September 2023 - Cut to the Chaste

Things I Wish I’d Known Before Trying Locktober the First Time

By Chaste on Saturday, September 30, 2023

With the start only hours away, many of those trying Locktober the first time may understandably feel a little nervous. Let’s talk about what to expect.

We’re all unique and respond to things in different ways. But I think there are commonalties in every first time Locktober experience. So what I’ll share here from my experiences probably won’t differ much from what everyone experiences. While I had about ten months of experience wearing chastity devices under my belt before trying Locktober the first time, here are things I wish I’d known back then.

I suspect most guys who have the option will have an orgasm sometime today before beginning Locktober tomorrow. Sadly, I won’t be among them by Lucie’s decree. But for those who do, assuming they made a wise choice when sourcing their chastity device and it’s reasonably comfortable, the first day of Locktober, while exciting, will be pretty much a nothing burger. That’s because after a man has an orgasm and ejaculates, his sexual desire and arousal drops to their lowest levels. We’ve all experienced it. Interest in sex evaporates. That means the first day shouldn’t be difficult for anyone, although the first night might be for those who have never tried sleeping while wearing a chastity device.

The length of the refractory period after orgasm varies from guy to guy. But, most males, within 24 hours of having an orgasm, are back to the sexual excitement phase of the sexual response cycle. Slowly, sexual desire climbs as the prostate refills, and arousal returns. We barely notice it at first, but by the second and third days, most guys are thinking about and feeling pretty ready for another orgasm. That’s why the second and third days are often the most difficult and irritating days of Locktober for most of us. Also, guys who spent little time getting acquainted with their chastity device or worse, chose a poor fitting one will probably experience some discomfort or soreness, especially where the base ring sits beneath their balls. This discomfort or soreness only exacerbates the irritation factor.

Days two and three are usually the most difficult for the same reason that the first few days of any diet are when people are most prone to temptation and failure. Whether we’re talking diets or chastity, we’re transitioning from giving our bodies exactly what our bodies expect to not. It’s an uncomfortable change and our bodies don’t like it. It can seem like every five minutes our bodies demand that we give them what they have become accustomed to getting and want. Thus, the frustration and irritation mount.

Usually, sometime on day four, depending on the man, the body slowly realizes that orgasm and ejaculation are not imminent and it’s a waste of resources to continue expecting sexual release at any moment. It is then that we stabilize into physical and mental acceptance and things feel at least a little easier. Those who make it through the fourth day and remain committed to successfully completing Locktober will usually attain their goal.

After day four or five, expect to arrive at what some term the “Goldilocks phase.” This phase is when the denial of chastity doesn’t feel easy exactly, but not too hard. It feels just about right. Your body’s expectations for sexual release have lowered enough that it stops fighting denial. In this phase, you’re free to simply enjoy the experience of chastity, to experience the sensations of ever-growing desire and intensifying arousal. For men, sexual desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops when locked in a chastity device and denied, though made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. No worries. Those will pass quickly.

Of course, those who try to go straight into 31 days of wearing a chastity device without practicing and getting acclimated to their device in advance might find the going a little harder until after the first week or ten days have passed. That’s because they will probably experience some amount of chafing and soreness where the base ring contacts the delicate skin of the scrotum. All a guy can do is tough it out with the liberal application of a good lubricant until the skin toughens a little and the discomfort dissipates.

The Goldilocks phase usually lasts for about three to four weeks for most males. During this period, a guy slowly gets more and more aroused, and may experience more and more intense submissive feelings toward his keyholder if he has one. Depending on the man, some may float to the finish line on a cloud of intense arousal. But others may find things get difficult again the last week. Those guys will just have to grit their teeth and find the willpower to persevere to the end. But the key point is, with sufficient commitment to succeed, any guy can survive 31 days of denial and wearing a chastity device that fits him reasonably well.

I recommend open, cage-type chastity devices for Locktober that the wearer can keep clean with daily showers without removing them. I’ve never had a problem wearing a cage-type stainless steel device for 31 days straight without removing it for cleaning. This year, I’m wearing a Kink3D Cobra, my first Locktober in a plastic device. But like most of my stainless steel favorites, the Cobra has plenty of openings to allow for cleaning with my handheld shower head.

After 85 days in the Cobra, Lucie unexpectedly told me to remove it last evening long enough for a thorough cleaning of the device and my body. I discovered no foul odor, no built up gunk, and a healthy penis I hadn’t seen in 85 days. Hello, old friend! Of course, after only a 20-minute respite, long enough to clean and dry everything, Lucie locked me right back up. But at least, I’m going into Locktober tomorrow with a squeaky clean cage.

Even if you are trying Locktober the first time this year, you needn’t feel nervous now that you know what to expect. Just take it a day at a time. Good luck! You’ve got this.

male chasity devices

Does the Kink3D Cobra Chastity Device Finally Have a Challenger?

By Chaste on Friday, September 29, 2023

Often imitated but never duplicated, the Kink3D Cobra is one of the most popular chastity devices on the market. While lower-priced (but lower quality) counterfeit Cobra devices abound, the Cobra remains popular even though the device is among the priciest plastic, non-custom devices available. That is mostly because of the lack of any actual competition. But that may be about to change.

