If you are locked in a chastity device, observing International Male Chasity Day (the extended cut month-long version) for the first time, the worst is probably behind you. That’s because male chastity and the Goldilocks Principle have more in common than you think.
We are on Day 4 of the International Male Chastity Day extended cut version. If this is your first go at remaining locked in a chastity device for one full month, you may have already regretted not waiting until the real International Male Chastity Day on February 15. If you had, you would have only had to wear the device for an actual day instead of thirty of them.
Thinking about having twenty-seven more days to go until February 14 can be daunting. That’s especially true for guys who may have fantasized about being locked in a chastity cage, but they quickly unlocked after only a day or two when they have tried it in the past. But take heart. The worst of it is probably already behind you. There are three main phases you go through when you experience wearing a chastity device for an extended period.
Just fourteen more days to go in January, and then it’s on to February.
The Irritation Phase
The first day of wearing a chastity cage is often euphoric. It’s a new adventure you’ve embarked upon, for many the first time, and spirits are high. Success already seems easily within grasp. But that all changes usually on Day 2. Without a doubt, Days 2 and 3 are the toughest, just as they are when starting a diet or giving up tobacco and for the same reason. You are denying your body something it has been accustomed to getting when it wants it. It’s an uncomfortable change, and your body doesn’t like it. So, like everyone who has ever gone on a diet or tried to quit smoking, you feel frustrated and irritable.
Instead of distracting you from focusing on your penis, the cage is only a constant reminder of it and how badly you want to satisfy your urge for release. It can feel as though you have descended into one of Dante’s nine circles of hell. The more often you’ve been accustomed to having orgasms and ejaculating from sex or masturbation, the harder Days 2 and 3 are usually. But around Day 4, for most of us, things start to improve.
The Transitional Phase
The Transitional Phase starts for most men around Day 4. Your body slowly begins to realize that orgasm and ejaculation are not imminent, and it’s a waste of resources to keep expecting and demanding relief. Eventually, this realization transitions into acceptance, both mental and physical acceptance. Of course, you still suffer bouts of the intense need for release and frustration when you don’t get it, but they pass quickly.
The Goldilocks Phase
The Goldilocks principle is named by analogy to the children’s story “The Three Bears,” in which a young girl named Goldilocks tastes three different bowls of porridge and finds she prefers porridge that is neither too hot nor too cold but has just the right temperature. The concept of “just the right amount” is easily understood and can be applied to a wide range of disciplines, including developmental psychology, biology, astronomy, economics, and engineering. It also applies to orgasm denial when practicing male chastity. This is the phase where chastity is not too hard, not to easy, but just right.
Goldilocks Explained
Desire, the first phase of the sexual response cycle, is driven by the desire for sexual gratification. The evolutionary basis for this stems from our need to reproduce. A need shared among all living things. Through reproduction, organisms pass on their genes and thus contribute to the perpetuation of their species.
During this phase, changes occur in the male body. For example, muscle tension increases, heart rate quickens, breathing gets faster, blood flow to the genitals increases, the testicles swell, the scrotum tightens, and men begin secreting a lubricating liquid (pre-ejaculate). In the image, note the redness of my genitals in comparison to the tone of the surrounding skin areas, the swollen testicles, and the tight scrotum. These are the desire phase changes I’ve described.
Chemical changes also occur during the desire phase. For example, dopamine, produced by the hypothalamus, a particularly well-publicized player in the brain’s reward pathway, is released when we grow aroused. Along with high dopamine levels, a related hormone, norepinephrine, is released. These chemicals make us feel giddy, energetic, and euphoric. After orgasm and ejaculation (the resolution phase of the sexual response cycle), the release of these natural chemicals stops. But when you’re locked in a chastity device and unable to orgasm and ejaculate, the release of these chemicals continues until the reward pathways are marinated in them. Then, your brain starts to realize that desire itself is pleasurable, and so orgasm denial becomes its own reward. It’s almost as if you’re floating on a blissful cloud of chaste pleasure, and that moves you past the constant need for release.
In the Goldilocks Phase, your expectations for impending release have been lowered enough that you stop fighting chastity, but not so low that you become depressed. Most men transition into Goldilocks by Day 14. In this phase, you are free to simply enjoy chastity, to experience the sensation of your ever-growing arousal and ever-intensifying desire. The desire itself becomes pleasure. Of course, this will be made a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. But don’t worry, they pass quickly.
The Goldilocks Phase lasts between about three to four weeks. During this phase, you will slowly grow more and more aroused and may experience submissive feelings toward your key holder and a greater desire to please them.
Spend Your Time in Chastity Well
It’s important to spend your time in chastity well. Time is a gift, and chastity grants you more of it by taking away that idle pastime of mindless masturbation and porn watching. So, please don’t waste it. Here are a few ideas to help you make the most of the gift and productively pass the next twenty-seven days.
- Read some books. If you haven’t finished a good book in years, now is the time. You should be able to read several before February 14 arrives.
- Learn a new skill. Have you ever thought about learning a foreign language? Now is your chance. Download an app like Babbel. With almost a penis-free month ahead of you, you could easily acquire a second language.
- Exercise. Start a new exercise program. There is literally no recreational exercise activity you can’t do while wearing a chastity cage. In a month, you could be fitter and have dropped a few extra pounds.
- Get started on spring cleaning early. Remember that closet or garage you’ve been planning to clean out and organize. Now you have the time to do it.
The point is, find something to distract you from thinking about your penis for a few more weeks and simply enjoy the blissful dopamine buzz.