locktober Archives - Cut to the Chaste

Things I Wish I’d Known Before Trying Locktober the First Time

By Chaste on Saturday, September 30, 2023

With the start only hours away, many of those trying Locktober the first time may understandably feel a little nervous. Let’s talk about what to expect.

We’re all unique and respond to things in different ways. But I think there are commonalties in every first time Locktober experience. So what I’ll share here from my experiences probably won’t differ much from what everyone experiences. While I had about ten months of experience wearing chastity devices under my belt before trying Locktober the first time, here are things I wish I’d known back then.

I suspect most guys who have the option will have an orgasm sometime today before beginning Locktober tomorrow. Sadly, I won’t be among them by Lucie’s decree. But for those who do, assuming they made a wise choice when sourcing their chastity device and it’s reasonably comfortable, the first day of Locktober, while exciting, will be pretty much a nothing burger. That’s because after a man has an orgasm and ejaculates, his sexual desire and arousal drops to their lowest levels. We’ve all experienced it. Interest in sex evaporates. That means the first day shouldn’t be difficult for anyone, although the first night might be for those who have never tried sleeping while wearing a chastity device.

The length of the refractory period after orgasm varies from guy to guy. But, most males, within 24 hours of having an orgasm, are back to the sexual excitement phase of the sexual response cycle. Slowly, sexual desire climbs as the prostate refills, and arousal returns. We barely notice it at first, but by the second and third days, most guys are thinking about and feeling pretty ready for another orgasm. That’s why the second and third days are often the most difficult and irritating days of Locktober for most of us. Also, guys who spent little time getting acquainted with their chastity device or worse, chose a poor fitting one will probably experience some discomfort or soreness, especially where the base ring sits beneath their balls. This discomfort or soreness only exacerbates the irritation factor.

Days two and three are usually the most difficult for the same reason that the first few days of any diet are when people are most prone to temptation and failure. Whether we’re talking diets or chastity, we’re transitioning from giving our bodies exactly what our bodies expect to not. It’s an uncomfortable change and our bodies don’t like it. It can seem like every five minutes our bodies demand that we give them what they have become accustomed to getting and want. Thus, the frustration and irritation mount.

Usually, sometime on day four, depending on the man, the body slowly realizes that orgasm and ejaculation are not imminent and it’s a waste of resources to continue expecting sexual release at any moment. It is then that we stabilize into physical and mental acceptance and things feel at least a little easier. Those who make it through the fourth day and remain committed to successfully completing Locktober will usually attain their goal.

After day four or five, expect to arrive at what some term the “Goldilocks phase.” This phase is when the denial of chastity doesn’t feel easy exactly, but not too hard. It feels just about right. Your body’s expectations for sexual release have lowered enough that it stops fighting denial. In this phase, you’re free to simply enjoy the experience of chastity, to experience the sensations of ever-growing desire and intensifying arousal. For men, sexual desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops when locked in a chastity device and denied, though made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. No worries. Those will pass quickly.

Of course, those who try to go straight into 31 days of wearing a chastity device without practicing and getting acclimated to their device in advance might find the going a little harder until after the first week or ten days have passed. That’s because they will probably experience some amount of chafing and soreness where the base ring contacts the delicate skin of the scrotum. All a guy can do is tough it out with the liberal application of a good lubricant until the skin toughens a little and the discomfort dissipates.

The Goldilocks phase usually lasts for about three to four weeks for most males. During this period, a guy slowly gets more and more aroused, and may experience more and more intense submissive feelings toward his keyholder if he has one. Depending on the man, some may float to the finish line on a cloud of intense arousal. But others may find things get difficult again the last week. Those guys will just have to grit their teeth and find the willpower to persevere to the end. But the key point is, with sufficient commitment to succeed, any guy can survive 31 days of denial and wearing a chastity device that fits him reasonably well.

I recommend open, cage-type chastity devices for Locktober that the wearer can keep clean with daily showers without removing them. I’ve never had a problem wearing a cage-type stainless steel device for 31 days straight without removing it for cleaning. This year, I’m wearing a Kink3D Cobra, my first Locktober in a plastic device. But like most of my stainless steel favorites, the Cobra has plenty of openings to allow for cleaning with my handheld shower head.

After 85 days in the Cobra, Lucie unexpectedly told me to remove it last evening long enough for a thorough cleaning of the device and my body. I discovered no foul odor, no built up gunk, and a healthy penis I hadn’t seen in 85 days. Hello, old friend! Of course, after only a 20-minute respite, long enough to clean and dry everything, Lucie locked me right back up. But at least, I’m going into Locktober tomorrow with a squeaky clean cage.

Even if you are trying Locktober the first time this year, you needn’t feel nervous now that you know what to expect. Just take it a day at a time. Good luck! You’ve got this.

locktober

Going Into Locktober Locked and Denied, Just Like Every Other Day

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I learned from Lucie this morning that I would go straight into Locktober locked and denied, without a release. Just like every other day. And I actually felt better about it than I had expected.

During our chat this morning, Lucie asked me this question.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how desperate are you to have an orgasm before starting Locktober?”

Weirdly, although I’ve felt pretty desperate for about the past week, I found I had to think about it for a moment before answering. I discovered I was feeling a little like Natalie Imbruglia again.

“I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things
That I can’t touch. I’m torn.”
— “Torn,” song by Natalie Imbruglia

After 83 days caged and 149 days orgasm-free, I realized what a contented place I was in. Finally, I told Lucie I would rate my desperation level at about 6.

She said, “But you’ve been saying for days your arousal and frustration are at peak levels?”

I told her that was still true. But when I thought about how pleasurable the state of constant arousal feels and how intensely submissive it makes me feel, I just wasn’t sure I felt all that desperate to trade it all for a few seconds of pleasure. After all, we had spent weeks and weeks getting me to this point and, for just a few fleeting moments of pleasure, I would have to start all over again.