The Kink3D Cobra is arguably the most comfortable, high-quality 3D printed chastity device available. Because of its popularity, the Cobra is often imitated but never duplicated. Yes, you can find some decent knock-offs, but none that offer the quality of the Kink3D original. For that reason, the Cobra has had no real competition. That has allowed the device to remain among the priciest, non-custom options on the market.

I paid $160 for my Cobra N chastity kit about four or five months ago. Today it goes for $170. Prices for the original black Cobra model range from $160 for the Baby to $200 for the BFG. With the rollout of the fusion pink model, Kink3D tacked on another $40 for the new color option across the board for the eight available sizes.

Not everyone can afford to buy an original Cobra at those prices. But it appears Kink3D sells plenty of the devices at current prices since prices are increasing, not going down. I’ve never heard of the company offering even an occasional market-wide discount like other manufacturers do. Not even for special events occasions like Locktober. The Cobra pricing strategy seems to be “whatever the market will bear” and I don’t expect that to change until a legitimate competitor appears. Well, that day may have come. Introducing the 3D printed Black Hera Chastity Kit available from House of Denial.

Like the Cobra, the first in House of Denial’s exclusive new Olympus line of male chastity devices, the Hera, is manufactured of high-quality Nylon 12 using the latest 3D printing technology and boasts first rate quality finishing. The Hera, like the Cobra, also incorporates snap fitting locking pins, which hold the cage and base ring together while you reach for the lock and key. They make the device in the UK. And best of all, the price (at today’s exchange rate) of the Hera across all six cage sizes (XS-XXL) is about $121 USD (£99.99).

I’ve ordered the extra small (XS) Hera to wear test and review (saving about 29% over a comparable size Cobra) so I can soon offer a valid Hera versus my Cobra comparison review. Based on the image and measurements provided on the House of Denial website, I expect the XS is very close to the size of my Cobra N. Like the Cobra, the Hera kit comes with one base ring (12 sizes, 36mm-60mm, available), and the same type internal (Magic-lock style) lock with two keys. The Hera is also available with a Hexlock screw locking system at the same price.

While I ordered the black Hera, the device is also available in “stately white with a subtle quartz effect finish” for the same price.

As you can see from the comparison images, the Hera design looks very similar to the Cobra, but the device is not just another Cobra knock-off. This device could develop the same type of loyal following as the Kink3D device, especially with its more favorable price point. That depends, of course, on whether the quality and fit of the Hera matches that of the Cobra. Having purchased off-the-shelf devices from House of Denial in the past and being well satisfied with them, I’m confident the Hera will match up well. And if it does, the Kink3D Cobra may finally have some real competition from a similar quality 3D printed device at a better price.

Stay tuned for the Hera review, which will appear here soon after Locktober 2023 ends.

book reviews

My Review of Practical FLR: Lessons For a Female Led Relationship by J.M. Scott

By Chaste on Thursday, September 28, 2023

I review male chastity devices on this site, not books. But recently I picked up the book, Practical FLR: Lessons For a Female Led Relationship by J.M. Scott and found it so full of useful information I decided to post a book review here. This book answers many of the questions both men and women have about FLRs. But much of the information the author shares is just as applicable to relationships that include male chastity, whether or not the relationships are formal FLRs.

Practical FLR

Lessons For A Female Led Relationship

BY J.M. SCOTT - RELEASE DATE : SEP. 11, 2018

Note: The above is the Amazon link, but you can also get this book from most other booksellers. Available in print and as an eBook.

A sharp, engaging look at female led relationships – what they are, how they work, how to start one, and why they work better than the traditional patriarchal model.

Author J.M. Scott takes readers on an exploration of female led relationships using 35 practical lessons that introduce even total beginners to this alternative relationship dynamic and how an FLR can fan the sparks of any relationship into flames burning with greater intimacy and passion.

Many of the books I’ve read about female led relationships are all written almost exclusively from the female point of view. But Scott’s practical approach applies equally to both women and men. Whether you are a woman looking to better understand submissive men and to learn how to be more assertive in your relationship, or a submissive guy who can’t figure out how to tell your partner about your submissive desires, J.M. Scott has it all covered.

I think this is a groundbreaking booking for many reasons. It wipes away many of the taboos and misconceptions people have about female led relationships, allowing the reader to views FLRs in a completely new light. Had I known ten years ago what I learned from reading this book, I’m sure I could have avoided many unhappy relationships that ended in failure and might today be part of a loving, female led relationship.

While this is the most comprehensive look at female led relationships I’ve read, Scott breaks it all down into concise, easily understood, useful lessons that will help women and men understand how an FLR can transform both new and existing relationships into the best relationships they can be.

