Month: May 2022

male chastity

Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Five

By on Monday, May 23, 2022

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

In yesterday’s post, Day Four of Thirty Days of Chastity, I faced a question that wasn’t applicable to me since the topic was Chastity with partners and I’m single and don’t have a partner involved in my chastity journey. But today I’m back on solid ground with a question that does apply as we focus on the topic of first chastity experiences.

DAY 5: YOUR FIRST TIME…

What was your first time in Chastity like? How long were you locked in? What did it feel like and what happened on your release? If you are the Keyholder, what was it like for you? 

As I shared in the third post of this series, I searched for a remote keyholder when I tried chastity for the first time. I’ve always been glad I approached it that way because I think that provided a better outcome than I might have experienced had I gone at it alone with no actual idea about what I was doing. I actually found my first keyholder and entered a month-long agreement with her a few days before the chastity device I had ordered arrived. So, she guided me from the very beginning. 

The day my first device showed up in my mailbox, I contacted her and we began that same day. As I’ve also shared, the first device I bought was a disaster as it fit poorly and, in the end, didn’t work for me at all. That’s because I hadn’t learned about the importance of taking accurate measurements before ordering a cock cage. I had taken a quick measurement for the base ring, which eventually proved inaccurate, but that was all the thought I gave to measuring. Nevertheless, since it was the only device I had, we used it for the first week while I waited for a more suitable device to arrive. 

As I remember it, it was about five in the afternoon when I found the device in the mailbox and reached out to the keyholder and received my first instructions. First, she told me to inspect the tube and base for any pointy or excessively rough spots that might cause injuries, and then had me familiarize myself with all the parts and how the thing fitted together. Next, after I found no problems with the device and felt I understood how the thing worked, she told me to put the device on for the first time.

Putting on the Chastity Device for the First Time

Unlike the experiences some guys have told me they had, putting the device on the first time didn’t provoke an erection for me. And that has never happened since I began chastity, which I suppose shows chastity devices aren’t fetishistic for me. But once I had it locked on, I found the attendant sensations quite arousing. 

First, while the tube was more than an inch longer than I needed, the inner diameter of the tube was just about right. It wasn’t tight, but there wasn’t much extra space, so I liked the feel of the metal encasing my penis. It was a solid tube, so it concealed my entire penis and I liked the aesthetics of that. Last, when I clicked the lock shut for the first time, it was almost a viscerally emotional experience knowing another person controlled when I could unlock.

My keyholder, who is very knowledgeable about chastity and safety conscious, told me to wear the device the rest of the day, but to remove it at bedtime. She wouldn’t allow me to sleep wearing it until she felt sure I wasn’t having any restricted circulation issues. So, I only wore the device for about four hours the first time. 

I liked the feel of the device so much; I removed it at bedtime with great reluctance. But I followed my keyholder’s instructions. Later I would be glad I did because by the next day I already had a few tender spots from the friction of the base ring on the tender skin around my scrotum, just from wearing the device for four hours the first time. Yet, I was eager to put the device back on the next morning. 

In summary, I enjoyed the feel of the device that first time―the way it encased my penis, the weight of it, and the look of it locked on―and having to remove it the first time was a little disheartening because I hated taking it off. Overall, I found it a positive experience despite the issue I had with a testicle popping free from the base ring frequently, which started happening the very first day. That was because the gap set by the manufacturer of the device was too wide for me. So, things definitely improved once I ordered and received a much better fitted second device. Still, from that first day, I knew wearing chastity devices was something I liked on many levels and would stay with.

While I can’t say my introduction to chastity was seamless, I enjoyed it and I knew almost from the first day that it was something I’d continue long term.

As always, feel free to share your first time chastity experience in the comments below.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.

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Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Four

By on Sunday, May 22, 2022

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

Here at Day Four of Thirty Days of Chastity, the topic is Chastity with partners. Since I’m single and don’t have a partner involved in my chastity journey, obviously I can’t provide an answer to the actual question for today. But I didn’t want to just skip the day, so I’m going to answer a different question while keeping to the theme of the day. Below I’ve provided both the original question from the meme, and the alternate question I’m answering.

DAY 4: PARTNERS…

Today’s question from the meme

Did you suggest that you be locked in chastity to your partner, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

My alternate question

If you had a partner, do you imagine you would suggest they lock you in chastity, or that they would suggest it to you? What do you imagine that first conversation might look like?

I have it from a reliable source that guys ask their partners to lock them in chastity about eighty percent of the time. So, statistically, I expect if I got into a conventional intimate relationship with someone, then I’d be the one suggesting chastity. I’d definitely want chastity as part of the relationship, so when I felt the time was right, I would bring it up. And I’d do it sooner rather than later. Because of what chastity means to me, I can’t envision having a successful intimate relationship with someone who was unwilling to incorporate chastity in the relationship, and I wouldn’t want a relationship without it. Hard stop.

How would I bring it up? I’d simply be honest and upfront about it. I’ve never been a guy who felt awkward about sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with a woman I believed cares about me genuinely and I trust.

First, I’d tell her chastity is something important to me and why I need it for me and as part of the relationship. Then I’d explain why and how I believed that chastity would strengthen our relationship and deepen our intimacy. Finally, I’d tell them that chastity would enable me to consistently put their needs, desires, and sexual pleasure above mine and to serve them in every way with devotion and love.

If I knew the person knew little about chastity, I would also have a good book on hand to give them that explained what chastity is, why so many men want it, how it benefits a partner, and the responsibilities of a chastity keyholder. I’d rather pass on accurate information that way rather than leave it up to them to research it on their own and maybe come across some of the more ridiculous stuff on the internet that gets conflated with chastity and that might put them off the idea. I’d answer any initial questions or address any concerns, and then I’d close the conversation by asking them to read the book I’d give them and ask for another conversation once they finished reading it and had thought it all over.

That’s all a little general, but it’s impossible to say exactly what you would tell a potential partner since you would have to tailor the conversation to what level of awareness the person had about chastity. One thing I’d definitely avoid would be casting chastity as some kinky sexual thing or the fulfillment of my sexual fantasies. I’d present it the way I look at it, a lifestyle preference that can strengthen a loving relationship and make me the best man and partner I can be.

