mail call Archives - Cut to the Chaste

Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions December 2023

By Chaste on Tuesday, December 12, 2023

It’s time for the December 2023 edition of Mail Call, where I answer reader submitted chastity related questions.

This month, I’ve received three questions from readers about things I think might hold interest for our wider audience, so let’s get to them.

Hasn’t Quite Cracked the Right Fit and Style for Long-Term Wear

This question comes from reader ML…

Hey,
I’ve been a (not very great) chastity user for around 6 years now. Unfortunately, due to cost and difficulties finding a comfy fit, I’m still yet to wear one for more than 4 days. It’s great to see blogs and info on people who really enjoy wearing them too! I’ve mostly got on with metal ones. But want to figure out an affordable option for a light but secure material for longer term wear. What advice would you have for someone who still hasn’t quite cracked the right fit and style in finding one? My concern is I’ll spend big money on one. But the money will be wasted due to the fit not being quite right.
Any advice welcome! Stay locked!

There are two main reasons guys never get past wearing a chastity device comfortably for more than a few days—trying to go from zero to hero too quickly or not spending the time to take proper measurements before buying a device.

Given the vast number of relatively inexpensive devices available today that offer a reasonable fit (except for guys with some physical anomaly that prevents them from wearing a ball-trap device), I believe anyone who wants to can adjust to wearing a chastity device long-term. They just have to find a well-fitting device within their budget and give their body enough time to adjust to wearing it.

Patience Grasshopper

We’re all unique. Some of us have more sensitive skin than others. Some of us have lower tolerance for discomfort than others. So, there is no way I or anyone can offer a one-size fits all solution to the question: how much time does it take to get accustomed to wearing a chastity device comfortably?

I don’t have overly sensitive skin and I rate my tolerance for discomfort as average. Under the guidance of a very experienced and knowledgeable professional keyholder, I went from putting on a chastity device for the first time to wearing in 24/7 in two weeks. But that won’t work for every guy.

I’m confident this 3-week schedule for beginners I recently updated will work for most guys. But if you try it and experience excessive chafing, broken skin, or pain, then customize the recommended schedule by dropping back a step and giving it a few more days or another week at that step before advancing to the next step again. Of course, you’re never going to adjust to wearing a poorly fitting device.

Measure, Measure, Measure

Don’t skip the measuring step before ordering a chastity device. Yes, those who have followed this blog for a while probably think I sound like a broken record. But I can’t stress enough how important measuring is to getting a good fitting device. You can probably find a thousand different ways to measure for a chastity device on the web. If you’re looking at getting a particular device and the manufacturer gives measurement instructions, by all means, use those. But as far as generic instructions go, this method is as good as any and better than most.

First, using a ruler or measuring tape, Measure your penis when flaccid (not shriveled) and at its smallest. Take this measurement at least three times on three consecutive days at about the same time of day. Then either total the measurements, and divide by three or go with the shortest of the three as your flaccid length measurement. I like a tight fit, so I always subtract 3/4 inch from my final length measurement.

Measuring the circumference of your flaccid penis isn’t necessary unless you’re ordering a custom cage. That’s because manufacturers use a standard cage inside diameter aimed at the average. That will work for most guys, so I wouldn’t bother with this measurement if you’re getting an off-the-shelf device.

Measure for the base ring by measuring the circumference of an imaginary circle running across the top of the base of your penis where it meets your body and beneath your scrotum, and back to the top of your penis base. The best way is to use a length of string, roughly close to the thickness of a base ring. Wrap it over the base of the penis and beneath the scrotum. Pull it tight, but not so tight that it presses into your flesh. Mark the string where the string overlaps on the top of your penis base. Then measure that length with a ruler or tape measure. This measurement is the circumference of the imaginary circle, so you must divide the result by 3.14 (pi) to get the diameter of the base ring you need. As an example, your measurement is 6-1/4 inches. 6.25/3.14=1.99 inches. (Round up to 2 inches). Here is an even more accurate method to determine base ring size.

