June 2023 - Cut to the Chaste

Mail Call: Urethral Chastity Devices Question

By Chaste on Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Welcome to another edition of mail call where I do my best to answer questions from readers of this blog. The question today is about urethral chastity devices.

Don, a new visitor to the site, is getting back into chastity. He asked about my take on catheter use with a chastity cage. These devices, sometimes called urethral chastity cages, include either a rigid, all metal catheter or a length of silicone tubing with metal connections with friction ridges that slide into the tubing at each end. First, welcome to the site, Don. I hope you find something of value here and I appreciate you sending me the question.

It seems, based on the discussions I’ve seen on various chastity forums recently, urethral chastity cages have quite a following because of the popularity of “flat” micro-chastity devices. Also, many who use catheters believe it is a way of making the cage more secure for those who want increased security but have no interest in getting a PA piercing. I can imagine having a catheter inserted in the penis does at least make it more difficult to withdraw the penis from the back of the device. Yet, the truth is, no chastity cage is completely secure. Ball trap device security, even with a PA attachment is mostly fantasy. With the motivation, and in some cases proper tools, a person can escape from any locked chastity device.

Let me say here at the beginning, I have never worn a urethral chastity device. I once bought a micro-chastity device that came with one, but after inspecting the catheter, I tossed it. It was one of those with a length of tubing with metal connectors at the ends. No way was I going to shove that inside my dick.

Maybe they work fine and the fitting at the end you insert into your urethra will never come loose from the tubing. But I’m a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Losing one of those steel connections inside the urethra means an embarrassing and expensive visit to the emergency room and hoping a doctor can extract it without surgery. Nope, not going there.

If I was keen to try a urethral chastity device, which I’m not, the only type I’d try is one with a rigid, one-piece, medical grade stainless-steel catheter. But that’s another problem. With most of the urethral cages coming from China, how can you be sure what kind of metal they make the catheter from (or the attachable ends for those with plastic tubing)? You can’t. I did come across a U.S. company that sells after-market chastity cage catheters they claim are made from medical grade stainless steel and medical grade silicone tubing for the types with the connectors at each end. I’d be more inclined to check out that company thoroughly and then buy the catheter from them if I felt satisfied that the company seemed trustworthy.

To be honest, I think people interested in urethral chastity cages probably are more into the fetish aspect of sticking things into their dicks than looking for added security. It’s actually a common fetish and there are all kinds of things designed for those who are into it, such as; urethral sounds, penis plugs, etc. And it’s classified as serious kink play that’s best left to people who know what the hell they are doing.

Also, I recently read a medical paper on the topic of some mentally ill people with penises who stick things like pencils, wooden matches, nails, wire, and screws inside their dicks with the intention of injuring themselves, and then they appear at an emergency room regularly for treatment of injuries or help extracting an object stuck inside their penis.

Getting back to Murphy’s Law, I can think of plenty that could go wrong using a urethral chastity cage. I will even discount the chance of one of those detachable friction connectors getting lost inside one’s dick. Here are a few other risks.

Urinary tract infection (UTI) anyone? I’m pretty sure I remember a post on Thumper’s blog about how he got a UTI after trying out a cage with a catheter that ended with a trip to the emergency room. And from what I’ve read on chastity forums, that is quite common. The urethral opening of a penis stays closed unless discharging fluids for a reason. It helps keep bacteria out of the urethra. Bacteria getting into the urethra is what causes UTIs. When you insert something into your pee hole, even if it is sterile going in, it still provides a pathway for bacteria.

When medical professionals prescribe catheters for patients who need them for medical reasons, they instruct patients to carefully clean around the urethral opening and the exposed portion of the catheter daily. That is to lower the risk of getting a UTI. A chastity cage would make it difficult if not impossible to do this effectively each day without removing the cage first. And the designs I’ve seen make me think you might also have to remove the catheter to clean it and reinsert it daily as well.

Next up on our Murphy’s list is penile necrosis (gangrene of the penis), which medical professionals say is one of the risks that comes from inserting a foreign object into the penis. That can cause an infected injury to the delicate urethral tissue. This can result in acute urinary retention, septic shock with multiple organ failure, and the spread of penile gangrene to the scrotum and fascia (Fournier gangrene). It is treatable if a person seeks medical help in time, but depending on the treatment required, that can produce erectile dysfunction, chronic pain syndrome, or penile deformity. It’s rare, but penile necrosis can happen from an accidental injury.