My General Thoughts on Having a Partner Keyholder

I truly admire the relationship that Thumper (Denying Thumper blog) has with his wife and keyholder Belle. A part of me longs for a relationship like that. But frankly, I don’t see that as a part of my future.

Some years ago, I was in a relationship with a woman who was “the one” for me. We suited each other perfectly in every way. She is the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, has an assertive personality that resonates with me, loves sex, is delightfully kinky, and to me is breathtakingly gorgeous. I love her more than any human being on the planet, and while the relationship ended for reasons beyond our control, I know she still cares for me deeply and thankfully, to this day, we remain close friends. The problem is, she set an impossible bar for any other woman to meet. I know this because I’ve had two relationships since with women who are wonderful in their own rights, but both relationships ended because they never came close to the ideal that I’d experienced. Clearly, that’s my issue, not theirs. But after the last relationship ended, I lost interest in pursuing another and maybe it was my last. The woman I still love is simply irreplaceable. I haven’t sought another relationship for almost three years and have no regrets.

However, while I’m not seeking someone for a relationship in the usual sense, I do dream about finding a woman as a permanent keyholder. I’d prefer someone who lived in the same zip code so that we could spend time together and so I’d have opportunities to serve her in actual ways. But I’d settle for a permanent remote keyholder under the right circumstances, even with someone I might never see in person. While I get much of what I want from chastity by self-locking, each time I engage a remote keyholder, it reminds me of how it expands and deepens the experience of all the things about chastity I find so meaningful.

While it’s true, I could engage a Pro Domme as a permanent remote keyholder any time I wish. As long as I’m willing to pay for keyholding services. There is always one missing element with those arrangements. Professionals aren’t looking for a guy to love them, much less to love back. They simply provide a service for a fee, whether remotely or in person. Sure, they may come to like you as a person and value you as a client, but at the end of the day, it’s only a business arrangement. And I understand why they want to keep their clients at arm’s length. While I’m always happy to pay the fees for professional keyholding, I always miss the freedom to express affection if I feel it or receive any. So, the permanent keyholder arrangement I often wish for isn’t something I believe I could ever find with a Pro Domme.

Maybe what I dream of isn’t realistic. I suppose it would have to be a woman interested in chastity and keyholding because it resonated with her, not because it was her job. And who was open to whatever feelings developed between us. I’d still happily pay such woman keyholding fees. After all, if we lived at a distance that made it impossible for me to serve her physically, money and gifts are the only realistic options for serving her at all. And I think that’s important, since nothing is as valuable to any of us as time and I wouldn’t expect someone to give me their time without receiving something of value in return. So, it’s a dream, but maybe not a practical one.

That’s all I have to say on the topic of chastity with a partner. I hope many who read this are fortunate enough to have an intimate partner as their keyholder since I’m convinced that is experiencing chastity at its best. But how about you? If you’re answering the questions from the meme with me as we move through it, which question have you answered? I hope you will consider leaving a comment.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.

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Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Three

By on Saturday, May 21, 2022

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

It’s Day Three of Thirty Days of Chastity where we talk about beginnings.

DAY 3: Beginnings…

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

I came to the practice of chastity in a roundabout way. I read an article by Taylor Johnson, a sex educator and relationship coach, in which he shared his experiences while going thirty days without ejaculating. The claims he made were mind-blowing and sounded like something I needed. I say “claims” because it all sounded so good, I was a bit skeptical. For me, I have to experience most things I learn about on the internet before I believe them. So, I gave thirty-day semen retention a go. But there was a problem. 

What I attempted was basically honor chastity, although I wasn’t familiar with the term back then. Similar to resolving to fast, diet, or exercise more, with this method, I employed raw willpower to keep myself from falling into temptation. I found it incredibly hard to keep saying no to something my brain and body demanded, something both were accustomed to getting frequently. So, the experience was not enjoyable at all, soured by all the annoying self-discipline and holding back. 

After only four or five days, my willpower crumbled one evening, and I took matters into my own hands. I never got to the juicy later stages Johnson had promised. But then I made another exciting discovery, a Tumblr blog curated by a woman going by the name Agni (pseudonym of course), a self-styled male chastity expert. Agni introduced me to the exciting possibilities of male chastity and an easier path toward achieving the things Taylor Johnson had written about. 

The first thing I learned from Agni was physical device chastity, be it a chastity belt or a cock cage, was vastly superior to abstinence based on self-discipline and raw willpower. Because of my past involvement with the BDSM community, I was already aware of chastity tubes or cages since the first company to mass produce ball-trapping chastity devices marketed them to that community from the start. I’d seen them on retailer websites and they had looked cool. But I’d given no serious thought to buying one. But Agni made them sound so useful and wonderful, I began investigating. 

What I learned was chastity devices were even more widely available than ever before and the prices had dropped dramatically because more manufacturers were producing them. Agni’s passionate advocacy of the benefits of male chastity and chastity devices persuaded me to take my first baby steps into the world of male chastity. And I ordered my first chastity device. 

Remember, I knew very little chastity devices and was completely unaware of how important it was to measure before choosing and buying a chastity device. So, I just pored over retailer websites until I found one that I found aesthetically pleasing and ordered it. 

Another thing I learned from Agni was physical device chastity wasn’t much more effective than honor chastity unless you had a third party (keyholder) holding the keys to the device and controlling access to the contents of the device. So, I did one thing right. Since I didn’t have a partner or friend to ask to become my keyholder, I launched a web search for a remote keyholder. Through mostly blind luck, I quickly found a woman I still believe is the most perfect keyholder for a guy taking his first tentative steps on the chastity journey. She is as knowledgeable about male chastity as Agni and knows how to safely introduce a guy to safely adjusting to wearing a chastity device. I signed up for a thirty-day chastity “boot camp,” and as they say, the rest is history. 

