enforced male chastity Archives

Is Enforced Chastity a Thing?

By Chaste on Friday, November 10, 2023

I’ve used the term term “enforced chastity” plenty of times on this blog and never thought anything of it, until I recently read a post on another blog I follow. The writer of that post called into question whether enforced chastity is even an actuality. Is enforced chastity a thing? Here is what I think and why.

Recently, I read a post on a chastity blog I follow by a guy who has worn chastity devices and practiced chastity with his wife as keyholder for a lot longer than I have. And I’ve learned a lot from reading his blog. He wrote about a discussion taking place on another blog I’m not familiar with but that he follows, apparently. The discussion was about whether enforced chastity is an actuality.

While I couldn’t find it again, I’m pretty sure I read an older post on his blog where he opined there was no such thing as enforced chastity. He said he voluntarily wore a chastity device and was free to remove it whenever he wished, even if he had to use tools to take it off. So, in his view, his wife wasn’t forcing him to practice chastity. He did it voluntarily for his own reasons, as he assumed all guys do. He figures enforced chastity isn’t a thing since no one is getting forced to wear a chastity cage.

I can agree there isn’t any physical force involved. I’ve never had a keyholder wrestle me to the ground and lock a chastity device on my genitals, and I’ve never even heard of anyone claiming to have experienced such a thing. Although I admit it sounds kind of hot imagining it. But “forced” and “enforced” while similar terms don’t mean the same thing.

One key word found in the definition of “forced” is “involuntary.” One key word found in the definition of “enforced” is “compulsory.” Speed limits, as an example, are enforced. Observing speed limits isn’t optional. It’s compulsory. Exceeding speed limits can result in traffic tickets and fines, so we usually comply with them. It’s voluntary, of course. The state doesn’t put someone in the car with us to force us to obey speed limits. We do it voluntarily because we don’t want to waste money on fines or collect points on our driving record that would cause higher insurance premiums. Hopefully, that example helps show how forced and enforced aren’t identical terms.

Probably all of us who wear chastity devices and have a keyholder voluntarily put them on and handed the keys to a partner or other third party. Along with the keys, we gave them control over when we can remove the device and have orgasms. No one forced us to do that. We probably initiated it because we wanted to wear a chastity device and have someone else controlling us sexually. But once we handed over the keys and the control, for us, chastity became compulsory.

Technically, as the blogger pointed out, we can still remove the device anytime we want, even if we have to use tools to defeat the lock. But that would breach the contract we made with the keyholder. And just like getting a ticket and paying a fine when we get caught exceeding the speed limit, that breach would probably have negative consequences.

I suspect the blogger’s wife would be unhappy if he just took his chastity device off anytime we wanted without her permission. And he would likely experience unpleasant consequences as a result. With all the pro keyholders I’ve had, removing my device without permission would have meant the deal was off and I wouldn’t have had a keyholder any longer. That was enough of an unpleasant consequence to contemplate I never considered breaching the contracts I’d made. None of those women forced me into chastity or to continue practicing it, but each of them enforced my chastity. Yes, Virginia, there is enforced chastity, whether someone acknowledges it or not. Try not to overthink it.

Kink3D Black Friday Sale

I’ve often complained that Kink3d never has sales or offers customer loyalty discounts. So, when I caught the company’s Black Friday to Cyber Monday sale announcement on X, it seemed only fair to acknowledge it here.

The Black Friday to Cyber Monday sale starts at midnight PT (GMT-8) on November 24 and runs through November 27.

This sale includes a 20% off on:

All Cobra kits (cage + base ring + lock)
All individual Cobra cages
Black & Fusion Pink models
And other accessories sold on the kink3d website.

If you’ve been waiting to downsize, up-size, or get a new color, you won’t want to miss this rare opportunity to grab a Cobra device with a discount.

https://kink3d.com/

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

You Can’t Domme Without Feedback

By Chaste on Friday, August 18, 2023

One of Lucie’s many pithy pearls of wisdom is: “You can’t domme without feedback.”

The past five weeks since Lucie returned from vacation have been intense. She has kept me locked for 43 days, and thanks to my voluntary three-month period of celibacy when I committed to Chastity 90 back in May, I have not had a single orgasm, not even a ruined one, for 109 days. Lucie, now in full command since Chastity 90 ended, seems happy to keep me locked and orgasm free.

As part of our dynamic, Lucie requires me to submit a written report each Saturday since she feels you can’t domme without feedback. One requirement for the report is I must rate my perceived levels of sexual desire (horniness) and sexual frustration using a scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high). This week, I have been rocking a steady 5 in both categories. Truthfully, I can’t recall having ever been this horny, and this frustrated for such a sustained period.

Usually, after two weeks of wearing a cage, I sort of slip into cruise control where my arousal is above my normal baseline when I am not locked and denied, but my frustration levels off where it’s easily endurable. With Lucie, it doesn’t work that way.

Arousal has built quickly to escape velocity, using the parlance of rocket launches, and stays there. My balls never relax, like when the cruise control thing happens. Instead, they remain big and tightly pressed against the base ring, which is damn uncomfortable. And for two straight weeks, I have awakened each morning to attempted morning wood, pushing the cage as far from my body as the base ring allows. Not only that, I get attempted erections in the daytime for no reason, and sometimes leak with no apparent cause.

All well and good, since sexual desire feels amazingly pleasurable. But Lucie doesn’t care as much about that as she does about ramping up the sexual frustration level to excruciating heights. That’s more in keeping with her sadistic nature. “If you’re not suffering, it’s not submission.” She is far more apt to adjust her input when the feedback doesn’t show that I’m frustrated enough to suit her beautiful, sadistic mind than if my horniness level isn’t up to snuff. In a word, I’m suffering with no end in sight.