Chastity device manufacturer Mature Metal sells a set of nine plastic sizing rings for $30 with sizes ranging from 1-1/8″ to 2-1/8″ and this is an excellent investment if you want to get the exact size base ring needed. Just experiment until you find the ring size you can comfortably wear and that doesn’t restrict blood circulation. Many manufacturers only supply one ring with a device, so you need to get this right the first time to avoid spending more money to get a different size if you get it wrong.

Metal or Plastic?

With your measurements in hand, you first must choose between metal and plastic. When I first started chastity, I only wanted stainless steel. And I have several steel devices, many of them custom-made devices. But I now prefer 3D printed plastic cages and have since acquired several of those. They aren’t custom-made, but still fit very well and feel very comfortable for long-term wear. My advice is to start with plastic. You can always transition to steel later once you’ve mastered wearing a device for lengthy periods. And you may decide you like plastic, anyway.

My Current Beginner Device Recommendations

The beginner cages I now recommend for beginners are the Kink3D Cobra and the House of Denial Hera. Both are 3D printed from high-quality nylon material. I consider them equal in quality. Neither is cheap, but the Hera (about $125 USD for all sizes) costs a little less than the Cobra (about $170). Kink3D offers an excellent sizing chart on the website, and House of Denial gives exact measurements on the website. So, it’s easy to find the right size using the measurements you take before ordering.

Yes, the internet is awash with cheap counterfeit Cobras by foreign manufacturers available on sites like Amazon, Etsy, and eBay (and many others) who have copied the Kink3D design. I’ve bought and reviewed a few of them in years past for the benefit of guys who just couldn’t afford the original, and got a few which were of reasonable quality and that fit well. But I no longer recommend buying knock-offs. The last one I bought was very poor quality and while advertised as 3D printed was actually molded resin. Despite the seller’s claims, you can’t be sure what material they have used and you can’t count on it being hypoallergenic or bacteria resistant. It’s your decision, but buyer beware. I think you would be better off to save up for a Hera or authentic Cobra.

Once you’ve found a plastic device that fits and you know your cage length and base ring size, then you can confidently spend the $300 to $400 to get a high-quality, custom-fitted stainless steel device if your heart is still set on metal.

Can You Help Me Find a Dominant Woman?

Because the email I received included personal details and I’m committed to protecting the privacy of readers who ask questions, I’m only posting the pertinent details of this question from reader Steve…

I have searched for years to find a woman to dominate me and cuckold me. There has to be someone that would spend time with me. Any help would be a blessing.

My assumption here is you are asking me for advice on how you can find this woman of your dreams who will dominate and cuckold you. In the email, you shared deeply personal circumstances that I feel sympathetic about. But my answer to the question is probably not what you want to hear. Still, I always strive to give honest and hopefully helpful answers to the questions readers send.

Given the personal details you shared with me, I believe your odds of finding the partner you seek through the usual ways we meet women, date, and form relationships are extremely low. Not zero, but definitely within spitting distance of zero. Your age is one factor I considered in making this assessment.

I believe your best bet for finding someone willing to explore your desires with you is to hire a professional instead of wasting time seeking a romantic relationship that’s unlikely to happen. Not that you couldn’t find someone to date, but the chances of finding someone to date interested in sharing the relationship you desire with you are very small. I’m familiar with the area where you live, having once lived in the same area for a while and know there are plenty of pro dommes doing business there. You shouldn’t find it hard to find one with an internet search.

Unfortunately, seeing a dominatrix is a luxury and isn’t cheap. Most charge around $300 per hour. Some charge a lot more. Also, while many do offer cuckolding services, it won’t be a true cuckolding experience with a pro. It will be much more of a voyeuristic than cuckolding experience, since you must be in an actual relationship with a woman for her to cuckold you. Maybe lower your expectations by omitting the cuckolding and focus on the domination aspects.

