A Key Holder Who Gets You

By Chaste on Tuesday, May 16, 2023

While I’m grateful to every key holder I’ve had, there is just something magical about having a key holder who gets you.

Having practiced chastity for a while now, I’ve had several keyholders, all professionals and all remotely. And while I liked and respected them all and found our interactions satisfying and enjoyable, in every case, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on always seemed to miss the mark. When I thought about it, I naturally assumed it was the remote arrangement. After all, there is only so much that a person can give or receive virtually. The arrangement comes with its inherent limitations. Or so I always believed.

My new key holder is an exception to the rule I held previously. I’ll call her Lucie henceforth instead of referring to her generically as “my key holder” or “Mistress.” That’s not her true name nor her professional moniker, which also isn’t her actual name. But as part of our arrangement, we agreed to respect each other’s privacy, and she doesn’t permit me to use her professional name here or to reveal any specifics about our interactions.

Mistress Lucie’s view is that while she trades a real service for money, our interactions are still intimate and personal, and deserve to be treated accordingly. I agree with that and it feels good knowing she sees things the way she does. But back to the point I was about to make.

Yes, virtual interaction with a key holder has limits and will never be the same as interacting with a key holder face to face. But that doesn’t mean remote keyholding can’t feel very real. I know this now after only a week with Mistress Lucie. The woman knows what makes men tick sexually. And in the space of a week, she has already learned what makes me tick specifically. She uses that knowledge to tailor the teasing to my individual predilections to devastating effect.

After our session yesterday, I’m suffering the effects of the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had and am still impossibly horny. Yet on a scale of one to five, my feelings of sexual frustration are closer to zero than one. The heightened desire and arousal are so

amazingly pleasurable. And I’d never trade what I’m feeling right now for fleeting moments of jouissance. That’s because I’m feeling the purest pleasure of all. The pleasure of knowing I’m doing her will.

I don’t say this to disparage any of my past key holders, all of whom had their own impressive strengths, but I’ve experienced nothing close to what I’m experiencing now. The relationship dynamic between one who is locked and any key holder will always be unique. But in my estimation, Mistress Lucie is without peer. I’ll offer an example.

I’ve always been deferential to my past sexual partners. Giving them pleasure was always as important, if not more important, to me than my pleasure. I suppose I’m just wired that way. And the same has been true with my key holders. I wanted them to lock me, to own my penis, to decide when or if I got sexual release. But it was always vitally important to me they got something in return beyond the tributes I paid. I wanted to suffer for them, but I wanted them to enjoy making me suffer, if that makes sense. And I’ve found that true with Mistress Lucie like never before.

During our first conversation, she told me she was a true sadist and a few minutes later proved it to me if I had any doubts. I could see it in her eyes when she told me to do something I found quite painful. Mistress Lucie also told me she enjoys small penis humiliation (SPH) and CBT. We discussed that, and I admitted that neither were kinks I enjoyed, but I couldn’t honestly claim they were limits. So, both are part of our interactions because she enjoys them, possibly even more because she knows I don’t.

I submit to the SPH and CBT because it’s a way to show deference to her and to allow her to get something more from our interactions than just a tribute. Weirdly, because I know she gets pleasure from subjecting me to SPH and CBT, I get pleasure from it too precisely because it pleases her. Her pleasure becomes my pleasure. The SPH doesn’t harm my self-esteem since I know the size of my penis falls within the bell curve of average. And I can’t deny having her ridicule the size of my penis doesn’t make me twitch inside the cage. The same is true of the CBT, and to her credit, she keeps it a level she knows I can handle knowing pain isn’t my thing.

It feels truly amazing having a key holder who gets you. Not because she gives me what I need, but because with each passing day, my desire to serve her grows ever stronger. The longer we are together, the less inward my focus. The more I know her, the less the cage represents a constant reminder of my penis and what I’m giving up and more a symbol of her ownership. I’m grateful for that and for her.