Fistulae wounds are another possibility when putting stuff into the urethra. These are traumatic injuries that often result in infections and painful inflammation. Forcing something, particularly something too large into your urethra could cause such injuries. And like most off-the-shelf chastity devices, those with catheters come with one-size-fits-all catheters.

Although there are other possible medical complications from inserting foreign objects into the urethra through the penis, urethral strictures are the last Murphy’s possibility we’ll consider. Urethral strictures occur when scarring occurs inside the urethra, narrowing it, and impairing the flow of urine from the bladder. This can cause leaking urine, incontinence, infections of the urethra and bladder, or chronic renal failure. Medical catheter insertion is one of the most common causes of urethral strictures. How much riskier might sex toy catheters be?

So, Don, probably more than you wanted to know, but I would not use a chastity cage with a catheter nor would I recommend it. Too much could go wrong. When I look at the risk-reward ratio, I don’t see enough benefits to justify the risks.

male chastity and health

I Got Milk

By Chaste on Friday, June 23, 2023

Lucie shines again, guiding me through a successful prostate milking session. I got milk!

Knowing I long for longer locked periods, Lucie recently told me if I was willing and able to learn to milk my prostate, she would allow longer periods between unlocks. At first, the idea did not buoy my hopes of spending longer periods locked. I told her I was happy to try to learn to milk my prostate, but that I’d tried it many times in the past without much real success. She suggested that I get a stainless-steel, double-ended dildo, the Njoy Pure Wand. While a little pricey, Lucie said that it was the best prostate stimulation toy available and most guys who had tried the wand had learned how to milk themselves successfully and reliably.

I had seen the Pure Wand before on sex toy retailer sites and I knew they cost more than a hundred dollars. But Lucie seemed so confident it would work. While I don’t usually spend that much for a manual toy that isn’t a chastity device, I agreed to get one.

Lucie warned me that there are foreign companies who make and sell cheap knock-offs on Amazon manufactured from cheap steel they chrome to give the appearance of stainless-steel, and told me not to get one of those. So, I went direct to Njoy to buy mine. The price was $120 which was a little cheaper than some retailers advertise them for and a few bucks more than others. But the price was definitely mid-range and I knew I’d get the real deal, an actual Pure Wand made from surgical grade stainless-steel.

The toy arrived yesterday and I was impressed with it right out of the box. Polished to a bright shiny gloss, the Pure Wand weighs in at a hefty 1.51 lbs. (680 gr.). While the wand has a length of 8 inches (200 mm), since it is curved, the insertion length is somewhat less. But there is plenty of insertion length since the prostate is only 3-4 inches inside the rectum. Some guys can reach it with a finger. The tapered tips extend to a 1.5 inches (38mm) diameter ball on one end and to a 1 inch (25mm) diameter ball on the smaller end.

The large end looked a little intimidating since I’ve never inserted anything that large into my butt before and seem to have more trouble inserting round objects than tapered. The weight of the thing impressed me the most. After reading several online reviews from guys who had tried the Pure Wand, I found they all had the same opinion. Not only was the Pure Wand the best P-spot stimulation toy available, the weight was part of its magic. They claimed the weight did the heavy lifting as far as keeping the balls in firm contact with the prostate when inserted.

I texted Lucie yesterday day afternoon to tell her the Pure Wand had landed. Because of the difference in our respective time zones, she had already gone to bed. She texted me back this morning, eager to give the Pure Wand a spin. We scheduled a video call so she could guide me through it. I was grateful for that since the toy doesn’t come with any instructions. I had picked up a few things from the reviews I’d read, but still wasn’t sure exactly how to use the wand for the first time. Lucie, however, seemed to know all about them and that I think saved me from muddling through a steep learning curve. After we agreed on a time for a video call, I cleaned the new toy thoroughly, cleaned my butt, and got lubed up. Lucie called a short time later and we were ready to launch.

We experimented with three different positions for me and I settled on lying on my left side with my right leg lifted and heel resting on the high foot board of my bed. That felt the most comfortable to me and gave me easy access to my butt. I then put more lube on the smaller end of the wand and inserted it. It went in very smoothly and easily. The stainless steel is silky smooth and with the lube the toy is very slippery. Inside, it feels more comfortable than any of the butt toys I own with the possible exception of my smooth Pyrex glass dildo.

