.

Some stages I identified from my experiences fit with the four stages of the Human Sexual Response Cycle (pictured above), published in 1966 by researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson. But not all, for the obvious reason. With a chastity device locked on, there is a pause, often a lengthy one, at plateau (Stage 2) before a chaste man gets to the orgasm and resolution stages. So, here is what I came up with after much thought.

A Male Chastity Cycle

Here is my explanation of these six stages.

Stage 1: Neutral

What I mean by neutral is the state of a man who has recently experienced sexual satisfaction (orgasm and ejaculation) and is in the resolution phase of the sexual response cycle formulated by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, in their 1966 book Human Sexual Response. In this stage, he probably feels and will feel for some period a loss of sexual desire. He feels “neutral” about engaging in sex or masturbating again until his sexual energy recharges.

Here, I’m not talking about the refractory period, the relatively short time after ejaculation when it’s physically impossible for a man to get an erection and ejaculate again, but a period that varies from one to several days. The length of this period I believe is mostly a function of an individual’s age, libido, and the frequency of ejaculation they have become accustomed to. This neutral stage of the cycle means the first day or even the first several days of chastity often seem rather anti-climatic for most men as far as sexual arousal is concerned since they recently had sexual satisfaction.

Stage 2: Desire

The desire phase kicks off when sexual arousal returns, usually within the third to fourth day for me. Different stimuli triggers arousal and renewed sexual desire. Once arousal starts, it typically continues to build for me. The simple act of wearing a lockable chastity device can produce arousal for me since it makes me more aware of my genitals than I might otherwise be and that leads to sexual thoughts and feelings.

The brain releases a cocktail of chemicals produced by the body, including dopamine, that produce sexual arousal and desire. Those chemicals, also known as “feel-good” hormones, make sexual arousal and desire feel pleasurable. So, even though I may feel increasingly “horny” during the desire phase, I get through at least the first four days of sexual abstinence with little difficulty or discomfort.

Stage 3: Frustration

Around the fifth day in chastity, I begin experiencing some degree of sexual frustration. When I first started chastity and had been accustomed to having orgasms several times a week, I experienced the frustration sooner and feel it more acutely than now since I’ve become accustomed to having far fewer orgasms. So, now this phase isn’t as hard for me to navigate, but I’m always definitely aware of it. I suspect this is the stage where guys who self-lock feel most sorely tempted to remove their device and seek sexual release. But I’ve become accustomed to it, so that’s not been an issue for me in a long while. I just know the frustration will eventually pass.

Stage 4: Blissful

By the end of the fifth or beginning of the sixth day, I move beyond sexual frustration and enter the blissful phase. That’s the sweet spot of the chastity cycle. When a man feels aroused but does not orgasm and ejaculate immediately, the brain discovers that orgasm is not imminent and continues releasing the “feel good” hormones to encourage it and the levels, especially dopamine levels, rise further and further above the normal baselines.

These naturally occurring chemicals transform sexual arousal into pleasure itself and you enter a “blissful” state. You no longer feel so desperate for sexual release, and you may feel more emotional than usual. If you have an intimate partner, you may feel emotionally closer and more affectionate toward them. That happened to me with my first key holder even though we weren’t in an intimate relationship, so I know how it feels. My first visit to this phase was when I learned firsthand why so many men find wearing a lockable chastity device and abstinence so enjoyable.

Stage 5: Restless

In the restless stage, sexual frustration can return with a vengeance at times. During this phase I’ve felt irritable, sad, and sometimes even slightly depressed. The length of time between blissful and restless varies from one person to another and I believe with how much experience you have with chastity and some other factors. With experience, even if you self-lock, you develop strategies that can extend the blissful stage, particularly sexual stimulation, that stops short of orgasm. This is the very thing that sexual teasing from a key holder does. And the stimulation needn’t focus on the genitals but may involve other erogenous zones like the testicles, perineum, or anus as examples.