The Air Lock Has Landed

I received the Air Lock from KINK3D yesterday. It works great, but I found it a little tricky getting the plastic numbered lock in place even while holding the Cobra in my hand. I’m wondering just how difficult it will be with the Cobra attached to my body.

The end of the lock must pass out through the little hole in the device lock housing on the left side. The problem is the plastic is so stiff that it resists making the bend to exit through the hole. Instead, it just bumps up against the interior housing. I had to coax it out with a toothpick, which would be much more difficult to do while wearing the device.

Lucie likes it and will allow me to wear the Cobra with the air lock when it suits her to let me change devices. Of course, no clue when it will suit her.

chastity keyholders

Chastity Keyholding For Dummies

By Chaste on Sunday, June 7, 2020

This post, Chastity Keyholding For Dummies, is for the ladies, ladies whose male partners have come to them with a strange request: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?” Please understand I’d never apply the term “dummy” to any woman. Having been raised with good manners, I have always treated women with respect, even deference. The title of the post is meant only to illustrate my intention to take women who know little or nothing at all about male chastity and help them learn what a keyholder is and why they might want to be one.

If you are a woman reading this post, chances are your husband, boyfriend, lover, or whatever has asked you to lock him in a chastity device and to become his keyholder. You probably arrived here while doing your own research to learn what chastity is exactly and why the man in your life seems so excited by the idea of wearing a chastity device.

Or, perhaps, your partner directed you to this post and asked you to read it. Regardless, you likely came here with many questions. If you are utterly new to male chastity, this might be your first question. “What is a chastity keyholder?” Running a close second may be the question, “Why in the world would I want to be a keyholder?” I will answer those questions and many more in this post.

What Is A Keyholder

Simply put, a keyholder is a term for someone who holds the key to the chastity device of another. A keyholder can be anyone, as long as that person consents to the role. Some may assume a keyholder is always a female. That’s not true. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can fill the position. But most commonly, a keyholder is the caged male’s wife, girlfriend, or sexual partner.

The keyholder has a position of great power. Because a keyholder controls access to a chastity device, they also, by extension, control the genitals of their partner. That means they decide when or if their partner can achieve sexual gratification. At its most basic, keyholding is about control, taking control of a man sexually. I’ll explain why this is important later.

The Basics of Male Chastity

Most women describe their initial reactions when their partner tells them he wishes them to lock him in a chastity device with words like “shock” and “confusion.” Let’s try to clear that away.

The motivation behind why a guy wants to wear a chastity device and to have his partner control him sexually is uncomplicated. At first blush, when your partner first approached you about chastity, you may have thought it was only the latest kinky sex thing he had found on the Internet and wanted to try to spice up things in the bedroom. It may have sounded entirely unnatural to you, something you weren’t interested in at all. It didn’t seem sexy. In reality, it seemed kind of stupid, very stupid, boring, and pointless.

But actually, being sexually controlled by a woman is a pervasive male fantasy shared by many men. That means chastity probably isn’t just the latest in a long line of kinky sex things your partner stumbled across on the Internet. If your man has asked you to put him in chastity, he has probably already been fantasizing about it for months, if not years.

The attraction for male chastity for most men is primarily the desire for two things—orgasm control and orgasm denial.

Orgasm Control & Denial

Orgasm control is the sexual practice where someone remains in a state of heightened arousal for an extended period without achieving climax. The expectation for experiencing this lengthened final stage of arousal is that it will amplify the sensations of an eventual orgasm.

Orgasm denial is the sexual practice of experiencing or allowing someone else to experience a high level of sexual pleasure for an extended period without experiencing orgasm. Most of us would agree that orgasms are seriously pleasurable experiences. Why would anyone wish to be denied orgasms deliberately? Because having a partner holding you back or forbidding you to come intentionally can lead to amplified erotic fantasies and heighten the anticipation of climax.

The attraction of orgasm control and denial for men who wish to be put in chastity is not that they want only to have their orgasms limited or denied, they also want a partner to subject them to intense sexual teasing. Sexual teasing combined with orgasm delay or denial for a male increases his testosterone levels and the sensitivity in his genitals. Increasing testosterone and sensitivity stimulates his sex drive and leads to stronger orgasms when he does orgasm.

