Prepping for Locktober

By Chaste on Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Only twelve days remain before the start of the holy month of Locktober, the crown jewel of male chastity. In less than two weeks, determined (or forced) penis owning humans everywhere hope to be on their metal as they face the annual 31-day crucible that will reveal whether they possess the classical virtue of fortitude — or not. Whoever takes part in Locktober this year, I will certainly be among them.

As Locktober draws nigh, I’ve felt increasingly anxious about what Lucie has planned. Not that I’ve doubted for a moment that we would take part in Locktober. My concern was more about whether she had any plan to unlock me and allow me a release before October 1. After all, by month’s end, she will have kept me locked for 88 days and orgasm free for 154 days, all while subjecting me to intense teasing that at times has bordered on cruelty. Just when I had girded myself last Sunday to broach the subject, Lucie brought it up first.

After telling me she had been thinking about Locktober and was much looking forward to our first Locktober together, she informed me she had a prepping for Locktober plan to ease us into it. Lucie then said she was replacing our current teasing and denial program with a new ten to fourteen day prepping program, during which she would give me two chances to earn a release. So far, so good. But then she crushed my hopes by adding this caution.

“But it is very possible that you will fail both opportunities. Then you would have to go into Locktober without a release.”

When she first mentioned giving me two opportunities to earn a release, I admit to feeling suspicious. That’s because after four months, I have learned well how her devious mind works. Munificence is not among Lucie’s many endearing attributes. Of course, that isn’t her fault. She is a proper sadist and what sadist is a sadist who misses any opportunity to deal out mental cruelty to her chastity slave? So, I strongly suspect Lucie has some trick up her sleeve that guarantees I’ll fail whatever opportunities for release she offers. And, of course, she didn’t offer any details about the “opportunities.” As Lucie is fond of reminding me:

“Locked boys needn’t spend their time worrying about the things over which they have no control.”

So, since the weekend we have embarked on her new diabolical teasing and denial plan that is even more intense than what we had already been doing for about the past nine weeks. So far it has featured more intense edging sessions and a stronger focus on erotic humiliation.

Not that I don’t admire and appreciate Lucie’s seemingly inexhaustible creativity, but it doesn’t feel like we’re easing into anything, much less Locktober. I could be wrong, but I’ve already accepted I’m probably going into Locktober with no unlock and no orgasm. But, hey. No one ever said life is fair, right?

Accordingly, I have made my mental preparations for Locktober as well as they can be made. If I must endure another 31 days of enforced chastity after this month’s close, so be it. I once heard this stoic line in a movie that I liked.

“One may stare into the light until one becomes the light.”

Perhaps I can use that bit of moral relativism to get through Locktober without a release. It represents a common observation of Nietzsche and others that we become like that we fight against, since we must do so in order to survive. I suppose that is just as true for denial.

Well wishes to all who are prepping for Locktober.

male chasity guides

Know Thyself Before Having the Chastity Talk With Your Partner

By Chaste on Wednesday, February 17, 2021

7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself and Answer Before Having the Chastity Talk With Your Partner

To Know Thyself is the Beginning of Wisdom

Before you can expect your wife or girlfriend to understand your chastity desires, you must first understand them yourself. This may seem obvious, but the truth is too many guys are drawn more to the fantasy of enforced chastity than to the reality of it. They spend little if any real time reflecting on and coming to grips with their desires before bringing up chastity with their partners and asking them to lock them up.

You should be able to articulate responses to questions like those I’ll suggest in a moment before bringing up your chastity desires with your significant other because she may pose questions just like them in an attempt to understand why you want her to lock up your cock.

Asking yourself the questions below can help you clearly define your own chastity desires and needs which will better prepare you for discussing chastity with your partner.

To get the real benefit from these question, you must be brutally honest with yourself and willing to separate fantasy from reality. Think carefully about each question and give yourself time to fully answer each one.

1. Why do I want to be locked in chastity?

The desire to be dominated by a woman is one of the most common male sexual fantasies. That’s one reason why the idea of male chastity resonates so strongly with so many of us. And that’s why it’s so important to understand the difference between your fantasy desires and the practical realities of chastity before discussing your desires with your partner.

There’s nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies, but understanding how much of your desire for chastity is based on sexual fantasy can help you understand whether your fantasies are realistic.

2. What do I expect chastity to do for me?

Once you’ve seperated fantasy from reality, think about your expectations for chastity. Do you expect chastity will make you a better husband or partner by making you more loving and attentive? Is chastity a means of curbing masturbation which seems to have grown excessive? Do you have a wandering eye and chastity seems a good way to ensure that you remain faithful in your relationship?

There are no wrong answers here. It’s just good to know what your expectations are.

3. What is the maximum length of time I want to be locked up at a stretch?

Is chastity only something new and very exciting you want to add to your sexual repertoire and extends only to the bedroom? Or do you want it to encompass every day situations outside the bedroom?

Don’t make the mistake of telling your wife or girlfriend you want her lock you up and throw away the key when all you really want is to spend a few hours during the weekend with your cock locked before sex to spice things up in the bedroom.

4. Do I want to be dominated and subservient to my keyholder?

Do you desire only to submit sexually to your partner or do you want her to actually dominate you? Or do you want her to take charge in other ways and become the primary decision maker in your relationship. Do you want to serve her in other ways beyond the sexual?

This is important because unless your wife or girlfriend has an inner dominatrix itching to get out, dominance may not be her nature. People often confuse assertiveness with dominance and they aren’t they same thing. Almost every woman I’ve been in relationships was assertive, some of them extremely so. But none were dominant.

If your partner isn’t dominant, you won’t be able to teach her to become dominant, and she won’t be able to learn to be dominant from reading books. You can’t make someone into something they aren’t, not to mention your partner may have no desire to be dominant in the first place. If you’re expecting that, you are probably setting yourself up for disappointment. That doesn’t mean a woman who isn’t dominant can’t be an effective keyholder. It only means she may not be able to meet your needs for dominance in other areas.

5. Do I have a submissive nature?

If your partner has a dominant nature or is intrigued with the idea of exploring dominance to find out if she has a dominant bent, you must ask yourself if you have a submissive nature. If not, after your fantasies have been sated you may grow increasingly resentful of your partner’s exercise of dominance over you.

Not every guy who wants his partner to lock up his cock is submissive. A guy who isn’t might like playing the dominant-submissive game for awhile, but may tire of it quickly once the rubber meets the road and his partner takes charge and starts saying no when he feels desperate for sexual release.

6. Do I want to use chastity to spice things up in the bedroom, or do I want it to become a way of life?

You should have some idea about the answer to this question at the start. It doesn’t mean a guy who only wants to be locked up for short periods of time at the beginning won’t discover later that he wants permanent chastity. But unless you’re sure permanent chastity is what you want, never tell your partner it is.

If your wife or girlfriend agrees to lock you in a chastity device, she will soon start to see positive changes in you that benefit her and the relationship. Imagine the crushing disappointment she will feel when just as she starts seeing and appreciating the benefits of male chastity you tell her you’ve discovered it isn’t what you want after all.

Unless you know for sure, permanent or at least long-term chastity is what you want, make sure you ask only for a trial period when you do have the chastity talk with your partner.

7. In what situations do I most want to be locked up? Are there occasions I won't want to be locked up?

Do you only want to wear a cock cage when at home or all the time? Are there times you won’t want to wear a cage like when on vacations, or when you go to the gym, as two examples? Some women take to male chastity quickly once they start seeing the benefits.