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “Those are precious feelings.” She smiled and continued. “Indeed, it would be a shame to jerk it all away from you.”

Then she decided. I would go straight into Locktober without a release. I felt strangely at peace with her decision.

Men, including me, think of sexual pleasure in terms of their orgasms. Understandable since orgasms feel good. But the more time I spend locked in chastity, especially since meeting Lucie, experiencing those short moments of jouissance, those brief spasms of ecstasy, just don’t seem so important anymore. I’ve begun to wonder if Lucie hasn’t led me to discover an entirely new perspective on sexual pleasure? Perhaps she has permeated every aspect of my sexuality to where physical pleasure for me now looks like pleasure for Lucie.

Of course, Lucie would have decided alone about whether I got an orgasm before Locktober. I would not have had any real input in the decision. And yet I feel certain Lucie would have given my feelings some consideration or she wouldn’t have asked me the desperation question. If I had said my desperation level was a 10, that doesn’t mean she would have allowed me an orgasm. But I got the impression I had pleased her with my answer and explanation and that felt like an achievement.

Once she told me I wouldn’t get an orgasm before Locktober, I said, only half-jokingly, “Maybe you should just cum for both of us from now on, Mistress.”

Lucie smiled again and said, “I already do.”

locktober

Looking for a Last Minute Locktober Keyholder?

By Chaste on Sunday, September 24, 2023

With Locktober only a week away, time is growing short to find a keyholder for those who don’t want to go it alone. So, I thought I would pass on an interesting opportunity that I just became aware of for anyone who might be interested.

Having done Locktober both ways, self-locked and with a keyholder, I know from experience the latter is much more enjoyable than the former. If you’re planning to do Locktober this year, but haven’t found a keyholder, perhaps M. H. Macdonald can help you out.

Femdom M. H. Macdonald is best known for her entertaining chastity and female domination fiction books, but this year she is offering keyholding for Locktober.

The service is NOT free, so if you are a staunch believer in not paying to play, you can stop reading now. But for those not against paying for keyholding services, Macdonald has made an interesting offer. Instead of paying a direct tribute, all interested guys must do is buy $31.00 worth of her books and provide proof of purchase, and she will supervise your Locktober lock up. At only a dollar a day, that is about as cheap as paid keyholding services get.

Rest assured, M. H. Macdonald knows her way around a chastity device. She is a dominant woman with a submissive partner who she keeps locked in chastity. And anyone who can write such entertaining and detailed femdom fiction has all the imagination and creativity a good keyholder needs. Since I haven’t had her as a keyholder, I can’t very well offer an unqualified endorsement of M. H. Macdonald. But I will say I’m confident enough of her abilities that if I didn’t already have a Mistress, I would be more than willing to try Macdonald’s service which I think is a generous offer.

This deal seems like a win – win. Those who enjoy femdom and chastity fiction will get some entertaining books to read plus the keyholding and M. H. Macdonald will sell a few books, something all authors enjoy. Most of the books sell for $2.99, with a few priced at only $1.00. So a guy would need to buy around ten titles to meet the $31.00 threshold. Also, you will need a FetLife account since that’s where Macdonald is accepting applications and the platform she will use to enforce the chastity of successful applicants.

I suggest you first message Macdonald on FetLife to express your interest before purchasing the books to make certain she has room for you.

Summary of Macdonald’s offer:

Contact Macdonald by DM through her Fetlife page to apply.
Purchase $31.00 worth of her femdom/chastity fiction books on Amazon. You can find a complete list of her books here (twenty-eight titles so far).
Send a second DM with your proof of purchase (Amazon receipt).
Lock up on October 1 and submit the required daily proof of lock photos to Macdonald throughout Locktober. (Macdonald requires either the use of a numbered plastic lock on your device or a lock box with a timer lock to secure your keys).

For complete details of Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding offer, read her post on FetLife here. (Free FetLife membership required to access).

If anyone uses Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding service, I would be grateful to hear about your experience with it and am happy to post any reviews anyone will share.

Disclaimer: I have no commercial affiliation with M. H. Macdonald beyond being a fan of her fiction books I’ve purchased with my own money. I received no gratuity or other consideration from Macdonald in connection with this post.

locktober

Prepping for Locktober

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Only twelve days remain before the start of the holy month of Locktober, the crown jewel of male chastity. In less than two weeks, determined (or forced) penis owning humans everywhere hope to be on their metal as they face the annual 31-day crucible that will reveal whether they possess the classical virtue of fortitude — or not. Whoever takes part in Locktober this year, I will certainly be among them.

As Locktober draws nigh, I’ve felt increasingly anxious about what Lucie has planned. Not that I’ve doubted for a moment that we would take part in Locktober. My concern was more about whether she had any plan to unlock me and allow me a release before October 1. After all, by month’s end, she will have kept me locked for 88 days and orgasm free for 154 days, all while subjecting me to intense teasing that at times has bordered on cruelty. Just when I had girded myself last Sunday to broach the subject, Lucie brought it up first.

After telling me she had been thinking about Locktober and was much looking forward to our first Locktober together, she informed me she had a prepping for Locktober plan to ease us into it. Lucie then said she was replacing our current teasing and denial program with a new ten to fourteen day prepping program, during which she would give me two chances to earn a release. So far, so good. But then she crushed my hopes by adding this caution.

“But it is very possible that you will fail both opportunities. Then you would have to go into Locktober without a release.”