When I first contacted Lucie, I was only looking to spend a month locked by a keyholder as a change of pace from a steady diet of self-locking. That’s what I’ve always done in the past when I’ve engaged a professional keyholder. But things haven’t worked out that way with Lucie, and we’re well on our way to reaching the 4-month mark.

I’ve stayed locked for way over 43 days many times, but only once has a keyholder kept me locked this long before. That was my very first keyholder, who kept me locked for over sixty days. But she allowed me to have one ruined and one full orgasm during that time.

I do not know when Lucie intends to unlock me. Not a clue. But when we talked last Tuesday, I mentioned hitting 5 on the scales for both variables and all she said was, “Already? I suppose the coming weeks will be hard for you.” Sure, that was so hot when she said it. But sobering when I thought about it later. Weeks? Definitely more than one. But “weeks” could mean anything. Two weeks? Three? And there are 52 weeks in a year, perish the thought. Weeks could mean anything. Thankfully, she didn’t say months.

So, yeah, it’s getting real in Lucieville. But that’s okay. I absolutely love her. No, not in some creepy, besotted way. That isn’t the dynamic of our relationship. And the reason I prefer a pro over a lifestyle domme is I don’t want a romantic relationship. I only want an experienced, dominant woman to enforce my chastity. And Lucie is the most amazing keyholder and domme I’ve ever had. That’s why we’ve gone almost four months, and why I want to keep going.

I mentioned to her a week or so ago that I couldn’t help wishing for a more permanent arrangement with her. I expected her to remind me that isn’t what she does. But to my surprise, she said she has fun with me and unlike many she has held keys for, I’m not clingy or demanding and I understand the dynamic of our relationship. Then she said she would think about it.

Wow! I couldn’t have been happier. So, we’ll see what comes of it. I enjoy things as they are now, but I would love her to take more control and all the time, not just during negotiated periods. If she does that, I’ll never have to look for another keyholder and wouldn’t want to. Lucie is special, and you can’t replace that. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone who fits you perfectly. That’s Lucie for me. And you better believe I know how lucky I am.

enforced male chastity

Life In the Fast Lane

By Chaste on Thursday, July 27, 2023

“Life in the fast lane

Surely make you lose your mind.”

– Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”

Guys! Guys! Can you believe it? It’s only two days and a few hours until the end of Chastity 90! Well, at least for me and anyone who took up the challenge when I did back on the first day of May. If you did, or if you started the challenge a little later as I know a few guys did, I hope you’ve been successful. I suppose I have no reason to celebrate since, according to Lucie, I won’t be getting a release any time soon even when my Chastity 90 ends.

Speaking of Lucie, she has teased me with a vengeance since returning from vacation, giving me a task to complete every single day. It’s life in the fast lane. I suspect she wants me to suffer as much as possible until the end of Chastity 90. Of course, she is only making it more enjoyable and making the days pass faster by keeping my arousal level peaking continuously.

My dedication to completing the task list she left me before going on vacation impressed Lucie. She has “rewarded” me by telling me she will keep me locked a lot longer this time. For how long, I have no clue. Now that I’m accomplished with prostate milking, she is no longer concerned with making me unlock periodically for health and safety reasons. Lucie has also added another wrinkle to our relationship.

While I’ve been a distance runner since my junior high days, I’ve really slacked on working out for about the last year and a half. I blame it on the effects of the pandemic hangover. Slacking, combined with my love of beer and pizza has caused me to develop something of a belly. Lucie has informed me she wants the belly gone. She says she doesn’t expect six-pack abs, but does expect a flat belly. She even sent me a workout schedule and told me to consider it a task and it’s not optional.

To start, it was all aerobic with three days of running and two days of cycling with gradually increasing distances for both. But she added some weight training to the mix after the second week ended. I’m happy to do what she wants; even grateful she has taken an interest in helping me drop some weight and get fit again. Since I haven’t had the motivation to lose weight and improve my fitness lately, I appreciate that Lucie is now providing me some motivation. Fair is fair since I neglected to put forced exercise on my hard limits list. 🙂

Anyway, after less than three full weeks, I have already dropped a few pounds and lost more than an inch around my waist. Based on experience, getting rid of the beer gut will take some time. It seems belly fat is always the last to go for me. But it will happen eventually. Happily, Lucie hasn’t taken my beer away completely, just made me cut back. And she says she won’t take the beer away completely as long as I continue showing consistent weekly progress. I’m also grateful for that. After all, without beer, what’s the point to life?

I find it hard to believe Lucie and I have been playing together for almost three months. Back in May, when I decided I wanted a virtual key holder again for a while, I expected to do a month, maybe two, and then to go back to self-locking. But, oh my. I’ve had the privilege of having had several terrific key holders. But Lucie is definitely in a class by herself. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to self-locking. At least not as long as Lucie is willing to continue.

She has warned me from the start that there is only so much you can do virtually and sooner or later one or both of us will grow bored and we’ll have to stop. But I’m no where close to that and Lucie doesn’t seem to be either. The new fitness thing has given me a reason to hope that we will continue for the foreseeable future. That’s because it may not be optional for me to exercise, but it really isn’t just a task. It’s Lucie requiring greater commitment from me. Why would she want that if she was feeling bored? I dread the day it does end with us and being a realist, I know Lucie isn’t wrong. But after Lucie, I know I’ll never find another key holder that suits me so perfectly. I don’t obsess about it, but I hope Lucie doesn’t grow bored any time soon. I know I won’t grow bored with her. Like ever. She is that amazing as a Mistress.

enforced male chastity

Down the Enforced Chastity Submissive Rabbit Hole

By Chaste on Sunday, July 16, 2023

A survey conducted in Europe and the U.S. found that only ten percent of men preferred to be submissive to a partner. The majority preferred the dominant role, especially in the bedroom. What’s wrong with being a submissive man? Does a desire for enforced chastity mean you’re submissive?

