It’s time for the December 2023 edition of Mail Call, where I answer reader submitted chastity related questions.
This month, I’ve received three questions from readers about things I think might hold interest for our wider audience, so let’s get to them.
Hasn’t Quite Cracked the Right Fit and Style for Long-Term Wear
This question comes from reader ML…
Hey,
I’ve been a (not very great) chastity user for around 6 years now. Unfortunately, due to cost and difficulties finding a comfy fit, I’m still yet to wear one for more than 4 days. It’s great to see blogs and info on people who really enjoy wearing them too! I’ve mostly got on with metal ones. But want to figure out an affordable option for a light but secure material for longer term wear. What advice would you have for someone who still hasn’t quite cracked the right fit and style in finding one? My concern is I’ll spend big money on one. But the money will be wasted due to the fit not being quite right.
Any advice welcome! Stay locked!
There are two main reasons guys never get past wearing a chastity device comfortably for more than a few days—trying to go from zero to hero too quickly or not spending the time to take proper measurements before buying a device.
Given the vast number of relatively inexpensive devices available today that offer a reasonable fit (except for guys with some physical anomaly that prevents them from wearing a ball-trap device), I believe anyone who wants to can adjust to wearing a chastity device long-term. They just have to find a well-fitting device within their budget and give their body enough time to adjust to wearing it.
Patience Grasshopper
We’re all unique. Some of us have more sensitive skin than others. Some of us have lower tolerance for discomfort than others. So, there is no way I or anyone can offer a one-size fits all solution to the question: how much time does it take to get accustomed to wearing a chastity device comfortably?
I don’t have overly sensitive skin and I rate my tolerance for discomfort as average. Under the guidance of a very experienced and knowledgeable professional keyholder, I went from putting on a chastity device for the first time to wearing in 24/7 in two weeks. But that won’t work for every guy.
I’m confident this 3-week schedule for beginners I recently updated will work for most guys. But if you try it and experience excessive chafing, broken skin, or pain, then customize the recommended schedule by dropping back a step and giving it a few more days or another week at that step before advancing to the next step again. Of course, you’re never going to adjust to wearing a poorly fitting device.
Measure, Measure, Measure
Don’t skip the measuring step before ordering a chastity device. Yes, those who have followed this blog for a while probably think I sound like a broken record. But I can’t stress enough how important measuring is to getting a good fitting device. You can probably find a thousand different ways to measure for a chastity device on the web. If you’re looking at getting a particular device and the manufacturer gives measurement instructions, by all means, use those. But as far as generic instructions go, this method is as good as any and better than most.
First, using a ruler or measuring tape, Measure your penis when flaccid (not shriveled) and at its smallest. Take this measurement at least three times on three consecutive days at about the same time of day. Then either total the measurements, and divide by three or go with the shortest of the three as your flaccid length measurement. I like a tight fit, so I always subtract 3/4 inch from my final length measurement.
Measuring the circumference of your flaccid penis isn’t necessary unless you’re ordering a custom cage. That’s because manufacturers use a standard cage inside diameter aimed at the average. That will work for most guys, so I wouldn’t bother with this measurement if you’re getting an off-the-shelf device.
Measure for the base ring by measuring the circumference of an imaginary circle running across the top of the base of your penis where it meets your body and beneath your scrotum, and back to the top of your penis base. The best way is to use a length of string, roughly close to the thickness of a base ring. Wrap it over the base of the penis and beneath the scrotum. Pull it tight, but not so tight that it presses into your flesh. Mark the string where the string overlaps on the top of your penis base. Then measure that length with a ruler or tape measure. This measurement is the circumference of the imaginary circle, so you must divide the result by 3.14 (pi) to get the diameter of the base ring you need. As an example, your measurement is 6-1/4 inches. 6.25/3.14=1.99 inches. (Round up to 2 inches). Here is an even more accurate method to determine base ring size.
Chastity device manufacturer Mature Metal sells a set of nine plastic sizing rings for $30 with sizes ranging from 1-1/8″ to 2-1/8″ and this is an excellent investment if you want to get the exact size base ring needed. Just experiment until you find the ring size you can comfortably wear and that doesn’t restrict blood circulation. Many manufacturers only supply one ring with a device, so you need to get this right the first time to avoid spending more money to get a different size if you get it wrong.
Metal or Plastic?
With your measurements in hand, you first must choose between metal and plastic. When I first started chastity, I only wanted stainless steel. And I have several steel devices, many of them custom-made devices. But I now prefer 3D printed plastic cages and have since acquired several of those. They aren’t custom-made, but still fit very well and feel very comfortable for long-term wear. My advice is to start with plastic. You can always transition to steel later once you’ve mastered wearing a device for lengthy periods. And you may decide you like plastic, anyway.
