31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

I was aware of chastity devices for years before buying my first one. While I’m unsure how many years, I recall seeing the CB-2000 chastity device first showing up on sex toy retailer websites, and the company who made it has been in business for almost twenty-five years. Already involved in BDSM back then, I knew about orgasm control and denial, but hadn’t experienced it. So, chastity devices, while I found them curious, just weren’t something I had any great interesting in trying. I had divorced by then and having some of the best sex of my adult life. Trading that for wearing a plastic tube locked on my penis that would prevent me from having sex just wasn’t something that sparked any interest.

Shortly after I discovered chastity devices, I found Thumper’s blog, Denying Thumper, maybe about a year after he started the blog. I believe he started with the CB-2000, but since I’m too lazy to research it and relying on my memory, I could be wrong about that. Anyway, I followed the blog pretty regularly over the years and while I found Thumper’s experiences hugely interesting, it never motivated me to try wearing a chastity device since, well, I was having the best sex of my life back then, remember? And with a lot of different attractive women.

It’s not that I was a hedonist. But after spending more than a decade married to a woman who didn’t enjoy sex much and didn’t much care how much I enjoyed it, I was like a kid in a candy store. Eventually, the novelty of discovering for the first time that women could actually orgasm, some of them multiple times, during PIV sex, wore off. I began to settle down and soon confined my sexual experiences to long-term relationships. I had a series of those over the years. But mostly because I wasn’t looking to get married again, they all fizzled after a few years, and I would be on to the next relationship. I’ve actually always preferred relationships to casual sex because I just have to have feelings of affection for a woman at least on some level to desire having sex with her. I’m more a love than lust kind of guy.

Eventually, I met the woman who I felt certain was “the one.” She suited me in every way and we had a fantastic relationship. Until we didn’t. I was even coming around to the idea of trying marriage again and we had discussed it sometimes. But being quite a few years younger than me, she decided one day that she wasn’t ready to settle down and I experienced the most painful end of a relationship in my life. I had two more relationships with wonderful women after that, but after “the one” I knew I just had nothing left to give to another woman. It was then that my curiosity about chastity resurfaced.

I was still following Thumper’s blog and one day I just thought, why not try chastity and see what it’s all about? So, I ordered my first chastity device. That was four years ago, and by then there were heaps of new, inexpensive off-the-shelf devices available. You could even buy them on Amazon. Having no experience with wearing a device, I knew immediately I needed some direction, so I searched for and found my very first online keyholder. I never considered anything but online because I had no interest in getting into another relationship at that time and didn’t know that I’d ever want another relationship. And I found the perfect online keyholder, the woman I called Lady Jayne when I first started this blog.

Jayne was perfect for me because she was extremely knowledgeable about chastity devices and chastity training. She put me through a thirty-day “bootcamp” and by the end of it I was wearing a device 24/7. Of course, the first device I bought, and that we started with was horrific and she helped me find one that worked. We developed chemistry during that first thirty days and she continued as my keyholder and helped me choose my first Mature Metal custom-fitted device. And that’s how I got hooked on chastity. It has become such an important part of my life I can’t even imagine my life without it now.

Almost everyone discovers at some point a sexual fetish that turns them on. Some people discover their fetishes at a young age, while others do not know they are there until presented with a catalyst, something that makes them realize some specific thing or act arouses them. I suppose in the beginning, chastity devices were simply a fetish for me I wanted to explore. But now that chastity, especially chastity enforced by a dominant woman, means a great deal more to me than the satisfaction of a sexual fetish.

The benefit of hindsight helps me to understand, at least to some extent, other kink experiences that helped drive my interest in chastity. Since the days when I was actively involved in my then local kink community, I have known that I felt a keen attraction to dominant women. Whether I didn’t know it or only suppressed it for years, my first keyholder, and especially Lucie, made me understand and acknowledge the submissive nature I have. I’ve since realized it isn’t something I have control over, though I can suppress it. And now I realize it is a need that I will always want to fulfill with a dominant woman partner.

I have since realized in the past that I have resigned myself to experiencing a sex life that always left me longing for more. The need to submit to a Domme is a part of who I am at my core and not something I can just forget about. So, I think that is what drives my interest in chastity, the F/m dominant/submissive dynamic, more so than any specific fetish or kink I may enjoy and there are many. But interestingly, those kinks I find most interesting and meaningful all support the chastity experience and the inherent tease and denial aspect of it.

That sums how I got into chastity, and what I think most motivated me to explore it. I hope you will tune in again tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4 when I will respond to this question:

Did you ask a partner to lock you in chastity, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.