When she first mentioned giving me two opportunities to earn a release, I admit to feeling suspicious. That’s because after four months, I have learned well how her devious mind works. Munificence is not among Lucie’s many endearing attributes. Of course, that isn’t her fault. She is a proper sadist and what sadist is a sadist who misses any opportunity to deal out mental cruelty to her chastity slave? So, I strongly suspect Lucie has some trick up her sleeve that guarantees I’ll fail whatever opportunities for release she offers. And, of course, she didn’t offer any details about the “opportunities.” As Lucie is fond of reminding me:

“Locked boys needn’t spend their time worrying about the things over which they have no control.”

So, since the weekend we have embarked on her new diabolical teasing and denial plan that is even more intense than what we had already been doing for about the past nine weeks. So far it has featured more intense edging sessions and a stronger focus on erotic humiliation.

Not that I don’t admire and appreciate Lucie’s seemingly inexhaustible creativity, but it doesn’t feel like we’re easing into anything, much less Locktober. I could be wrong, but I’ve already accepted I’m probably going into Locktober with no unlock and no orgasm. But, hey. No one ever said life is fair, right?

Accordingly, I have made my mental preparations for Locktober as well as they can be made. If I must endure another 31 days of enforced chastity after this month’s close, so be it. I once heard this stoic line in a movie that I liked.

“One may stare into the light until one becomes the light.”

Perhaps I can use that bit of moral relativism to get through Locktober without a release. It represents a common observation of Nietzsche and others that we become like that we fight against, since we must do so in order to survive. I suppose that is just as true for denial.

Well wishes to all who are prepping for Locktober.

locktober

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

By Chaste on Tuesday, August 29, 2023

“It’s the most wonderful time
Yes the most wonderful time
Oh the most wonderful time
Of the year.”

No, I’m not talking about the holidays that the above lyrics refer to, but the most wonderful time of the year for those of us who enjoy having a chastity device locked on our genitals for the entire month of October. Locktober 2023 is coming.

Only three days left in August and then only 30 days remain until the start of Locktober 2023, the most wonderful time of the year for those of us who are chastity enthusiasts. What I really love about Locktober is it is the time when so many guys who don’t cage their cocks most of the time or some of the time join those of us who do for a full month. And I suspect many of those who join us in October will continue locking after the month ends.

For me, I suppose Locktober might seem a little anti-climatic this year. Lucie has kept me locked the entire month of August and has given me no reason to expect September will be any different. The way Lucie sees it, since I’ve proven I can keep the contents of the cage clean without removing it and I’ve mastered the skill of prostate milking, there isn’t any reason for her to unlock me. So, chances seem good, I will simply slip seamlessly into Locktober on October 1. On the other hand, this will be my first Locktober shared with Lucie, so that will make it special.

As of today, I’m beginning the fifty-fifth day locked for Lucie and I haven’t had an orgasm for 120 days and some change, not even a ruined one. And I’ve never been happier. Horny? Extremely. Frustrated? Absolutely. Do I want to come? Desperately. Then why so happy?

I’m happy because I love Lucie owning my penis, owning my orgasms, and owning my access to all sexual pleasure. I have never felt the level of chemistry with any past key holder that I feel with Lucie. She has earned my trust and my absolute devotion.

Lucie has also convinced me she loves keeping me locked as much as I love her doing it. We both understand perfectly the dynamic of our relationship, and we’re on the same page. She has taken the time and put forth the effort to get to know me intimately. And that is how she expertly keeps my arousal bumping against the ceiling so that I’m always craving more. Closing in on my fourth year of chastity, I have found my perfect key holder. All of this explains why I want Lucie’s control permanently. Recent discussions give me hope she is giving serious thought to giving me what I want.

Back to the subject at hand, the approach of Locktober. If you’re thinking about participating this year, especially if it’s your first time, now is the time to prepare. If you don’t have a well-fitted device that you feel confident that you can wear comfortably (more or less) for 31 straight days, it’s time to get one. And using September to practice extending your locked periods is a great idea. Being able to remain locked 24/7 for two weeks will increase your odds of having a successful Locktober.

Get ready. Soon it will be the most wonderful time of the year.

locktober male chastity

The Secret to Successfully Adding Male Chastity to Your Relationship Revealed In 7 Simple Rules

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 11, 2022

I suspect many guys are observing this eleventh day of Locktober 2022 solo, or like me, under the supervision of a pro keyholder. Still, I expect there are guys who finally found the courage to approach their wife or partner this year to have the chastity discussion. And a smaller subset of that group persuaded their significant others to add male chastity to their relationship, at least as a trial for the month of October. If that describes you, congratulations. And I hope you will take a few moments to contemplate the secret to successfully adding male chastity to your relationship revealed in 7 simple rules.

A hilarious, satirical forum post I read on Chastity Mansion last evening, “How to get my husband to embrace a Canasta Centric Lifestyle?” by a woman going by the name Ashley Wilson Black is what sparked the idea of this post. Basically, she was poking a little fun at the guys who are forever posting in the forums, asking for advice on how to get their wives or partners to embrace male chastity. She cleverly turned it around to the female perspective, substituting the name of a card game (Canasta) for chastity. Maybe she was a bit harsh it spots, but I definitely got where she was coming from. So, for those lucky guys out there who convinced their wives or partners to explore chastity with them by acting as their key holders, you don’t want to blow it. And here I’m offering some simple rules that might just keep you from doing that.

Rule #1: Balance Reality with the Fantasy

Let’s be honest. At least at the beginning, the urge to satisfy a very common male fantasy motivates a guy’s interest in chastity. They want to spend long periods (just not too long) locked up at the mercy of a cruel, adamantine Mistress who will demand constant sexual pleasure through oral stimulation while he must suffer the pains of denial, unable to even have an erection. It’s the attraction of tease and denial play that most often drives initial interest in chastity, not the practice of chastity itself.

