Month: June 2020

male chastity fiction

A Curious Contraption: A Steampunk Chastity Story

By on Friday, June 19, 2020

As part of our current month-long chastity sojourn, my new keyholder has assigned me to write a fantasy story. She left the specific story type, and word-count up to me, so I thought what better story was there to write than a steampunk chastity story.

I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a steampunk story for a while now. This assignment seemed an excellent opportunity to try it for the first time. At first, I only intended to satisfy my keyholder’s requirement. But the further I’ve gotten into the story, the more caught up in it I’ve become. It has already reached novelette proportions. So, I now plan to publish the story on Amazon once I’ve completed it and have submitted it to my keyholder.

a-curious-contraption

The Story Synopsis

If male chastity fiction is something you enjoy, here is the synopsis of A Curious Contraption:

a-steampunk-chastity-storyWhen a young Irishman arrives in gaslamp Liverpool during the 19th century looking for work, he finds more than he bargained for.

Out of work amid the Great Famine, Ian Flynn leaves Ireland and travels to England seeking employment. He arrives in Liverpool, broke, hungry, and without a place to live. But when he answers an advertisement seeking an apprenticeship to a metalworker, his luck takes a turn for the better.

Ian’s new employer, Sophie Cooke, is a beautiful and most curious young woman for her time. She owns property and a business inherited from her father. Sophie also refuses to fit into the patriarchal social mold crafted by men, where men govern and treat women as child-bearing second-class citizens. Sophie not only gives Ian the apprenticeship but also rents him a room in her home.

As his first metalworking job, Sophie tasks Ian with making a curious contraption, an oddly shaped silver cylinder with a rounded nose. He assumes the tubes are containers, but can’t determine for what.

Things get curiouser and curiouser when Sophie reveals male chastity is the purpose of the odd gadgets. Unable to deny her, Ian must pay the minor price of his male liberty in return for Sophie’s generosity when she asks him to wear the tube in the interest of research. He finds himself in chastity and gratefully performing acts he would never have imagined.

Don’t miss out on this gaslamp fantasy tale of romance set in Victorian England. Journey today to 19th century Liverpool and experience author J.K. Spenser’s vision of a steampunk chastity story.

A Curious Contraption is available for pre-order on Amazon, but if you’re a Kindle Unlimited subscriber, wait until the story is released July 7 when you’ll be able to read it free.

Continue Reading
0
chastity

The Science Of Male Chastity

By on Wednesday, June 17, 2020

One of the things I read at the beginning about chastity that most intrigued me was the behavioral changes that chaste men experience. That’s really what persuaded me to try it. I wanted to learn for myself whether those things actually occurred.

 

 

Recently, I read a post, “Behavioral Changes,” over on the Male Chastity Journal blog. One of the blog readers there, a chaste man, posted a comment about the behavioral changes his wife had noticed. What he shared is an excellent illustration of what I want to talk about in this post.

 

Observed Behavioral Changes

Here is what he said:

“I asked her what the benefits were to her and she said:

  • You listen to me more and pay me more attention
  • You are more loving and tactile – more hugs and kisses
  • The house is tidier as you do more things
  • I feel desired and adored
  • We have sex more often
  • We have less arguments and disagreements
  • You seem happier and less stressed – and I know now that if you do seem grumpy or stressed that a good spanking helps alleviate that.
  • Generally I feel happier and there is more romance in our everyday life.”

 

Those are precisely the type of reported changes that had intrigued me. Having since learned by experience they do occur, the next natural question is why. That I have discovered, is easily explained by the science of male chastity.

 

Biochemical Mechanisms Connected With Sexual Release

Have you ever considered how your sex life affects things like your emotional state, frame of mind, and behavior? If you have, or if you think about it now, you might conclude that a relationship exists between sex and mood.

A lot of scientific research has been performed in the area of the biochemical mechanisms that occur before, during, and after sexual gratification. As a result, the relationship between the brain, sexual release, and the science behind male chastity is well understood by researchers.

 

The Role Of Neurotransmitters

The brain is a complex organ. Many different neurotransmitters direct the brain, which produces changes in our moods throughout the day, and throughout our lives. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers in the brain that shuttle across the spaces between cells. These messengers then bind to docking-station molecules called receptors. Those receptors relay the signal carried by the neurotransmitter from one cell to its neighbor.

There are three of these neurotransmitters which are most involved with sexual activity—dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin.

 

Dopamine

Different neurotransmitters are made in different parts of the brain. Two main brain areas produce dopamine. One is called the substantia nigra. It’s a tiny strip of tissue on either side of the base of your brain. It sits in a region known as the mid-brain. Close by is the ventral tegmental area. It, too, makes dopamine.

The ventral tegmental area sends dopamine into the brain when animals (including humans) expect or receive a reward. That reward might be a delicious slice of chocolate cake, pizza, a favorite song, or sexual gratification. This dopamine release tells the brain that whatever it just experienced, it’s worth getting more. And that helps animals and humans alter their behaviors in ways that will help them attain more of the rewarding item or experience.

Dopamine even affects moods. Things that are rewarding tend to make us feel pretty good. Lowering dopamine can make us lose interest in activities we usually find pleasurable. Dopamine does a lot of things, but here we’re focusing on the relationship between dopamine levels and sexual activity. Since dopamine is commonly associated with the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, it can cause feelings of pleasure if we partake in or anticipate having sexual activity.

 

Oxytocin

Oxytocin often called the love drug, is a powerful hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It is responsible for feelings of trust, connectedness, closeness, and protection. While a burst of oxytocin is produced during orgasm, oxytocin is released during all forms of intimate activity, which includes touching, hugging, and caressing.

 

Prolactin

Prolactin is a hormone and neurotransmitter produced in the pituitary gland. Two main hormones, one of which is dopamine, control prolactin production. Dopamine sends a message to the pituitary gland, primarily indicating whether to begin or cease the production of prolactin. Dopamine restrains the production of prolactin.

This neurotransmitter has over three hundred uses within the body, but it’s effects on orgasm are the most well researched in comparison to others. An orgasm, through either physical sex or masturbation, results in the pituitary gland releasing a large amount of prolactin into the bloodstream. Prolactin in men directly affects the refractory period after orgasm before they can maintain an erection and engage in sexual activities again.

 

Role Of Neurotransmitters In Chastity

Here are some simple details that explain the role of the three essential neurotransmitters in chastity.

Dopamine is the intense pleasure hormone, a built-in reward system. We might call dopamine the crack cocaine of neurotransmitters. It produces high highs, followed by a deep crash. As chaste males, we want dopamine.

Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” is involved in bonding, intimacy, and trust. Keyholders want oxytocin because this hormone is what produces the positive behavioral changes in a chaste male that the keyholder finds beneficial.

Prolactin can be called the “satisfaction hormone.” It’s like the antidote to the dopamine and oxytocin. At orgasm, when a large amount of prolactin gets released, it shuts down the sex stuff. In chastity relationships between a chaste male and his partner keyholder, no one wants this.

 

Takeaway

Dopamine levels continually increase over time through frequent sexual play and intimacy with your partner when you do not get sexual release. For some guys, just wearing a chastity device can increase their dopamine levels because they find it arousing. That all helps to maintain the sense of constant, heightened arousal chaste men crave.

The dopamine contributes to the release of oxytocin, which is what causes chaste males to pay more attention to their partner keyholders, behave more affectionately and caring, become less argumentative, and feel happier and less stressed in general. Oxytocin builds up and stays high all the time, making chaste men more attentive, aroused, and eager to please their keyholder. The more teasing, the more oxytocin. The gradual increase in oxytocin levels continues as long as there is teasing, and the keyholder denies him orgasm.

Once a keyholder allows a chaste man to orgasm, there is a massive release of oxytocin and dopamine, which in turn produces the release of prolactin. Almost instantly, he loses sexual desire, intimate feelings, and submissiveness. It then takes as many as seven to ten days to rebuild the levels of dopamine and oxytocin. It’s easy to see why many keyholders ration orgasms carefully.

Chaste men do experience behavioral changes. Now you know the established scientific reasons why it occurs.

