A recent industry survey I saw recently says that male chastity devices (combination of full belts and cock cages) ranked third globally in a current list of the top five most popular sex toys. That suggests normalization of male chastity is underway. In other words, male chastity is practiced more widely and becoming more mainstream and less of a kink activity or taboo. That’s a good thing, right? Or is it? Today’s topic is about what I find so fascinating about the normalization of male chastity.
Here on the eve of Locktober 2022, I’m contemplating a spirited discussion I read last night in the forums at Chastity Mansion. Just from what I’ve seen on social media and the number of visitors this website and others devoted to discussing male chastity get daily, I’ve felt for a long while now that male chastity is becoming increasingly normal. Once relegated to the kink community, the practice of male chastity is less taboo. More individual guys and couples who might otherwise consider themselves more vanilla than kinky have embraced chastity devices. Without giving it much thought, I suppose my default position has always been the more normal and mainstream male chastity becomes, the better. So, reading some opinions in the forum discussion surprised me. There were many guys who weighed in on the discussion that felt that normalization of male chastity was a negative. Here’s why.
Male Chastity as a Kink or Taboo
For many, viewing male chastity through the lens of kink or taboo is an important part of their enjoyment of the experience. For some, it’s the most important part of it. These guys feel if a guy locking up his cock becomes normal, they may lose interest in doing it.
On one level, I can understand this. Different guys have different motivations for wearing a chastity device. As an example, submissive guys see it as a satisfying submissive act.
There are also guys who are into kinky activities like SPH and cuckolding. If you fetishize shrinking your penis and entertain the illusion that wearing a cock cage permanently shrinks your peen (which it doesn’t, actually) then your interest in chastity may be mostly a satisfaction of your kink.
The same is true of those who combine wearing a chastity device as an integral part of engaging in cuckolding or their enjoyment of being on the receiving end of pegging.
Even guys who wear a chastity device to work or other public spaces because it makes them feel a little naughty knowing that they secretly are wearing a device beneath their clothing are approaching chastity from a kink perspective. Often, they may enjoy fantasizing about what people they encounter in public or the workplace would think or say if they only knew. Nothing wrong with any of that, of course.
But there are many guys and couples these days who don’t embrace chastity because they are interested in breaking taboo or satisfying a kink. And there is nothing wrong with that either. I count myself as part of that group.
Vanilla Male Chastity Perspective
It’s probably a safe assumption that those of us who embrace chastity from a more vanilla point of view are those who are the most enthusiastic about the normalization of chastity. And why our reasons might not be exactly the same, I think some commonalities exist. Here are two reasons I think normalization of male chastity is a positive.
Male Chastity Benefits Women
While many men may initially find having a partner locking their cocks attractive because it satisfies a fairly common male fantasy, I believe strongly that women gain more benefits from locking their partners in a chastity device than the men wearing the devices do. Sure, there are benefits for both. I just think there are more benefits for women. So, the more common it becomes in our society for men to wear chastity devices, the less weird or disgusting ordinary women will find it. To a significant degree, fear of being judged negatively by their partners is the main reason so many men find it difficult, if not impossible, to tell their partners they want to be locked. The more normalized male chastity becomes, the less this will be a problem.
There is a femdom blogger I’ve followed for a while now whose writing I find brilliant. Not only is she massively intelligent, she is also deliciously kinky and expresses her thoughts wonderfully. Honestly, I have a shameless crush on her, though of course I wouldn’t dream of contacting her to admit it. But she recently wrote something that disappointed me.
She stated that it’s a well-known fact that men vastly exaggerate how beneficial male chastity is for women. With all due respect, that simply isn’t true. Frankly, I think it’s impossible to overestimate how much locking her partner benefits a woman. I can only assume the blogger, while she has lots of experience with submissive men within the framework of female led D/s relationships, hasn’t much experience with male chastity or she wouldn’t hold the opinion she does. At least not long-term, 24/7 chastity experience. I’ve communicated with too many women who lock their partners, and have read too many books and blogs by women that extol the benefits for women from male chastity that I know those benefits are not exaggerated. And I believe more women should get those benefits, ordinary women. Not just femdom women or those on the kinky end of the sexual spectrum.
Male Chastity Benefits Men
The same blogger wrote in the same post that men are not ruled by their libidos, not in the sense that their sex drive is anything like a life-sustaining drive to satisfy hunger by getting food. The presumption is men don’t need to wear chastity devices to control their libidos. They just don’t try to control their urges for sexual gratification. Again, I respectfully disagree with her opinion, but I don’t fault her or respect her any less for having it.
The truth is, as a woman, even as a dominant woman, she hasn’t any real understanding of the male sex drive. She is no more capable of understanding the male libido and its effects for men than I am of understanding why women have so much more control over their libidos since I’m male and have no frame of reference. The male sex drive, thanks to many thousands of years of evolution designed to ensure the survival of the species, is very much akin to a life-sustaining drive to satisfy hunger. It’s almost a perfect analogy. That’s why men spend an inordinate amount of time seeking to satisfy their needs when their brains and bodies demand it. I make no excuses for the power my sex drive has over my behavior, but I’ve never denied it because you can’t. You must be a male to understand it. And I have seen nothing more useful in helping me to control the tyranny of my male libido than chastity devices. The more normalized male chastity becomes, the more willing ordinary men who are not necessarily submissive or interested in kink will be to try chastity and benefit from it. And chastity makes us better, better men and better partners.
So, those are my two main reasons for believing normalizing male chastity is a positive thing that I hope continues. But what about you? Do you see normalization of male chastity as a positive or a negative?
Locktober Eve 2022
We’re just hours away from the kickoff of Locktober 2022. Amazingly, I received the shorter HF001 device I ordered from Badassworkroom yesterday, just in time. I tried it out yesterday and again today with two different base rings and goodness gracious! It’s perfect! As hoped, the shorter cage solved the “sticking peen” problem. So, I’m wearing it for Locktober. Weirdly, even though I’m locked all the time, Locktober still excites me. One of my favorite pro keyholders has graciously agreed to supervise this year. Honestly, I have the self-discipline now to complete Locktober or any length of locked period I choose without having a keyholder. But it makes Locktober so much more arousing and satisfying to have one. I’ll remove the device I’m wearing now at 10:00 P.M. and then I’ll put on the new HF-001 so that I can turn the key at the stroke of midnight. Then I will lock the key in the safe, surrendering control to my keyholder for 31 days.
Good luck to all taking part this year. Don’t back up, don’t back down. That’s the only way I know…