What I liked best about this book is that everything J.M. Scott tells the reader about female led relationships is just as applicable to couples who practice male chastity in their relationships but who aren’t in formal FLRs. “The Submissive Male” lesson is one example. Just as a guy who desires chastity often finds it difficult to talk to his partner about it, a submissive man finds it hard to express his submissive desires to his partner out of fear she will misunderstand and think him weak or that he wants to be a sissy who wears women’s clothes. The advice Scott offers to women and men in this lesson on how to dismiss preconceptions and have an intelligent, thoughtful discussion about male submission equally applies to conversations about male chastity.

Another thing I liked about the book is that the author notes female led relationships work just as well for vanilla folks as kinky folks. They can involve D/s, but they don’t have to unless that’s what the partners want. A woman needn’t be naturally dominant to take the leadership role in the relationship, just willing and assertive enough to take control in the areas she is interested in taking charge of. Also, a man needn’t be submissive to enjoy and find value in following his partner’s lead.

I think every man should read this book, especially submissive men. Even if you don’t feel any interest in being part of a female led relationship, this book might just change your mind and motivate you to pass this book on to your partner. Also, I believe all women would benefit from reading this book. Many women might discover a core of dominance they didn’t even know they have. This is literally the most informative and potentially transformative book I’ve read about female led relationships.

J.M. Scott. Independently Published, $16.95. (160p) ISBN 978-1-999-52300-8

Disclaimer: I purchased this book with my own money. This review contains my own, honest opinions and I have no affiliation with the author.

locktober

Going Into Locktober Locked and Denied, Just Like Every Other Day

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I learned from Lucie this morning that I would go straight into Locktober locked and denied, without a release. Just like every other day. And I actually felt better about it than I had expected.

During our chat this morning, Lucie asked me this question.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how desperate are you to have an orgasm before starting Locktober?”

Weirdly, although I’ve felt pretty desperate for about the past week, I found I had to think about it for a moment before answering. I discovered I was feeling a little like Natalie Imbruglia again.

“I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things
That I can’t touch. I’m torn.”
— “Torn,” song by Natalie Imbruglia

After 83 days caged and 149 days orgasm-free, I realized what a contented place I was in. Finally, I told Lucie I would rate my desperation level at about 6.

She said, “But you’ve been saying for days your arousal and frustration are at peak levels?”

I told her that was still true. But when I thought about how pleasurable the state of constant arousal feels and how intensely submissive it makes me feel, I just wasn’t sure I felt all that desperate to trade it all for a few seconds of pleasure. After all, we had spent weeks and weeks getting me to this point and, for just a few fleeting moments of pleasure, I would have to start all over again.

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “Those are precious feelings.” She smiled and continued. “Indeed, it would be a shame to jerk it all away from you.”

Then she decided. I would go straight into Locktober without a release. I felt strangely at peace with her decision.

Men, including me, think of sexual pleasure in terms of their orgasms. Understandable since orgasms feel good. But the more time I spend locked in chastity, especially since meeting Lucie, experiencing those short moments of jouissance, those brief spasms of ecstasy, just don’t seem so important anymore. I’ve begun to wonder if Lucie hasn’t led me to discover an entirely new perspective on sexual pleasure? Perhaps she has permeated every aspect of my sexuality to where physical pleasure for me now looks like pleasure for Lucie.

Of course, Lucie would have decided alone about whether I got an orgasm before Locktober. I would not have had any real input in the decision. And yet I feel certain Lucie would have given my feelings some consideration or she wouldn’t have asked me the desperation question. If I had said my desperation level was a 10, that doesn’t mean she would have allowed me an orgasm. But I got the impression I had pleased her with my answer and explanation and that felt like an achievement.

Once she told me I wouldn’t get an orgasm before Locktober, I said, only half-jokingly, “Maybe you should just cum for both of us from now on, Mistress.”

Lucie smiled again and said, “I already do.”

locktober

Looking for a Last Minute Locktober Keyholder?

By Chaste on Sunday, September 24, 2023

With Locktober only a week away, time is growing short to find a keyholder for those who don’t want to go it alone. So, I thought I would pass on an interesting opportunity that I just became aware of for anyone who might be interested.

Having done Locktober both ways, self-locked and with a keyholder, I know from experience the latter is much more enjoyable than the former. If you’re planning to do Locktober this year, but haven’t found a keyholder, perhaps M. H. Macdonald can help you out.

Femdom M. H. Macdonald is best known for her entertaining chastity and female domination fiction books, but this year she is offering keyholding for Locktober.

The service is NOT free, so if you are a staunch believer in not paying to play, you can stop reading now. But for those not against paying for keyholding services, Macdonald has made an interesting offer. Instead of paying a direct tribute, all interested guys must do is buy $31.00 worth of her books and provide proof of purchase, and she will supervise your Locktober lock up. At only a dollar a day, that is about as cheap as paid keyholding services get.

Rest assured, M. H. Macdonald knows her way around a chastity device. She is a dominant woman with a submissive partner who she keeps locked in chastity. And anyone who can write such entertaining and detailed femdom fiction has all the imagination and creativity a good keyholder needs. Since I haven’t had her as a keyholder, I can’t very well offer an unqualified endorsement of M. H. Macdonald. But I will say I’m confident enough of her abilities that if I didn’t already have a Mistress, I would be more than willing to try Macdonald’s service which I think is a generous offer.