The first few days under the tutelage of my experienced keyholder revealed the chastity device I’d bought would not work for me. The tube was too long for one thing, but the big problem was the gap was too wide, and this allowed my testicles to pop free of the base ring. With her help, I found and bought a second device, which worked much better. And she taught me about the importance of measuring before choosing and buying a chastity device. Before the end of the month that I’d committed to, she helped me choose and order my first custom fitted device from Mature Metal. 

I continued with my first keyholder for over three months and soon permanent chastity became my goal as I reaped the amazing benefits of sexual abstinence that I’d first learned about from Taylor Johnson’s article. I experienced the peacefulness, vibrancy, clarity, power, purpose, and presence he had described. The depression and stress evaporated. I slept better and my productivity increased to levels I’d never experienced. I felt alive in a new way, and it felt incredible. But I had a setback. 

As much as I desired to practice permanent chastity, I tried to attain it too fast and after over three months with my keyholder, we reached an impasse. That wasn’t her fault, as she only gave me what I’d asked her for, but I felt compelled to withdraw from our agreement when she insisted I do things I didn’t enjoy or find meaningful. One issue was we weren’t focused on the same thing. I was more focused on the benefits of semen retention than on the concept of male chastity, and male chastity with all the trappings of obedience and submission to the wishes of a keyholder was her focus. So, we parted ways, and I chose to self-lock. 

The good news is, under the supervision of my first keyholder and my adjustment to chastity, my self-discipline and willpower increased dramatically. So, when I committed to remaining locked and chaste for thirty days or more, I kept those commitments. And I’ve enjoyed splendid success with self-locking. But I missed the extra mental and emotional boost having a keyholder provides, so from time to time, I still engage with a remote keyholder whenever I feel my motivation is lagging or when I just get bored with self-locking.

The Kink Aspect

“Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.” 

I mentioned previously that I don’t view male chastity as a kink as much as a life choice or preference. With more than a decade of involvement in BDSM, I think I have a good understanding of kink, and, while I have a few, I don’t view chastity through that lens. Generally, kink is defined as anything that falls outside the bounds of what society deems sexually “normal.” While the practice of chastity and wearing chastity devices may not yet be mainstream, I think it’s getting there. That said, I suppose one experience from my BDSM days hinted that I’d find male chastity appealing once I discovered it.

One of my favorite BDSM activities was always orgasm teasing and denial, which is, of course, a huge part of the chastity experience. But the funny thing about that is when I was involved with the BDSM community it was in the role of a Dominant and over about a decade I had four or five relationships with submissive women who were very much into orgasm teasing and denial. So, I had experience controlling orgasms, not having someone controlling mine. The tables have now turned and now I feel I understand so much better why those women found teasing and denial so appealing. 

I’ve shared how my focus remains on gaining the benefits of semen retention, an ancient practice believed to maximize male physical and spiritual energy. And chastity helps me do that. Much of the history of the practice is rooted in ancient Taoist philosophies of self-control, and semen retention is a foundational principle of that. Many Taoist practitioners link the loss of semen to the loss of vital life force. They believe excessive semen loss results in premature aging, disease, and general fatigue. While some Taoists contend that a man should never ejaculate, others provide a specific formula based on age to determine the maximum number of regular ejaculations in order to maintain health. I’m still studying and incorporating that as I learn more about Taoist philosophies. All I know for sure right now is that chastity will always be an integral part of my life, as I can’t imagine going back to the way I lived before discovering it.

I’ve shared my story, now over to you. How did you get into Chastity? I hope some of you will share your stories by posting comments here. Personally, I always find it fascinating to hear what drew others to male chastity.

If this was the first post you read in this series where I answer the questions from the “Thirty Days of Chastity” Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk, you can click here to start at the beginning with the first question.

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Thirty Days of Chastity: Day Two

By on Friday, May 20, 2022

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

Here we go with Thirty Days of Chastity, Day Two and the second question.

DAY 2: Your Chastity…

What sort of device or belt do you (or your partner) wear? What are your likes and dislikes about it? If you don’t currently wear a chastity device or belt, what design would you like and why?

I don’t know how many chastity devices I currently own, and I didn’t bother counting. But I have many and in every material except silicone. And all are “beltless,” standard “ball-trapping” devices. 

Chastity belts intrigue me, the type that men supposedly made women wear in medieval times, but actually didn’t. The first chastity belts probably appeared during Victorian times when society sought to curb masturbation. But intriguing or not, chastity belts don’t seem practical to me for everyday use. 

Yes, I’m aware some men and women who practice chastity and orgasm denial do that, but I can imagine chastity belts are a nightmare to keep clean. And I’m just not fascinated enough with actual chastity belts to spend the money to buy something that’s reasonably expensive that I wouldn’t wear much. 

I am and have always been partial to steel chastity devices. The first device I purchased was stainless steel and although that one didn’t work well for me. I immediately liked the weight of steel. 

I’ve since purchased several more steel devices, including four custom made devices. But there are two devices I wear most often. My Mature Metal Jail Bird and Male Chastity Now Amicus are my go-to devices. I’d say I like both devices about the same. Both are well made, attractive, and comfortable devices. I’ve worn both for so long that, unless I feel the urge to go to the bathroom, I’m usually not even aware of them. 

What do I dislike about the two devices I wear most frequently? Not much. I’ll have to get picky to think of anything I don’t like about either.

Since I sometimes use remote keyholders, I sometimes must lock up using a plastic, numbered lock so that the keyholder can have confidence I’m not cheating. The problem is the Jail Bird doesn’t play nice with those plastic locks and rotates excessively. That’s because the design relies on the lock the manufacturer furnishes with the device to minimize rotation. But I’ve since come up with a solution after I found these nifty key safes available from several places on the web.

Instead of locking the Jail Bird with a plastic, numbered lock, I secure the keys in a safe with the plastic lock. That allows me to use the manufacturers’ lock to secure the device and still give remote keyholders the security they want.

Like the Jail Bird, I can’t say there is anything I dislike about the Amicus. But I regret I didn’t have Male Chastity Now make a small modification to the cage. 