Again, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I’m certain, given your circumstances, seeing a professional domme is the most realistic option.

Punishment Pins Question

The third question I received this month was about punishment pins, sometimes called anti-pullout pins. Specifically, the reader was interested in knowing more about the punishment pins that Mature Metal offers as an option with the Jail Bird chastity device. I’ve already replied to the reader by email, but it occurred to me pullout pins aren’t something I’ve ever covered on the blog.

Actually, I have never used punishment pins with a chastity device. To be honest, that’s because I’m not interested in using them. But pcguy at Thrill of the Chaste has, and he’s written several posts about his experiences, beginning here for anyone interested. Besides those posts, I’ve also read about the experiences others have had using the pins in various chastity forums.

The Mature Metal punishment pins come in three sizes (short, medium, and long) with three tip options (blunt, crisscross, and spike). Based on what I’ve read, the short pins are tolerable but the longer ones can cause significant discomfort when the cage contents attempt to get hard. I doubt any of them are tolerable for extended periods of time, as one guy mentioned he couldn’t sleep with the pins in because it made nocturnal erections very painful.

Just from looking at the images on the MM website, I’d worry the spike pins could possible break the skin, which wouldn’t be good. And I read other guys saying the pins caused bruising and sore spots when they used them for only a few days. Lastly, I read an online article that said punishment pins could potentially cause nerve damage. None of that sounds fun to me so I’ll take a miss on using punishment pins.

mail call

Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions November 2023

By Chaste on Saturday, November 18, 2023

It’s time once again to dig into the mailbag and to respond to the inquiries sent in by readers in this month’s edition of Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions.

This month, we received questions from two different blog followers about the same issue which suggests their chastity device related issues are something that may apply to our wider audience. Today we’re discussing the appearance of sores on the penis while wearing a chastity device and how to prevent them.

Here is the first email sent in by a reader named Jerry…

I have been using chastity cages for about 7 years but come upon the same problem every time I go for long periods. When I pee (sitting of course) some gets on /in the cage and I get sores, how can I prevent this?

Reader Ray wrote in with a similar issue…

Hello
I recently came across your website and find it very insightful & informative. It is nice to hear from a real living person of their experiences with a chastity device rather than just the marketing material on all the websites. Thank you.
I am very interested in buying a new metal cock cage that provides:
1. Ultra comfort for long-term use
2. Maximum security to prevent escape
My current metal cage is a “Jailhouse metal locking device”. I like the design that provides total enclosure of the penis, however, having worn this continually for 7 days and then taking it off (for a medical appointment) the top of my penis had 2 x cut marks (around the spacing section). The left side of the penis also had early signs of an infection of the foreskin. I shower daily and used Vaseline and baby oil to keep lubricated on a regular basis throughout the day.
So here is the request. I am hoping you can help me by providing me with:
A) 3 x recommendations for alternative metal device options that meet 1 & 2 above.
B) Any other ways to improve my daily hygiene to avoid cuts/infections?
Any feedback from you would be very greatly appreciated.

It’s always difficult to diagnose the specific problems individuals have when wearing chastity devices. Generally, readers who send in questions do a good job of describing their problem. But, not knowing them personally, I can’t, of course, know details about them that could shed light on the problem they share and seek a solution for. That’s the case with both of these situations, since the first thing I would want to know is the specifics of their hygiene habits.

I will do the best I can with what information I’ve got to work with it, but the truth is many things cause sores on the penis. Yet, with wearing chastity devices, poor hygiene habits are always the likely suspect. Not to say these guys are lazy about cleaning their peens. The design of many chastity devices can often make it damn difficult to clean the contents thoroughly enough to prevent problems.

A Clean Peen Is A Happy Peen

A recent survey by The Derm Review, a comprehensive online resource on skincare products, cosmetic ingredients and beauty how to’s, reveals 60 percent of men are washing their penises all wrong (more on that later), and many are not doing it enough. Toss a chastity device into the mix and it exacerbates what can become serious problems from poor hygiene practices. So, someone getting sores or infections on their Johnson after wearing a chastity device should first ask themselves if they are cleaning their penis properly and often enough.