It Sounds So Selfish

Interest in practicing chastity among men has exploded in recent years. The increased interest likely is the result of male chastity devices becoming more readily available and at significantly lower prices. While male chastity might still not yet be mainstream, it is definitely moving in that direction. What was once something practiced only by submissive men involved in BDSM, is now increasingly being practiced by average, everyday men who may not have a kinky bone in their bodies.

At this point, you may be thinking; male chastity sounds selfishly motivated, just like every other aspect of the weird world of male sexuality. It’s yet another thing your partner wants you to do for him so that he gets sexual gratification. No thanks! Sure, it is selfishly motivated. I won’t insult your intelligence by denying it. If you agree to put your partner in chastity and to become his keyholder, he will get what he wants. But, there is so much more because male chastity produces some rather startling changes in men that will directly benefit the keyholder. Putting your partner in chastity can be an opportunity for you to get more enjoyment from your sex life, not just something he has asked you to do to keep him happy.

Those Were The Days

Remember when you first met your husband or partner, and he worked so hard trying to win your affections and to persuade you to have a relationship with him? He was so affectionate. All he wanted was to spend time with you. He hung on your every word. There was nothing he was unwilling to do to make you happy. Then, once you married or got into a relationship with him, everything changed. Like singer Paula Cole says it in her song, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone,” “I am wearing my new dress tonite, but you don’t even notice me. Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending? Where have all the cowboys gone?”

Not to discount the sincere love and affection I’m confident your partner felt for you at the time, his primary motivation back then during the courting phase was that he found you sexually attractive and wanted you as a sexual partner. That’s a sad yet accurate commentary on the male sex drive. It’s also unfortunate that over time, once a relationship has been established, passions cool, and the romance fades. What would you say if I told you, male chastity could reverse that? It can turn back the clock on your relationship with your partner to where it feels you’re in that romantic courtship phase all over again. How is that possible, you ask? Please read on.

A male whose sexuality is locked up in a chastity device is denied orgasm, sexual pleasure of any kind, and even the sensation of a normal erection. Chastity works in many ways. It changes a man’s moods, demeanor, and libido. Most importantly, it transforms his desire to please his partner when she holds the key to his chastity device.

It isn’t that it becomes his goal to do more around the house like cooking, cleaning, or the laundry, but you will find that he will do one or more of these things as he continues the build-up of his sexual energy. Unable to channel this pent up sexual energy through his genitals, by necessity, he diverts that energy towards pleasing you.

As his keyholder and the sole source of his sexual pleasure, he will once again become wholly focused on you. He will adore you and love you in the way he did when you first met, and he will be eager to please you in every way. Why does this happen?

The increase in sexual tension produced by chastity increases a man’s testosterone levels giving him a significant energy boost. Research studies on the effect of increased testosterone levels on male sexuality have identified testosterone as the major “courtship inducer.” We might define “courtship” as the amount of effort a male is willing to put into gaining the favor of a female. The courtship mode is induced when a male’s testosterone levels are increased by fifty-percent or more through an extended non-ejaculatory period of at least seven days. Since the purpose of a male chastity device is to enforce non-ejaculatory periods, they yield the spontaneous initiation of courtship.

The takeaway is, by putting your man in chastity, he will become more attentive to your needs, more affectionate, and more willing to do whatever you ask when he believes it will make you happy. Have you ever felt your partner was most focused on having his sexual needs satisfied during sex and that your satisfaction was a distant second consideration, if a consideration at all? Male chastity can completely reverse that. Yes, your partner will still crave sexual pleasure, denial of his orgasm will sometimes feel frustrating, but even so, his primary goal will be the satisfaction of your sexual needs. Satisfying you by giving you sexual pleasure will become more important to him than his desires.

What Do I Have To Do As His Keyholder?

