July 2023 - Cut to the Chaste

Life In the Fast Lane

By Chaste on Thursday, July 27, 2023

“Life in the fast lane

Surely make you lose your mind.”

– Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”

Guys! Guys! Can you believe it? It’s only two days and a few hours until the end of Chastity 90! Well, at least for me and anyone who took up the challenge when I did back on the first day of May. If you did, or if you started the challenge a little later as I know a few guys did, I hope you’ve been successful. I suppose I have no reason to celebrate since, according to Lucie, I won’t be getting a release any time soon even when my Chastity 90 ends.

Speaking of Lucie, she has teased me with a vengeance since returning from vacation, giving me a task to complete every single day. It’s life in the fast lane. I suspect she wants me to suffer as much as possible until the end of Chastity 90. Of course, she is only making it more enjoyable and making the days pass faster by keeping my arousal level peaking continuously.

My dedication to completing the task list she left me before going on vacation impressed Lucie. She has “rewarded” me by telling me she will keep me locked a lot longer this time. For how long, I have no clue. Now that I’m accomplished with prostate milking, she is no longer concerned with making me unlock periodically for health and safety reasons. Lucie has also added another wrinkle to our relationship.

While I’ve been a distance runner since my junior high days, I’ve really slacked on working out for about the last year and a half. I blame it on the effects of the pandemic hangover. Slacking, combined with my love of beer and pizza has caused me to develop something of a belly. Lucie has informed me she wants the belly gone. She says she doesn’t expect six-pack abs, but does expect a flat belly. She even sent me a workout schedule and told me to consider it a task and it’s not optional.

To start, it was all aerobic with three days of running and two days of cycling with gradually increasing distances for both. But she added some weight training to the mix after the second week ended. I’m happy to do what she wants; even grateful she has taken an interest in helping me drop some weight and get fit again. Since I haven’t had the motivation to lose weight and improve my fitness lately, I appreciate that Lucie is now providing me some motivation. Fair is fair since I neglected to put forced exercise on my hard limits list. 🙂

Anyway, after less than three full weeks, I have already dropped a few pounds and lost more than an inch around my waist. Based on experience, getting rid of the beer gut will take some time. It seems belly fat is always the last to go for me. But it will happen eventually. Happily, Lucie hasn’t taken my beer away completely, just made me cut back. And she says she won’t take the beer away completely as long as I continue showing consistent weekly progress. I’m also grateful for that. After all, without beer, what’s the point to life?

I find it hard to believe Lucie and I have been playing together for almost three months. Back in May, when I decided I wanted a virtual key holder again for a while, I expected to do a month, maybe two, and then to go back to self-locking. But, oh my. I’ve had the privilege of having had several terrific key holders. But Lucie is definitely in a class by herself. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to self-locking. At least not as long as Lucie is willing to continue.

She has warned me from the start that there is only so much you can do virtually and sooner or later one or both of us will grow bored and we’ll have to stop. But I’m no where close to that and Lucie doesn’t seem to be either. The new fitness thing has given me a reason to hope that we will continue for the foreseeable future. That’s because it may not be optional for me to exercise, but it really isn’t just a task. It’s Lucie requiring greater commitment from me. Why would she want that if she was feeling bored? I dread the day it does end with us and being a realist, I know Lucie isn’t wrong. But after Lucie, I know I’ll never find another key holder that suits me so perfectly. I don’t obsess about it, but I hope Lucie doesn’t grow bored any time soon. I know I won’t grow bored with her. Like ever. She is that amazing as a Mistress.

enforced male chastity

Down the Enforced Chastity Submissive Rabbit Hole

By Chaste on Sunday, July 16, 2023

A survey conducted in Europe and the U.S. found that only ten percent of men preferred to be submissive to a partner. The majority preferred the dominant role, especially in the bedroom. What’s wrong with being a submissive man? Does a desire for enforced chastity mean you’re submissive?