Penis Washing Frequency

The consensus opinion of medical professionals is that we should wash our penis once each day. Some respondents to the survey I referenced reported they washed their penis at least twice a day. But this is a case where more is not always better. Washing too often can cause irritation, dryness, and itching. Still, not washing enough is worse than washing too often.

Infrequent washing results in unpleasant odors and makes your junk a natural breeding ground for bacteria that can cause painful sores and bacterial infections. Trapped urine, leaking semen, and the normal sloughing off of skin cells that also get trapped inside a chastity device contribute to these problems. A thorough cleaning once a day is the perfect frequency, medical professionals say. They also recommend using only warm water and shower gel or soap that is not heavily perfumed, which can cause allergic reactions. Be sure to wash the tip of your penis and, if you’re uncircumcised, pull back and clean beneath the foreskin. Obviously, that’s hard to do while wearing a chastity device, but it is possible (though not easy to do) with the use of cotton swabs.

While Jerry didn’t share what type of device he usually wears, Ray says he has worn a “Jailhouse metal locking device.” From his description of the device as one with a tube that encloses his penis completely, I think he may have described the very first chastity device I tried and found completely unsatisfactory. I didn’t get any sores from it, but I only wore it for a few days before discarding it. Ray’s device evidently worked for him well enough that he wore it continuously for seven days and then discovered the sores when he removed it. My first inclination is that Ray experienced a hygiene related problem, which is common with fully enclosing tube style cages.

While I don’t know what type of cage Jerry usually wears, he mentioned wearing chastity devices for the past seven years. So, I suspect his problem with sores is probably also related to hygiene issues. The longer we’ve worn chastity devices, the more prone we can become to not spending as much time and effort as is necessary to clean our junk properly. Anyway, my advice to Jerry and Ray is to first focus on proper washing and see if that solves their problem. If no improvement happens, then it’s probably time to see a doctor for a professional diagnosis.

Proper Chastity Hygiene Solutions

I know some people prefer the fully enclosing tube type cages. I have a few of them and I do enjoy the sensations the devices provide. But in the interest of good penis health and spending less time making sure I have washed thoroughly, I gravitated to the open-type “birdcage” devices. This means I spend less time in the shower washing and it’s less complicated. But here is my advice to those who prefer the tube type devices. Remove the devices at least every three days so you can wash your penis and clean the device thoroughly. And then dry your junk completely, including the tip beneath your foreskin if you’re uncut and the device before putting it back on.

Yes, I know it feels like a pain to unlock and lock every three days. But I think it’s an inconvenience you just must live with if you choose to wear a fully enclosed device. If you don’t want to do it, then it’s an easy fix. Get an open-style cage instead. There are plenty to choose from in both stainless steel and plastic. My two 3D printed devices, the Cobra and the Hera, both have sufficient openings to allow me to get a fairly thorough cleaning in the shower each day with no special equipment. Still, if I’m self-locking, I remove the device once a week to clean it and give myself a good scrubbing. That can be inconvenient when a keyholder is enforcing my chastity, so instead of removing the device, I use another technique to make sure I get an extra-thorough cleaning once a week.

The Squeeze Bottle Method

I found a cheap plastic bottle at a local dollar store that does a great job of helping me keep the cage contents tidy. First, I fill the bottle with some Dove fragrance free body wash and warm water. I spray the soapy solution into every nook and cranny of my cage. And then I use cotton swabs to scrub the contents of the cage as best I can. Once I’ve finished, I rinse the bottle thoroughly with warm water, fill it with plain warm water, and then again spray the water inside all the openings, including the top of the cage next to my abdomen. Usually I use two full bottles of plain warm water to make sure I’ve rinsed all the soap from inside the cage. Then after toweling dry, I use a blow dryer on low heat to dry the contents of the cage. Your junk does best when you keep the environment clean and dry. That’s why I don’t recommend using products like Vaseline or baby oil inside the cage. I only use a dab of baby oil inside the base ring when putting on the device.