Once your partner agrees to lock you up, she may have different ideas about how often and when she wants you caged that differ from your ideas.

Who Needs Frustration and Disappointment?

This isn’t an exhaustive list of questions, but looking deep inside yourself and answering these seven basic questions will go a long way toward having male chastity meet your expectations. That can keep a dive into chastity from disappointing you or your partner.

Guys must understand something. Unless your partner has a sexually adventurous side or kink is already part of the relationship, when you first bring up the subject of male chastity and orgasm denial, your wife or girlfriend is going to be surprised. She might even be shocked when you tell her of your intense desires and willingness to turn your sexual fantasies into reality. She may even be disgusted by the whole idea. In the world of most vanilla women, male chastity is not “normal” and her mind will likely scream, “No! NOT interested!”

But after some thought, and a few persuasive tactics from you, she may agree, at least to a trial. She might put aside all of her preconceived notions about cock cages and orgasm denial, and give it the old college try. Then she starts noticing some positive improvements in your day-to-day behavior, not to mention a spiced up sex life. She actually starts seeing some serious potential in this male chastity thing. “Hey, this could be a lot of fun. He’s much more attentive and nice to be around when he’s craving an orgasm.” She quickly makes the connection between your behavior and how badly you want to orgasm. You are willing to do anything to please her. Thanks to chastity, you’ve become the most perfect partner a girl could ever dream of or want.

Then reality rears its ugly head. You realize that chastity and being unable to orgasm as often as you were accustomed to leaves you feeling deprived. You start thinking the whole chastity thing is not really what you thought it would be. When you communicate that to your partner, she is legitimately frustrated. You wanted to play this weird chastity game and she gave it an honest effort. Now, just when she was beginning to really like all of the benefits chastity was bringing to the relationship, you don’t want to play any more. Imagine her frustration.

In summary, be sure about what you want, need, and expect from chastity before you ever bring in up. Like Socrates famously said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” If you don’t answer questions like those I’ve proposed in advance, dipping your toe into male chastity can become an unmitigated disaster which may send shock waves throughout your entire relationship. In my experience, that situation is best avoided.

Next post, I’ll talk about what NOT to say when having the chastity talk with your significant other and asking your wife or girlfriend to lock up your cock.

chastity male chasity devices

I’m Back In The Chastity Saddle Again

By Chaste on Saturday, June 13, 2020

As of Thursday, June 11, I’m back in the chastity saddle again, locked by my new keyholder who we’ll call Goddess Camille. This time we’ve agreed to a full one-month lock up. It feels good to be under the steady hand of GC once again after a few days of self-locking while wear testing the CB-6000.

Whoopi-ty-aye-yay

I go my way

Back in the saddle again

I’m also sporting a new chastity cage for the month, the Amicus from Male Chastity Now (MCN) that I recently purchased. I have to say I already love this cage, though I made errors when I ordered it.

An Amicus Experiment Gone Wrong

I’ve thought for a while now that I needed to try some new things—a 1/4-inch cage to base ring gap rather than my usual 3/8-inch gap, and an oval-shaped instead of a round base ring. Also, because my Mature Metal Watchful Mistress turned too much when I wore it with a plastic numbered lock for the first time, I thought I’d drop down to a 1-5/8 inch base ring in hopes of solving that problem. Since the MCN devices have an identical mechanism for mating the cage to the ring as MM, I decided to change all three variables when I ordered the Amicus. Mark at MCN delivered precisely what I asked for. Unfortunately, through no fault of his, it didn’t work at all.

I’ve worn a 1-5/8 inch base ring before without problems. But, I’ve never worn an oval-shaped ring, which I learned makes a significant difference. As soon as I put the ring on, I knew it was too tight. The middle of the ring behind my ball sack put a lot of compression on a spot where it didn’t feel good at all. I toughed it out for an hour, hoping it was only a new sensation I’d acclimate to, but it only got worse with time. So, immediately, I went back to the MCN site and ordered my usual 1-7/8 inch round base ring.

A Welcome Discovery

Since I’d hoped to get the Amicus in time for my first full month with GC and did, I was bummed about ordering a base ring that didn’t work. But, after taking off the ring, I noticed something. It looked very much like the base rings for my MM device. Would the rings interchange, I wondered? I grabbed my MM 1-7/8 inch round ring. Parts from different chastity devices NEVER interchange. But, to my surprise, the MM ring fit like a champ. Problem solved! I put on the MM base ring, put the cage back on, and it fit like a glove.

The Amicus Device

I’ll be doing a full review once I’ve worn the Amicus for a while, but I’ll share a few details here.

As noted on the MCN website, the Amicus is a semi-custom device meaning it is not fully customizable. MCN uses pre-made cages they get from a manufacturer in China. But, whoa Nelly! These cages are definitely nothing like the made in China cages I’ve seen in the past. They are high end, 316 surgical-grade stainless steel with smooth, symmetric welds. Similar to the Mature Metal cages, the Amicus cage is polished to a high gloss finish inside and out.

MCN uses the outsourced pre-made cages so they can offer a near custom-made product at a less expensive price point. The company does manufacture the stainless steel base rings to order. The only thing that keeps the Amicus from being a custom-made device is you can’t customize the internal diameter of the cage. They all come in the standard 1-1/4 inch size. For me, that wasn’t a problem. I usually wear devices with a 1-3/8 inch ID, but the 1-1/4 works fine. For someone new to the chastity lifestyle and on a budget, this is an ideal situation.

There are plenty of options available for the Amicus. You can get the base ring with a specific ID (1-5/8 – 2-1/4), a customized ring-to-cage gap (1/4, 3/8, or 1/2), And, there are three different cage lengths to choose from that will accommodate flaccid penis lengths from two to three inches. You also have a choice between a padlock or a security screw.

MCN Quality And Service

From an aesthetic point of view, I loved the looks of my Amicus right out of the box. The craftsmanship and quality, in my estimation, compares most favorably with that of my MM device.

Shipping was unbelievably fast! Four days after I placed my order, the Amicus was in my mailbox. I’m wearing the device for the third day, after sleeping in it the last two nights. I haven’t had a single problem with it since I worked out my base ring ordering error. The cage fits me perfectly. I absolutely would not hesitate to buy from MCN again. That’s great for me since I ordered the Amicus as a trial run before ordering MCN’s fully customizable Contender. I’m sure I’ll be doing that soon since I am delighted with my first MCN experience.

If you’re in the market for a quality stainless steel chastity cage with a price that won’t break the bank, have a look at the Amicus. Though it’s not fully custom, it’s a great semi-custom option at an excellent price.

Also, if you make a measurement mistake or want minor adjustments, no worries. Mark, the owner of MCN, is very responsive, knowledgeable, and will give you a quick turnaround, based on what some of my other chastity friends who buy from him have told me.

I’ll be posting a full review of the Amicus soon, and I’ll be providing updates to my one-month lock up for GC.

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Chaste’s Random Chastity Short Takes

By Chaste on Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The term “short takes” originated from the film industry. It refers to brief scene recordings. I decided to use it in the title of this post because I have three things I’ve promised to post about, but the topics are all too short to warrant separate posts. So, here are my random chastity short takes for June 2020.

chastity

Transitioned Into The CB-6000S Today

Last week I mentioned I’d be wear-testing and posting a review of the CB-6000 soon. If you check the “My Current Status” tab regularly, then you probably noticed I switched to wearing a CB-6000S today. I received it last week.

