Month: June 2020

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2

This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, focuses on guys who are not in a committed romantic relationship at the moment but are interested in trying chastity. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.

In The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, we defined the term keyholder. I won’t repeat the definition here, so if you haven’t read the first part of the multi-part post, you can click on the above link and review it if you wish.

As noted in the first part of this post, a keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly for men in relationships, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner. A guy not in a relationship doesn’t have this built-in option. That can make finding a keyholder at least somewhat more challenging. But it is not impossible.

Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All

Is it even necessary to have a keyholder to try chastity? Can’t a guy just self-lock or use one of the many virtual chastity device keyholders you can easily find on the web? Sure, you can do that, and some men find that an acceptable option. Just understand you won’t get the full chastity experience if you go about it that way. Locking your device and then handing over the keys to another human being to control takes chastity to a whole other level.

Most guys who try self-locking get bored right away. And, let’s face it. Self-locking is hard. You become entirely dependent on willpower to control those same urges that may have often sent you to a porn site with your penis in your hand. Most of us don’t have the willpower to last very long on our own. Also, starting your chastity journey alone is a lonely way to go. If what you want is the chastity lifestyle instead of just chastity play, a keyholder is a must.

I Have No One To Ask To Be My Keyholder

I hear a lot of guys say, I’d really like to try chastity, and I know I won’t enjoy self-locking. But I have no one to ask to be my keyholder. When I hear that, I think what they probably mean is that they are hesitant to ask someone to be their keyholder. It’s really quite like how we are sometimes timid about asking out a girl we like because we’re afraid she will say no. None of us enjoys rejection. I get that. Also, guys may fear if they bring up chastity with a girl, they believe she will think they are weird or something. But, the truth is, most guys know someone they could ask if they would only do it.

Most of us have females as platonic friends. A good many of us have ex-girlfriends. Both of those are good options. I have always tended to remain friends with my ex-girlfriends after the romantic relationships ended. Just because we weren’t a good fit for a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good friends. Out of my last four ex-girlfriends, I’d be comfortable with asking three of them to be my keyholder. At least two of those I’m pretty sure would agree to do it. I also have two female friends I’ve never dated that are definite maybes.

A guy I spoke with on a chastity website in a chat room once told me that one of his ex-girlfriends had been his keyholder for years. He’d mail her his keys, and she’d give him a date when he could ask to have them back. When he asked, she would either send the keys back or give him a new date when he could ask again. He said she liked being his keyholder so much he was concerned about one thing. He worried someday he would ask for the keys back, and she would not only say no, but she’d also say there would be no new release dates. Then he’d find himself in permanent chastity.

As long as the relationship with an ex-girlfriend ended amicably, and you are still in regular contact, she might be only too happy to mail out a lock or some keys once in a while and set a release date. It’s hardly any effort on her part, and it allows her to keep a thumb on the scales of your life. We could say pretty much the same thing about platonic female friends.

In both cases, you just need to do a good job of explaining to them your interest in chastity and what you want them to do. And make sure you tell them that if they agree to be your keyholder, they are allowed to exercise their independent judgment about when they give you releases.

The truth is, there are something like 3.5 billion females on the planet. Unless a guy is a castaway on some deserted island, it’s hard to make the case he has no one to ask to be his keyholder. But, if you’re too shy to ask a female you know, or too afraid she will think you’re a freak for the asking, then you have other options.

The Professionals

Beyond platonic friends and ex-girlfriends, a keyholder can also be a professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. There are advantages and disadvantages to using a pro. An advantage is you don’t have to explain chastity to them. They probably know more about it than you do, and they will also probably know all about the different chastity device options. The disadvantage is you must pay them to enforce your chastity, and in some cases, they will insist upon making all the rules without any concern for what you may want in your chastity experience. Let’s look at three options.

Professional Dominatrix

Most professional dominatrices offer enforced chastity services. But they will often be the most expensive option. These ladies often make their livings from indulging the kinks of their clients. If you live in a large city, chances are you can even find a local one. If so, you can probably schedule a face-to-face session where she will physically lock you in your device.

You can also connect with one online via Skype or some similar video and voice platform, and she will supervise while you lock yourself. These women also offer a wide array of other services tailored to kink enthusiasts, tease and denial as one example. Since a professional dominatrix sets her own prices, it would be useless for me to try and offer price specifics. Let’s just say you should expect to pay them hundreds of dollars per hour, whether you are looking for an in-person or online video-based session. Almost always, you pay a dominatrix in cash, or by online cash transfers. You find these women on the Internet. They are small businesspersons, and all have a web and social media presence.

Professional Dommes

Professional Dommes are similar to professional dominatrices regarding the kind of services they offer. They, too, can be on the expensive side, but not usually as expensive as a professional dominatrix. Again, in larger cities, you may find them locally. Also, there are many of them online. Some charge per hour for sessions like their dominatrix sisters, but some offer basic enforced chastity keyholding services at a standard weekly rate. I’ve used one such online service, which was very reasonable in price.

If you want something besides keyholding, like tease and denial sessions or online assignments, be prepared to pay extra. Usually, you pay pro-dommes in cash, or by online cash transfers. You also find pro-dommes on the Internet. A web search on the term “chastity keyholder” will return lots of website links for your consideration.

Other Service For-Fee Providers

The recent explosive growth of interest in chastity among men has created a cottage-like industry to address the increased demand for chastity keyholders. These women are almost exclusively online, distant keyholders. Women, from college students to homemakers to lifestyle dommes, are prepared to be your keyholder for a nominal fee. It tends to be a side gig for them instead of a full-time job.

Many of these service for-fee providers have websites, but a lot of them operate off social media platforms like Twitter. While they have set fees, the costs for keyholding are typically much less than you would pay a dominatrix or pro-domme. Another difference is many of these providers don’t accept cash. Instead, they require payments (they term “tributes”) via online digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon and other retailers.

Take Away

I believe having a “lifestyle” keyholder, a platonic friend or ex-girlfriend, is the best option, and not only because it’s free. I think it is just a better experience, closer to what men in relationships enjoy from having a wife or partner as their keyholder. But, if that’s not an option for you, there are professional ladies out there willing to hold your keys for a fee.

With all the options available, I don’t see a reason any guy has to self-lock and go it alone. There are the virtual keyholding services out there you can find on the web, some that are free for basic service, and some at a nominal charge. But comparing a virtual keyholding service to a flesh and blood keyholder to me is like comparing a Fleshlight to a girlfriend. It just isn’t the same.


