Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Three

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

I came to the practice of chastity in a roundabout way. I read an article by Taylor Johnson, a sex educator and relationship coach, in which he shared his experiences while going thirty days without ejaculating. The claims he made were mind-blowing and sounded like something I needed. I say “claims” because it all sounded so good, I was a bit skeptical. For me, I have to experience most things I learn about on the internet before I believe them. So, I gave thirty-day semen retention a go. But there was a problem. 

What I attempted was basically honor chastity, although I wasn’t familiar with the term back then. Similar to resolving to fast, diet, or exercise more, with this method, I employed raw willpower to keep myself from falling into temptation. I found it incredibly hard to keep saying no to something my brain and body demanded, something both were accustomed to getting frequently. So, the experience was not enjoyable at all, soured by all the annoying self-discipline and holding back. 

After only four or five days, my willpower crumbled one evening, and I took matters into my own hands. I never got to the juicy later stages Johnson had promised. But then I made another exciting discovery, a Tumblr blog curated by a woman going by the name Agni (pseudonym of course), a self-styled male chastity expert. Agni introduced me to the exciting possibilities of male chastity and an easier path toward achieving the things Taylor Johnson had written about. 

The first thing I learned from Agni was physical device chastity, be it a chastity belt or a cock cage, was vastly superior to abstinence based on self-discipline and raw willpower. Because of my past involvement with the BDSM community, I was already aware of chastity tubes or cages since the first company to mass produce ball-trapping chastity devices marketed them to that community from the start. I’d seen them on retailer websites and they had looked cool. But I’d given no serious thought to buying one. But Agni made them sound so useful and wonderful, I began investigating. 

What I learned was chastity devices were even more widely available than ever before and the prices had dropped dramatically because more manufacturers were producing them. Agni’s passionate advocacy of the benefits of male chastity and chastity devices persuaded me to take my first baby steps into the world of male chastity. And I ordered my first chastity device. 

Remember, I knew very little chastity devices and was completely unaware of how important it was to measure before choosing and buying a chastity device. So, I just pored over retailer websites until I found one that I found aesthetically pleasing and ordered it. 

Another thing I learned from Agni was physical device chastity wasn’t much more effective than honor chastity unless you had a third party (keyholder) holding the keys to the device and controlling access to the contents of the device. So, I did one thing right. Since I didn’t have a partner or friend to ask to become my keyholder, I launched a web search for a remote keyholder. Through mostly blind luck, I quickly found a woman I still believe is the most perfect keyholder for a guy taking his first tentative steps on the chastity journey. She is as knowledgeable about male chastity as Agni and knows how to safely introduce a guy to safely adjusting to wearing a chastity device. I signed up for a thirty-day chastity “boot camp,” and as they say, the rest is history. 

The first few days under the tutelage of my experienced keyholder revealed the chastity device I’d bought would not work for me. The tube was too long for one thing, but the big problem was the gap was too wide, and this allowed my testicles to pop free of the base ring. With her help, I found and bought a second device, which worked much better. And she taught me about the importance of measuring before choosing and buying a chastity device. Before the end of the month that I’d committed to, she helped me choose and order my first custom fitted device from Mature Metal. 

I continued with my first keyholder for over three months and soon permanent chastity became my goal as I reaped the amazing benefits of sexual abstinence that I’d first learned about from Taylor Johnson’s article. I experienced the peacefulness, vibrancy, clarity, power, purpose, and presence he had described. The depression and stress evaporated. I slept better and my productivity increased to levels I’d never experienced. I felt alive in a new way, and it felt incredible. But I had a setback. 

As much as I desired to practice permanent chastity, I tried to attain it too fast and after over three months with my keyholder, we reached an impasse. That wasn’t her fault, as she only gave me what I’d asked her for, but I felt compelled to withdraw from our agreement when she insisted I do things I didn’t enjoy or find meaningful. One issue was we weren’t focused on the same thing. I was more focused on the benefits of semen retention than on the concept of male chastity, and male chastity with all the trappings of obedience and submission to the wishes of a keyholder was her focus. So, we parted ways, and I chose to self-lock. 

The good news is, under the supervision of my first keyholder and my adjustment to chastity, my self-discipline and willpower increased dramatically. So, when I committed to remaining locked and chaste for thirty days or more, I kept those commitments. And I’ve enjoyed splendid success with self-locking. But I missed the extra mental and emotional boost having a keyholder provides, so from time to time, I still engage with a remote keyholder whenever I feel my motivation is lagging or when I just get bored with self-locking.