Lucie told me to locate the P-spot and then to move the wand in and out and side to side to see which felt most pleasurable. I did that for about five minutes as a warm-up. The small end felt best when I used a slow in and out motion. Because of the weight, I only had to control the outside end I used as a grip as the weight of the toy applied the perfect amount of pressure on my P-spot. Lucie kept asking what I was feeling sensation wise and after five minutes, she was ready to step up to the larger end. The small end felt wonderful, but I didn’t feel I was making any progress toward our objective.

After cleaning the lube from the small end, I applied more lube to the large end. You don’t want the thing covered with lube because it makes the heavy wand so slippery you can’t keep a proper grip on it.

The large end made it past the first sphincter with only a little difficulty, but when it reached the second, deeper sphincter, it was a no-go. Again, Lucie talked me through it, telling me to relax and breath deeply. And as I did so and kept slight pressure on the outside end of the wand, after maybe 90 seconds the large ball suddenly popped inside with zero discomfort. Not only did I not feel any discomfort, even before I tried to relocate the P-spot, I already felt like I was in heaven just from that large, smooth, heavy weight, inside me.

Again, after hitting the P-spot target, I experimented with in and out and side to side motions. Both felt freaking amazing and intense, so I just alternated from that point on, which my P-spot seemed to like. I’d read in the reviews you should be prepared to play for at least an hour or more when learning to manipulate the Pure Wand effectively and that it often took several sessions before you saw any results. I guess I was a fast learner, or perhaps Lucie’s coaching made the difference. All I know for sure is after the 5-minute warm up, and less than fifteen minutes working the large end inside me, while Lucie chatted away, it happened.

Without any of the muscle contractions I associate with orgasms and ejaculation, I felt wetness on my inner left thigh and looked down to see fluids running out of the tip of my chastity cage onto my thigh. It felt nothing like ejaculating semen, and didn’t just dribble out like with a ruined orgasm. It literally ran out but without any pressure behind it the way pee has when you urinate.

All I felt just before it happened was the P-spot sensations growing more intense and pleasurable from the wand, growing generalized pressure in my crotch, and then feeling sort of like I needed to urinate. The way I had positioned the phone, all Lucie could see was mostly my butt. So, I stopped when I saw the fluids coming out and rolled onto my back so she could see the fluids on my inner left thigh. There was a lot of it.

“Good boy!” she exclaimed. “We have milk!”

The fluids were different in color than semen, more transparent, and it wasn’t of the same viscosity but thinner. I scooped some up with a finger and smelled it. Semen to me has always smelled mostly like bleach. At least my semen. This fluid smelled like semen but the bleach smell was somewhat stronger. Of course, Lucie insisted on a taste test. I’ve tasted my semen before and this fluid tasted more bitter and wasn’t nearly as thick and slimy.

We chatted a little while longer. Lucie seemed as surprised as I was that we had been successful on the very first virtual milking attempt. After we disconnected, I removed the toy. It came out much easier than it went in since it was going with rather than against the inner sphincter. Then I cleaned up. While showering, I processed the experience and assessed my feelings.

I felt ridiculously horny, but the slight sexual frustration I’d felt earlier in the morning after waking up had evaporated. So, while the milking did nothing to unwind the sexual tension that has built up over the past many weeks, it relieved some built-up pressure somewhere and eliminated the feelings of frustration. I felt nothing like the pleasure of an orgasm, but still felt tremendous pleasure all the same, if that makes sense. Without a doubt, it was the most pleasurable, intense, anal experience I’ve ever had and I’ve done butt play for a very long time.

I’m a believer. The Njoy Pure Wand is the best P-spot stimulation toy available and I’ve tried many. It’s now my new favorite butt toy, and was worth every penny. And I got milk! Now, if I can replicate the successful experience of today, I can look forward to longer, more satisfying locked periods with Lucie. Can I just say it again? I have the most amazing Mistress.

I purchased the Njoy Pure Wand with my own funds at the full retail price. I have no affiliation with Njoy beyond being a very satisfied customer. Opinions expressed in this post are my own.

Male Submission

Discovering Submission

By Chaste on Thursday, June 22, 2023

Discovering submission this week in the strangest way. I didn’t even know I had it in me.

I’m not a natural submissive. No, seriously. I’m not. I want to be in control. In years past, I was active in the BDSM community as a dominant. Back then, I had a wise dominant female friend who once told me that no one is completely anything. She said that there is a mixture of dominance and submission in everyone. And even if a person is mostly one thing, there is still a latent percentage of the other lurking about waiting for the right person to come along who knows how to access it. I wasn’t sure I believed my friend’s theory. Not until Lucie came along. Lucie knows how to access that submissive nature part of me that I never believed existed. And it’s ridiculous how easily she does it.