This deal seems like a win – win. Those who enjoy femdom and chastity fiction will get some entertaining books to read plus the keyholding and M. H. Macdonald will sell a few books, something all authors enjoy. Most of the books sell for $2.99, with a few priced at only $1.00. So a guy would need to buy around ten titles to meet the $31.00 threshold. Also, you will need a FetLife account since that’s where Macdonald is accepting applications and the platform she will use to enforce the chastity of successful applicants.

I suggest you first message Macdonald on FetLife to express your interest before purchasing the books to make certain she has room for you.

Summary of Macdonald’s offer:

Contact Macdonald by DM through her Fetlife page to apply.
Purchase $31.00 worth of her femdom/chastity fiction books on Amazon. You can find a complete list of her books here (twenty-eight titles so far).
Send a second DM with your proof of purchase (Amazon receipt).
Lock up on October 1 and submit the required daily proof of lock photos to Macdonald throughout Locktober. (Macdonald requires either the use of a numbered plastic lock on your device or a lock box with a timer lock to secure your keys).

For complete details of Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding offer, read her post on FetLife here. (Free FetLife membership required to access).

If anyone uses Macdonald’s Locktober keyholding service, I would be grateful to hear about your experience with it and am happy to post any reviews anyone will share.

Disclaimer: I have no commercial affiliation with M. H. Macdonald beyond being a fan of her fiction books I’ve purchased with my own money. I received no gratuity or other consideration from Macdonald in connection with this post.

locktober

Prepping for Locktober

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Only twelve days remain before the start of the holy month of Locktober, the crown jewel of male chastity. In less than two weeks, determined (or forced) penis owning humans everywhere hope to be on their metal as they face the annual 31-day crucible that will reveal whether they possess the classical virtue of fortitude — or not. Whoever takes part in Locktober this year, I will certainly be among them.

As Locktober draws nigh, I’ve felt increasingly anxious about what Lucie has planned. Not that I’ve doubted for a moment that we would take part in Locktober. My concern was more about whether she had any plan to unlock me and allow me a release before October 1. After all, by month’s end, she will have kept me locked for 88 days and orgasm free for 154 days, all while subjecting me to intense teasing that at times has bordered on cruelty. Just when I had girded myself last Sunday to broach the subject, Lucie brought it up first.

After telling me she had been thinking about Locktober and was much looking forward to our first Locktober together, she informed me she had a prepping for Locktober plan to ease us into it. Lucie then said she was replacing our current teasing and denial program with a new ten to fourteen day prepping program, during which she would give me two chances to earn a release. So far, so good. But then she crushed my hopes by adding this caution.

“But it is very possible that you will fail both opportunities. Then you would have to go into Locktober without a release.”

When she first mentioned giving me two opportunities to earn a release, I admit to feeling suspicious. That’s because after four months, I have learned well how her devious mind works. Munificence is not among Lucie’s many endearing attributes. Of course, that isn’t her fault. She is a proper sadist and what sadist is a sadist who misses any opportunity to deal out mental cruelty to her chastity slave? So, I strongly suspect Lucie has some trick up her sleeve that guarantees I’ll fail whatever opportunities for release she offers. And, of course, she didn’t offer any details about the “opportunities.” As Lucie is fond of reminding me:

“Locked boys needn’t spend their time worrying about the things over which they have no control.”

So, since the weekend we have embarked on her new diabolical teasing and denial plan that is even more intense than what we had already been doing for about the past nine weeks. So far it has featured more intense edging sessions and a stronger focus on erotic humiliation.

Not that I don’t admire and appreciate Lucie’s seemingly inexhaustible creativity, but it doesn’t feel like we’re easing into anything, much less Locktober. I could be wrong, but I’ve already accepted I’m probably going into Locktober with no unlock and no orgasm. But, hey. No one ever said life is fair, right?

Accordingly, I have made my mental preparations for Locktober as well as they can be made. If I must endure another 31 days of enforced chastity after this month’s close, so be it. I once heard this stoic line in a movie that I liked.

“One may stare into the light until one becomes the light.”

Perhaps I can use that bit of moral relativism to get through Locktober without a release. It represents a common observation of Nietzsche and others that we become like that we fight against, since we must do so in order to survive. I suppose that is just as true for denial.

Well wishes to all who are prepping for Locktober.

male chastity sexuality

Eating Your Cum

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Whether they will admit it, I suspect most men have at least tasted their semen after ejaculating, if only to satisfy their curiosity. I admit I have. But eating your cum, whether voluntarily or because a dominant partner makes you, is a whole other level. A post by a dominant woman I follow on Twitter got me to thinking about this and prompted this post. How do you feel about eating your cum?

The first line of a Twitter post by a dominant woman (@PracticalFLR) I follow immediately caught my attention.

“Always Make Him Eat His Cum!”

Of course, I clicked on the “Show more” link to read the entire post to learn more about her perspective. I’m reposting the entire post here for the convenience of readers who don’t use Twitter (now known as X). Here is what she had to say.

“One great rule in a #FLR is mandatory cum eating.