The Amicus cage has only two vertical bars at the end, which allows for urination in the usual male fashion. But it also allows the glans of the penis to protrude through the gap. That allows the very tip to rub against your underwear and after a while causes irritation of the delicate skin. So, I wish I’d had the manufacturer add two horizontal bars across the vertical ones. That would solve the problem and I’ve since learned the company often makes this modification for customers who request it. One day I may send the cage back for the modification but it’s such a minor issue I haven’t done it yet. 

There are plenty of other devices in my drawer I like and find comfortable to wear. I especially like my two Holy Trainer devices. They fit well and are satisfyingly comfortable. But they are resin, not steel, so wearing them requires more maintenance for someone that wears a device every day as I do. 

As much as I like the devices I already own, I’m always on the lookout for another device. At present, I’m awaiting the delivery of two more custom made devices which I expect to receive in six to eight weeks. 

How about you? What is your go-to device and what do you like about it? Or, if you don’t have your first device, is there one that has captured your interest?

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Thirty Days of Chastity: Day One

By on Thursday, May 19, 2022

Chaste answers the questions from the "Thirty Days of Chastity" Meme from Tickleberry.com.uk

I’ve thought about writing a series of posts answering the questions about chastity from “Thirty Days of Chastity” meme I found a long while ago on the Tickleberry website. Not sure why I waited so long to do it, but here at mid-May 2022, I’m going to do it.

One way we learn things is from the experiences of others and that is as true of male chastity as anything else. So, my reason for writing this series has more to do with you, the reader, than with me.

Whether you’ve practiced chastity for a long time or you’re only thinking about trying it on for size, I hope this series might offer you some focus or clarity. For that reason, I hope you won’t stop at reading my answers to the thirty questions, but that you will give careful thought to answering each question for yourself. I think it will be eye-opening. You could record your answers in a journal for future reference or even share them with me and the other readers of this blog by posting your answers as a comment here.

Now, on to the first question.

Day One: You

What does Chastity mean to you? Give us an idea of how it shapes you and your relationships. Are you in Chastity or is your partner?

Since I don’t have a partner at present, the relational aspects of chastity included in the question don’t apply to me. At least not beyond the temporary engagements I have with professional keyholders from time to time.

Most of the time I’ve worn chastity devices, I’ve been on my own. But even those experiences with professional keyholders have given me glimpses of the power of chastity to change and improve relationships. And even practicing chastity alone has given me such profound experiences that it is something I never intend to give up. Wearing a chastity device is a unique feeling, impossibly difficult to describe adequately to someone who has never tried it, but definitely one of the most powerful things I’ve ever felt.

For me, a chastity device has never been a fetish object. I don’t wear them because the devices themselves arouse me. And I’ve never considered chastity a mere kink. I’m sure many people think a chastity cage is a weird device that must be uncomfortable and can’t imagine there are men that genuinely like wearing them. But I am one of those men, and chastity for me is a lifestyle choice.

After nearly three years of wearing chastity devices, I feel uncomfortable when I’m not locked and so I wear a device every day, removing it only for periodic cleaning, doctor’s appointments, air travel, etc.

The physiological and psychological aspects of chastity are what I find most meaningful. Rather than feeling sexually repressed from the denial, chastity feels freeing and abstinence helps me concentrate more on work and helps me feel centered and more in touch with the world in general. Before I began practicing chastity, I had depression that I barely kept under control day to day and lived with far more stress than needed. I also indulged in far too much masturbation and generally felt I never had enough energy and didn’t know why. Chastity changed all that for me and that’s why it is so important to me to continue it. I don’t wish to return to the way things were before.

I’m also definitely into sensory play which is something I discovered years ago when I was heavily into the BDSM lifestyle. A chastity device gives me a special feeling of enclosure with my cock completely encased and enclosed. There is a serious and functional aspect of bondage involved, something else I like, and chastity fulfills that for me, too.

While I find self-locked chastity deeply satisfying and meaningful, each time I engage with a keyholder, it reminds me that having a partner is the missing piece. Having a keyholder profoundly enhances all the things I like most about chastity and adds things doing solo chastity can’t offer. So, I do hope in the future I’ll be able to add that piece to the mix.

Another badassworkroom Update

I reached out to Guan, the owner of the badassworkroom, again yesterday through the Etsy shop, and finally got a reply. I didn’t ask him specifically if a COVID lockdown had impacted him and he didn’t mention it. Given where he lives, that wasn’t a surprise and also why I didn’t bring it up. He told me he had little time to respond to inquires lately because he is so busy getting orders out. And he mentioned order fulfillment is now taking about six weeks. So, whether it’s a matter of lockdowns or increased popularity, the quick deliveries that past customers have enjoyed and perhaps also the attentive customer service we experienced are now things of the past. So, I placed the order for the new device I had my eye on. More about that later. The good news is seems safe to order, although you may not get speedy answers to your questions or fast delivery.

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Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service Update

By on Monday, May 16, 2022

I’ve completed the second week of the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service trial, and here are some early impressions.

After completing the second week of the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service, the jury is still out until I have benefited from the full month. But here are a few early impressions.

First, I believe this service fills a valuable niche, as I know there are many guys out there who don’t have anyone to act as their keyholder and want an inexpensive remote keyholding service option. So, I hope I’ll be able to give the service a positive review at the end of the month and feel I can recommend it without reservations. But expect an honest review, just like those I do for chastity devices. So far, there are things about the service I’ve liked and haven’t.

Proof of Lock System

One thing I don’t particularly like about the service is the proof of lock system Oxy Shop keyholder service employs. I mentioned a little about how it works in the previous post. But I’ll restate it here. Clients must send a proof of lock photo daily and proof of lock video every other day. So, fourteen days into it, I have sent heaps of photos and videos.

In and of itself, that may not sound completely unreasonable. And I’ve started to have a little fun with it by getting more creative with the videos and photos hoping it amuses the keyholder. But what I like least about the requirement is the keyholder provides no acknowledgment she has received any of the photos or the videos. So, pretty quickly, it can feel you’re only emailing stuff into a black hole, and no one looks at any of it. That’s not very motivating. In fact, it can feel quite like a “lock and forget” system, a very unsatisfying keyholding arrangement, to say the least.