Since the CB-6000 is one of the devices I recommend to new guys (based on reviews I’ve read), I figured the least I could do was to spend the money to buy one and road test it myself.

I have to say, after the first eight hours of wear, I’m favorably impressed. I’ll be sleeping in it for the first time tonight. It is amazingly lightweight compared to the stainless steel devices I usually wear. So, expect a review in a few days.

Sitrep on New Keyholder Status

As mentioned in the June 1, “Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do” post, I have a new keyholder. Today I completed the two-week trial with her. I must say our first interaction went spectacularly from my perspective. She devotes a satisfying amount of attention to me, but in deference to my experience wearing chastity devices, she doesn’t micromanage me. I appreciate that since I’m not a natural submissive type and don’t take to micromanagement well.

Along with the keyholding service, I bought up to get teasing and denial and am so glad I did. She gave me a task to do daily during the two weeks that was oh so effective at keeping my arousal ramped up. It was the same task, but it changed a little bit each day so that I never became bored with it. Her fees are very reasonable, and in my estimation, she is worth every penny.

On June 11, she will lock me for a full month. If that goes as well as the two-week trial, I plan to open the discussion with her about an open-ended agreement going forward. Until then, I’m self-locking for the CB-6000 wear test and review. That keeps my string of consecutive days locked since May 25 unbroken as I didn’t take a release.

I’ll stay locked in the CB-6000 until June 11 when I pick it back up with my keyholder. So far, so good, and steady as she goes. I still miss Lady Jayne, but I think I may have found a keeper in my present keyholder. I’ll continue to post updates on this as the situation warrants.

New Chasity Cage Ordered

male-chastity-now-amicus So, I had some extra bucks this month and decided to pull the trigger on a new stainless-steel job I’ve had my eye on for a while. Mark, at Male Chastity Now (MCN), a custom-made chastity device fabricator, makes it. It’s called Amicus.

The Amicus is not technically a custom-made device since it has a pre-made cage. You must take it with the standard internal diameter of 1-1/4 inches. They do that (pre-made cage) to create a less expensive device. As a comparison, MCN’s fully customizable device, the Contender, sells for $320. That’s comparable to the cost of Mature Metal’s Jailbird. But the Amicus sells for only $165.

I own an off-the-shelf cage that has a cage with a 1-1/4 inches diameter, so I know it works for me even though I usually wear cages with a 1-3/8 inches diameter. There are three essential adjustments you can get with the Amicus—base ring diameter (not limited to just the usual three standard sizes), cage length, and ring to gap measurement.

I ordered my custom-made Mature Metal cage with a 3/8 inches ring to gap measurement. I’ve started feeling I should have gone with 1/4 inch instead, so I ordered the Amicus with that gap. If it seems to work better for me, I’ll ship my Watchful Mistress back to Mature Metal to have the gap adjusted.

I’m looking forward to trying out the MCN Amicus. I’ve seen great reviews on the quality of workmanship and the fit. Also, the company claims to make the lightest weight stainless steel devices available. Expect a review soon.

pro-domme key holders

Guide To Finding A Professional Chastity Keyholder

By Chaste on Monday, June 8, 2020

This post, a guide to finding a professional chastity keyholder, is meant for guys who aren’t in a relationship and who want an actual keyholder. Sometimes single chaste men are between relationships, and just don’t have a friend they feel comfortable asking to hold their keys. When DIY chastity gets too hard, maybe it’s time to find some professional help.

Keyholding services within the Femdom community are offered by professional dominatrices, pro-dommes, lifestyle mistresses, and others. The number of women providing keyholding services seems to be soaring right on pace with the growing interest among males to wear chastity devices.

As a guy who has used online prop chastity keyholders, I’ll offer here some advice and tips I learned from trial and error. After reading this post, you should be able to find the right pro for you, even if it’s your first time.

What Are Pro Keyholding Services?

Professional keyholding services are literally that. Someone holds the keys to a chastity device for a fee. Usually, it’s a dominant woman experienced in male chastity who holds the keys to a guy’s chastity device, without necessarily having any other sort of relationship with him.

The length of time the keys are held can vary. Depending on the specific set-up of your keyholding service, the duration may be pre-arranged, or it can be open-ended. In that case, it’s up to the discretion of the keyholder, unless you request an early release and she permits it, of course.

How Much Does Pro Keyholding Cost?

As with most other for-fee services, the costs for pro keyholding vary widely. Since each keyholder sets her prices, there doesn’t seem to be any set going rate for these services. Each keyholder sets the price she feels her keyholding service is worth, and that’s the price you’ll need to pay. Some keyholders have a set price across the board. Others tailor their prices according to the person, and the particulars of the services provided. Often a keyholder sets her prices based on her popularity within chastity circles and her level of expertise.

Expect to pay more for services from a keyholder who has no difficulty acquiring clients or keeping the number of clients she wants, and those who have a lot of chastity experience.

Also, the specific type of keyholder makes a difference. As a rule, expect to pay a professional dominatrix more than a pro-domme and a pro-domme more than a lifestyle mistress. That has to do both mostly with the breadth of services some keyholders offer in comparison to others.

Price Comparisons

You can find professionals who will simply be your keyholder if that’s what you want. There won’t be any frills or extras with such an arrangement. They will lock you and then hold the keys for the agreed upon duration. Others also offer additional services like periodic check-ins to make sure you’ve remained locked and tease and denial services.

For basic online keyholding services, I’ve seen prices that range from $35 per week for a lifestyle mistress to $300 per week for a professional dominatrix. Dominatrices and some pro-dommes tend to be full-time sex workers who make their livings from indulging the kinks and sexual fantasies of their clients. They are often highly skilled and experienced. Many of them have formalized training. It’s only to be expected that their services command the highest prices.

Recently, I looked at the website of a pro-domme who offers keyholding services. Her fees for someone looking only for their chastity device keys to be held is $60 per week. If a person requests tease and denial throughout the keyholding, the price increases to between $125 and $200 per week. She explains the added costs are because of photographs she must take and send, the teasing emails she must carefully draft, and the other forms of teasing she adds to create a “tortuous” chastity experience clients will enjoy.

Personally, I have paid between $20 and $50 per week for online keyholding services that included keyholding and some form of teasing and denial. I’ve only used lifestyle mistresses, women for whom keyholding is only a side gig, not a full-time job. That has been a conscious choice. I consider the amounts I’ve paid reasonable and the services I’ve received well worth the investment. Maybe I’m cheap, but I can’t imagine paying $200-$300 a week to satisfy my chastity kink, especially when I’m only interested in online services.

Available Services

As with prices, some professional keyholders offer a standard service across the board, whereas others will tailor their services in a la carte fashion according to the wishes of the client. There is a set rate for the basic keyholding, and then you pay extra for any additional services you select from a menu of options.

Here is a list of additional services you can expect to find to go along with keyholding.

Keyholder supervised lock up via an audio-video platform like Skype.
Teasing via an audio-video platform.
Teasing by email or text.
Teasing by phone (usually via a platform like Nite Flirt with per-minute charges).
Teasing erotic photos taken and sent by the keyholder.
Small penis humiliation (SPH) via an audio-video platform, webcam, or submitted images.
Periodic surprise lock up verification checks where you must submit a proof photo with a specified time.
Weekly lock up verification checks by photo submission.
Locks (you pay for) provided by the keyholder and sent by mail to which she retains all the keys.
“Property of” tags (you pay for) with the name of the keyholder inscribed on them, which you can attach to your chastity device.