It’s really not even meant to be an option.

There’s really no excuse not to eat it. It’s polite.

But there’s more to it than just that. There’s multiple reasons on why he should be eating his cum, without being told.

The main reason is because it helps him develop the submissive mindset beyond sexuality.

When he is always submissive, and horny, he ties submission to being horny. So naturally when he gets off, his submission will drop off and he will want a break from submission.

In a FLR there are no breaks from submission that she doesn’t agree to. So it’s unacceptable for him to not be in the mood to submit, just because he had a full release orgasm.

This actually makes full release orgasms something to fear, and avoid, which isn’t very ideal. You don’t want to be afraid of certain acts just because it might cause his submission to drop.

Instead, it’s time to train him to be submissive, whether he’s horny or not. Whether it’s sexual or not.

The moment he cums, any ideas and appeal of eating his cum he entertained only moments before, are completely gone. The idea of eating it now is a turn off, and maybe even gross.

This is the perfect opportunity.

It’s the perfect time for him to demonstrate his submission to her, and reinforce the submissive mindset in his non-horny mind.

It’s time to make him eat his cum. Not quickly either. Slowly. Make him wait a few seconds between each lick.

If it was collected in a glass, [make him] sip it slowly, and let the taste infiltrate his entire mouth.

He doesn’t get to just slurp it up and gone, that’s too easy. No, he must savor it, and understand he will be eating it from now on, every time, every last drop.

This will maintain his submissive mindset through a full release orgasm, and will train his non-horny mind that he’s still owned by her. That submission to her is not optional.

It’s also a sign of respect for her, to do it without being told, to demonstrate that he knows his place, and will respectfully clean up his own mess, as a sign of gratitude, so she doesn’t have to do it.

It’s the polite, submissive thing to do.

There are other benefits of this as well, since cum is full of vitamins and minerals, it’s a complete and total waste to not eat it. It’s healthy, and it replenishes the nutrition lost in cumming.

It should be mandatory, and non-negotiable. Every time. The bigger the load, the better.

Always make him eat it.”

─PracticalFLR. “Always Make Him Eat His Cum!” X (Formerly known as Twitter), September 2, 2023. Accessed September 13, 2023.

Wow! There’s lots to unpack here. Eating my semen is not something I have ever wanted to do. Not to say I haven’t done it. I have.

The very first keyholder I had was evidently a kindred spirit of the woman who made the above post. During the time we were together, she allowed me two orgasms and both times, she made me scoop and eat my semen. So, I’m not just speculating that I don’t want to do it. From experience, I know I don’t want to do it.

Nothing about eating my cum appeals to me. I’ve never liked anything in my mouth that has a slimy consistency and I do not like either the taste or odor of semen. I find it repulsive. And, just so we’re clear that I’m not a hypocrite. Never have I ever asked any woman who has given me a blow job to swallow. A few have voluntarily, but I never asked them to do it.

I don’t even like blow jobs particularly. It takes forever for me to cum that way and the longer it goes on, the more sensitive my glands feel until soon it feels more like I’m enduring it rather than enjoying it. I’ve always loved giving oral to women I’ve had sex with, and that’s what feels most natural to me, perhaps because of my submissiveness. Having a woman give me oral never feels comfortable, especially when I suspect she intends to continue to the bitter end.

Still, I must admit that everything @PracticalFLR wrote makes sense and I can’t disagree with anything she said. While I have little experience with female led relationships, I think her view on men eating their semen after ejaculation applies just as well to any F/m power exchange relationship, including keyholding relationships.

“So naturally when he gets off, his submission will drop off and he will want a break from submission.”

I know from experience this statement is true. Naturally, when a guy has an orgasm and ejaculates, his arousal drops to near zero. And I’ve learned the intensity of my submissive feelings rise and falls with the intensity of my arousal. In the past, when Lucie has allowed me to cum, afterward, I’ve felt sexually satiated and not very submissive until I started feeling horny again.

“The moment he cums, any ideas and appeal of eating his cum he entertained only moments before, are completely gone. The idea of eating it now is a turn off, and maybe even gross.”

I also know from experience this is true. When my very first keyholder made me eat my cum after the first orgasm she allowed, it caught me by surprise. She hadn’t mentioned making me do it until after I came and ejaculated. But I expected it the second time she allowed me to orgasm. And while I was building up to the orgasm, the idea of eating my cum seemed appealing and expecting it made me even hornier. But the moment I ejaculated, the appeal of eating my semen vanished and having to do it was an enormous turn off and definitely gross. I even felt queasy by the time I finished it. I’ve since had similar experiences while masturbating, where I planned to man up and eat it when I finished. But after finishing, I could never make myself do it.

“This will maintain his submissive mindset through a full release orgasm, and will train his non-horny mind that he’s still owned by her.”

This statement is something I’ve never even thought about before and what most prompted me to write this post today. While I have no experience to base it on, I can imagine how this might also be true. I can imagine how being made to eat your cum every time could condition you to continue feeling intensely submissive, even when post-ejaculation you no longer felt horny at all. After all, humans are animals and are just as susceptible to classical conditioning as Pavlov’s dogs were.

