male chastity

The Coolidge Effect and Male Chastity

Ever wondered why practicing male chastity can improve a relationship with an existing intimate partner? There is science behind it, a biological phenomenon called the Coolidge Effect.

I’ve never made it a secret that the science behind the physiological and psychological is something I find massively interesting. That’s because I enjoy learning why spending time locked in a chastity device influences my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors the way it does. So, today, I want to visit an intriguing biological phenomenon, the Coolidge effect, that goes far in explaining why chaste males often develop renewed and deeper physical and emotional attraction to their intimate partners.

Researchers see the Coolidge effect in scientific studies of animals. While to date, no one has done any actual research on the phenomenon using human test subjects, scientists have observed the effect in most mammals studied. So, they believe human males also have this ancient component in their repertoire of evolutionary driven human mating strategies and it plays an important role in human sexuality. One reason is because dopamine plays such a significant role in the phenomenon.

What the Coolidge Effect is and How it Works

The Coolidge effect produces an increase in sexual responsiveness and a shortening of the sexual refractory period at the opportunity to have sex with a novel female. That’s because males exhibit renewed sexual interest whenever a new female becomes available because males have a built in preference for variety in sexual partners. There is an evolutionary benefit to this effect. Access to multiple females means a male might fertilize multiple females. No matter how much we’ve elevated the pleasure aspects of sex, from the perspective of evolution, efficient procreation was always the only point.

Certainly, not all or even most men in committed relationships engage in polygyny, a pattern of mating in which a male animal has more than one female mate that we see in other mammals, despite convincing proof human males probably have a definite preference for it. But the powerful attraction many men have for frequent masturbation while viewing porn might explain that.

Porn allows men to experience sexual stimulation and ejaculation virtually with a wide variety of sexually attractive females. And the endless supply of new virtual sexual partners can cause men to feel less and less attraction for their real life partners.

How Male Chastity Influences the Coolidge Effect

Male chastity short circuits the Coolidge effect. Once locked in a chastity device, a man no longer has access to either physical or virtual novel females for sexual activity. He can neither engage in an affair with another female outside his relationship or masturbate to female images through porn consumption. So, his intimate partner becomes the only outlet for the naturally increasing sexual arousal that his denial produces. Understanding the Coolidge Effect makes it pretty simple to understand why chaste men develop renewed and deeper attraction to their current partners, especially when those partners hold the keys to their men’s chastity devices.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day 11

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day 11 of the Thirty Days of Chastity meme, and today I’m sharing my views on chastity as a lifestyle choice.

Day 11: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT…

What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your life-style?

For me, chastity is definitely a lifestyle choice, not something I practice only for short periods (kink), because I firmly believe chastity adds value to my life. Here I define a lifestyle choice as a personal and conscious decision to perform a behavior in our everyday lives that can benefit us both physically and mentally and lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. And chastity has literally improved every aspect of my life.

Chastity has given me increased clarity, confidence, creativity, and drive. Since starting it, I’m more productive than I’ve ever been in my life. I feel at ease, peaceful, vibrant, and less stressed than I’ve ever felt. I feel like a different person.

I feel that the benefits I get from the chastity lifestyle come mostly from limiting ejaculations. That’s because many of the positives track well with the teachings about semen retention in Taoism and Tantra. No judgements on guys who practice chastity for short periods to satisfy their kink interests, but chastity is and will always be a lifestyle for me. I can’t even imagine my life anymore without chastity as an integral part of it.

Couple of Updates

Thunder Struck

I received an email this morning from Steelworxx, advising they have shipped my Thunder device. I’m stoked since I hadn’t expected to get it until the first week in July. While I’ve always preferred open-style cages, I am excited about trying my first enclosed tube device. Can’t wait to share a review after wear testing it.

Oxy-Shop Keyholder Service

I’m headed for the finish line with my 30-day Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholding Service trial. I’ll be posting a full review of the service tomorrow or Thursday at the latest. Some of my opinions might surprise you.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day 10

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day 10, and we’re one-third of the way through the Thirty Days of Chastity meme. Today’s question reminds me a little of the Ambrosia pop song from the seventies, “How Long.”

“How long has this been going on?

Well, your friends and their fancy persuasion

Don’t admit that it’s part of a scheme,

But I can’t help but have my suspicions

‘Cause I ain’t quite as dumb as I seem.”

