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Is It Too Soon to Talk About No Nut November?

By Chaste on Thursday, October 26, 2023

With five days left to go in Locktober 2023, is it too soon to talk about No Nut November? I imagine some guys will go straight into NNN from Locktober. The true over-achievers may even aim for the trifecta by doing Denial December after that, cumulatively a solid 92 days of chastity bliss. Well, okay, since you insist, let’s talk about No Nut November 2023.

For the benefit of those who may have recently emigrated from Indonesia where even today most locals do not have internet access, I’ll begin with what No Nut November is and then give a little of the history behind it. If you’re not from Indonesia and have had internet access since 2017, you can probably skip straight to the history section because you likely already know all about the No Nut challenge.

No Nut November, often abbreviated NNN, is an annual male sexual abstinence challenge that takes place during the month of November. For the full month, men attempt to refrain from sex, masturbation, and ejaculation of semen to complete the challenge successfully.

“Bust a nut,” as defined by Urban Dictionary, is “a slang term used in place of the more ‘correct’ term for ejaculation. The term originated from when sperm would bust from the testicles (nuts).” Hence the challenge title, No Nut November. NNN appeared on the web in 2011 and then rapidly gained popularity around 2017, thanks to social media.

NNN is almost an identical challenge to Locktober with similar rules. The primary difference is NNN doesn’t specifically incorporate the use of chastity devices as Locktober does, though today many NNN participants do wear chastity devices during the challenge.

Despite its similarity to Locktober, NNN isn’t as well received by the general public as Locktober. That’s because many associate NNN with the NoFap movement, which they view negatively and often connect it (incorrectly) with the Incel community, widely deemed misogynistic.

Also, E. J. Dickson, a Rolling Stones senior writer who covers internet culture, once charged that the “far right” had co-opted the challenge and urged her left-leaning readers not to take part. For fuck’s sake. Must Marxists make every fucking thing about politics?

Anyway, after Dickson noticed an obscure Republican politician had tweeted support for No Nut November, she sounded her “the far right has co-opted No Nut November” alarm. Many other left-cleaning publications, as good little apparatchiks do, fell immediately in line and shrilly trashed NNN as a dastardly fascist plot. They sensed NNN threatened not only democracy but the very notion of sexual liberty and would undoubtedly lead to a resurgence of puritanical sexual customs and conventions, which the right wingers would once again force upon the masses.

Unlike E. J. Dickson and her fellow travelers, I don’t fear No Nut November is a right-wing Jedi trick aimed at dragging us kicking and screaming back into the Victorian era. I regard it as the same type of innocuous fun that Locktober is for those of us who enjoy chastity devices and orgasm denial. So, say “fuck off” to E. J. Dickson, the Marxist rag she writes for, and her commie pals and take part in NNN if you want and help make No Nut November great again.

You can find many sites on the web that publish a lengthy list of rules people should follow during No Nut November. Allow me to summarize them for those who may be interested in taking part this year. Bro, don’t nut in November. Other than that, do you what you want and have fun.

If you failed Locktober, don’t despair. No Nut November is a chance at redemption and it’s even a whole day shorter. For those who pass the Locktober challenge successfully, NNN is a chance to really test your mettle by seeing if you can survive another thirty days straight without a sexual release.

I have done both Locktober and No Nut November back-to-back before, but I don’t plan to observe NNN this year. Since Lucie is taking a sabbatical to recharge, I plan to take about a week off to let things return to normal lengths and to experience normal nocturnal erections again. Then, I’ll lock up for the Hera device wear test. I’ll probably spend November looking for a new keyholder and have a few candidates in mind. If I strike a deal in time, who knows? Maybe I’ll be down for Denial December.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 26: Release Management

By Chaste on Thursday, October 26, 2023

The original prompt for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 26 didn’t apply to me at all, so instead today’s topic is release management. I’ll talk about how long my keyholder usually keeps me locked between releases.

How does your keyholder manage your releases? Tell us about the schedule your keyholder uses. For example, are you locked for a set number of days or weeks? For a month or longer? Or does your keyholder manage your releases on an indefinite schedule?

Every keyholder has their own system of managing their chastised male’s releases. Some prefer longer locked periods and some prefer shorter. The best-case scenario is when a keyholder knows their charge well and tailors the locked periods to how the male responds to orgasm denial.

One of the excellent chastity blogs I follow regularly is curated by the femdom keyholder in a chastity-based, FLR relationship with her husband. She regularly keeps her husband on a 7-day schedule, keeping him locked in his device all week and then unlocking him and allowing him to orgasm and ejaculate at the end of each week before beginning the cycle again. The keyholder follows the 7-day schedule because she says her husband gets resentful or depressed when locked and denied for over 7 days, so she rarely goes beyond that except for punishment or just a change of pace.

Personally, I would hate that 7-day schedule. Here’s why. Agni, a chastity keyholding expert and the woman who once curated the Tumbler blog, Ask Agni, wrote an interesting piece called “Traffic Jam Chastity.” Like the constant starting and stopping in a traffic jam, Agni believes that unlocking and allowing a male to orgasm after only a few days or a week at a time prevents him from ever getting past the battle for relief and into the “Goldilocks Phase,” the period where he is floating on the fabled dopamine-driven submissive cloud of chaste pleasure. And that phase is when chastity is the best and most enjoyable for the male and most beneficial for his keyholder. And, as Agni explains, that is just how the male sexual response cycle works.

