Lucie Archives - Cut to the Chaste

Going Into Locktober Locked and Denied, Just Like Every Other Day

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I learned from Lucie this morning that I would go straight into Locktober locked and denied, without a release. Just like every other day. And I actually felt better about it than I had expected.

During our chat this morning, Lucie asked me this question.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how desperate are you to have an orgasm before starting Locktober?”

Weirdly, although I’ve felt pretty desperate for about the past week, I found I had to think about it for a moment before answering. I discovered I was feeling a little like Natalie Imbruglia again.

“I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things
That I can’t touch. I’m torn.”
— “Torn,” song by Natalie Imbruglia

After 83 days caged and 149 days orgasm-free, I realized what a contented place I was in. Finally, I told Lucie I would rate my desperation level at about 6.

She said, “But you’ve been saying for days your arousal and frustration are at peak levels?”

I told her that was still true. But when I thought about how pleasurable the state of constant arousal feels and how intensely submissive it makes me feel, I just wasn’t sure I felt all that desperate to trade it all for a few seconds of pleasure. After all, we had spent weeks and weeks getting me to this point and, for just a few fleeting moments of pleasure, I would have to start all over again.

She thought about that for a moment and then said, “Those are precious feelings.” She smiled and continued. “Indeed, it would be a shame to jerk it all away from you.”

Then she decided. I would go straight into Locktober without a release. I felt strangely at peace with her decision.

Men, including me, think of sexual pleasure in terms of their orgasms. Understandable since orgasms feel good. But the more time I spend locked in chastity, especially since meeting Lucie, experiencing those short moments of jouissance, those brief spasms of ecstasy, just don’t seem so important anymore. I’ve begun to wonder if Lucie hasn’t led me to discover an entirely new perspective on sexual pleasure? Perhaps she has permeated every aspect of my sexuality to where physical pleasure for me now looks like pleasure for Lucie.

Of course, Lucie would have decided alone about whether I got an orgasm before Locktober. I would not have had any real input in the decision. And yet I feel certain Lucie would have given my feelings some consideration or she wouldn’t have asked me the desperation question. If I had said my desperation level was a 10, that doesn’t mean she would have allowed me an orgasm. But I got the impression I had pleased her with my answer and explanation and that felt like an achievement.

Once she told me I wouldn’t get an orgasm before Locktober, I said, only half-jokingly, “Maybe you should just cum for both of us from now on, Mistress.”

Lucie smiled again and said, “I already do.”

locktober

Prepping for Locktober

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Only twelve days remain before the start of the holy month of Locktober, the crown jewel of male chastity. In less than two weeks, determined (or forced) penis owning humans everywhere hope to be on their metal as they face the annual 31-day crucible that will reveal whether they possess the classical virtue of fortitude — or not. Whoever takes part in Locktober this year, I will certainly be among them.

As Locktober draws nigh, I’ve felt increasingly anxious about what Lucie has planned. Not that I’ve doubted for a moment that we would take part in Locktober. My concern was more about whether she had any plan to unlock me and allow me a release before October 1. After all, by month’s end, she will have kept me locked for 88 days and orgasm free for 154 days, all while subjecting me to intense teasing that at times has bordered on cruelty. Just when I had girded myself last Sunday to broach the subject, Lucie brought it up first.

After telling me she had been thinking about Locktober and was much looking forward to our first Locktober together, she informed me she had a prepping for Locktober plan to ease us into it. Lucie then said she was replacing our current teasing and denial program with a new ten to fourteen day prepping program, during which she would give me two chances to earn a release. So far, so good. But then she crushed my hopes by adding this caution.

“But it is very possible that you will fail both opportunities. Then you would have to go into Locktober without a release.”

When she first mentioned giving me two opportunities to earn a release, I admit to feeling suspicious. That’s because after four months, I have learned well how her devious mind works. Munificence is not among Lucie’s many endearing attributes. Of course, that isn’t her fault. She is a proper sadist and what sadist is a sadist who misses any opportunity to deal out mental cruelty to her chastity slave? So, I strongly suspect Lucie has some trick up her sleeve that guarantees I’ll fail whatever opportunities for release she offers. And, of course, she didn’t offer any details about the “opportunities.” As Lucie is fond of reminding me:

“Locked boys needn’t spend their time worrying about the things over which they have no control.”