DAY 10: HOW LONG…

What’s the longest you (or your partner) have been locked in? What’s your goal?

I am in my longest stretch of consecutively locked days right now, and today the number stands at 543 days. Yes, I’ve unlocked during that time, but only for 15-20 minutes every week or so for a deep cleaning. But otherwise, I’ve worn a chastity cage every single day over that period. Will I make it 730 days, two full years? I’m not sure.

My current streak began when I decided to try to go for one full year locked. But once I achieved it, I wasn’t ready to call it quits. I’ve kept going, although I never consciously thought about trying for two full years. Actually, it surprised me when I checked my status page one day and saw I’d surpassed the 500-day mark.

I suppose it’s fair to say, I don’t have a goal tied to number of days, weeks, months, or years. All I know is I want to remain in permanent chastity for the foreseeable future because it’s meaningful to me and adds value to my life. I have used goals in the past: 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, six months, and finally one full year. Those intermediate goals helped propel me to where I am today in my chastity journey.

Speaking of permanent chastity, just about everyone has their own opinion about what that means. For some purists, permanent chastity means you never remove the cage. Others, as I do, feel it’s okay to remove the cage for a few minutes for regular deep cleaning and maintenance, but you can’t touch herself and certainly can’t come. So, abstaining from orgasms I think is how many people define permanent chastity. I don’t agree with that. One woman, a wife and the keyholder for her husband, publishes a blog I read regularly. She has him on a seven-day schedule for reasons that make sense to her. So, she unlocks him once each week and he is allowed to masturbate to orgasm and ejaculate. Then after his weekly deep cleaning, she puts him back into the cage for another seven days. Is that permanent chastity? I don’t see how you could make a rational argument it isn’t. He spends most of his time, and has for a long while now, with his penis locked in a chastity cage.

My first keyholder counted days in chastity when she allowed me to unlock for cleaning and maintenance, but when she permitted me an orgasm, even a ruined one, she restarted the clock at day one. I understood the reasoning. She followed her philosophy about how long I should go without an orgasm. So, restarting the clock made it simpler for her to keep track. But since she always locked me up again immediately after the orgasms once I’d completed my weekly deep cleaning, it didn’t make sense why we started again with day one. I was never unlocked for more than twenty minutes and the orgasms were few and far between. Certainly not weekly like the guy I mentioned earlier.

But, for the purists out there, ninety days is the longest I’ve gone without an orgasm, and I’ve done that more than once. But someone else’s opinions don’t change my mind about the definition of permanent chastity. Since I also practice the semen retention concept, you can believe orgasms are infrequent for me. So, I still consider myself a permanent chastity practitioner even though I allow myself occasional orgasms when I’m self-locked. Like anything else, there is no one “true” way to do permanent chastity. So, every guy (or his keyholder if he has one) can decide what constitutes permanent chastity for him.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Nine

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day 9 of the Thirty Days of Chastity meme, and I wasn’t sure I had anything to offer on the topic for today. But then I remembered something I think fits the theme pretty well.

DAY 9: LISTEN…

Post a Chastity related song or music video you enjoy. If it isn’t directly chastity related then explain what it means to you? Is it part of your Chastity ritual?

This question stumped me a little at first. I love music and have rather eclectic tastes. But I’ve never thought of music as chastity related. But then I remembered something that happened with my first keyholder. I heard a song I liked that reminded me of her. I even told her about it. It’s the Matchbook 20 song “She’s So Mean.”

The lyrics open with…

“I kn-kn-know a girl

She gets what she wants all the time

‘Cause she’s fine

But for an angel, she’s a hot, hot mess

Make you so blind

But you don’t mind…”

That certainly fits. But it’s more the overall song theme “she’s so mean” that always made me think of her. Actually, it still does. I can’t hear the song even now without it bringing her to my mind and leaving me feeling a bit wistful.

Generally, we understand a mean person as someone we would describe as unkind or unfair. That’s not what I intend to convey here. My keyholder wasn’t unkind or unfair. She was, however, strict and demanding, just what I expect from my ideal of a strong, dominant woman.