Of course, I understand a $35 per month service isn’t going to offer daily interaction with the keyholder. But I’ve never had a remote keyholder who didn’t acknowledge receipt of required proof of lock photos.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to believe the photo and video requirement isn’t about preventing cheating. I think it’s about giving chastity clients something to do every day to keep them engaged and to distract them from the lack of any real interaction with the keyholder. And there isn’t much of that. So far, I’ve received three emails from the keyholder. One was a task assignment, and the other two were instructional.

Let’s face it. Give me or any guy a remote keyholding system designed to prevent cheating, and we can think up at least a half dozen ways to defeat it without evening thinking that hard. To be fair, I can’t imagine why anyone would pay for a keyholding service and then cheat, but I’m sure some people do. Maybe it’s only a lack of willpower. Regardless, I don’t see a requirement for seven proof of lock photos and four videos a week being any more effective than a requirement for one photo per week. Does the keyholder need to know immediately if a guy cheated? I don’t think so. So, if she doesn’t find out until a week after the fact, I don’t see that as a big deal. The guy is the one who wasted the opportunity and his money when he cheats. It doesn’t really affect the keyholder, especially with this type of service that’s frankly, quite impersonal.

The Missing Personal Touch

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting loads of contact with the Mistress since the very nominal charge for the service is only $35 per month. And just acknowledging receipt of the photos and videos would require a lot of emails. And as I understand it, the Oxy-Shop has only one Pro-Domme supervising every guy who signs up for their keyholding service. And who knows how many guys that it is. Even if it is only fifty locked guys at any given time, that’s too many for one woman to give personal attention to.

What makes the service feel less than satisfactory is that I have engaged several Pro Dommes as keyholders, and while I’ve paid considerably more for their services than $35 per month, I’m accustomed to a more personalized experience. Someone who hasn’t had a professional as a keyholder previously might find the lack of the personal touch far less problematic.

The Positive

My purpose isn’t to throw shade on the Oxy Shop service but only to share my objective opinions about my experience with it. I’ve told you what I haven’t liked about it, but now I want to shift to the positive.

First, as with every time I’ve ever engaged a pay-to-play keyholder service, the Oxy Shop service accomplishes one thing very well. It has elevated my libido. As accustomed as I’ve grown to self-locking, it never compares to chastity under the control of a keyholder. I’ve only had remote keyholders, so that’s the limit of my experience. But even that is a game-changer.

Something you tend to forget when self-locking is like with any form of chastity, your arousal level remains consistently above whatever may have been your normal baseline before exploring chastity. But that soon becomes your new baseline, and you don’t really notice it. At least, that’s been my experience. So with time, chastity becomes easier because you grow so accustomed to continuously elevated arousal. But once it peaks, the curve flattens, and elevated arousal is just your normal state, and you don’t think about it.

But once you find yourself under the control of a keyholder, that all changes, and you become acutely aware of your arousal. I think it’s because suddenly unlocking if you wanted to is no longer an option. Instead, someone else decides when you can unlock, when you can touch yourself, and when or if you get to orgasm. The Oxy-Shop service accomplishes this as well as any remote keyholding service I’ve used in the past.

 

All in all, the Oxy-Shop Monthly Keyholder Service doesn’t suck, and the price is very reasonable. There are other services out there where you can send your keys in or buy a lock where they keep the keys for an agreed length of time, pay a keyholding fee, and surrender control of your keys that way. This service definitely beats that kind of an arrangement, hands down. And as said, if you’ve never engaged a Pro-Domme and received a more personal touch, you might find the Oxy-Shop service meets your needs for a keyholding service without breaking the bank.

Update: badassworkroom

Attempts to contact badassworkroom through the company’s website continue to go unanswered. I’d love to order another device from them, but I won’t place an order until they are back online. You probably shouldn’t either.

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Badassworkroom Custom Chastity Device Maker Has Gone Dark?

By on Monday, May 9, 2022

After the stellar customer service I received from badassworkroom with my first order, the company has inexplicably gone dark and is not replying to customer inquiries.

Thumper believes for a couple of reasons, badassworkroom is located in Hong Kong rather than mainland China (As explained in his review of the BA-31P). However, a recent experience makes me believe that is not the case. With my previous dealings with the company, I was super impressed with the customer service experience. The company hosts a chat client on the website I used to ask questions about the BA-12. Previously, when I posed a question, a representative replied within minutes, if not immediately. Not so much at the moment. I was so impressed with my BA-12, I decided to order a second device from the badassworkroom, the BA-05. But I wanted a minor modification, specifically adding two horizontal bars on the nose to prevent any possibility of the glans of my penis slipping between the two vertical bars. And yes, I have experienced this with another device while sleeping and it wasn’t a pleasant sensation. But after three attempts using both the chat client and emailing, I have received no response to my question about getting the modification after a full week. The company seems to have gone dark. For that reason, I have shelved my plan to order the BA-05 for now.

I can’t believe the company suddenly discontinued their stellar customer service, which leads to an obvious conclusion. It must be located in one of the 225 cities in China where the government has imposed their Draconian “zero COVID” policy lockdowns. Stringent COVID lockdowns hit both Hong Kong and neighboring Shenzhen in early March, but according to media reports, those restrictions have long since been lifted. So if the badassworkroom is located in either of those places, why are they not responding to customer inquiries? That seems to show it is a mainland China located business.

Since I suspect there are probably voluminous unanswered customer inquiries by this point, I’m not confident of ever getting a response to my three inquiries. So I suppose I’ll wait until the media reports that the government of China has eased the lockdowns before attempting to contact them again. None of this bodes well for badassworkroom, though. If they are in a lock downed city, chances are the manufacturing backlog is as great as the backlog of unanswered customer inquiries, which means it’s unlikely their enviable past rapid delivery performance will continue at least for the foreseeable future. So, if Thumper’s review of the BA-31P or my review of the BA-12 piqued your interest in badassworkroom chastity devices, you might take a step back and reconsider ordering from them at present. I suspect the automated system will accept your order and payment, but who knows when you could ever expect to receive your device?