It started with doing the thing she told me to do that I didn’t want to do. I knew doing it would not turn me on. I knew having to do it would make me angry. But even though I briefly considered arguing and even refusing to do the thing, I just did it. No, it didn’t turn me on, and yes, I was angry the entire time I was doing it. But when I finished the assignment, something struck me like a lightning bolt. For the first time in my life, I had authentically submitted to a dominant woman.

Oh, I have submitted to dominant women before, even long before I felt the attraction to chastity. But I’d only faked it to get what I wanted. It had only been role play. But this was different. I had truly submitted to Lucie and allowed her to bend my will to her will. And what surprised me the most was just how damn good it felt.

I have never believed that desiring enforced chastity means a guy is submissive. I don’t think anyone could make the argument that allowing someone to lock up your cock and keep the keys isn’t a textbook definition of a submissive act. But performing a one- off submissive act doesn’t make a person submissive. And I still don’t believe you must be a submissive man to desire having a keyholder lock your penis in a chastity cage and then make all decisions about when or if they unlock you.

We all have our reasons for wanting to experience enforced chastity. I believe there are guys without a submissive bone in their bodies who can still enjoy being “forced” to wear a chastity cage. But what Lucie taught me that day was an authentic dominant woman who knows how to push all the right buttons could access a submissive part of my nature that I had never believed existed.

Lucie didn’t coerce me or manipulate me into submitting. She had conditioned me over the weeks leading up to that moment of true submission to desire to please her more than I wanted to avoid doing a thing I knew offered no benefit to me and that even annoyed me. That is how dominance and submission works. With each predatory smile, she had drawn me in, deeper down the submissive rabbit hole. With each “good boy” she had spoken when I had completed a task she had assigned to her liking, I wanted to please her even more. Each time she raised me to new heights of horniness, I grew ever more addicted to the high of constant, intense arousal.

I will never feel submissive to every woman, not even every dominant woman. But I am submissive to Lucie, and I find it magically pleasurable and meaningful. She isn’t playing a role. Lucie is a Mistress, my Mistress, and she is in control. I want her to control. I want to see where it leads.

As I was finishing this post, Lucie texted to tell me she’s home from vacation. Then she texted something else.

“I know your Chastity 90 thing ends in two weeks. But there is something you should know. Just because you chose to remain celibate for 90 days doesn’t mean I plan to let you cum when it ends. I haven’t even thought about when I’ll let you cum. If… I let you.”

Oh my! That is just so freaking hot. And I’m so glad Lucie is back.

enforced male chastity

Is Male Chastity Just Plain Old Orgasm Denial?

By Chaste on Thursday, July 6, 2023

Is male chastity just plain old orgasm denial? Sometimes people who blog about male chastity, even those who are among the most experienced get things so wrong and I feel compelled to disagree.

Recently, I read posts from two different guys who blog about male chastity that I follow. Both said pretty much the same thing, and I feel compelled to go on the record here saying I disagree with what they both wrote.

I’m not throwing shade. I’m not naming names because that isn’t important. What is important is pointing out wrong thinking and why it’s wrong. I have tremendous respect for both guys who have practiced chastity a lot longer than I have and consider them both mentors of sorts even though I’ve never actually met either of them. But sometimes you can do a thing so long that you start to think you know way more about it than anyone else and anyone who doesn’t see the thing as you do is just wrong. Sorry, that kind of attitude is what’s wrong.

Do you know why I practice chastity by wearing a cage on my dick and why I find it so meaningful? I doubt that you do, even if you visit this blog regularly and the statistics Google makes available to me show this blog gets a lot of repeat visitors. So, what makes one person believe they can tell another person they don’t even know that chastity means only one thing and that applies universally. I’m more than certain these two guys know what chastity means to them. They should since they have been doing it as long as they have. But knowing what a thing means to you and looking at it through the lens you do, isn’t anything close to being some universal truth that applies to everyone else.

In the same way, I understand how I look at chastity, how I practice it, and why I practice it doesn’t apply to anyone but little old me. It would never occur to me to claim otherwise. Now, let’s delve into a few of those things I disagree with.