Lucie has been in fine form this week. Today, she gave me an assignment that left me insanely horny. But, this past Sunday, she gave me an assignment that I absolutely did not want to do, and knew would not turn me on. I was sure it would not only not turn me on, it would make me angry if she made me do it. I almost said to her, “No, I really don’t want to do what you said.” But then I thought I should adopt a more diplomatic approach because I know that “no” is not a word that dominants suffer gladly. I considered my options.

There were a number of possible responses that I ticked off mentally. I could have pled with her, and begged her to change her mind. Or I could have explained, calmly and rationally, why it would not be a good idea for me to do that thing. Of course, I could have told her I’d do it if she insisted, but asked her to take into account my extreme unwillingness. But before I could decide, it occurred to me that what she had told me to do did not violate any of the limits I gave her at the outset. She had required me to list them before agreeing to play with me. So, I took a deep breath, and said,” Yes, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress.” Then I just did the thing, without hesitation, though I didn’t pretend to enjoy it.

I was right about doing the thing. I didn’t like doing it. In fact, I hated it. And as I predicted, got angry as soon as I started. And I may have said some bad words. Maybe, a lot of bad words. But only I heard them. I sure didn’t say them to Lucie. I spent half the day doing the thing, but mercifully I finished it finally and sent her a text telling her I had finished as she told me to do. She dialed me up for another video call and I provided the proof I’d done the thing, following all of her detailed instructions. Then, it got weird. She praised me effusively and told me she knew I didn’t want to do the thing and that’s why she had told me to do it.

“It was a test,” she said. “I will never make you do something that might harm you, mentally or physically, is outside your capabilities, or violates the boundaries of your limits. But, other than that, if it’s something that I want, and I know you can do it, even if you don’t like it, after I’ve considered what you have to say, you will do it. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Good boy,” she said.

None of that was the weird part. The weird part was what I realized and how I felt after we said goodbye and ended the video call. I realized I have truly and deeply submitted to Lucie and there is very little in my life I care about more than serving and pleasing her. I’m not just pretending to submit for fun or role playing it to get my selfish fantasies enacted. I am truly submissive to her.

Sure, I know. Those who have wives or intimate partners as their keyholders, “real keyholders,” will say that a virtual relationship like mine is only fantasy. It’s not real. I don’t disagree with that completely.

I’m a pragmatist and a realist. I know virtual isn’t the same as real life. But you know what? Parts of it are real, as real as it gets. I am really submitting to a dominant woman, and I find it hugely meaningful and centering. She keeps me perpetually horny and suffering more than a little sexual frustration. I know when she says “good boy” it has all the feels. All of that is certainly real. And my desire to serve and please her, albeit in the tiny ways possible in a virtual environment, is real. I also know Lucie is very good at what she does. Scary good. And as Emerson once wrote, “What I need is someone who will make me do what I can.” Lucie is that person for me. That’s real enough for me.

enforced male chastity

Don’t Say Yes

By Chaste on Saturday, June 17, 2023

Keyholders, don’t say yes, too easily or too soon. Sometimes when he begs you to unlock him, what he really wants is to hear you say no, repeatedly and without hesitation.

The secret fear of the chastity sub is that the keyholder may not have the will to keep saying no to the point where he can endure no more. He’s afraid she may unlock him too soon. He has picked her for his keyholder because she is a good woman. After all, it’s an intimate relationship, like any other. He wants someone who feels sympathetic, is kind, and caring. Who doesn’t want that in a partner? But can a woman like that really be the strict, implacable keyholder he craves? One who is indifferent to his whimpers, his half-suppressed appeals for mercy? Can she continue to relentlessly subject him to merciless teasing and the pains of denial?

Some women, especially those who accept the keys to a chastity device from a partner they are already in an intimate relationship with, find it hard not to say yes when he begs her to unlock him. Some even feel it’s cruel to keep him locked when he seems so miserable. After all, she loves him and finds it hard to watch him suffer especially when she feels responsible for his torment. Or perhaps she worries about his prostate health or his comfort. But a keyholder must have the mental strength to keep saying no when he begs, when he pesters her for release, when he whines how miserable the blue balls feel.

What the chastity sub needs is for the keyholder to overpower him, to force him to yield. He wants her to strip him of every last vestige of ego and resistance. He doesn’t want a keyholder who takes pity on him just because he complains about the frustration he feels or because he moans about the ache in his balls.