So, since the weekend we have embarked on her new diabolical teasing and denial plan that is even more intense than what we had already been doing for about the past nine weeks. So far it has featured more intense edging sessions and a stronger focus on erotic humiliation.

Not that I don’t admire and appreciate Lucie’s seemingly inexhaustible creativity, but it doesn’t feel like we’re easing into anything, much less Locktober. I could be wrong, but I’ve already accepted I’m probably going into Locktober with no unlock and no orgasm. But, hey. No one ever said life is fair, right?

Accordingly, I have made my mental preparations for Locktober as well as they can be made. If I must endure another 31 days of enforced chastity after this month’s close, so be it. I once heard this stoic line in a movie that I liked.

“One may stare into the light until one becomes the light.”

Perhaps I can use that bit of moral relativism to get through Locktober without a release. It represents a common observation of Nietzsche and others that we become like that we fight against, since we must do so in order to survive. I suppose that is just as true for denial.

Well wishes to all who are prepping for Locktober.

pro-domme key holders

Why I Prefer Having a Pro Domme Enforce My Chastity

By Chaste on Sunday, September 3, 2023

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity during those times I’ve wanted a keyholder. Mostly that is because of two reasons.

I am not in a relationship with anyone and haven’t been for several years now. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend who might enforce my chastity, though I’ve always believed that is probably the very best way to do chastity. The reason I’m not in a relationship and not looking to get into one is the other explanation for my pro domme as a keyholder preference.

Several years ago, I went through a very painful break up with a woman I had expected to spend the rest of my life with, and I’ve never fully recovered from it. I had two relationships with wonderful women after that one ended, but that’s when I realized relationships would never work for me again because I had loved that one woman so completely and so deeply that I simply had nothing left to give to another. Getting involved with another woman would never be fair to either of us, because any new relationship would ultimately fail.

That also explains why I’ve never considered seeking what many term a lifestyle domme as a keyholder, a dominant woman who might enforce my chastity as part of the power exchange and exert other forms of control, all with no expectation of payment. I have great respect for the lifestyle dommes I know, a few of whom I count as friends. But a relationship with a non-pro domme means you must deal with the dominant woman as the whole woman.

Many of the same challenges you face in vanilla dating and relationships are in play with a lifestyle domme. And that is exactly what I don’t want and firmly believe I won’t ever want. Satisfying romantic relationships is part of my past, not part of my future. Yes, it sometimes makes me feel sad to think about that, but as a realist, I can’t question the truth of my convictions.

A pro domme, in comparison, is not looking for a relationship or even any sexual interaction. Not to say that she won’t require you to perform sexual acts that she might also find arousing to have you do, or that real intimacy can’t naturally develop between the two of you. But she will never be your girlfriend.

A pro domme may be as keen about chastity enforcement and teasing and denial as you, but she is providing professional services and is in the business of creating and delivering immersive fantasies. She will connect with you in much the same way as a personal trainer, therapist, or life coach, providing her services for a fee (tribute).

I’ve discovered that many people know very little about pro dommes, what they do and don’t do, and what submitting to a pro domme is actually like. What has surprised me the most is how little lifestyle dommes know about all that.

Some assumptions about pro dommes I’ve seen lifestyle dommes post on blogs and other places were shockingly false. One example I’ve read was, “Pro dommes are the closest you can get to a porn-on-demand experience.” This woman, as many others do, believe pro dommes are “kink dispensers” that give you exactly what you want because you’re paying them. Having engaged a half-dozen pro-dommes, one of whom is internationally known and respected, I can tell you they are not kink dispensers.

I’ve never had a pro domme ask me, “So, what do you want me to do to you?” Yes, they want to know what you’re into because they aren’t mind readers. But they only want to know what your kinks are in broad terms and what your limits are. Like, “I’m into chastity, teasing and denial, impact play, and anal play. My limits are public humiliation, feminization, and cross-dressing.” They don’t care about and don’t want to hear about what you specifically want them to do to you.

