As I travel the web and visit online chastity forums, I often see this kind of statement. “Help! I want to commit to long-term chastity, but it’s so hard. I can’t keep my cage on for more than a few days at a time.” Let’s look at chastity troubleshooting.
Chasity has both a physical and a mental component. For guys who want to go long but can’t, it’s usually either a physical issue or a mental roadblock. So, let’s figure it out.
Cage Fit Issues
The first thing to look at on the physical side is the chastity cage fit. A poorly fitting cage is one big reason guys can’t get past a few days to longer wear periods. If wearing a chastity device causes you pain or an unacceptable level of discomfort, that’s a fit issue. Having a cock cage that fits well is a must if you’re going to stay locked for long periods.
As a guy with an average size penis and ordinary size testicles, most off-the-shelf cages work for me. I do pay attention to things like internal cage diameter and length, but with mass-manufactured devices, that’s about the best you can do.
Guys who are on the larger end of the penis spectrum or who have balls that are really tight against the base of their penises can have more difficulty finding workable off-the-shelf options. That’s because either the internal diameter of the cage is too small, the gap between the cage and base ring is too close, or the largest standard base ring size is too small.
There is always going to be some level of discomfort when wearing a chastity cage, especially when you’re just beginning. The feel of the base ring behind the scrotum takes some getting used to. Also, friction and the compression from the base ring often causes some chafing, irritation, or tenderness of the skin beneath the ring in spots until the skin toughens up.
For the minor skin issues and discomfort, all you can do is apply lubricant regularly and power through the minor discomfort until your body adjusts to having a foreign object attached to your genitals. But things like broken skin, sores, or recurring pinching are all signs of a poorly fitting cage that cause real discomfort or pain that must be addressed.
If you’ve tried one or more of the inexpensive foreign-made cages and haven’t found a reasonably well-fitting device because of your anatomy, you only have two choices. If you’re larger than average, you may have no choice but to spend the money on a custom-made device built to your specifications. If your issue is large balls or the type that rides high and tight against the base of your penis, you may have to look at a device like the CB-6000 that allows for the cage to base ring gap adjustment.
The bottom line is you must have a cage that fits well enough that it is reasonably comfortable. If you are dealing with significant discomfort or pain, the annoyance will overwhelm the hotness of chastity and prevent you from reaching that glowing state of chastity bliss.
The Horniness Factor
When you put on a chastity cage, you’re transitioning from your male body getting exactly what it wants and demands to not. It’s an uncomfortable change, and your body doesn’t like it. About a day after your last orgasm, about every five minutes, your body says, “Wait, what? You mean, I can’t come? Why can’t I come? I need! Give me now!” The frustration and irritation mounts. Some guys throw in the towel, unlock, and indulge in getting the immediate relief they crave.
An older male with a lower sex drive may well have an easier time with this aspect of acclimating to chastity. A younger male with a high functioning sex drive will often find the horniness factor harder to deal with, especially if he doesn’t have a keyholder and is self-locking. Male sexual desire is a force to be reckoned with, which is why it’s called a sex “drive.” For most of us, will power alone will not suffice.
If you find yourself unlocking because you get so horny you can’t continue, then there is really only one good option. Get a keyholder. If you don’t have a partner and don’t have a friend to ask to be your keyholder, then get a for-fee keyholder. It makes a world of difference.
When you have access to the keys to your device, it’s all on you to hold yourself back from unlocking. Hour after painful hour, you have to keep telling yourself you aren’t going to crumble…until you finally crumble.
When you have a keyholder, it’s a whole different ballgame. The onus is on her to keep you locked, which is an easy task. She isn’t the one who must forgo orgasms. And, having a keyholder just makes chastity so much more fun.
Of course, some guys stymied by their high sex drive have a partner as a keyholder. They end up sabotaging their efforts to go long by whining and begging their partners for release after only a few days in their cages. Some take it a step further by becoming passive-aggressive if their partners won’t relent. That can be a real turn off for keyholders. This situation really comes down to motivation. Is long-term chastity something you really want?