Perhaps after reading the previous section, you are feeling a little more curious about this whole chastity thing. The natural next question then is this. What do I have to do if I agree to be his keyholder?

You take possession of the keys, and you decide when or if your partner has orgasms. Being a keyholder does not obligate you to do any more than that.

It might be helpful to think as male chastity as a game, a game in which you, as the keyholder, make all the rules. That doesn’t mean you should lock your partner in a chastity device and throw away the key. You may want to put a little more time, effort, and imagination into it if you’re going to achieve a sexual relationship with your partner far beyond anything you’ve ever experienced or maybe even imagined possible.

Tease & Denial

Intertwined within those chastity fantasies your partner has almost surely entertained, is the part he was thinking about most when he asked you to be his keyholder. He desires you to tease him sexually in every way you can think of while denying him orgasm. And, teasing and denial is a necessity for chastity to work.

If you lock your partner in a chastity device and then ignore him, his arousal will grow for a time, but then he will reach a point where his arousal plateaus and then inevitably declines. Then chastity will no longer be something he enjoys. It also won’t be the courtship inducer that produces the behavioral changes I mentioned earlier. That’s just not how the male arousal cycle works. Orgasm denial, coupled with sexual teasing is what elevates testosterone levels in men.

Teasing and denial needn’t be time-consuming. It all depends on what type of teasing, and how much of it you want to do. It’s entirely up to you. Also, by teasing, I don’t mean it is always you doing sexually pleasurable things to your partner. It also means requiring him to do sexually pleasing stuff to you while he is locked up and denied pleasure.

In a way, despite the sexual frustration, your partner wants you to be “mean” to him. By this, I mean he wants you to keep his penis locked up. He wants you to make him wait, beg, and plead for orgasms. He wants you to tease him, to deny him orgasms, and to tease him some more until his arousal is so heightened he doesn’t think he can stand it a minute longer.

Does Chastity Mean We Won’t Have Sex Anymore

For women who enjoy penetrative sex with their partners, it may seem to lock your partner’s penis in a chastity device means you will never have sex anymore. That’s not the case at all. You may not only find yourself having better sex, but having sex much more often.

You can always make him give you oral sex, or use a vibrator or dildo on you until you’ve had all the orgasms you can handle. And he will love every minute of it, especially when you don’t allow him to ejaculate. Remember when I said the keyholder makes all the rules? That applies to sex as well as everything else about chastity.

You can choose to unlock your partner for sex at any time you wish. But you may not want to allow him to come every time or even most of the time. You can have what you want, but mostly you should make him stop before he climaxes. That way, you won’t have to re-start the whole seven-days of arousing building all over to allow his testosterone levels to climb again.

One thing won’t change about your partner. Anytime you allow him to orgasm, he will revert to the guy he was before when he didn’t pay enough attention to you or your needs. It will require at least seven days under lock and key after an orgasm before you will get back the attentive, affectionate, anxious to please guy you will grow to love.

Hopefully, I have explained the basics of what a chastity keyholder is, what it means to be a keyholder, and why you might want to become one for your partner. Of course, this post covers only the basics. There is always more to learn about keyholding. In fact, entire books are devoted to it. But it is my sincere hope you learned enough from this post that you now feel confident you can make an informed decision when your male partner asks you: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?”

chastity keyholders male chastity

Ladies Start A Lucrative Chastity Keyholder Side Gig

By Chaste on Sunday, May 31, 2020

With the explosion in interest in male chastity among everyday guys, now is an excellent time for enterprising ladies to start a lucrative chastity keyholder side gig.

The Market

There are lots of single guys out there who want to start wearing chastity devices, but they don’t have partners to ask to be their keyholders. Many of them are forced to go it alone. But going solo is hard and not very enjoyable for most guys.

The male brain has only a limited ability to say “no” day after day to something as strong as sexual desire. When a guy must depend on willpower alone to battle the fires in his loins, there’s a good chance he won’t last very long before taking the device off and taking things in hand. This situation presents a massive opportunity for women looking for a profitable side hustle to earn extra income.