Agni believes after a male has an orgasm and ejaculates and enters the refractory period, all that nice tension wound into his brain by denial unravels and his interest in sex evaporates along with his submissive feelings. After two or three days, sexual desire slowly returns as his prostate refills and his one-track mind gets ready for another orgasm. That’s why the third or fourth day of chastity and denial are always the hardest and why Agni believes a keyholder must train the male to endure longer periods of chastity.

In my experience, Agni is correct. Days three and four are always the hardest for me after I’ve had a release. Between the end of the third day and the beginning of the fourth, my brain finally accepts that orgasm is not imminent and my body stops fighting the chastity. Usually between the fifth to seventh day, I hit the Goldilocks phase and find chastity the most enjoyable. I agree with Agni that this period, lasting between three to four weeks, is when a male is the most malleable and submissive.

That’s exactly how it works with me. So, if a keyholder kept me on a regular 7-day schedule between releases, I would never enter the phase of chastity I love the most. I suspect for the husband in the blog I mentioned, the weeks probably feel like doing and unending series of Locktober again and again because I’m sure he is always counting down the days and craving the release more with each passing day he knows always comes at the end of the week. No wonder he gets resentful or depressed whenever his wife occasionally keeps him locked longer. She has conditioned him to the 7-day cycle.

Lucie preferred shorter locked periods like 5-9 or 10-17 days when we first started. She never gave me the exact day to expect release, just a window of opportunity, and stressed my performance and behavior, good or bad, affected her decisions on managing releases. But once she learned I preferred longer periods and that longer periods benefited her more, she began lengthening my locked periods. We soon progressed from four weeks to where we are now at over 100 days since my last release. And she has maintained the indefinite nature of my locked periods, where I never know when a release is coming throughout. That’s worked well because Lucie gives me plenty of teasing to build my arousal to the max and then sustain it, so I think she can keep me in the Goldilocks phase even longer than the three to four weeks Agni talks about.

My position has always been the keyholder decides when or if I get a release. So, I’ve never disagreed with the locked periods Lucie has mandated. But in a perfect world, if I had a say in the management of my releases, I would prefer a 21-31 day release system where my keyholder permitted me orgasm about once per month. Can’t lie. I still want to orgasm and ejaculate sometimes and I think about 12 times a year would be about right for me. But here’s the funny thing. I would also prefer my keyholder only allowed me ruined orgasms.

Ruined orgasms offer a taste of the sensations from climaxing and ejaculating, but they don’t completely wipe out the accumulated arousal the way full orgasms do. I love the feeling of constant desire and arousal and I don’t enjoy going all the way back to zero and suffering through the post refractory periods until I get back to the Goldilocks phase. I had planned to discuss all this with Lucie after Locktober until I learned she needs to take a break for a while. But if I decide to find a new keyholder, I will definitely bring it up during our negotiations. I still want the indefinite aspect where I never when I’ll get a release, but I would like to know I will one about every month.

That’s my thoughts on managing releases as far as it applies to me and my experience with Lucie. If you’re curious, Agni recommends locked periods of at least two weeks (as a reward for extra good behavior), but usually three weeks, and up to four (as a penalty for unacceptable behavior). It seems she and Lucie have very similar outlooks on chastity enforcement.

Don’t miss 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 27 when we will discuss service to the keyholder.

How do you like to be served? What ways of serving your keyholder really turns you on?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 24: Partners

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 24, 2023

While I think having a romantic partner as your keyholder is always the best situation, relying on professionals has advantages. For one, you can choose a professional with the qualities you most desire. In today’s 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 24, I’m sharing what I look for in a keyholder.

What qualities do you look for in a keyholding partner?

Having had what I think is a representative sample of professional keyholders, I know they aren’t all the same. I’ve talked to several others who I ultimately chose not to enter keyholding agreements with when it appeared obvious they didn’t possess enough of the qualities I was looking for. But here, I will not focus on the shortcomings I’ve observed, but will instead share what I look for in a keyholding partner.

Authenticity. I look for someone who has a sincere interest in the chastity dynamic, not someone who only offers keyholding as a side gig to earn some extra money. Those types rarely have a professional website and instead rely on X (formerly known as Twitter), Fetlife, or one of the many fan sites to attract clients. Someone sincerely interested in enforcing chastity will have a lot of knowledge about it. Those only interested in making money usually don’t. A Professional website and knowledge of what chastity is about are the first things I look for.

Legitimate Dominance. I also look for a keyholder who is legitimately dominant. A romantic partner who graciously agrees to become a keyholder may not be a legitimate dominant or perhaps just hasn’t discovered the dominant part of their nature at the beginning. That’s okay. But when you tribute someone to enforce your chastity, you have every right to expect that person is a true dominant, not someone simply playing a role. I think I’m pretty good at sensing true dominance, but the best ones seem to exude dominance from their pores. Lucie is a good example. Five minutes into our first video call, I had no doubts about whether Lucie was the real deal or not.

Confidence. I look for confidence in a keyholder partner. Intuitively, you might think authentic dominance and confidence go hand in hand. They don’t. Confidence is usually a product of knowledge and experience. Someone who seems to project the “ultra bitch” or “psycho cunt” image intentionally are red flags for me because I know that is usually how someone lacking confidence attempts to hide it. Think Kamala Harris. Sorry. Nothing personal and I have no idea if she considers herself dominant, but she is the epitome of exactly what I’m talking about here. Exercising control requires confidence. Faking it doesn’t cut it.