There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies or seeking to enact them as long as no one gets harmed. But if it’s only fantasy driving it, chastity is likely to turn out massively disappointing both for the chastised male and his key holder. Take your joint foray into chastity with a healthy dose of reality because chances are good, your fantasy is not likely to ever be fully realized. And I can even make an argument for why it shouldn’t. You see, male chastity isn’t about you and your dick. It’s about your key holder and chastity should ALWAYS be female-focused (or partner-focused for those whose tastes may lie elsewhere).

Rule #2: Don’t Try to Mold Your Partner into a Dominatrix

Another question I often see guys post in chastity forums is how they can get their wives or partners to act more dominant. Here again, we see fantasy fulfillment outside the bounds of reality raising its ugly head. How do you get your wife or partner to act more dominant? You probably don’t. Simple as that. Long before I ever tried male chastity, I was heavily involved in the kink community. Yes, I offer only anecdotal evidence, based on my experiences, but I firmly believe that dominants (in the sexual and kink contexts) are born, not made.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of people who can act effectively in the role of a top when so inclined, but here I’m talking about an actual, honest to goodness dominant. If your wife or partner had not a kinky bone in her body before you broached the subject of male chastity and asked her to become your key holder, it’s most unlikely she is going to turn magically into the harsh, implacable Dominatrix of your fantasies. Back during my days in the kink community, when the novel Fifty Shades of Grey came out and interest in BDSM exploded, I can’t even guess how many women asked me a similar question. How can I get my husband (or other significant other) to Dom me? I gave them the same answer. You probably can’t. They may not even be interested in trying, much less be capable of it.

If male chastity is key holder-focused, which it is, you should never try to coerce, persuade, or pester your key holder into becoming something she is not and that might even make her feel hugely uncomfortable. There is a word for that. It’s called manipulation. Just don’t. Manipulation is never okay. Many wives and partners, bless their hearts, agree to incorporate chastity into the relationship and serve as their male partner’s key holder out of loving kindness and genuine caring despite how stupid, unnatural, and useless they actually believe locking up penises really is. So, please don’t repay these wonderful women by telling them how they need to do a better job of fulfilling your fantasies.

Rule #3: Don’t Talk to Your Key Holder About Chasity and Kink Constantly

You know what I hate most about Twitter? It’s the political and social justice activists. They rarely, if ever, post about anything but politics and social justice. They simply don’t grasp that not everyone is obsessed with politics and social justice as they are and that they bore the holy hell out of people like me. In fact, I end up not only hating them but everything they advocate and stand for because it reminds me of them. And they are too self-absorbed and ignorant to understand they do their various causes way more harm than good. I actually view a lot of things negatively today that I once either saw positively or at least had no strong opinion about either way because of the self-appointed, self-styled, in your face activist assholes on Twitter. This is exactly the reason you shouldn’t talk to your partner incessantly about chastity. Trust me. The vast majority of them will never feel as fanatical about it as you do. Chastity is not on her mind or something she wants on her mind all day, every day.

Most of the time, a wife or partner agrees to chastity and to becoming a key holder because they love their penis owning partner and want them to be happy. They see cooperating with the latest kinky thing he picked up on the Internet as just another relationship cross they must bear. Secretly, they hope the chastity cage will turn out massively uncomfortable if not outright painful, and that their partner will soon lose interest in it. After all, it’s stupid, unnatural, and pointless, anyway. But even those who may discover to their complete astonishment that they actually enjoy the new power their partner has bestowed on them and finally having the means to put a stop to the constant sex bargaining they have always dealt with, don’t want to engage in chastity discussions and sexy kink talk ad nauseam. Subjecting your key holder to this will only annoy them, so don’t be surprised when they don’t want to play anymore if you insist on doing it. A good rule to follow is this. The first rule of male chastity is don’t talk about male chastity, unless your key holder brings it up.

Rule #4: Don’t Complain That She Doesn’t Tease You Enough or Effectively

Remember our old friend, Tease and Denial? Many guys opt into male chastity because they want to be helplessly subjected to sexual teasing until driven crazy with arousal. Hopefully, you thought to cover the teasing bit when you first asked your significant other to lock you in a chastity device. Because once the lock snaps shut, that’s all behind you now. The quality and frequency of sexual teasing is completely up to your key holder. And guess what? Teasing may not be her thing. She might not know how to do it. She may not even be interested in learning how to do it. Or doing it all, for that matter.

Luckily, when faced with something they know little about, because of their very inquisitive nature, women often immediately turn to the Internet or a bookstore looking for resources that will get them up to speed. So, maybe, if you’re lucky, if your key holder never heard of male chastity before you brought it up, she might dig into the topic and learn all about teasing and how to do it. She might even ask you what sort of things make you pleasantly aroused if she doesn’t already know. But remember, that’s up to her, not you. So, if she isn’t interested in teasing or learning about it, you could end up with the worst possible chastity outcome, locked and forgot. Still, complaining and nagging will get you nowhere and may even end with her throwing the key back in your face with strongly worded instructions to never speak to her about chastity again.

Rule #5: Don’t Negotiate

Once your wife or key holder locks you up, understand something. There’s no scheduled release, no time off for good behavior, no get out of jail free cards, no negotiations. She decides when or if she unlocks your penis. That’s how enforced chastity works. So, don’t tell her how horny you are and ask her to unlock you. And don’t even think about *gasp* begging. If she understands how chastity is supposed to work and isn’t a pushover, even if she isn’t the female version of Christian Grey, she will automatically say “no” whenever you ask or beg for release. After all, she will reason: Isn’t this what he asked for? And don’t forget the first rule of chastity. Never talk about chastity unless your key holder brings it up. If she is a good key holder, she will even punish you for asking for release. And she should.