While I’ve seen more women offering keyholding for-fee services, frankly, I’m amazed far more women aren’t jumping on the opportunity. That’s why I decided to write this post. I have no idea how many women visit Cut To The Chaste, but I’m hopeful I might persuade those who do to consider starting an online keyholding for-fee service.

What Is A Keyholder, Anyway?

Concisely put, a keyholder is a person who consents to possess the key to someone else’s chastity device physically. With a keyholder, chastity is about a guy transferring ownership of his penis to another. Literally. Once you, as a keyholder has told your client to lock his penis inside a chastity device, his penis belongs to you. It becomes your toy and exists solely for your pleasure and amusement.

You can allow your client to access and take out your toy and use it whenever you like. You can also make him lock it safely and securely back into the cage whenever you deem fit. The keyholder decides when or if a client may orgasm or enjoy sexual pleasure. She controls and denies his orgasms. This is a powerful concept and shows how much chastity and chastity play has a psychological component to it.

Eww, Isn’t Chastity Keyholding Sex Work?

Sure, I get it. Not everyone wants to be a sex worker. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But, holding the keys to a guy’s chastity cage long-distance is not sex work. There are sex workers who do it, like professional Dominatrices and Pro Dommes, but they offer a lot of other sexual-related services to go with keyholding. And most only do chastity play face-to-face sessions with their clients.

Did you know there is a specialist security service business called keyholding where a contracted security firm holds a set of keys to your commercial premises in a secure, off-site location to be used in the event of a security breach? Chastity keyholding is actually quite like that.

Being a keyholder is not about sharing intimate photos or having sexy chats with your clients. No cybersex is required. At its essence, it just about taking possession of and holding the keys to a client’s chastity device.

Of course, if you wish, there are plenty of related services you can offer your clients for additional fees. But any way you slice it, being a fee-based chastity keyholder is not sex work. It doesn’t require complying with a bunch of burdensome laws and regulations, and it’s all perfectly legal.

Why Start A Chastity Keyholding Service Side Gig

Maybe you’ve already been wondering how to make money—more money, that is.
Whether you want to get more aggressive with paying off student loans, digging yourself out of credit card debt, or paying for your next vacation, making extra money on the side is a smart strategy for working toward your goals.

There was a time when you could simply get a part-time job. But, in this era of COVID-19, that’s a lot harder to do nowadays. Also, many Americans have lost their full-time jobs thanks to the pandemic. Sadly, some of the jobs are never coming back.

Consequently, more people are getting side gigs, which allow them to set their own hours and rates. With a work from home side hustle, you’re your own boss, can decide what you do, when you do it, and how much you make.

Those individuals who were already working from home when the virus hit seem to have weathered the storm a little better than people who commuted to work every day. Owning a small business and working from home may be the future for a lot of us in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak.

Sure, there are plenty of other things you can choose from if you’re looking for a money-making side gig. But, I think you would have to look long and hard to find anything that comes even close to the small initial investment requirement and the upside growth potential of a chastity keyholder service.

How To Get Started

The good news is you probably already have the basics you need to start an online chastity keyholding service—a laptop, tablet computer, or smartphone. There are a few bells and whistles you can add to the basics, but it is possible to get started as a keyholder with no upfront investment.

Some enterprising ladies create a Twitter page and operate their keyholding service entirely on that platform. It doesn’t cost them a cent. That can work, but don’t expect to attain your full earning potential using only a dedicated Twitter account. I think it’s essential for a keyholder to establish a Twitter presence (separate from your private account), but the most successful services also have a webpage. The best practice is to use Twitter to point to your own website.

Let’s face it. Twitter was designed from the start as a minimalist social media platform. All the character limits Twitter imposes on users throughout the site makes it impossible for the owner of a keyholding service to provide enough information to potential clients to generate much interest. However, with your own website, you have unlimited space to make your service stand out, which will attract more clients.