That wraps up The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Keyholder. Thanks for reading. I hope you learned something or that the posts at least sparked a few ideas for you. Good luck finding your perfect keyholder, or one as perfect as your circumstances allow.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1

This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, is aimed at guys who are in one of two places right now. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.

Before we jump into our topic, allow me to explain the term “idiot,” which I used is the title of this post. I used it only used as hyperbole. Being unsure about how to go about acquiring a keyholder does not make you an idiot. We’ve all be there. I’m only stressing the point that I hope to provide you with a basic understanding of what can be a confusing, complicated topic. My approach will be explaining how to find a keyholder using basic terminology, definitions, and a synopsis of the steps to be taken within the context of your unique situation.

What Is a Keyholder, Anyway?

keyholder

noun

CHASTITY

a keyholder is a person who consents to possess the key to someone else’s chastity device.

A keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner, But a keyholder can also be a friend, professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. Sometimes, because it’s male chastity, people assume a keyholder is always a female. That isn’t the case. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can fill the role. However, for the sake of brevity, I will be using she/her to refer to keyholders in this post.

Chastity For Love And The Long Haul

If you’re a guy in a relationship who has discovered chastity, you may be thinking it is about time to have a conversation with your wife or partner. You probably hope to introduce chastity to your partner and enlist her as your keyholder. I think having a wife or partner as the keyholder is the best of all possible circumstances for a chaste man. Being a keyholder is a responsibility, but keyholding can also be a lot of fun and a source of satisfaction for a keyholder. But, when you work up the nerve to talk with your partner to tell her all the wonderful things about this new world you’ve discovered, you may be shocked by her response.

First, your partner may have no idea what male chastity is or what it entails. If they are aware that chastity cages exist, and that some men wear them, their response may even be negative. Why? She may think chastity is only another kinky thing you found on the Internet you want to try—something completely unnatural, nothing she is the least bit interested in, not very sexy, kind of stupid, very stupid, and pointless. Can you blame her? After all, if you’re anything like lots of other guys and me, it probably won’t be the first time you have tried introducing her to some sex thing you found on the web. You know, something to spice up things in the bedroom a little.

Having The Chastity Conversation

As men, we tend to think in a logical, linear pattern when looking for a solution to a problem. Instinctively, our first thought is we can overcome our partner’s objections by telling her all the wonderful benefits chastity will give her. If she will only lock your penis in a chastity cage and take possession of the key, she will see an incredible transformation.

  1. You won’t be able to masturbate while watching porn anymore, which means you won’t watch so much porn since there won’t be any point.
  1. You will become so much more attentive, and you will care more deeply about her feelings and about what she wants.
  1. You won’t be able to cheat on her. Seriously? Who would say that?
  1. You will become more helpful around the house.
  1. You will become a more selfless lover.

I’ve even seen variations on this same approach suggested in chastity guides and on many online chastity sites. But, there is only one problem with this strategy. It doesn’t work. Please, don’t use any of those lame suggestions.

Think about it for a moment. Let’s assume your partner knows about your porn and masturbation habits because I’m confident she does. You will only remind her of something she probably not only dislikes but may even find hurtful. Maybe she believes you don’t find her sexually attractive enough any longer, so you get off watching porn and masturbating instead of having sex with her.

As far as all those other things, she won’t see those as benefits for her either. She will probably ask you why you aren’t already doing all those things. Your partner will want to know why you have to lock your dick inside some silly contraption to do all the things a caring partner would already be doing if he cared enough about her and the relationship. See where I’m going with this?

Indeed, chastity will probably motivate you to do every single one of those things on the above list. But, it will make more of an impact if she starts seeing those positive changes than you telling her how much better a partner you will be if she only agrees first to give you something you want.

A Better Strategy

Make it about her and her needs, not about you. After explaining that you have researched male chastity, and you are convinced chastity could make you a better person and partner. Then use talking points like this to tell her how you believe chastity could help you do that.

  1. Tell her that after much thought, you realize you need to learn to serve her better and to make her life easier.
  1. Explain that her guidance and constructive criticism on how you perform your share of the household chores would help you learn to become more attentive to her needs and desires.
  1. Let her know that wearing a chastity device would prevent you from wasting energy on masturbation, energy that you could devote to higher purposes like pleasing her.
  1. Share how wearing a chastity device will help you learn to give her more pleasure in the bedroom. Instead of being self-focused on your satisfaction and desires, chastity will help you learn to focus your energy on her happiness and desires. Her pleasure will become your pleasure.
  1. Be honest and explain that the thought of wearing a chastity device for her and having her take complete control of your sex life excites you. Help her understand your primary motivation is not just to wear a chastity device, but to wear a chastity device for her.

See how these points are more focused on your partner, not on just another urge or desire you want your partner to fulfill for you.

You’re not trying to trick your partner with this strategy. You’re only being honest. Using these suggestions shows that you are aware you have shortcomings you need to correct and that you sincerely want to become a better man and partner. But, you need to learn how to do that. You believe practicing male chastity will help you learn the things you need to learn to do a better job of pleasing and satisfying her and making her life better.


Thanks for reading. I hope found the information useful, and that you will return for The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, where I will offer practical tips and suggestions to single guys for finding a keyholder.

Is Long-Term Chastity Unhealthy?

Is long-term chastity unhealthy? In this post I want to look at that question. Here I’m not speaking of whether wearing a chastity device for extended periods might possibly affect the health or function of your penis (e.g., does it cause erectile dysfunction (ED), does in cause penis shrinkage, etc.). Little in the way of medical or scientific studies exist to answer those kind of questions. The truth is no one can give you definitive answers.

Instead our focus in on whether you should be concerned about the effects of going extended periods without orgasm or ejaculation. The short answer is no. But, we’re going to get into the physiology and processes behind male orgasm and ejaculation. Let’s see what science says about the benefits and risks of infrequent ejaculation.

The Male Orgasm

The major purpose of the male orgasm is to ejaculate sperm. Beyond producing pleasure, the role of the female orgasm is less clear, though some researchers believe it may help move the sperm closer toward the ovum (egg) to achieve fertilization.

The male ejaculate, semen, is comprised of sperm cells and seminal fluid, the latter of which contains phosphorylcholine (an enzyme that aids in fertility) and fructose (which provides fuel for sperm). The average volume of semen expelled by a healthy man is around a teaspoon.

Guys don’t need to worry that they will run out of sperm or semen no matter how many times they release semen in a day. The male body constantly produces sperm and stores them in your testicles. This is called spermatogenesis. A full cycle takes about 64 days. But your testicles produce several million sperm per day. That’s about 1,500 per second. With all this semen and sperm production going what happens when a chaste guy doesn’t come frequently?

