The Customs and Character of the Chaste Life Through Enforced Chastity
Enforced chastity is the practice where a male consents to someone else denying him orgasms on a more or less regular basis. This is often accomplished with the use of a chastity device (or cock cage), which prevents a male from touching his penis, achieving full erections, and ejaculating. In this article, I discuss the ethos of male chastity, the customs and character of the male chaste life.
The Unbridled Male Sex Drive
Within the average male there is a tremendous drive to have sex. It’s a natural, fundamental urge that’s impossible for us to ignore, genetically programmed into us by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. While there is nothing wrong with having a healthy sex drive, the irresistible urges of our male libidos can be like a mighty river at flood stage, sweeping away everything in its path on its journey to reach the sea. One way or another, our sex drive demands release of the pent up sexual energy, not caring whether that gets achieved by destroying everything that stands in the way of us achieving sexual gratification.
Sexual Response Cycle
After a man orgasms his sexual response and desire drops precipitously to their lowest levels. But, as we know from experience, that doesn’t last long. Within twenty-four hours for most us, our sexual response and desire begins to slowly return as our prostates refill. Some guys may barely notice it at first, but within forty-eight to seventy-hours most men are ready again for some relief.
There are a lot of myths about male sexual desire, including the common belief that all men want sex all the time. I’m sure we’ve all heard the tired old trope that we men think with our penises instead of the heads on our shoulders. But it is true that most men think about and want sex more often than the average female. But let’s look now at a new myth being perpetrated today, especially in articles on the wonderful world wide web.
Women Want Sex As Often as Men?
Today we live in a society hyper-focused on equality of the genders at all costs. Instead of the freedom to appreciate the unique differences between males and females, increasingly, we are assailed by rabid social engineer keyboard warriors who insist we are all the same in every way.
For this reason you can find a lot of gibberish on the internet these days claiming that the libidos of men and women are not significantly different and that females desire sex as often as men. Wait! Whut? That has not been my experience.
I’m relying on personal anecdotal evidence here, but I’ve been it what I consider a fairly representative sample of relationships with women. That began with a marriage to a woman that was somewhat sexually repressed. During our marriage if we had sex three times a month, it was a cause for celebration.
After our divorce, I have been in only one relationship with a woman who was at least willing (if not always enthusiastic) to have sex as often as I wanted it. And of all the women I’ve had relationships since divorcing there has been only one woman who wanted sex more often than I did. She wore me flat out, but I was brave and tried never to complain.
Anyone who claims the sex drives of men and women are not materially different are simply full of crap. Either they don’t know what the hell they are talking about, or they are attempting to drive some gender equality narrative that has nothing to do with sex or libidos. Think about it. If nature had wired women to want sex as often as men, economies would collapse and civilizations would crumble because none of us would have time for anything else but sex.
The Reality of Unequal Libidos
Here’s the rub. Since most males desire sex more or less every twenty-four to seventy-two hours and most women do not, that can produce a lot of male sexual frustration. Since most of us guys don’t care to experience sexual frustration much, we to go to a reliable plan B when our partner isn’t interested. We wank, oftentimes accompanied by some motivational porn watching.
In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with masturbation, in moderation. If we’re in a relationship it can be a healthy way to fill in the gaps between our levels of sexual desire and that of a partners with a lower sex drive. It is certainly more healthy than having arguments about having sex. The problem arises when moderation goes out the window and wanking becomes an all too frequent habit. Many studies have shown that most guys masturbate daily, and some masturbate multiple times daily.
Sometimes when men masturbate excessively, it’s only because it feels so good they want to do it a lot. But, excessive masturbation can also come about because of the disparity between the sex drives of the genders. When a guy’s female partner rejects having sex with him, especially when rejection is frequent, it can feel like it is a rejection of his whole person. Also, guys may feel they are reduced to begging every time they want sex.
It’s not that we expect our partners to say yes every single time, but well, you get tired of continual rejection and having to beg. That can suck all the pleasure out of even having sex. Wanking seems a no-brainer. You get what you need without any chance of rejection and without having to beg for sex. But this too can lead to problems. It isn’t an exaggeration to say that excessive masturbation can be a relationship killer.