It started with doing the thing she told me to do that I didn’t want to do. I knew doing it would not turn me on. I knew having to do it would make me angry. But even though I briefly considered arguing and even refusing to do the thing, I just did it. No, it didn’t turn me on, and yes, I was angry the entire time I was doing it. But when I finished the assignment, something struck me like a lightning bolt. For the first time in my life, I had authentically submitted to a dominant woman.

Oh, I have submitted to dominant women before, even long before I felt the attraction to chastity. But I’d only faked it to get what I wanted. It had only been role play. But this was different. I had truly submitted to Lucie and allowed her to bend my will to her will. And what surprised me the most was just how damn good it felt.

I have never believed that desiring enforced chastity means a guy is submissive. I don’t think anyone could make the argument that allowing someone to lock up your cock and keep the keys isn’t a textbook definition of a submissive act. But performing a one- off submissive act doesn’t make a person submissive. And I still don’t believe you must be a submissive man to desire having a keyholder lock your penis in a chastity cage and then make all decisions about when or if they unlock you.

We all have our reasons for wanting to experience enforced chastity. I believe there are guys without a submissive bone in their bodies who can still enjoy being “forced” to wear a chastity cage. But what Lucie taught me that day was an authentic dominant woman who knows how to push all the right buttons could access a submissive part of my nature that I had never believed existed.

Lucie didn’t coerce me or manipulate me into submitting. She had conditioned me over the weeks leading up to that moment of true submission to desire to please her more than I wanted to avoid doing a thing I knew offered no benefit to me and that even annoyed me. That is how dominance and submission works. With each predatory smile, she had drawn me in, deeper down the submissive rabbit hole. With each “good boy” she had spoken when I had completed a task she had assigned to her liking, I wanted to please her even more. Each time she raised me to new heights of horniness, I grew ever more addicted to the high of constant, intense arousal.

I will never feel submissive to every woman, not even every dominant woman. But I am submissive to Lucie, and I find it magically pleasurable and meaningful. She isn’t playing a role. Lucie is a Mistress, my Mistress, and she is in control. I want her to control. I want to see where it leads.

As I was finishing this post, Lucie texted to tell me she’s home from vacation. Then she texted something else.

“I know your Chastity 90 thing ends in two weeks. But there is something you should know. Just because you chose to remain celibate for 90 days doesn’t mean I plan to let you cum when it ends. I haven’t even thought about when I’ll let you cum. If… I let you.”

Oh my! That is just so freaking hot. And I’m so glad Lucie is back.

enforced male chastity

Is Male Chastity Just Plain Old Orgasm Denial?

By Chaste on Thursday, July 6, 2023

Is male chastity just plain old orgasm denial? Sometimes people who blog about male chastity, even those who are among the most experienced get things so wrong and I feel compelled to disagree.

Recently, I read posts from two different guys who blog about male chastity that I follow. Both said pretty much the same thing, and I feel compelled to go on the record here saying I disagree with what they both wrote.

I’m not throwing shade. I’m not naming names because that isn’t important. What is important is pointing out wrong thinking and why it’s wrong. I have tremendous respect for both guys who have practiced chastity a lot longer than I have and consider them both mentors of sorts even though I’ve never actually met either of them. But sometimes you can do a thing so long that you start to think you know way more about it than anyone else and anyone who doesn’t see the thing as you do is just wrong. Sorry, that kind of attitude is what’s wrong.

Do you know why I practice chastity by wearing a cage on my dick and why I find it so meaningful? I doubt that you do, even if you visit this blog regularly and the statistics Google makes available to me show this blog gets a lot of repeat visitors. So, what makes one person believe they can tell another person they don’t even know that chastity means only one thing and that applies universally. I’m more than certain these two guys know what chastity means to them. They should since they have been doing it as long as they have. But knowing what a thing means to you and looking at it through the lens you do, isn’t anything close to being some universal truth that applies to everyone else.

In the same way, I understand how I look at chastity, how I practice it, and why I practice it doesn’t apply to anyone but little old me. It would never occur to me to claim otherwise. Now, let’s delve into a few of those things I disagree with.

A Guy in Chastity Can’t Call Himself Chaste

Drilling down to the technical factual bedrock, the universally accepted definition of “chaste” is “abstaining from sexual intercourse.” Some who practice chastity for moral or religious reasons expand the definition to also include abstaining from masturbation. I have been pussy-free and proud since the end of my last relationship, which not uncoincidentally pretty much corresponds with when I first dipped a toe into the calming waters of male chastity. And for the lion’s share of time that I’ve worn cock cages, I have also abstained from masturbation. So, if I’m not chaste, just what they hell would you call it?

Without getting into the weeds on this issue, depending on whose opinion you subscribe to, there are now somewhere between 72 and 81 genders. And in the Western society we now inhabit, an individual can simply choose to identify as any gender that makes them feel most comfortable about their own body, that most closely aligns with how they perceive their sexuality, or that they feel most accurately meets their personal definition of gender nirvana. So, you’re going to tell me a guy in chastity can’t call himself chaste? Seriously? On what grounds and whose authority? That’s just fucking silly.