Caring. I want a keyholder who cares about me as a person and shows it. A domme can be strict and even impeccably cruel and still be caring at the same time. She can be stern, bossy, even tyrannical. I want all that as long as she is also caring and makes me feel she has my best interests at heart.

Fair. I have dealt with dominant women who thought exercising dominance meant tricking or baiting a submissive into technical violations of their rules so they had an excuse to administer punishment. That doesn’t work for me. I expect honesty and fairness. Respect goes both ways. A dominant should give clear instructions, all questions for clarification if necessary, and then enforce fair standards. I don’t expect to be coddled, but I do expect fairness and I wouldn’t hesitate to end a relationship with any dominant who seemed to believe playing stupid games was what dominance is about.

Intelligent & Creative. I think intelligence and creativity are important qualities to seek in a keyholder. This is always true, but especially true with distance keyholders. Having a keyholder who doesn’t have these qualities severely limits the length of a relationship because you will soon exhaust what can be done online. Things will then quickly grow stale and both parties will grow bored and one or both won’t want to continue.

A Sense of Humor. One of the things I’ve treasured most about Lucie is her sense of humor. Chastity should be fun. Lucie makes it fun. As an example she has often assigned me a task with the requirement to send her a video of my performance. More than once she has given me a task that she knew very well was impossible. And when I contacted her, frustrated after learning I couldn’t do what she asked because I realized it was impossible, she would laugh and admit she knew it was impossible. And no matter how frustrated I was, I’d always end up laughing right along with her. Chastity doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be deadly serious all the time. It should be fun for both parties to a keyholding agreement.

Those are the qualities in no particular order that I look for in a keyholder partner. I’m enough of a realist to know you aren’t often going to find a keyholder who possesses every single one. But I won’t settle for a keyholder who doesn’t have at least most of them. With Lucie, I’ve been exceptionally lucky because she ticks every box. That’s why I hate the thought of our relationship ending. It’s unlikely I’ll find another keyholder keyholder who will offer anything close to the experience Lucie has given me for the past five months.

Tomorrow in the post 31 Days of Chastity Day 25, I’ll offer my thoughts on the subject of openness about the practice of chastity. Hope you will join me again as I respond to this prompt:

How open are you about your chastity and being locked up?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 21: Keys on Ice

By Chaste on Saturday, October 21, 2023

The 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 21 concerns emergency keys. Where and how one might store their emergency key, method of access, and any situations where it has been used.

How do you deal with the need for key access in an emergency? Wax? Ice? Left-Luggage Locker? If you’ve ever had to use your emergency key, write about what happened.

Access to an emergency key is a plan everyone wearing a chastity device should have, whether you have a partner as a keyholder or, like me, have a distance keyholder. Emergencies happen. A partner could be at work or a great distance away when something goes haywire. A remote keyholder might be unreachable. You must have a way to unlock and remove the device if a situation demands it.

I’m familiar with all the methods the prompt mentions for storing an emergency where you could access it in a genuine emergency, but that is inconvenient enough that you won’t feel as tempted to use the key during a moment of weakness. Probably because I have always had remote keyholders, I’ve never used of those methods. That’s because I’ve always used plastic, numbered locks.

In a genuine emergency, I could always destroy the plastic lock and set myself free. It would then be necessary for me to explain why I felt it necessary to destroy the lock, since my keyholders have always recorded the numbers when locking me. That keeps me honest, and I’ve never felt tempted to destroy a lock just because I craved a little relief.

I used to use the plastic locks directly on my devices when I had the type that used the tiny padlocks. But once the “Magic Locks” became popular, that wasn’t an option. So, for a while, I used a “key safe,” a key shaped plastic container I could insert both keys into and then secure them inside with a plastic numbered lock. I then held the secured key safe in any photo frame when taking proof photos my keyholders required so they could see the keys were secure and the lock intact.

After buying my Kink3D Cobra, I purchased the company’s Airlock accessory. This plastic pin type device replaces the integral brass lock, sliding into the lock channel and locking the cage and base ring together. You then secure it in place with a plastic numbered lock, which prevents you from removing the pin without your keyholder’s knowledge and consent. I think it’s the ideal system when you have a remote keyholder because they can easily see whenever they ask for a proof photo or video that you haven’t tampered with the numbered lock. And even with a partner keyholder, it would work just as well. This system renders keys irrelevant and again, in an actual emergency, I could destroy the lock to remove the device.

Another great thing about the Airlock is no metal at all with your device, not even a lock. While I’ve yet to try it, I assume you could pass through metal detectors at airports, government buildings, or concert venue gates without having to remove your device. Others have attested that some metal detectors are sensitive enough to alert on the brass integral lock and that an impromptu “show and tell” ensued for them, along with a conversation with security personnel that most of us aren’t eager to have.

As I’ve shared, my newest acquisition is the Hera 3D-printed chastity device available exclusively from the House of Denial. One of the first things I investigated was whether my Kink3D Airlock would work with it. It doesn’t. The channel design differs just enough that the Airlock won’t go completely into the lock channel. I’ve already asked them if they could fabricate something similar to the Airlock, and a representative told me they are already working on it and hope to have a similar accessory available soon.

So far, I’ve never had an emergency requiring me to unlock. Twice I have had a testicle escape the base ring, but always contacted my keyholder and advised them of the situation before destroying a plastic lock to correct the problem and received permission before cutting the lock.