Continue Reading
0
chastity

Chastity And Other Kinks

By on Monday, June 15, 2020

Does chastity always lead to cuckolding? No, sometimes, cuckolding leads to chastity. I’m kidding. Chastity doesn’t always lead to cuckolding, and cuckolding doesn’t always lead to chastity. They are separate and independent kinks.

When I first visited a chastity forum website that I still visit occasionally, I was surprised by the number of posts I saw related to cuckolding, feminization, forced-bi, CEI, and SPH. Years ago, I was quite involved in the BDSM scene, and so I come from more of a kink background than a vanilla one. Still, none of those things were kinks that ever appealed to me.

In this post, I want to look at why some other fetishes and kinks seem to get lumped in with chastity.

Chastity And Cuckolding

Since I led off with it, we’ll look at cuckolding first. In my kinkier days, I knew plenty of people who were into cuckolding, but who didn’t wear chastity cages. Guys I knew who desired being cuckolded were typically submissive men who were attracted to the humiliation aspect of it. They often liked other forms of humiliation play as well. But today you do sometimes meet chaste men who want their partners to cuckold them. And there is a logic to it.

Enforced chastity produces a greater sense of emasculation for some guys than others. Also, when a guy gets periods of constant teasing without orgasm, oxytocin builds up and stays high all the time. That makes him not only horny, but more attentive, affectionate, obedient, and eager to please the woman holding his keys. At some point, the guy may think, “Hey, I’m locked up, she’s not. Since I can’t give her penetrative sex, why not let her get that from another guy?” It just sort of makes cognitive sense for some guys

The longer a guy in chastity thinks about it, the more he may become intrigued with the idea of his wife or girlfriend keyholder being intimate with another man. The more he thinks about it, the more he fantasizes about it, and the hotter the idea sounds. Then he ends up proposing the idea to his partner. At least that’s the way it usually works. Just like chastity, it is typically the guy who suggests cuckolding to his wife or partner. There are instances where the wife or partner suggests it first, but almost always, that happens with couples who are already in full-blown female-led relationships.

Feminization

Feminization, also known as sissification, is another distinct, unconnected kink that often gets lumped in with chastity. For the uninformed, it’s the practice of a dominant person forcing a submissive male partner to dress as a female and encouraging or training them to adopt (typically exaggerated) feminine behaviors and appearances.

Some guys in chastity may desire to be feminized because they want to take emasculation even further than the sense of it they get from just wearing a chastity device. They may ask their keyholder to add feminization to the mix. Or, the keyholder may suggest it. Regardless, feminization is usually “forced” in the sense the chaste male pretends he doesn’t want to be feminized and finds it humiliating when the truth is it is something he wants. The “forced” aspect of it relieves him of the responsibility for becoming a sissy, yet allows him to enjoy the humiliation play he wants that makes it appealing.

One problem with forced feminization is some lifestyle, and even pro-dommes who act as keyholders are under the mistaken impression that every guy who wants to wear a chastity device also wants to be trained to look and behave as a female. I once had a domme tell me that chastity was just the gateway drug to feminization. That’s not true at all. Many guys simply enjoy having a keyholder lock their penises in chastity cages and take pleasure in the thrill of not knowing when or if their keyholder will unlock them.

Other Kinks And Fetishes That Are Connected With Chastity

Small penis humiliation (SPH), forced-bi, and cum eating instructions (CEI) are three other different kinks that are often lumped in with chastity.

Again, I’m not suggesting some guys in chastity don’t desire to experience those things, but they aren’t part of chastity, but separate kink interests. Just because a guy feels an attraction to chastity doesn’t mean he is interested in SPH, forced-bi, or CEI.

There’s Nothing Wrong With That

Nothing I’ve written here suggests I think there is anything wrong with any of those other kinks and fetishes or with someone who finds them erotic and enjoyable. Coming from a kink background myself, I don’t engage in kink-shaming.

Kink-shaming is just what it sounds like, shaming or embarrassing someone for their sexual interests or desires when they don’t line up with what you think is normal. I respect the kinks of others, even when it happens to be something that doesn’t appeal to me. My philosophy is live and let live. As long as no one is harmed, no one is victimized, and everything that happens is consensual among all involved parties, then I see nothing wrong with it.

Still, I have the things I like, and there are things others like I just don’t find enjoyable or erotic.

Why This Matters

There are several reasons I think we should resist the idea that chastity, by definition, incorporates a lot of other kinks some may find extreme.

First, as said, some dommes get it wrong. Some lifestyle and pro-dommes who are chastity keyholders I’ve come across, especially on social media, often make false assumptions. They come across a lot of legitimately submissive types, guys who like chastity, and also find it erotic to be called “slut,” “loser,” “sissy,” or what have you.

They meet guys who are turned on by being subjected to small penis humiliation. Dommes know some guys get a thrill out of being made to wear women’s underwear or other articles of female clothing. But, they get it wrong when they assume all guys who are into chastity are the same and want the same things. We just aren’t, and we don’t. We don’t all want a heaping helping of humiliation to go with our chastity.

Also, the way chastity is too often presented on the Internet is it goes hand in hand with a guy being submissive and desiring stuff like feminization, forced-bi, or cuckolding.

When the average Joe approaches his mostly vanilla wife or girlfriend and reveals he wants to wear a chastity device, these women often turn to the web to learn what chastity is and what a keyholder is. Many of them come away thinking chastity is bizarre and that keyholders must be foul-mouthed, whip-cracking dominatrices. They just don’t see themselves in that role and are turned off by the whole idea of chastity. What they often find is porn and don’t usually learn from the Internet stuff that chastity play can be enjoyed without any of those things. They don’t come away seeing how keyholding can be sensual, loving, and kind.

Finally, as chastity becomes more mainstream, lots of otherwise vanilla men are becoming interested in wearing chastity devices. They need to know that chastity may change them in some ways. But they also must understand putting on a chastity cage doesn’t mean they are jumping down some kink rabbit hole that is going to change them into something they don’t want.

You can find wearing a penis cage and practicing chastity enjoyable and meaningful without adding any other kinks. It’s okay if you want to incorporate other kinks, but chastity is its own thing.

Continue Reading
0
chastity male chasity devices

I’m Back In The Chastity Saddle Again

By on Saturday, June 13, 2020

As of Thursday, June 11, I’m back in the chastity saddle again, locked by my new keyholder who we’ll call Goddess Camille. This time we’ve agreed to a full one-month lock up. It feels good to be under the steady hand of GC once again after a few days of self-locking while wear testing the CB-6000.

Whoopi-ty-aye-yay

I go my way

Back in the saddle again

I’m also sporting a new chastity cage for the month, the Amicus from Male Chastity Now (MCN) that I recently purchased. I have to say I already love this cage, though I made errors when I ordered it.

An Amicus Experiment Gone Wrong

I’ve thought for a while now that I needed to try some new things—a 1/4-inch cage to base ring gap rather than my usual 3/8-inch gap, and an oval-shaped instead of a round base ring. Also, because my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress turned too much when I wore it with a plastic numbered lock for the first time, I thought I’d drop down to a 1-5/8 inch base ring in hopes of solving that problem. Since the MCN devices have an identical mechanism for mating the cage to the ring as MM, I decided to change all three variables when I ordered the Amicus. Mark at MCN delivered precisely what I asked for. Unfortunately, through no fault of his, it didn’t work at all.

I’ve worn a 1-5/8 inch base ring before without problems. But, I’ve never worn an oval-shaped ring, which I learned makes a significant difference. As soon as I put the ring on, I knew it was too tight. The middle of the ring behind my ball sack put a lot of compression on a spot where it didn’t feel good at all. I toughed it out for an hour, hoping it was only a new sensation I’d acclimate to, but it only got worse with time. So, immediately, I went back to the MCN site and ordered my usual 1-7/8 inch round base ring.