Being chaste isn’t like being a virgin. Once you lose your virginity, it’s gone, baby, gone. You aren’t getting that shit back. But you can be chaste whenever you’re abstaining from sexual intercourse and for some, masturbation, even if it’s only for a day or two or even a few hours. Chaste is freaking chaste. If you get laid or decide to wank and then later you get back into chastity and again abstain from sex, then you’re right back in the state of chasteness. You can enter it, leave it, return to it, whenever you wish. It’s nothing like getting your cherry popped.

It’s the Orgasm Denial Stupid

The second thing I read and disagreed with is we shouldn’t even use terms like chastity device or enforced male chastity because that isn’t the point of letting someone lock up your dick. The point is the orgasm denial, which enforces the power dynamic in a relationship that doesn’t allow the wearer to get pleasure from his penis. You aren’t chaste and you aren’t practicing chastity. I readily see how that’s how some guys see it. That a cock cage is just a tool used to enforce orgasm denial and it’s really the denial that powers the dynamic.

You can’t minimize the importance of the orgasm denial piece because without it, you likely couldn’t get a guy to wear a chastity cage even if you put a gun to his head. It’s the denial that produces all those touchy, feely hormone cocktails that make chastity pleasurable and that produces the bone crushing frustration that locked guys experience at times. But to use an analogy, denial is only the fuel, not the vehicle. The chastity device and the practice of chastity is the damn car and denial is only what powers it and makes it go. You don’t need a chastity device or even need to practice chastity mindfully in order to experience orgasm denial. Female doms were subjecting me to orgasm denial long before the first mass-produced crude chastity cages appeared on the scene. Spoiler alert. Denial works and feels exactly the same without a cage.

Those who see orgasm denial as the only point to wearing a chastity cage see the practice mostly as just another kink. Nothing wrong with that. But demanding everyone accept your perspective is simply ridiculous.

Enforced Chastity Doesn’t Exist

The last statement I’ll disagree with is the notion that enforced chastity doesn’t exist. Say what? The argument given is no one is actually forcing you to stay locked. You could remove the device even without the key anytime you wished, even if you had to use tools and destroy it. It isn’t enforced chastity because you have agreed to have your dick locked in a cage and at any time, you could just demand to be unlocked and say you didn’t want to play anymore. If all that is true, which it fucking isn’t, then what would be the point of having a keyholder? Why not just lock and unlock yourself whenever the mood struck. I guarantee you will get pretty much the same effects from orgasm denial if you’re self-locked as you get from someone else locking you and holding the keys.

Of course, this is and must be a consensual deal. If some random woman, a stranger, walked up to me and asked to lock my dick in a chastity cage, as a sentient being I’d probably politely decline. Probably. You sort of need to know a little about a person before you transfer that kind of power to them. So, yeah, you are only locked when you consent to it. But once you’ve reached an agreement with a keyholder and you’re locked, it gets real. You aren’t in control anymore, the keyholder is and they are damn well enforcing your chastity. Sure, you could cut the thing off or maybe even just find a way to slip it off and you could tell the keyholder you don’t want to play anymore. But as long as the game is afoot, you my friend are serving a stint in enforced chastity.

There were several other silly statements made in those blog posts I could take to task, but I won’t. I think I’ve made my point. You’re experiences and motivations are not my experiences and motivations. And neither are they likely anyone else’s experiences or motivations. So, take a step back and don’t try to tell me the “true meaning” of chastity, according to you. It only makes you look foolish. And, I will extend the same courtesy and won’t press you to accept my opinions as facts, because they’re not.

So, What the Fuck is Chasity About?

That, my friend, is completely up to you. If it’s about orgasm denial for you, that’s terrific. For other guys chastity can be about submission, pain, teasing, or even about bondage. In short, chastity is quite versatile. Chastity is the control of orgasm, and even more specifically, it’s the denial of orgasm. But it’s not just about denial. It’s a freaking perverted buffet.

Chastity requires some mental or emotional commitment. Otherwise, a mere plastic or steel device is never going to stop someone from removing it to gain sexual pleasure. Chastity cages are not magic. No device, even the most expensive meticulously fitted chastity belts are truly inescapable. With the motivation and perhaps a few power tools, a guy determined to escape and willing to destroy the device, if need be, will always escape. Chastity devices are actually more a symbol than anything else. They represent that mental or emotional commitment I spoke of. It’s a way to tell your keyholder you’re serious about chastity and giving up control.

I get far more from chastity, especially enforced chastity, than just the experience of orgasm control. If that’s all I wanted, I wouldn’t waste money on chastity devices. I love the submission to Lucie. I love the power exchange dynamic. And yes, I love how the denial provokes the production and circulation in my brain all those amazing chemicals that produce such pleasurable feelings. The truth is, ejaculation has never been my favorite part of sex or masturbation. What I love are those moments right before ejaculation. That’s the pleasure I crave, where I feel like I’m standing on a mountain peak at the edge of an abyss. And chastity helps me go there over and over again with no pesky refractory periods. Lucie can take me there whenever it strikes her fancy and it always strikes mine.

Chastity is about what it is about to you. Never let someone tell you what you should think it’s about or what you should believe it means. You’re an adult human. Think for yourself.

enforced male chastity

Don’t Say Yes

By Chaste on Saturday, June 17, 2023

Keyholders, don’t say yes, too easily or too soon. Sometimes when he begs you to unlock him, what he really wants is to hear you say no, repeatedly and without hesitation.

The secret fear of the chastity sub is that the keyholder may not have the will to keep saying no to the point where he can endure no more. He’s afraid she may unlock him too soon. He has picked her for his keyholder because she is a good woman. After all, it’s an intimate relationship, like any other. He wants someone who feels sympathetic, is kind, and caring. Who doesn’t want that in a partner? But can a woman like that really be the strict, implacable keyholder he craves? One who is indifferent to his whimpers, his half-suppressed appeals for mercy? Can she continue to relentlessly subject him to merciless teasing and the pains of denial?