Try telling a pro domme, “I want you to lock my cock in a chastity device for a week, then unlock me, and then give me jack off instructions while you watch me masturbate, and then…” You won’t even get that far before they shut you down.

Sure, you can probably find a cam girl on Only Fans who will do all that stuff for you for the right price, but submitting to pro dommes doesn’t work that way. They will take your kink interests and decide where yours overlap with theirs and then, while respecting your limits, will deliver an experience that addresses those shared interests in whatever way that pleases them. Just because you’re tributing them doesn’t mean you get to be in charge. It also doesn’t mean they don’t expect to get pleased or get their desires met too. That’s what dominance and submission are about. It’s an exchange.

Tributes are a funny thing to me. I have no trouble at all tributing a pro domme. A tribute shows respect for a pro domme’s expertise, time, and attention, all of which she could devote to someone else if she wasn’t giving it to you.

A financial tribute to a pro domme is not like paying a prostitute for sex. It isn’t like paying a woman to date you. A pro domme will not have sex with you because she isn’t a prostitute and she won’t be your girlfriend. They are not “findoms.” Yet I see guys all the time on forums advertising for a keyholder who always adds, “Not looking for pay-to-play.” Yeah, good luck with that.

If you want a domme, don’t want to tribute a pro domme, and expect free keyholding, then stop wasting your time posting personal ads on chastity forums. Find out where your local kink community hangs out, get plugged in, and start meeting some dominant women and you might get lucky by finding a lifestyle domme who is interested in you. Or else find someone who isn’t necessarily dominant but willing to date and explore chastity with you. Most women, even vanilla women, can be great keyholders as long as they want to be keyholders.

I’ve had some uniformly wonderful experiences with the pro dommes I’ve engaged with. For the past four months, I’ve submitted to the best pro domme I’ve ever played with, Lucie.

I am still enough of a romantic in the sense I don’t want to submit to just any random domme. I want that connection to one person. And I want that connection with Lucie after learning how well I respond to her relentless willingness to bend me to her will. She doesn’t indulge my kinks. Lucie uses them to taunt me with her power. She enslaves me with her body and her desires so that all I think about is the best way to please her. Even when offering what pleasures she permits me, she is only reminding me how completely she controls me. I want the relationship with Lucie to last.

Lucie has already helped me discover so much about the parts of my sexuality that exist outside what I’ve fantasized about, and she has unlocked the submissive part of my nature in ways I didn’t realize were possible. The vulnerability of being submissive is ultimately part of being a half of a whole. And in the power exchange dynamic of D/s, Lucie, for me, has become the other half.

My pleasures, like my kinks, belong to her. They are the tools of her control. “My pleasure doesn’t matter” has become my mantra. I never expected submitting to Lucie to impact me this much, to feel so bonded with her, so in the beginning, it felt bewildering to feel that things were far more real than I had expected. But she has transformed me into her perfect, driven, obedient boy.

Every opportunity to serve, to sacrifice, to suffer for her feels like something relevant has passed between us. Each whimper and groan from my heightened physical arousal produced by her vivid sexual creativity makes me feel gooey inside. “Good boy” still provokes those same shudders of desire as when I first discovered those words were in Lucie’s hand, a leash on my soul.

Those are the reasons why I prefer having a pro domme enforce my chastity. Or, to put a finer point on it, why I prefer having Lucie enforce my chastity. She has left an indelible mark on my soul.

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

You Can’t Domme Without Feedback

By Chaste on Friday, August 18, 2023

One of Lucie’s many pithy pearls of wisdom is: “You can’t domme without feedback.”

The past five weeks since Lucie returned from vacation have been intense. She has kept me locked for 43 days, and thanks to my voluntary three-month period of celibacy when I committed to Chastity 90 back in May, I have not had a single orgasm, not even a ruined one, for 109 days. Lucie, now in full command since Chastity 90 ended, seems happy to keep me locked and orgasm free.

As part of our dynamic, Lucie requires me to submit a written report each Saturday since she feels you can’t domme without feedback. One requirement for the report is I must rate my perceived levels of sexual desire (horniness) and sexual frustration using a scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high). This week, I have been rocking a steady 5 in both categories. Truthfully, I can’t recall having ever been this horny, and this frustrated for such a sustained period.