Most of the services on the list are purchased a la carte and paid for in addition to the basic keyholding service. However, I’ve seen a few professional dominatrices who insist on supervising lock up via an audio-video platform or webcam.

Chastity services provided via Skype or similar audio-video platforms are the most expensive as time must usually be purchased in hourly blocks. You pay essentially the same hourly rates that a professional charges local clients for face-to-face services delivered at her dungeon or some other private setting.

A Word About Professional Keyholders

Whether or not a pro keyholder identifies as a sex worker, you can be certain of one thing. These ladies are not prostitutes. They will not have sex with you in person and will not have cybersex with you online. They may require you to perform sexual acts like edging to accomplish teasing, but they won’t perform sexual acts for you. It’s always a dominant-submissive dynamic, and they are the dominants. They command, and you obey.

Before You Contact A Pro

A professional domme with years of experience I’m acquainted with offers these common-sense suggestions to guys looking for their first pro keyholder.

Before reaching out to a pro, know what it is you want. Do you want someone to simply hold your keys? For some guys, this is all they need, a keyholder to enforce their chastity, so they don’t have to depend on willpower alone. Other guys want teasing to go with the denial. Still, others want to be subjected to periodic surprise inspections to verify they are still locked. The reason it’s so important to know what you want is that’s the only way to judge compatibility with a prospective pro. Does she offer the services you want in the way you want them delivered and at a price you’re willing to pay?

Once you know what services you want, it’s time to start looking at some potential professionals. The easiest way to find them is the Internet. You can just Google “chastity keyholders” and get a lot of links to the websites of professional keyholders. Also, there are various Mistress directory websites online you can consult. You can even find keyholders on social media. Searching the hashtag #keyholder will lead you to some possibilities. Though in my experience, most professional keyholders don’t prefer you to make initial contact with them on social media. Most have websites and have a specific form they expect prospective clients to fill out. That lets them decide whether they feel a client is a good fit before discussing particular services and fees.

My pro acquaintance recommends that you only consider professionals who have a website. That’s an indication of legitimacy. She warns so-called “dommes” are a dime a dozen on social media, and BDSM websites and kinky dating apps are overflowing with fakes who try to shill you out of money.

When you start looking at websites, read them thoroughly. Read as much as possible before corresponding with the keyholder. Her website is there for a reason—to give the viewer an understanding of what she offers. You can get an idea of who she is by how she presents herself online. Does she sound like she knows what she’s talking about? Once you’ve read over the website of someone who interests you, then you can check out her social media presence where she interacts with other professionals. Seeing how she talks shop with other professionals on social media can provide you with an invaluable insight into her perspective on chastity, and give you an idea of her personality.

Remember, the information on a professional keyholder’s website is there for a reason. If you don’t read it, the mistress will have to answer questions, and repeat the details she has already provided on her website. Mistresses find that annoying. You don’t want to be annoying, do you? Being annoying can mean getting rejected. These ladies are always plagued by “time wasters,” guys who want their attention, but who will never pay for services. Failure to do your due diligence might be interpreted by a potential pro to mean that you fall into the time waster category. Then they will ignore you.

First Contact

Once you’ve looked at websites and narrowed it down to one or two (or maybe three) potential keyholders, it’s time to make the first contact. Usually, you will find a contact form on the websites. Fill it out clearly, succinctly, and with as much detail as you can about exactly what you’re looking for. Short one-sentence messages show zero effort. If you put zero effort into the first contact, the pro will also probably put zero effort into a response. Thought and consideration make applicants stand out. You want to stand out because many of these ladies can afford to be particular about who they accept as clients and are. Treat it like a job application. Try to impress. Be on your best behavior. Be courteous, polite, and give as much info on yourself and desires as reasonably possible. Do tell them how much experience you have with wearing chastity devices if applicable. Then wait for a reply. In my experience, professionals reply to inquires promptly, usually within a day or two at most.

Next Step

Once a pro responds to your initial contact, if they are interested, it will spark a discussion, usually in the form of a few email exchanges. Some will ask for more information. If she asks specific questions out of you, answer them. It’s a very straightforward process. Chances are she has done this thousands of times already and knows exactly what she needs to ask and what information she needs to have. Answer the questions truthfully. Don’t omit information because you feel embarrassed about something. If you’re embarrassed about your needs and desires, I guarantee that they will never be met and fulfilled.

Pro keyholders may ask you to list your “limits.” Most of them will. If you’re not familiar with limits, it is simply things you are unwilling to do with regard to your chastity experience. For example, you won’t provide images of you wearing a chastity device that shows your face. Or, you won’t engage in Skype calls or appear on a webcam.

Limits is a term used by “play partners” in BDSM and other power exchange relationships. Since the relationship between a chastity device wearer and his keyholder is a power exchange relationship, limits are a necessary part of chastity agreements. Limits can cover a lot of things. You may want to review a play partner play list like the one on this website. Consider any of the activities that might be used in tease and denial with an eye for things you would or wouldn’t be willing to do.

Agreement Or Contract

Once the professional has a firm idea of what you want and you a good idea of what services she can or will provide, it’s decision time. If you feel you have found a keyholder who will be a good fit for you, she will send you a written agreement or contract to sign that contains the details of what you both have agreed to. As a minimum, the agreement will include—duration of the agreement, services the keyholder will provide, keyholder’s rules or expectations, “proof of lock” procedure, cancellation rights and process, fees, and how you will pay the keyholder.

Fixed Duration Or Open-Ended

Most professionals offer either fixed duration keyholding or open-ended keyholding. Fixed duration means a specific length of time—two weeks, one month, two months, etc. Open-ended means keyholding service agreements with no specified end date. The agreement continues as long as you pay the required fees.

Based on my experience, I recommend going with a fixed duration agreement first. Ideally, two-weeks if the professional you’re considering offers that. One month would be the next option, which is usually available. This gives you and the keyholder the chance to see how well you work together. After that “trial” period you can decide whether you want to transition to an open-ended agreement.

The thing about open-ended contracts is they often include a “penalty” fee, an amount you are expected to pay the keyholder if you decide to terminate the keyholding service. Will the keyholder turn you over to a collection agency or sue if you don’t pay the cancellation fee? No, chastity keyholding agreements aren’t enforceable in the courts. But, if you stiff a professional keyholder, expect her to tell other professionals about you. They talk with each other. You will find it difficult, if not impossible, to get another professional to take you on. If you object to paying cancellation fees, don’t agree to them at the start.

How Pros Enforce Chastity

Except for keyholders who use Skype or webcams, the most common “proof of locked” procedure is the chastity device wearer sends a photo to the keyholder showing the device locked in place. Some keyholders will require that a newspaper or something else showing the current date be included in the image. Also, some keyholders will sell you a lock and mail it to you, and they will keep the keys.

Because other chastity device locking options are rapidly replacing the padlock, like integrated “magic” locks and security screws, professional keyholders have other “proof of locked” procedure options. As an example, with my first pro keyholder, I purchased a small, inexpensive safe designed for connection to WiFi. Once I transferred the control over the safe to my keyholder, only she could open it via a remote control app on her smartphone. I had to send her a video of me locking my keys in the safe. Then only she could open the safe to give me access to them. There are lots of other procedures in use that deny the device wearer access to the keys.