Wow! We have already arrived at the end of the third week of Locktober 2023, and our meme. Hopefully, you’re still in the game as we have only ten days to go after today. Here is the prompt for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 22:

What do you think is important in keeping a Chastity relationship healthy? Would this be any different in a non-Chastity relationship?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Day 18: Going Back

By Chaste on Wednesday, October 18, 2023

The meme prompt for today is one of those I had planned to tweak a little to make it more relevant to my chastity experiences. But something happened yesterday that, at least for me, makes the original prompt more relevant. So, I’m responding to it here on this 31 Days of Chastity Day 18.

Could you (or your partner) ever go back to a relationship without some form of chastity?

At first glance, I felt today’s prompt had no real relevance to me since I’ve never had a relationship with a romantic partner acting as my key holder and accompanying me on my chastity journey. I’m sure I needn’t remind regular followers of this blog that my relationship with Lucie is not a romantic one. She is a professional chastity key holder and enforces my chastity in return for financial tributes. As I’ve explained many times, this is the type of chastity relationship that works best for me, at least under my current circumstances.

Still, I follow so many blogs curated by guys whose wives are their key holders, some of whom who are part of an actual female led relationship (FLR), it isn’t difficult for me to imagine what it might feel like if I was part of such a relationship.

All the guys who write these blogs were in their present relationships long before chastity became a part of the relationship dynamic they now share with their partners. Their relationships didn’t begin as an FLR or with them wearing a chastity device. So, I can say without equivocation, if I were a part of an FLR or even a relationship that wasn’t quite on that level, where chastity played the important role that I would want it to, I would not want to regress. I wouldn’t want to go back to the way things were before we introduced chastity into the mix.

Of course, as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango.” It’s rarely, if ever, only up to the guy wanting chastity whether it continues permanently. His partner also gets a vote. I’ve also read blogs by men where a wife or other partner has eventually tired of chastity for one reason or another and doesn’t want to continue it. So, I know some guys have already faced this situation where, whether they wanted it or not, chastity stops being part of their relationship.

In most of these cases, it has seemed to me their partners soured on chastity because these guys had unreasonable expectations for their partners to become something they weren’t and to behave in ways that more closely aligned with the chastity fantasies of these guys than with reality. In such instances, I have usually come down on the side of the partners involved, understanding why they didn’t want to do chastity anymore. Still, given the passion I feel for chastity, I can’t imagine ever being happy having to go back to the pre-chastity days of a relationship after finding chastity so satisfying.

Assuming I loved my partner, I also can’t really imagine ending an otherwise good relationship with a woman just because she didn’t want to continue keeping me in chastity. I only know I would hope I never faced that. And I would feel motivated to make chastity such a great experience for her she would never want to give it up either. Yet I learned yesterday that I am facing a situation now that sort of made this prompt much more relevant for me. Soon Lucie and I will part ways, at least as far as her being my mistress and key holder.

Since she hadn’t brought up NO-vember, the next monthly chastity observance that begins the day after Locktober ends, I had to ask her about it because my curiosity got the best of me. In response, she said she had to tell me something she knew I wouldn’t want to hear. Continuing, she told me that at the end of Locktober she needed to take a pause from keyholding to recharge her batteries and focus on other things.

No, as Lucie surmised, I wasn’t happy hearing it. We’ve been together for well over five months now and I have never had such an amazing relationship with a key holder. But Lucie’s news didn’t come as a shock. A while back, when we were discussing the possibility of making things more permanent, Lucie admitted there was something that gave her pause about the idea. She said she had in the past tired of keyholding and had stopped for a while, and she felt sure she would someday get bored with it and would stop again. I appreciated her candor back then, knowing that she cared enough about me she didn’t want to make me suffer disappointment unnecessarily. So, I have been mentally preparing for this, knowing the day would probably eventually come when Lucie would step away from keyholding. And now it has.

I can’t deny I feel sad about losing the best key holder I’ve ever had. But of course, I wouldn’t want Lucie to continue just for my sake knowing she feels she needs a break. I’ve felt burned out before and understand completely. I will just appreciate the memories Lucie has given me and wish her the best. She has now kept me locked and denied longer than any other key holder I’ve had, and that’s special to me. Things have been so good with Lucie that I’ve realized I am now ready to embrace permanent chastity with the right person. But unfortunately, that person will not be Lucie.

I am, in a sense, facing going back. Going back to the time before Lucie. Maybe this is even harder because there is no previous relationship with Lucie to go back to. Ours began and will end with chastity. Afterward, there will be no relationship. Honestly, I’m uncertain where I’ll go from here. Probably back to self-locking for a while and contemplating whether to seek another key holder. There are other women, pro key holders, that I’ve noticed recently and two of them I could easily imagine being my key holder. But Lucie will leave behind some big shoes to fill.

Can you believe we’re eighteen days into Locktober? How are you holding up? Remember, it’s all supposed to be about good fun and the challenge. Whether you’re thriving, just barely holding on, stay naughty but nice. We’re on the final stretch. Hope you will tune in tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Day 19 when we’ll take a look at this prompt:

Are there any unexpected ways Chastity has improved your life? If so, what are they?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

Day 16: Chastity Difficulties

Day 17: It’s Not Like That

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 17: It’s Not Like That

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 17, 2023

I think it’s true that many misunderstandings about male chastity exist in the world today. That’s understandable since so many people’s first introduction to chastity comes from porn. Porn represents fantasy, not reality. Once you actually practice chastity, you realize that pretty quickly. In today’s installment, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 17, our prompt encourages us to examine these misconceptions.