Some women, especially those who accept the keys to a chastity device from a partner they are already in an intimate relationship with, find it hard not to say yes when he begs her to unlock him. Some even feel it’s cruel to keep him locked when he seems so miserable. After all, she loves him and finds it hard to watch him suffer especially when she feels responsible for his torment. Or perhaps she worries about his prostate health or his comfort. But a keyholder must have the mental strength to keep saying no when he begs, when he pesters her for release, when he whines how miserable the blue balls feel.

What the chastity sub needs is for the keyholder to overpower him, to force him to yield. He wants her to strip him of every last vestige of ego and resistance. He doesn’t want a keyholder who takes pity on him just because he complains about the frustration he feels or because he moans about the ache in his balls.

As the need and the frustration increases, a tension takes hold in his mind. Gradually it approaches the point where it seems unbearable. Soon he wants it to stop. He wants her to unlock him and allow him relief. And yet, and this is the true mystery, he doesn’t want her to say yes. He wants to see how much more he can take. He wants the sort of keyholder who might say to him, “No, I want you to remain locked for a while longer.” What he needs is a keyholder whose desire to keep him locked will ultimately prove stronger than his desire to suffer the frustration of no sex, no orgasms, no access to his penis.

Indeed, sometimes when he wants to stay locked in chastity, he will still beg her to unlock him and allow him respite. He is simply asking because he wants to her say no, without hesitation because he craves feeling her exert her control. And if he pesters her until she relents, he feels only disappointment. He wants to know she won’t say yes too soon, that she won’t let him off lightly.

Sometimes, in the cold light of day, he contemplates the full implications of his desires and feels a little frightened by it all. Surely, he doesn’t really want this. He needs a safe word. He needs her to clearly understand when he’s reached his limits. He needs to know he can bail out if it gets too tough. But there is a part of his mind that doesn’t want that at all. The thought that she might have the power and will to push him beyond what he can bear makes his head swim. It makes his dick throb within the confines of its unyielding cage and drool precum. When he handed her the keys, he wondered. “Have I finally met my match?” He hopes so. “Please,” he prays, “Don’t say yes when I beg.”

Yes, while he stays locked and suffers the pangs of need and frustration, he wants her sympathy, her soft caresses, and soothing words. Most of all he wants assurance she recognizes how much he is suffering for her. But right now, he doesn’t want release. He wants to plumb the depths of her cruelty. Make her unyielding. Make her relentless.

enforced male chastity

A Key Holder Who Gets You

By Chaste on Tuesday, May 16, 2023

While I’m grateful to every key holder I’ve had, there is just something magical about having a key holder who gets you.

Having practiced chastity for a while now, I’ve had several keyholders, all professionals and all remotely. And while I liked and respected them all and found our interactions satisfying and enjoyable, in every case, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on always seemed to miss the mark. When I thought about it, I naturally assumed it was the remote arrangement. After all, there is only so much that a person can give or receive virtually. The arrangement comes with its inherent limitations. Or so I always believed.

My new key holder is an exception to the rule I held previously. I’ll call her Lucie henceforth instead of referring to her generically as “my key holder” or “Mistress.” That’s not her true name nor her professional moniker, which also isn’t her actual name. But as part of our arrangement, we agreed to respect each other’s privacy, and she doesn’t permit me to use her professional name here or to reveal any specifics about our interactions.

Mistress Lucie’s view is that while she trades a real service for money, our interactions are still intimate and personal, and deserve to be treated accordingly. I agree with that and it feels good knowing she sees things the way she does. But back to the point I was about to make.

Yes, virtual interaction with a key holder has limits and will never be the same as interacting with a key holder face to face. But that doesn’t mean remote keyholding can’t feel very real. I know this now after only a week with Mistress Lucie. The woman knows what makes men tick sexually. And in the space of a week, she has already learned what makes me tick specifically. She uses that knowledge to tailor the teasing to my individual predilections to devastating effect.

After our session yesterday, I’m suffering the effects of the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had and am still impossibly horny. Yet on a scale of one to five, my feelings of sexual frustration are closer to zero than one. The heightened desire and arousal are so

amazingly pleasurable. And I’d never trade what I’m feeling right now for fleeting moments of jouissance. That’s because I’m feeling the purest pleasure of all. The pleasure of knowing I’m doing her will.

I don’t say this to disparage any of my past key holders, all of whom had their own impressive strengths, but I’ve experienced nothing close to what I’m experiencing now. The relationship dynamic between one who is locked and any key holder will always be unique. But in my estimation, Mistress Lucie is without peer. I’ll offer an example.

I’ve always been deferential to my past sexual partners. Giving them pleasure was always as important, if not more important, to me than my pleasure. I suppose I’m just wired that way. And the same has been true with my key holders. I wanted them to lock me, to own my penis, to decide when or if I got sexual release. But it was always vitally important to me they got something in return beyond the tributes I paid. I wanted to suffer for them, but I wanted them to enjoy making me suffer, if that makes sense. And I’ve found that true with Mistress Lucie like never before.

During our first conversation, she told me she was a true sadist and a few minutes later proved it to me if I had any doubts. I could see it in her eyes when she told me to do something I found quite painful. Mistress Lucie also told me she enjoys small penis humiliation (SPH) and CBT. We discussed that, and I admitted that neither were kinks I enjoyed, but I couldn’t honestly claim they were limits. So, both are part of our interactions because she enjoys them, possibly even more because she knows I don’t.

