Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk
Here at Day Four of Thirty Days of Chastity, the topic is Chastity with partners. Since I’m single and don’t have a partner involved in my chastity journey, obviously I can’t provide an answer to the actual question for today. But I didn’t want to just skip the day, so I’m going to answer a different question while keeping to the theme of the day. Below I’ve provided both the original question from the meme, and the alternate question I’m answering.
DAY 4: PARTNERS…
Today’s question from the meme
Did you suggest that you be locked in chastity to your partner, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.
My alternate question
If you had a partner, do you imagine you would suggest they lock you in chastity, or that they would suggest it to you? What do you imagine that first conversation might look like?
I have it from a reliable source that guys ask their partners to lock them in chastity about eighty percent of the time. So, statistically, I expect if I got into a conventional intimate relationship with someone, then I’d be the one suggesting chastity. I’d definitely want chastity as part of the relationship, so when I felt the time was right, I would bring it up. And I’d do it sooner rather than later. Because of what chastity means to me, I can’t envision having a successful intimate relationship with someone who was unwilling to incorporate chastity in the relationship, and I wouldn’t want a relationship without it. Hard stop.
How would I bring it up? I’d simply be honest and upfront about it. I’ve never been a guy who felt awkward about sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with a woman I believed cares about me genuinely and I trust.
First, I’d tell her chastity is something important to me and why I need it for me and as part of the relationship. Then I’d explain why and how I believed that chastity would strengthen our relationship and deepen our intimacy. Finally, I’d tell them that chastity would enable me to consistently put their needs, desires, and sexual pleasure above mine and to serve them in every way with devotion and love.
If I knew the person knew little about chastity, I would also have a good book on hand to give them that explained what chastity is, why so many men want it, how it benefits a partner, and the responsibilities of a chastity keyholder. I’d rather pass on accurate information that way rather than leave it up to them to research it on their own and maybe come across some of the more ridiculous stuff on the internet that gets conflated with chastity and that might put them off the idea. I’d answer any initial questions or address any concerns, and then I’d close the conversation by asking them to read the book I’d give them and ask for another conversation once they finished reading it and had thought it all over.
That’s all a little general, but it’s impossible to say exactly what you would tell a potential partner since you would have to tailor the conversation to what level of awareness the person had about chastity. One thing I’d definitely avoid would be casting chastity as some kinky sexual thing or the fulfillment of my sexual fantasies. I’d present it the way I look at it, a lifestyle preference that can strengthen a loving relationship and make me the best man and partner I can be.
My General Thoughts on Having a Partner Keyholder
I truly admire the relationship that Thumper (Denying Thumper blog) has with his wife and keyholder Belle. A part of me longs for a relationship like that. But frankly, I don’t see that as a part of my future.
Some years ago, I was in a relationship with a woman who was “the one” for me. We suited each other perfectly in every way. She is the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, has an assertive personality that resonates with me, loves sex, is delightfully kinky, and to me is breathtakingly gorgeous. I love her more than any human being on the planet, and while the relationship ended for reasons beyond our control, I know she still cares for me deeply and thankfully, to this day, we remain close friends. The problem is, she set an impossible bar for any other woman to meet. I know this because I’ve had two relationships since with women who are wonderful in their own rights, but both relationships ended because they never came close to the ideal that I’d experienced. Clearly, that’s my issue, not theirs. But after the last relationship ended, I lost interest in pursuing another and maybe it was my last. The woman I still love is simply irreplaceable. I haven’t sought another relationship for almost three years and have no regrets.
However, while I’m not seeking someone for a relationship in the usual sense, I do dream about finding a woman as a permanent keyholder. I’d prefer someone who lived in the same zip code so that we could spend time together and so I’d have opportunities to serve her in actual ways. But I’d settle for a permanent remote keyholder under the right circumstances, even with someone I might never see in person. While I get much of what I want from chastity by self-locking, each time I engage a remote keyholder, it reminds me of how it expands and deepens the experience of all the things about chastity I find so meaningful.
While it’s true, I could engage a Pro Domme as a permanent remote keyholder any time I wish. As long as I’m willing to pay for keyholding services. There is always one missing element with those arrangements. Professionals aren’t looking for a guy to love them, much less to love back. They simply provide a service for a fee, whether remotely or in person. Sure, they may come to like you as a person and value you as a client, but at the end of the day, it’s only a business arrangement. And I understand why they want to keep their clients at arm’s length. While I’m always happy to pay the fees for professional keyholding, I always miss the freedom to express affection if I feel it or receive any. So, the permanent keyholder arrangement I often wish for isn’t something I believe I could ever find with a Pro Domme.
Maybe what I dream of isn’t realistic. I suppose it would have to be a woman interested in chastity and keyholding because it resonated with her, not because it was her job. And who was open to whatever feelings developed between us. I’d still happily pay such woman keyholding fees. After all, if we lived at a distance that made it impossible for me to serve her physically, money and gifts are the only realistic options for serving her at all. And I think that’s important, since nothing is as valuable to any of us as time and I wouldn’t expect someone to give me their time without receiving something of value in return. So, it’s a dream, but maybe not a practical one.
That’s all I have to say on the topic of chastity with a partner. I hope many who read this are fortunate enough to have an intimate partner as their keyholder since I’m convinced that is experiencing chastity at its best. But how about you? If you’re answering the questions from the meme with me as we move through it, which question have you answered? I hope you will consider leaving a comment.
If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.