Chastity and submission. Do the two go hand in hand? If you’re a guy who wants to wear a chastity device, does that mean you’re submissive? Let’s talk about that.
So, maybe you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or maybe the woman in your life wants to lock you up. Perhaps it is her idea. But the submissive part of it doesn’t really turn you on all that much. Also, small penis humiliation, sissification, and cuckolding don’t appeal to you at all. Maybe you think chastity only works for submissive guys.
Not So Fast My Friend
A quick chastity web search shows that there is a heck of a lot of people who assume that chastity and male submission go together like peanut butter and jelly. Actually, that kind of thinking is an example of what they call in logic a cum hoc fallacy—jumping to a conclusion about causation based on a correlation between two things, or types of things, which sometimes occur simultaneously.
Some people can’t seem to separate male chastity and male submission in their minds, so they insist no one else can either. Sure, there are plenty of submissive men for whom chastity is yet another path to deeper submission. But the truth is, chastity and male submission don’t necessarily go together like hamburgers and fries.
One Of The Top Male Fantasies
On almost every top male sexual fantasies list, one of the top five most popular sexual fantasies among all kinds of men is being sexually controlled by a powerful, dominant woman.
Guys fantasize about feeling sexually dominated when they’re tired of doing the dominating themselves, or when they have mixed feelings about what they’re doing in that domination where they’re on top.
Add to this that men sometimes get tired of always having to be in control in the bedroom. Traditional gender roles impressed on all of us by societal norms suggest that men are “supposed” to be the initiators of sex while women are the gatekeepers. Chastity presents a significant reversal of those roles. It’s relatively easy to see why many guys, all sorts of guys, find the idea relinquishing control tantalizing. It isn’t only submissive men who have these fantasies.
This is why I think we must avoid making hard-and-fast distinctions between dominance and submission. Guys seem capable of shifting from one role to the other. And even though many may prefer a single sexual stance, still each role seems to offer its own gratifications.
Wearing A Chastity Device Is An Inherently Submissive Act
It can’t be argued that wearing a chastity device isn’t an inherently submissive act. All we have to do to understand that is to look at the definition of sexual submission. Sexual submission is when one individual (the submissive) turns overall sexual control to another (the dominant). The chaste guy (submissive) gives his partner (the dominant) complete control over his access to sexual pleasure, not to mention his penis. There is no logical way to claim that isn’t submission. But submission, when it comes to chastity, can be motivated by two entirely different things.
Role Versus Nature
Submissive men are submissive by nature. They crave to submit because that is what feels right. It’s a need they keenly feel. For them, chastity does deepen that natural disposition. However, many guys want to wear a chastity device because of their own desires, not because a powerful, dominant partner dictates it.
For these men, submission is not their character or personality. They only assume a submissive role while in chastity. After a significant period locked in chastity, they may behave much like their submissive male counterparts. But once they take the device off, they revert to their usual disposition.
Submissive Men Are Misunderstood
Lots of men, otherwise attracted to the chastity lifestyle, are reluctant to be viewed as being submissive. That’s because popular culture assumes submission to be negative, associating it with meekness, weakness, and passivity. Sometimes submissive men are openly mocked by other men (and some women) who don’t regard them as “real men.”
Submissive guys sometimes get treated as intrinsically weak and effeminate. That’s because those who aren’t submissive feel they’re subverting heteronormative gender dynamics in the worst possible way. It’s not only that they’re failing to perform the role of an assertive, masculine male, but they’re also not even trying to perform it. So, it’s easy to see why men who aren’t submissive might be averse to being perceived as submissive.
The truth is, however, submissive guys are not weak, necessarily meek, and not all of them are effeminate. They aren’t violating any “bro code.” They are simply guys who prefer submission to dominance by nature. Here popular culture gets it all wrong.
Signs You May Be A Submissive
For those still worried the desire to wear a chastity device may mean you’re a submissive, and you don’t want it to be true, I have a little test that might help you.
- You feel both excited and at peace when the opportunity to submit to your partner arises because it feels natural to you.
- Taking control during sex and initiating things feels odd.
- You are always in control in your day to day life, whether at work or home, but when it comes to sex, you just want to enjoy yourself and not have to make decisions. You basically want to be a passive sexual partner. Not boring but passive.
- You get turned on when dominated or commanded during sexual play.
- The idea of pleasing someone turns you on more than the idea of getting pleased.
- The idea of disappointing someone greatly upsets you.
If you agree with all those statements, if that’s how you feel, despite your preference, you may be a submissive. If so, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with it.
The Bottom Line
The majority of us are either submissive or dominant by nature. It’s simply ingrained into our personalities and behaviors. Our bodies, our brains, and our sexuality respond to it.
Some people can take on either role just as naturally. We classify these individuals as switches, meaning they are capable of switching roles with ease. Regardless, wearing a chastity device is not going to change your nature. While you may submit to your partner while wearing a device, that isn’t going to transform you into a submissive if you’re not submissive.
I hope reading this post was beneficial to you. Understanding yourself and coming to terms with your sexual style and nature can make you feel more at ease. Sexuality is an essential aspect of a person’s overall well-being, yet many times it’s overlooked when people self reflect. But it’s an important piece of the puzzle we call “self,” and until we understand and come to grips with this piece, we will never feel as complete or content.