I submit to the SPH and CBT because it’s a way to show deference to her and to allow her to get something more from our interactions than just a tribute. Weirdly, because I know she gets pleasure from subjecting me to SPH and CBT, I get pleasure from it too precisely because it pleases her. Her pleasure becomes my pleasure. The SPH doesn’t harm my self-esteem since I know the size of my penis falls within the bell curve of average. And I can’t deny having her ridicule the size of my penis doesn’t make me twitch inside the cage. The same is true of the CBT, and to her credit, she keeps it a level she knows I can handle knowing pain isn’t my thing.

It feels truly amazing having a key holder who gets you. Not because she gives me what I need, but because with each passing day, my desire to serve her grows ever stronger. The longer we are together, the less inward my focus. The more I know her, the less the cage represents a constant reminder of my penis and what I’m giving up and more a symbol of her ownership. I’m grateful for that and for her.

The Air Lock Has Landed

I received the Air Lock from KINK3D yesterday. It works great, but I found it a little tricky getting the plastic numbered lock in place even while holding the Cobra in my hand. I’m wondering just how difficult it will be with the Cobra attached to my body.

The end of the lock must pass out through the little hole in the device lock housing on the left side. The problem is the plastic is so stiff that it resists making the bend to exit through the hole. Instead, it just bumps up against the interior housing. I had to coax it out with a toothpick, which would be much more difficult to do while wearing the device.

Lucie likes it and will allow me to wear the Cobra with the air lock when it suits her to let me change devices. Of course, no clue when it will suit her.

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

My New Professional Chastity Key Holder

By Chaste on Saturday, May 13, 2023

I’m not one to brag, but you’re probably curious about my new professional chastity key holder. Okay, fine. If you’re going to drag it out of me, anyway, I’ll brag on her just a little.

How shall I describe my new key holder? Stunning, sassy, elegant, mesmerizing, fascinating, and smart. Oh… and impossibly sexy. She is an exquisitely European Dominatrix who offers remote keyholding as a side gig. She is also a self-professed sadist with a penchant for cruelty and has already proven it to my satisfaction. But when she isn’t being cruel, she is quite charming and has a great sense of humor.

My key holder is strict, but eminently fair. Her tribute requirements (rates) are more than reasonable, far less than I have paid for professional keyholding in the past. And she has been worth every penny. Also, she doesn’t insist you buy her extras from some gift list to prove your devotion like many professional Mistresses do. Frankly, if I sat and contemplated every fantasy I’ve ever had to compile a list of qualities for my ideal Mistress, she would surpass anything I could have imagined.

Self-Locked Versus Enforced Chastity

I’ve seen it said many times online that self-locked chastity is useless. It’s stupid. If a person with that opinion is defining “chastity” as merely role play or a kinky sex game, I agree. Someone wanting chastity because what they actually want is tease and denial sex play will not get that from self-locking. But what many people don’t understand, even people I consider knowledgeable about chastity and chastity devices, some of whom even practice it on a permanent basis, is this. Wearing a chastity device or making your partner wear one can be a part of a pleasurable sex game. But chastity and tease and denial can be separate things.

I don’t self-lock because I crave tease and denial even though I have enjoyed it in the past. Instead, I practice chastity because I’ve found curbing my orgasms and ejaculations offers me many transforming benefits. Benefits I consider more valuable than frequent 5-20 seconds of pleasurable spasms. Self-locked chastity isn’t useless, and it isn’t stupid if you practice it for reasons like that. But make no mistake. The chastity experience is completely different when there is someone else enforcing it. When someone else is in control—actual control where they make all the decisions, the dynamic differs vastly from self-locked chastity.

Sometimes You Just Want a Key Holder

Sometimes, even though I find self-locked chastity very meaningful, I crave the experience of having someone else enforcing my chastity. Someone else in actual control. It’s the power exchange I find attractive. My desire for chastity and my goals don’t change just because I have a key holder. I’m still not pursuing tease and denial or some other sexy role play game. It’s still the valued benefits of practicing chastity I’m after. So, sometimes, I seek a professional who offers remote key holding services for a welcome change of pace..

As I shared in a previous post, when I recently wanted to experience chastity enforced by a key holder again, I started looking for one. I’ve had many professional key holders, but it isn’t a stable business model. People move into it and then out of it for many reasons. So, I’ve found you often can’t get a key holder you’ve had in the past because they have moved on to something else and aren’t doing it anymore. This time, for me, was no exception. So, I contacted three new professionals who advertised key holding services and just before I was ready to give up and throw in the towel, my new Mistress responded. And I feel more than fortunate she did after only the short time we’ve been together. I am sure she is the best key holder I have ever had.

Why a Professional Key Holder?

Although I have never experienced it, I can imagine having a person you already share intimacy with as your key holder is probably one of the best ways to do chastity. But it’s not an option for me. I’m single and have been since my last relationship ended. And for now, I’m not looking to get into another one. That’s one reason I look for professional key holders.

Another reason is I find it satisfying having someone who has no emotional or personal stake in my chastity enforcement. They are more strict, which is something I find very exciting. Someone who doesn’t love you will never yield to pleas for mercy. The rules, conditions, and schedules are only those the key holder wants. And, the key holder can make up new rules as long as they respect the limits you revealed at the beginning. That all adds a psychological dimension I truly enjoy.

Why This Professional?

I didn’t choose my new Mistress just because she was the only one who responded to my inquiry. She had been my first choice from the beginning among the three I contacted. She has the most professional, comprehensive website I’ve ever seen. The professionalism and the to the point information presented had already begun earning my trust before I even spoke to her for the first time. Then, when we did talk, I discovered we shared similar philosophies on chastity and how it is best done. That sealed the deal for me. And believe me, I feel so lucky I found this woman.

