If you’re unaware, I am utilizing the key holding services of a woman who lives quite a long distance from me. LJ is a pro-domme who specializes in providing chastity services.
Since I didn’t know anyone locally to act as my key holder when I settled on the idea of exploring male chastity, a key holding service was the only realistic option. I didn’t feel I’d find self-imposed chastity to be particularly compelling. I’ve seen a few other key holding services options on the webs, but they seem far too impersonal. I didn’t find those options any more attractive than going it solo.
I learned of LJ from someone I’d become familiar with in the male chastity scene who recommended her highly. After contacting LJ, she agreed to take me on board for the thirty-day trial we’re now engaged in. If at the end of the thirty days, if we seem a good fit and both agree, there is the option to extend the arrangement indefinitely.
Frankly, I’ve been very pleased with the experience so far. I think it fair to say my expectations have been far and away exceeded on nearly every level. For example, I didn’t expect LJ to be so personable and genuinely concerned about my health and welfare. After all, she provides the same service to lots of other men. I supposed she likely looked at it mostly as a job, and that I’d be just another guy on an assembly line of guys who wanted a woman to lock their dicks in a cage. It hasn’t been that way at all.
In fact, at times, I never even think about the other guys. LJ is great at making you feel you’re the only guy she holds a key for. She has also been far more generous with her time than I ever expected. She has a way about her that makes you feel you’re special to her, even though realistically you probably aren’t. So, it has been all good.
As time has passed, I’ve started to develop a genuine liking for LJ and even an emotional attachment for her after a fashion. No, I’m not developing a romantic crush on her, as I’m well aware of the dynamics and limitations of this partnership we now share. But, I think it fair to say I’m starting to think of LJ as a friend. At least as much as it is possible to form a friendship with someone you only know on the webs.
I’m happy with the circumstances as they are, for the most part. The cost is nominal in my estimation, and the fact is I feel I get far more from the arrangement than I’m paying for the services. That’s not to say there aren’t some real limitations involved in chastity with a long-distance key holder. There are, but maybe not what you might think if you’ve never had an arrangement with a pro-domme.
Ease of cheating
The opportunity to cheat, to have illicit orgasms, is likely the most obvious shortcoming most people would think of when it comes to long-distance chastity enforcement. I’ve read on the webs many accounts by guys about how easily they can remove their ball trapping cages without unlocking them while soaped up in the shower. I suppose it is very possible to do that. In fact I can see how it is easy with certain cages.
Looking at my cage, I can imagine I might be able with enough lubrication to withdraw my penis. But, I’d never try to do it. First, because the fear of not being able to get it back in properly is too great. LJ uses plastic numbered locks as a measure to prevent cheating. If I withdrew my cock to play with it and couldn’t get it back into the cage, I’d be forced to cut the lock. Then I’d have to devise a lie to explain to LJ how I had to remove the cage due to some fictional emergency to conceal what I had done. I’m not going to lie to her. And, I’m resolved not to cheat. A few moments of pleasure is not worth sacrificing my integrity. Of course, it isn’t necessary to remove the cage or pull out of it to cheat.
Lacking onsite monitoring, nothing is stopping me from grabbing a Hitachi Magic Wand and going to town. I could treat myself to orgasms as often as I felt the need or wanted one. The lock would remain intact, and LJ would be none the wiser. But, again, I’m not tempted to cheat by any means.
No one tricked or persuaded me to try chastity. It was my idea. I sought LJ out to help me explore it. If I cheated, I’d not only be cheating LJ by not living up to our agreement, I’d be denying myself of the experience I want. So, there is no real motivation to cheat. I want to learn what chastity is really like. Actually, the plastic locks aren’t even necessary in my case. Even with the cage padlocked and an emergency key in my possession, I certain I’d never unlock to cheat.
Yes, it is possible to cheat when doing chastity with long-distance enforcement. But, even if LJ and I lived together, she wouldn’t be able to monitor me 24/7. If I wanted to cheat, I could find the opportunity to do it. For those reasons, I don’t consider the ease of cheating a real limitation of long-distance key holding.
Lack of physical contact
The inability to physically pleasure your key holder; whether it be doing domestic chores, giving her massages, or servicing her sexual needs is a real negative to having a long-distance key holder. None of that is available. In a real sense I feel slogging through the attendant sexual frustration of denial would be a lot easier if I was able to at least find some pleasure in giving pleasure to LJ. For that reason alone, I do sometimes wish I had a local partner enforcing my chastity.