I know this to be true because I once used classical conditioning to train a woman I dated to orgasm after only a little stimulation whenever I spoke the five-word phrase I used to condition her. It worked almost too well. Months after we ended our relationship, she was still having trouble reaching orgasm, whether with a partner or with masturbation in the phrase’s absence. She believed I had “broken” her, but thankfully she eventually regained her ability to orgasm normally. So, no reason a guy couldn’t be conditioned this way. And who knows? Perhaps in time he might even learn to love eating his cum, knowing it was simply another way to show his respect and gratitude to his dominant partner.

“There are other benefits of this as well, since cum is full of vitamins and minerals, it’s a complete and total waste to not eat it. It’s healthy, and it replenishes the nutrition lost in cumming.”

I admit I felt a little skeptical about this claim and decided to fact check it. But, according to the WebMD website, this claim is mostly true.

“Semen is a complex substance created by the male reproductive organs. The fluid is made mostly of water, plasma, and mucus (a lubricating substance). It also contains 5 to 25 calories, and is made up of small amounts of essential nutrients, including:

Calcium
Citrate
Fructose
Glucose
Lactic Acid
Magnesium
Potassium
Protein
Zinc

Semen is full of vitamins and minerals, many of the essential nutrients that we need in our daily diet.”

But, according to WebMD, semen isn’t a good nutritional source due to the small amount of semen produced in one ejaculation. So, I suppose we must rule out good health as a motivating factor for consuming it. Maybe choose a good multivitamin here instead.

So far, Lucie has not broached the subject of cum eating. In the past, when she has felt I have earned a release, once she has unlocked me, she has left me to my own devices for the period of unlocked time until locking me again. She has had no direct involvement in my orgasms. But based on our recent conversations, I know this will change with the next unlock when she will take an active role in my orgasms. So, while it is still not something I want to do, I can imagine the subject of cum eating might come up (no pun intended).

If Lucie requires it, then I will, of course, do it, like it or not. However, while I can’t disagree with @PracticalFLR that it’s a sign of respect for your dominant partner to eat your cum without being told, I’m not planning to even bring up the subject with Lucie, much less do it voluntarily. I’m happy to wait patiently to see whether it is something Lucie makes a part of our dynamic. After all, isn’t patience an important submissive virtue too?

male chastity

Does Wanting Chastity Mean You Are Submissive?

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Recently, I’ve posted a lot about submission. That’s because Lucie has shown a unique ability to access and exploit the sexually submissive side of my nature. Having spent much of my life denying the existence of that part of me, it amazes me to see how easily Lucie has persuaded me to not only accept but embrace being a submissive man. That explains why I’ve written about it so much lately, the amazement. I’m writing about submission again today, but taking a different tack. Does wanting chastity mean you are submissive? Nope. Not at all.

Chastity need not involve D/s or even kink, for that matter. Some guys want for a myriad of different reasons to wear a locked chastity device to which someone else controls the key to the lock simply because they desire having someone else to control their penis and access to sexual pleasure. Putting on a chastity cage and handing over the key to someone else is something we might consider a submissive act, but it doesn’t necessarily make a guy submissive.

The reason I chose to discuss this today is that I don’t want anyone to think that chastity and wearing chastity devices is only something submissive men do. That’s for two reasons. Such an understanding might prevent guys who know they aren’t submissive from trying chastity and I’ve come to believe every guy should try it even though some will decide chastity just isn’t for them. Just as important, I don’t want women who don’t feel attracted to submissive men to get turned off by the idea of chastity because they think it will transform their manly, masculine husband or boyfriend into a milquetoast, servile male who longs to wear a French maid outfit.

Assuming all submissive men are timid, weak, insipid, and effeminate is of course subscribing to an untrue stereotype. Yes, such men exist, but I believe they are the exception, not the rule. I also think dividing the entire population of men into alphas and betas is a gross oversimplification. I believe masculinity is a continuum where we could put the so-called alpha males on one end and betas on the other and where most men would fall somewhere on the line between those extremes.

Using me as an example, I’m no beta male. I’m not shy, timid, or effeminate even when I’m feeling the most submissive to Lucie. I’ve always gravitated to dominant roles and professions in everyday life and have often held leadership positions. I’ve served in two branches of the armed forces, applied for and got selected to officer candidate school, served as a commissioned military officer, completed several of the military’s hero schools and have the patches and tabs to prove it.

Like many guys I’ve known, I’m a sexual submissive, not submissive in a general sense. I don’t feel less masculine when submitting to a strong, dominant woman like Lucie. And I am not submissive to every dominant woman. I won’t be feminized, and no one, including Lucie, could ever persuade me to become a sissy maid. Just like I said about masculinity earlier, I think submission is also a continuum. I’m neither the most submissive nor least submissive guy on the planet. I fall somewhere on a line between those extremes.