A Welcome Discovery

Since I’d hoped to get the Amicus in time for my first full month with GC and did, I was bummed about ordering a base ring that didn’t work. But, after taking off the ring, I noticed something. It looked very much like the base rings for my MM device. Would the rings interchange, I wondered? I grabbed my MM 1-7/8 inch round ring. Parts from different chastity devices NEVER interchange. But, to my surprise, the MM ring fit like a champ. Problem solved! I put on the MM base ring, put the cage back on, and it fit like a glove.

The Amicus Device

I’ll be doing a full review once I’ve worn the Amicus for a while, but I’ll share a few details here.

As noted on the MCN website, the Amicus is a semi-custom device meaning it is not fully customizable. MCN uses pre-made cages they get from a manufacturer in China. But, whoa Nelly! These cages are definitely nothing like the made in China cages I’ve seen in the past. They are high end, 316 surgical-grade stainless steel with smooth, symmetric welds. Similar to the Mature Metal cages, the Amicus cage is polished to a high gloss finish inside and out.

MCN uses the outsourced pre-made cages so they can offer a near custom-made product at a less expensive price point. The company does manufacture the stainless steel base rings to order. The only thing that keeps the Amicus from being a custom-made device is you can’t customize the internal diameter of the cage. They all come in the standard 1-1/4 inch size. For me, that wasn’t a problem. I usually wear devices with a 1-3/8 inch ID, but the 1-1/4 works fine. For someone new to the chastity lifestyle and on a budget, this is an ideal situation.

There are plenty of options available for the Amicus. You can get the base ring with a specific ID (1-5/8 – 2-1/4), a customized ring-to-cage gap (1/4, 3/8, or 1/2), And, there are three different cage lengths to choose from that will accommodate flaccid penis lengths from two to three inches. You also have a choice between a padlock or a security screw.

MCN Quality And Service

From an aesthetic point of view, I loved the looks of my Amicus right out of the box. The craftsmanship and quality, in my estimation, compares most favorably with that of my MM device.

Shipping was unbelievably fast! Four days after I placed my order, the Amicus was in my mailbox. I’m wearing the device for the third day, after sleeping in it the last two nights. I haven’t had a single problem with it since I worked out my base ring ordering error. The cage fits me perfectly. I absolutely would not hesitate to buy from MCN again. That’s great for me since I ordered the Amicus as a trial run before ordering MCN’s fully customizable Contender. I’m sure I’ll be doing that soon since I am delighted with my first MCN experience.

If you’re in the market for a quality stainless steel chastity cage with a price that won’t break the bank, have a look at the Amicus. Though it’s not fully custom, it’s a great semi-custom option at an excellent price.

Also, if you make a measurement mistake or want minor adjustments, no worries. Mark, the owner of MCN, is very responsive, knowledgeable, and will give you a quick turnaround, based on what some of my other chastity friends who buy from him have told me.

I’ll be posting a full review of the Amicus soon, and I’ll be providing updates to my one-month lock up for GC.

Continue Reading
0
male chastity device reviews

CB-6000 Review

By on Friday, June 12, 2020

Having worn one, finally, I’m ready to offer a CB-6000 review on the first popular mass-manufactured chastity device ever made. The CB line of penis cages likely has persuaded many guys to give male chastity a try for the first time. Based on all the positive reviews I’ve read since I became interested in chastity, it is one of the devices I recommended in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity to chastity beginners.

cb6000-review

Introduction

CB-X manufacturers two CB-6000 models, penis cages made of medical grade polycarbonate, a highly durable plastic material. The standard model, the CB-6000, has a 3-1/4 inch cage with a 1-3/8 inch inside diameter. I tried out the other model, the CB-6000S (The “S” denotes short). It has a 2-1/2 inch cage and the same internal diameter. As a grower, not a shower, I prefer shorter cages.

Meet The CB-6000

The CB-6000S is another ball-trapping device, but it comes with more than the usual three parts.

  • 5 base ring sizes—1-1/2″ ID, 1-5/8″ ID, 1-3/4″ ID, 1-7/8″ ID, 2″ ID.
  • 3 different locking pins
  • 3 different spacers
  • Brass padlock
  • 5 numbered plastic tamper-evident locks

The various base ring sizes, locking pins, and spacers are intended to give wearers options aimed at achieving something close to a customized fit. The different pins and spacers allow flexibility as far as the cage-to-ring gap, which I think is a useful feature. The only measurement needed to order a CB device is the flaccid penis length.

The CB-6000S base rings are a little different from those of other devices. They are round rings with a gap at the top. Two other crescent-shaped pieces are supplied that close the ring into a complete circle. One has two white plastic pegs that help support and stabilize the unit while worn. It is inserted from the back. The second piece goes on the front of the base ring and slides over the two white posts. The locking pin is also inserted from the back. It isn’t perfectly circular by design so that it won’t turn after insertion.

I suppose the three-piece design of the ring makes it easier to put on by someone unfamiliar with putting on a ring worn around the penis and behind the testicles. But I found it easier to assemble the entire ring first and then putting on as I do any other base ring. Instead of rounded edges inside, the plastic base rings have squared-edges.

Fit

With the flexibility of the selection of base rings, locking pins, and spacers, I was able to obtain a good overall fit with the CB-6000S. At 2-1/2 inches long, and with the 1-3/8 inch ID, the dimensions of the cage are the same as my custom-made Mature Metal device, giving me the perfectly fitted cage as expected. However, because of all the combinations available, it did take some experimentation to get the final fit that felt best.

Knowing that finding the best fit would be a trial and error exercise, I approached it systematically. I used the largest ring and the longest locking pin and spacer combination first. It felt reasonably secure even though the 2-inch ring was larger than what I usually wear with my steel devices. Because the plastic cage is so lightweight, I went for comfort using the larger ring because of the hard-edges inside it. I wore the device all day without any problems.

After going to bed, while rolling from one side to the other, my left testicle popped out of the base ring. Since I had to get up and remove the device to put it back on correctly, I changed to a 1-7/8 inch ring, and the middle-sized locking pin and spacer. That got me through the first night wearing the cage without further incident.

On the second day, I replaced the 1-7/8 inch ring with the 1-3/4 inch, my usual size, and tried the shortest locking pin and spacer. The ring was fine, but I found that combination less comfortable and went back to using the middle-sized pin and spacer. That turned out to be the best overall fit, and I kept it for the duration of my wear test. On the whole, I found the fit better than a lot of the off-the-shelf steel cages I’ve tried.

Comfort

Mostly because of the way the base ring is designed with the square edges inside, I didn’t find the CB-6000S to be as comfortable as my well-fitting stainless steel cages. I wouldn’t say I experienced any actual discomfort, and I didn’t suffer any abrasions or tender spots from the ring. It was more like uncomfortable in a sense I can’t imagine I’d ever not notice I was wearing the device. There was a spot in the middle of my scrotum where the ring made its presence continually felt. I think in time, I may have grown accustomed to it, but three days of wear was not long enough for that to happen.

One thing I did like was the device was so much lighter than steel cages. That was one favorable trade-off.

Except for the first night when my testicle escaped, and I had to get out of bed and fix the problem, I didn’t experience any difficulties sleeping while wearing the CB-6000S. Since the cage was the proper size for me, there were no issues with the spontaneous nocturnal erections discomfort.

Hygiene

Hygiene, I think, is the biggest shortcoming of the CB-6000S. It’s a solid cage that encloses the penis. While there are side vents that are supposed to be there for hygienic reasons, I don’t think they serve any real purpose in that regard. Keeping the contents of the cage clean while wearing it without special supplies would be problematic at best during long-term wear. The only realistic option would be removing the cage periodically for a thorough cleaning.

Urination was another issue. I tried peeing while standing once just as an experiment—a bad idea. Expect to sit while peeing while wearing this device. That’s not unexpected with most any chastity device, but the CB-6000S was worse in the urination department than any other device I’ve worn.

Recommendation

The CB-6000S accomplishes what it is designed to do, though it isn’t the most comfortable device I’ve worn. That’s almost entirely because of the design of the base ring. If CB-X would only round the inside edges, I think it would be a huge comfort improvement. Also, from a purely aesthetic perspective, I wasn’t impressed. The CB-6000S is an ugly unit. Still, because of the price point and the customization options it offers, I stand by my past recommendations that it is an appropriate and serviceable device for those just getting started with chastity. Many knowledgeable people I know insist that The Holy Trainer is a better option for beginners than the CB-6000 devices. But since I haven’t yet tested The Holy Trainer, I can’t make that claim.