Often, in-cage releases with the use of a vibrator against the cage or prostate milking can get you through the rough patches and on the one way to more extended wear periods. You can do both with or without keyholder.
Arousal Drop
Arousal drop is the exact opposite of the “I get so horny” problem. Some guys report that they like chastity and want to wear their cages longer periods, but can’t get there. While wearing the cage for a few days is overwhelmingly arousing, after that, they lose interest. Chastity just feels like an annoyance. This problem often results from lack of stimulation, the teasing part of teasing and denial.
When a guy first puts on a cage, usually his arousal gets a bump and will continue to climb for a while. But it won’t just keep rising to infinity and beyond. The male sexual response cycle doesn’t work that way. At some point, your body figures out it isn’t going to get an orgasm soon and can lose interest. Arousal drops, and chastity isn’t fun anymore.
The Need For Tease
I think guys who self-lock have this problem sometimes, but it can also be an issue for guys with a keyholder. If you have a keyholder who, for whatever reason, doesn’t provide enough teasing or effective teasing, arousal drop can ensue. That’s an issue for me. After about a week with no teasing, my arousal level starts dropping until it flat lines. I then get bored, lose interest, and soon everything about wearing a cage gets annoying.
If it’s a keyholder issue, then you must talk with them and explain you’re having a problem. If they can’t or won’t address the problem, then you may just have to look for a different keyholder.
For guys who self-lock and run into this problem, they must find a way to get the stimulation they need to keep their arousal at a high level. For some, maybe it’s watching some porn. For others, perhaps doing in cage edging with a vibrator, or enjoying some anal play is the ticket. Whatever it is, getting the needed teasing will usually stave off the feelings of boredom and loss of interest.
The Chastity Cycle
When you’re having trouble keeping your cage on for longer periods, it can be helpful to grasp a good understanding of the chastity cycle.
After a guy has an orgasm and ejaculates, his sexual desire and interest in sexual release evaporates temporarily. Sexual desire falls precipitously to its lowest levels. When we were new to chastity, who among us didn’t opt to have that last spurt before locking up for a stint in the chastity cage. That made the first day or two easy.
But, as we know, we rascally males don’t keep our heads down long. Within twenty-four hours for most guys, sexual desire begins to return slowly. We may not notice it at first, but by the second or third day, it starts taking over our one-tracked minds, and we’re getting ready for some relief. That’s why the days two to four are the most difficult for most men. It’s a lot like the way the third or fourth day of a diet is when people are the most temptation prone and why so many dieters are likely to give in then and fail.
Sometime after day four, depending on the guy, your body will slowly start to realize that orgasm is not imminent, and it’s a waste of resources to keep expecting relief at any second. You will begin to stabilize and start accepting chastity both mentally and physically.
In this phase of the chastity cycle, your expectations for orgasm have been lowered enough that your mind and body stop actively fighting chastity. In this phase, you start to experience chastity, to feel the sensations of ever-growing arousal and ever-intensifying desire. For guys, sexual desire is pleasurable. It becomes a sweet sensation that never stops, made only a little bittersweet by occasional waves of the almost overwhelming need for relief. But don’t worry. Those pass quickly if you stay the course.
The Open Road To Chastity Bliss
Once you’re past day five or six, assuming you’ve got a decently comfortable cage, you’re on the open road to chastity bliss cruising along with the top down and the wind blowing through your hair.
This phase can last for three to four weeks. Once you’ve hit the two-week milestone, you should be able to last a month as long as you don’t take your foot off the gas. You should feel more and more aroused gradually. Chastity should start feeling better and better.
It may take several rounds, and several months of wearing your cage for three to four weeks at a time for your mind to evolve and your body to acclimate. But eventually, it will happen. There will come a day when after you experience the letdown that follows orgasm, you will actually crave going back into chastity. You’ll miss the glow so much you will reach the point you don’t want to be unlocked when the end of a third or fourth week rolls around.
As always, thanks for reading. I hope you’ve found a few usable chastity troubleshooting tips that will help you go beyond wearing your device for only a few days to fun and enjoyable, long-term wear.