It’s important for a keyholder to have the capacity to be strict and demanding, especially when they are the intimate partner of a chaste man. That’s because she can’t allow her natural desires to make her partner happy and to avoid being perceived as “mean” to persuade her to give in when he begs to be unlocked or for an early release. She must remain resolute and exacting if chastity is to work for her and her partner. A keyholder must have the wisdom to understand she is providing exactly what her man desires, no matter whether he begins to complain or feel sorry for himself.

So, if you have a keyholder that makes you think sometimes, “she so mean,” then know how fortunate you are to have a keyholder who gets it.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Eight

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day 8 of the Thirty Days of Chastity meme, and we’re almost a third of the way through. So far, I’ve revealed some pretty personal things about me; fantasies, toys, etc. We continue that today as I share chastity images that represent chastity to me.

DAY 8: LOOK…

Post a Chastity image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image or why it represents chastity to you.

In full disclosure, I must admit I’m not much into chastity porn. As examples, I don’t seek out or watch “Chastity” porn videos or look for images depicting chastity. I don’t consume any porn routinely anymore for some personal reasons. Not that I judge anyone who does. It just isn’t for me anymore. So, to respond to today’s topic, I actually had to make an effort to find an image to post, and I found two and am sharing both.

It is not my habit to “steal” copyrighted material and I won’t post images on this blog owned by someone else without the copyright holder’s permission or that don’t meet the criteria of Fair Use. The truth is, if there is anywhere to find chastity images, even photos you would be willing to pay for, I haven’t found it. Chastity isn’t yet mainstream enough for that. For that reason, I’m only posting links to the photos, so if you’re interested in seeing them, click the links.

Chastity Images

Image 1: https://steelwerksextreme.com/media/original_images/cage-w-shoe.jpg (From www.steelwerksextreme.com)

This image represents chastity to me because it covers all the primary elements. It depicts a male in a submissive pose locked in a chastity device, and while you see only her high-heeled shoe, a strong woman in charge. As I’ve written before, you needn’t be a submissive to enjoy and embrace male chastity, but chastity under the control of another is a submissive act. I think this image also speaks to that. I find this a compelling image because it depicts all of these things in a powerful, yet almost understated way.

Image 2: https://i0.wp.com/cage-de-chastete.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/RachaeLBelle-942×1024.jpeg (Red Chili Chastity Devices)

This second image also represents chastity to me in a powerful way. I saw this photo quite a long time ago and never forgot it. It illustrates the inclusive and diverse nature of chastity. Regardless of gender identity or sexual preferences, any penis owner can embrace and practice chastity just as I do. Here we have a lovely woman with breasts, attractively dressed, with her penis caged in a stylish chastity device. I think she’s stunning, and the chastity device only enhances it.

I don’t know the model, Rachael Belle, so I can only assume from her behavior, appearance, and dress as depicted in the image that she is a transgender person. As a cisgender man, I don’t pretend to understand everything about transgender people. And people’s thoughts and feelings about their gender can be complex. Having a variety of words and identity labels to describe the various ways they might think about their gender helps them communicate who they are. So, out of respect to Rachael, I won’t assume what words or identity labels she uses to describe herself.

Transgender people use many different terms to describe their experiences, and not all terms fit all people. Also, the terms or language a person prefers may change over time, and that’s totally normal and okay. So, approaching transgender people with respect, awareness, and a desire to learn about gender is always important in making sure you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or give unintended offense.

If you took a moment to click on the links and looked at these photos I’ve shared, I hope they resonated with you as well. And, I hope you feel you know me a bit better after reading this post.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Seven

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day 7 of the Thirty Days of Chastity meme, and today I’m giving you a peek inside my toy box.

DAY 7: YOUR TOY BOX…

What’s your favorite toy or item of equipment (excluding your chastity belt or device) that you use during chastity play? 

One thing a guy learns, almost out of necessity when embracing the chastity life, is there are other parts of the male body besides the penis that offer highly pleasurable sensations when stimulated properly. Butt play, one of my favorites, can be highly pleasurable and add an extra dimension to people’s sexual enjoyment. 

There are still many negative social barriers that prevent people from trying it, even if they want to. For straight men, masculinity can be a barrier to exploring anal penetration. For many men, being penetrated feels somehow less masculine, and being on the receiving end of such stimulation may seem not only weak, but feminine. But the truth is, the anus is full of sensitive nerve endings, and the proximity of a man’s prostate (sometimes referred to as the P-spot) makes this type of sexual stimulation powerfully pleasurable. 