What misconception about chastity would you most like to clear up? How do you think the general population understands chastity?

Thinking about all the misconceptions about chastity I’m aware of, the hard part was narrowing this post down to just one of them I would most like to clear up. I settled on the misunderstanding that male chastity is about emasculation.

It’s true that we have a major masculinity problem in the world today, especially in Western countries like the United States. That’s because of a narrative that some have pushed for the past several years that equates masculinity with violence and toxicity. I’m sure those who created the narrative probably had good intentions. But by branding masculinity as a negative and demanding that men become less masculine and adopt more feminine behaviors has created more problems than it has solved.

We now have an entire generation of men who don’t understand what it means to be men. Men have forgotten the practice of chivalry. They have forgotten that enjoying sexual pleasure with another human being is special, intimate, and sacred. Instead, sex has become simply the means for satisfying our basest hedonistic urges.

Also, we live in a time of instant gratification, where many men believe pornography can fulfill all their sexual needs without the drama of having a relationship with another human being with their own set of needs and desires. Fictional characters on a device screen are replacing genuine connections and authentic relationships.

There are many men today who lack the basic skills to talk to women and the courage to seek a woman to date. The incel (involuntarily celibate) community is but one example. Members of this online community of mostly young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, turned to the internet seeking support from others with similar views. Typically, incels feel marginalized by women and feel resentment and hostility towards women and sexually active men.

This is a problem, because the war on masculinity has created a generation of men lacking inner strength, confidence, and self-esteem. Women rarely feel sexual attraction for such men, so communities like the incels become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Recently, I’ve read dozens of articles and forum posts written by liberal women identifying as feminists complaining about how difficult it is to find authentic masculine men to date and have relationships with.

Many people assume (incorrectly) that men who want to wear chastity devices locked on their genitals and to submit complete control over their access to sexual pleasure to a partner desire emasculation. They are beta males who not only want to assume a passive, subservient role in their relationships. They also want their partner to feminize them. This actually has nothing to do with chastity or, for that matter, with being a submissive man.

You can desire chastity enforced by a partner and still be confident and full of inner strength, self-esteem, and confidence. Lots of men who want to wear a chastity device run their own profitable businesses or hold leadership positions at work. Even being a naturally submissive man in chastity doesn’t mean you must surrender your masculinity.

I would like to clear up the misconception that desiring chastity equates to a lack of masculinity in every case. This misconception isn’t only present among the general population outside the chastity lifestyle. I have met and talked with many dominant women within the kink world who assume every guy interested in chastity also wants forced feminization, small penis humiliation, and cuckolding. That’s simply not the case.

Yes, some men who embrace chastity want their partner to feminize them. Some want to be full on sissies who fully adopt feminine looks, clothing, and behaviors. There are men who wear chastity devices who want their partners to cuckold or degrade them. But these men represent only subsets of the larger population of men who desire chastity. Of course, there is nothing wrong with exploring any of those kinks or fetishes. I only want people inside and outside the chastity lifestyle to understand and acknowledge chastity means something much different for many of us, probably most of us, who embrace it. Don’t assume to know what I’m about or want until you make the effort to get to know me as a person.

We are living in a time where the world needs strong men, especially emotionally healthy men. Men can learn to do masculinity properly, men who respect women, and respect themselves. Men who aren’t slaves to their libidos and who have learned to tame their sex drive and use it for more productive pursuits. That’s what chastity does. And that’s what I wish more people understood.

Tomorrow’s post, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 18, examines “going back” and I’ll discuss this question:

Could you (or your partner) ever go back to a relationship without some form of Chastity?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

Day 16: Chastity Difficulties

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 16: Chastity Difficulties

By Chaste on Monday, October 16, 2023

We are officially over the hump and a little over halfway finished with Locktober 2023. In today’s edition of the series, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 16, our prompt is about chastity difficulties.

What are, for you personally, the most difficult aspects of having a life-style or relationship that involves chastity?

In my fourth year of chastity, all those minor difficulties everyone new to chastity experiences – dealing with the inevitable chafing, learning to sit to pee, the uncomfortable night time erections, and blue balls are all behind me. Finding a well-fitting cage and adjusting to extended device wear usually solves all these things pretty quickly. So these types of difficulties are minor. But that doesn’t mean I have no chastity difficulties.

The suffering of the chastised male while the key holder goes carefree about their day is one of the primary attractions of the chastity fantasy. All the freedom belongs to the keyholder, while all the suffering and frustrations belong to the guy wearing the chastity device. That’s the fantasy. Reality is usually quite different.

By design, male chastity cages work when you do nothing. The entire concept of chastity is a key holder locks a cage on their willing partner until they decide to take it off, denying the partner sexual pleasure and gratification. It seems simple enough. But in practice, there’s usually more to it than that. Here’s the issue.