A Guy in Chastity Can’t Call Himself Chaste

Drilling down to the technical factual bedrock, the universally accepted definition of “chaste” is “abstaining from sexual intercourse.” Some who practice chastity for moral or religious reasons expand the definition to also include abstaining from masturbation. I have been pussy-free and proud since the end of my last relationship, which not uncoincidentally pretty much corresponds with when I first dipped a toe into the calming waters of male chastity. And for the lion’s share of time that I’ve worn cock cages, I have also abstained from masturbation. So, if I’m not chaste, just what they hell would you call it?

Without getting into the weeds on this issue, depending on whose opinion you subscribe to, there are now somewhere between 72 and 81 genders. And in the Western society we now inhabit, an individual can simply choose to identify as any gender that makes them feel most comfortable about their own body, that most closely aligns with how they perceive their sexuality, or that they feel most accurately meets their personal definition of gender nirvana. So, you’re going to tell me a guy in chastity can’t call himself chaste? Seriously? On what grounds and whose authority? That’s just fucking silly.

Being chaste isn’t like being a virgin. Once you lose your virginity, it’s gone, baby, gone. You aren’t getting that shit back. But you can be chaste whenever you’re abstaining from sexual intercourse and for some, masturbation, even if it’s only for a day or two or even a few hours. Chaste is freaking chaste. If you get laid or decide to wank and then later you get back into chastity and again abstain from sex, then you’re right back in the state of chasteness. You can enter it, leave it, return to it, whenever you wish. It’s nothing like getting your cherry popped.

It’s the Orgasm Denial Stupid

The second thing I read and disagreed with is we shouldn’t even use terms like chastity device or enforced male chastity because that isn’t the point of letting someone lock up your dick. The point is the orgasm denial, which enforces the power dynamic in a relationship that doesn’t allow the wearer to get pleasure from his penis. You aren’t chaste and you aren’t practicing chastity. I readily see how that’s how some guys see it. That a cock cage is just a tool used to enforce orgasm denial and it’s really the denial that powers the dynamic.

You can’t minimize the importance of the orgasm denial piece because without it, you likely couldn’t get a guy to wear a chastity cage even if you put a gun to his head. It’s the denial that produces all those touchy, feely hormone cocktails that make chastity pleasurable and that produces the bone crushing frustration that locked guys experience at times. But to use an analogy, denial is only the fuel, not the vehicle. The chastity device and the practice of chastity is the damn car and denial is only what powers it and makes it go. You don’t need a chastity device or even need to practice chastity mindfully in order to experience orgasm denial. Female doms were subjecting me to orgasm denial long before the first mass-produced crude chastity cages appeared on the scene. Spoiler alert. Denial works and feels exactly the same without a cage.

Those who see orgasm denial as the only point to wearing a chastity cage see the practice mostly as just another kink. Nothing wrong with that. But demanding everyone accept your perspective is simply ridiculous.

Enforced Chastity Doesn’t Exist

The last statement I’ll disagree with is the notion that enforced chastity doesn’t exist. Say what? The argument given is no one is actually forcing you to stay locked. You could remove the device even without the key anytime you wished, even if you had to use tools and destroy it. It isn’t enforced chastity because you have agreed to have your dick locked in a cage and at any time, you could just demand to be unlocked and say you didn’t want to play anymore. If all that is true, which it fucking isn’t, then what would be the point of having a keyholder? Why not just lock and unlock yourself whenever the mood struck. I guarantee you will get pretty much the same effects from orgasm denial if you’re self-locked as you get from someone else locking you and holding the keys.

Of course, this is and must be a consensual deal. If some random woman, a stranger, walked up to me and asked to lock my dick in a chastity cage, as a sentient being I’d probably politely decline. Probably. You sort of need to know a little about a person before you transfer that kind of power to them. So, yeah, you are only locked when you consent to it. But once you’ve reached an agreement with a keyholder and you’re locked, it gets real. You aren’t in control anymore, the keyholder is and they are damn well enforcing your chastity. Sure, you could cut the thing off or maybe even just find a way to slip it off and you could tell the keyholder you don’t want to play anymore. But as long as the game is afoot, you my friend are serving a stint in enforced chastity.