In the greater scheme, maybe the access to affordable, quality made custom chastity devices delivered at unheard of speed isn’t a big deal. But this certainly casts doubt on Chinese companies as a whole as dependable retail partners, as long as the nation’s government persists in pursuing its unrealistic and unobtainable zero COVID policy. All I know is I’m not ordering from the badassworkroom again as long as the radio silence persists.

Despite what I’ve shared here, I still consider myself a satisfied badassworkroom customer, as far as my first device purchase. And I believe they have earned the benefit of the doubt, so I’ll say here I assume the current disappointing situation results from something beyond the company’s control. However, after raving about the company’s customer service in my positive recent review, fairness dictated alerting readers to the current circumstances. And, if things change, I’ll certainly report it.

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Mail Call: A Question About Chastity Cage Inner Diameter

By on Saturday, May 7, 2022

In this edition of Mail Call, I answer a question about chastity cage inner diameter.

Mail call! I dug deep into my spam folder for this one, so apologies for my untimely reply to the guy who asked the question. I still haven’t figured out how to get Gmail to play nice with my contact form. More often than not, the messages go to spam. I try to remember to check regularly, but I’ve had a lot of projects going on lately. So, sorry about that. If you have Twitter, you can always DM me there with your questions or comments.

Anyway, to the question. Brandon writes:

 

“Hey there I’m new to chastity and have bought 3 cages for myself. One is still on its way. The 2 I have are a CB6000S and a Ternence ‘window of opportunity’ 1.97 inch. The tube diameter is too small for the penis. I was able to fit into the Ternence with lots of lube. I realized I have alot of foreskin below the head (circumcised) that get in the way of the penis fitting in the tube. Also getting totally flaccid isn’t easy but it isn’t fully erect either. What’s the problem and where do I go from here?”

  

Hi Brandon, 

My first question would be, did you take the time to accurately measure your peen before ordering the cages you mentioned? Sometimes,depending on the design of the device, guys have to use the “stocking method” to coax their penises all the way into a cage or tube. However, it should never be necessary to use any lube, much less lots, to accomplish that. That’s a good sign that the cages you mentioned are too tight. Even if you manage to get into it, it could be the cage is exerting continuous compression on your penis, even when it’s flaccid. You don’t want that. You don’t want a lot of extra space inside a cage (inner diameter or length) but it shouldn’t feel tight as soon as you put it on, or try.

The thing is, mass-produced chastity devices, including the two you’ve bought, are designed for guys with average size penises. Average penis flaccid diameter (circumference divided by pi) is a few decimal places over 1.20 inches (about 31mm). The Ternence you mentioned has an inner diameter of about 32mm (1.25 inches). The CB6000S has an inner diameter of about 35mm (1-3/8 or 1.375 inches). So both are well within the range that works for guys with average size penises. Since that doesn’t seem to be the case with you, you’re probably looking at buying a custom-made cage that fits your actual measurements. Happily, today there are many affordable custom-made cages available. And I suspect you’ve already spent at least half the cost of a customized cage on the three cages you’ve already bought. Why keep throwing good money after bad?

As far as the excess foreskin, I have the same thing and have never found it a problem with a well-fitted cage. I’m average and a 1-3/8 inches inner diameter cage or tube fits me perfectly. I can get into a 1.25 inches cage, but it feels tighter than I like.

Yes, for some guys, a chastity device can be something of a fetish object, which might explain why you get hard while trying to put one on and that makes things difficult. The obvious answer is to ejaculate before you put a cage on, and problem solved. Otherwise, a cold shower or holding a bag of frozen peas against your unruly member for a couple of minutes will probably do the trick.

So, in summary. My advice is to measure your penis before ordering another cage that doesn’t work for you. I suggest measuring your flaccid peen three times a day over three days. Then either take an average, or do what I do and go with the smallest measurement you get. You can use a short length of string (the string method) or a shoelace. Wrap it around your soft shaft and then use a ruler or tape measure to measure the length of the string used. Or, even easier, use a soft tailor’s tape and save a step. Remember, the result will be the circumference of your flaccid penis, so divide that by pi (3.14) to get diameter. That’s the measurement that corresponds to the inner diameter of a chastity cage or tube.

Hope that helps and good luck, bud. Thanks for the question.

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OXY Shop Monthly Keyholder Service Try Out

By on Wednesday, May 4, 2022

My one-month Oxy Shop monthly Keyholder service try out has begun...

Did you think I forgot my promise to try out the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service? Well, if anyone did, I can’t blame you. I purchased one month of the service back in February and had planned to start the trial on March 1. But stuff got in the way. First, I had several chastity devices to wear-test and review. Then, my annual check-up with my doctor came in April. She is a super nice, insanely attractive woman who I like very much and wouldn’t dream of springing the surprise of my male chastity lifestyle on unannounced when it comes time to drop your pants, turn your head, and cough. So, I always unlock for the hour or so I spend at her office. Then I procrastinated a few more days after that, and finally, I emailed the Oxy Shop on May 2 and told them I was ready to start.

Impressive Customer Service from Oxy Shop

I’m trying this remote keyholder partly to satisfy my curiosity about how well it works but also as a service to readers who don’t have a keyholder and might be interested in a month-to-month remote service. Once I complete the month, I’ll post a full review of the service with my honest opinions. But I’ll provide updates as the month progresses when I feel it’s warranted.


Things got off to a great start with my future review in mind when I received a quick response to my emailed request to begin. I emailed Oxy Shop in the late evening on May 2 and received an email from the supervising Mistress on the morning of May 3. I always appreciate good customer service.

How the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service Begins

In the past, when I’ve used remote keyholder services provided by Pro-Dommes, I’ve always used the plastic numbered locks and sent “proof of lock” images. Some require you to hold up a newspaper to verify the date in the photo. Then, they make unannounced checks by requiring you to send another proof of lock photo from time to time to keep you honest. The Oxy Shop service uses a slightly different system which I’ll explain later.