I’ll offer another personal anecdote. Once I was in a relationship with a woman who didn’t need or desire sex as often as I did. I often showered right before bed so I could wank because it helped me sleep better and I knew better than to expect sex. Invariably, there were times after I’d masturbated that she unexpectedly was in the mood for sex. At best, I wasn’t in the mood since I’d already satisfied my urges. Usually, I tried to accommodate her, but often wasn’t able to sustain an erection because I’d already ejaculated minutes before getting into bed. Good times.
Wanking and Porn the Silent Relationship Killers
Problems also arise for men who fall into the habit of staying up an hour or two or three to watch porn and wank after their significant other goes to bed. It starts because a guy has little confidence he will get sex, so why not stay up and get what you need? But after a while, he can become so satisfied with the porn and the wanking that he doesn’t really care whether she wants to have sex or not.
Personally, I’ve never known a woman, even a sexually liberated one, who was okay with that. They feel hurt, upset, and resentful. Soon the relationship starts to crumble. That’s because sex is not only a physical, pleasurable act for either gender. There is more to it than just getting naked and sharing a physical act. Experiencing emotional connection, closeness, and intimacy is also a large part of sex for both men and women. That is the part excessive masturbation can destroy, the very underpinnings of a successful relationship.
It Isn't Only About Sex For Men
I think I speak for many men when I say we want to be devoted to our wives or romantic partners. When a woman captures our hearts, we have an innate desire to do anything to please her and to make her feel happy and cared for. We are even willing to make sacrifices for her by making our needs secondary to her needs. This is not as unusual as some might believe. Given the right relational environment and guidance, these natural male qualities can contribute to a foundation upon which successful relationships thrive.
All most of us want in return is to feel loved and desired. We all want to feel like we matter to our partners and that our sexual organs have value to them. That’s why frequent rejection feels so damaging.
And sometimes, we want the rules and roles in the bedroom reversed. We want our partners to give the compliments, flirt with us, seduce us, and to initiate sex. This is important to us because when our partners initiate sexual activity it is the ultimate, the most clear way we feel desired.
That may seem to fly in the face of conventional wisdom. Both men and women are conditioned to seeing women’s bodies being the objects of desire. For this reason, I think many women are completely unaware that men feel this way about being desired.
Embracing The Ethos of Male Chastity
If what I’ve expressed here strikes a chord with you, exploring the ethos of male chastity might be for you. The practice of chastity, enforced by your partner, can transform your relationship in ways you may find unimaginable.
A woman who locks her man’s penis in a chastity device can expect to gain a more caring and attentive lover. Chastity can help a man learn to be humble, servant-minded, and more attuned to his instinctual male nature to lovingly yield his heart to his partner and to discover that her pleasure can become his greatest pleasure.
For many men, wearing a cock cage can become not only a reflection of their value but also a feeling of acceptance by their partner and a near immediate fulfillment of their need to feel desired.
The chaste life, while difficult at first and something that requires an adjustment period, offers so much more than the fleeting seconds of pleasure a guy gets from ejaculating semen every twenty-four to seventy-hours. So, if trying chastity has been something you’ve thought about but you’ve never taken the first step, maybe now is the time to sit down with your wife or romantic partner to have a serious talk about enforced male chastity.
First Steps
If you’re curious about male chastity and what it can do for you and your relationship, don’t put it off any longer. Take the first steps toward embracing the chaste life. On our chastity device review page, you can read reviews of a variety of chastity devices. Some of the custom-made models require a significant investment. But you will also find reviews for many well-made cock cages that cost lest than a hundred bucks and others that cost less than $20. An inexpensive device is often the best choice for a guy just getting started.
Next, do some reading. You will find many informative articles on this website aimed at beginners. There are also now many great books available on the topic of male chastity. Besides my book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity, I recommend Locked in Love by Key Barrett. Once you’ve read these books, they are both great for passing off to your partner when you feel ready to have the chastity talk with her. If you’re a guy ready to re-imagine your relationship, don’t put it off any longer. Take those first steps now.