What Happens To Unused Sperm

What happens to sperm if they aren’t ejaculated frequently? Whether or not you ejaculate has no effect on your overall sex drive or fertility. Unused sperm cells are simply reabsorbed by your body or released via nocturnal emissions. Although “wet dreams” are most common during puberty, they can happen at any time.

Medical science says it is unlikely that any significant health consequences occur as a result of not ejaculating. In fact, the quality of semen, and in particular the sperm in an ejaculate, is affected by the interval between ejaculations. That said, men with spinal cord injuries or other neurological disorders often may not ejaculate at all. In such cases when semen was collected via an electro-ejaculation technique, some of these men had inferior sperm quality when compared with normal ejaculate. Thus, infrequent orgasm and ejaculation could pose fertility concerns. Other than that, there is no conclusive evidence tying ejaculation frequency with health. The lack of ejaculation does not create any well-established negative health consequences.

Ejaculation Frequency And Prostate Health

There is a well-known 2016 study of almost 32,000 males that lasted from 1992 to 2010 that suggested ejaculating often (about 21 times a month) might lower the risk of prostate cancer.

However, the study used self-reported data. It’s impossible to know for sure whether study participant’s answers were truly accurate since they weren’t observed in a controlled clinical setting. People don’t always remember things with one-hundred percent accuracy.

A 2004 study with this same group of males didn’t find any significant link between frequency of ejaculation and risk of prostate cancer.

Even though the 2016 study gained more than 12 years of extra data, the study didn’t change at all. That’s why we can’t take these kinds of results at face value.

Takeaway

Is your keyholder not planning to allow you to orgasms and ejaculate for a while? That’s fine. Long-term chastity isn’t unhealthy.

Despite what some research has suggested, there’s very little real evidence that ejaculating a lot helps prevent prostate cancer.

Your keyholder should feel free keep you locked as long as she wants.

Male Chastity For Dummies

Please don’t take offense at the title, Male Chasity For Dummies. I don’t think you’re a dummy. I’m not calling anyone a dummy, least of all someone who has developed an interest in male chastity and is looking for information on how to get started.

male-chastity-for-dummies

The reason I chose the title is because of Google. When I started typing “male chastity” into the Google search bar, the algorithm suggested “male chastity for dummies.” I accepted the suggestion for that search term out of curiosity to see what links I’d get.

Did I get a link to a site or article titled “Male Chastity For Dummies?” Of course not. I did get links in the search results for stuff like “male chastity guide,” “male chastity for beginners,” “male chastity basics,” etc. Just no “male chastity for dummies.” That leads me to believe a whole lot of people have Googled that search term. I thought, what the heck. I’ll give them something to find next time.

Anyway, if you arrived here looking for some basic male chastity 101 information and advice, you’ve come to the right place.

First, let me tell you a little about me. In the summer of 2019, I came across a very entertaining site, written by a woman no less, about male chastity. I’d heard of it before, and I’d seen male chastity devices. I’d never found the idea particularly intriguing and had never contemplated buying a chastity device. But, something about the way the woman discussed male chastity and even encouraged guys to try it resonated with me. You might say she planted the seed.

I visited the site regularly for a few months after I’d stumbled onto it, but still wasn’t seriously thinking about buying a chastity device. But, by November 2019, I had become hooked on the idea of giving male chastity a try. I started looking for devices, and soon I ordered my first device.

I mention all this only to say I don’t consider myself some kind of chastity expert. I haven’t been wearing chastity devices for even a full year yet. Mr. Chastity, I’m not. However, I’ve learned a few things, mostly by trial and error, about male chastity and chastity devices. I feel I can competently help another interested new guy get started safely with chastity.

Male Chastity For Beginners

At its most basic, male chastity is the act of a guy locking his penis into a specially designed device that prevents him from having sex, masturbating, having orgasms, or even getting normal erections. Usually, the device you hear about is a steel or plastic tube or cage. As you may know, there is such a thing as a chastity belt, sort of like those from Medieval myths, and to a lesser extent, the Victorian era. But chastity belts are not nearly as widely used in male chastity as the devices some call “cock cages.”

I’m writing this post for guys who, like me not long ago, are just beginning to consider adding chastity to their sexual lifestyle. Specifically, those considering buying or who may have already recently acquired their first chastity device.

Male Chastity Cages Overview

The interest in chastity and chastity devices among males has skyrocketed in recent years. Part of the reason for that, I think, is because chastity devices have become more widely available and at significantly cheaper prices than ever before. Here I am speaking of mass-produced, off-the-shelf type devices, many of which are manufactured in foreign countries, China in particular.

I’m not trying to throw shade on the Chinese here. They are great people with a long and distinguished history. The thing is, they are not inventors. I’m pretty sure they haven’t invented anything original since gunpowder in the ninth century. But, what the Chinese excel at is taking the inventions of others, copying the designs, and then manufacturing and selling those products at significantly reduced prices in comparison to the originals. Sure, usually the quality isn’t high. But one thing the Chinese know. One heck of a lot of people buys stuff based on price. For some reason, the Chinese became interested in making chastity devices. So, Chinese manufacturers ginned up and flooded the market with cheap knockoffs of just about every chastity device that existed, including chastity belts. You can buy many of the cage devices for as little as $10-$15. Anyway, this situation is what I believe spurred the growth of interest in male chastity. It was no longer necessary for guys to spend $150-$200 to get into the game.

Guide To Male Chastity Devices

Chastity device design is straightforward, mostly because the design is based on the male anatomy. Most chastity devices consist of a ring (base ring) seated around the base of the penis behind the scrotum and a tube or penis cage that holds the penis. The two parts mate together with a hinge-like component or pin. The penis cage is designed so that the penis inside cannot be stimulated directly with hands and fingers.

The tip of the chastity device has one or more holes to allow urine to pass, and some designs incorporate vents to facilitate long-term wear and cleaning. The flaccid penis is inserted into the cage or tube and is held at a slight downward angle to make an erection uncomfortable or impossible. Some designs have an extra short cage into which the penis may be squeezed to restrict it even more. Other designs incorporate a tip covering the glans through which a catheter is fixed.

The base ring and cage are usually secured together with a lock, security screw, or a tamper-evident plastic security seal. When the device is locked, it traps the testicles in the gap between the ring and the penis tube or cage, which is narrow enough to prevent the testicles and penis from being pulled out. The testicles are usually held in a fixed position, exposed beneath the cage

Acquiring Your First Cock Cage

When looking to buy a chastity device, be aware that prices vary widely all over the web. Prices also depend on whether you buy an original device from a reputable manufacturer or retailer, or whether you buy from places like Amazon, eBay, or one of the similar Chinese online retailers. In any case, what you will almost always be buying from those sources is a device manufactured in China or some other foreign country. I don’t see a problem with doing that, as long as you’re discriminating. You will save money, and you can get an idea of whether chastity is something you are really interested in before paying serious money for a device. That was my approach at the beginning.