If you’re thinking of buying a CB-6000 device, avoid buying those offered on Amazon and eBay. The CB-X website states clearly neither is an authorized CB-X retailer. You won’t find the genuine CB-6000 on those sites. So, if you purchase a “CB-6000” from either place to save a few bucks, you will get a knockoff version.

Continue Reading
0
Uncategorized

Chastity Troubleshooting

By on Thursday, June 11, 2020

As I travel the web and visit online chastity forums, I often see this kind of statement. “Help! I want to commit to long-term chastity, but it’s so hard. I can’t keep my cage on for more than a few days at a time.” Let’s look at chastity troubleshooting.

Chasity has both a physical and a mental component. For guys who want to go long but can’t, it’s usually either a physical issue or a mental roadblock. So, let’s figure it out.

Cage Fit Issues

The first thing to look at on the physical side is the chastity cage fit. A poorly fitting cage is one big reason guys can’t get past a few days to longer wear periods. If wearing a chastity device causes you pain or an unacceptable level of discomfort, that’s a fit issue. Having a cock cage that fits well is a must if you’re going to stay locked for long periods.

As a guy with an average size penis and ordinary size testicles, most off-the-shelf cages work for me. I do pay attention to things like internal cage diameter and length, but with mass-manufactured devices, that’s about the best you can do.

Guys who are on the larger end of the penis spectrum or who have balls that are really tight against the base of their penises can have more difficulty finding workable off-the-shelf options. That’s because either the internal diameter of the cage is too small, the gap between the cage and base ring is too close, or the largest standard base ring size is too small.

There is always going to be some level of discomfort when wearing a chastity cage, especially when you’re just beginning. The feel of the base ring behind the scrotum takes some getting used to. Also, friction and the compression from the base ring often causes some chafing, irritation, or tenderness of the skin beneath the ring in spots until the skin toughens up.

For the minor skin issues and discomfort, all you can do is apply lubricant regularly and power through the minor discomfort until your body adjusts to having a foreign object attached to your genitals. But things like broken skin, sores, or recurring pinching are all signs of a poorly fitting cage that cause real discomfort or pain that must be addressed.

If you’ve tried one or more of the inexpensive foreign-made cages and haven’t found a reasonably well-fitting device because of your anatomy, you only have two choices. If you’re larger than average, you may have no choice but to spend the money on a custom-made device built to your specifications. If your issue is large balls or the type that rides high and tight against the base of your penis, you may have to look at a device like the CB-6000 that allows for the cage to base ring gap adjustment.

The bottom line is you must have a cage that fits well enough that it is reasonably comfortable. If you are dealing with significant discomfort or pain, the annoyance will overwhelm the hotness of chastity and prevent you from reaching that glowing state of chastity bliss.

The Horniness Factor

When you put on a chastity cage, you’re transitioning from your male body getting exactly what it wants and demands to not. It’s an uncomfortable change, and your body doesn’t like it. About a day after your last orgasm, about every five minutes, your body says, “Wait, what? You mean, I can’t come? Why can’t I come? I need! Give me now!” The frustration and irritation mounts. Some guys throw in the towel, unlock, and indulge in getting the immediate relief they crave.

An older male with a lower sex drive may well have an easier time with this aspect of acclimating to chastity. A younger male with a high functioning sex drive will often find the horniness factor harder to deal with, especially if he doesn’t have a keyholder and is self-locking. Male sexual desire is a force to be reckoned with, which is why it’s called a sex “drive.” For most of us, will power alone will not suffice.

If you find yourself unlocking because you get so horny you can’t continue, then there is really only one good option. Get a keyholder. If you don’t have a partner and don’t have a friend to ask to be your keyholder, then get a for-fee keyholder. It makes a world of difference.

When you have access to the keys to your device, it’s all on you to hold yourself back from unlocking. Hour after painful hour, you have to keep telling yourself you aren’t going to crumble…until you finally crumble.

When you have a keyholder, it’s a whole different ballgame. The onus is on her to keep you locked, which is an easy task. She isn’t the one who must forgo orgasms. And, having a keyholder just makes chastity so much more fun.

Of course, some guys stymied by their high sex drive have a partner as a keyholder. They end up sabotaging their efforts to go long by whining and begging their partners for release after only a few days in their cages. Some take it a step further by becoming passive-aggressive if their partners won’t relent. That can be a real turn off for keyholders. This situation really comes down to motivation. Is long-term chastity something you really want?

Often, in-cage releases with the use of a vibrator against the cage or prostate milking can get you through the rough patches and on the one way to more extended wear periods. You can do both with or without keyholder.

Arousal Drop

Arousal drop is the exact opposite of the “I get so horny” problem. Some guys report that they like chastity and want to wear their cages longer periods, but can’t get there. While wearing the cage for a few days is overwhelmingly arousing, after that, they lose interest. Chastity just feels like an annoyance. This problem often results from lack of stimulation, the teasing part of teasing and denial.

When a guy first puts on a cage, usually his arousal gets a bump and will continue to climb for a while. But it won’t just keep rising to infinity and beyond. The male sexual response cycle doesn’t work that way. At some point, your body figures out it isn’t going to get an orgasm soon and can lose interest. Arousal drops, and chastity isn’t fun anymore.

The Need For Tease

I think guys who self-lock have this problem sometimes, but it can also be an issue for guys with a keyholder. If you have a keyholder who, for whatever reason, doesn’t provide enough teasing or effective teasing, arousal drop can ensue. That’s an issue for me. After about a week with no teasing, my arousal level starts dropping until it flat lines. I then get bored, lose interest, and soon everything about wearing a cage gets annoying.

If it’s a keyholder issue, then you must talk with them and explain you’re having a problem. If they can’t or won’t address the problem, then you may just have to look for a different keyholder.

For guys who self-lock and run into this problem, they must find a way to get the stimulation they need to keep their arousal at a high level. For some, maybe it’s watching some porn. For others, perhaps doing in cage edging with a vibrator, or enjoying some anal play is the ticket. Whatever it is, getting the needed teasing will usually stave off the feelings of boredom and loss of interest.

The Chastity Cycle

When you’re having trouble keeping your cage on for longer periods, it can be helpful to grasp a good understanding of the chastity cycle.

After a guy has an orgasm and ejaculates, his sexual desire and interest in sexual release evaporates temporarily. Sexual desire falls precipitously to its lowest levels. When we were new to chastity, who among us didn’t opt to have that last spurt before locking up for a stint in the chastity cage. That made the first day or two easy.

But, as we know, we rascally males don’t keep our heads down long. Within twenty-four hours for most guys, sexual desire begins to return slowly. We may not notice it at first, but by the second or third day, it starts taking over our one-tracked minds, and we’re getting ready for some relief. That’s why the days two to four are the most difficult for most men. It’s a lot like the way the third or fourth day of a diet is when people are the most temptation prone and why so many dieters are likely to give in then and fail.

Sometime after day four, depending on the guy, your body will slowly start to realize that orgasm is not imminent, and it’s a waste of resources to keep expecting relief at any second. You will begin to stabilize and start accepting chastity both mentally and physically.

In this phase of the chastity cycle, your expectations for orgasm have been lowered enough that your mind and body stop actively fighting chastity. In this phase, you start to experience chastity, to feel the sensations of ever-growing arousal and ever-intensifying desire. For guys, sexual desire is pleasurable. It becomes a sweet sensation that never stops, made only a little bittersweet by occasional waves of the almost overwhelming need for relief. But don’t worry. Those pass quickly if you stay the course.

The Open Road To Chastity Bliss

Once you’re past day five or six, assuming you’ve got a decently comfortable cage, you’re on the open road to chastity bliss cruising along with the top down and the wind blowing through your hair.

This phase can last for three to four weeks. Once you’ve hit the two-week milestone, you should be able to last a month as long as you don’t take your foot off the gas. You should feel more and more aroused gradually. Chastity should start feeling better and better.