If you’re a woman whose husband or partner has admitted he wants to wear a chastity device and for you to be his keyholder and maybe feel it means he isn’t the manly man you thought he was, no worries. My advice is to have a serious discussion until you feel you understand his motivations and then decide whether it is something you are able and willing to take part in. For guys who feel sure they don’t have a submissive bone in their body, you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of trying chastity if you feel curious about it. You don’t have to become something you’re not, and you might learn something about yourself you don’t know if you try it.

Since discovering my submissive nature under Lucie’s guidance, I’ve felt no discomfort or shame about it. And after weeks and now months of being locked for Lucie, I’ve learned it amplifies my submissive feelings. In my case, I feel the submissive piece has only enhanced the chastity experience. But we’re all unique individuals who respond to chastity differently. The takeaway is, just wanting chastity does not mean you are submissive. But if you are submissive, you will probably find chastity even more meaningful and enjoyable.

pro-domme key holders

Why I Prefer Having a Pro Domme Enforce My Chastity

By Chaste on Sunday, September 3, 2023

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity during those times I’ve wanted a keyholder. Mostly that is because of two reasons.

I am not in a relationship with anyone and haven’t been for several years now. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend who might enforce my chastity, though I’ve always believed that is probably the very best way to do chastity. The reason I’m not in a relationship and not looking to get into one is the other explanation for my pro domme as a keyholder preference.

Several years ago, I went through a very painful break up with a woman I had expected to spend the rest of my life with, and I’ve never fully recovered from it. I had two relationships with wonderful women after that one ended, but that’s when I realized relationships would never work for me again because I had loved that one woman so completely and so deeply that I simply had nothing left to give to another. Getting involved with another woman would never be fair to either of us, because any new relationship would ultimately fail.

That also explains why I’ve never considered seeking what many term a lifestyle domme as a keyholder, a dominant woman who might enforce my chastity as part of the power exchange and exert other forms of control, all with no expectation of payment. I have great respect for the lifestyle dommes I know, a few of whom I count as friends. But a relationship with a non-pro domme means you must deal with the dominant woman as the whole woman.

Many of the same challenges you face in vanilla dating and relationships are in play with a lifestyle domme. And that is exactly what I don’t want and firmly believe I won’t ever want. Satisfying romantic relationships is part of my past, not part of my future. Yes, it sometimes makes me feel sad to think about that, but as a realist, I can’t question the truth of my convictions.

A pro domme, in comparison, is not looking for a relationship or even any sexual interaction. Not to say that she won’t require you to perform sexual acts that she might also find arousing to have you do, or that real intimacy can’t naturally develop between the two of you. But she will never be your girlfriend.

A pro domme may be as keen about chastity enforcement and teasing and denial as you, but she is providing professional services and is in the business of creating and delivering immersive fantasies. She will connect with you in much the same way as a personal trainer, therapist, or life coach, providing her services for a fee (tribute).

I’ve discovered that many people know very little about pro dommes, what they do and don’t do, and what submitting to a pro domme is actually like. What has surprised me the most is how little lifestyle dommes know about all that.

Some assumptions about pro dommes I’ve seen lifestyle dommes post on blogs and other places were shockingly false. One example I’ve read was, “Pro dommes are the closest you can get to a porn-on-demand experience.” This woman, as many others do, believe pro dommes are “kink dispensers” that give you exactly what you want because you’re paying them. Having engaged a half-dozen pro-dommes, one of whom is internationally known and respected, I can tell you they are not kink dispensers.

I’ve never had a pro domme ask me, “So, what do you want me to do to you?” Yes, they want to know what you’re into because they aren’t mind readers. But they only want to know what your kinks are in broad terms and what your limits are. Like, “I’m into chastity, teasing and denial, impact play, and anal play. My limits are public humiliation, feminization, and cross-dressing.” They don’t care about and don’t want to hear about what you specifically want them to do to you.

Try telling a pro domme, “I want you to lock my cock in a chastity device for a week, then unlock me, and then give me jack off instructions while you watch me masturbate, and then…” You won’t even get that far before they shut you down.

Sure, you can probably find a cam girl on Only Fans who will do all that stuff for you for the right price, but submitting to pro dommes doesn’t work that way. They will take your kink interests and decide where yours overlap with theirs and then, while respecting your limits, will deliver an experience that addresses those shared interests in whatever way that pleases them. Just because you’re tributing them doesn’t mean you get to be in charge. It also doesn’t mean they don’t expect to get pleased or get their desires met too. That’s what dominance and submission are about. It’s an exchange.

Tributes are a funny thing to me. I have no trouble at all tributing a pro domme. A tribute shows respect for a pro domme’s expertise, time, and attention, all of which she could devote to someone else if she wasn’t giving it to you.

A financial tribute to a pro domme is not like paying a prostitute for sex. It isn’t like paying a woman to date you. A pro domme will not have sex with you because she isn’t a prostitute and she won’t be your girlfriend. They are not “findoms.” Yet I see guys all the time on forums advertising for a keyholder who always adds, “Not looking for pay-to-play.” Yeah, good luck with that.