I would only urge you not to buy a Chinese knockoff of one of the popular name brand devices like The Holy Trainer or CB-6000. You can find them in abundance at the sites I mentioned for far less than the cost of the originals. But the quality is junk grade, and they are not durable. Most of the popular inexpensive stainless steel devices available from those retailers are of decent quality, and you can buy one for very little money that won’t immediately break or injure you. But, if you’re determined to get a device made from plastic, stick with the genuine devices. Trust me on this. It’s worth paying the difference.

My Recommendations For A First Chastity Device

If I had it to do over, I would have purchased one of the popular plastic devices to start with instead of the device I chose. The two I’d recommend are The Holy Trainer made by HolyTrainer Inc. or the CB-6000 made by CB-X. They are the two most popular devices in the world for beginners, and for good reasons.

The thing I like about the CB-6000, a device made from polycarbonate, is it comes with multiple base rings and spacers that allow you to experiment until you find the best fit. The downside is there are few choices when it comes to the length and inside diameter of the cage. The regular size cage is 3-1/4 inches in length, which for most guys is too long. We’re talking about flaccid penis length here. The CB-6000 comes in multiple colors.

There is a CB-6000S (small), which has a cage 2-1/2 inches in length. That’s going to be a better fit for most guys. Yeah, sadly, we aren’t all hung like porn stars. Both the regular and short versions come with an inside cage diameter of 1-3/8 inches. Again, this works for most guys. If you buy the CB-6000 directly from the manufacturer’s site, it retails for $159.95. Occasionally CB-X runs inventory sales as they were when this post was published, and they are priced at $99.95. Also, you can often find original CB-6000 devices for a little less from some of the online chastity device retailers. Just avoid buying units with “too good to be true” prices on eBay or other sites as you will get one of the inferior knockoff versions.

I give The Holy Trainer a slight nod over the CB-6000 only because it has a sleeker, more ergonomic design. Unlike the CB-6000, it comes with only one base ring. You must either order it with the right size for you or spend the money to buy extra rings. Instead of polycarbonate, The Holy Trainer is made from what the manufacturer calls bio-based resin, which they claim is hypoallergenic. The real advantage with the trainer is the five cage length options—1.41 inches, 1.55 inches, 1.75 inches, 1.95 inches, and 2.14 inches. Most guys will get a better fit with The Holy Trainer. Later I’ll explain why cage length is important. The internal diameter of the trainer’s cage is 33mm (1.3 inches) for all except the Maxi model, which is 34mm (1.4 inches). If you buy directly from the manufacturer’s website, expect to pay $165 for a transparent model or $185 for one of their twelve custom-colored models.

My advice is to visit both the CB-X website and the HolyTrainer, Inc. site. Compare features side-by-side and then decide which you believe would work best for you. There is only a $5 price difference, excluding sales.

Measure Before You Buy

No matter where you decide to buy your first device, measure yourself first. Even when purchasing a mass-manufactured, off-the-shelf device, knowing your measurements can prevent you from wasting money buying a device that won’t fit you. Rather than copy the information here, I recommend Mature Metal’s chastity device measuring guide, which you can find by clicking on this link.

Many online chastity device retailers now provide at least basic measurements on their product pages. You can check your measurements against those and end up with a better fitting device than you would get otherwise, though you probably won’t get an exact fit. As far as tube or cage length, as a rule of thumb, it is better to choose a length a little smaller than your measurement than a little longer. Some guys wind up with a half dozen chastity devices in their sock drawers they can’t wear before they finally find one that works. That’s because they didn’t bother with measuring. Don’t be that guy.

Safety Tips

Let’s be honest. The male genitals are not designed to have a plastic or steel tube device locked onto them. You can injure yourself playing with chastity. Listen to your body. Don’t try to power through it if you experience excessive discomfort or actual pain. Common sense is your most valuable ally here. If something feels wrong or looks wrong, it’s probably wrong. Remove the device, take a step back, and reassess. Take things slowly. As a few examples, your genitals should never feel numb, become blue or purple, or feel abnormally cold to the touch while wearing a chastity device. All those things are symptoms of impaired circulation, something you do not want.

How It All Works

The base ring goes around the base of your penis and scrotum. If you’ve never worn a solid cock ring, you put your balls into the ring first, one at a time. Then you put your flaccid penis into the ring where it will lie atop your balls. Then you connect the cage to the base ring to the tube or cage via a locking pin or hinge-like part depending on the model of chastity device you get. Some devices have some extra parts like spacers, which they explain how to use in the instructions that come with the device.

Erections

You may have heard or read on the Internet that chastity tubes and cages prevent erections. That’s so not true. They do inhibit erections but don’t stop them. If you look at some porn, read some erotica, or play with your wife or girlfriend, you will probably get attempted erections. Also, if you’re a reasonably healthy guy, you get from three to five erections at night while sleeping, which is called nocturnal penile tumescence. As a rule, these erections are purely a physiological phenomenon. You have no control over them. They are also typically more robust than those erections that occur randomly throughout the day when you’re thinking about sex. They can be very uncomfortable to experience at best. Some guys find them painful.

Erections are why a proper sized chastity tube or cage is so important. If you have extra space inside a cage or tube, either in diameter or length, it gives an erection more room to grow. Erections will then give you more problems, and that’s no bueno. Best case, your flaccid penis should touch the inside of the cage all around, and the tip should touch the end of the tube or cage.

Fit And Comfort

Remember when we agreed our genitals aren’t designed to be locked inside a chastity device? That means when it comes to fit and comfort, you must remember two things. Until you decide you’re ready for a custom-made chastity device built to your exact measurements, fit will never likely be perfect. You can only do your best to get a device as close to the ideal as possible.

There will always be the possibility of a little discomfort when wearing any chastity device, especially at the beginning. You should expect some amount of skin redness and tenderness, especially where the base ring contacts your scrotum. That’s because nearly all devices rotate a little to the left and right, and the friction irritates the tender skin of your genitals. Usually, over time your skin toughens up, and it ceases to be a real problem.

Discomfort is one thing. Pain is another. Wearing a chastity device should never make you want to reach for the Aleve bottle. If you experience pain, remove the device and don’t put it back on until you diagnose the problem.