After exchanging emails, we met for a video chat because she insisted on it. That was a first for me. With only one other exception, I’ve not seen even a photo of my past remote key holders. Most want to preserve their privacy. Given the state of the world, I understand that. And it seems only fair since I’ve remained anonymous to them. But my new key holder strives to make her services as personal as possible for her clients and believes they deserve to know what their Mistress looks like. What I wasn’t expecting was how impossibly attractive she is.

I’ve never looked for a remote key holder based on looks since I wasn’t accustomed to seeing them, anyway. And a professional key holder isn’t and will never be your girlfriend. It’s simply a professional arrangement, and that is all it will ever likely be.

Truly beautiful women can be a little intimidating for that reason alone. And when you add a level of authentic dominance that I literally felt coming through my phone screen, the intimidation factor felt pretty intense. It was a brief conversation where she allowed me to ask questions, and then she had me lock up and secure the keys to my device while she watched. And it did make things feel more personal.

So Far, So Good

Mistress continues to impress. She requires a daily check-in with a photo to confirm I’m still locked. But most professionals do that, although some require only a weekly check-in or do surprise inspections. She also provides daily ~~torture~~ teasing, even though our agreement didn’t promise it, and it has been far more than I expected. Best of all, from my perspective, she texts me several times each day to torment me.

You can get those same services from most professionals, but always at an additional cost above the basic chastity key holding tribute. Mistress has truly gone above and beyond, exceeding my expectations on every level. While we don’t have long conversations by text, I still find them meaningful all the same. The texts show she is thinking about me when she sends them. And they help me feel a chemistry is developing that could sustain a long-term keyholding relationship. I think she is having fun (mostly at my expense) and I know I’m having fun. She has made this the most enjoyable enforced chastity experience I’ve ever had.

I have never had an unpleasant experience with any of my past key holders, and I liked every one of them. But this experience has been something truly remarkable. And, of course, she is definitely making Chastity 90 far more challenging for me. But I’m all good with it. And I may not be returning to self-locked anytime soon.

enforced male chastity

The Critical Difference Between Chastity With a Key Holder and Self-Locking

By Chaste on Sunday, January 16, 2022

As mentioned in the previous post, I engaged a Professional Dominatrix as my key holder for the observance of the longest day (month-long observance of International Male Chastity Day). Four days into it (I started a day early), the experience of having a key holder has reminded me once again of the critical difference between chastity with a key holder and self-locking. It’s the control.

I spent the entire year of 2021 self-locked and had to look back at my notes to see when I last had a key holder. It was June through November 2020. The benefits of wearing a male chastity device are so obvious that I willingly self-lock. That’s also why I recommend practicing solo male chastity to other single guys without hesitation. It’s still fun and meaningful. You still get many of the benefits. But we don’t get one element of chastity when we go it alone. We miss out on one of the most satisfying aspects of chastity, the experience of surrendering control to another person.

Surrendering Control is a Common Male Fantasy

Many men (if not most) fantasize about giving control of their sexual desires over to their wives, girlfriends, or partners. This dynamic, commonly known as power exchange, requires complete trust and open, honest communication. Many men enjoy being more of a passive player when it comes to sex, taking on a sexually submissive role. It runs contrary to the way they experience their lives outside the bedroom. So, they enjoy the idea of a partner locking up their penis, teasing, denying, and deciding when they can orgasm. It’s about feeling like you surrender control.

In the beginning, the novelty and excitement are heady and arousing, but once a little time passes, the frustration builds, and you must dig deep to find your own power and strength of resolve, as the temptation to beg and plead for release ramps up. It took only four days under the firm hand of my Mistress to remind me of all these things and how much I’ve missed it.

The Effects of Control

I’m not at the frustration stage yet, probably because I have acquired so much experience wearing a cock cage. But here is how the control of another person is making itself felt. Right now, I am super horny. That’s my preferred state, although it can be massively distracting. Sure, I get horny sometimes when I’m self-locked. But it never feels this intense.

The other thing I’ve noticed is attempted erections waking me during the night. I adjusted to the nocturnal erections a long while ago, and they rarely wake me anymore. But last night, attempted erections woke me three different times. That isn’t ordinary for me. All my custom cages are designed to fit tight with no extra space, so they all do an excellent job of stifling erection attempts quickly. Also, I woke up this morning with morning wood. Since my Jail Bird offers no extra space for the contents to grow, the boner pushed the base ring and cage a good distance away from my body until it subsided.

These are the things that make me aware of the control. Is this mental or physical? I think maybe a little of both. When you’re self-locked, even when you have no intention of unlocking, it’s always there in the back of your mind that you could unlock if you wanted. But it removes that option when you have surrendered control to a key holder. You can’t unlock and remove the cage without breaking the agreement and disappointing your key holder. Both are things I’d never do.

I have never experienced having an intimate partner I cared about and knew cared about me as a key holder. But I have no difficulty imagining that is the best possible way to experience chastity.

No matter how charming, dominant, or attractive a professional key holder might be or how over time, you sometimes develop feelings of affection for them on some level, you always understand it isn’t personal for them. It’s just a business transaction. They provide you a service for a fee you feel you need or want.

Nevertheless, the feeling of control it produces is still very real. And I love that feeling. It makes me feel comforted, cared for, and sexy. It makes the practice of chastity all the more profound. The feeling of the chastity device holding me tight and knowing another person has all the control is one of the best feelings in the world.

enforced male chastity

Benefits Women Can Expect From Male Chastity

By Chaste on Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Think Male Chastity Only Benefits the Men Who Want it? Think Again.

There are many readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. In the first article aimed at women whose husbands or boyfriends have revealed they desire chastity, I briefly mentioned the benefits women can expect from male chastity. In this post, we look at those benefits more closely.