Usually, after two weeks of wearing a cage, I sort of slip into cruise control where my arousal is above my normal baseline when I am not locked and denied, but my frustration levels off where it’s easily endurable. With Lucie, it doesn’t work that way.

Arousal has built quickly to escape velocity, using the parlance of rocket launches, and stays there. My balls never relax, like when the cruise control thing happens. Instead, they remain big and tightly pressed against the base ring, which is damn uncomfortable. And for two straight weeks, I have awakened each morning to attempted morning wood, pushing the cage as far from my body as the base ring allows. Not only that, I get attempted erections in the daytime for no reason, and sometimes leak with no apparent cause.

All well and good, since sexual desire feels amazingly pleasurable. But Lucie doesn’t care as much about that as she does about ramping up the sexual frustration level to excruciating heights. That’s more in keeping with her sadistic nature. “If you’re not suffering, it’s not submission.” She is far more apt to adjust her input when the feedback doesn’t show that I’m frustrated enough to suit her beautiful, sadistic mind than if my horniness level isn’t up to snuff. In a word, I’m suffering with no end in sight.

When I first contacted Lucie, I was only looking to spend a month locked by a keyholder as a change of pace from a steady diet of self-locking. That’s what I’ve always done in the past when I’ve engaged a professional keyholder. But things haven’t worked out that way with Lucie, and we’re well on our way to reaching the 4-month mark.

I’ve stayed locked for way over 43 days many times, but only once has a keyholder kept me locked this long before. That was my very first keyholder, who kept me locked for over sixty days. But she allowed me to have one ruined and one full orgasm during that time.

I do not know when Lucie intends to unlock me. Not a clue. But when we talked last Tuesday, I mentioned hitting 5 on the scales for both variables and all she said was, “Already? I suppose the coming weeks will be hard for you.” Sure, that was so hot when she said it. But sobering when I thought about it later. Weeks? Definitely more than one. But “weeks” could mean anything. Two weeks? Three? And there are 52 weeks in a year, perish the thought. Weeks could mean anything. Thankfully, she didn’t say months.

So, yeah, it’s getting real in Lucieville. But that’s okay. I absolutely love her. No, not in some creepy, besotted way. That isn’t the dynamic of our relationship. And the reason I prefer a pro over a lifestyle domme is I don’t want a romantic relationship. I only want an experienced, dominant woman to enforce my chastity. And Lucie is the most amazing keyholder and domme I’ve ever had. That’s why we’ve gone almost four months, and why I want to keep going.

I mentioned to her a week or so ago that I couldn’t help wishing for a more permanent arrangement with her. I expected her to remind me that isn’t what she does. But to my surprise, she said she has fun with me and unlike many she has held keys for, I’m not clingy or demanding and I understand the dynamic of our relationship. Then she said she would think about it.

Wow! I couldn’t have been happier. So, we’ll see what comes of it. I enjoy things as they are now, but I would love her to take more control and all the time, not just during negotiated periods. If she does that, I’ll never have to look for another keyholder and wouldn’t want to. Lucie is special, and you can’t replace that. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone who fits you perfectly. That’s Lucie for me. And you better believe I know how lucky I am.

Teasing & Denial

She Loves These Edges

By Chaste on Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Lucie sets a lot of tasks for me to do for her. Amazingly, each task has been unique. I’ve yet to do the same one twice. Well, with one exception. Lucie makes me do a lot of edges, far more than I’ve ever done in my life. It wasn’t long after she became my keyholder, whenever I was edging, that this thought occurred to me. “She loves these edges.”

It isn’t unusual for a keyholder to require her charge to do edges. Just recently, I read an article that said edging is the most popular teasing technique used by chastity keyholders. I’ve had several remote keyholders who made me edge, but none were ever as enthusiastic about making me edge as Lucie is.

Though it seems unlikely that anyone reading this isn’t aware of what edging is, I’ll pause here to offer a simple definition. Edging is the practice of stopping sexual stimulation of the genitals, just short of reaching orgasm.