Again over time, you should experience less and less discomfort to the point you sometimes almost forget you are wearing a chastity device. At least that has been my experience. If you are a guy who does not endure discomfort gladly, chastity ensured by a physical device, may not be for you.

Lubrication Is Your Friend

When you first start wearing a chastity tube or cage, use a good quality lubricant both to help get your penis into the tube correctly and between your skin and the base ring. However, avoid using any lubricants containing glycerin on your penis. Glycerin is a chemical substance closely related to sugar. Utilizing a lubricant containing glycerin on your dick inside a chastity tube is an invitation to yeast infections. Avoid using such lubricants. Instead, use something like body lotion. It absorbs well into the skin and will cut down on the friction inside the tube. You can also use what is called the “stocking method” to get your penis inside the tube or cage. If you click on this link, it will take you to a UK male chastity site called Tickleberry, where you will find the instructions for the method in text and images. I prefer this method as I don’t like using lubricant inside the cage or tube.

For lubricating the skin beneath the base ring, you can use either a silicone-based personal lubricant or baby oil. Baby oil is cheaper, but must be reapplied more often. Silicone lube costs more, but it’s odorless, and you don’t have to use much per application. Use a Q-Tip to apply the lubricant between the base ring and your skin.

Getting The Right Base Ring Fit

Here are a few more tips for getting the best possible fit with a base ring. Start with the same size ring as called for by your measurement. Often, but not always, this is the right size. You can check by seeing whether you can get a fingertip between the ring and your skin. One fingertip means the size is right. If you can’t get a fingertip between the ring and your skin, the ring is too small. If you can get two or more fingertips inside, the ring is too large. Other indications that the ring is too large is the weight of the tube pulls the base ring away from your body or, in some cases one of your genitals will escape from the base ring while the device is locked on.

Some guys believe you should wear the tightest ring you can get on. Not so. If a ring is too small and too tight, you will suffer continuous discomfort. Remember those overnight erections. They will feel even worse, and a ring that is too small could cut off circulation to your genitals when you get one of those. Also, a ring that is too tight puts too much compression on the tissues around your genitals, which could set you up for some permanent damage. You must find a happy medium where the ring is neither too large nor too small.

One final word on base rings. Cheaper devices, especially steel ones, come with only one base ring. And, you must choose from among only three standard sizes—1-1/2 inches, 1-3/4 inches, or 2 inches. For most, one of these sizes will probably work. But, if you order a device and find the base ring is too large or too small, it’s unlikely you can just order a different size ring. In almost all cases, you will have to order a whole new device.

Breaking In Your Chastity Device

During the first few days, you try wearing a device, remove it daily, and inspect your skin for excessive redness, abrasions, and tender spots. The skin around your genitals is unaccustomed to being squished by with hard plastic or steel. You will probably have a few hot spots. If you find any areas with excessive abrasions, broken skin, uncomfortable soreness, swelling, or excessive redness, leave the device off until everything heals and then try again. After a while, the tissue will toughen up, and these things will diminish. For minor redness and tenderness, just keep lubricating until you get past it.

In any event, the wisest approach is to wear the device for a few hours the first day, then gradually add a little more time each day until you become accustomed to more extended periods.

Once you find you can wear the device comfortably all day for at least two consecutive days with a minimum or acceptable level of discomfort, you can try sleeping while wearing it. Don’t expect to get much sleep for the first night or two. You’ll probably wake up several times and you may be in some pain when the overnight erections occur. The nighttime erections are something many guys have the hardest time getting past. But, usually, after three or four nights, once you can mostly sleep through the night without significant disturbances, things will get better.

The breaking in process might sound like it takes a long time. It can. For me, I’d say I was lucky. And I have a high threshold for discomfort. It took me only six or seven days to feel comfortable wearing a device, and I was able to sleep soundly without waking up after the third night of sleeping in the device. But, I’ve heard of guys trying to wear a chastity device for months who still couldn’t wear one for more than three or four days at a stretch.

The Chastity Lifestyle

If you plan to wear a chastity device 24/7, be aware it will impact your life in more ways than just only your sex life. Unless you find a genuinely comfortable device and have a tolerance for a little minor discomfort, the awareness you’re wearing a device will be almost constant.

Another thing is you must adjust to sitting on the toilet instead of standing whenever you must urinate. Regardless of how manufacturers design the urine outlet on almost every device, it’s rare that your urethral opening will ever be perfectly aligned with it. As a result, if you try to pee the way we are accustomed to doing it, the urine will end up going just about everywhere other than where you want it to go—on the floor, all over the toilet, on the wall, and yes, on your clothes.

The Chastity Bump

Wearing a chastity device will also probably impact your choice of clothing. Unless you don’t mind everyone you meet wondering whether you have a gun in your pocket or you’re just glad to see them, you must consider the best clothing options to conceal best the “chastity bump” produced by the device. As you might expect, pants with more room in the crotch will accomplish this better than tight pants. It might be time for you to consider “relaxed fit” jeans over the regular cut. Also, you may find low rise pant styles won’t offer enough room in the crotch. The chastity bump aside, they may just be uncomfortable to wear with a chastity device.

Underwear is another part of your wardrobe you may have to reconsider. Boxers are more comfortable since they allow the device to move more freely. But, they won’t help with concealment. Tight, brief-style underwear does the best job with hiding the device but can be more uncomfortable, especially when sitting. Be aware, going commando is the worst option. First, the device and its contents get no support, which will become uncomfortable. Also, the seams of some pants and shorts can be rough on the unprotected skin of your scrotum.

I’ve found almost all my pants and shorts telegraph that I’m wearing a device. Some just aren’t as obvious about it. Many devices have a lower profile than others. In some cases, even if people notice the chastity bump, they may only assume you’re a little better endowed than you actually are. At any rate, my last suggestion on clothing and concealment is to just get over it. It isn’t possible to completely conceal most devices all the time. Sure, we all remember the embarrassment of the spontaneous boners when we were going through puberty. But, chastity bumps aren’t nearly that bad. Besides, we aren’t going through puberty anymore. So, just let your freak flag fly. It’s no one’s business that you’re wearing a chastity device. It’s just another lifestyle choice, and it’s perfectly legal.

A Final Word On Sleeping

As mentioned previously, sleeping while wearing a chastity device can be the part of living the lifestyle that is most difficult to adjust to for many guys. I can only say it will get easier; the more experience you gain with doing it.