If you want a domme, don’t want to tribute a pro domme, and expect free keyholding, then stop wasting your time posting personal ads on chastity forums. Find out where your local kink community hangs out, get plugged in, and start meeting some dominant women and you might get lucky by finding a lifestyle domme who is interested in you. Or else find someone who isn’t necessarily dominant but willing to date and explore chastity with you. Most women, even vanilla women, can be great keyholders as long as they want to be keyholders.

I’ve had some uniformly wonderful experiences with the pro dommes I’ve engaged with. For the past four months, I’ve submitted to the best pro domme I’ve ever played with, Lucie.

I am still enough of a romantic in the sense I don’t want to submit to just any random domme. I want that connection to one person. And I want that connection with Lucie after learning how well I respond to her relentless willingness to bend me to her will. She doesn’t indulge my kinks. Lucie uses them to taunt me with her power. She enslaves me with her body and her desires so that all I think about is the best way to please her. Even when offering what pleasures she permits me, she is only reminding me how completely she controls me. I want the relationship with Lucie to last.

Lucie has already helped me discover so much about the parts of my sexuality that exist outside what I’ve fantasized about, and she has unlocked the submissive part of my nature in ways I didn’t realize were possible. The vulnerability of being submissive is ultimately part of being a half of a whole. And in the power exchange dynamic of D/s, Lucie, for me, has become the other half.

My pleasures, like my kinks, belong to her. They are the tools of her control. “My pleasure doesn’t matter” has become my mantra. I never expected submitting to Lucie to impact me this much, to feel so bonded with her, so in the beginning, it felt bewildering to feel that things were far more real than I had expected. But she has transformed me into her perfect, driven, obedient boy.

Every opportunity to serve, to sacrifice, to suffer for her feels like something relevant has passed between us. Each whimper and groan from my heightened physical arousal produced by her vivid sexual creativity makes me feel gooey inside. “Good boy” still provokes those same shudders of desire as when I first discovered those words were in Lucie’s hand, a leash on my soul.

Those are the reasons why I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity. Or, to put a finer point on it, why I prefer having Lucie enforce my chastity. She has left an indelible mark on my soul.

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You Don’t Have to Become a Dominatrix to Be a Chastity Keyholder

By Chaste on Saturday, September 2, 2023

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something specifically for women. So, today let’s see why you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder.

Trawling the male chastity forums as I often do, I see this question or some variation of it again and again.

“How do I get my wife to dominate me?”

My answer to that question is you can’t. Not unless she wants to do it. And here is one of the biggest problems that crops up when a guy screws up the courage to admit to his wife or partner he wants her to lock his genitals in a chastity cage and take possession of the keys.

As women are prone to do, she immediately turns to the Internet to find out what in the world has come over her husband and what it is he is asking her to do exactly? Invariably, she runs headlong into all the porn and fiction surrounding male chastity that proliferates the web, and gets immediately turned off by the entire idea. She isn’t a dominatrix type and has zero interest in becoming one. “Cuckolding? Eww! That’s disgusting!”

First, the good news. You don’t have to develop an interest in wearing leather or shiny latex outfits. You don’t have to learn how to wield a flogger, paddle, or rattan cane. The fact is, you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder. You don’t even have to be an actual sexual dominant or embrace the philosophy of female superiority.

Your partner or husband isn’t asking you to become something you’re not. He is only asking you to lock up his genitals with what I admit at first blush probably looks like a ridiculous little plastic or metal thing and to take full control of his penis, orgasms, and his access to sexual pleasure. Yes, he also wants you to tease him now and again to keep his libido peaking because erotic sexual denial isn’t much fun without it. But most women, I’d say the vast majority of women, are more than capable of doing all this. Even women who may prefer the submissive role in the bedroom.

Now the bad news. A good keyholder should really want to be a keyholder. You don’t have to visit chastity forums too often to come across cases where a wife or partner is trying to dominate her man, or her man is trying to make her a keyholder, but it isn’t working because she doesn’t actually want to control him.

I think a lot of women pretend to want to enforce their partner’s chastity because they are trying to please him. They understand how much their partner wants this. They love him, and naturally they try to please him by being as domly as they can. But any self-respecting guy sees through this easily. It never really works.

You don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a keyholder, but my view is if your heart isn’t in it, leave it alone. Yes, your partner will feel dissatisfied. But it’s better to be honest. Here, a half a loaf is not better than no bread at all. A pretend keyholder is worse than no keyholder at all.

If your partner really, really wants chastity, and you aren’t that way inclined, why not let someone else lock and supervise him instead? This isn’t as strange as it might sound. Some couples find a pro domme and make the arrangement work.

Your partner wouldn’t get a girlfriend on the side. It doesn’t work that way. He would merely pay for professional chastity services in an arrangement that is quite similar to paying a dentist or a therapist for their professional services. And you can get involved in it as much or as little as you wish. The best part is you would still reap all the benefits of having a more pliable and attentive partner. Locked and denied boys are the best boys, no matter who does the locking.

Month: September 2023

Practical FLR

Lessons For A Female Led Relationship

BY J.M. SCOTT - RELEASE DATE : SEP. 11, 2018

A sharp, engaging look at female led relationships – what they are, how they work, how to start one, and why they work better than the traditional patriarchal model.