Is Amanda the way a permanently satisfying keyholder relationship lies? I’m beginning to think so after discovering 5 things I already love about my new keyholder.
I’ve only just met Amanda and we don’t begin until December 1, but I’ve already learned a handful of things about her that cause my hopes to soar that I’m headed for a permanently satisfying keyholder relationship.
Finding an ideal remote keyholder often feels like you’re on a quest for the holy grail. And all too often, just when you think you’ve found it, something dashes your hopes. That happened with Lucie. She suited me perfectly, yet after too brief a time, Lucie had to step away from keyholding to attend some pressing personal matters in her real world life. What I had hoped would become a permanent arrangement, failed to materialize.
My first attempt at finding a new keyholder hasn’t worked out the way I had hoped. The chemistry just hasn’t developed. Since it has become increasingly difficult to find potential online keyholders the way I’ve done it in the past, I turned to the Chaster app. And then I met Amanda.
After a couple of chats, things already looked positive. But with 9 days left to go with NNN and my liaison with Michele, to my surprise Amanda isn’t just sitting back waiting for December 1. She has stayed engaged with me and we’ve chatted every day since we met. Amanda continues probing me for more information, not only about the things I like, but why I like them, and how they make me feel. And in the process, I’ve discovered five things that I already love about my new keyholder.
Amanda Really, Really Loves Chastity
Yesterday, Amanda gushed about how much she loves having full control over a man’s penis and his “primal” urges for sexual pleasure and why. Having complete dominion over a man’s erections and orgasms. In fact, she warned me if we continue together after the 7-day trial we’ve agreed to, I should prepare myself for permanent chastity. Here is why I feel this is so important.
There are lots of different views about male chastity from the perspective of dominant women. As I’ve seen in many Fetlife community discussions, it seems most dominant women are completely indifferent about if not outright hostile to the idea of male chastity involving the wearing of chastity devices. While some tolerate or fully embrace the idea of keeping their man locked up, many others absolutely despise the idea of their man wearing a chastity device.
While the latter, as femdoms almost universally do, insist on orgasm control and controlling their man’s access to sexual pleasure, they insist a man should be fully capable of controlling himself and doesn’t need a piece of metal or plastic locked on his genitals to do it. He only needs to obey his dominant. And, they add, no chastity device is foolproof and totally effective in preventing a man from having an orgasm. Many of these women see chastity devices simply as toys catering to yet another silly male penis-centric fetish interest and want nothing to do with it.
Even among some of the pro keyholders I’ve had, I quickly realized they felt no genuine interest in chastity and only offered keyholding because there are men willing to give them financial tributes for doing it. None of those experiences felt very enjoyable. So, it is important to me to have a keyholder who is as serious and passionate about chastity as I am, and Amanda definitely ticks that box.
Amanda Seeks a Permanent Relationship
The second thing I love about Amanda is she has told me from the start that she wants another full-time submissive man. She offers temporary chastity locks on the Chaster app, but she offers the week of consideration we’ve agreed to only to someone seriously seeking a full-time Domme. And that is exactly what I’m looking for, a permanent arrangement, so I can put the days of looking for another keyholder every few months behind me. I found a lot of benefits from self-locking in the past, but after my experiences with Lucie, I know I now want chastity controlled by a dominant woman. I really can’t imagine going back to self-locking anymore.
Amanda is an Actual Domme
Like Lucie, Amanda is an actual Domme with IRL experience in her local kink community. And again, from experience, I know women like Amanda offer a more comprehensive and meaningful dynamic than those women who only offer online chastity keyholding services and have little interest or experience with the wider world of kink. There is greater variety in the dynamic with an actual Domme who has done more than just online keyholding. That’s because they seek not only to enforce someone’s chastity, but want to explore their own kinks, desires, and needs with a submissive partner. That only makes chastity more meaningful for me because I want it to be focused on the keyholder.
Chastity, with a keyholder for me, has never been something where my greatest interest was only getting my own kinks satisfied. I don’t see a Domme as a kink dispenser. I have far more respect for dominant women than that. It is vitally important to me that my keyholder also gets her desires and needs satisfied and not just through financial tributes. I believe already that Amanda will offer that opportunity.
Amanda Is a Generous and Caring Person
Even with knowing her only a short while, Amanda has already shown to my satisfaction she is a generous and caring person. I have already remitted the small tribute she required for the 7-day consideration lock and I wouldn’t have faulted her at all had she chosen not to engage with me until December 1 once we closed the deal. She already had a list of my kink interests, limits, and toys to use for designing the tasks she will give me to do. But she didn’t do that.
Aware of how little I paid for the 7-days, I felt no entitlement to her attention until we start on December 1. But Amanda has started conversations with me every day, generously giving me her time and attention out of her interest in getting to know me better. Her interest in me as a person has been so clear. She reminds me quite a lot of Lucie in how generous and caring a woman she is. And that impresses me so much.
We Share Many Common Kink Interests
I’ve learned during the past week that Amanda and I share many other common kink interests besides just chastity. No, we don’t match perfectly. No two unique people ever do. As one example, I think Amanda enjoys enforced feminization a great deal more than I do. I’m fine with it in moderation, the way Lucie used it for the mild humiliation effects it has on me. Feminization just holds no appeal for me since I’m not a sissy-type submissive man and I’m not into CD. Nothing wrong with any of that, but I don’t find behaving or dressing as a woman arousing in the least. But Amanda has already gained my trust that she will respect my limits and will compromise even on things she finds interesting and fun to explore. And, based on our conversations, I feel we have enough common interests that neither of us will feel bored or short-changed.
Honestly, meeting Amanda has made NNN more difficult because I’m so excited for December 1 to arrive that I can’t wait for NOvember to end. Maybe I haven’t met Lucie’s equal, but the more I get to know Amanda, the more I feel convinced I’ve had the good fortune of meeting another special Domme.