There were several other silly statements made in those blog posts I could take to task, but I won’t. I think I’ve made my point. You’re experiences and motivations are not my experiences and motivations. And neither are they likely anyone else’s experiences or motivations. So, take a step back and don’t try to tell me the “true meaning” of chastity, according to you. It only makes you look foolish. And, I will extend the same courtesy and won’t press you to accept my opinions as facts, because they’re not.

So, What the Fuck is Chasity About?

That, my friend, is completely up to you. If it’s about orgasm denial for you, that’s terrific. For other guys chastity can be about submission, pain, teasing, or even about bondage. In short, chastity is quite versatile. Chastity is the control of orgasm, and even more specifically, it’s the denial of orgasm. But it’s not just about denial. It’s a freaking perverted buffet.

Chastity requires some mental or emotional commitment. Otherwise, a mere plastic or steel device is never going to stop someone from removing it to gain sexual pleasure. Chastity cages are not magic. No device, even the most expensive meticulously fitted chastity belts are truly inescapable. With the motivation and perhaps a few power tools, a guy determined to escape and willing to destroy the device, if need be, will always escape. Chastity devices are actually more a symbol than anything else. They represent that mental or emotional commitment I spoke of. It’s a way to tell your keyholder you’re serious about chastity and giving up control.

I get far more from chastity, especially enforced chastity, than just the experience of orgasm control. If that’s all I wanted, I wouldn’t waste money on chastity devices. I love the submission to Lucie. I love the power exchange dynamic. And yes, I love how the denial provokes the production and circulation in my brain all those amazing chemicals that produce such pleasurable feelings. The truth is, ejaculation has never been my favorite part of sex or masturbation. What I love are those moments right before ejaculation. That’s the pleasure I crave, where I feel like I’m standing on a mountain peak at the edge of an abyss. And chastity helps me go there over and over again with no pesky refractory periods. Lucie can take me there whenever it strikes her fancy and it always strikes mine.

Chastity is about what it is about to you. Never let someone tell you what you should think it’s about or what you should believe it means. You’re an adult human. Think for yourself.

male chastity

Honor Chastity Revisted

By Chaste on Monday, July 3, 2023

While it is beginning to sound (and feel) a little redundant, it’s time for another episode of honor chastity revisted. So, in this post, I’ll also cover some other things.

Back to Honor Chastity. Again.

While I had felt cautiously optimistic that Lucie might allow me to finish Chastity 90 locked, it was not to be. After eighteen days this time, she surprised me this morning by telling me to unlock for 72 hours. And she surprised me again with a week-long self-teasing schedule for me to do while she is away on a two-week summer vacation that she left on this afternoon.

The schedule has a different assignment for each day of the week, and I will repeat it next week. That, according to Lucie, should keep my arousal peaking until she returns from vacation. And she didn’t want me to feel locked and forgotten when I’m re-locked in a few days.

I know from experience while self-locking that the effectiveness of self-teasing can feel less than optimum. But this feels different since Lucie created the assignments and, frankly, they seem quite interesting.

Other than the requirement to perform edges on two different days each week, none of the other tasks are things she has given me to do before. And, I appreciate she spent the time and energy to create something to help maintain my focus while she is away. Lucie had already told me not to expect our usual daily interaction while she was on vacation, so I’d had been dreading a Lucie-less fortnight. Maybe the assignment schedule will help the time pass more quickly.

Update on My Kink3D Cobra N Device Experience

After spending another eighteen days in my Kink3D Cobra N chastity device, I feel compelled to update my experience with it. Love. Love. Love it. This may be my favorite long-term chastity device ever.