As the need and the frustration increases, a tension takes hold in his mind. Gradually it approaches the point where it seems unbearable. Soon he wants it to stop. He wants her to unlock him and allow him relief. And yet, and this is the true mystery, he doesn’t want her to say yes. He wants to see how much more he can take. He wants the sort of keyholder who might say to him, “No, I want you to remain locked for a while longer.” What he needs is a keyholder whose desire to keep him locked will ultimately prove stronger than his desire to suffer the frustration of no sex, no orgasms, no access to his penis.

Indeed, sometimes when he wants to stay locked in chastity, he will still beg her to unlock him and allow him respite. He is simply asking because he wants to her say no, without hesitation because he craves feeling her exert her control. And if he pesters her until she relents, he feels only disappointment. He wants to know she won’t say yes too soon, that she won’t let him off lightly.

Sometimes, in the cold light of day, he contemplates the full implications of his desires and feels a little frightened by it all. Surely, he doesn’t really want this. He needs a safe word. He needs her to clearly understand when he’s reached his limits. He needs to know he can bail out if it gets too tough. But there is a part of his mind that doesn’t want that at all. The thought that she might have the power and will to push him beyond what he can bear makes his head swim. It makes his dick throb within the confines of its unyielding cage and drool precum. When he handed her the keys, he wondered. “Have I finally met my match?” He hopes so. “Please,” he prays, “Don’t say yes when I beg.”

Yes, while he stays locked and suffers the pangs of need and frustration, he wants her sympathy, her soft caresses, and soothing words. Most of all he wants assurance she recognizes how much he is suffering for her. But right now, he doesn’t want release. He wants to plumb the depths of her cruelty. Make her unyielding. Make her relentless.

honor chastity

Honor Chastity

By Chaste on Friday, June 16, 2023

It bears mentioning that enforced chastity does not require wearing a chastity device. I should know since Lucie sometimes decrees it.

Can you be chaste without a chastity device? Yes. Yes, you can. It’s called honor chastity, or “on your honor” chastity. Honor chastity is the lowest level but the most accessible form of chastity.

Alternatively, doing chastity by wearing a cock cage, we term physical device chastity. It’s even possible to get the same euphoric dopamine-fueled experience with honor chastity, since orgasm denial is orgasm denial whether or not a chastity device is in play. Kinky people were doing orgasm denial play long before reasonably priced chastity devices became widely available and popular.

Why Honor Chastity?

As I shared previously, Lucie sometimes imposes honor chastity on me. I finished another three days unlocked yesterday before she locked me again. As I’ve explained, Lucie feels it is healthier to spend time unlocked, but that’s not the only reason she doesn’t keep me locked all the time. The terms do not change when I’m unlocked. I’m still kept in denial and prohibited from touching “her” cock and balls more than is necessary for me to soap up while showering or bathing. She also prohibits me from touching myself anywhere else for pleasure unless she tells me to do so.

Lucie also believes practicing chastity without the assist of a chastity device to physically prevent the wearer from getting full erections, masturbating, and having orgasms is a truer show of devotion and submission. She considers honor chastity a greater achievement, since the chastity submissive must depend solely on willpower and devotion to the key holder to avoid cheating. Lucie has told me that since she is serious about strict chastity that she dislikes keyholding for those who wear a chastity device only for fun or as the means to enact their own selfish fantasies. She expects her chastity subs to focus on her, not on themselves.

Lucie isn’t the only one. I know other dominant women in female-led relationships who impose orgasm control and denial on their submissive partners, who do not allow their subs to wear cock cages ever. They reject the use of chastity devices for similar reasons. They expect their subs not to masturbate or orgasm without permission out of simple obedience.

I agree with Lucie. It feels like more of an achievement when I obey her rules and submit to her control without the aid of a chastity device. And I have grown to appreciate the periods of honor chastity even though I prefer to wear a device all the time since I view wearing a device as a tangible sign of my submission, obedience, and devotion to Lucie. But she makes the rules.

You might enjoy this interesting article from a blog I follow that describes honor chastity within the female-led relationship dynamic.

Here it’s more about orgasm control and denial used to make sure the dominant woman is always sexually satisfied. Still, it is a form of honor chastity since the submissive can’t masturbate, have sex, or orgasm without his female dominant’s permission. And her submissive partner gets no choice. Wearing a chastity device isn’t an option for him. He must reply on willpower and his devotion to his partner.

But Isn't Honor Chastity Hard?

