Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests men and women have a similar ability to resist sexual temptation, but men’s resistance fails more often because they experience stronger sexual impulses. Here on the third day of Locktober 2022, many guys who took up the challenge are feeling the effects of the conflict between their pledge to stay locked for thirty-one days and their biological drives to seek release. So, here we offer 6 fantastic Locktober temptations hacks than can help guys keep their month-long chastity pledge.
Days 2 and 3 of chastity are the most irritating phase for most guys. Why? For the same reason that the first two or three days of a diet or the attempt to overcome a habit like smoking are most fraught with temptations that so often produce failure. Transitioning from getting exactly what your body is accustomed to getting and demands to not getting it is always an uncomfortable change and your body doesn’t like it. It can seem that every five minutes your body demands, “I need! Give it to me now!” As frustration and irritation mount, all a guy thinks about is his need for getting immediate relief.
The good news is, most of those who make it through Day 3 will find the going gets easier, at least until near the end. But that doesn’t mean the temptation to quit and unlock or cheat won’t raise its ugly head again when you least expect it. Here then are six proven strategies to help you deal with the temptation to bail on your pledge when it comes.
Just Breathe
Deep breathing exercises can get you through a surprising number of bouts of temptation. You can use the same techniques health providers teach those who suffer from stress or anxiety. Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Take slow and regular breaths in through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth slowly. It helps to put one of your hands on your chest and the other on your stomach while doing this relaxation technique. Your stomach should move more than your chest when you breathe in deeply. So, watch and sense your hands as you breathe in. The hand on your chest should remain almost still, while the hand on your stomach should move noticeably. Repeat this process at least 10 times or until you feel temptations lessen.
Set Your Mind Straight
When your body whines, “I need it,” dispute that nonsense by interrupting the thought process and vigorously challenging it. Ask yourself, “Could I resist this temptation if someone offered me a thousand bucks?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, you will reply, “Of course.” That means you have the power to resist the temptation to give in and seek release. You just have to muster the will to do it.
Affirm Your Resilience
Anytime you start feeling chastity is too hard and you can’t do it, say “Yes, I can.” Remind yourself in no uncertain terms that you have resisted temptation successfully many times before, and you can do it again. Visualize success, not failure.
Walk it Off
Research shows that a brisk walk reduces many cravings. For others, a slower, meditative walk works. Either way, it is a healthy way to distract yourself so that you don’t give in to temptation. Aim for a fifteen to twenty-minute walk, or if you already walk regularly, go even longer.
Distract-Distract-Distract
Do the opposite of vegetating on the couch or in front of your computer screen dwelling on how badly you need release. Get up and get active, doing something you genuinely enjoy. Go to the gym, go to the mall, go to a movie, call or text a friend. This is another strategy for distracting yourself when your brain is telling you to give up and get relief. Find a distracting activity that fully engages both your hands and your mind is another excellent technique. Work a puzzle, play a video game, do some yard work, scrub a floor, anything that will take your mind off it when those temptations persist.
Make Giving in Inconvenient
Especially for those without a keyholder, making it inconvenient to access the key to your chastity device is one of the best ways to combat the temptation to unlock. There is the old tried and true freezing the key in a block of ice technique. That way, if temptation strikes, you must wait until the ice melts before you can access the key. Often, the frantic urge to get relief will dissipate long before that happens. Personally, when I first tried self-locking, I found it most effective to get the key out of my home and out of reach. I’ve done things like leaving the key to my device in my safe deposit box, in a desk drawer at work, or locked up in my gym locker. Even when the key was somewhere that I could access it at most any time, it still meant I had to get in the car and drive there to retrieve it. That provided just enough inconvenience that the path of least resistance was to let the crisis of temptation pass. It’s the same principle as when you’re on a diet and craving a chocolate bar or some other treat that will blow your diet. If you have to drive to the store to buy a candy bar or container of ice cream, it’s easier to resist the temptation than if you already had it at home. The same is true of a chastity key.
Bouts of temptation to unlock early and get relief often last for five minutes or less, and using one or more of these techniques should allow you to get past them and cross the Locktober finish line victorious.