Does Wanting Chastity Mean You Are Submissive?

Chastity need not involve D/s or even kink, for that matter. Some guys want for a myriad of different reasons to wear a locked chastity device to which someone else controls the key to the lock simply because they desire having someone else to control their penis and access to sexual pleasure. Putting on a chastity cage and handing over the key to someone else is something we might consider a submissive act, but it doesn’t necessarily make a guy submissive.

The reason I chose to discuss this today is that I don’t want anyone to think that chastity and wearing chastity devices is only something submissive men do. That’s for two reasons. Such an understanding might prevent guys who know they aren’t submissive from trying chastity and I’ve come to believe every guy should try it even though some will decide chastity just isn’t for them. Just as important, I don’t want women who don’t feel attracted to submissive men to get turned off by the idea of chastity because they think it will transform their manly, masculine husband or boyfriend into a milquetoast, servile male who longs to wear a French maid outfit.

Assuming all submissive men are timid, weak, insipid, and effeminate is of course subscribing to an untrue stereotype. Yes, such men exist, but I believe they are the exception, not the rule. I also think dividing the entire population of men into alphas and betas is a gross oversimplification. I believe masculinity is a continuum where we could put the so-called alpha males on one end and betas on the other and where most men would fall somewhere on the line between those extremes.

Using me as an example, I’m no beta male. I’m not shy, timid, or effeminate even when I’m feeling the most submissive to Lucie. I’ve always gravitated to dominant roles and professions in everyday life and have often held leadership positions. I’ve served in two branches of the armed forces, applied for and got selected to officer candidate school, served as a commissioned military officer, completed several of the military’s hero schools and have the patches and tabs to prove it.

Like many guys I’ve known, I’m a sexual submissive, not submissive in a general sense. I don’t feel less masculine when submitting to a strong, dominant woman like Lucie. And I am not submissive to every dominant woman. I won’t be feminized, and no one, including Lucie, could ever persuade me to become a sissy maid. Just like I said about masculinity earlier, I think submission is also a continuum. I’m neither the most submissive nor least submissive guy on the planet. I fall somewhere on a line between those extremes.

If you’re a woman whose husband or partner has admitted he wants to wear a chastity device and for you to be his keyholder and maybe feel it means he isn’t the manly man you thought he was, no worries. My advice is to have a serious discussion until you feel you understand his motivations and then decide whether it is something you are able and willing to take part in. For guys who feel sure they don’t have a submissive bone in their body, you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of trying chastity if you feel curious about it. You don’t have to become something you’re not, and you might learn something about yourself you don’t know if you try it.

Since discovering my submissive nature under Lucie’s guidance, I’ve felt no discomfort or shame about it. And after weeks and now months of being locked for Lucie, I’ve learned it amplifies my submissive feelings. In my case, I feel the submissive piece has only enhanced the chastity experience. But we’re all unique individuals who respond to chastity differently. The takeaway is, just wanting chastity does not mean you are submissive. But if you are submissive, you will probably find chastity even more meaningful and enjoyable.