When faced with battling the fires in our loins, it can feel like our brain has only a limited ability to keep saying “no.” We feel like we exhaust that ability very quickly. Saying no to your sex drive can be like saying no to that extra slice of pie at dinner or to continuing to binge watch that show you love watching on Netflix when you know you really should turn it off and mow the lawn or clean the garage. Honor chastity can feel like going on a restrictive diet or keeping a New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. Does anyone enjoy that?

Evolution hasn’t wired us to say no to our male sexual urges. Instead, it has programmed us to get gratification by ejaculating whenever we feel horny, so we can stop thinking about it for a while.

For some, even when they are successful with honor chastity, all that annoying self-discipline and holding back they must do and can never take a break from, can sour the experience. Trying to stay strong and not give in only serves to make them keep thinking about how horny they are and how badly they need relief.

In reality, few guys have the grit needed to give up orgasms for more than a day or two, much less an entire week. A secure chastity cage, assuming you don’t have access to the key or find a way to cheat, does the heavy lifting for you. Yes, honor chastity is harder than physical device chastity. But it is not impossible, and it doesn’t have to feel like pure misery.

If you can’t resist the temptation to cheat, even when you know your spouse, partner, or other keyholder has forbidden masturbation and orgasms without permission, it’s time for a little introspection. Whether you are wearing a chastity device or only doing honor chastity, ask yourself why you’re willing to cheat, even though you probably asked for chastity to begin with. Maybe you’re one of those individuals Lucie dislikes wasting her time on who only wants to wear a chastity device for fun or to enact your own fantasies.

Honor chastity hasn’t felt hard for me. I haven’t felt my willpower crumbling when unlocked for two reasons. First, Lucie has earned my devotion and I want to please her, not disappoint her. Also, even though Lucie is a pro keyholder, our relationship still requires trust. I know who I am and I know I couldn’t hide it from Lucie if I cheated and I couldn’t lie to her. I couldn’t lie, even though I’m sure she would end our agreement if I confessed to cheating because it would destroy the trust we’re building. So, I think honor chastity is doable as long as you want enforced chastity for the right reasons.

Things You Might Miss with Honor Chastity

The experience of being unable to get erections

It’s a total mind fuck when your penis wants to get hard but it can’t. When a cage stops your erection in its tracks, it feels very tight. It feels almost like an erection, but not the kind you’re accustomed to. It’s a unique sensation, and one you might discover is not only frustrating, but also kind of arousing at the same time.

The feel of the ring behind your balls

The vice-like grip of the ring around your balls can feel like your Keyholder or Dominant’s soft but unforgiving grasp of your genitals. It’s a constant reminder of being put in your place, exactly where you should be.

The weight of the device

Especially with stainless steel cages, the feel of the weighty metal throughout the day is another constant reminder of your chastity and devotion to your keyholder.

The inability to feel your cock

Imprisoned inside a cage, you can’t touch your cock or feel anything through your cock. You can grip that cage all day long, but you will never feel that sensation of gripping your bare shaft. It’s almost like your dick isn’t even there. The bonus is, over time, without the constant friction of underwear and masturbation, the skin of your glans gets more and more sensitive. When you are released, you’ll feel every tiny caress.

Feeling the loss of complete control

On of the best aspects of having someone lock your penis in a cock cage is feeling the complete loss of control. You know, within reason, there is nothing you can do to escape. You have no choice and no freedom. It’s the feeling of being conquered. At the same time, it feels strangely exciting, relaxing, and even calming.

So, yeah. Honor chastity isn’t the same as device assisted chastity. But I’ve discovered it has its benefits too. As an example, when I’m unlocked and denied, I feel Lucie’s control and the reality of the power exchange even more vividly than when I’m locked. Still, I’m feeling happy this first day of the second half of Chastity 90, locked securely once again by Lucie in my Cobra N.

male chasity devices

KINK3D Fulfills Promise Rolling Out Cobra Fusion Pink

By Chaste on Thursday, June 15, 2023

Since the inception of the Kink3D Cobra 3-D printed chastity device, the company emulated Henry Ford’s famous philosophy when he started manufacturing the Model T. When asked what color Ford would offer the cars in, he said: “Any color the customer wants, as long as it’s black.” So, Kink3D customers got the same singular color choice, basic black. But after two years of R&D, Kink3D fulfilled its promise for other color options with the rollout of Cobra Fusion Pink^TM.