Rule #6: Never Refuse Punishment or Chores

Domestic service and submission are two things that we commonly incorporate with chastity. Focusing on the key holder usually means a guy doing household chores that weren’t previously his responsibility. The goal is to make your key holder happy by doing anything she wants you to do that she finds pleasurable, even if that is only you doing the laundry. But, at some point, frustration sets in. What you enjoyed immensely at the beginning suddenly feels less satisfying. What you regarded as perpetual foreplay doesn’t result in the reward of a nice, throbbing erection or the sexual release you want desperately. Maybe you even broke the rule and asked or begged her to unlock you. But she said no and now you’re left feeling angry and act out passively aggressively. Maybe you actively disobey by refusing to do a chore she assigned. Or, maybe you earned punishment for violating a rule, and refuse to accept it. This is another thing that can sink your chastity boat and ruin the experience for both of you.

When you refuse to do a chore or accept a punishment, you are taking back the power you transferred to your key holder and showing her that chastity is about you, not about her, as it should be. And that might just destroy your credibility in her eyes and she will never believe it’s focused on her again. So, if it is truly important to you to incorporate chastity into the relationship, grit your teeth and resist the urge to disobey when frustration sets in.

Rule #7: Don’t Use Chastity to Segue Clandestinely into Another Fetish or Kink

Your wife or partner deserves to know exactly what you are asking for when you ask her to lock you in chastity. I’ve known many men who wanted much more than just having their cocks locked up. But instead of laying it all out at the beginning, they asked their partners for the chastity piece first and once they got that, they then pushed for fulfillment of some other fetish or kink interest. For some guys, chastity is only a segue into something else they really want to experience, like feminization, small penis humiliation, or cuckolding. Not that there is anything wrong with desiring or enjoying those kinks as long as everyone agrees. But you should never ask your partner to add chastity to the relationship when you already know you intend to up the ante later by asking her to add some other fetish or kink. Be honest and lay it all out at the front end.

Yes, maybe she would add chastity but won’t have any interest at all in feminizing you, ridiculing the size of your tool, or having sex with other men. And hearing you want those things too may put her off chastity. But it’s dishonest to withhold information from her she might wish to include in her decision-making process.

Some kinks many guys think fit seamlessly with chastity actually don’t. Consider the three I mentioned, forced feminization, SPH, and cuckolding. All of those fit into the humiliation kink category and are all stand-alone kinks embraced by guys who find humiliation sexually arousing. That’s what sets them apart from chastity. They are self-focused, while chastity is partner-focused. At least it should be. You can tell me until the cows come home you want your wife to cuckold you only because you just can’t satisfy her with your cock the way a more generously endowed bull could and you only want her to be happy and sexually fulfilled. But we both know a huge part of it is how horny it would make you knowing some other guy with a bigger cock is shagging your wife, and even better if she lets you watch or gives you a play-by-play afterward.

Just a few rules of thumb to keep in mind if your significant other has agreed to lock you and hold the key for the first time this Locktober. You may not remember them all. But that’s okay as long as you remember this. Male chastity isn’t about you. It’s key holder-focused. As long as you remember that and apply it, you’ll automatically keep all seven rules.

If you’re observing Locktober 2022 and still hanging in there, well done. If it’s your first Locktober and you’re still locked after ten full days, that’s awesome. Good luck to all. Just 20 days and a few hours to go.

locktober

6 Fantastic Locktober Temptations Hacks

By Chaste on Monday, October 3, 2022

Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests men and women have a similar ability to resist sexual temptation, but men’s resistance fails more often because they experience stronger sexual impulses. Here on the third day of Locktober 2022, many guys who took up the challenge are feeling the effects of the conflict between their pledge to stay locked for thirty-one days and their biological drives to seek release. So, here we offer 6 fantastic Locktober temptations hacks than can help guys keep their month-long chastity pledge.

Days 2 and 3 of chastity are the most irritating phase for most guys. Why? For the same reason that the first two or three days of a diet or the attempt to overcome a habit like smoking are most fraught with temptations that so often produce failure. Transitioning from getting exactly what your body is accustomed to getting and demands to not getting it is always an uncomfortable change and your body doesn’t like it. It can seem that every five minutes your body demands, “I need! Give it to me now!” As frustration and irritation mount, all a guy thinks about is his need for getting immediate relief.

The good news is, most of those who make it through Day 3 will find the going gets easier, at least until near the end. But that doesn’t mean the temptation to quit and unlock or cheat won’t raise its ugly head again when you least expect it. Here then are six proven strategies to help you deal with the temptation to bail on your pledge when it comes.

Just Breathe

Deep breathing exercises can get you through a surprising number of bouts of temptation. You can use the same techniques health providers teach those who suffer from stress or anxiety. Sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Take slow and regular breaths in through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth slowly. It helps to put one of your hands on your chest and the other on your stomach while doing this relaxation technique. Your stomach should move more than your chest when you breathe in deeply. So, watch and sense your hands as you breathe in. The hand on your chest should remain almost still, while the hand on your stomach should move noticeably. Repeat this process at least 10 times or until you feel temptations lessen.

Set Your Mind Straight

When your body whines, “I need it,” dispute that nonsense by interrupting the thought process and vigorously challenging it. Ask yourself, “Could I resist this temptation if someone offered me a thousand bucks?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, you will reply, “Of course.” That means you have the power to resist the temptation to give in and seek release. You just have to muster the will to do it.

Affirm Your Resilience

Anytime you start feeling chastity is too hard and you can’t do it, say “Yes, I can.” Remind yourself in no uncertain terms that you have resisted temptation successfully many times before, and you can do it again. Visualize success, not failure.

Walk it Off

Research shows that a brisk walk reduces many cravings. For others, a slower, meditative walk works. Either way, it is a healthy way to distract yourself so that you don’t give in to temptation. Aim for a fifteen to twenty-minute walk, or if you already walk regularly, go even longer.