Numbered plastic locks are also popular options. You lock your device with one and then take and send a photo clearly showing the number on the lock. The lock can only be removed by cutting it off. That makes it obvious the wearer has removed the device if he does so without the permission of the keyholder.

There are still a few keyholders who will allow you to physically mail your keys to them. But, this is becoming rare. For obvious reasons, keyholders are not going to give clients their home address. To accept physical keys, they must maintain a commercial mailbox, which is another expense.

Regardless of the procedure, your keyholder will explain what her requirements are.

Wrap Up

Long-distance keyholding is not foolproof. You can probably find a way to cheat if you wish to do so. But if you lie about being locked in chastity, when you aren’t, you only rob yourself of a real experience. Also, if a keyholder catches you cheating, she will kick you to the curb. And, yes, you’re name will get out there in the professional keyholder community, and you won’t be welcomed by another professional.

Some keyholders have specific qualifications for clients. Some won’t accept clients under a particular age, like twenty-one. I know of one who only takes clients who are age thirty and over. Some won’t accept clients who are married or in a committed relationship.

Lastly, some keyholders require regular communication, especially with clients who are new to wearing chastity devices. They should explain those requirements to you in detail before you sign an agreement.

Hopefully, after reading this post, you now feel confident that you can contact a professional keyholder and negotiate a keyholding agreement that suits your needs. Sure, I suppose if we had the choice, none of us would wish to pay for keyholding. But, professional keyholders provide a valuable service. Without them, a lot of guys would have only the option to self-lock. I’ve had great experiences with those I’ve used.

chastity keyholders

Chastity Keyholding For Dummies

By Chaste on Sunday, June 7, 2020

This post, Chastity Keyholding For Dummies, is for the ladies, ladies whose male partners have come to them with a strange request: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?” Please understand I’d never apply the term “dummy” to any woman. Having been raised with good manners, I have always treated women with respect, even deference. The title of the post is meant only to illustrate my intention to take women who know little or nothing at all about male chastity and help them learn what a keyholder is and why they might want to be one.

If you are a woman reading this post, chances are your husband, boyfriend, lover, or whatever has asked you to lock him in a chastity device and to become his keyholder. You probably arrived here while doing your own research to learn what chastity is exactly and why the man in your life seems so excited by the idea of wearing a chastity device.

Or, perhaps, your partner directed you to this post and asked you to read it. Regardless, you likely came here with many questions. If you are utterly new to male chastity, this might be your first question. “What is a chastity keyholder?” Running a close second may be the question, “Why in the world would I want to be a keyholder?” I will answer those questions and many more in this post.

What Is A Keyholder

Simply put, a keyholder is a term for someone who holds the key to the chastity device of another. A keyholder can be anyone, as long as that person consents to the role. Some may assume a keyholder is always a female. That’s not true. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can fill the position. But most commonly, a keyholder is the caged male’s wife, girlfriend, or sexual partner.

The keyholder has a position of great power. Because a keyholder controls access to a chastity device, they also, by extension, control the genitals of their partner. That means they decide when or if their partner can achieve sexual gratification. At its most basic, keyholding is about control, taking control of a man sexually. I’ll explain why this is important later.

The Basics of Male Chastity

Most women describe their initial reactions when their partner tells them he wishes them to lock him in a chastity device with words like “shock” and “confusion.” Let’s try to clear that away.

The motivation behind why a guy wants to wear a chastity device and to have his partner control him sexually is uncomplicated. At first blush, when your partner first approached you about chastity, you may have thought it was only the latest kinky sex thing he had found on the Internet and wanted to try to spice up things in the bedroom. It may have sounded entirely unnatural to you, something you weren’t interested in at all. It didn’t seem sexy. In reality, it seemed kind of stupid, very stupid, boring, and pointless.

But actually, being sexually controlled by a woman is a pervasive male fantasy shared by many men. That means chastity probably isn’t just the latest in a long line of kinky sex things your partner stumbled across on the Internet. If your man has asked you to put him in chastity, he has probably already been fantasizing about it for months, if not years.

The attraction for male chastity for most men is primarily the desire for two things—orgasm control and orgasm denial.

Orgasm Control & Denial

Orgasm control is the sexual practice where someone remains in a state of heightened arousal for an extended period without achieving climax. The expectation for experiencing this lengthened final stage of arousal is that it will amplify the sensations of an eventual orgasm.

Orgasm denial is the sexual practice of experiencing or allowing someone else to experience a high level of sexual pleasure for an extended period without experiencing orgasm. Most of us would agree that orgasms are seriously pleasurable experiences. Why would anyone wish to be denied orgasms deliberately? Because having a partner holding you back or forbidding you to come intentionally can lead to amplified erotic fantasies and heighten the anticipation of climax.

The attraction of orgasm control and denial for men who wish to be put in chastity is not that they want only to have their orgasms limited or denied, they also want a partner to subject them to intense sexual teasing. Sexual teasing combined with orgasm delay or denial for a male increases his testosterone levels and the sensitivity in his genitals. Increasing testosterone and sensitivity stimulates his sex drive and leads to stronger orgasms when he does orgasm.

It Sounds So Selfish

Interest in practicing chastity among men has exploded in recent years. The increased interest likely is the result of male chastity devices becoming more readily available and at significantly lower prices. While male chastity might still not yet be mainstream, it is definitely moving in that direction. What was once something practiced only by submissive men involved in BDSM, is now increasingly being practiced by average, everyday men who may not have a kinky bone in their bodies.

At this point, you may be thinking; male chastity sounds selfishly motivated, just like every other aspect of the weird world of male sexuality. It’s yet another thing your partner wants you to do for him so that he gets sexual gratification. No thanks! Sure, it is selfishly motivated. I won’t insult your intelligence by denying it. If you agree to put your partner in chastity and to become his keyholder, he will get what he wants. But, there is so much more because male chastity produces some rather startling changes in men that will directly benefit the keyholder. Putting your partner in chastity can be an opportunity for you to get more enjoyment from your sex life, not just something he has asked you to do to keep him happy.

Those Were The Days

Remember when you first met your husband or partner, and he worked so hard trying to win your affections and to persuade you to have a relationship with him? He was so affectionate. All he wanted was to spend time with you. He hung on your every word. There was nothing he was unwilling to do to make you happy. Then, once you married or got into a relationship with him, everything changed. Like singer Paula Cole says it in her song, “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone,” “I am wearing my new dress tonite, but you don’t even notice me. Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending? Where have all the cowboys gone?”

Not to discount the sincere love and affection I’m confident your partner felt for you at the time, his primary motivation back then during the courting phase was that he found you sexually attractive and wanted you as a sexual partner. That’s a sad yet accurate commentary on the male sex drive. It’s also unfortunate that over time, once a relationship has been established, passions cool, and the romance fades. What would you say if I told you, male chastity could reverse that? It can turn back the clock on your relationship with your partner to where it feels you’re in that romantic courtship phase all over again. How is that possible, you ask? Please read on.

A male whose sexuality is locked up in a chastity device is denied orgasm, sexual pleasure of any kind, and even the sensation of a normal erection. Chastity works in many ways. It changes a man’s moods, demeanor, and libido. Most importantly, it transforms his desire to please his partner when she holds the key to his chastity device.