While I acclimated to sleeping in a chastity device fairly easily, I still remember the first night. I woke three times with a full tube, a tight scrotum, and a little burning sensation beneath the ring behind my ball sack. The tighter your sack at the beginning, the more you will probably experience that discomfort. The good news is the situation will eventually resolve itself if you wear a device long enough. Over time you find your scrotum will actually stretch and hang lower even when you’re not wearing a device. Your body also adjusts to the sensations caused by the base ring when you have erections. I suppose your brain just gets used to it and stops sending you the pain signals.

Experiment with different sleep positions until you find the one that feels most comfortable for you. Intuitively, you might think sleeping on your back is the best. But, I’ve found lying on my side, with my bottom leg more or less straight, and my top leg spread a little forward and bent at the knee works the best for me. My package rests on the bed between my legs and doesn’t cause me any problems. After the first few nights, things will get better. After my first week, the nocturnal erections stopped waking me. Now I usually sleep fine.

The Fantasy Of Total Security

Here’s the unvarnished truth about total security: When it comes to ball-trapping chastity devices, complete security is only a fantasy. Any guy with the will can find a way to escape from a chastity device while it is locked if he wants to escape badly enough. You should look at a chastity device as a deterrent to accessing your penis, and not like it’s Fort Knox.

If you feel you require, for whatever reason, to have absolutely no ability to get to your penis, then any ball-trapping device alone will never do that for you. Let’s face it, living the chastity life means you need more than a chastity device. You must also have a little will-power, self-control, and respect for your keyholder (if you have one).

All chastity devices can be defeated. Depending on how well or poorly a device is fitted to you, some can be overcome quite easily. For one thing, most are secured by a tiny padlock, and most guys probably have several different tools in their toolbox that can easily cut them off. That said, there is one way to make most ball-trapping devices more secure.

In the name of more security, some guys get the popular male genital piercing called the Prince Albert (PA). The PA is a “ring-style” piercing that extends along the underside of the glans from the urethral opening to where the glans meets the shaft of the penis. Many chastity devices today accommodate PA piercings. The ring through the piercing is attached either inside the device where the device user can’t access it once the device has been locked on or using an external lock or locking cable. That means a wearer cannot withdraw his penis from the device without ripping out a chunk of flesh that isn’t ever going to grow back. Getting a PA just for chastity is sort of a big deal. Depending on the guy, this piercing can take from four weeks to six months to heal. It isn’t something I’d ever want. But, I’m not a body piercing kind of guy to start with. I mean, it’s fine for other people if they want them. Piercings just aren’t my thing. But, a lot of chaste men get them.

Chastity & Hygiene

One of the more important aspects of male chastity is practicing good hygiene, especially for those who choose a device with an enclosed tube. Otherwise, if you’re not careful, after some wear time, the smells emanating from your chastity tube may remind of the odors you remember from that particularly nasty public restroom you visited that time. You must do daily cleaning as best you can while wearing the device. Also, at regular intervals, you should remove the device for a thorough cleaning.

Daily Hygiene

If you have a device with an open-type cage, you will find keeping the contents of your cage clean much easier. That is the type of device I usually wear. I have no problems keeping the contents of my cage clean and smelling April fresh using just soap and a detachable shower head. I’m confident I could wear my usual device indefinitely without ever removing it for a thorough cleaning. I am circumcised. If you aren’t, then you will probably need to remove your device once a week for cleaning, even if it is a cage-type.

Enclosed tube devices are different. A detachable shower head won’t be enough, and you must get soap down inside the tube. Many guys use a squirt bottle with a long tip they can insert between the skin and the inside of the tube, and up through the urination opening to clean the tip of the penis. The squirt bottle can be used both to apply soapy water and to rinse afterward. Just mix a little antibacterial soap with warm water inside the container. Once you’ve finished washing, refill the bottle with plain warm water and rinse. The inside of a tube device can become dirtier than you might imagine, even after a single day. Tubes, even more than cages, trap sweat, small amounts of urine, pre-ejaculate fluid sometimes, and dead skin cells. If you don’t stay on top of personal hygiene, you could end up with some funky bacteria growing inside the tube, along with some awkward, unpleasant odors.

Weekly Cleaning

Once a week, if you wear a tube-style device, you should remove it, and clean your genitals thoroughly. Then wash the device completely with hot soapy water. Weekly cleanings are also a good time to shave or trim your pubic hair. Once the device is completely dry, you can put it back on and lock it up. This same advice applies to guys who are uncircumcised and wear cage-type devices.

More Resources

If this post has whetted your appetite for even more information about male chastity, please consider grabbing a copy of my book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Male Chastity. I attempted to make the book a comprehensive male chastity guide or male chastity handbook with all the information a beginner needs in one place. It also includes information for new keyholders. The paperback version is available on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble. The eBook version will be available exclusively on Amazon starting July 14, 2020, and if you’re a Kindle Unlimited subscriber, you will be able to read the book free. You can learn more about the book here on this website, or by visiting the paperback version book page on Amazon where you can read a free excerpt.


Coming soon—Finding a Chastity Keyholder For Dummies

Mature Metal’s Watchful Mistress Review

While updating the chastity device reviews page, it dawned on me that I’ve never written a Watchful Mistress review for my workhorse Mature Metal chastity device. Since this is the only custom-made device I own at present, that’s inexcusable. So, I’m going to remedy that right now.

I’ve worn the device for almost five months now, so I feel well-positioned to give my opinion.

Intro

At the start, I can tell you unequivocally that there is no comparison to wearing a custom-made device and wearing a mass-manufactured, off-the-the-shelf one. It’s like comparing a Cadillac to a Chevrolet Spark. The Spark may get you from point A to point B, but the ride will not be nearly as enjoyable.

My Watchful Mistress, one of the five models currently offered by Mature Metal, looks like a work of art. It’s impossible to exaggerate the fine craftsmanship and quality that Mature Metal puts into their products. It’s lightweight, and it has a consistent gap all around, which I love.

Meet The Watchful Mistress

watchful-mistress

The Watchful Mistress is another standard ball-trapping device that comes in three parts.

  1. Base ring
  2. Open-style stainless-steel cage
  3. Lock (Abus padlock or security screw)

 

Mature Metal offers base rings in fifteen sizes, from 1-1/4 inches up to 3-inches. You have a choice between round and the more ergonomic oval-shaped base rings.

I went with the round base rings. Besides ordering the size my measurements called for, I also invested in two extra base rings in 1/4-inches increments smaller. It turns out it was a good decision. While I can wear any of the rings with the device, the smallest ring I ordered fits me best. Double base rings are also available at an additional cost.