For a website, you will need a domain name, hosting plan, and a website. Web hosts like Bluehost, the one I use, have hosting plans starting at as little as $3.95 per month. On average, the cost of a domain name is around $15.

You can use WordPress, the most popular and fully functional content management system available to build, launch, and manage a beautiful website, and WordPress is absolutely free. WordPress allows users of all levels of expertise to quickly get a website up and running using drag and drop features. If you would rather not spend money on a website, many keyholding service providers use the free website building and hosting plan offered by a company called Wix.

The Learning Curve

While wearing a male chastity device is a rather straightforward proposition, being a keyholder is a responsibility. A caged client is not only putting his pleasure but also his safety into your hands.

Unless you already know a lot about male chastity, you owe it to potential clients to learn as much as you can about male chastity devices and some of the problems that can arise when a guy wears one before offering the service. Luckily, there is a lot of information on how to be a responsible keyholder available on the Internet.

There are also many books available on the topic written by experienced female keyholders. One of them, Ladies Introduction To Male Chastity, by Jules Scot, is available as an eBook on Amazon. You can read the book free if you’re a Kindle Unlimited subscriber. Also, I have a book on the subject, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Male Chastity, that should be available in paperback by the time you read this, and that will be released in July as an eBook which will also be free to read by Kindle Unlimited subscribers.

How Much Can You Earn

As a small business owner, you can set your own rates. But, as a rule of thumb, most ladies who provide online keyholding services for between $40 and $50 per week. So, with only ten clients, you could expect to make $400 to $500 per week.

A few women charge less, and some charge more. The longer you operate a service and the more well known you become among male chastity device wearers, the higher the prices you can command.

How You Get Paid

Some online keyholders require payment in cash. Transactions can be conducted using PayPal or smartphone apps like Square Cash. Others accept payment only via digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon. All anyone needs to send you an Amazon gift card from nearly anywhere in the world is your email address. Some women accept cash or gift cards. They leave it up to their clients to choose how they pay. Obviously, as a service provider, you must require payment before providing your services.

Keep It Private

To maintain your privacy, choose a nom de guerre, a pseudonym, for your public presence on websites and social media. Many women use “Goddess” or “Mistress” in front of their assumed business name, which helps potential clients recognize the service you are offering. Also, create an email account to use specifically for your keyholding service for interactions with prospective clients.

How To Find Clients

Clients will find you by Googling search terms like “chastity keyholders” or “chastity keyholder service” if you have a website. They will also find you on social media platforms like Twitter if you maintain a social media presence. If you start a keyholding service or already have one, if you fill in the form on my contact page and let me know, I’ll be happy to list your service and contact details free right here on this site.

Online chastity keyholder services address a growing niche market. If you’re looking for a side gig to earn extra money, you might want to consider starting your own service.

pro-domme key holders

Chastity with a long-distance key holder

By Chaste on Saturday, January 4, 2020

If you’re unaware, I am utilizing the key holding services of a woman who lives quite a long distance from me. LJ is a pro-domme who specializes in providing chastity services.

Since I didn’t know anyone locally to act as my key holder when I settled on the idea of exploring male chastity, a key holding service was the only realistic option. I didn’t feel I’d find self-imposed chastity to be particularly compelling. I’ve seen a few other key holding services options on the webs, but they seem far too impersonal. I didn’t find those options any more attractive than going it solo.

I learned of LJ from someone I’d become familiar with in the male chastity scene who recommended her highly. After contacting LJ, she agreed to take me on board for the thirty-day trial we’re now engaged in. If at the end of the thirty days, if we seem a good fit and both agree, there is the option to extend the arrangement indefinitely.

Frankly, I’ve been very pleased with the experience so far. I think it fair to say my expectations have been far and away exceeded on nearly every level. For example, I didn’t expect LJ to be so personable and genuinely concerned about my health and welfare. After all, she provides the same service to lots of other men. I supposed she likely looked at it mostly as a job, and that I’d be just another guy on an assembly line of guys who wanted a woman to lock their dicks in a cage. It hasn’t been that way at all.