As I mentioned recently in my review of the Kink3D Cobra N, the company has long promised additional color choices. That had appeared on the company’s website for years, which made me wonder how committed they were to the idea. But they have fulfilled the promise with the first new color since the company put the Cobra device on the market by rolling out the Kink3D Cobra Fusion Pink^TM model. The popular Cobra chastity device will now be available in a vibrant shade of pink. Kink3D is now taking preorders and will begin shipping the new devices in mid-July, although that may extend to September depending on the model ordered.

Kink3D Cobra Fusion Pink Available Sizes and Pricing

The Fusion Pink Cobra comes in the same eight sizes as the original black Cobra. The devices are available as kits (cage, one base ring, and lock) and you can order the cages and rings separately.

Expect to pay $40 more across the entire line for the Fusion Pink kits than the original black models cost. Those who truly prefer pink chastity devices may find paying more to get one well worth it. Those who are fine with basic black might prefer to save a few bucks. While I love the new color, I’m happy with black.

Other Cobra Fusion Pink Data

According to the website, Kink3D manufactures the Fusion Pink cages with non-reactive PA12 nylon without any colorants that might irritate sensitive skin.

The company applies a unique solvent at a lower temperature, that protects the bright pink color and gives the devices a glossy finish and a slightly more grippy feeling texture compared to the standard black devices.

In conclusion, if you’ve longed for a hot pink Cobra, your ship has come in.

chastity

Is Chastity About Humiliation?

By Chaste on Tuesday, June 13, 2023

There are a number of erotic humiliation-based kinks people often associate with the practice of wearing chastity devices. This leads to the misconception that chastity is always about humiliation? But is it?

Some link humiliation-based kinks such as forced feminization, sissification, small penis humiliation (SPH), and to a degree, cuckolding, to the practice of chastity. Is chastity about humiliation? The short answer is it can be. As I’ve observed before, people find their way into chastity play and wearing chastity devices for different reasons. So, no. Humiliation is not an integral part of chastity. Not unless that is something you want to get from it.

Using me as an example, I’m someone who isn’t tuned on by and feel no attraction to any of the kinks I listed. Chastity in general doesn’t cause me to feel emasculated or desire to feel that way. Not to say I’ve never submitted to a few of the listed activities when a Mistress has required it. I don’t consider humiliation-based play a hard limit, so I’ve been willing and am willing to experience humiliation play for a dominant’s benefit. After all, it’s not just about me. Dominants should get their itches scratched too. And some of the self-identified female dominants I’ve served have enjoyed subjecting me to humiliation play. I’m secure in my masculinity, have healthy self-esteem, and am not obsessed with penis size, so I see no harm in it. But none of those activities do anything for me in any erotic sense.

Why It Matters

I think it is important to point out that chastity isn’t always about humiliation for three reasons. Wearing chastity devices is becoming more mainstream. It isn’t just for the kink crowd anymore. Not all penis owning individuals curious about wearing chastity devices are kinky and the idea that chastity is about humiliation might put them off on trying it altogether.

Similarly, even those who love the idea of experiencing forced feminization, sissification, SPH, or cuckolding may have potential keyholder partners who are turned off by all those things. That could cause them to lack interest in participating in chastity.

Finally, kinks like SPH, sissification, and cuckolding have attracted such a wide following within chastity circles, I think many female dominants who act as keyholders automatically (but wrongly) assume every guy who wants his penis locked up also wants all the humiliation stuff to go with it, which isn’t true. Personally, I find that annoying. And if you don’t want any of that, you need to bring it up with a prospective keyholder before forging a keyholding agreement with them.

Why Do Some People Enjoy Erotic Humiliation?

When we hear the term “masochism” we tend to think about those people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from experiencing physical pain. And that is one form of sexual masochism. But there are people who derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain that erotic humiliation causes them to feel. For some, that might be the only kind of pain they want or are willing to receive. So, there is an element of masochism involved in erotic humiliation play whether or not those who want and enjoy it consider themselves masochists. In the same way, many sexual sadists derive sexual arousal and satisfaction in response to inflicting verbal or physical humiliation on their sexual partners just as much as other sadists do from inflicting physical pain. There are scientific surveys that suggest humiliation is a very common component of sadomasochistic activity.

Why a person derives arousal and satisfaction in response to the psychological pain produced by sexual humiliation is a harder question to answer. But there are two main theories. The first, which comes from a 2002 research study called Sexual and Relationship Therapy, suggests masochism is a learned behavior. The idea behind this theory is that when an individual has repeated prior experiences in which pleasure and pain occur simultaneously, or if a past experience of pleasurable pain happens to coincide with a particularly powerful sexual experience, an association forms that the person seeks to repeat.