It isn’t that it becomes his goal to do more around the house like cooking, cleaning, or the laundry, but you will find that he will do one or more of these things as he continues the build-up of his sexual energy. Unable to channel this pent up sexual energy through his genitals, by necessity, he diverts that energy towards pleasing you.

As his keyholder and the sole source of his sexual pleasure, he will once again become wholly focused on you. He will adore you and love you in the way he did when you first met, and he will be eager to please you in every way. Why does this happen?

The increase in sexual tension produced by chastity increases a man’s testosterone levels giving him a significant energy boost. Research studies on the effect of increased testosterone levels on male sexuality have identified testosterone as the major “courtship inducer.” We might define “courtship” as the amount of effort a male is willing to put into gaining the favor of a female. The courtship mode is induced when a male’s testosterone levels are increased by fifty-percent or more through an extended non-ejaculatory period of at least seven days. Since the purpose of a male chastity device is to enforce non-ejaculatory periods, they yield the spontaneous initiation of courtship.

The takeaway is, by putting your man in chastity, he will become more attentive to your needs, more affectionate, and more willing to do whatever you ask when he believes it will make you happy. Have you ever felt your partner was most focused on having his sexual needs satisfied during sex and that your satisfaction was a distant second consideration, if a consideration at all? Male chastity can completely reverse that. Yes, your partner will still crave sexual pleasure, denial of his orgasm will sometimes feel frustrating, but even so, his primary goal will be the satisfaction of your sexual needs. Satisfying you by giving you sexual pleasure will become more important to him than his desires.

What Do I Have To Do As His Keyholder?

Perhaps after reading the previous section, you are feeling a little more curious about this whole chastity thing. The natural next question then is this. What do I have to do if I agree to be his keyholder?

You take possession of the keys, and you decide when or if your partner has orgasms. Being a keyholder does not obligate you to do any more than that.

It might be helpful to think as male chastity as a game, a game in which you, as the keyholder, make all the rules. That doesn’t mean you should lock your partner in a chastity device and throw away the key. You may want to put a little more time, effort, and imagination into it if you’re going to achieve a sexual relationship with your partner far beyond anything you’ve ever experienced or maybe even imagined possible.

Tease & Denial

Intertwined within those chastity fantasies your partner has almost surely entertained, is the part he was thinking about most when he asked you to be his keyholder. He desires you to tease him sexually in every way you can think of while denying him orgasm. And, teasing and denial is a necessity for chastity to work.

If you lock your partner in a chastity device and then ignore him, his arousal will grow for a time, but then he will reach a point where his arousal plateaus and then inevitably declines. Then chastity will no longer be something he enjoys. It also won’t be the courtship inducer that produces the behavioral changes I mentioned earlier. That’s just not how the male arousal cycle works. Orgasm denial, coupled with sexual teasing is what elevates testosterone levels in men.

Teasing and denial needn’t be time-consuming. It all depends on what type of teasing, and how much of it you want to do. It’s entirely up to you. Also, by teasing, I don’t mean it is always you doing sexually pleasurable things to your partner. It also means requiring him to do sexually pleasing stuff to you while he is locked up and denied pleasure.

In a way, despite the sexual frustration, your partner wants you to be “mean” to him. By this, I mean he wants you to keep his penis locked up. He wants you to make him wait, beg, and plead for orgasms. He wants you to tease him, to deny him orgasms, and to tease him some more until his arousal is so heightened he doesn’t think he can stand it a minute longer.

Does Chastity Mean We Won’t Have Sex Anymore

For women who enjoy penetrative sex with their partners, it may seem to lock your partner’s penis in a chastity device means you will never have sex anymore. That’s not the case at all. You may not only find yourself having better sex, but having sex much more often.

You can always make him give you oral sex, or use a vibrator or dildo on you until you’ve had all the orgasms you can handle. And he will love every minute of it, especially when you don’t allow him to ejaculate. Remember when I said the keyholder makes all the rules? That applies to sex as well as everything else about chastity.

You can choose to unlock your partner for sex at any time you wish. But you may not want to allow him to come every time or even most of the time. You can have what you want, but mostly you should make him stop before he climaxes. That way, you won’t have to re-start the whole seven-days of arousing building all over to allow his testosterone levels to climb again.

One thing won’t change about your partner. Anytime you allow him to orgasm, he will revert to the guy he was before when he didn’t pay enough attention to you or your needs. It will require at least seven days under lock and key after an orgasm before you will get back the attentive, affectionate, anxious to please guy you will grow to love.

Hopefully, I have explained the basics of what a chastity keyholder is, what it means to be a keyholder, and why you might want to become one for your partner. Of course, this post covers only the basics. There is always more to learn about keyholding. In fact, entire books are devoted to it. But it is my sincere hope you learned enough from this post that you now feel confident you can make an informed decision when your male partner asks you: “Will you lock me in a chastity device and be my keyholder?”

chastity keyholders

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2

By Chaste on Friday, June 5, 2020

This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, focuses on guys who are not in a committed romantic relationship at the moment but are interested in trying chastity. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.

In The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, we defined the term keyholder. I won’t repeat the definition here, so if you haven’t read the first part of the multi-part post, you can click on the above link and review it if you wish.

As noted in the first part of this post, a keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly for men in relationships, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner. A guy not in a relationship doesn’t have this built-in option. That can make finding a keyholder at least somewhat more challenging. But it is not impossible.

Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All

Is it even necessary to have a keyholder to try chastity? Can’t a guy just self-lock or use one of the many virtual chastity device keyholders you can easily find on the web? Sure, you can do that, and some men find that an acceptable option. Just understand you won’t get the full chastity experience if you go about it that way. Locking your device and then handing over the keys to another human being to control takes chastity to a whole other level.

Most guys who try self-locking get bored right away. And, let’s face it. Self-locking is hard. You become entirely dependent on willpower to control those same urges that may have often sent you to a porn site with your penis in your hand. Most of us don’t have the willpower to last very long on our own. Also, starting your chastity journey alone is a lonely way to go. If what you want is the chastity lifestyle instead of just chastity play, a keyholder is a must.

I Have No One To Ask To Be My Keyholder

I hear a lot of guys say, I’d really like to try chastity, and I know I won’t enjoy self-locking. But I have no one to ask to be my keyholder. When I hear that, I think what they probably mean is that they are hesitant to ask someone to be their keyholder. It’s really quite like how we are sometimes timid about asking out a girl we like because we’re afraid she will say no. None of us enjoys rejection. I get that. Also, guys may fear if they bring up chastity with a girl, they believe she will think they are weird or something. But, the truth is, most guys know someone they could ask if they would only do it.

Most of us have females as platonic friends. A good many of us have ex-girlfriends. Both of those are good options. I have always tended to remain friends with my ex-girlfriends after the romantic relationships ended. Just because we weren’t a good fit for a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good friends. Out of my last four ex-girlfriends, I’d be comfortable with asking three of them to be my keyholder. At least two of those I’m pretty sure would agree to do it. I also have two female friends I’ve never dated that are definite maybes.

A guy I spoke with on a chastity website in a chat room once told me that one of his ex-girlfriends had been his keyholder for years. He’d mail her his keys, and she’d give him a date when he could ask to have them back. When he asked, she would either send the keys back or give him a new date when he could ask again. He said she liked being his keyholder so much he was concerned about one thing. He worried someday he would ask for the keys back, and she would not only say no, but she’d also say there would be no new release dates. Then he’d find himself in permanent chastity.