At my experience level, the blissful stage typically lasts for around thirty days, and sometimes longer. But I suspect for some guys it may only last for two to three weeks. Even with teasing, about three weeks was usual for me during my first year practicing chastity.

Stage 6: Satisfaction

Satisfaction, the last phase in the chastity cycle, occurs when you remove the chastity device and receive sexual stimulation that ends with an ejaculatory orgasm. It’s the same as the resolution phase of the Human Sexual Response Cycle. You experience release from the pent up arousal and denial, and enter the post-orgasm resolution phase of the sexual response cycle.

While this male chastity cycle is mostly based on my anecdotal experiences, I read extensively about the experiences that other chaste men share on chastity related blogs, forums, and social media. And I’ve found a lot of commonality with what I’ve experienced. That leads me to believe my theory about how men respond to periods of chastity seems accurate. And that isn’t surprising given what I’ve learned about the science of male sexuality.

The Driver's of the Male Chastity Cycle

Male chastity and how men respond to it is a response to the effects of orgasm denial. But denial is only the mode of chastity. The actual mechanism that drives our response is the science of male chastity, particularly the cocktail of natural chemicals the body produces and the brain releases.

There is a whole slew of these naturally occurring chemicals. But those of primary interest are dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and prolactin, hormones that act as neurotransmitters, chemical messengers that help in the transmission of signals in the brain and other vital areas.

The different stages of the male chastity cycle I’ve imagined are all products of the levels of these different chemicals. Dopamine levels, for example, increase with sexual arousal. Dopamine plays a major role in how we feel pleasure. The brain releases dopamine when it is expecting a “reward.”

When you come to associate a certain activity with pleasure, mere anticipation may be enough to raise dopamine levels. It’s responsible for a cycle of motivation (seeking pleasure), reward (Feeling pleasure), and reinforcement (the desire for more of an activity that produces pleasure).

I find the science of male sexuality incredibly fascinating and knowing a little about hormone levels that affect sexual functioning and what causes those levels to increase and decrease helps you understand why you feel the things you do at different stages of the male chastity cycle.

What do you think about this theory of a male chastity cycle? Does it track with your experiences? Do you notice different, identifiable stages or phases when you wear a chastity device for a period of time?

Are You Curious About Male Chastity and Thinking About Trying It?

This is the book I recently wrote for guys new to chastity and those who haven’t managed to wear a lockable chastity device for at least seven days. It’s presented in the form of a 7 day challenge, a fun and non-threatening way for beginners to dip a toe into chastity and learn how it suits them. It’s available now on Amazon as an e-Book and paperback.

male chasity devices

The Steelworxx Thunder Chasity Device Has Landed

By Chaste on Monday, June 6, 2022

My Steelworxx Thunder Chastity Device Has Landed.

The Steelworxx Thunder chastity device I ordered arrived today. I sweet talked my Keyholder into allowing me to kick the tires and take it for a spin. It will be a while before I can give it a proper wear test, but I wanted to share my initial impressions.

Initial Impressions of the Steelworxx Thunder

Smooth is the first word that came to mind when I slipped on the Steelworxx Thunder chastity device for the first time. It really is as shiny as I’d heard and the Thunder is a testament to the quality Steelworxx puts into their products.

Something that surprised me is how light weight the device is given it has a completely closed tube. I didn’t take the time to dig out my scale, by it feels lighter than many of the open cage-type devices I own. The interior of the tube felt as smooth as satin when I slipped it on. While I believe I nailed the inside diameter I ordered, I was able to fully insert my peen without needing to resort to the old stocking method.

The base ring is a bit beefier than those of the other devices I wear most often, but if anything that only makes it more comfortable. The device felt comfortable the moment I put it on. Could the Thunder be the most comfortable device I’ve ever worn? I think it’s possible. Unlike the similar designed Steelheart, the Thunder has a flat rather than rounded nose. I like the look and the generously sized urine outlet.

