Does chastity always lead to cuckolding? No, sometimes, cuckolding leads to chastity. I’m kidding. Chastity doesn’t always lead to cuckolding, and cuckolding doesn’t always lead to chastity. They are separate and independent kinks.
When I first visited a chastity forum website that I still visit occasionally, I was surprised by the number of posts I saw related to cuckolding, feminization, forced-bi, CEI, and SPH. Years ago, I was quite involved in the BDSM scene, and so I come from more of a kink background than a vanilla one. Still, none of those things were kinks that ever appealed to me.
In this post, I want to look at why some other fetishes and kinks seem to get lumped in with chastity.
Chastity And Cuckolding
Since I led off with it, we’ll look at cuckolding first. In my kinkier days, I knew plenty of people who were into cuckolding, but who didn’t wear chastity cages. Guys I knew who desired being cuckolded were typically submissive men who were attracted to the humiliation aspect of it. They often liked other forms of humiliation play as well. But today you do sometimes meet chaste men who want their partners to cuckold them. And there is a logic to it.
Enforced chastity produces a greater sense of emasculation for some guys than others. Also, when a guy gets periods of constant teasing without orgasm, oxytocin builds up and stays high all the time. That makes him not only horny, but more attentive, affectionate, obedient, and eager to please the woman holding his keys. At some point, the guy may think, “Hey, I’m locked up, she’s not. Since I can’t give her penetrative sex, why not let her get that from another guy?” It just sort of makes cognitive sense for some guys
The longer a guy in chastity thinks about it, the more he may become intrigued with the idea of his wife or girlfriend keyholder being intimate with another man. The more he thinks about it, the more he fantasizes about it, and the hotter the idea sounds. Then he ends up proposing the idea to his partner. At least that’s the way it usually works. Just like chastity, it is typically the guy who suggests cuckolding to his wife or partner. There are instances where the wife or partner suggests it first, but almost always, that happens with couples who are already in full-blown female-led relationships.
Feminization
Feminization, also known as sissification, is another distinct, unconnected kink that often gets lumped in with chastity. For the uninformed, it’s the practice of a dominant person forcing a submissive male partner to dress as a female and encouraging or training them to adopt (typically exaggerated) feminine behaviors and appearances.
Some guys in chastity may desire to be feminized because they want to take emasculation even further than the sense of it they get from just wearing a chastity device. They may ask their keyholder to add feminization to the mix. Or, the keyholder may suggest it. Regardless, feminization is usually “forced” in the sense the chaste male pretends he doesn’t want to be feminized and finds it humiliating when the truth is it is something he wants. The “forced” aspect of it relieves him of the responsibility for becoming a sissy, yet allows him to enjoy the humiliation play he wants that makes it appealing.
One problem with forced feminization is some lifestyle, and even pro-dommes who act as keyholders are under the mistaken impression that every guy who wants to wear a chastity device also wants to be trained to look and behave as a female. I once had a domme tell me that chastity was just the gateway drug to feminization. That’s not true at all. Many guys simply enjoy having a keyholder lock their penises in chastity cages and take pleasure in the thrill of not knowing when or if their keyholder will unlock them.
Other Kinks And Fetishes That Are Connected With Chastity
Small penis humiliation (SPH), forced-bi, and cum eating instructions (CEI) are three other different kinks that are often lumped in with chastity.
Again, I’m not suggesting some guys in chastity don’t desire to experience those things, but they aren’t part of chastity, but separate kink interests. Just because a guy feels an attraction to chastity doesn’t mean he is interested in SPH, forced-bi, or CEI.
There’s Nothing Wrong With That
Nothing I’ve written here suggests I think there is anything wrong with any of those other kinks and fetishes or with someone who finds them erotic and enjoyable. Coming from a kink background myself, I don’t engage in kink-shaming.
Kink-shaming is just what it sounds like, shaming or embarrassing someone for their sexual interests or desires when they don’t line up with what you think is normal. I respect the kinks of others, even when it happens to be something that doesn’t appeal to me. My philosophy is live and let live. As long as no one is harmed, no one is victimized, and everything that happens is consensual among all involved parties, then I see nothing wrong with it.
Still, I have the things I like, and there are things others like I just don’t find enjoyable or erotic.
Why This Matters
There are several reasons I think we should resist the idea that chastity, by definition, incorporates a lot of other kinks some may find extreme.
First, as said, some dommes get it wrong. Some lifestyle and pro-dommes who are chastity keyholders I’ve come across, especially on social media, often make false assumptions. They come across a lot of legitimately submissive types, guys who like chastity, and also find it erotic to be called “slut,” “loser,” “sissy,” or what have you.
They meet guys who are turned on by being subjected to small penis humiliation. Dommes know some guys get a thrill out of being made to wear women’s underwear or other articles of female clothing. But, they get it wrong when they assume all guys who are into chastity are the same and want the same things. We just aren’t, and we don’t. We don’t all want a heaping helping of humiliation to go with our chastity.
Also, the way chastity is too often presented on the Internet is it goes hand in hand with a guy being submissive and desiring stuff like feminization, forced-bi, or cuckolding.
When the average Joe approaches his mostly vanilla wife or girlfriend and reveals he wants to wear a chastity device, these women often turn to the web to learn what chastity is and what a keyholder is. Many of them come away thinking chastity is bizarre and that keyholders must be foul-mouthed, whip-cracking dominatrices. They just don’t see themselves in that role and are turned off by the whole idea of chastity. What they often find is porn and don’t usually learn from the Internet stuff that chastity play can be enjoyed without any of those things. They don’t come away seeing how keyholding can be sensual, loving, and kind.
Finally, as chastity becomes more mainstream, lots of otherwise vanilla men are becoming interested in wearing chastity devices. They need to know that chastity may change them in some ways. But they also must understand putting on a chastity cage doesn’t mean they are jumping down some kink rabbit hole that is going to change them into something they don’t want.
You can find wearing a penis cage and practicing chastity enjoyable and meaningful without adding any other kinks. It’s okay if you want to incorporate other kinks, but chastity is its own thing.