As long as the relationship with an ex-girlfriend ended amicably, and you are still in regular contact, she might be only too happy to mail out a lock or some keys once in a while and set a release date. It’s hardly any effort on her part, and it allows her to keep a thumb on the scales of your life. We could say pretty much the same thing about platonic female friends.

In both cases, you just need to do a good job of explaining to them your interest in chastity and what you want them to do. And make sure you tell them that if they agree to be your keyholder, they are allowed to exercise their independent judgment about when they give you releases.

The truth is, there are something like 3.5 billion females on the planet. Unless a guy is a castaway on some deserted island, it’s hard to make the case he has no one to ask to be his keyholder. But, if you’re too shy to ask a female you know, or too afraid she will think you’re a freak for the asking, then you have other options.

The Professionals

Beyond platonic friends and ex-girlfriends, a keyholder can also be a professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. There are advantages and disadvantages to using a pro. An advantage is you don’t have to explain chastity to them. They probably know more about it than you do, and they will also probably know all about the different chastity device options. The disadvantage is you must pay them to enforce your chastity, and in some cases, they will insist upon making all the rules without any concern for what you may want in your chastity experience. Let’s look at three options.

Professional Dominatrix

Most professional dominatrices offer enforced chastity services. But they will often be the most expensive option. These ladies often make their livings from indulging the kinks of their clients. If you live in a large city, chances are you can even find a local one. If so, you can probably schedule a face-to-face session where she will physically lock you in your device.

You can also connect with one online via Skype or some similar video and voice platform, and she will supervise while you lock yourself. These women also offer a wide array of other services tailored to kink enthusiasts, tease and denial as one example. Since a professional dominatrix sets her own prices, it would be useless for me to try and offer price specifics. Let’s just say you should expect to pay them hundreds of dollars per hour, whether you are looking for an in-person or online video-based session. Almost always, you pay a dominatrix in cash, or by online cash transfers. You find these women on the Internet. They are small businesspersons, and all have a web and social media presence.

Professional Dommes

Professional Dommes are similar to professional dominatrices regarding the kind of services they offer. They, too, can be on the expensive side, but not usually as expensive as a professional dominatrix. Again, in larger cities, you may find them locally. Also, there are many of them online. Some charge per hour for sessions like their dominatrix sisters, but some offer basic enforced chastity keyholding services at a standard weekly rate. I’ve used one such online service, which was very reasonable in price.

If you want something besides keyholding, like tease and denial sessions or online assignments, be prepared to pay extra. Usually, you pay pro-dommes in cash, or by online cash transfers. You also find pro-dommes on the Internet. A web search on the term “chastity keyholder” will return lots of website links for your consideration.

Other Service For-Fee Providers

The recent explosive growth of interest in chastity among men has created a cottage-like industry to address the increased demand for chastity keyholders. These women are almost exclusively online, distant keyholders. Women, from college students to homemakers to lifestyle dommes, are prepared to be your keyholder for a nominal fee. It tends to be a side gig for them instead of a full-time job.

Many of these service for-fee providers have websites, but a lot of them operate off social media platforms like Twitter. While they have set fees, the costs for keyholding are typically much less than you would pay a dominatrix or pro-domme. Another difference is many of these providers don’t accept cash. Instead, they require payments (they term “tributes”) via online digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon and other retailers.

Take Away

I believe having a “lifestyle” keyholder, a platonic friend or ex-girlfriend, is the best option, and not only because it’s free. I think it is just a better experience, closer to what men in relationships enjoy from having a wife or partner as their keyholder. But, if that’s not an option for you, there are professional ladies out there willing to hold your keys for a fee.

With all the options available, I don’t see a reason any guy has to self-lock and go it alone. There are the virtual keyholding services out there you can find on the web, some that are free for basic service, and some at a nominal charge. But comparing a virtual keyholding service to a flesh and blood keyholder to me is like comparing a Fleshlight to a girlfriend. It just isn’t the same.

That wraps up The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Keyholder. Thanks for reading. I hope you learned something or that the posts at least sparked a few ideas for you. Good luck finding your perfect keyholder, or one as perfect as your circumstances allow.

chastity keyholders

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1

By Chaste on Thursday, June 4, 2020

This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, is aimed at guys who are in one of two places right now. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.

Before we jump into our topic, allow me to explain the term “idiot,” which I used is the title of this post. I used it only used as hyperbole. Being unsure about how to go about acquiring a keyholder does not make you an idiot. We’ve all be there. I’m only stressing the point that I hope to provide you with a basic understanding of what can be a confusing, complicated topic. My approach will be explaining how to find a keyholder using basic terminology, definitions, and a synopsis of the steps to be taken within the context of your unique situation.

What Is a Keyholder, Anyway?

keyholder

noun

CHASTITY

a keyholder is a person who consents to possess the key to someone else’s chastity device.

A keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner, But a keyholder can also be a friend, professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. Sometimes, because it’s male chastity, people assume a keyholder is always a female. That isn’t the case. Anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can fill the role. However, for the sake of brevity, I will be using she/her to refer to keyholders in this post.

Chastity For Love And The Long Haul

If you’re a guy in a relationship who has discovered chastity, you may be thinking it is about time to have a conversation with your wife or partner. You probably hope to introduce chastity to your partner and enlist her as your keyholder. I think having a wife or partner as the keyholder is the best of all possible circumstances for a chaste man. Being a keyholder is a responsibility, but keyholding can also be a lot of fun and a source of satisfaction for a keyholder. But, when you work up the nerve to talk with your partner to tell her all the wonderful things about this new world you’ve discovered, you may be shocked by her response.

First, your partner may have no idea what male chastity is or what it entails. If they are aware that chastity cages exist, and that some men wear them, their response may even be negative. Why? She may think chastity is only another kinky thing you found on the Internet you want to try—something completely unnatural, nothing she is the least bit interested in, not very sexy, kind of stupid, very stupid, and pointless. Can you blame her? After all, if you’re anything like lots of other guys and me, it probably won’t be the first time you have tried introducing her to some sex thing you found on the web. You know, something to spice up things in the bedroom a little.

Having The Chastity Conversation

As men, we tend to think in a logical, linear pattern when looking for a solution to a problem. Instinctively, our first thought is we can overcome our partner’s objections by telling her all the wonderful benefits chastity will give her. If she will only lock your penis in a chastity cage and take possession of the key, she will see an incredible transformation.

You won’t be able to masturbate while watching porn anymore, which means you won’t watch so much porn since there won’t be any point.

You will become so much more attentive, and you will care more deeply about her feelings and about what she wants.

You won’t be able to cheat on her. Seriously? Who would say that?

You will become more helpful around the house.

You will become a more selfless lover.

I’ve even seen variations on this same approach suggested in chastity guides and on many online chastity sites. But, there is only one problem with this strategy. It doesn’t work. Please, don’t use any of those lame suggestions.

Think about it for a moment. Let’s assume your partner knows about your porn and masturbation habits because I’m confident she does. You will only remind her of something she probably not only dislikes but may even find hurtful. Maybe she believes you don’t find her sexually attractive enough any longer, so you get off watching porn and masturbating instead of having sex with her.