So, when it comes to favorite toys or items of equipment (excluding my chastity device) that I use and enjoy during chastity play, it’s my, shall we say, impressive collection of anal toys. While I enjoy using all the tools in my toolkit, I do have a favorite. It’s a wave motion, 9-speed vibrating prostate massager called the Phanxy.

Introducing the Phanxy

Ergonomically designed, the Phanxy is made of velvety soft and body safe silicone. Dual motors drive the powerful vibration and wave motions that combine for an amazing pleasure response. Sorry if I sound like an infomercial. I have no connection with the company that makes the Phanxy beyond being a very satisfied customer. 

I actually considered answering today’s question by simply telling readers about my favorite toy in generic terms. The reason was because every person is different. A toy that provides a mind-blowing, lip biting experience for one person might well produce a meh response from someone else. So, I worried a little someone might rush out and buy the toy I raved about only to have a disappointing experience with it. That’s happened to me frequently and it can feel soul crushing, not to mention annoying when you feel you’ve wasted your hard-earned money. But I decided to identify the toy because I like it that much.

The Phanxy Specs 

The width of the insertable part of the Phanxy is 1.18 inches, which makes it appropriate even for beginners. I don’t insert huge things into my butt, but I have plenty of toys with much more girth than this one that I accommodate comfortably. But for its designed purpose, the Phanxy is plenty large enough. 

Overall, the toy’s length is 5.5 inches with an insertable length of 4.33 inches. It also comes with a Lithium battery (CR2032) powered remote, but there are also controls on the base. The unit is rechargeable, but the remote battery must be replaced when discharged. It’s also completely waterproof and can be used in the shower or bath. The manual says to allow two hours for charging, but mine charges much faster than that. A blue LED light flashes while charging, and once the light stops blinking and stays illuminated, it’s fully charged.

Why I Like This Prostate Massager So Much

I’ve pursued P-spot pleasure for years and tried almost every toy from the most well-known and recommended companies out there without getting close to the allusive P-spot orgasm I looked for until now. It didn’t happen with the Phanxy right away, and it took some time and experimentation to work out the kinks and find the perfect positioning technique. But unlike all the other toys I’ve tried, the Phanxy didn’t disappoint. Besides shuddering orgasms, I’ve also used this toy to accomplish reliable prostate milking. And to me, that’s where I get the most value from this prostate massager. 

Some believe that long-term orgasm denial can be harmful by causing prostate problems, including increased risk of prostate cancer later in life. The medical research on this is sketchy at best, but I believe it is wise to err on the side of caution. But I’d rather “milk the prostate” than simply orgasm the usual way, and when locked, I typically do it once per month. 

While I have seen no compelling medical evidence it needs to be done once a month, this seems the prevailing wisdom you find on the internet. And since it’s pleasurable, why not? The Phanxy makes it ridiculously easy to accomplish. I have only one other toy in my arsenal I have used for prostate milking that’s been reliable, and it doesn’t work every time. But this one does. 

One of the best things is this massager cost me less than thirty bucks, which is a fraction of the price I’ve paid for many more well-known massagers that never worked for me.

 

Please remember, everything I’ve shared here is my personal experiences. Regardless of how pleased I am with this prostate massager, if you decide to get one, your mileage may vary.

Let’s Talk Penis Piercings and Chastity

Penis Piercings and Chastity. Love the idea or hate it? Let's talk about it.

Do you have a penis piercing? Have you ever seriously considered getting one?

I don’t have a piercing, but I spend a lot of time vacillating about whether to get one. Anyone who has ever worn a standard ball-trapping chastity device knows that security is an illusion. Sure, a well-fitted, locked cage isn’t going to fall off by itself. But we all know we could escape from a locked device if we wished.

While I’ve never escaped or even tried while under the supervision of a keyholder, I have tried escaping from devices when I review them so I can give an opinion on how secure they are. Some are simply more secure than others. But for a guy who wants true security, a penis piercing, usually a Prince Albert (PA), is a way to get it.

I even know a Pro Domme who won’t take on permanent keyholding for a guy unless he has a PA or is willing to get one. And I’ve read stories from women who hold their husband or partner’s key who persuaded their men to get a PA for optimum security.

So, I’ve thought about getting pierced for the added security, but haven’t reached a firm decision.