The second theory, proposed by American social psychologist Roy Baumeister in a 1988 article he published in the Journal of Sex Research that details his research study, suggests that masochism serves as an escape from self-awareness. Baumeister proposed that some people feel drawn to sexual pain because it provides an opportunity for psychological escape. The pain, physical or psychological, distracts them from everything else on their minds that might interfere with sexual performance.

Regardless of the reasons behind it, some people derive sexual arousal and satisfaction from suffering physical or psychological sexual pain. And erotic humiliation is a pathway to experiencing psychological pain or discomfort that some find arousing and satisfying.

Chastity Doesn’t Have to Be About Humiliation

Those of us who don’t crave erotic humiliation have plenty of other reasons we find ourselves attracted to wearing chastity devices. You might desire to wear a chastity device as a symbol of devotion to your wife or other romantic partner. Or, perhaps, chastity is a way to strengthen your self-control. Maybe you just like how much stronger and better your orgasms feel after a period of sexual denial. Finally, the submissive aspect of chastity, suffering the physical discomfort of wearing the device or denial for your keyholder, or giving greater attentiveness to your partner’s sexual satisfaction may explain your attraction to chastity play.

The great thing about chastity is it is a choose-your-own-adventure activity. You can enjoy the parts that work for you, and leave out those that don’t. So, if wearing chastity devices appeals to you but humiliation doesn’t, you can do chastity exactly the way that turns you and your keyholder on, and skip the humiliation bits that some associate with chastity.

We’re less than two full days away from the half-way mark of Chastity 90 for those who began on May 1!

chastity device wear

Is Permanent Chastity the Ultimate Goal?

By Chaste on Monday, June 12, 2023

Is it the purpose of wearing a chastity device for everyone to achieve permanent chastity by wearing it 24/7, twelve months a year? Let’s talk about it..

Some people think the legitimate practice of chastity involves progressively longer periods of being locked, leading to permanent chastity (except for brief unlocked periods for cleaning).

I’ve held this perspective on chastity from the start, particularly after finishing my initial 30-day locked period. The longer I wore the device, the more I desired to stay locked. My recent partnership with Lucie, my remote keyholder, has brought about a change for me.

Not only does Lucie decide when I wear a device, but also when I don’t. She thinks it’s important for good health and other reasons to take regular breaks from wearing a chastity device. For example, Lucie is of the opinion that my obedience to her when I’m unlocked is a better way to gauge my submission to her than when I’m wearing a device. Also, during my unlocked periods, Lucie can subject me to some teasing she can’t when I’m locked. I’ve learned that she particularly enjoys making me edge in the usual way, which I find extremely arousing but also devastatingly frustrating. The suffering is, of course, the point. She is a sadist, after all.

Previously, I preferred wearing a chastity device as much as possible, but now I’ve had to change my perspective. I have to admit that Lucie has taught me a thing or two about chastity that I never experienced before. One thing I’ve learned is to value the submissive aspect of chastity more than ever.

Although I prefer permanent chastity, I don’t think it must be the aim for all users of chastity devices. This is not only unrealistic but also undesirable. Everyone has their own reason for embracing chastity. Wearing a chastity device for extended periods can have benefits, but permanent chastity is not superior to short-term chastity. Wearing a device for a few days or hours is a valid form of chastity and the experience of denial.

If you want to practice permanent chastity, that’s great. Go for it. But if you only want to do chastity occasionally, and only for short periods of time, you’re not doing it wrong. Chastity is not a competition, and the only opinions that matter are yours and those of your keyholder if you have one. Chastity is only about what works for you in satisfying what you want to get from it.

Even though I’m again taking a Lucie mandated break from my cage, I’m still practicing chastity and remain denied. That’s because Lucie graciously agreed to allow me to keep my commitment to the Chastity 90 challenge. For another forty-eight days, at least, I won’t experience orgasm or ejaculation. But afterward, that too will be up to Lucie.

I’m finding this unlocked period less unsettling than the last. It hasn’t surprised me that being unlocked hasn’t created the temptation to cheat. I respect Lucie too much to cheat, and I don’t want to disappoint her. Also, by giving in to temptation and allowing myself sexual release, I would cheat myself as much as Lucie. While she hasn’t told me how long that I’ll stay unlocked this time, I expect it will be for fewer days than the last time since I was locked fewer days. But of course, that’s up to Lucie and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The post image is more of my AI art experimentation, which I’m finding hugely entertaining. Hope you like it.

Month: June 2023