In fact, at times, I never even think about the other guys. LJ is great at making you feel you’re the only guy she holds a key for. She has also been far more generous with her time than I ever expected. She has a way about her that makes you feel you’re special to her, even though realistically you probably aren’t. So, it has been all good.

As time has passed, I’ve started to develop a genuine liking for LJ and even an emotional attachment for her after a fashion. No, I’m not developing a romantic crush on her, as I’m well aware of the dynamics and limitations of this partnership we now share. But, I think it fair to say I’m starting to think of LJ as a friend. At least as much as it is possible to form a friendship with someone you only know on the webs.

I’m happy with the circumstances as they are, for the most part. The cost is nominal in my estimation, and the fact is I feel I get far more from the arrangement than I’m paying for the services. That’s not to say there aren’t some real limitations involved in chastity with a long-distance key holder. There are, but maybe not what you might think if you’ve never had an arrangement with a pro-domme.

Ease of cheating

The opportunity to cheat, to have illicit orgasms, is likely the most obvious shortcoming most people would think of when it comes to long-distance chastity enforcement. I’ve read on the webs many accounts by guys about how easily they can remove their ball trapping cages without unlocking them while soaped up in the shower. I suppose it is very possible to do that. In fact I can see how it is easy with certain cages.

Looking at my cage, I can imagine I might be able with enough lubrication to withdraw my penis. But, I’d never try to do it. First, because the fear of not being able to get it back in properly is too great. LJ uses plastic numbered locks as a measure to prevent cheating. If I withdrew my cock to play with it and couldn’t get it back into the cage, I’d be forced to cut the lock. Then I’d have to devise a lie to explain to LJ how I had to remove the cage due to some fictional emergency to conceal what I had done. I’m not going to lie to her. And, I’m resolved not to cheat. A few moments of pleasure is not worth sacrificing my integrity. Of course, it isn’t necessary to remove the cage or pull out of it to cheat.

Lacking onsite monitoring, nothing is stopping me from grabbing a Hitachi Magic Wand and going to town. I could treat myself to orgasms as often as I felt the need or wanted one. The lock would remain intact, and LJ would be none the wiser. But, again, I’m not tempted to cheat by any means.

No one tricked or persuaded me to try chastity. It was my idea. I sought LJ out to help me explore it. If I cheated, I’d not only be cheating LJ by not living up to our agreement, I’d be denying myself of the experience I want. So, there is no real motivation to cheat. I want to learn what chastity is really like. Actually, the plastic locks aren’t even necessary in my case. Even with the cage padlocked and an emergency key in my possession, I certain I’d never unlock to cheat.

Yes, it is possible to cheat when doing chastity with long-distance enforcement. But, even if LJ and I lived together, she wouldn’t be able to monitor me 24/7. If I wanted to cheat, I could find the opportunity to do it. For those reasons, I don’t consider the ease of cheating a real limitation of long-distance key holding.

Lack of physical contact

The inability to physically pleasure your key holder; whether it be doing domestic chores, giving her massages, or servicing her sexual needs is a real negative to having a long-distance key holder. None of that is available. In a real sense I feel slogging through the attendant sexual frustration of denial would be a lot easier if I was able to at least find some pleasure in giving pleasure to LJ. For that reason alone, I do sometimes wish I had a local partner enforcing my chastity.

I’m trying to substitute for that by thinking of imaginative ways to show LJ my respect, admiration, and appreciation for all she does for me. It has already become very important to me to please her. While doing unexpected nice things for her that I come up with isn’t a perfect substitute, it does feel really good when she notices and lets me know I’ve pleased her with my efforts.

Absence of teasing

LJ never shares her plans for me in advance. So, I can’t say with certainty whether sexual teasing is simply something she has no interest in providing or whether she feels I’m too new at all this to need it as this stage. But for whatever reason, there has been no teasing or sexual play at all thus far. I readily admit that has been a disappointment.