As a die-hard stainless steel device fan since my salad days with chastity devices, I admit I once felt pretty dismissive of plastic cages. Some of the great resin cages I’ve tried out for reviews had slowly chipped away at my disdain for plastic devices, but I give full credit to Kink3D’s 3D-printed nylon device for winning me over. I still love the weight and feel of my custom-made stainless-steel devices, and I’ll wear those again sometimes. But the last eighteen days convinced me that the Cobra might be the best long-term device option currently available.

There are three things I demand from a chastity device for long-term wear: fit, comfort, and ease of maintaining acceptable hygiene. The Cobra earned high marks in all three areas during my 18-day locked period.

First, the device felt completely comfortable. Usually when I’m wearing any device, especially when I first wake up in the morning, I feel some slight discomfort where the base ring runs beneath my balls. I attribute this to the changes the testicles undergo when a penis owner becomes sexually aroused.

Researchers tell us the testicles increase in size (not quite double) and move closer to the base of the penis to prepare for ejaculation when desire becomes arousal. So, when a guy wakes up with morning wood (or the attempt at morning wood for those of us wearing a chastity device) the conditions are ripe for these changes to occur. The increased size narrows the “ball gap” and the barrier the ring provides that keeps the testicles from rising closer to the base of the penis combine to produce the uncomfortable feeling of tightness.

While I can’t say it is painful, I find it uncomfortable enough to find it annoying. So, usually, the first thing I do every morning when locked is to step into the shower and spray hot water on my balls with the handheld until the heat forces them to descend further from my body to maintain optimum temperature. Not once during the past eighteen days did I experience this discomfort while wearing the Cobra. I can’t explain why, but my morning shower routine became unnecessary. And that’s only one reason I found the Cobra so incredibly comfortable to wear.

Now, let’s talk about hygiene. By design, the Cobra cage is an open-style cage. It comes very close to how open my favorite stainless-steel devices are. That allows me to clean the cage and contents thoroughly using soap and my handheld shower head. And when I removed the cage after eighteen days, I detected none of the funky odor you get with chastity cages that are difficult to clean while wearing them. Also, the skin of my penis was in pristine condition with no dryness or other issues.

While the Kink3D “airlock” performed flawlessly, I found it nearly impossible to thread the “shackle” end of the plastic lock through the locking housing of the device after mating the cage and base ring. The plastic is very stiff and it resists bending to slip through the small hole at the end of the housing. When I searched the web for a solution I found only a video that suggested threading the plastic lock through backwards instead of the way intended. That was easier, but it leaves the printed numbers facing down instead of up where the keyholder can read them. I felt sure Lucie would not be impressed with that.

After some experimentation, I stumbled on a very simple, and easy solution. I’ll make a video instruction when I have time since I’m not sure how clearly I can explain it using only text. But, you thread the free end of the plastic lock along the airlock as usual. It lays in a small channel and the tip goes through a tiny hole at the far end of the plastic pin. Then you join the cage with the base ring, but only the tab portion at the top of the cage with the hole through it that fits into the center of the base ring receiver. Tilt the nose of the cage up slightly to keep the tabs on each side away from where they snap into the base ring. Then, clamping that center tab and the base ring receiver together with the thumb and index finger of your right hand, insert just the tip of the locking pin into the lock opening and thread the end of the plastic lock through the hole in the center tab with your left hand fingers. You can then easily grab the free end of the lock and pull it through the partially open receiver housing to where it needs to be. Then, snap the cage and base ring together properly and push the plastic locking pin completely into the receiver and you’re ready to lock. It’s incredibly easy to do this way while trying to do it the way many videos on the webs show it is nearly impossible. It isn’t so difficult when you’re holding the device in your hand like they do on the videos. But using that method when you are wearing the device is a different matter.

Male Call Addendum - Cherry Keeper Ball Gap Question

After publishing the “Mall Call” post last time, I received another question from a blog follower about Cherry Keeper chastity devices and I didn’t want to delay answering it. Nikos wrote to say he has decided he wants a Cherry Keeper device. But since he has “high and tight” balls, he is concerned about the width of the “ball gap” and wanted to know whether the manufacturer offers options for a device with the wider gap.