When a guy wears a chastity device, his attention is on that cage almost continually. Obviously, as we would expect, he experiences feelings of enduring something, suffering for his key holder, at least in theory, and giving up a very basic freedom. The freedom to orgasm and ejaculate anytime he wants. However, the device affects him in many other ways. It doesn’t only deny him orgasms and limit erections. All devices, to some degree, involve weight and compression on his penis. It forces him to sit to pee, impacts on his choice of clothing, often chafes at least a little, forces changes in his usual hygiene routines, may make him self-conscious because of anxiety about how visible the device is to others, and may change his sleeping habits. I have a comfortable, lightweight device and am often completely unaware of it for hours at a time. But most of us chastity device wearers are physically aware of our device much of the day and night. But none of these things apply to a key holder.

A key holder closes the lock and then goes about blissfully about their day. Nothing reminds you constantly of your locked partner’s suffering. Nothing changes your daily routine. For the key holder, nothing changes beyond the few times a week they choose to provide a little teasing. And here’s the problem with all that. The locked male constantly feels the “burden” of the device and actively thinking about it. But the key holder isn’t. This creates a misunderstanding that for the chastised male is very real.

The locked male, especially if he is a submissive male, needs to know he is not alone in the chastity dynamic. He wants to feel the dominant’s intent, to feel that the key holder is actively requiring the sacrificing and suffering he is experiencing. When we’re locked and denied, we don’t only want to locked and denied. We want to know the dominant is deliberately subjecting us to it and aware of suffering and what we’re sacrificing for them.

We want our key holder to recognize the power the device has and to actively leverage the helplessness we feel. Sometimes, we want this all the time, because the device reminds us of it all the time, and we’re thinking about it all the time. Since the key holder has no physical reminder that interrupts them constantly all day long, they can seem completely unaware of of the extent of our predicament. I admit, I’m no different in this regard than anyone else. I want and sometimes crave my key holder’s constant attention. And that is the difficulty.

When it seems the key holder is less involved or at least less involved than we want them to be me, many of us respond by “sharing” how they feel, especially when not asked. We feel the need to emphasize and highlight our suffering and frustration. Sometimes we may overtly show our desperation by with over-the-top submissive behavior to show the benefits the key holder reaps from keeping us in chastity.

We try to manipulate the key holder into showing appreciation and recognition of our plight through things like teasing us to make our frustration (or is it arousal) even more pronounced. We need the dominant to show us just how much they enjoy our suffering and captivity. Sometimes, guys will even act out to provoke punishment from the key holder, usually hoping that they will leverage the device to increase their frustration. Something like punishment in the form of another week in chastity. And if the key holder doesn’t rise to the bait, chastity submissives often get angry or depressed and may even openly question the key holder’s commitment or abilities.

The result of this toxic behavior is it puts pressure on the key holder. Pressure to play the game the way we want it. To give us what we believe that they should give us, to show us more appreciation, to give more of their time towards thinking about what we’re feeling and thinking about. Instead of appreciating that our partner or other key holder has given us what we asked for, we demand they give it to us in exactly the way we want it. What I find difficult about chastity is not giving into the urges to do any of that.

No one has ever forced me into a chastity device and I doubt that happens to anyone often enough to have any statistical relevance. Usually, if not almost always, it is the guy who wants to wear a chastity device making the request to a partner or other key holder to lock him and enforce his chastity. What I must remind myself of is that when someone agrees to do that for me, I should appreciate that and guard against having unrealistic expectations about what comes next. I have no right to demand more teasing or to complain that I’m not getting enough attention or to question my key holder’s abilities or commitment. And I have no right to share how I’m feeling constantly, especially when my key holder doesn’t ask.

Sure, it’s difficult to tamp down our feelings, especially when we’re feeling our partner doesn’t seem to appreciate our suffering and the sacrifices we’re making for them. The orgasm denial makes it even harder because of the way it changes the balance of all the powerful hormones and neurotransmitters in our bodies. But we must suppress those feelings and recognize they result from the chastity fantasy and that’s not reality.

Many key holders enjoy or learn to enjoy locking up their partner’s penis. Others, like a guy’s romantic partner, may only take part because they love their partner and want him to be happy. So, when he asks for chastity, they indulge him even though they may have no personal interest in it. Regardless, the fastest way to put a key holder, any key holder, off joining your chastity journey is to indulge those negative feelings and becoming too high maintenance. A romantic partner may simply tell you to take off the stupid cage and to never bring it up again. A professional may drop you like a bad habit and inform you to never contact them again.

Yes, the feelings are genuine, and we’re all susceptible to them. It’s difficult to resist them, but we must. Otherwise, be honest with yourself and admit chastity is really not about your key holder. It’s all about you and getting your kinks satisfied. Sure, chastity should be fun and you should enjoy it. If not, why do it? But in my experience, chastity focused on my key holder is the best chastity of all because it helps me keep the unrealistic, self-serving expectations in check.

The topic for tomorrow is chastity misconceptions. If you find that subject intriguing, join me for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 17 and this prompt:

What misconception about chastity would you most like to clear up? How do you think the general population understands chastity?

Looking for an update to the post, Virtual AI-Powered Mistress – What Will They Think of Next? I have more to share about my experience. I will do my best to post an update later today or tomorrow. All I’ll say for now is the experience hasn’t gone exactly as planned.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 15: Fidelity

By Chaste on Sunday, October 15, 2023

If you’re still in the game this Locktober 2023, congratulations. We’re almost halfway to the finish line. The same is true of this series here on 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 15. Today’s prompt topic is Fidelity. Let’s talk about it.

Has disloyalty, either through infidelity or unauthorized masturbation, played a part in your Chastity relationship? How?