It may take several rounds, and several months of wearing your cage for three to four weeks at a time for your mind to evolve and your body to acclimate. But eventually, it will happen. There will come a day when after you experience the letdown that follows orgasm, you will actually crave going back into chastity. You’ll miss the glow so much you will reach the point you don’t want to be unlocked when the end of a third or fourth week rolls around.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope you’ve found a few usable chastity troubleshooting tips that will help you go beyond wearing your device for only a few days to fun and enjoyable, long-term wear.

Continue Reading
0
chastity locktober

Locktober By The Numbers

By on Wednesday, June 10, 2020

October, the tenth month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian calendars, and the sixth of seven months to have a length of 31 days. October is all about enjoying the last waning days of fall before the onslaught of holiday planning and New Year’s resolution-making take hold.

There’s nothing like feeling the crisp October air and digging out your favorite sweater for the first time of the season. As the brilliant L. M. Montgomery wrote in Anne of Green Gables, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

But, since around 2015, October has also been the month that the chastity community observes Locktober, that time of the year where chastity enthusiasts stay locked in their devices for one solid month.

chastity

Will you be observing Locktober this year? Locktober is for those curious about male chastity, but have never tried it, and for those who have only ever tried wearing a chastity cage for short periods. It’s also for those already practicing chastity, with hopes of taking things to the next level by staying locked for thirty-one straight days.

The History Of Locktober

The answer to the question—who created Locktober, remains murky. Many attribute the idea to a Tumblr blogger. Locktober was mentioned in a post on a blog called “Keep Him Locked: A Wife’s Guide to Male Chastity and Cock Cages” in 2017. However, I found a post from 2015 in the forums at orgasmdenial.com about Locktober. A member posting there using the handle submaleslaveuk seemed to claim credit for the event. Still, there is no definitive answer to who originated the idea of thirty-one straight days locked in chastity during October.

What seems a little clearer is that either 2016 or 2017 seems the first year Locktober was widely observed. So, despite who first coined the term or originated the idea, it seems fair to say that 2020 will be either the fourth or fifth annual observance of Locktober.

The Locktober Rule Book

After making a systematic web search, I discovered there seems to be no official rule book for observing Locktober. The only hard and fast rule seems to be that participants must remain locked in a chastity device for the entire month of October.

Purists insist the cage cannot be unlocked or removed for any reason, no even for hygiene releases. That seems a little draconian to me. Sure, with an open cage-type chastity device, I suppose a guy could wear it non-stop for the entire month without any health concerns. But, I think wearing a chastity tube device that fully encloses the penis for that length of time without hygiene releases wouldn’t be sensible.

A few others I encountered during my meticulous research for this post seemed to suggest that the real point of Locktober is going orgasm free for an entire month. Sort of a Lent season for chaste males. They seemed fine with the idea of removing the chastity cage for brief periods for hygiene purposes and even when a keyholder wishes to remove it for teasing sessions.

Yet submaleslaveuk, the guy who seems to claim he originated Locktober in 2015, describes in his forum post having a vibrator-assisted orgasm while locked in his chastity cage. If he invented the chastity event, then it seems he has a right to say in-cage orgasms are kosher.

A Common Sense Approach To Locktober

As a rule of thumb, I’ve always found you never go wrong when you apply common sense to something, even kink activities or fetish observances. I also think a grown man should be able to decide for himself how he will observe Locktober in a meaningful way. I don’t see a reason we need to get legalistic about Locktober observances.

For me, that means brief weekly hygiene releases are acceptable. Also, I wouldn’t even cry foul at anyone who chooses to have in-cage orgasms. Having experienced those, they are more like “ruined orgasms,” anyway. I’d only flag those who remove the cage during the month and enjoy full, unrestricted orgasms. I think that would violate the spirit of the event.

Only 114 Shopping Days Left Until Locktober

For those who may think it’s too early to start planning for Locktober here in June, I beg to differ. If you’re considering participating this year, but don’t own a chastity device, you only have 114 days left to choose one and buy it. Or, for those who do have a cage they aren’t satisfied with, to complete their quest for the holy grail, that comfortable cage with a perfect fit to wear non-stop for a whole month. You can check my chastity device reviews for ideas.

Also, if you’re not fortunate enough to have a partner as your keyholder, you need time to start looking for someone to hold your keys. Many of the ladies that provide for-fee keyholding services run special deals for Locktober. It’s best to find a keyholder early to reserve your spot before they fill up.

I’m giving some thought to celebrating Locktober 2020 in style by maybe hosting some kind of a contest here on CutToTheChaste. Perhaps I’ll have a random drawing and give away prizes. I don’t have a firm plan yet, but I thought maybe I could give away a free chastity device, books on chastity, or tee shirts with a chastity theme. I definitely plan to do something, and I’ll post the information once I have a plan in place.

Meanwhile, save the date. I hope you will join me in the observance of Locktober 2020. October will be here before we know it.

Continue Reading
0
Uncategorized

Chaste’s Random Chastity Short Takes

By on Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The term “short takes” originated from the film industry. It refers to brief scene recordings. I decided to use it in the title of this post because I have three things I’ve promised to post about, but the topics are all too short to warrant separate posts. So, here are my random chastity short takes for June 2020.

chastity

Transitioned Into The CB-6000S Today

Last week I mentioned I’d be wear-testing and posting a review of the CB-6000 soon. If you check the “My Current Status” tab regularly, then you probably noticed I switched to wearing a CB-6000S today. I received it last week.

Since the CB-6000 is one of the devices I recommend to new guys (based on reviews I’ve read), I figured the least I could do was to spend the money to buy one and road test it myself.

I have to say, after the first eight hours of wear, I’m favorably impressed. I’ll be sleeping in it for the first time tonight. It is amazingly lightweight compared to the stainless steel devices I usually wear. So, expect a review in a few days.

Sitrep on New Keyholder Status

As mentioned in the June 1, “Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do” post, I have a new keyholder. Today I completed the two-week trial with her. I must say our first interaction went spectacularly from my perspective. She devotes a satisfying amount of attention to me, but in deference to my experience wearing chastity devices, she doesn’t micromanage me. I appreciate that since I’m not a natural submissive type and don’t take to micromanagement well.

Along with the keyholding service, I bought up to get teasing and denial and am so glad I did. She gave me a task to do daily during the two weeks that was oh so effective at keeping my arousal ramped up. It was the same task, but it changed a little bit each day so that I never became bored with it. Her fees are very reasonable, and in my estimation, she is worth every penny.

On June 11, she will lock me for a full month. If that goes as well as the two-week trial, I plan to open the discussion with her about an open-ended agreement going forward. Until then, I’m self-locking for the CB-6000 wear test and review. That keeps my string of consecutive days locked since May 25 unbroken as I didn’t take a release.

I’ll stay locked in the CB-6000 until June 11 when I pick it back up with my keyholder. So far, so good, and steady as she goes. I still miss Lady Jayne, but I think I may have found a keeper in my present keyholder. I’ll continue to post updates on this as the situation warrants.

New Chasity Cage Ordered

male-chastity-now-amicusSo, I had some extra bucks this month and decided to pull the trigger on a new stainless-steel job I’ve had my eye on for a while. Mark, at Male Chastity Now (MCN), a custom-made chastity device fabricator, makes it. It’s called Amicus.

The Amicus is not technically a custom-made device since it has a pre-made cage. You must take it with the standard internal diameter of 1-1/4 inches. They do that (pre-made cage) to create a less expensive device. As a comparison, MCN’s fully customizable device, the Contender, sells for $320. That’s comparable to the cost of Mature Metal’s Jailbird. But the Amicus sells for only $165.

I own an off-the-shelf cage that has a cage with a 1-1/4 inches diameter, so I know it works for me even though I usually wear cages with a 1-3/8 inches diameter. There are three essential adjustments you can get with the Amicus—base ring diameter (not limited to just the usual three standard sizes), cage length, and ring to gap measurement.