Distract-Distract-Distract

Do the opposite of vegetating on the couch or in front of your computer screen dwelling on how badly you need release. Get up and get active, doing something you genuinely enjoy. Go to the gym, go to the mall, go to a movie, call or text a friend. This is another strategy for distracting yourself when your brain is telling you to give up and get relief. Find a distracting activity that fully engages both your hands and your mind is another excellent technique. Work a puzzle, play a video game, do some yard work, scrub a floor, anything that will take your mind off it when those temptations persist.

Make Giving in Inconvenient

Especially for those without a keyholder, making it inconvenient to access the key to your chastity device is one of the best ways to combat the temptation to unlock. There is the old tried and true freezing the key in a block of ice technique. That way, if temptation strikes, you must wait until the ice melts before you can access the key. Often, the frantic urge to get relief will dissipate long before that happens. Personally, when I first tried self-locking, I found it most effective to get the key out of my home and out of reach. I’ve done things like leaving the key to my device in my safe deposit box, in a desk drawer at work, or locked up in my gym locker. Even when the key was somewhere that I could access it at most any time, it still meant I had to get in the car and drive there to retrieve it. That provided just enough inconvenience that the path of least resistance was to let the crisis of temptation pass. It’s the same principle as when you’re on a diet and craving a chocolate bar or some other treat that will blow your diet. If you have to drive to the store to buy a candy bar or container of ice cream, it’s easier to resist the temptation than if you already had it at home. The same is true of a chastity key.

Bouts of temptation to unlock early and get relief often last for five minutes or less, and using one or more of these techniques should allow you to get past them and cross the Locktober finish line victorious.

locktober

Locktober Strategies Revealed

By Chaste on Monday, September 19, 2022

The time draws nigh, looming, a cloud, a dread beyond. In twelve days, Locktober comes. So, it seemed a good time for Locktober strategies revealed, to help those readers who are standing at the precipice, gazing into the abyss, and screwing up their courage to accept the challenge of locking up their most prized possession for 31 long days. Whether this is your first Locktober attempt, or if you’ve tried it before but failed miserably, hopefully here you will find strategies that will help you succeed in 2022.

When it comes to self-improvement, two of the biggest stumbling blocks people encounter are a lack of motivation to get started and a fear that a goal will be too overwhelming. That stops many guys from trying or succeeding at chastity. That’s why a one-month challenge like Locktober can help tackle both issues. A thirty-one-day challenge feels doable—you can do almost anything for 31 days. And you can also use a 31-day challenge as an experiment. If chastity for a month enhances your life, you’ll create momentum that motivates you to use it to create more positive change. Here in this post, I’ll share with you my best strategies for making it to the finish line this Locktober.

Step 1: Decide to Succeed

It may sound obvious, but this is perhaps the most difficult part of succeeding.

During my chastity travels, I’ve had many conversations with guys who’ve told me they want to live the chaste life, but they never seem to make it happen. Why is that?

Because it’s tough to adjust to wearing a chastity device 24/7. Really tough.

In fact, wearing a chastity device for an entire month for the first time may be the most challenging and uncomfortable thing you ever do.

At first, this can be very scary.

Successfully completing Locktober means making some tough decisions. So, how badly do you want to succeed? What are you willing to do – and to give up – to make it happen?

Once you decide you will wear a chastity device for 31 straight days come hell or high water, suddenly, almost anything is possible.

Step 2. Learn to Embrace Discomfort

If you want to learn how to wear a chastity device 24/7 for an entire month, or longer, get prepared to say goodbye to your comfort zone. The very essence of growth in any difficult endeavor is to move beyond what you’ve experienced before.

You have to break new ground. And there will be discomfort, both physical and mental.

First, having a hunk of plastic or metal hanging from your junk doesn’t immediately feel normal. It takes some getting used to. If your brand new to it, you’ll probably have to deal with some chafing issues and some sore spots. Also, you will battle some very strong biological urges that all men have that evolution has programmed into us for thousands of years. Your body and brain will not be happy with your decision and will fight back. Expect the discomfort and then embrace it.

When I was a high school freshman, I went out for the football team, mostly because all my friends at the time intended to play football. I hadn’t played in junior high or in any Pop Warner leagues growing up. For me, football was a completely new experience, and after the first week of two a day practices, I hated it and decided to quit. Nervously, I went to my coach’s office after practice one afternoon and told him I wanted to quit. Frankly, I was scared to death because I saw him as a mean guy and feared he’d make fun of me. But I overcame my fear and went to talk to him anyway because I was that desperate. I wanted the discomfort to end. To my surprise, he was understanding and spoke to me with kindness. He convinced me he knew how I felt and why. Then he told me something I’ve never forgotten and never will. “If you want to quit, I won’t stop you. But you must understand something, son. If you quit football, any time for the rest of your life when you face a challenge, you will quit. You will be a quitter the rest of your life, and I don’t want to see that happen. You’re better than that.”

Long story short, he convinced me to stay on the team for one more week and if I still wanted to quit, he wouldn’t say another word. I agreed and something miraculous happened. During that week that I agreed to, even though I fully expected to quit at the end, I learned to embrace discomfort. I learned to embrace hitting other guys on the football practice field and getting hit. I embraced the soreness, the fatigue. And at the end of that week, I didn’t quit and went on to become a starter on my team for the next four years. I’m convinced that learning to embrace the discomfort made the difference. And, you know what? I’ve never quit a single thing in my life since.

Years later, I volunteered for an advanced military training course known for how few soldiers successfully complete it. On the first day, the instructor made us run five miles wearing our PT uniforms and running shoes. Nothing tough about that. At the time, I was running much further most days just for fun and fitness. But for this run, we also wore fully loaded seventy-pound rucksacks on our backs and carried rifles. At the end of the run, my feet were like hamburger and so were those of a lot of the other guys in my platoon. The next day, I could hardly walk wearing combat boots. But I never once thought about quitting the run that day or the course, even though things only got tougher after that run. That was because I’d already learned the secret back in high school football. I’d learned to embrace the discomfort.