Coming from a background in kink, I’ve always assumed that male chastity was just a sub-genre of D/s orgasm control/denial play. So, I came to chastity fully expecting my key holder would subject me to sexual teasing, maybe even extreme teasing that would leave me a sexually frustrated mess. That was part of what I hoped to explore during this chastity experience. So, it has been a bit disheartening that hasn’t been a part of my experience.

Sure, the denial alone has produced a high level of sexual arousal and frustration. But nothing I’m sure that compares with what I’d feel if subjected to regular sexual teasing. And, it’s perfectly possible to tease someone at a distance. I’ve done it myself online to girls who were into orgasm control when I was active in the kink scene. Something as simple as being told to remove the cage and perform edges would definitely have a huge effect. But, alas, to date LJ hasn’t offered even that.

I’m envious of other guys in chastity I read about whose key holding wife or partner regularly teases them in different ways to make them even hornier and more aware of their sexual denial. So it makes me curious to see whether LJ ever incorporates teasing into this before our final twenty days are up. If not, I’m definitely going to voice my concerns about the lack of teasing with her before agreeing to extend our arrangement. If it turns out teasing simply doesn’t interest her or isn’t part of her philosophy, that might mean we aren’t fundamentally compatible.

Of course, I don’t know how many guys LJ holds the keys for. From some comments she has made, I’d guess there are many. Perhaps even if she was interested in teasing, maybe it could be too time consuming to tease all the guys she has locked. Maybe it is something she reserves only for her long-term boys, or a select few of those. At any rate, it’s been dissatisfying that teasing hasn’t been a part of the experience.

Do you think it selfish of me to want the sexual teasing? Maybe. I’m not sure. But, it seems being sexually teased is an integral part of the chastity fantasy that many guys want realized. When absent, it’s noticeable. In fact, to me in almost feels like being locked and then forgotten. You start to ask yourself why you’re even putting yourself through it.

Strict denial alone isn’t really what I want. I’m not sure I could even deal with that over an extended period of time. I love the uncertainty about when or if I’ll be unlocked and allowed sexual release. But, I need to know that there at least exists a chance it’s going to happen. And, I want the teasing to make the feelings of sexual need even more urgent and profound. That’s what I was looking for when I decided to take this journey.

Certainly, I don’t feel any entitlement to insist LJ provide me with sexual teasing, especially if it simply isn’t something she is interested in offering. I haven’t any right to demand anything from her. Yet I see nothing wrong in desiring it. And, if that isn’t going to be a part of the dynamic with LJ going forward, then that probably means I’ll have to seek out a different key holder I have more compatible interests with.

In conclusion, the lack of physical contact is a limitation in having a long-distance key holder. But, I submit the ease of cheating doesn’t have to be a drawback, and the absence of sexual teasing shouldn’t be. That piece is too easy to incorporate by a key holder willing to provide it. It’s as simple as telling you to unlock and to masturbate until you edge some set number of times, or instructions to look at porn, or read some erotica. It doesn’t even require any dedicated involvement on the part of the key holder, much less the investment of any time beyond a few brief moments to give simple instructions.

Yes, I could look at porn or read erotica on my own. LJ hasn’t prohibited it. But, doing that would seem about the same as self-imposed chastity which is what I already know I don’t want.

Overall, even with the limitations, I’ve had a great experience exploring chastity with a long-distance key holder. If the lack of teasing bit could be resolved, I think it would suit me perfectly. I might not even have an interest in ever looking at another option.

If you consider going the pro-domme route, just make certain you take the time to learn enough about a prospective pro-domme key holder to feel certain she knows what she is doing. In my case, LJ has extensive knowledge and experience with key holding specifically, and male chastity in general. I’ve asked her heaps of questions from all over the show, and she always has the right answers. I was very lucky to connect with someone like her. You likely can find thousands of women on the webs offering long-distance key holding, but I’m confident you won’t find many like LJ. It’s easy to tell pretty quickly that she offers key holding services because she is personally into it, not just to make money off guys desperate to have a hot fantasy made real.

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