I ordered my custom-made Mature Metal cage with a 3/8 inches ring to gap measurement. I’ve started feeling I should have gone with 1/4 inch instead, so I ordered the Amicus with that gap. If it seems to work better for me, I’ll ship my Watchful Mistress back to Mature Metal to have the gap adjusted.

I’m looking forward to trying out the MCN Amicus. I’ve seen great reviews on the quality of workmanship and the fit. Also, the company claims to make the lightest weight stainless steel devices available. Expect a review soon.

Continue Reading
0
pro-domme key holders

Guide To Finding A Professional Chastity Keyholder

By on Monday, June 8, 2020

This post, a guide to finding a professional chastity keyholder, is meant for guys who aren’t in a relationship and who want an actual keyholder. Sometimes single chaste men are between relationships, and just don’t have a friend they feel comfortable asking to hold their keys. When DIY chastity gets too hard, maybe it’s time to find some professional help.

Keyholding services within the Femdom community are offered by professional dominatrices, pro-dommes, lifestyle mistresses, and others. The number of women providing keyholding services seems to be soaring right on pace with the growing interest among males to wear chastity devices.

As a guy who has used online prop chastity keyholders, I’ll offer here some advice and tips I learned from trial and error. After reading this post, you should be able to find the right pro for you, even if it’s your first time.

What Are Pro Keyholding Services?

Professional keyholding services are literally that. Someone holds the keys to a chastity device for a fee. Usually, it’s a dominant woman experienced in male chastity who holds the keys to a guy’s chastity device, without necessarily having any other sort of relationship with him.

The length of time the keys are held can vary. Depending on the specific set-up of your keyholding service, the duration may be pre-arranged, or it can be open-ended. In that case, it’s up to the discretion of the keyholder, unless you request an early release and she permits it, of course.

How Much Does Pro Keyholding Cost?

As with most other for-fee services, the costs for pro keyholding vary widely. Since each keyholder sets her prices, there doesn’t seem to be any set going rate for these services. Each keyholder sets the price she feels her keyholding service is worth, and that’s the price you’ll need to pay. Some keyholders have a set price across the board. Others tailor their prices according to the person, and the particulars of the services provided. Often a keyholder sets her prices based on her popularity within chastity circles and her level of expertise.

Expect to pay more for services from a keyholder who has no difficulty acquiring clients or keeping the number of clients she wants, and those who have a lot of chastity experience.

Also, the specific type of keyholder makes a difference. As a rule, expect to pay a professional dominatrix more than a pro-domme and a pro-domme more than a lifestyle mistress. That has to do both mostly with the breadth of services some keyholders offer in comparison to others.

Price Comparisons

You can find professionals who will simply be your keyholder if that’s what you want. There won’t be any frills or extras with such an arrangement. They will lock you and then hold the keys for the agreed upon duration. Others also offer additional services like periodic check-ins to make sure you’ve remained locked and tease and denial services.

For basic online keyholding services, I’ve seen prices that range from $35 per week for a lifestyle mistress to $300 per week for a professional dominatrix. Dominatrices and some pro-dommes tend to be full-time sex workers who make their livings from indulging the kinks and sexual fantasies of their clients. They are often highly skilled and experienced. Many of them have formalized training. It’s only to be expected that their services command the highest prices.

Recently, I looked at the website of a pro-domme who offers keyholding services. Her fees for someone looking only for their chastity device keys to be held is $60 per week. If a person requests tease and denial throughout the keyholding, the price increases to between $125 and $200 per week. She explains the added costs are because of photographs she must take and send, the teasing emails she must carefully draft, and the other forms of teasing she adds to create a “tortuous” chastity experience clients will enjoy.

Personally, I have paid between $20 and $50 per week for online keyholding services that included keyholding and some form of teasing and denial. I’ve only used lifestyle mistresses, women for whom keyholding is only a side gig, not a full-time job. That has been a conscious choice. I consider the amounts I’ve paid reasonable and the services I’ve received well worth the investment. Maybe I’m cheap, but I can’t imagine paying $200-$300 a week to satisfy my chastity kink, especially when I’m only interested in online services.

Available Services

As with prices, some professional keyholders offer a standard service across the board, whereas others will tailor their services in a la carte fashion according to the wishes of the client. There is a set rate for the basic keyholding, and then you pay extra for any additional services you select from a menu of options.

Here is a list of additional services you can expect to find to go along with keyholding.

  • Keyholder supervised lock up via an audio-video platform like Skype.
  • Teasing via an audio-video platform.
  • Teasing by email or text.
  • Teasing by phone (usually via a platform like Nite Flirt with per-minute charges).
  • Teasing erotic photos taken and sent by the keyholder.
  • Small penis humiliation (SPH) via an audio-video platform, webcam, or submitted images.
  • Periodic surprise lock up verification checks where you must submit a proof photo with a specified time.
  • Weekly lock up verification checks by photo submission.
  • Locks (you pay for) provided by the keyholder and sent by mail to which she retains all the keys.
  • “Property of” tags (you pay for) with the name of the keyholder inscribed on them, which you can attach to your chastity device.

 

Most of the services on the list are purchased a la carte and paid for in addition to the basic keyholding service. However, I’ve seen a few professional dominatrices who insist on supervising lock up via an audio-video platform or webcam.

Chastity services provided via Skype or similar audio-video platforms are the most expensive as time must usually be purchased in hourly blocks. You pay essentially the same hourly rates that a professional charges local clients for face-to-face services delivered at her dungeon or some other private setting.

A Word About Professional Keyholders

Whether or not a pro keyholder identifies as a sex worker, you can be certain of one thing. These ladies are not prostitutes. They will not have sex with you in person and will not have cybersex with you online. They may require you to perform sexual acts like edging to accomplish teasing, but they won’t perform sexual acts for you. It’s always a dominant-submissive dynamic, and they are the dominants. They command, and you obey.

Before You Contact A Pro

A professional domme with years of experience I’m acquainted with offers these common-sense suggestions to guys looking for their first pro keyholder.

Before reaching out to a pro, know what it is you want. Do you want someone to simply hold your keys? For some guys, this is all they need, a keyholder to enforce their chastity, so they don’t have to depend on willpower alone. Other guys want teasing to go with the denial. Still, others want to be subjected to periodic surprise inspections to verify they are still locked. The reason it’s so important to know what you want is that’s the only way to judge compatibility with a prospective pro. Does she offer the services you want in the way you want them delivered and at a price you’re willing to pay?

Once you know what services you want, it’s time to start looking at some potential professionals. The easiest way to find them is the Internet. You can just Google “chastity keyholders” and get a lot of links to the websites of professional keyholders. Also, there are various Mistress directory websites online you can consult. You can even find keyholders on social media. Searching the hashtag #keyholder will lead you to some possibilities. Though in my experience, most professional keyholders don’t prefer you to make initial contact with them on social media. Most have websites and have a specific form they expect prospective clients to fill out. That lets them decide whether they feel a client is a good fit before discussing particular services and fees.

My pro acquaintance recommends that you only consider professionals who have a website. That’s an indication of legitimacy. She warns so-called “dommes” are a dime a dozen on social media, and BDSM websites and kinky dating apps are overflowing with fakes who try to shill you out of money.

When you start looking at websites, read them thoroughly. Read as much as possible before corresponding with the keyholder. Her website is there for a reason—to give the viewer an understanding of what she offers. You can get an idea of who she is by how she presents herself online. Does she sound like she knows what she’s talking about? Once you’ve read over the website of someone who interests you, then you can check out her social media presence where she interacts with other professionals. Seeing how she talks shop with other professionals on social media can provide you with an invaluable insight into her perspective on chastity, and give you an idea of her personality.

Remember, the information on a professional keyholder’s website is there for a reason. If you don’t read it, the mistress will have to answer questions, and repeat the details she has already provided on her website. Mistresses find that annoying. You don’t want to be annoying, do you? Being annoying can mean getting rejected. These ladies are always plagued by “time wasters,” guys who want their attention, but who will never pay for services. Failure to do your due diligence might be interpreted by a potential pro to mean that you fall into the time waster category. Then they will ignore you.