Frankly, I’m not too fond of the numbered plastic locks. Most of my stainless devices tend to rotate excessively when not secured with the lock provided with them by the manufacturer. And you can’t use them with most devices that use a MagicLock. Something that impressed me immediately about the Oxy Shop service is they give you a free stainless steel key safe and a supply of numbered plastic tags when you sign up for your first month. You insert your key into the safe and secure that with the plastic numbered lock, which leaves you free to use your usual lock on the chastity device.

Now, back to the system, the Oxy Shop Mistress uses for lock verification purposes. In the email I received from the Mistress, she required several things as proof of lock.

  • The expected image with the chastity device locked on. And she required I write a phrase on a sheet of paper and hold it up while taking the photo. Also, I had to hold up the key safe in the photo, showing the key inside was secured with a plastic numbered lock.
  • The Mistress also required me to send a video of me locking up. This is the first time I’ve ever had a pro keyholder who required that.

 

So, the keyholder at Oxy Shop requires a little more at the start than the other professionals I’ve used, but I didn’t find the requirements unreasonable. The only problem was I rarely make videos. While I know how to shoot videos with my iPhone, they are very large files, usually too large to attach to an email. And my simple one-minute video was far too large. So, I had to quickly learn about video compression and source an app to do it with. But, again, I didn’t find it particularly burdensome to make the video and then compress the file so I could attach it to an email reply. But wait, the periodic checks aimed at keeping you from cheating are also different from anything any Pro-Domme has ever required me to do before.

The Periodic Checks

Daily I must submit proof of lock photos while holding up a sheet of paper I’ve written other required phrases on (different each day) along with the key safe to show I haven’t tampered with the plastic numbered lock. And, every other day, I have to submit another video showing I’m still locked securely and that I haven’t tampered with the plastic numbered lock. Okay, it’s not particularly onerous, but that’s a lot of verification. During my thirty days of enforced chastity in February, my Mistress only required one image per week, proving I was still locked securely. And she required no videos.

So, if you consider using the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service, know that they are serious about preventing any cheating.
They also want control of both keys. But I found only one key fits inside the key safe they supplied. The instruction email from the Mistress said to secure both keys in the safe. So, I broke my spare key in half to render it unusable and included that in the video and the photo and hope that meets the requirement. It should since now the only key I have that opens the lock is secured inside the key safe with a numbered plastic lock.

The Mistress also explained in the instruction email that she “may ask” me for additional evidence I’m still securely locked at any time to prevent cheating.  So, yes, they are serious. But I’m okay with all of it since it only serves to make the experience more interesting and I never cheat when locked for a Mistress, anyway.

More Fun Stuff

In addition to the keyholding, the Mistress ended the email by promising “a few” tasks during the month to keep things interesting. I’m curious to see what’s in store and how many teasing tasks she provides. I was under the impression the keyholder only offered one teasing task per month, but “a few” obviously means more than one.

I know I’ve been a little vague on a few points, which was intentional. I don’t feel it’s ethical to share any of the Oxy Shop or the keyholder’s proprietary information related to the keyholder service even when I write the full review. And I know from past experience with Pro-Dommes, that they don’t want you sharing specifics about how they do their business. That’s understandable because they don’t want Betty Lou setting up a pro keyholder service, copying their specific system, and maybe charging less for it. So I intend to respect the rights of Oxy Shop and the Mistress to their proprietary work product by painting with a broad brush rather than publishing detailed instructions I receive. But I will give readers enough broad information to make an informed decision about the service’s usefulness and whether I think it’s worth the cost.

If getting a professional remote keyholder at a very reasonable price is something that interests you, stay tuned for future updates and expect a full review of the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service the first week of June.

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BA-12 Custom-Made Stainless Steel Chastity Device Review

By on Tuesday, May 3, 2022

The BA-12 stainless steel chastity device from badassworkroom is bad ass.

After a thirty-day wear test of the BA-12 stainless steel chastity device from badassworkroom, I came away impressed with both the device and basassworkroom’s quality workmanship. After discovering the Red Chili Sissy Cage with its dramatic ninety-degree curve, I was dying to try one. But, after trying to order one three times and learning the company wasn’t taking orders because of their backlog, I gave up. Then I learned badassworkroom manufacturers a reasonable substitute in the BA-12.

No, the design isn’t as artistic as the Red Chili device. No surprise there as Red Chili alone stands at the pinnacle of the “chastity devices as art” niche. But when the BA-12 hit my mailbox, it immediately impressed me. Not only did the BA-12 mimic the dramatic downward angle I love so much about the Red Chili Sissy Cage, it is one beautiful, well-made chastity device.

While badassworkroom is a Chinese company, I’ve never seen this level of quality workmanship in a made in China chastity device. But, of course, badassworkroom is a maker of custom-made devices, not the one-size-fits-all mass-produced devices you find on Amazon, eBay, and other discount retailers. And the BA-12 is every bit as good as any custom-made device I own.

The image above reflects the specs of the BA-12 I ordered and the dimensions correspond with my personal measurements. And I’m happy to say, the device fits me like a glove. Of course, should you be interested in ordering one, badassworkroom can tailor all three dimensions to your specific needs. So you provide measurements for the chastity cage overall length, penis tube inner diameter, and base ring inner diameter when ordering to ensure the perfect fit.

The only measurement you must pay particular attention to is the chastity cage’s overall length. Since I have an average size peen, I planned to order a slightly shorter cage. But before placing the order, I chatted with a representative at badassworkroom and learned a thing or two about cages with a ninety-degree curve.

As he explained, if you want the full ninety-degree angle, there isn’t much flexibility in overall length. If you go too short on the length, they can’t build you a cage that has exactly a ninety-degree angle. That’s not something the manufacturer can control since it’s purely the product of a complicated mathematical formula. There is a minimum length required in order for them to fabricate a cage with a true right angle. So if you order a cage length shorter than the minimum, then the angle will be less than a full ninety degrees.

The rep calculated several length options for me, based on the cage length I had intended ordering and we agreed 82mm was as short as we could go and still get close to the right angle I wanted. That was acceptable since I’d planned to order a cage length of 80mm, anyway. And at 82mm, only 2mm longer, the company could deliver me a cage that has about an eighty-eight degree curve. So, as far as the look and feel, you can’t tell it isn’t a true right angle.

