Question for the women. Is he masturbating instead of having sex with you? If so, there is an easy fix you need to know about.
The other morning I saw this posted on Twitter—
3 women have emailed me a complaint that their men spend hours in the other room watching porn and masturbating. One of them even tried to convince her husband to watch porn together but he refused.
Not long ago, I read this, which was posted by a woman on a men’s health magazine website forum—
Why does my boyfriend masturbate when he could have sex with me instead? Just got home and found the wet spot on the covers..asked him and he denied it…made me mad that he lied about it. He said it’s embarrassing. He said that all men do it. Why does he do it when he has me? Is his hand better than having a girlfriend? He says no it just happens. Can guys get an erection for no reason at all? Confused and kinda hurt about this. Need answers!
It seems a lot of wives and girlfriends out there are freaking out that their partners are masturbating all the time instead of having sex with them. My question is this. Then why aren’t more women interested in locking up their partner’s cock in a chastity cage? It’s an easy fix. Lock up their cocks. Instead of so many guys begging their wives and girlfriends to put them in chastity, you would think it would be women insisting on it.
What Some Women May Not Know About Guys and Masturbation
Men and women have very different sex drives. While I don’t believe the myth that guys are constantly thinking about sex, it is true, generally speaking, that it’s a lot easier for guys to get in the mood.
Take something as innocuous as a guy working at home on his computer. He takes a break to check his Twitter feed and an image of a gorgeous woman showing off her bare breasts pops up. Believe me that is far from unusual on Twitter these days. The platform is literally overrun with sex workers hawking their “fans only” nude photos and film clips for sale on the site. Nothing wrong with that, but on Twitter on any given day, you can see everything from shapely female bare butts, to bare breasts, and even people having sex while checking your feed. Twitter is fast becoming as NSFW as Pornhub. But I digress. The next thing you know, the guy is off Twitter perusing Pornhub and jerking off when he wasn’t even thinking about sex until the boobs popped up on Twitter.
Suffice to say, it’s quite normal for guys to masturbate regularly. For some men it can be once a day, for others two or more times a day, and for still others maybe somewhere between seven and fourteen times a day. Some guys wank to relieve stress or to get to sleep faster, like jerk-off NyQuil. Some do it when they are bored.
Not All Masturbation is Bad
I don’t regard masturbation as the great evil. For couples with a healthy relationship and a happy sex life there can still be a place for self-pleasure as long as it doesn’t detract from the relationship.
For example, if a guy’s partner has a lower sex drive, then masturbating more often can help bridge the libido gap. Or say, you jump into the shower when getting ready for work and feel the urge to knock one out. It’s probably not an instance in which your partner would even want to have sex with you anyway.
But, unfortunately, frequent masturbation can detract from a relationship even if it isn’t a situation where a man stays up for hours watching porn and masturbating with no regard for his partner’s needs.
When Masturbation Becomes Problematic
Masturbation can be problematic for a relationship when it depletes a guy’s libido to the extent he loses interest in having sex regularly with his partner. Some women are lucky enough to have a partner who devotes his sexual energies exclusively to her, fulfilling her desires as completely as he possibly can. But others are less fortunate.
Some have partners who overindulge when it comes to masturbation. And, once a guy has ejaculated and his sexual urges have been satisfied, we know what happens. He becomes less interested in pleasing his partner and far from enthusiastic about helping out around the house.
As guys know, a man’s body chemistry changes after orgasm. The biochemical prolactin is released, physically altering his body and making him feel sluggish and tired. The release of the chemicals oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid (GABA) and endorphins all contribute to the infamous “roll over and snore” feeling.
What Too Many Women Don't Understand About Chastity
Many Don’t See the Point
First, I think too few women even know about male chastity, or at least don’t know enough about it to understand how they would benefit from caging their man’s penis. They don’t realize how easily they could take away their man’s ability to masturbate and make it so that his orgasms were entirely at their discretion.
When a woman controls exactly how and when her partner is allowed to come, he quickly becomes so desperate for release that he will do whatever it takes to win her favor. As the sole arbiter of his sexual needs, he won’t dare to intentionally do anything to displease her because he is entirely at her mercy. Only she can relieve the burning, consuming frustration. Under those circumstances, a guy will be sure to start putting her satisfaction first knowing that’s his only chance of getting his desires for relief satisfied.
They Think It’s Only a Kink Thing
Some women know a little about male chastity and may even be familiar with cock cages. But they have a faulty perception. They think male chastity is nothing but a kink that is all wrapped up with Female-led relationships, BMSM, or porn. Since many aren’t the whip-cracking dominatrix-types willing to dress in latex corsets and stilettos, nor do they have any interest in taking complete control in the relationship, they aren’t interested in male chastity. They don’t understand that male chastity can be seamlessly introduced into an otherwise vanilla relationship where neither partner has a kinky bone in their bodies.
They Believe Chastity Means a Sexless Relationship
Still other women, women who enjoy PIV sex, think locking up their guy’s penis means they have do without. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. A woman might have her partner wear a chastity device for a few hours as a prelude to some erotic action in the bedroom, guaranteeing she gets his full attention as he strives to satisfy her needs before being able to fulfill his own. Having him wear a cock cage for a few days or a week gives her partner plenty of time to anticipate what may be forthcoming, allowing his passions to be stoked into a frenzy. Getting her partner all fired up by teasing him sexually during this time can strengthen the intimate bonds between them, and is all the more effective since he is helpless to resist. The woman holding the key gets to decide when, how, and how often her needs get satisfied and her satisfaction will always come first. Chastity stops a man from masturbating or otherwise pleasuring himself without her permission and that alone can benefit a woman in ways she might hardly imagine.
There are plenty of ways to incorporate male chastity into a relationship. It doesn’t always have to be permanent or even long-term to be beneficial. While I suspect it is mostly men who visit Cut to the Chaste, I always hope some women are also visiting this site and are learning more about how locking up a guy’s cock can be massively beneficial for them and their relationships. We can help get the word out by directing the women in our lives to resources that accurately portray what male chastity is all about. One excellent resource is Krystine Kellogg’s excellent podcast where she discusses male chastity from the female point of view.
I’m confident that the more women who come to understand male chastity and its benefits for them and their relationships, the more who will not only embrace it, but will insist on it with their partners.