There Must Be Sixteen Ways to Pierce Your Penis

We’ll cover the basics since there is no way to know every single person who might read this blog post knows all about penis piercings.

A penis piercing is any type of jewelry inserted into the:

  • glans (head of the penis)
  • foreskin (uncircumcised penises)
  • shaft
  • scrotum

 

At the right is an image I found showing sixteen different types of male genital piercings.

Of course, not all the available options would be applicable to securing a chastity device. The PA is the the most common piercing for chastity device wearers.

Penis Piercing

People get piercings for various reasons, from sexual pleasure to aesthetics. Many years ago, I considered getting a piercing, mostly for the aesthetics. But I was considering a scrotum piercing, sometimes called a “Hafada.” It’s a scrotum piercing that passes through the loose layers of tissue along the scrotum.

Traditionally, this piercing was done in pairs, where the rings rested on either side of the shaft when flaccid. But the piercing now tends to be done along the center seam of the scrotum. It can be done singularly or in multiples. But of course, this type wouldn’t apply to chastity device security, which we’re talking about here.

So lately, I’ve been thing more about getting a penis piercing. While the PA is the most popular piercing for guys wanting true chastity device security, I’m not wild about the idea of having a hole punched through my urethra. And the Price Albert goes in the end of the urethra and exits through a hole on the underside of the penis, where the glans meets the shaft.

While I’ve been thinking more about getting a penis piercing, I’m uncertain about getting a PA, the most popular piercing for guys wanting true chastity device security. The Prince Albert goes in the end of the urethra and exits through a hole on the underside of the penis, where the glans meets the shaft.

There is also a reverse Prince Albert piercing. The names are similar, but they are actually very different. While the PA goes through a small amount of tissue and is quick to heal, the reverse PA is essentially an Apadravya piercing without the Prince Albert. This means that the piercing enters on the top side of the penis (usually centered) and exits out the urethral opening. That makes the healing time for a reverse PA quite a bit longer than for a Prince Albert.

So, yes, the PA seems a little intimidating to me, but I’m not all that squeamish, and I am considering a Prince Albert. But it probably isn’t my first choice.

The Penis Piercing I Most Prefer

The Frenum piercing is what I find most appealing. It’s a common first penis piercing. I’m told they are easy to sit through, and healing tends to be relatively quick and uncomplicated, usually only six to eight weeks.

I like the Frenum from an aesthetic perspective, and it seems it would also work for chastity. It seems the modular chastity device I reviewed that came with a PA hook would also work with a Frenum piercing and a ring. I know some custom chastity device manufacturers that offer hooks specifically for Frenum piercings.

The Frenum is a surface piercing. Traditional placement is through the loose skin on the underside of the penis, slightly back from the frenulum. Placement usually corresponds roughly with the circumcision scar on circumcised men. I’ve read that surface penis piercings are more prone to rejection and migration.

Rejection is when your body treats your jewelry as an irritant and decides to push it out, or “reject” it.

Piercing migration is the process that occurs when a body piercing moves from its initial location. Migration can be painful or go unnoticed until it has progressed. Given enough time, the jewelry may migrate entirely outside of the skin, although it may only migrate a small amount and come to rest.

So far, I’ve only had one short conversation with a piercer. He didn’t seem to know a lot about chastity devices, but after I explained it, he expressed reservations saying he felt concerned that using a Frenum piercing with a chastity device could put too much stress on the piercing since it’s a surface piercing. He also told me that initial jewelry is usually a 10 gauge or 8 gauge barbell, most often 5/8 inches in length. But after healing, I could go to a ring if I was determined to try using the piercing with a chastity device.

So, I’m still vacillating. I love the looks of penis piercings and am curious to try one. But if I choose to get one, I’ll probably get a Frenum piercing first and then maybe that will help me decide about getting a PA later.

 

Now over to you. Do you have a penis piercing you use with your chastity device? Please share your pro tips in a comment below.

In tomorrow’s Thirty Days of Chastity meme post, I’ll share my favorite toy (excluding my chastity device) that I use during chastity play.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Six

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

Chastity and fantasies, our topic on this sixth day of the meme, sounds promising.

DAY 6: FANTASIES…

Describe your weirdest or most interesting Chastity fantasy.

Lucy picked up a small stainless-steel cage from the table, a penis-shaped enclosure, and a shiny metal ring.

