In today’s post, we’re debunking 5 crazy chastity myths. Those who help perpetuate these common myths probably do so more out of ignorance than malice. But the absence of bad intentions doesn’t absolve those who insist on spreading their mistaken beliefs. We should confront the untruths.
Lots of women find the idea of male chastity a turn off. Many women on Fetlife who identify as lifestyle female doms are probably the most dismissive of male chastity and wearing chastity devices I’ve ever encountered. Those who consider male chastity unworthy of consideration and even ridicule men who want to wear a chastity device have a distorted perspective about chastity.
Chastity is Just Another Selfish Male-Centric, Penis-Focused Kink
Here is a view I’ve often seen chastity detractors espouse. Wearing a chastity device is not even about chastity. It’s about male arousal and wearing a cock cage serves only to make men horny, making men and that little thing between their legs the center of the attention. Men who say they want their penis locked up don’t want to be ignored. Instead, they want the exact opposite. They don’t want to be chaste. They want a woman to tease them to keep them in that state of unresolved sexual excitation they find very pleasurable. Men who wear those metal or plastic devices want to do it in exchange for a woman giving their penis attention.
There is much to unpack here. A lot of it is just the usual pedestrian male stereotypical tropes we often hear from women. All men are obsessed with their penis. They think about sex and making their penis happy all the time. Men only see women as sex objects useful to be used to get them off. I get it.
There are selfish men that don’t treat women with the respect they deserve. I understand why some women become jaded after encountering such men way too often. But another part of the problem, as I discussed in a previous post, is that women don’t understand male libido and how it works, but think they do. And that explains a lot of some women’s frustrations with men. And it’s why they don’t understand the teasing aspect that is such a necessary part of male chastity.
You often find grains of truth, even in myths. And women aren’t wrong that a man who desires chastity doesn’t want to get locked and forgotten. Chastity is not a set and forget proposition. Men want a woman to tease them while locked to keep them in that state of unresolved sexual excitation, and they find it very pleasurable. But the teasing and continued sexual excitement is a necessary part of the chastity dynamic. Without teasing, wearing a chastity device quickly becomes just frustrating, which doesn’t benefit anyone. And a man ignored, soon loses interest in staying locked.
Needing and wanting to get the teasing necessary to sustain continuous arousal from a keyholder doesn’t make the practice of chastity selfish. The absence of teasing only makes chastity pointless. I don’t think anyone could make a convincing argument that the willingness of a guy to wear a chastity device and cede all control of his penis and access to sexual pleasure isn’t about the most unselfish thing any man could do.
And one last point. Is it a crime for a man to enjoy the feelings of unresolved sexual excitation by finding it pleasurable? Do women actually believe that everything must be about them, their needs and desires? What’s wrong with both partners benefiting from chastity? Besides, much of the teasing that men desire focuses on his keyholder, anyway. Chastity is not a male-centric, penis focused kink. Thankfully, there are women who get it and have discovered how they can use chastity to their advantage.
Chastity Devices Are Impractical
Another myth often encountered is that chastity devices are impractical. Here is how the argument goes. A chastity device must be unlocked for cleaning frequently, or else it presents a major hygiene issue like unpleasant odors, sores, or infections. The noticeable bulge a device causes creates concern that others will notice the chastity cage when worn in public. Foreskins and over sensitive bits can get pinched, the devices can chafe and so on.
Yes, the device must come off sometimes in the interest of good hygiene, but many of the open “birdcage” style cages can stay on for weeks without removal. I often wear a device for a month at a time without getting unlocked and can keep things reasonably clean using a handheld showerhead. And even unlocking once a week for a thorough cleaning doesn’t make wearing a chastity cage impractical. And with so many well fitting devices available today, choosing the right device renders things like pinching, chafing, and general discomfort a thing of the past. I’m almost always caged, and rarely even notice the device. Manufacturers design chastity devices to conform to the normal contours of the male body and genitals, which eliminates any concern that someone in public will notice I’m wearing a chastity device.
Chastity Devices Don’t Work
Chastity cages aren’t inescapable and won’t prevent a determined, horny guy from masturbating, some claim. Both assertions are true. It requires suspension of belief to feel that you are hopelessly trapped in a locked chastity device. I know I could escape. And all I need to have an orgasm is my powerful wand vibrator, held against the cage. But it’s still a myth chastity devices don’t work. That’s because those who push this myth fail to take into account that men who wear chastity devices want to wear them and the vast majority of us don’t cheat. Wearing a device prevents men from masturbating and having orgasms in the usual way. We don’t cheat because we know if we aren’t serious about chastity, no keyholder will be serious about it either. Besides, we desire chastity. We want to remain chaste while wearing a device.
Chastity Isn’t Orgasm Control
Those who promote this myth say chastity isn’t orgasm control. Here is the argument. Chastity refers to the wearing of a cock cage and no orgasms thing. Orgasm control refers to someone exercising control over someone’s orgasms. This can include not only denial but permitting them to cum. It can also include forced orgasms, making them on demand several times in a row. And a chastity device is unnecessary for orgasm control anyway, since a submissive should always obey his dominant when she prohibits him from playing with himself, masturbating, or coming.
Chastity is orgasm control. It’s orgasm control at a whole other level. Part of what sustains this myth is too many people conflate chastity with strict orgasm denial. They think a caged guy should never get orgasms but should remain perpetually denied. That isn’t actually what chastity is about. Yes, a guy remains denied for whatever period his keyholder keeps him locked. And orgasm denial is what produces the effects that men find pleasurable. But she is free to unlock him and permit orgasms whenever she chooses. Get it? The keyholder controls his orgasms, totally. How is chastity not orgasm control? That makes no sense.
Chastity Doesn’t Change Male Behavior Positively
Many people don’t believe chastity changes male behavior positively, despite all the claims by both women and men that it does. Those who don’t outright deny chastity alters behavior say it is the orgasm denial that makes men more attentive, compliant, and affectionate. There is nothing magical about wearing a chastity device which is merely a male sex toy. To me, that last part of the argument makes little sense unless you conflate chastity with orgasm denial.
Chastity is distinct from orgasm denial. Yes, it is the effects of orgasm denial enforced by the device that produce the favorable male behavior. But someone could practice straight orgasm denial without wearing a cock cage and get the same results, which people did for many years before the first chastity device came along. Introducing a chastity device makes the activity a distinct thing, and the cage contributes to the effects so many men experience and keyholders observe.
The argument neither chastity nor orgasm denial changes male behavior is false and ridiculous. Of course it does. I’ve experienced myself many times and so have a lot of other people. People who deny chastity affects behavior changes simply reveal they don’t know what they are talking about and deserve to be ignored.
That’s debunking 5 crazy chastity myths. All get promoted by people who know little about chastity and, for whatever reasons, have no interest in learning what chastity is about. Sure, chastity isn’t for everyone. I prefer a dominant woman as a keyholder who doesn’t reject the idea of chastity outright. It tells me she has taken the time to learn what it is about. Also, it shows she will consider ideas and opinions that are new or different to her own and doesn’t selfishly dismiss something just because her submissive might take pleasure in doing it for her.
Dominant women who find the idea of male chastity a turn off and ridicule men who desire it don’t bother me because they hold no interest for me, especially those who use the myths discussed in this post to justify their rejection of something they obviously know little about. It makes me wonder what else they don’t know. I’d find it hard to trust someone like that enough to submit to their control.