I really love how the Watchful Mistress fits me perfectly, both concerning length and cage inside diameter. The tip of my penis sits flush against the tip of the cage, making urination a less iffy proposition. I went with the 1-3/8 inches inside diameter, which feels perfect for me. My flaccid penis fills the cage with no extra space, but without any sensations of the cage feeling overly tight. With this cage, I have not once had a problem with overnight, spontaneous attempted erections.

You can select from fourteen different cage inside diameter measurements when ordering the Watchful Mistress—from 1-inch to 2-inch at 1/8-inch increments. You can order the cage in lengths from 1-1/2 inches up to 5-inches, with fifteen options offered at 1/4-inch increments.

Mature Metal offers two locking options—Abus padlock or security screw. Be aware that the Abus padlock has a larger diameter hasp than most comparable small padlocks. If you choose the padlock option, Mature Metal drills the hole in the connecting pin just a tiny bit larger than the lock’s hasp. As a result, it’s a tight fit. That means using another padlock you may have lying around won’t give you the same fit, and that can cause problems.

Frankly, I didn’t understand why they made the fit between the lock hasp and pinhole so tight. I first assumed it was to minimize the lock rattling around and the resultant noise you get with some steel devices. That may be part of the reason, but not all.

The way the lock fits tightly in the pinhole also helps keep the device in the proper position when worn by limiting the normal rotation to the left and right you get with most every ball trapping device with a round base ring. When you move or walk, sit or stand up, the base ring, and consequently, the entire device tends to turn a bit from on center. When I substituted a lock with a smaller hasp for the Abus, the device rotated far more readily than any other steel device I’ve worn. It turns so much it can actually get your scrotum in such a bind it can be majorly uncomfortable.

At the moment, I’m wearing the device with a plastic numbered lock since I have a long-distance keyholder and am experiencing the same problem I just described. It gets annoying because it can wake you at night when your scrotum gets all twisted up in the device. Also, every time you have the urge to urinate, you must first adjust the device to its proper position.

I don’t consider the excessive rotation problem a defect. It’s more that the device is designed for use with a particular lock. I expect the security screw provides the same function as the Abus lock though I’ve not tried that locking option. At any rate, the device simply doesn’t stay in the correct alignment if you try substituting some other padlock or a plastic lock for the Abus.

Fit

The fit of the Watchful Mistress is phenomenal, and the measurements are exactly what I ordered. My device has an inside diameter of 1-3/8 inches, a length of 2-1/4 inches, and a 3/8-inch ring to cage gap. You can order the device with a 1/4-inch, 3/8-inch, or 1/2-inch gap. Since there is no good way to measure yourself for the gap, Mature Metal recommends the 3/8-inch gap for most guys. But, if that turns out too tight, or not tight enough, you can send it back for an adjustment.

There is an excellent measuring guide at Mature Metal for all aspects that worked perfectly for me.

Comfort

When worn with the Abus lock, I find the Watchful Mistress satisfyingly comfortable. It is a stainless steel device, so you feel the weight, but this is the lightest weight steel device I’ve ever worn. It has a low profile and doesn’t produce a noticeable “chastity bump” with anything I’ve worn with it. It’s perfect for long-term wear. I expect I could wear the device indefinitely with no problems.

Security

The Watchful Mistress is as secure as any well-made ball trapping device. I haven’t tried to escape from mine while locked, but it feels plenty secure to satisfy me. It certainly won’t ever fall off of its own accord as long as you’ve got a correctly sized base ring and gap.

Hygiene

Hygiene, something I won’t compromise on, is another place the Watchful Mistress truly shines. The open design makes keeping things clean a snap. Using a handle-held shower head, I’m able to give the cage contents a very thorough cleaning. The other thing is the spacing of the bars at the end of the cage means urination isn’t a problem. As long as the device is aligned correctly, I can easily stand and pee normally while wearing this device. I give the device top ratings in the hygiene category.

Recommendations

Overall, the Watchful Mistress is a quality-made, hand-crafted device that won’t disappoint. I can give it my unreserved recommendation to those looking for a quality stainless steel chastity device. It performs its intended purpose like a champ and looks good while doing it. While I’ve always liked Mature Metal’s flagship model, the Jail Bird, I think the looks of the Watchful Mistress are a little more aesthetically pleasing, and it retails for only $50 more than the Jail Bird.

In the realm of custom-made, steel chastity devices, Mature Metal is one of the most affordable options. I also like the fact that I can send my device back anytime I want any modifications done. They can adjust every aspect of the device except for the internal diameter of the cage. So, make sure you get that measurement correct before ordering.

Beyond being a very satisfied customer, I have no other affiliation with Mature Metal. I purchased the reviewed device using my own funds, and this review represents my own honest opinions.

You can find my other chastity device reviews here on the Male Chastity Device Reviews page.

The Surrendering Control Part Of Male Chastity

While I’m still learning about all the reasons I feel such a strong attraction to it, I do know I like the inherent surrendering control part of male chastity. Not just yielding control, but the awareness of the power of the keyholder over me, the feel of her control over me, and the way she manipulates control itself.

Male chastity associations are control-sensitive relationships. I’ve always been intrigued by anything that has to do with the transfer of control to or from someone. In this post, I want to explore control within the framework of male chastity by looking at what transpires when you relinquish control of your sexual desire to a keyholder by submitting to her locking your penis inside a chastity device and taking possession of the keys.

Fantasies Fulfillment

Many men who desire a keyholder to lock them in a chastity device are consciously seeking out opportunities to enact pleasurable fantasies of being sexually controlled. It can be a temporary escape from the tensions and responsibilities of daily life. The period of submission is, in effect, a time when you can cast aside many worldly obligations, societal expectations, and gendered norms, a time of surrender and receptivity to the stimulus that a keyholder bestows. You don’t have to make decisions. There are no distractions to reduce the intensity of perception.

When a guy wears a chastity device for a keyholder, it permits him to explore absolute powerlessness in a safe context, knowing that no actual harm will occur and that he will not be condemned or ridiculed. For me, submission in chastity is not about being passive or giving in to the will of another because I’m weak. It’s about voluntarily turning over my power to someone else.

Erotic Coercion

Chastity is a form of erotic coercion, a term, that within the context of male chastity, refers to a keyholder forcing a chaste male to do something which he protests and which may be fundamentally humiliating. At the same time, this sense of coercion is precisely what makes the experience arousing.

Coercion scenarios depend on the chaste male’s ability to enter into the fantasy and to feel his keyholder is forcing him to accept something, even if that something is exactly what he craves. It might only mean being forced to surrender control over his sexual desire to a keyholder. For some, it might mean fully surrendering to his keyholder and doing things to make me her happy, more or less worshiping her like a goddess. Worship is a supreme romantic surrender and opportunity to display humility and devotion.