“This looks about the right size,” she said. “Drop your pants and underwear.”

Gulping, I complied and then stood before her, feeling ridiculous with my pants and briefs bunched around my ankles. My heart pounded. My mouth felt dry, but sweat beaded on my forehead.

The shadow of a smile played on Lucy’s lips as she observed my obvious discomfort. Then she crossed the floor and kneeled in front of me. Looking down, I watched as she threaded the loose skin of my scrotum and then my balls inside the metal ring. Then she pushed and pulled my soft cock through the ring until it nestled atop my balls. Finally, she slid the cage over my flaccid shaft. I flinched when Lucy snapped the tiny lock shut.

“Oh, yes, that looks marvelous,” Lucy said, standing and then cupping my imprisoned member. 

I looked down again at her handiwork. My penis looked pathetic. Defeated, somehow. Like a lonely little hairless creature in some dodgy foreign zoo, pathetically squishing its pink, malnourished flanks against the bars of a teeny-tiny steel cage. I felt the weight of the steel pulling at my balls. I knew it would take some getting used to.

It felt wrong on so many levels. And yet the thought of Lucy forcing me to do this, her controlling me like this excited me.

“Oh no,” I groaned, feeling my manhood swell.

“He likes his tiny cage,” Lucy laughed.

“But what happens if…” I stammered, pointing at the cage.

“No worries. It can’t grow properly erect. But the more your cock swells, the more painful it will feel.”

Lucy gave me a wicked grin.

“Now that you’re properly locked, it is now my property to do with as I wish. Only I can free you. Your cock, orgasms, and pleasure. Now I control it all.”

Listening to her words, I felt my cock swelling even more until the tip protruded beyond the small bars at the end.

“What do I do?” I moaned as the pain increased.

“Step out of your trousers and underwear, boy,” Lucy said. “Then go to the bathroom and have a wee. That should sort you out.”

Hurriedly, I stepped out of the clothing around my ankles and rushed to the bathroom. Impatiently, I waited for the stream of urine to flow. Then at the last minute, it occurred that the bars at the end of the cage might deflect the stream and make a mess. So quickly, I turned and sat down on the toilet seat. Lucy had been right. Once the flow started, the swelling and pain subsided. After finishing, I washed my hands and returned to the room where Lucy was waiting.

“It took you long enough,” Lucy said impatiently, slapping her stocking clad thigh with the riding crop she held. “Lie on the floor, slave, face up.”

Knowing I had annoyed her already, I hurried to assume the position on the floor. Lucy walked past me, then turned and stood at my head, looking down at me. She wore a fancy silk corset with matching knickers, a suspender belt, and thigh high black stockings with lace tops. A pair of black patent leather stilettos with 6-centimeter heels completed her ensemble. Her auburn, shoulder length hair framed her angelic face. Yet I knew Lucy was no angel, but a cruel taskmaster. She made it no secret. She was the beauty, and I was the beast, fortunate indeed that she gave me any attention at all.

I watched as she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of the knickers, and then sensuously slipped them down her firm thighs and long shapely legs, before letting them drop to the floor. Stepping out of the knickers, she positioned a stiletto on either side of my head. Then, slowly, she lowered herself until she knelt over my face. 

“Worship your Mistress, slave,” she commanded, pressing the warm, moist folds of her flesh against my mouth.

Suddenly, the swelling started again, but then I felt a different sort of pain when Mistress Lucy brought the crop down sharply on my exposed, entrapped balls. Again and again and again, as she continued fiercely pressing and thrusting her wet flesh against my mouth.

 

Clearly, I enjoy chastity and no one would ever have to force me to wear a cock cage. But strangely, as the brief vignette above shows, my chastity fantasies center on a strong, dominant woman forcing me to endure enforced chastity and then subjecting me to all manner of wicked, cruel things. I’m not completely sure why those fantasies turn me on, but perhaps it’s the control aspect.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Five

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

In yesterday’s post, Day Four of Thirty Days of Chastity, I faced a question that wasn’t applicable to me since the topic was Chastity with partners and I’m single and don’t have a partner involved in my chastity journey. But today I’m back on solid ground with a question that does apply as we focus on the topic of first chastity experiences.

DAY 5: YOUR FIRST TIME…

What was your first time in Chastity like? How long were you locked in? What did it feel like and what happened on your release? If you are the Keyholder, what was it like for you? 