Some use the practice alone or with a partner to prolong a sexual experience and to build to a more intense orgasm through delay. But for those of us who wear a chastity device who have a keyholder controlling our orgasms, edging is a cruel teasing and denial technique often applied by touching a powerful vibrator against the chastity device cage.

I admit I have a love-hate relationship with edging. Yes, the stimulation from a vibrator against the cage feels intensely pleasurable and edging truly makes me insanely horny. But there is a downside. Edging also leaves me feeling maddeningly sexually frustrated when a session ends. Lucie, of course, knows this very well, which is why she makes me edge so often. In fact, she usually reserves two days each week only for edging. And sometimes, she whimsically texts me out of the blue and tells me to stop whatever I’m doing and to do some set number of edges for her entertainment.

In the past, I used a powerful corded Hitachi Magic Wand against the cage for edging. It is very intense with any cage, but especially so with the Kink3D Cobra I’m wearing now. Mostly, I did the number of edges Lucie prescribed with a 30-second pause between each one, and then texted her when I was done. Sometimes she required me to send her a video while I edged to prove I was doing “proper edges” by getting really close before stopping the stimulation.

Edging with the Hitachi makes the cage contents try to get hard, and the erections push the cage several inches away from my body, as far as the base ring around my balls allows. This causes the base ring to exert a lot of uncomfortable pressure on my balls, something Lucie never tires of hearing about. And usually, before I’ve completed the second of ever how many edges she has demanded, I’m leaking. That’s another thing Lucie loves, and something she demands to see when she requires videos.

But now, we’re doing the edges differently. Recently, Lucie told me she had a new idea for making edging much more fun. What Lucie calls a new “idea,” I affectionately term a new “devious scheme of torture.” But I never say it out loud. So, I was certain she meant a new idea for making edging much more fun for her to inflict on me. The new idea, as her new ideas often do, involved me adding a new item to my once modest sex toy collection that is now growing out of control like a California wildfire. The item she asked me to get was a new cordless wand vibrator.

“But I already have the Hitachi,” I countered cautiously. “And I doubt a cordless will be nearly as powerful as a corded Hitachi.”

“Yes, those are great, but this is a powerful cordless vibe,” said Lucie. “And I want it because I will be able to control it remotely with an app on my phone.”

Well, okay. I had to admit that part of it intrigued me. I already have some anal toys I bought at Lucie’s suggestion that she controls remotely with an app on her phone. And I sort of like it when we play with those. So I ordered the vibe she wanted. Have I mentioned that I have difficulty saying no to Lucie?

Anyway, now on the two days each week reserved for edging, Lucie controls everything. My role is to hold the vibrator against the cage where she wants it. Then, while monitoring the edging with a video call made from her Mac, she controls the intensity and the patterns of vibrations with the app on her phone. All well and good. I do like the new way since Lucie is edging me. It feels as real as it gets with virtual, and somehow it feels quite intimate. But, of course, Lucie the sadist, always has to push the envelope.

The first time we used this new edging method, she began by needlessly reminding me, “It’s your responsibility to tell me when you’re at the edge, so we stop in time. If you cum, that’s your fault, and I will punish you severely.”

Trust me. Lucie doesn’t use the term “severely” lightly. She means it. Harsh punishment. Punishment to an undesirably great or intense degree, usually directed at the most vulnerable part of my male anatomy.

“Yes, Mistress,” I said, already suspecting there was some cruel reason behind the needless reminder. The thin smile on her lips and that familiar look in her eyes suggested I was about to experience some new form of torture.

Lucie activated the vibe after directing me to press the massage head against the tip of the cage where it meets my balls, the place where I feel the vibrations most intensely. Maybe because I was already so horny combined with the novelty of Lucie edging me, I got to the first edge faster than usual.

“I’m close, Mistress, please stop.”

When the vibrations continued unabated, I glanced at the screen and that’s when I saw that smile. That smile that always strikes terror in my heart. That sadistic smile.

“How close?”

“I’m at the edge. Stop, please, Mistress.”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Grr… please stop, Mistress. Please!”

“Beg me to stop.”

Okay, I might have used some bad words, followed by some frantic begging, followed by a desperate shouted, “You’re going to make me cum if you don’t stop now!”