Step 3. Get Help and Support

Guys who usually try Locktober and fail are those who try to do it on their own, self-locked, with no support. That makes it easier to get discouraged, give in to the discomfort, and quit. It makes it easier to rationalize and make excuses. That’s why you should consider getting help and support. But not every guy has a partner willing to act as his keyholder, or maybe any partner at all. No partner? No problem. There are professionals who will help and will hold you accountable for a nominal fee. And that can make all the difference in the world. I’ll offer two options here for professional help, people I can confidently recommend.

The first option is the Oxy-Shop Keyholder Service. I’ve used it and highly recommend it. A while back I posted a review for the service if you haven’t read it. Mistress Elena, who operates the service, is a consummate professional, and she makes it a fun experience. And best of all it’s so affordable, only $35 for the month. Do make sure you let Mistress Elena know you’re doing Locktober if you sign up so she knows not to offer you early releases.

The second option is pricier, but Goddess Summer knows her stuff and also offers more teasing than you will get with the first option. Tributes start at $75 (payable by Amazon.ca gift card). She also offers two other more expensive options with more teasing and interaction. Check out https://summerschoolforsissies.wordpress.com/2022/09/11/locktober-2022 for more details if you’re interested.

If you have no partner to support you and can’t afford or just don’t want to pay for professional keyholding, there is one free option where you can get both help, information, and support. No one will hold your key, but you will find other like-minded folks at Chastity Mansion who will offer their support and even answer questions you have as you navigate Locktober. You can sign up at https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php and membership is absolutely free.

Concluding Thoughts

Overcoming your natural male biological urges and completing 31 days in chastity is never an easy road. However, it doesn’t need to be an unpleasant journey. It can actually be both a fun and challenging experience that forces you to dig deep inside yourself.

It challenges you to change how you are and can help you become a better version of yourself.

The strategies presented here within this post can certainly help you along that journey. But ultimately, your success depends on you and how willing you are to make the necessary changes to succeed.

A Helpful Chastity Primer Heading Into Your First Locktober

locktober

After Locktober Ends

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 20, 2020

What happens for you after Locktober ends? The captioned image above is from one of the most memorable, iconic scenes from the 1979 American epic war film directed, produced, and co-written by Francis Ford Coppola, Apocalypse Now. With napalm canisters exploding behind them, Lieutenant Colonel William “Bill” Kilgore delivers in an uncharacteristic, matter-of-fact tone the absurd line to Captain Benjamin L. Willard about how much he loves the gasoline smell of napalm in the morning because it smells like victory. Then Kilgore looks into the distance and says wistfully, “Someday this war is going to end.” That line speaks to the idiosyncrasies of war. Yet, it adds to the uncanny and invulnerable quality of Kilgore’s character while signifying the far-reaching effect war has had on his mentality.

I wonder if there are chaste guys out there thinking to themselves somewhat wistfully, “Someday this Locktober is going to end.” Perhaps this is your first Locktober, or maybe you’re someone with years of experience wearing a cock cage who has participated in Locktober many times. My question to you, if you’re new to male chastity and participating in your first Locktober, is this. What happens for you after Locktober ends, this 2020 edition, in eleven days? Has the experience of having your penis confined in a chastity device had a far-reaching effect on your male mentality? Or, has Locktober been only a fun challenge to discover whether you have what it takes to stick it out for thirty-one days? Are you counting down the days to when you or, hopefully, someone else unlocks you and frees you from the cock cage? Or, will Locktober 2020 become the start of something bigger for you?

Reflecting on After Locktober Ends

It wasn’t Locktober when I had my first experience wearing a cock cage, but I had signed a contract with a dominant woman where I agreed to wear the chastity device for one full month. It was hard, maybe even harder than I’d expected for about the first seven days. But after the first week, it got easier.

Frankly, I’m not sure I would have lasted the entire month had I only self-locked. But very quickly, it became essential to me not to disappoint the woman who locked me. While I was determined not to give up, I admit about midway through; I was counting down the days to the end. I was eager to experience some relief from all the pent-up sexual energy. But, the experience of having my penis confined in a chastity device that first time did have a far-reaching effect on my male mentality.

It was almost surreal how wearing a chastity device started to affect me both mentally and emotionally, and how quickly it happened. It was literally like a night and day difference. Cock cages confine the growth of the penis during an erection, and that can become quite uncomfortable. As a result, the brain starts to tell the penis to become flaccid again. Eventually, this constant correction trains your mind to make your penis hard only when your keyholder authorizes it or once you have reached some goal you set in advance if you self-lock. When you reach that milestone, it’s easier to forget about your cock, on which too many of us guys have had the habit of lavishing too much attention, which frees you to channel the sexual energy into more productive pursuits.

New Goals After Locktober Ends

Perhaps the most recognized aspect of wearing a chastity device is it prevents masturbation and ejaculation, which can be a real benefit for a guy’s relationship since excessive masturbation can be a hidden relationship killer. Preservation of sexual energy can be an enormous part of a healthy relationship. And as mentioned, you can find more productive uses for it. As one example, as a writer, I find that chastity makes me far more productive than when I’m not wearing a chastity device.

If Locktober was just a one-off fun challenge to try, maybe you plan on tossing the cock cage in your sock drawer on the first of November with no plans ever to wear it again. But, as was the case with me, I suspect many first-time Locktober participants will discover they miss all the benefits of the chaste lifestyle when they unlock. They will miss the heft of the device, the feelings of contentment and security that can develop when you’ve worn a cock cage over an extended period. After Locktober ends might be a time to set a new goal for wearing your chastity device for sixty days, ninety days, or even longer.