As I shared in the third post of this series, I searched for a remote keyholder when I tried chastity for the first time. I’ve always been glad I approached it that way because I think that provided a better outcome than I might have experienced had I gone at it alone with no actual idea about what I was doing. I actually found my first keyholder and entered a month-long agreement with her a few days before the chastity device I had ordered arrived. So, she guided me from the very beginning. 

The day my first device showed up in my mailbox, I contacted her and we began that same day. As I’ve also shared, the first device I bought was a disaster as it fit poorly and, in the end, didn’t work for me at all. That’s because I hadn’t learned about the importance of taking accurate measurements before ordering a cock cage. I had taken a quick measurement for the base ring, which eventually proved inaccurate, but that was all the thought I gave to measuring. Nevertheless, since it was the only device I had, we used it for the first week while I waited for a more suitable device to arrive. 

As I remember it, it was about five in the afternoon when I found the device in the mailbox and reached out to the keyholder and received my first instructions. First, she told me to inspect the tube and base for any pointy or excessively rough spots that might cause injuries, and then had me familiarize myself with all the parts and how the thing fitted together. Next, after I found no problems with the device and felt I understood how the thing worked, she told me to put the device on for the first time.

Putting on the Chastity Device for the First Time

Unlike the experiences some guys have told me they had, putting the device on the first time didn’t provoke an erection for me. And that has never happened since I began chastity, which I suppose shows chastity devices aren’t fetishistic for me. But once I had it locked on, I found the attendant sensations quite arousing. 

First, while the tube was more than an inch longer than I needed, the inner diameter of the tube was just about right. It wasn’t tight, but there wasn’t much extra space, so I liked the feel of the metal encasing my penis. It was a solid tube, so it concealed my entire penis and I liked the aesthetics of that. Last, when I clicked the lock shut for the first time, it was almost a viscerally emotional experience knowing another person controlled when I could unlock.

My keyholder, who is very knowledgeable about chastity and safety conscious, told me to wear the device the rest of the day, but to remove it at bedtime. She wouldn’t allow me to sleep wearing it until she felt sure I wasn’t having any restricted circulation issues. So, I only wore the device for about four hours the first time. 

I liked the feel of the device so much; I removed it at bedtime with great reluctance. But I followed my keyholder’s instructions. Later I would be glad I did because by the next day I already had a few tender spots from the friction of the base ring on the tender skin around my scrotum, just from wearing the device for four hours the first time. Yet, I was eager to put the device back on the next morning. 

In summary, I enjoyed the feel of the device that first time―the way it encased my penis, the weight of it, and the look of it locked on―and having to remove it the first time was a little disheartening because I hated taking it off. Overall, I found it a positive experience despite the issue I had with a testicle popping free from the base ring frequently, which started happening the very first day. That was because the gap set by the manufacturer of the device was too wide for me. So, things definitely improved once I ordered and received a much better fitted second device. Still, from that first day, I knew wearing chastity devices was something I liked on many levels and would stay with.

While I can’t say my introduction to chastity was seamless, I enjoyed it and I knew almost from the first day that it was something I’d continue long term.

As always, feel free to share your first time chastity experience in the comments below.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Four

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

Here at Day Four of Thirty Days of Chastity, the topic is Chastity with partners. Since I’m single and don’t have a partner involved in my chastity journey, obviously I can’t provide an answer to the actual question for today. But I didn’t want to just skip the day, so I’m going to answer a different question while keeping to the theme of the day. Below I’ve provided both the original question from the meme, and the alternate question I’m answering.

DAY 4: PARTNERS…

Today’s question from the meme

Did you suggest that you be locked in chastity to your partner, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

My alternate question

If you had a partner, do you imagine you would suggest they lock you in chastity, or that they would suggest it to you? What do you imagine that first conversation might look like?

I have it from a reliable source that guys ask their partners to lock them in chastity about eighty percent of the time. So, statistically, I expect if I got into a conventional intimate relationship with someone, then I’d be the one suggesting chastity. I’d definitely want chastity as part of the relationship, so when I felt the time was right, I would bring it up. And I’d do it sooner rather than later. Because of what chastity means to me, I can’t envision having a successful intimate relationship with someone who was unwilling to incorporate chastity in the relationship, and I wouldn’t want a relationship without it. Hard stop.