Once You’re Confident You Are Washing Properly and Washing Daily

I’m not a doctor and don’t play one on television, which is why I would suggest only giving things a few days to a week for sores after making sure I was washing properly and daily to see any improvement. If the sores aren’t healing, it’s time to get professional help. Go see your doctor. Also, with infections, I’d recommend seeing a medical professional immediately before things get worse. That’s because poor hygiene practices and wearing chastity devices aren’t the only things that cause sores and infections of the penis. Things like undiagnosed diabetes, STIs, and skin disorders like psoriasis can also cause genital sores and infections, nothing you want to mess around with.

Chastity Device Recommendations

Both Jerry and Ray asked for chastity device recommendations, so I’ll end with that. First, I always recommend open “birdcage” type cages over the enclosed tube styles for continuous wear. It’s just easier to keep things clean and to avoid the issues you are experiencing. Second, I’m not a fan of cheap off-the-shelf chastity devices. We’ve probably all gone that route when we couldn’t justify the spend for a quality, custom-fitted stainless steel device. But if you intend to practice long-term chastity, invest in a quality cage.

The Mature Metal Jail Bird is one of my favorite stainless steel options. But the device offers only two locking options, padlock or security set screw. If you prefer the internal barrel lock system instead, I recommend Badassworkroom devices like my BA-21. The prices for the Jail Bird and the BA-21 are about the same. For a less expensive off-the-shelf option, a 3D printed device is a great choice. I love both my Cobra N and Hera. The nylon material and finishing used in both cases is hypoallergenic and bacterial resistant. I’ve worn the Cobra for multiple months without removing it with no problems and expect the same would be true of my Hera XS. I just haven’t had it long enough to find out yet.

Hopefully, that helps both Jerry and Ray and anyone else who may be experiencing similar problems.

mail call

Male Call: Chastity Related Questions October 2023

By Chaste on Monday, October 30, 2023

Welcome to another edition of mail call where I give my best answers to chastity related questions blog readers have sent me. When a question is specific to the person who asks it, I respond by email. But when I get the same question from more than one reader or it’s something I think might apply to others, I answer the questions here during mail call.

Here are questions I’ve received during the past month from readers. I’m always happy to get your questions and hope you find my answers useful.

Ever thought about being a keyholder yourself?

I received this question from three different readers during the past month, and I actually get this question often. No one asking has ever identified their sexual orientation. But to be fair, everyone has only asked whether I’ve ever thought about becoming a keyholder myself in this generic sense. They haven’t asked me if I’d consider becoming their keyholder, so sexual orientation isn’t really germane. And frankly, sexual orientation wouldn’t be an issue, anyway.

I’m sure there are plenty of guys who might be open to having another male as their keyholder, whether they identify as straight, gay, or bisexual. And they probably wouldn’t care how the keyholder identified either.

A friend I have on Fetlife who is gay once asked me if I’d consider keyholding for him, and he knows I’m het. I considered it briefly because he’s a great guy I have lots in common with and enjoy having as a friend and conversing with regularly. Like me, he prefers having a remote keyholder and was having trouble finding one since he specifically was looking for a male keyholder. Ultimately, I decided against it for two reasons.

As said, I am straight. Please don’t hate me for my hetness. It’s just the way I am and I can’t do anything about it. I’ve known pretty much since puberty that I wasn’t gay because I’ve always felt such a strong sexual attraction to females. I love every single thing about a woman’s body and that’s what turns me on. But there was a time in my life I sort of wished I was bisexual.