I couldn’t be happier with the fit, quality, and comfort of the Thunder. Can’t wait until I can properly wear test it, but I have a feeling this may become one of my favorite chastity devices. For some reason, it makes me more aware of the contents then wearing any of my usual open-style cages. And it’s a bit of an adjustment looking down to see a piece of shiny stainless steel between your legs with no sign of a penis.

I’ll be sharing a full review at my earliest opportunity.

keyholding service reviews

Review: Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholder Service

By Chaste on Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Review of the Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholder Service, a monitored chastity keyholding system for fee, managed by Mistress Elena.

I’ve finished my one-month subscription with the Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholder Service and am ready to offer my honest review.

A while ago I was looking for a key safe and found my way to the Oxy-Shop website. Browsing the site, I not only found the key safe I was seeking but also discovered Oxy-Shop offered a for fee monthly keyholding service. What intrigued me was that the service is managed by an actual Pro Domme and the monthly fee started at only $35 per month.

Oxy-Shop also offers 3-month and 6-month keyholding subscriptions for $95 and $200 respectively that reduce the monthly cost even more. Having paid far more for professional monthly keyholding services, I decided to try the service even though my expectations for a personalized experience were quite low given the low monthly fee. Here’s what I discovered.

What You Need to Use the Service

A lockable chastity device suitable for long-term use
The Oxy-Shop keyholder service set (Included free with your first month of paid service)

A metal key safe and a generous supply of plastic number locks to use with the safe comprise the keyholder service set. The set alone is a $25 value, so essentially, you’re paying only $10 for the first month of keyholding when you buy a one-month subscription.

How the Oxy-Shop Keyholder Service Works

Once you receive your key safe and plastic numbered locks by mail, you email Oxy-Shop at tasks@oxy-shop.com once you are ready to start. You will then receive a welcome letter from Mistress Elena with her initial instructions. In my case, I received the welcome letter the day after I emailed to say I was ready to start.

Once you begin, each day you email a proof of lock photo and every other day a proof of lock video to Mistress Elena. Something I didn’t know and that wasn’t explained in the welcome letter is that you should send the daily emails as replies to the welcome letter. The first few days I sent original emails each time with the images and videos attached, so Mistress Elena had to email me a second time with instructions to use replies not original emails each day because that makes it more difficult for her to keep track. That’s understandable as I’m sure she is managing many locked men simultaneously. Once we ironed that out, I submitted the required photos and videos each day without further problems.

In addition to managing your chastity, Mistress Elena also sends task assignments periodically. My understanding was there would be only one task for the month, so I didn’t expect that to amount to much. But Mistress Elena provided a new task assignment each week, all of which I found quite enjoyable to do for her and that added interest to the experience and made it even more pleasant. Out of respect for Mistress Elena’s work product, I won’t share what the tasks entailed. But I will say each was a fun activity that didn’t require much time to complete and I generally had on hand whatever I needed to complete them. So, there was no real added expense involved.

From the moment she tells you to lock up, Mistress Elena is in control. She decides when and if you may unlock and whether you get any sexual pleasure or release. In my case, I remained locked for the first eight days of the month. Then Mistress Elena instructed me to unlock for a break, but warned me not to touch or play with her property while unlocked.

It surprised me that she left me unlocked for five days before telling me to lock up again. And that would have made the five days more like honor chastity than lockable device chastity had I followed those instructions. But I only used the opportunity to unlock to do a deep cleaning and locked my device back on after less than a half hour of freedom on the first day. Since I’m approaching two years of remaining locked continuously, I wasn’t willing to end the streak for the purposes of reviewing a keyholder service, so I admit I didn’t follow the instructions to remain unlocked for the five-day period.

Once Mistress Elena had locked me back up (officially), I remained locked for the duration of the month. During the month, Mistress Elena did not allow me any sexual release which was fine by me actually. So, if you decide to try this service, don’t automatically assume you will get permission for sex or masturbation during the month even though the information presented on the website mentions it as a possibility. Also, I expect Mistress Elena decides on a case-by-case basis how much time she will allow a person to remain locked and unlocked. So, your experience would likely differ from mine.