Mercifully, the vibrations stopped, but for a moment I feared not soon enough. I felt those little tremors in my groin that usually herald the start of the muscle contractions that occur at ejaculation. But, thankfully, I didn’t cum. I only leaked.

“Mistress, you almost made me cum,” I whinged.

“Why can’t you be a man for once in your life, sissy boy?” she retorted with an evil grin. “Exert some self-control.”

Seriously? Be a man for once in your life? Exert some self-control? That’s the same line she uses when I flinch whenever she makes me slap my balls with a riding crop while she watches on video calls. I knew with six edges to go that I was in for a long session. She loves these edges.

enforced male chastity

Life In the Fast Lane

By Chaste on Thursday, July 27, 2023

“Life in the fast lane

Surely make you lose your mind.”

– Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”

Guys! Guys! Can you believe it? It’s only two days and a few hours until the end of Chastity 90! Well, at least for me and anyone who took up the challenge when I did back on the first day of May. If you did, or if you started the challenge a little later as I know a few guys did, I hope you’ve been successful. I suppose I have no reason to celebrate since, according to Lucie, I won’t be getting a release any time soon even when my Chastity 90 ends.

Speaking of Lucie, she has teased me with a vengeance since returning from vacation, giving me a task to complete every single day. It’s life in the fast lane. I suspect she wants me to suffer as much as possible until the end of Chastity 90. Of course, she is only making it more enjoyable and making the days pass faster by keeping my arousal level peaking continuously.

My dedication to completing the task list she left me before going on vacation impressed Lucie. She has “rewarded” me by telling me she will keep me locked a lot longer this time. For how long, I have no clue. Now that I’m accomplished with prostate milking, she is no longer concerned with making me unlock periodically for health and safety reasons. Lucie has also added another wrinkle to our relationship.

While I’ve been a distance runner since my junior high days, I’ve really slacked on working out for about the last year and a half. I blame it on the effects of the pandemic hangover. Slacking, combined with my love of beer and pizza has caused me to develop something of a belly. Lucie has informed me she wants the belly gone. She says she doesn’t expect six-pack abs, but does expect a flat belly. She even sent me a workout schedule and told me to consider it a task and it’s not optional.

To start, it was all aerobic with three days of running and two days of cycling with gradually increasing distances for both. But she added some weight training to the mix after the second week ended. I’m happy to do what she wants; even grateful she has taken an interest in helping me drop some weight and get fit again. Since I haven’t had the motivation to lose weight and improve my fitness lately, I appreciate that Lucie is now providing me some motivation. Fair is fair since I neglected to put forced exercise on my hard limits list. 🙂

Anyway, after less than three full weeks, I have already dropped a few pounds and lost more than an inch around my waist. Based on experience, getting rid of the beer gut will take some time. It seems belly fat is always the last to go for me. But it will happen eventually. Happily, Lucie hasn’t taken my beer away completely, just made me cut back. And she says she won’t take the beer away completely as long as I continue showing consistent weekly progress. I’m also grateful for that. After all, without beer, what’s the point to life?

I find it hard to believe Lucie and I have been playing together for almost three months. Back in May, when I decided I wanted a virtual key holder again for a while, I expected to do a month, maybe two, and then to go back to self-locking. But, oh my. I’ve had the privilege of having had several terrific key holders. But Lucie is definitely in a class by herself. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to self-locking. At least not as long as Lucie is willing to continue.

She has warned me from the start that there is only so much you can do virtually and sooner or later one or both of us will grow bored and we’ll have to stop. But I’m no where close to that and Lucie doesn’t seem to be either. The new fitness thing has given me a reason to hope that we will continue for the foreseeable future. That’s because it may not be optional for me to exercise, but it really isn’t just a task. It’s Lucie requiring greater commitment from me. Why would she want that if she was feeling bored? I dread the day it does end with us and being a realist, I know Lucie isn’t wrong. But after Lucie, I know I’ll never find another key holder that suits me so perfectly. I don’t obsess about it, but I hope Lucie doesn’t grow bored any time soon. I know I won’t grow bored with her. Like ever. She is that amazing as a Mistress.

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