The idea of men having sex with men has never been something I found weird or unnatural, and obviously bisexual men get to enjoy a much wider experience of their sexuality than I do as a straight guy. And like many other men, I’ve something fantasized about sexual scenarios involving men, but I never acted on it. I never explored bisexuality, mostly because no opportunities presented themselves and I never actively sought such opportunities. But I tried exploring it after a fashion through watching guy on guy porn.

What I discovered was I simply feel no sexual attraction to other men. Watching guys having sex with each other is interesting on many levels, but it just doesn’t arouse me. I can look at an attractive guy and appreciate that he is an attractive human being, but it doesn’t produce any desire to have sex with him. But show me an attractive woman and it’s a whole different story.

That’s a long lead in to the first reason I declined the opportunity to key hold for my friend. I love having him as a friend, but I’m not attracted to him sexually and except for relationships with pro keyholders, I think the sexual bit is an important part of the whole dynamic. The lack of sexual tension, I believe, would have made keyholding for my friend less than an enjoyable experience for both of us. For example, I wouldn’t have enjoyed teasing him and making his dick get hard and strain inside his cage because it just wouldn’t have turned me on.

Here is the other reason. During my salad days in the BDSM community, I believed I was a dominant, and I had relationships with several submissive women. I knew how to behave as a Dom and I had technical skills. All those women saw me as a Dom and I think we all had some great experiences together. But whenever I had been with a submissive woman for a few months, my interest in dominating her always waned. And soon what was supposed to be a D/s relationship became indistinguishable from a vanilla boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Then the relationship would end because that wasn’t what she was looking for. She wanted a Dom who dominated her.

After a while and a lot of soul searching, I came to understand something. I wasn’t a Dom. Actually, I had more of a submissive streak and had always known how powerfully I felt attracted to the dominant women I met in the community. So, I hadn’t dominated the submissive women I’d been in relationships with. I had only topped for them until I grew bored with it. I’m sure I would have felt the same way in short order had I agreed to key hold for my friend. That’s because I don’t want someone to submit to my control because my nature is submitting to the control of someone else. In the end, I would have grown bored with keyholding for him and he wouldn’t have got the experience he wanted and deserved.

So, for those who may have wondered, yes, I have thought about becoming a keyholder. But I never have because I know I’m not suited for it. It wouldn’t be enjoyable for me or for the other person. A man has to understand his limitations.

I have the Kink3D Cobra N like you, and while I really like it, also like you, I’d love to try the Baby. But I just can’t justify the spend. What have you got instead of the Baby and do you like it?

This is another question I get frequently. I’ll answer it here, but with two caveats. Since I have never held a Kink3D Baby Cobra in my hot little hand, I can only offer my best guess on how the similar device I bought instead of the Baby stacks up. And, because of Locktober and Lucie’s wishes, I have only worn my alternative device for about twenty minutes, and that’s not a fair evaluation on which to base a valid comparison. That will change in about a week when I will give my new device, the Hera XS from The House of Denial, a proper wear test for a review. But here is my best guess.

Comparing the Cobra sizing advice published on the Kink3D website with the actual Hera measurements published on the House of Denial Website, I believe the Hera XS (extra small) model is probably very close to the same size as the Cobra Baby. But that’s only an informed guess. Still, I know the Hera XS is tiny, and forces my flaccid penis to turtle. I’m a fan of that, so I really love the fit.

As many of those who wrote to me stated, I would love getting a Kink3D Baby (if only to make a side-by-side comparison in my case). But like them, I just can’t justify the spend. As fine a device as the Cobra Baby may be, to me and it seems a lot of other guys it just isn’t worth $160. Since I already own a Cobra and have a base ring, I could order just the Baby cage, but I’m not even willing to spend the $120 required to get it.

Look, I get it. Kink3D is a private company. They have every right to charge whatever they want for their products and make as much profit as they can. I can afford to pay their prices, but I choose not to. Kink3D deserves to make a reasonable profit. They aren’t entitled to take advantage of their customers.