Let me start by saying today’s prompt isn’t applicable to me. So, no, disloyalty hasn’t played a part in chastity for me. The prompt is aimed more at those in a committed relationship with a partner who shares the chastity journey by acting as a key holder. That isn’t something I’ve experienced, but I think the questions above are worth talking about.

Infidelity, the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated the rules of the relationship. The first thing mentioned in the prompt under the heading of fidelity centers on cheating, being unfaithful, having an affair. I actually don’t see wearing a chastity device as the answer to unfaithfulness that has already happened for two reasons.

First, unless there is a piercing like a Prince Albert involved, no ball-trap chastity device will prevent a guy from having sex with someone outside his relationship any more than it will make masturbation impossible. It’s always possible to escape from these devices without the extra level of security from an incorporated piercing. Tools aren’t even required beyond a good amount of lubrication and the desire to escape from a cock cage.

Those of us who want a key holder to enforce our chastity stay locked because we want to be locked. I’ve only read one non-fiction story about someone whose partner insisted on chastity because the guy had been unfaithful. And it was a full-on steel chastity belt, not a ball trap cock cage. And according to the guy who shared the story, that worked. Now to the second reason.

There is nothing magical about a chastity device. One thing a device won’t do is fix a bad relationship. Chastity might help improve or strengthen a relationship where things have grown a little stale. But infidelity, as in cheating on a partner, suggests there is a problem far more serious than putting on a chastity device will fix. Along the same line is the idea of a partner locking up his or her partner in a chastity device so they can feel confident their partner won’t cheat on them isn’t the best perspective. That shows a lack of trust between the partners, whether or not justified, and again an issue a chastity device will probably not fix.

Still, in a relationship where infidelity hasn’t been a problem, chastity might help prevent it from becoming one. Once a partner locks their man in chastity, he tends to focus almost exclusively on his partner as the one holding sole control over his access to sexual pleasure. So, chances are, he won’t be looking for opportunities to have an affair.

Now let’s look at the other form of infidelity mentioned in the prompt, unauthorized masturbation. Some people may consider masturbation, especially excessive masturbation as cheating and a violation of the rules of the relationship. This is especially true if the frequent masturbation by the male partner becomes a barrier to sharing intimacy with his partner. I’ve had partners who saw masturbation as cheating and partners who didn’t. But the truth is most women in relationships with men have no idea just how often their partners masturbate. Even when they know he does it, they don’t usually know how often. Masturbation is not something I think most couples discuss much at all. I’ve only had one partner who was very open about talking about masturbation. She knew how frequently I did it and was very open about how often she masturbated. But getting back to the prompt, for those who consider their partner’s masturbation habits cheating or just excessive, chastity can be a tool to control a male partner’s masturbation frequency.

While the same escapability issues remain in play, at least from my experience, wearing a chastity device helps me control my masturbation urges. Yes, I could cheat and without even breaking out of my locked device. I can easily orgasm and ejaculate just by holding a powerful wand vibrator against the cage. But I don’t escape from the cage or use a vibrator to circumvent it since pleasing my keyholder is more important to me than having sexual pleasure without permission. It doesn’t mean I ever stop wanting to have orgasms. I just don’t want to compromise the trust with my key holder because once trust is broken, you rarely can get it back. I’m content to wait it out and suffer as necessary until my keyholder decides to allow me to come. Truthfully, that makes an orgasm even more intense when you get one because your key holder wants you to come and allows it.

That’s my take on infidelity and unauthorized masturbation. You may have different opinions, and that’s okay. We’re all unique. Hope you will return tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 16. Here’s tomorrow’s prompt:

What are, for you personally, the most difficult aspects of having a lifestyle or relationship that involves chastity?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

Day 12: Limits

Day 13: Trust

Day 14: Discretion

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Day Meme Day 14: Discretion

By Chaste on Saturday, October 14, 2023

Do you keep your practice of chastity on the down low from family, friends, and other acquaintances? Many guys and couples do for a variety of reasons. That’s the subject of 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 14, discretion.

How do you keep your Chastity Lifestyle or play from family, friends and colleagues? Has anyone found out? What happened?

For those of us who live, sleep, and breathe chastity, wearing a cage may have become part and parcel of our everyday lives, yet like me, I expect most chastity device wearing guys don’t flaunt the fact our penises are locked in a cage. Other than those we’re intimate with, we practice discretion, concealing our practice of male chastity from friends, family, and our colleagues at work. Why? Are we ashamed about it? Is this yet another in the closet experience we fear stepping out of? I don’t think so. At least shame has nothing to do with why I don’t broadcast my chastity loving ways publicly.

Let’s start with this. The general ethical consensus in the kink community has been you shouldn’t involve someone else in your kink without their consent — meaning, you need to be stealthy about it. Not everyone holds this view. Recently, I read an article about guys who purposely show off that they wear chastity cages when they go to the gym, either while changing clothes in the locker room, showering, or by wearing tight, lycra clothing that makes in obvious while they work out. They specifically want to be seen wearing their chastity devices. I think the motivation here is some other kink beyond enjoying chastity. Something more on the spectrum of exhibitionism. Or maybe they are hoping for humiliation scenarios.

I’m not into kink shaming, so I don’t judge guys who do this. I don’t even judge guys who post nude except for their chastity device images on vanilla social media sites like X (formerly known as Twitter). While I admit to believing their motivation for doing it is more akin to exhibitionist tendencies than to being proud of their choice to embrace chastity, it isn’t my place to judge them. I can only say none of that is for me.