BA-12 Stainless Steel Chastity Device Physical Details

The manufacturer builds the device from Grade 316L surgical stainless steel. They buff the surface before shipping and the appearance of the BA-12 compares most favorably to that of the stainless steel devices I’ve ordered from other custom chastity device custom manufacturers.

The base ring is the standard circular type, though the stock they used to fabricate the base ring isn’t quite as thick as that used for most made in China devices. That is a plus since it reduces overall weight slightly and provides a comfortable fit.

The “MagicLock” supplied with the BA-12, that they refer to as a “stealth lock,” is unique. It’s different from those usually supplied with chastity devices. First, instead of brass, the lock is manufactured from the same stainless steel as the device. I don’t know if badassworkroom builds the locks or sources them elsewhere since I didn’t think to ask. Also, the lock is slightly longer than the “MagicLock” you usually see. So you can’t substitute an ordinary brass “MagicLock” you got with some other device for the one supplied with the BA-12 because it will be too short and won’t work.

The supplied stealth lock works smoothly and since it’s stainless steel, it has the similar anti-corrosion properties as a brass lock. The downside is if you ever need a replacement, you’ll have to go back to badassworkroom to source a new one. Or, when ordering a BA-12, you can opt for one of the other lock alternatives. Besides the concealed “MagicLock” I ordered, the company also offers a padlock, proprietary security screw, or either of those, plus a “permanent lock” option. If you chose that option, you will have to destroy the device to remove it if you ever decide you don’t wish to wear it permanently after all.

BA-12 Stainless Steel Chastity Device Use

The BA-12 is a standard ball-trapping device. You insert your testicles and scrotum into the base ring, slide the penis cage on, mate the two components, and lock up. The BA-12 feels very secure, but by now I’m sure you’ve already heard my standard ball-trapping device disclaimer. Complete security with any of these devices is only illusionary unless you combine a PA piercing with the device to eliminate the possibility of escape. That brings me to the next point.

Like similarly designed open-cage type chastity devices, there is no option offered for PA wearers. I’ve known pierced guys who had come up with some ingenious do-it-yourself ways to incorporate their PA for added security. But the fact remains, this device isn’t designed with any PA option in mind. Still, with the appropriate degree of suspension of belief, I rate the BA-12 as secure as any other stainless steel device I’ve tried. I had no ball slippage issues with the device, which means the standard factory set gap works great for me and probably will for ninety percent of the other guys out there.

Precautions to Consider While Wearing the BA-12

As with any ball-trapping male chastity device, choosing the proper size base ring is important. The worst that can happen if you choose a ring that’s too large is the locked device might come off or be too easily escaped. However, choosing a ring that is too small can cause significant problems, including compromising your circulation. As a rule of thumb, skin discoloration or skin temperature of the scrotum that feels cooler than normal body temperature are indications of reduced circulation. Wearing a base ring that interferes with circulation is asking for a serious medical issue. When wearing a male chastity device, you should always be able to insert a fingertip between the base ring and your skin. If you can’t, the ring is too small and may impair circulation.

Comfort and Feel of Wearing the BA-12

Oh my God, I love, love, love the look and feel of this ninety-degree device. It’s everything I had imagined when I first set my heart on getting a right angle cage. Here are a two images of the device doing its thing, one a side view where you can see the dramatic downward curve.

The device is very comfortable to wear, which might seem counterintuitive since it puts your peen at such a dramatic downward angle. But I haven’t found it feels any different from any other device I’ve worn as far as comfort goes. And my flaccid peen stays in the proper position. It doesn’t, for example, get stuck higher in the cage when it contracts. Once it expands again, the tip returns right back to the bottom of the cage. I’m more than satisfied with my purchase and feel the device is worth every penny.

Hygiene Concerns When Wearing the BA-12

Hygiene concerns when wearing the BA-12? There are none. The open-style design makes keeping the cage and contents clean a snap with a handheld shower head. It isn’t necessary to remove the device for cleaning unless you wish to do so. I wore it for thirty straight days, noticing no unpleasant odors or any skin issues the day I removed it. Ease in maintaining good hygiene is why I prefer open-style cage devices over those that have closed tubes.

Because of the right angle, I didn’t even experiment with trying to urinate while standing. To avoid the chance of a mess, I sat on the toilet to do my business with this device.

Final Thoughts

I can’t say enough about the quality of the workmanship badassworkroom puts into its devices. The quality is every bit as good as that of the two Mature Metal devices I currently own. The company has many interesting designs and I know already this will not be my last chastity device purchase from badassworkroom. Also, their customer service is second to none. I received several emails with updates on my order, and I received the device within three weeks’ time, even though the national Chinese New Year celebration when all businesses in the country shut down for the holiday took place while the company was filling my order.

I paid $230 for my BA-12, but noticed the price has since increased to $250. But even with the increase, compare that with the base cost of a Mature Metal Bird, currently $330 at the time I published this review, and I think you’ll agree that’s quite reasonable for a custom-fitted, high-quality chastity device.

Coming Soon

By intent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity is a comprehensive look at male chastity from all the major aspects. But for a while now, I’ve wanted to offer a companion book for those who don’t care so much about the what, when, and why behind male chastity, but only want a concise how-to book that will take them from choosing a properly fitted chastity device to putting it on for the first time to adjusting to wearing it for gradually longer periods.

I’ve finally written that book. Male Chasity Training isn’t a rehash of the information in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity. It’s original writing that focuses only on the basics of taking a guy from beginner to doing male chastity like a boss in four short weeks. This book, a quick start guide to male chastity training, will be a helpful resource both for guys who want to try male chastity and for inexperienced first-time keyholders looking to learn how to safely and effectively supervise their man’s chastity.

At least for now, I’m making the eBook version available only on Amazon because so many Kindle Unlimited subscribers choose to read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity. So I thought, why not make the book available to read free by KU subscribers too? I will also offer the book in paperback for those who prefer to read actual printed books.

If this is a book that interests you, watch for the announcement when the book becomes available soon.   

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