The Cobra is an excellent, high-quality device. But it’s a non-custom, off-the-shelf device that has already been widely copied. I would feel less guilt about buying a Cobra knock off than I’d feel buying a copy of virtually any other chastity device. That’s because the genuine 3D printed Cobra copies sell at tons of online sites for between $35 to $40. I don’t blame anyone who buys one of those inexpensive copies instead of forking over from $160 to $200 for a Kink3D original.

The Cobra has been one of the most successful chastity devices ever made, mostly because Kink3D got in on the ground floor of 3D-printed devices. 3D printers aren’t cheap, so it’s obvious the company wanted to recover the initial investment and start turning a profit as soon as possible. But I suspect they have long since recovered the original investment and the company now focuses on making as much profit as possible while the Cobra remains at the height of popularity.

Recently, Kink3D introduced the Fusion Pink model with the promise of more colors to come. And they boosted the price of the new colored models across the board by $40 and, depending on size, they go for $200 to $240. That adds more evidence to my maximum profit theory.

I have to believe that, eventually, Cobra prices will come down once everyone who wants a Cobra and will overpay for one gets a Cobra. Or in some cases, all the different Cobra models they want and are willing to pay for. Chastity and chastity devices are certainly more popular than ever, yet the number of guys into chastity still represents a tiny fraction of the total male population. In other words, it’s a limited market. Limited markets reach saturation. Kink3D won’t continue selling chastity devices at the current prices forever. So, I’m content to wait until prices fall to buy another Cobra, which they inevitably will. Until then, I’m jumping on the Hera train.

What I can tell you factually about the 3D-printed Hera, made exclusively for the House of Denial, is the quality of the device is every bit as good as that of the Cobra. The devices look similar at first blush, but there are significant differences. The Hera is not a copy of the Cobra. It’s an original design that in some respects is superior to the Cobra. One thing I love is the Hera’s much more generously sized urine outlet. And during my brief wear test, it seemed the gap of the Hera (distance between the base ring and cage) fit me much better than that of my Cobra N.

I like the Hera so much, I’ve already ordered the Hera S (small), the size I believe corresponds to the Cobra N, and this time I ordered a white one. I hope to get an accessory for my Hera soon similar to the Kink3D Cobra “Airlock” that allows you to use plastic, numbered locks directly on the cage and I know the House of Denial team is already working on that.

I saved $40 by buying the Hera XS instead of the Kink3D Baby. And I paid $50 less for the Hera S than the cost of my Cobra N. Extra Hera base rings are $10 cheaper than the Kink3D price, and you can buy just the Hera cages separately for $90, regardless of size. The larger the Hera you need for your size, the more you will save over a comparable Cobra model, since the Cobra price increase with each step up from the smallest to largest size. The Hera always costs the same, regardless of cage size.

Remember, the House of Denial is a UK company, so shipping cuts into your savings a little if you live outside the UK. I think I paid about $10 for the standard shipping, which isn’t much. And Kink3D charges for shipping too, though it’s a little less since they are a U.S. company. The bottom line is the Hera is a viable alternative to the Cobra, and costs less.

Like you, I prefer remote keyholders. You write so many wonderful things about Lucie. Why all the secrecy? Good remote keyholders are hard to find and I’d love to try her keyholding service. Can’t you tell me how to contact her or at least share how you found her?

Since I first introduced Lucie to blog readers, I consistently get questions similar to this one. It’s true. Lucie is amazing. She is the sixth remote keyholder I’ve used, and without doubt, the best keyholder I’ve ever had. Lucie is a professional. She runs her own business, both in real life and online, and she has a website that features her keyholding services. So, I’m not keeping her secret in a selfish attempt to keep her all to myself. Since I first met her, Lucie has been keyholding for lots of other guys, including her in real life boyfriend. I’ve never had her all to myself. Not even close. I gave her the pseudonym and don’t advertise her website on the blog because that’s how Lucie wants it. She has all the business she wants.