I’m trying to substitute for that by thinking of imaginative ways to show LJ my respect, admiration, and appreciation for all she does for me. It has already become very important to me to please her. While doing unexpected nice things for her that I come up with isn’t a perfect substitute, it does feel really good when she notices and lets me know I’ve pleased her with my efforts.
Absence of teasing
LJ never shares her plans for me in advance. So, I can’t say with certainty whether sexual teasing is simply something she has no interest in providing or whether she feels I’m too new at all this to need it as this stage. But for whatever reason, there has been no teasing or sexual play at all thus far. I readily admit that has been a disappointment.
Coming from a background in kink, I’ve always assumed that male chastity was just a sub-genre of D/s orgasm control/denial play. So, I came to chastity fully expecting my key holder would subject me to sexual teasing, maybe even extreme teasing that would leave me a sexually frustrated mess. That was part of what I hoped to explore during this chastity experience. So, it has been a bit disheartening that hasn’t been a part of my experience.
Sure, the denial alone has produced a high level of sexual arousal and frustration. But nothing I’m sure that compares with what I’d feel if subjected to regular sexual teasing. And, it’s perfectly possible to tease someone at a distance. I’ve done it myself online to girls who were into orgasm control when I was active in the kink scene. Something as simple as being told to remove the cage and perform edges would definitely have a huge effect. But, alas, to date LJ hasn’t offered even that.
I’m envious of other guys in chastity I read about whose key holding wife or partner regularly teases them in different ways to make them even hornier and more aware of their sexual denial. So it makes me curious to see whether LJ ever incorporates teasing into this before our final twenty days are up. If not, I’m definitely going to voice my concerns about the lack of teasing with her before agreeing to extend our arrangement. If it turns out teasing simply doesn’t interest her or isn’t part of her philosophy, that might mean we aren’t fundamentally compatible.
Of course, I don’t know how many guys LJ holds the keys for. From some comments she has made, I’d guess there are many. Perhaps even if she was interested in teasing, maybe it could be too time consuming to tease all the guys she has locked. Maybe it is something she reserves only for her long-term boys, or a select few of those. At any rate, it’s been dissatisfying that teasing hasn’t been a part of the experience.
Do you think it selfish of me to want the sexual teasing? Maybe. I’m not sure. But, it seems being sexually teased is an integral part of the chastity fantasy that many guys want realized. When absent, it’s noticeable. In fact, to me in almost feels like being locked and then forgotten. You start to ask yourself why you’re even putting yourself through it.
Strict denial alone isn’t really what I want. I’m not sure I could even deal with that over an extended period of time. I love the uncertainty about when or if I’ll be unlocked and allowed sexual release. But, I need to know that there at least exists a chance it’s going to happen. And, I want the teasing to make the feelings of sexual need even more urgent and profound. That’s what I was looking for when I decided to take this journey.
Certainly, I don’t feel any entitlement to insist LJ provide me with sexual teasing, especially if it simply isn’t something she is interested in offering. I haven’t any right to demand anything from her. Yet I see nothing wrong in desiring it. And, if that isn’t going to be a part of the dynamic with LJ going forward, then that probably means I’ll have to seek out a different key holder I have more compatible interests with.
In conclusion, the lack of physical contact is a limitation in having a long-distance key holder. But, I submit the ease of cheating doesn’t have to be a drawback, and the absence of sexual teasing shouldn’t be. That piece is too easy to incorporate by a key holder willing to provide it. It’s as simple as telling you to unlock and to masturbate until you edge some set number of times, or instructions to look at porn, or read some erotica. It doesn’t even require any dedicated involvement on the part of the key holder, much less the investment of any time beyond a few brief moments to give simple instructions.
Yes, I could look at porn or read erotica on my own. LJ hasn’t prohibited it. But, doing that would seem about the same as self-imposed chastity which is what I already know I don’t want.
Overall, even with the limitations, I’ve had a great experience exploring chastity with a long-distance key holder. If the lack of teasing bit could be resolved, I think it would suit me perfectly. I might not even have an interest in ever looking at another option.
If you consider going the pro-domme route, just make certain you take the time to learn enough about a prospective pro-domme key holder to feel certain she knows what she is doing. In my case, LJ has extensive knowledge and experience with key holding specifically, and male chastity in general. I’ve asked her heaps of questions from all over the show, and she always has the right answers. I was very lucky to connect with someone like her. You likely can find thousands of women on the webs offering long-distance key holding, but I’m confident you won’t find many like LJ. It’s easy to tell pretty quickly that she offers key holding services because she is personally into it, not just to make money off guys desperate to have a hot fantasy made real.