After Locktober Ends is a Great Time to Try a New Device

Guys locking up for their first Locktober often choose to go with an inexpensive cage, usually one of the Chinese devices available from Amazon, eBay, or another online retailer. There is nothing wrong with that. That was my own approach. Why invest a lot of money in an expensive cock cage until you’ve had a chance to learn whether chastity is something you plan to continue long-term? But after thirty-one days, if the experience was meaningful enough that you feel you want to continue, then it can be an excellent time to start looking at a new device that will be more comfortable for long-term wear.

After growing in popularity and gaining mainstream visibility, there has been a sea change in cock cages. Today’s designs are less brutal, less intrusive, and far more discreet than the cages of yesteryear. After tons of experimentation, I finally found the Amicus from Male Chastity Now, which I believe will be my permanent cage. That is unless I find the Male Chastity Now’s Contender model even more to my liking when I try it on for size soon. But for now, I give Amicus credit for propelling me to my current record of over 148 days locked. It’s simply that lightweight, that comfortable, and that discreet.

Male chastity continues to grow in popularity. That is readily evident from the number of visitors to this site, and others like it and how well-received Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity has been. I expect the male chastity lifestyle will continue to grow more mainstream as both guys and women learn more about its transformative power.

Someday, and soon, this Locktober is going to end. The question is, what happens for you when it does?

chastity locktober

Locktober By The Numbers

By Chaste on Wednesday, June 10, 2020

October, the tenth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian calendars, and the sixth of seven months to have a length of 31 days. October is all about enjoying the last waning days of fall before the onslaught of holiday planning and New Year’s resolution-making take hold.

There’s nothing like feeling the crisp October air and digging out your favorite sweater for the first time of the season. As the brilliant L. M. Montgomery wrote in Anne of Green Gables, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

But, since around 2015, October has also been the month that the chastity community observes Locktober, that time of the year where chastity enthusiasts stay locked in their devices for one solid month.

chastity

Will you be observing Locktober this year? Locktober is for those curious about male chastity, but have never tried it, and for those who have only ever tried wearing a chastity cage for short periods. It’s also for those already practicing chastity, with hopes of taking things to the next level by staying locked for thirty-one straight days.

The History Of Locktober

The answer to the question—who created Locktober, remains murky. Many attribute the idea to a Tumblr blogger. Locktober was mentioned in a post on a blog called “Keep Him Locked: A Wife’s Guide to Male Chastity and Cock Cages” in 2017. However, I found a post from 2015 in the forums at orgasmdenial.com about Locktober. A member posting there using the handle submaleslaveuk seemed to claim credit for the event. Still, there is no definitive answer to who originated the idea of thirty-one straight days locked in chastity during October.

What seems a little clearer is that either 2016 or 2017 seems the first year Locktober was widely observed. So, despite who first coined the term or originated the idea, it seems fair to say that 2020 will be either the fourth or fifth annual observance of Locktober.

The Locktober Rule Book

After making a systematic web search, I discovered there seems to be no official rule book for observing Locktober. The only hard and fast rule seems to be that participants must remain locked in a chastity device for the entire month of October.

Purists insist the cage cannot be unlocked or removed for any reason, no even for hygiene releases. That seems a little draconian to me. Sure, with an open cage-type chastity device, I suppose a guy could wear it non-stop for the entire month without any health concerns. But, I think wearing a chastity tube device that fully encloses the penis for that length of time without hygiene releases wouldn’t be sensible.

A few others I encountered during my meticulous research for this post seemed to suggest that the real point of Locktober is going orgasm free for an entire month. Sort of a Lent season for chaste males. They seemed fine with the idea of removing the chastity cage for brief periods for hygiene purposes and even when a keyholder wishes to remove it for teasing sessions.

Yet submaleslaveuk, the guy who seems to claim he originated Locktober in 2015, describes in his forum post having a vibrator-assisted orgasm while locked in his chastity cage. If he invented the chastity event, then it seems he has a right to say in-cage orgasms are kosher.

A Common Sense Approach To Locktober

As a rule of thumb, I’ve always found you never go wrong when you apply common sense to something, even kink activities or fetish observances. I also think a grown man should be able to decide for himself how he will observe Locktober in a meaningful way. I don’t see a reason we need to get legalistic about Locktober observances.

For me, that means brief weekly hygiene releases are acceptable. Also, I wouldn’t even cry foul at anyone who chooses to have in-cage orgasms. Having experienced those, they are more like “ruined orgasms,” anyway. I’d only flag those who remove the cage during the month and enjoy full, unrestricted orgasms. I think that would violate the spirit of the event.

Only 114 Shopping Days Left Until Locktober

For those who may think it’s too early to start planning for Locktober here in June, I beg to differ. If you’re considering participating this year, but don’t own a chastity device, you only have 114 days left to choose one and buy it. Or, for those who do have a cage they aren’t satisfied with, to complete their quest for the holy grail, that comfortable cage with a perfect fit to wear non-stop for a whole month. You can check my chastity device reviews for ideas.

Also, if you’re not fortunate enough to have a partner as your keyholder, you need time to start looking for someone to hold your keys. Many of the ladies that provide for-fee keyholding services run special deals for Locktober. It’s best to find a keyholder early to reserve your spot before they fill up.

I’m giving some thought to celebrating Locktober 2020 in style by maybe hosting some kind of a contest here on CutToTheChaste. Perhaps I’ll have a random drawing and give away prizes. I don’t have a firm plan yet, but I thought maybe I could give away a free chastity device, books on chastity, or tee shirts with a chastity theme. I definitely plan to do something, and I’ll post the information once I have a plan in place.

Meanwhile, save the date. I hope you will join me in the observance of Locktober 2020. October will be here before we know it.