Lucie is a perfectionist and always aims to provide perfect keyholding services. Part of that in her view means limiting the number of guys she holds keys for at any given time. I respect that so much because obviously the more guys she takes on, the more money she could make. That shows Lucie isn’t just about the money. She actually enjoys dominating men and keeping them locked. Frankly, when I found her website, I just got lucky because she just happened to have an opening when I contacted her and applied. So, even if I had given out the link to her website as many have asked me to do, chances are she would have already had all the business she wanted already and wouldn’t have been available. Lucie gets a lot of repeat business and guys tend to stay with her once they find her.

It’s moot anyway at this point because, as I’ve shared, Lucie is stepping away from her online keyholding business for a while to recharge. She told me she has done this often in the past when she has felt burned out and isn’t enjoying keyholding the way she wants. And she says sometimes she doesn’t pick it back up for six months or even a year. So, Lucie won’t be available for the foreseeable future to anyone, not even to me.

I will share how I found her, because that was down to luck as well. I frequently do web searches for online keyholding just to stay abreast of what is available. But even though Lucie has had a website for a long while, not once did it ever come up in any of my searches. One day, almost six months ago, I was perusing a chastity thread on Reddit that I follow off and on, and that’s where I found the link to Lucie’s website. The rest, as they say, is history. Checking out the chastity threads on Reddit isn’t a bad place to look for a keyholder. I’ve talked to several guys who found their keyholders on Reddit.

Believe me, I fully understand how difficult it is to find a good remote keyholder, especially at a reasonable price. I’ve searched since last week for a potential replacement for Lucie since I know I don’t want to go six months or a year without a keyholder while Lucie is on sabbatical. I’ve noticed several things.

First, there aren’t nearly as many professionals offering online keyholding since the pandemic ended. Most pro dommes are now focusing on the more lucrative in person sessions. The last two I reached out to that still listed remote keyholding on their websites didn’t even bother to reply. I suspect they don’t do it anymore and just haven’t updated their websites.

The second thing I’ve noticed is professional dommes who do still offer remote keyholding have increased the price of tributes significantly. I’ve seen many who expect $300 to $500 per month. Lucie asked for significantly less than the smaller end of that scale, even when we first started and I was paying the standard rates. And where Lucie gives personalized teasing and lots of it, those charging the $300 to $500 per month promise only to do daily check ins and to send you an occasional text, email, or sexy photo. That’s the extent of the teasing they offer. If you want more than that, you must pay by the minute for video or Skype calls and that gets expensive quickly.

Finally, the third thing I’ve noticed is most of the professionals offering remote keyholding have migrated to the fan sites like Loyal Fans, Only Fans, etc. Some of those I’ve looked at seem legitimate pro dommes. But on those sites, tributes are the name of the game. These women won’t waste their time on guys who don’t consistently pony up the tributes.

Many of them offer remote keyholding at weekly or monthly tribute rates. But then they will nickel and dime you to death for supplementary tributes along the way and also probably pressure you to buy their video clips or stuff off their various gift lists. One woman I talked to who seems professional and very knowledgeable about chastity keyholding and tease and denial told me she expects daily tributes for her time from men she key holds for and requires them to pay the monthly subscription fee to access the premium content on her fan’s page. I could imagine you might spend as much or more than what the true professional dommes charge via their own websites.

I have no problem paying tributes for professional keyholding. Realistically, it is the only way to serve a distant keyholder online. And, I’m not cheap. I don’t haggle over the prices and I always tip generously for great service over and above the agreed tribute amount. But I have in mind the maximum price I’m willing to pay and it doesn’t approach $300 to $500 a month.

Well, there you have my answer to the questions about Lucie, plus I’m throwing in the extra bit about the difficulty of finding a good remote keyholder at a fair price, all at no extra cost.

That’s concludes this edition of mail call. Have a chastity related question you can’t find an answer to? Send it to me and I’ll try to answer it for you.