There are a number of erotic humiliation-based kinks people often associate with the practice of wearing chastity devices. This leads to the misconception that chastity is always about humiliation? But is it?
Some link humiliation-based kinks such as forced feminization, sissification, small penis humiliation (SPH), and to a degree, cuckolding, to the practice of chastity. Is chastity about humiliation? The short answer is it can be. As I’ve observed before, people find their way into chastity play and wearing chastity devices for different reasons. So, no. Humiliation is not an integral part of chastity. Not unless that is something you want to get from it.
Using me as an example, I’m someone who isn’t tuned on by and feel no attraction to any of the kinks I listed. Chastity in general doesn’t cause me to feel emasculated or desire to feel that way. Not to say I’ve never submitted to a few of the listed activities when a Mistress has required it. I don’t consider humiliation-based play a hard limit, so I’ve been willing and am willing to experience humiliation play for a dominant’s benefit. After all, it’s not just about me. Dominants should get their itches scratched too. And some of the self-identified female dominants I’ve served have enjoyed subjecting me to humiliation play. I’m secure in my masculinity, have healthy self-esteem, and am not obsessed with penis size, so I see no harm in it. But none of those activities do anything for me in any erotic sense.
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Why It Matters
I think it is important to point out that chastity isn’t always about humiliation for three reasons. Wearing chastity devices is becoming more mainstream. It isn’t just for the kink crowd anymore. Not all penis owning individuals curious about wearing chastity devices are kinky and the idea that chastity is about humiliation might put them off on trying it altogether.
Similarly, even those who love the idea of experiencing forced feminization, sissification, SPH, or cuckolding may have potential keyholder partners who are turned off by all those things. That could cause them to lack interest in participating in chastity.
Finally, kinks like SPH, sissification, and cuckolding have attracted such a wide following within chastity circles, I think many female dominants who act as keyholders automatically (but wrongly) assume every guy who wants his penis locked up also wants all the humiliation stuff to go with it, which isn’t true. Personally, I find that annoying. And if you don’t want any of that, you need to bring it up with a prospective keyholder before forging a keyholding agreement with them.
Why Do Some People Enjoy Erotic Humiliation?
When we hear the term “masochism” we tend to think about those people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from experiencing physical pain. And that is one form of sexual masochism. But there are people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain that erotic humiliation causes them to feel. For some, that might be the only kind of pain they want or are willing to receive. So, there is an element of masochism involved in erotic humiliation play whether or not those who want and enjoy it consider themselves masochists. In the same way, many sexual sadists derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to inflicting verbal or physical humiliation on their sexual partners just as much as other sadists do from inflicting physical pain. There are scientific surveys that suggest humiliation is a very common component of sadomasochistic activity.
Why a person derives arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain produced by sexual humiliation is a harder question to answer. But there are two main theories. The first, which comes from a 2002 research study called Sexual and Relationship Therapy, suggests masochism is a learned behavior. The idea behind this theory is that when an individual has repeated prior experiences in which pleasure and pain occur simultaneously, or if a past experience of pleasurable pain happens to coincide with a particularly powerful sexual experience, an association forms that the person seeks to repeat.
The second theory, proposed by American social psychologist Roy Baumeister in a 1988 article he published in the Journal of Sex Research that details his research study, suggests that masochism serves as an escape from self-awareness. Baumeister proposed that some people feel drawn to sexual pain because it provides an opportunity for psychological escape. The pain, physical or psychological, distracts them from everything else on their minds that might interfere with sexual performance.
Regardless of the reasons behind it, some people derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from suffering physical or psychological sexual pain. And erotic humiliation is a pathway to experiencing psychological pain or discomfort that some find arousing and satisfying.
Chastity Doesn’t Have to Be About Humiliation
Those of us who don’t crave erotic humiliation have plenty of other reasons we find ourselves attracted to wearing chastity devices. You might desire to wear a chastity device as a symbol of devotion to your wife or other romantic partner. Or, perhaps, chastity is a way to strengthen your self-control. Maybe you just like how much stronger and better your orgasms feel after a period of sexual denial. Finally, the submissive aspect of chastity, suffering the physical discomfort of wearing the device or denial for your keyholder, or giving greater attentiveness to your partner’s sexual satisfaction may explain your attraction to chastity play.
The great thing about chastity is it is a choose-your-own-adventure activity. You can enjoy the parts that work for you, and leave out those that don’t. So, if wearing chastity devices appeals to you but humiliation doesn’t, you can do chastity exactly the way that turns you and your keyholder on, and skip the humiliation bits that some associate with chastity.
We’re less than two full days away from the half-way mark of Chastity 90 for those who began on May 1!