How would I bring it up? I’d simply be honest and upfront about it. I’ve never been a guy who felt awkward about sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with a woman I believed cares about me genuinely and I trust.

First, I’d tell her chastity is something important to me and why I need it for me and as part of the relationship. Then I’d explain why and how I believed that chastity would strengthen our relationship and deepen our intimacy. Finally, I’d tell them that chastity would enable me to consistently put their needs, desires, and sexual pleasure above mine and to serve them in every way with devotion and love.

If I knew the person knew little about chastity, I would also have a good book on hand to give them that explained what chastity is, why so many men want it, how it benefits a partner, and the responsibilities of a chastity keyholder. I’d rather pass on accurate information that way rather than leave it up to them to research it on their own and maybe come across some of the more ridiculous stuff on the internet that gets conflated with chastity and that might put them off the idea. I’d answer any initial questions or address any concerns, and then I’d close the conversation by asking them to read the book I’d give them and ask for another conversation once they finished reading it and had thought it all over.

That’s all a little general, but it’s impossible to say exactly what you would tell a potential partner since you would have to tailor the conversation to what level of awareness the person had about chastity. One thing I’d definitely avoid would be casting chastity as some kinky sexual thing or the fulfillment of my sexual fantasies. I’d present it the way I look at it, a lifestyle preference that can strengthen a loving relationship and make me the best man and partner I can be.

My General Thoughts on Having a Partner Keyholder

I truly admire the relationship that Thumper (Denying Thumper blog) has with his wife and keyholder Belle. A part of me longs for a relationship like that. But frankly, I don’t see that as a part of my future.

Some years ago, I was in a relationship with a woman who was “the one” for me. We suited each other perfectly in every way. She is the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, has an assertive personality that resonates with me, loves sex, is delightfully kinky, and to me is breathtakingly gorgeous. I love her more than any human being on the planet, and while the relationship ended for reasons beyond our control, I know she still cares for me deeply and thankfully, to this day, we remain close friends. The problem is, she set an impossible bar for any other woman to meet. I know this because I’ve had two relationships since with women who are wonderful in their own rights, but both relationships ended because they never came close to the ideal that I’d experienced. Clearly, that’s my issue, not theirs. But after the last relationship ended, I lost interest in pursuing another and maybe it was my last. The woman I still love is simply irreplaceable. I haven’t sought another relationship for almost three years and have no regrets.

However, while I’m not seeking someone for a relationship in the usual sense, I do dream about finding a woman as a permanent keyholder. I’d prefer someone who lived in the same zip code so that we could spend time together and so I’d have opportunities to serve her in actual ways. But I’d settle for a permanent remote keyholder under the right circumstances, even with someone I might never see in person. While I get much of what I want from chastity by self-locking, each time I engage a remote keyholder, it reminds me of how it expands and deepens the experience of all the things about chastity I find so meaningful.

While it’s true, I could engage a Pro Domme as a permanent remote keyholder any time I wish. As long as I’m willing to pay for keyholding services. There is always one missing element with those arrangements. Professionals aren’t looking for a guy to love them, much less to love back. They simply provide a service for a fee, whether remotely or in person. Sure, they may come to like you as a person and value you as a client, but at the end of the day, it’s only a business arrangement. And I understand why they want to keep their clients at arm’s length. While I’m always happy to pay the fees for professional keyholding, I always miss the freedom to express affection if I feel it or receive any. So, the permanent keyholder arrangement I often wish for isn’t something I believe I could ever find with a Pro Domme.

Maybe what I dream of isn’t realistic. I suppose it would have to be a woman interested in chastity and keyholding because it resonated with her, not because it was her job. And who was open to whatever feelings developed between us. I’d still happily pay such woman keyholding fees. After all, if we lived at a distance that made it impossible for me to serve her physically, money and gifts are the only realistic options for serving her at all. And I think that’s important, since nothing is as valuable to any of us as time and I wouldn’t expect someone to give me their time without receiving something of value in return. So, it’s a dream, but maybe not a practical one.

That’s all I have to say on the topic of chastity with a partner. I hope many who read this are fortunate enough to have an intimate partner as their keyholder since I’m convinced that is experiencing chastity at its best. But how about you? If you’re answering the questions from the meme with me as we move through it, which question have you answered? I hope you will consider leaving a comment.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.