Common Complaints Women Have About Their Men

One way to look at the readily attainable benefits of agreeing to lock your male partner’s penis in a chastity device is to look at some of the common complaints women have about their men. While researching this article, I looked at many different lists of this type, and here are eight complaints that made every list.

(1) “He never helps around the house.”

(2) “He’s is always playing video games, watching sports, etc., etc.”

(3) “We have the same arguments every day.”

(4) “He just wants sex.”

(5) “A little appreciation would be nice.”

(6) “He has to be taught basic life skills.”

(7) “He’s afraid of my feelings.”

(8) “He doesn’t listen.”

Do any of these sound familiar, ladies? All of them? What if I told you putting your man in chastity could eradicate the behaviors behind all of these complaints? Other women have seen it happen. So could you. But how is that possible?

Men and Sex

Someone once said that for women, sex is like scratching an itch. For men, it is like satisfying hunger or thirst. I think that’s an accurate analogy. The sex drives of women and men are remarkably different. Imagine if we were all the same. If evolution had programmed women to view and want sex the same as it has men, the world would be in utter chaos.

Many women believe that men have a one-track mind when it comes to sex. The truth is, that is a simplistic explanation for how men think about sex. Hundreds of thousands of years have programmed men with a prime directive to reproduce. It was nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species.

While once a useful and necessary trait, the male sex drive is now mostly a nuisance.

A majority of men naturally feel a nearly irresistible urge to ejaculate semen every twenty-four to seventy-hours. When aroused, a man is the most conscious of and attuned to women because of the sexual desire and the felt need to satisfy it. Once the urge is satiated, male desire reaches its lowest level, and he loses interest.

But not for long. Usually, within twenty-four hours, desire builds once again. It’s a continuous cycle. If a female partner is unavailable, most men resort to masturbation to satisfy the sexual need.

Why can’t men show a little self-discipline like women do when it comes to sex? That’s like asking why a heroin addict can’t show a little self-discipline and stop using heroin. I’m not making excuses for men. I’m only telling you the truth.

How Chastity Changes Everything

When a man’s penis is locked inside a chastity device, everything changes. He no longer enjoys the freedom to orgasm at will or even to touch his penis. The person holding the key makes those decisions. The sexual desire doesn’t disappear. It becomes more pronounced. The need becomes more keenly felt. A chaste man can soon feel desperate for sexual release. That’s why male sexual energy, when harnessed for good through the use of a chastity cage, becomes a tool a woman can use to modify her partners’ behavior.

Imagine that, and let it sink in for a moment. You’ve locked your partner’s penis in a cage, and you hold the key. Only you can unlock him. He feels desperate for sexual release. Who do you think becomes his singular focus, the most important person in his world? That’s right. You. Only you have the power to give him what he desperately wants.

The Behavior of a Chaste Man

Men locked in a chastity device behave far differently than men who are not. That’s because orgasm denial produces some profound hormonal changes in the male body. The changes are so dramatic that even while experiencing almost unbearable arousal, it can feel supremely pleasurable.

In this state, a man becomes more attentive to his partner and her needs, more in touch with his own feelings, and eager to please to almost a subservient degree. Those eight common complaints we looked at earlier? The male behaviors behind them simply disappear. The chastened man will literally do almost anything his partner, the keyholder, asks of him. Imagine the possibilities. These are the benefits women can expect from male chastity.

No one has to tell you how disinterested, inattentive, and unromantic your man becomes after having sex or masturbating. Imagine now that instead of enduring this behavior every few days, you only have to deal with it occasionally and as infrequently as you wish.

Just because he desires chastity doesn’t mean you must give up sex, not even PIV sex. You are free to have it as often as you like. Only you forbid him to come and lock him right back up when you’ve finished with him.

You can even keep him locked up and enjoy the attentive quality oral sex you’ve always dreamed of but rarely experienced in the past. He will be happy to serve you orally as often and for as long as you wish as he learns that giving you pleasure becomes his greatest pleasure.

So I Can Keep Him Locked All the Time?

No, unfortunately, you can’t leave a man locked and denied indefinitely. If you never give him a release, his arousal level will eventually fall. He might even become depressed. He must believe that eventually, you will allow him a release.

But you can easily keep him in the state of elevated arousal for weeks at a time. And by judiciously managing his releases through the use of techniques like ruined orgasms, prostate milking, and only allowing him to come while wearing his chastity device (though use of a vibrator), you can shorten those periods of unsatisfactory behavior. That’s because while all of those techniques give him a small measure of relief, they aren’t truly satisfying in the way unrestricted orgasms are.

After a less than fully satisfying release, his arousal will quickly build again to its former elevated level, that sweet spot where you want to keep him.

If Only Life Were Simple

If life were simple, the only effort required of you would be snapping a lock shut and putting away the key. Frankly, it doesn’t work quite that way. Chastity will require some time and effort on your part to keep your partner’s arousal at a high level. It will require you to tease him sexually regularly. But that’s something you should want to do. That’s how you maximize the benefits you will enjoy.

Don’t worry. Even if teasing isn’t something you feel particularly adept at or even something you feel wired to do, it isn’t hard and doesn’t require loads of time. Teasing is the next topic we will visit in this series. And as far as the time commitment, all you must do is shift chores and responsibilities to your partner you have done previously to free up the extra time.

If your husband or boyfriend has recently admitted he desires chastity and asks you to enforce it by becoming his keyholder, I hope you feel less reluctant about giving it a try. After reading this post, you now know the benefits women can expect from male chastity and that it could vastly improve your relationship. By agreeing to lock up your partner’s penis, you will be doing yourself a big favor.