The surrendering control part is what does it for me. How about you? What is the draw of male chastity for you?

CB-6000 Review Coming Soon

Note from Chaste: The following post has been updated with a link to the CB-6000 review.

So, CB-X has this inventory clearance sale going. I ordered a device. In the next week or so, I’ll be sharing a CB-6000 review.

My very first chastity device was a CB-6000 knock-off that some foreign manufacturer had made from stainless steel. I bought it because I liked the look and wanted a steel device. But it never worked for me since it didn’t come with the multiple spacers and base rings CB-X provides with the genuine polycarbonate article.

The thing came with only one base ring and one spacer. One of the other of my balls would pop after I wore the thing for an hour or two, then it would fall off. Being totally new to chastity devices at the time, I didn’t realize it, but the problem was the gap between the base ring and tube was too wide for me. I’ve always thought it might have worked if I’d only had the extra ring and spacer options.

Having read Thumper’s CB-6000 review, I’m not expecting much. Though I’ve never met him, I have tremendous respect for Thumper. I’ve always found his insightful blog such a valuable resource. I think he did an excellent job with pointing out the CB-6000’s significant flaws—”a hard-edged A-ring that is uncomfortable, unnecessary side vents that lead to flesh bulging through, lack of an ergonomic shape.” In Thumper’s opinion, the CB-6000 is “a relic from another era.”

I don’t doubt the accuracy of anything Thumper wrote in his review of the device. But, for a couple of reasons, I wanted to try the CB-6000 and review it. First, despite its shortcomings, the CB devices were the first popular mass-produced chastity devices. And, a lot of guys still choose the CB-6000 as their first device, though it seems The Holy Trainer has since eclipsed it in popularity as a trainer. And, frankly, I’m a curious sort of fellow who will try anything once. Getting a CB-6000 at a time when I could save thirty bucks on the genuine device seemed as good a time as any to buy one and give it a test drive.

Hopefully, the device will show up sometime this upcoming week. I’ve already worked it out with my keyholder to switch over to it for a few days to review it. So, for anyone thinking about getting a CB-6000, soon you will have another review to consider.

Until now, all but one of my reviews have been on steel chastity devices, so it seems time to do a few on the plastic ones. I’ll probably review The Holy Trainer next. After that, I have my eye on another custom-made steel device I want to try.

Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do

It’s been a while since it happened, but Lady Jayne and I parted company. I’ve thought of posting about it before but didn’t feel ready. Even thinking about it made me feel sad. Breaking up with your keyholder is hard to do.

 

 

I beg of you, Goddess, don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our chastity contract another try?
Come on, Goddess, let’s start anew
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do.

 

Bluer Than Blue

But, I think I’m past it now. It seems a little weird that you can find yourself so attached to someone you really don’t even know. But it happens. At least, it did to me. I also felt that LJ and I had formed a friendship. She was definitely more to me than just a distant, online keyholder.

The problem was it became apparent we just weren’t on the same page. I hadn’t had any releases since our first month together. Well, that’s what chastity is about, some may say. Well, yes, it is. The thing is it became apparent to me from things LJ told me that her plan for me was permanent chastity. That’s something I aspire to someday, but I’m not ready for it yet.

Besides no orgasm opportunities, there were—no ruined orgasms, no instructions to do prostate milking, and few teasing assignments. I wasn’t even allowed any solo attempts at teasing without instructions. As a result, my arousal dipped lower and lower until it felt like it sort of flat-lined.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but that doesn’t work for me. Unless I can sustain heightened arousal, chastity just isn’t fun or meaningful. It starts to feel like a chore for which there is never any reward.

I hung on as long as I could, but one day, I knew it was time to throw in the towel. So, I asked to be released from our contract and fulfilled the cancellation obligation stipulated in the contract. We exchanged a couple more messages, and that was it.

It was clear she wasn’t happy about me quitting, even though I carried out all my responsibilities with the hope of ending things on a positive note. I suppose I understand that. Maybe she felt she had wasted her time on me. And, I think she may have taken my decision to quit as criticism of her as a keyholder, though it wasn’t like that all.

LJ, I believe, was the best keyholder I could have found for my first time in chastity. She was knowledgeable, experienced, and caring. In the beginning, I really thought we would be together for a very long time.

I don’t place any responsibility for my decision to quit on her. It was all me. I think I just needed more from her than she could give. LJ doesn’t make her living from keyholding. It’s only a side gig doing something she enjoys. And, she is very popular in online keyholding circles. She holds keys for a lot of guys. So, she simply doesn’t have enough hours in a day to give every guy as much personal attention as he might want or feel he needs.

Without regular teasing assignments and her prohibition against me doing anything on my own, I just couldn’t sustain the level of arousal to stay with the program. I became irritable all the time, and that just wasn’t fair to the people who must deal with me daily in the real world.

Though I was unhappy about quitting LJ, I never felt I was abandoning chastity. It is something I think benefits me. I took a few days to reset and re-calibrate, and then I started self-locking. That was okay for a while, but solo chastity is hard and not that much fun. It wasn’t long until I started searching for another keyholder, and found one. She locked me for the first time last week.

A New Keyholder

At the moment, we’re doing a two-week trial before discussing something more long-term. I must say, the difference so far for me has been like night and day. While I don’t have daily contact with my new keyholder as I did with LJ, she gave me teasing assignments at the start to do twice daily over the entire two-week period. That’s been the difference. The tasks keep my head bumping against the ceiling of heightened arousal, and I’m getting the steady drip of dopamine that most of us chaste guys crave. I couldn’t believe how quickly the first week has passed for me.

It’s not at all that I feel my current keyholder is better than LJ. She is just different and has a different way of going about things. It’s too early to say whether she will LJ’s permanent replacement, but I’ve been more than happy with the way things have gone so far. During my search for a new keyholder, I had found several potential keyholders who intrigued me. So, I still have options. But I’m leaning towards doing a full month with the woman holding my keys right now before I consider trying someone else. Only a little more time will tell if we’re a good long-term fit.

So, I’m back in the saddle for now, and I’m going to borrow an idea from pcguy, the blogger at Thrill Of The Chaste. He has a page on his site where you can see his current status—lock or unlocked. I love that idea, so I’m putting a similar page on my website. Just look for the tab in the menu, My Current Status, if you want to check mine.

LJ was great, and I’m sure I’ll continue missing her. I’ll miss the great chats we used to have and doing my best to please her. But life is about change. And usually, things happen the way they do because that’s the way they were supposed to happen.

Thanks for reading. I’ll keep you updated on the developments with my new keyholder.