All communication with Mistress Elena is by email, so don’t expect anything more than that. In the past I have sometimes had phone, text, or Skype contact with professionals who have managed my chastity, but I found communicating only by email perfectly acceptable.

Mistress Elena notifies you two days before the month of service ends, I assume so that you have the chance to extend the service for another month or months if you choose.

What I Didn’t Like About the Service

There were several things I expected not to like about the service, but in the end, there is only one thing I can criticize. You don’t receive daily feedback on the proof photos and videos and after several days it feels as if you’re only submitting them to a black hole and no one even looks at them. But given the low monthly fee charged, that’s understandable. Even if Mistress Elena is only keyholding for twenty locked men at a time, sending daily emails would require a lot of her time. And for all I know, she may be keyholding for far more than only twenty men at a time. So, in the absence of feedback, all you can do is assume she found your photos and videos acceptable since I’m sure you would hear about it if she was displeased with your efforts.

Something I expected I wouldn’t like was the absence of a personalized experience. I’ve had several professional keyholders who have provided me exceptionally personalized services, but I paid anywhere between $100 and $200 per month for those services. For $35 per month, I certainly didn’t expect it to be as personal as my past experiences. I didn’t expect it to feel personal at all. But Mistress Elena surprised me and actually did an excellent job making the experience feel personal. Her emails were always brief, but personal enough it was easy to see she doesn’t just send out form emails and she is quick to praise you when she feels you’re deserving which lets you know she does review the photos and videos you send her each day. I could also sense she puts effort into creating the task assignments so that they are personalized for the individual.

In the beginning, I felt sending a daily proof photo and video every other day a somewhat onerous and needless requirement. But as time passed, I realized the requirement didn’t seem burdensome and actually helped keep me engaged. By the end of the month, I looked forward to taking the photos and making the videos each day knowing Mistress Elena was looking at them. So, I found myself trying my best to be creative in hopes of impressing and pleasing her. Based on the feedback I received, I feel I accomplished that.

Precautions When Using the Oxy-Shop Keyholding Service

In my opinion, this is a service for men who have a good basic understanding of how to safely wear a lockable chastity device. You are 100% responsible for your own safety while using the service. So, I wouldn’t recommend it for beginners who would be better served by finding an experienced keyholder offering a more personalized service tailored to experience level. But for someone who has some experience under his belt, doesn’t have a keyholder, and wants one, this service could be exactly what you’re looking for. It’s basic, but comes at a very reasonable and inexpensive price. And unlike many other affordable remote keyholding services you can find on the interwebs, a real person manages this one. In that regard, this service is truly one of a kind.

Also, I think this service is best for guys who wear open-style cages rather than closed tube devices. At one point I went more than two straight weeks locked with no opportunity to remove my device briefly for a deep cleaning. That wasn’t an issue because of the type devices I wear. But two weeks is too long to go between deep cleanings for guys wearing something like the Steelworxx Steelheart or any of the popular resin cages with mostly closed tubes. You need a device you can clean well in the shower without removing it.

Final Thoughts

On a scale of one to five, I rate the Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholder Service a solid four and have no reservations recommending it to those with moderate experience wearing a lockable chastity device. The price is unbeatable for anything close to what this professional service provides. The experience isn’t as personal as other services I’ve used (which were significantly more expensive) but personal enough to give you an authentic feeling of chastity under the control of a professional keyholder who is legitimately in charge.

I liked the service well enough that I’ve already signed up for another month. And if the second month goes as well as the first, Mistress Elena may well become my permanent keyholder for the foreseeable future. The cost of the service is well within my budget, fulfills my basic needs for keyholding, and I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve tired of self-locking for now and had been considering engaging another full-time keyholder for a while. And having looked at all my options, the Oxy-Shop service seems the best available for now.

Disclaimer: I paid for my month of keyholding service using my own funds, and I have no relationship with Oxy-Shop beyond being a satisfied customer. All opinions expressed are my own.

Month: June 2022