First Contact

Once you’ve looked at websites and narrowed it down to one or two (or maybe three) potential keyholders, it’s time to make the first contact. Usually, you will find a contact form on the websites. Fill it out clearly, succinctly, and with as much detail as you can about exactly what you’re looking for. Short one-sentence messages show zero effort. If you put zero effort into the first contact, the pro will also probably put zero effort into a response. Thought and consideration make applicants stand out. You want to stand out because many of these ladies can afford to be particular about who they accept as clients and are. Treat it like a job application. Try to impress. Be on your best behavior. Be courteous, polite, and give as much info on yourself and desires as reasonably possible. Do tell them how much experience you have with wearing chastity devices if applicable. Then wait for a reply. In my experience, professionals reply to inquires promptly, usually within a day or two at most.

Next Step

Once a pro responds to your initial contact, if they are interested, it will spark a discussion, usually in the form of a few email exchanges. Some will ask for more information. If she asks specific questions out of you, answer them. It’s a very straightforward process. Chances are she has done this thousands of times already and knows exactly what she needs to ask and what information she needs to have. Answer the questions truthfully. Don’t omit information because you feel embarrassed about something. If you’re embarrassed about your needs and desires, I guarantee that they will never be met and fulfilled.

Pro keyholders may ask you to list your “limits.” Most of them will. If you’re not familiar with limits, it is simply things you are unwilling to do with regard to your chastity experience. For example, you won’t provide images of you wearing a chastity device that shows your face. Or, you won’t engage in Skype calls or appear on a webcam.

Limits is a term used by “play partners” in BDSM and other power exchange relationships. Since the relationship between a chastity device wearer and his keyholder is a power exchange relationship, limits are a necessary part of chastity agreements. Limits can cover a lot of things. You may want to review a play partner play list like the one on this website. Consider any of the activities that might be used in tease and denial with an eye for things you would or wouldn’t be willing to do.

Agreement Or Contract

Once the professional has a firm idea of what you want and you a good idea of what services she can or will provide, it’s decision time. If you feel you have found a keyholder who will be a good fit for you, she will send you a written agreement or contract to sign that contains the details of what you both have agreed to. As a minimum, the agreement will include—duration of the agreement, services the keyholder will provide, keyholder’s rules or expectations, “proof of lock” procedure, cancellation rights and process, fees, and how you will pay the keyholder.

Fixed Duration Or Open-Ended

Most professionals offer either fixed duration keyholding or open-ended keyholding. Fixed duration means a specific length of time—two weeks, one month, two months, etc. Open-ended means keyholding service agreements with no specified end date. The agreement continues as long as you pay the required fees.

Based on my experience, I recommend going with a fixed duration agreement first. Ideally, two-weeks if the professional you’re considering offers that. One month would be the next option, which is usually available. This gives you and the keyholder the chance to see how well you work together. After that “trial” period you can decide whether you want to transition to an open-ended agreement.

The thing about open-ended contracts is they often include a “penalty” fee, an amount you are expected to pay the keyholder if you decide to terminate the keyholding service. Will the keyholder turn you over to a collection agency or sue if you don’t pay the cancellation fee?  No, chastity keyholding agreements aren’t enforceable in the courts. But, if you stiff a professional keyholder, expect her to tell other professionals about you. They talk with each other. You will find it difficult, if not impossible, to get another professional to take you on. If you object to paying cancellation fees, don’t agree to them at the start.

How Pros Enforce Chastity

Except for keyholders who use Skype or webcams, the most common “proof of locked” procedure is the chastity device wearer sends a photo to the keyholder showing the device locked in place. Some keyholders will require that a newspaper or something else showing the current date be included in the image. Also, some keyholders will sell you a lock and mail it to you, and they will keep the keys.

Because other chastity device locking options are rapidly replacing the padlock, like integrated “magic” locks and security screws, professional keyholders have other “proof of locked” procedure options. As an example, with my first pro keyholder, I purchased a small, inexpensive safe designed for connection to WiFi. Once I transferred the control over the safe to my keyholder, only she could open it via a remote control app on her smartphone. I had to send her a video of me locking my keys in the safe. Then only she could open the safe to give me access to them. There are lots of other procedures in use that deny the device wearer access to the keys.

Numbered plastic locks are also popular options. You lock your device with one and then take and send a photo clearly showing the number on the lock. The lock can only be removed by cutting it off. That makes it obvious the wearer has removed the device if he does so without the permission of the keyholder.

There are still a few keyholders who will allow you to physically mail your keys to them. But, this is becoming rare. For obvious reasons, keyholders are not going to give clients their home address. To accept physical keys, they must maintain a commercial mailbox, which is another expense.

Regardless of the procedure, your keyholder will explain what her requirements are.

Wrap Up

Long-distance keyholding is not foolproof. You can probably find a way to cheat if you wish to do so. But if you lie about being locked in chastity, when you aren’t, you only rob yourself of a real experience. Also, if a keyholder catches you cheating, she will kick you to the curb. And, yes, you’re name will get out there in the professional keyholder community, and you won’t be welcomed by another professional.

Some keyholders have specific qualifications for clients. Some won’t accept clients under a particular age, like twenty-one. I know of one who only takes clients who are age thirty and over. Some won’t accept clients who are married or in a committed relationship.

Lastly, some keyholders require regular communication, especially with clients who are new to wearing chastity devices. They should explain those requirements to you in detail before you sign an agreement.

Hopefully, after reading this post, you now feel confident that you can contact a professional keyholder and negotiate a keyholding agreement that suits your needs. Sure, I suppose if we had the choice, none of us would wish to pay for keyholding. But, professional keyholders provide a valuable service. Without them, a lot of guys would have only the option to self-lock. I’ve had great experiences with those I’ve used.

 

Continue Reading
0
chastity keyholders

Chastity Keyholding For Dummies

By on Sunday, June 7, 2020

This post, Chastity Keyholding For Dummies, is for the ladies, ladies whose male partners have come to them with a strange request: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?” Please understand I’d never apply the term “dummy” to any woman. Having been raised with good manners, I have always treated women with respect, even deference. The title of the post is meant only to illustrate my intention to take women who know little or nothing at all about male chastity and help them learn what a keyholder is and why they might want to be one.

If you are a woman reading this post, chances are your husband, boyfriend, lover, or whatever has asked you to lock him in a chastity device and to become his keyholder. You probably arrived here while doing your own research to learn what chastity is exactly and why the man in your life seems so excited by the idea of wearing a chastity device.

Or, perhaps, your partner directed you to this post and asked you to read it. Regardless, you likely came here with many questions. If you are utterly new to male chastity, this might be your first question. “What is a chastity keyholder?” Running a close second may be the question, “Why in the world would I want to be a keyholder?” I will answer those questions and many more in this post.

What Is A Keyholder

Simply put, a keyholder is a term for someone who holds the key to the chastity device of another. A keyholder can be anyone, as long as that person consents to the role. Some may assume a keyholder is always a female. That’s not true. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can fill the position. But most commonly, a keyholder is the caged male’s wife, girlfriend, or sexual partner.

The keyholder has a position of great power. Because a keyholder controls access to a chastity device, they also, by extension, control the genitals of their partner. That means they decide when or if their partner can achieve sexual gratification. At its most basic, keyholding is about control, taking control of a man sexually. I’ll explain why this is important later.

The Basics of Male Chastity

Most women describe their initial reactions when their partner tells them he wishes them to lock him in a chastity device with words like “shock” and “confusion.” Let’s try to clear that away.

The motivation behind why a guy wants to wear a chastity device and to have his partner control him sexually is uncomplicated. At first blush, when your partner first approached you about chastity, you may have thought it was only the latest kinky sex thing he had found on the Internet and wanted to try to spice up things in the bedroom. It may have sounded entirely unnatural to you, something you weren’t interested in at all. It didn’t seem sexy. In reality, it seemed kind of stupid, very stupid, boring, and pointless.

But actually, being sexually controlled by a woman is a pervasive male fantasy shared by many men. That means chastity probably isn’t just the latest in a long line of kinky sex things your partner stumbled across on the Internet. If your man has asked you to put him in chastity, he has probably already been fantasizing about it for months, if not years.