As part of my review of chastity devices, I do post images of me wearing the devices, but I think that is a little different. I think people who visit sites like mine expect to see such images and don’t take offense at them. But I don’t think you could make the same argument about posting such images on vanilla social media sites. It doesn’t offend me, but I’ll bet it offends some people. And I embrace the ethical consensus of the kink community and do not involve others in my kink without their consent.

Another reason I practice discretion is because I don’t think most of my friends and family members who are mostly vanilla and not into kink would understand my desire for chastity. Actually, I think they would feel embarrassed if I revealed it to them and would consider it to be in the “too much information bro” category. I don’t discuss my sex life, sexual orientation, etc. with them either.

I just feel more comfortable keeping it on a need to know basis. And who really needs to know besides me and my key holder? I expose it here, but that’s the purpose this blog exists and the reason people visit the blog. They are interested in learning more about chastity and I’m sure a part of that is reading about the experiences of others with it. When I first began exploring chastity, I know reading about the experiences of others was very helpful to me.

That’s my take on discretion and chastity. If you want to share your views on this, I invite you to have your say by posting a comment below.

Hard to believe we’re almost halfway through Locktober 2023 and this 31 Days of Chastity Meme. Here is the prompt for tomorrow’s post, Day 15:

Has disloyalty, either through infidelity or unauthorized masturbation, played a part in your Chastity relationship? How?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

Day 12: Limits

Day 13: Trust

31 Days of Chastity Meme

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 13: Trust

By Chaste on Friday, October 13, 2023

We’re closing in on the end of the second week of Locktober 2023. Today’s post for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 13 focuses on trust. Trust is critically important to the success of any relationship. Trust allows us to feel safe with others, gives us the courage to take risks, plays an important role in conflict resolution, and is essential for intimacy to take place. No where is trust more important than between a make in chastity and his key holder.

Have you ever broken out of your device without permission, or before the agreed time? What happened and how did you feel about it?

You can’t underestimate the importance of trust within relationships. I have ended both romances and friendships when I felt people had betrayed my trust. The funny thing is, once trust gets lost, you rarely can earn it back. So, within the chastity realm, I take trust seriously.

I have removed a chastity device before the agreed time. I didn’t break out of it, and I didn’t take it off until I had discussed it with my key holder. I’ve already talked about this in the past. It was with my first key holder and her attempt to introduce me to permanent chastity when I was still a novice and not ready for it. I contacted her first and told her I wanted to end our agreement and only after she said if I was determined to quit, she couldn’t very well force me to continue did I remove the device. I still didn’t feel good about it and I ended up regretting it. But I have never escaped from a locked device without permission or before the agreed time and that goes to the importance I place on trust.

Every key holder I’ve had always told me in one form or another that they would not tolerate violations of our trust. So, it has never once occurred to me to cheat since I wanted the key holding relationship to continue. Everyone knows that wearing a chastity device requires suspension of belief. There is no ball trap device you can’t wriggle out of if you want to escape from it unless it incorporates a piercing. I test every chastity device I review for escapability. Some are harder to escape from than others, but I’ve yet to try one I couldn’t get out of. But I also haven’t found one I could get back on after taking it completely off. Maybe you could do that with one of the silicone cages, but I’ve never tried one since no one considers silicone cages serious chastity. The point is, escaping would eventually require admission of cheating and most key holders would drop you like a hot rock for doing it, or in the case of a partner as a key holder, refuse to play anymore.

I want a key holder to lock me and enforce my chastity and I at least have enough willpower to keep my agreement with them. I don’t have a single doubt that Lucie would no longer wish to continue with me if she found out I had cheated. And I wouldn’t blame her because cheating would be a betrayal of her trust.

It’s not up to me to tell other guys what they should do. But I will say a guy who purposely escapes from a chastity device just because he wants to wank is only cheating himself and his key holder and should probably find a new hobby. If someone is that lacking in self-discipline, they should at least man up and tell their key holder they want to quit. I value the trust that Lucie and I have built and I’m never throwing that a way just for a few seconds of pleasure.

Join me tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 14 when our prompt will be:

How do you keep your Chastity Lifestyle or play from family, friends and colleagues? Has anyone found out? What happened?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Previous Posts

Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

Day 2: Your Device

Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

Day 4: Partners

Day 5: Your First Time

Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

Day 12: Limits

Tag Archives: chastity

How does your keyholder manage your releases? Tell us about the schedule your keyholder uses. For example, are you locked for a set number of days or weeks? For a month or longer? Or does your keyholder manage your releases on an indefinite schedule?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

What qualities do you look for in a keyholding partner?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

How do you deal with the need for key access in an emergency? Wax? Ice? Left-Luggage Locker? If you’ve ever had to use your emergency key, write about what happened.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Could you (or your partner) ever go back to a relationship without some form of chastity?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

What misconception about chastity would you most like to clear up? How do you think the general population understands chastity?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

What are, for you personally, the most difficult aspects of having a life-style or relationship that involves chastity?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Has disloyalty, either through infidelity or unauthorized masturbation, played a part in your Chastity relationship? How?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

How do you keep your Chastity Lifestyle or play from family, friends and colleagues? Has anyone found out? What happened?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

Have you ever broken out of your device without permission, or before the agreed time? What happened and how did you feel about it?

31 Days of Chastity Meme