A new study revealed that many women feel men are selfish when it comes to sex.
A new study revealed that many women feel men are selfish when it comes to sex, that their partners do not care about their sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Data showing two out of three women don’t climax every time they have sex seems to support this. But an overwhelming majority of men participating in the study claimed that ensuring an orgasm for their partners was a priority for them, and the claim that men are selfish when it comes to sex might only be a myth. So, what’s the truth? Are men selfish in bed, or do most guys prioritize making sure their partners get equal pleasure?
A look beneath the surface
A look beneath the surface might suggest that women are correct. Even guys who insist it is always important that their partner gets equal pleasure during sex may not be as selfless as they appear in deciding priorities. Many men I’ve known (including me) follow the practice of making sure their partners had an orgasm first before they climaxed. That proves we men are thoughtful and mindful of our partners getting equal pleasure, right? I once believed that was true until I took the time to unpack it.
I discovered that I (and probably true of most other guys with the same view) was more concerned about what my partner’s orgasms meant for me than them. When I asked myself who her orgasm was really pleasing, I had to admit it was me. I viewed her orgasm as a benchmark for success, an affirmation that I was great in the sack, almost like a trophy for success. And, on the odd occasion when I had sex with a woman, and she didn’t orgasm, I found it deflating.
While I like to believe I did care about the pleasure and satisfaction my partners received on some level, on reflection, I must accept I was more selfish than selfless when it came to sex. Giving a woman an orgasm made me feel properly masculine and gave me an ego boost, which proves that focusing on giving a partner an orgasm wasn’t all that selfless.
Women are at a disadvantage
I’m sharing this today because it is yet another reason I’m astonished that all women don’t lock their partners in chastity devices. After all, that would eliminate the problem of men behaving selfishly regarding sex. Sure, I understand most vanilla women, even open-minded ones, recoil in disgust when looking at the image of a locked cock and reject the very idea of male chastity. While male chastity is more mainstream than ever, I understand many people still view the use of cock cages as a perverted fetish. But suppose more women only knew how many relationship problems chastity devices would solve for them. In that case, I think most would insist on caging the penises of their partners with the same giddy exuberance with which so many women embraced kinkier sexual practices after reading 50 Shades of Grey or seeing the film based on the book.
Evolution, by default, causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design, our real-world sexual choices tend to reflect biological imperatives that have programmed men and women to approach sex very differently for millions of years. Pregnancy is always possible for women, which is a difficult, costly process, and raising children even more so, meaning they must take sex seriously. By and large, biology conditions women to avoid casual sex and to connect sex with love.
On the other hand, men have no such restraint on their libidos. Their approach to sex tends to reflect the biological imperative to spread their genes as widely as possible at no cost to themselves. Yes, men will settle down with a fertile woman whose fidelity is assured of having legitimate offspring. But many will still sleep around as much as they can, especially with women who possess the key “fertility cues” of youth and physical beauty. These biological truths explain why so many partnered men can’t keep it in thir pants when oppotunities arise and the male attraction to porn and masturbation.
For all its complexity, human sexual desire results from something quite simple—our struggle to survive as a species. Lust, infatuation, and even love are only adaptive techniques humans have developed over our species’ long history to maximize our genes’ chances for survival. The sooner we all come to terms with that, the sooner men won’t have to persuade or beg the women in their lives to lock them in chastity devices. Instead, it will be the women demanding it.
Ringing in the New Year
I finished 2021 wearing the Holy Trainer Nano V4 for a change of pace after wearing the Holy Trainer Nub V4 since December 1. I’d forgotten how much I liked this device. And as much as I love micro chastity devices, it felt good to let things stretch out a little. Sure, I prefer steel, but when you’re in the mood for plastic, Holy Trainer makes some darn great cock cages.
After ringing in 2022 with a traditional champagne toast, I switched from the Nano to my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress since I haven’t worn it for a while.