The attraction for male chastity for most men is primarily the desire for two things—orgasm control and orgasm denial.

Orgasm Control & Denial

Orgasm control is the sexual practice where someone remains in a state of heightened arousal for an extended period without achieving climax. The expectation for experiencing this lengthened final stage of arousal is that it will amplify the sensations of an eventual orgasm.

Orgasm denial is the sexual practice of experiencing or allowing someone else to experience a high level of sexual pleasure for an extended period without experiencing orgasm. Most of us would agree that orgasms are seriously pleasurable experiences. Why would anyone wish to be denied orgasms deliberately? Because having a partner holding you back or forbidding you to come intentionally can lead to amplified erotic fantasies and heighten the anticipation of climax.

The attraction of orgasm control and denial for men who wish to be put in chastity is not that they want only to have their orgasms limited or denied, they also want a partner to subject them to intense sexual teasing. Sexual teasing combined with orgasm delay or denial for a male increases his testosterone levels and the sensitivity in his genitals. Increasing testosterone and sensitivity stimulates his sex drive and leads to stronger orgasms when he does orgasm.

It Sounds So Selfish

Interest in practicing chastity among men has exploded in recent years. The increased interest likely is the result of male chastity devices becoming more readily available and at significantly lower prices. While male chastity might still not yet be mainstream, it is definitely moving in that direction. What was once something practiced only by submissive men involved in BDSM, is now increasingly being practiced by average, everyday men who may not have a kinky bone in their bodies.

At this point, you may be thinking; male chastity sounds selfishly motivated, just like every other aspect of the weird world of male sexuality. It’s yet another thing your partner wants you to do for him so that he gets sexual gratification. No thanks! Sure, it is selfishly motivated. I won’t insult your intelligence by denying it. If you agree to put your partner in chastity and to become his keyholder, he will get what he wants. But, there is so much more because male chastity produces some rather startling changes in men that will directly benefit the keyholder. Putting your partner in chastity can be an opportunity for you to get more enjoyment from your sex life, not just something he has asked you to do to keep him happy.

Those Were The Days

Remember when you first met your husband or partner, and he worked so hard trying to win your affections and to persuade you to have a relationship with him? He was so affectionate. All he wanted was to spend time with you. He hung on your every word. There was nothing he was unwilling to do to make you happy. Then, once you married or got into a relationship with him, everything changed. Like singer Paula Cole says it in her song, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone,” “I am wearing my new dress tonite, but you don’t even notice me. Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending? Where have all the cowboys gone?”

Not to discount the sincere love and affection I’m confident your partner felt for you at the time, his primary motivation back then during the courting phase was that he found you sexually attractive and wanted you as a sexual partner. That’s a sad yet accurate commentary on the male sex drive. It’s also unfortunate that over time, once a relationship has been established, passions cool, and the romance fades. What would you say if I told you, male chastity could reverse that? It can turn back the clock on your relationship with your partner to where it feels you’re in that romantic courtship phase all over again. How is that possible, you ask? Please read on.

A male whose sexuality is locked up in a chastity device is denied orgasm, sexual pleasure of any kind, and even the sensation of a normal erection. Chastity works in many ways. It changes a man’s moods, demeanor, and libido. Most importantly, it transforms his desire to please his partner when she holds the key to his chastity device.

It isn’t that it becomes his goal to do more around the house like cooking, cleaning, or the laundry, but you will find that he will do one or more of these things as he continues the build-up of his sexual energy. Unable to channel this pent up sexual energy through his genitals, by necessity, he diverts that energy towards pleasing you.

As his keyholder and the sole source of his sexual pleasure, he will once again become wholly focused on you. He will adore you and love you in the way he did when you first met, and he will be eager to please you in every way. Why does this happen?

The increase in sexual tension produced by chastity increases a man’s testosterone levels giving him a significant energy boost. Research studies on the effect of increased testosterone levels on male sexuality have identified testosterone as the major “courtship inducer.” We might define “courtship” as the amount of effort a male is willing to put into gaining the favor of a female. The courtship mode is induced when a male’s testosterone levels are increased by fifty-percent or more through an extended non-ejaculatory period of at least seven days. Since the purpose of a male chastity device is to enforce non-ejaculatory periods, they yield the spontaneous initiation of courtship.

The takeaway is, by putting your man in chastity, he will become more attentive to your needs, more affectionate, and more willing to do whatever you ask when he believes it will make you happy. Have you ever felt your partner was most focused on having his sexual needs satisfied during sex and that your satisfaction was a distant second consideration, if a consideration at all? Male chastity can completely reverse that. Yes, your partner will still crave sexual pleasure, denial of his orgasm will sometimes feel frustrating, but even so, his primary goal will be the satisfaction of your sexual needs. Satisfying you by giving you sexual pleasure will become more important to him than his desires.

What Do I Have To Do As His Keyholder?

Perhaps after reading the previous section, you are feeling a little more curious about this whole chastity thing. The natural next question then is this. What do I have to do if I agree to be his keyholder?

You take possession of the keys, and you decide when or if your partner has orgasms. Being a keyholder does not obligate you to do any more than that.

It might be helpful to think as male chastity as a game, a game in which you, as the keyholder, make all the rules. That doesn’t mean you should lock your partner in a chastity device and throw away the key. You may want to put a little more time, effort, and imagination into it if you’re going to achieve a sexual relationship with your partner far beyond anything you’ve ever experienced or maybe even imagined possible.

Tease & Denial

Intertwined within those chastity fantasies your partner has almost surely entertained, is the part he was thinking about most when he asked you to be his keyholder. He desires you to tease him sexually in every way you can think of while denying him orgasm. And, teasing and denial is a necessity for chastity to work.

If you lock your partner in a chastity device and then ignore him, his arousal will grow for a time, but then he will reach a point where his arousal plateaus and then inevitably declines. Then chastity will no longer be something he enjoys. It also won’t be the courtship inducer that produces the behavioral changes I mentioned earlier. That’s just not how the male arousal cycle works. Orgasm denial, coupled with sexual teasing is what elevates testosterone levels in men.

Teasing and denial needn’t be time-consuming. It all depends on what type of teasing, and how much of it you want to do. It’s entirely up to you. Also, by teasing, I don’t mean it is always you doing sexually pleasurable things to your partner. It also means requiring him to do sexually pleasing stuff to you while he is locked up and denied pleasure.

In a way, despite the sexual frustration, your partner wants you to be “mean” to him. By this, I mean he wants you to keep his penis locked up. He wants you to make him wait, beg, and plead for orgasms. He wants you to tease him, to deny him orgasms, and to tease him some more until his arousal is so heightened he doesn’t think he can stand it a minute longer.

Does Chastity Mean We Won’t Have Sex Anymore

For women who enjoy penetrative sex with their partners, it may seem to lock your partner’s penis in a chastity device means you will never have sex anymore. That’s not the case at all. You may not only find yourself having better sex, but having sex much more often.

You can always make him give you oral sex, or use a vibrator or dildo on you until you’ve had all the orgasms you can handle. And he will love every minute of it, especially when you don’t allow him to ejaculate. Remember when I said the keyholder makes all the rules? That applies to sex as well as everything else about chastity.

You can choose to unlock your partner for sex at any time you wish. But you may not want to allow him to come every time or even most of the time. You can have what you want, but mostly you should make him stop before he climaxes. That way, you won’t have to re-start the whole seven-days of arousing building all over to allow his testosterone levels to climb again.

One thing won’t change about your partner. Anytime you allow him to orgasm, he will revert to the guy he was before when he didn’t pay enough attention to you or your needs. It will require at least seven days under lock and key after an orgasm before you will get back the attentive, affectionate, anxious to please guy you will grow to love.

Hopefully, I have explained the basics of what a chastity keyholder is, what it means to be a keyholder, and why you might want to become one for your partner. Of course, this post covers only the basics. There is always more to learn about keyholding. In fact, entire books are devoted to it. But it is my sincere hope you learned enough from this post that you now feel confident you can make an informed decision when your male partner asks you: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?”

 

Continue Reading
0