Thanks for the question, Nikos. You called the device you are considering “Cherry Picker” but I am assuming you meant “Cherry Keeper” since you referred to the review I posted on that device. I know some international manufacturers have copied the Cherry Keeper design and are now selling counterfeit devices, and one such manufacturer in China calls its device “Cherry Picker.” So, I can’t be sure whether you spoke of the authentic device designed by Josielynn Jewell that she sells through her Shapeways.com Josielynn’s Body Jewelry shop, or one of the copied devices. Nevertheless, what I can tell you would apply, regardless.

The design of the Cherry Keeper (and devices copying the original design) along with 3D-printing technology doesn’t allow for adjustments to the ball gap width. 3D-printing is not cheap. Profit comes from mass producing items based on a single design as it would be cost prohibitive to offer customization to individuals down to the level of ball gap width of a chastity device. Not to say there aren’t some variances of ball gap width. But the Cherry Keeper (and copiers of the design) rely on the same method as a company like Kink3D to offer narrower or wider ball gaps. Ball gap is a function of base ring size, which isn’t a perfect method.

The authentic Cherry Keeper now comes in about three dozen different models, all called “Cherry Keeper.” So, I just selected a representative model, the Cherry Keeper Standard. Here is a list of the ball gap measurements by base ring size.

Ball Gap Spacing (static):
36mm ring: 10.9 mm
38mm ring: 11.6 mm
40mm ring: 12.5 mm
42mm ring: 13.6 mm
44mm ring: 15.0 mm
46mm ring: 16.5 mm
48mm ring: 18.2 mm
50mm ring: 20.0mm

Source: Josielynn’s Body Jewelry

Here is why this isn’t a perfect method. Say you know a 40mm base ring is the perfect size for you, but you feel a 12.5 mm gap is too narrow for your physiology. To get a wider gap, you would have to try a larger than perfect-sized ring. Maybe the 42mm or 44mm, or something even larger.

The problem is, if you go too much larger than what is your optimum size, you may experience problems with a testicle popping out of the base ring when wearing the device. But if you truly need a wider gap, using a bigger ring than you actually want is the only solution.

My ideal base ring size is 42mm and so with the Cherry Keeper I get a 13.6 mm ball gap. That’s roughly 9/16 inch using imperial units of measurement. While that is a bit over 1/2 inch, I still find it works for me with the Cherry Keeper, even though I usually have ball-slippage issues with devices having a gap that wide. I too have high and tight balls and a 3/8 inch (9.525 mm) gap works perfectly for me.

Since I can’t imagine anyone has balls that are higher and tighter than mine, I’m curious how you know you need a wider gap than the usual set by the manufacturer? That’s because ball gap is impossible to measure, meaning measuring ourselves the way we measure length and girth of the penis and circumference of a circle around the penis base and behind the scrotum for base ring sizing. Personal experience, I imagine. Like I once tried a device with a 1/4 inch gap and within minutes, it felt like the base ring was crushing my balls. And I’ve tried several devices with a 1/2 inch gap and one of my testicles always popped out of the ring. After trying multiple devices with 3/8 inch gaps, I learned that was my ideal ball gap measurement.

Anyway, I’d suggest visiting the Josielynn’s Body Jewelry website, https://www.shapeways.com/shops/josielynn-s-body-jewellery and reviewing the specifications for the specific model you are interested in. If you’re considering a knock-off, then just take a look at the website and choose the model that looks most similar to what you’re thinking of getting. Those who copy designs from other manufacturers almost always buy and then reverse engineer an original they intend to copy. So, I have high confidence the measurements will be exactly the same. Then, if you believe you know your ideal ball gap, try a base ring size that’s closest to the gap width you need. The Cherry Keeper base rings are relatively cheap (around $20), so maybe try two or three to see what works best.

Month: July 2023