My Current Beginner Device Recommendations
The beginner cages I now recommend for beginners are the Kink3D Cobra and the House of Denial Hera. Both are 3D printed from high-quality nylon material. I consider them equal in quality. Neither is cheap, but the Hera (about $125 USD for all sizes) costs a little less than the Cobra (about $170). Kink3D offers an excellent sizing chart on the website, and House of Denial gives exact measurements on the website. So, it’s easy to find the right size using the measurements you take before ordering.
Yes, the internet is awash with cheap counterfeit Cobras by foreign manufacturers available on sites like Amazon, Etsy, and eBay (and many others) who have copied the Kink3D design. I’ve bought and reviewed a few of them in years past for the benefit of guys who just couldn’t afford the original, and got a few which were of reasonable quality and that fit well. But I no longer recommend buying knock-offs. The last one I bought was very poor quality and while advertised as 3D printed was actually molded resin. Despite the seller’s claims, you can’t be sure what material they have used and you can’t count on it being hypoallergenic or bacteria resistant. It’s your decision, but buyer beware. I think you would be better off to save up for a Hera or authentic Cobra.
Once you’ve found a plastic device that fits and you know your cage length and base ring size, then you can confidently spend the $300 to $400 to get a high-quality, custom-fitted stainless steel device if your heart is still set on metal.
Can You Help Me Find a Dominant Woman?
Because the email I received included personal details and I’m committed to protecting the privacy of readers who ask questions, I’m only posting the pertinent details of this question from reader Steve…
I have searched for years to find a woman to dominate me and cuckold me. There has to be someone that would spend time with me. Any help would be a blessing.
My assumption here is you are asking me for advice on how you can find this woman of your dreams who will dominate and cuckold you. In the email, you shared deeply personal circumstances that I feel sympathetic about. But my answer to the question is probably not what you want to hear. Still, I always strive to give honest and hopefully helpful answers to the questions readers send.
Given the personal details you shared with me, I believe your odds of finding the partner you seek through the usual ways we meet women, date, and form relationships are extremely low. Not zero, but definitely within spitting distance of zero. Your age is one factor I considered in making this assessment.
I believe your best bet for finding someone willing to explore your desires with you is to hire a professional instead of wasting time seeking a romantic relationship that’s unlikely to happen. Not that you couldn’t find someone to date, but the chances of finding someone to date interested in sharing the relationship you desire with you are very small. I’m familiar with the area where you live, having once lived in the same area for a while and know there are plenty of pro dommes doing business there. You shouldn’t find it hard to find one with an internet search.
Unfortunately, seeing a dominatrix is a luxury and isn’t cheap. Most charge around $300 per hour. Some charge a lot more. Also, while many do offer cuckolding services, it won’t be a true cuckolding experience with a pro. It will be much more of a voyeuristic than cuckolding experience, since you must be in an actual relationship with a woman for her to cuckold you. Maybe lower your expectations by omitting the cuckolding and focus on the domination aspects.
Again, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I’m certain, given your circumstances, seeing a professional domme is the most realistic option.
Punishment Pins Question
The third question I received this month was about punishment pins, sometimes called anti-pullout pins. Specifically, the reader was interested in knowing more about the punishment pins that Mature Metal offers as an option with the Jail Bird chastity device. I’ve already replied to the reader by email, but it occurred to me pullout pins aren’t something I’ve ever covered on the blog.
Actually, I have never used punishment pins with a chastity device. To be honest, that’s because I’m not interested in using them. But pcguy at Thrill of the Chaste has, and he’s written several posts about his experiences, beginning here for anyone interested. Besides those posts, I’ve also read about the experiences others have had using the pins in various chastity forums.
The Mature Metal punishment pins come in three sizes (short, medium, and long) with three tip options (blunt, crisscross, and spike). Based on what I’ve read, the short pins are tolerable but the longer ones can cause significant discomfort when the cage contents attempt to get hard. I doubt any of them are tolerable for extended periods of time, as one guy mentioned he couldn’t sleep with the pins in because it made nocturnal erections very painful.
Just from looking at the images on the MM website, I’d worry the spike pins could possible break the skin, which wouldn’t be good. And I read other guys saying the pins caused bruising and sore spots when they used them for only a few days. Lastly, I read an online article that said punishment pins could potentially cause nerve damage. None of that sounds fun to me so I’ll take a miss on using punishment pins.