As far as all those other things, she won’t see those as benefits for her either. She will probably ask you why you aren’t already doing all those things. Your partner will want to know why you have to lock your dick inside some silly contraption to do all the things a caring partner would already be doing if he cared enough about her and the relationship. See where I’m going with this?

Indeed, chastity will probably motivate you to do every single one of those things on the above list. But, it will make more of an impact if she starts seeing those positive changes than you telling her how much better a partner you will be if she only agrees first to give you something you want.

A Better Strategy

Make it about her and her needs, not about you. After explaining that you have researched male chastity, and you are convinced chastity could make you a better person and partner. Then use talking points like this to tell her how you believe chastity could help you do that.

Tell her that after much thought, you realize you need to learn to serve her better and to make her life easier.

Explain that her guidance and constructive criticism on how you perform your share of the household chores would help you learn to become more attentive to her needs and desires.

Let her know that wearing a chastity device would prevent you from wasting energy on masturbation, energy that you could devote to higher purposes like pleasing her.

Share how wearing a chastity device will help you learn to give her more pleasure in the bedroom. Instead of being self-focused on your satisfaction and desires, chastity will help you learn to focus your energy on her happiness and desires. Her pleasure will become your pleasure.

Be honest and explain that the thought of wearing a chastity device for her and having her take complete control of your sex life excites you. Help her understand your primary motivation is not just to wear a chastity device, but to wear a chastity device for her.

See how these points are more focused on your partner, not on just another urge or desire you want your partner to fulfill for you.

You’re not trying to trick your partner with this strategy. You’re only being honest. Using these suggestions shows that you are aware you have shortcomings you need to correct and that you sincerely want to become a better man and partner. But, you need to learn how to do that. You believe practicing male chastity will help you learn the things you need to learn to do a better job of pleasing and satisfying her and making her life better.

Thanks for reading. I hope found the information useful, and that you will return for The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, where I will offer practical tips and suggestions to single guys for finding a keyholder.

chastity keyholders male chastity

Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do

By Chaste on Monday, June 1, 2020

It’s been a while since it happened, but Lady Jayne and I parted company. I’ve thought of posting about it before but didn’t feel ready. Even thinking about it made me feel sad. Breaking up with your keyholder is hard to do.

I beg of you, Goddess, don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our chastity contract another try?
Come on, Goddess, let’s start anew
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do.

Bluer Than Blue

But, I think I’m past it now. It seems a little weird that you can find yourself so attached to someone you really don’t even know. But it happens. At least, it did to me. I also felt that LJ and I had formed a friendship. She was definitely more to me than just a distant, online keyholder.

The problem was it became apparent we just weren’t on the same page. I hadn’t had any releases since our first month together. Well, that’s what chastity is about, some may say. Well, yes, it is. The thing is it became apparent to me from things LJ told me that her plan for me was permanent chastity. That’s something I aspire to someday, but I’m not ready for it yet.

Besides no orgasm opportunities, there were—no ruined orgasms, no instructions to do prostate milking, and few teasing assignments. I wasn’t even allowed any solo attempts at teasing without instructions. As a result, my arousal dipped lower and lower until it felt like it sort of flat-lined.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but that doesn’t work for me. Unless I can sustain heightened arousal, chastity just isn’t fun or meaningful. It starts to feel like a chore for which there is never any reward.

I hung on as long as I could, but one day, I knew it was time to throw in the towel. So, I asked to be released from our contract and fulfilled the cancellation obligation stipulated in the contract. We exchanged a couple more messages, and that was it.

It was clear she wasn’t happy about me quitting, even though I carried out all my responsibilities with the hope of ending things on a positive note. I suppose I understand that. Maybe she felt she had wasted her time on me. And, I think she may have taken my decision to quit as criticism of her as a keyholder, though it wasn’t like that all.

LJ, I believe, was the best keyholder I could have found for my first time in chastity. She was knowledgeable, experienced, and caring. In the beginning, I really thought we would be together for a very long time.

I don’t place any responsibility for my decision to quit on her. It was all me. I think I just needed more from her than she could give. LJ doesn’t make her living from keyholding. It’s only a side gig doing something she enjoys. And, she is very popular in online keyholding circles. She holds keys for a lot of guys. So, she simply doesn’t have enough hours in a day to give every guy as much personal attention as he might want or feel he needs.

Without regular teasing assignments and her prohibition against me doing anything on my own, I just couldn’t sustain the level of arousal to stay with the program. I became irritable all the time, and that just wasn’t fair to the people who must deal with me daily in the real world.

Though I was unhappy about quitting LJ, I never felt I was abandoning chastity. It is something I think benefits me. I took a few days to reset and re-calibrate, and then I started self-locking. That was okay for a while, but solo chastity is hard and not that much fun. It wasn’t long until I started searching for another keyholder, and found one. She locked me for the first time last week.

A New Keyholder

At the moment, we’re doing a two-week trial before discussing something more long-term. I must say, the difference so far for me has been like night and day. While I don’t have daily contact with my new keyholder as I did with LJ, she gave me teasing assignments at the start to do twice daily over the entire two-week period. That’s been the difference. The tasks keep my head bumping against the ceiling of heightened arousal, and I’m getting the steady drip of dopamine that most of us chaste guys crave. I couldn’t believe how quickly the first week has passed for me.

It’s not at all that I feel my current keyholder is better than LJ. She is just different and has a different way of going about things. It’s too early to say whether she will LJ’s permanent replacement, but I’ve been more than happy with the way things have gone so far. During my search for a new keyholder, I had found several potential keyholders who intrigued me. So, I still have options. But I’m leaning towards doing a full month with the woman holding my keys right now before I consider trying someone else. Only a little more time will tell if we’re a good long-term fit.

So, I’m back in the saddle for now, and I’m going to borrow an idea from pcguy, the blogger at Thrill Of The Chaste. He has a page on his site where you can see his current status—lock or unlocked. I love that idea, so I’m putting a similar page on my website. Just look for the tab in the menu, My Current Status, if you want to check mine.

LJ was great, and I’m sure I’ll continue missing her. I’ll miss the great chats we used to have and doing my best to please her. But life is about change. And usually, things happen the way they do because that’s the way they were supposed to happen.

Thanks for reading. I’ll keep you updated on the developments with my new keyholder.

chastity keyholders male chastity

Ladies Start A Lucrative Chastity Keyholder Side Gig

By Chaste on Sunday, May 31, 2020

With the explosion in interest in male chastity among everyday guys, now is an excellent time for enterprising ladies to start a lucrative chastity keyholder side gig.

The Market

There are lots of single guys out there who want to start wearing chastity devices, but they don’t have partners to ask to be their keyholders. Many of them are forced to go it alone. But going solo is hard and not very enjoyable for most guys.

The male brain has only a limited ability to say “no” day after day to something as strong as sexual desire. When a guy must depend on willpower alone to battle the fires in his loins, there’s a good chance he won’t last very long before taking the device off and taking things in hand. This situation presents a massive opportunity for women looking for a profitable side hustle to earn extra income.

While I’ve seen more women offering keyholding for-fee services, frankly, I’m amazed far more women aren’t jumping on the opportunity. That’s why I decided to write this post. I have no idea how many women visit Cut To The Chaste, but I’m hopeful I might persuade those who do to consider starting an online keyholding for-fee service.

What Is A Keyholder, Anyway?

Concisely put, a keyholder is a person who consents to possess the key to someone else’s chastity device physically. With a keyholder, chastity is about a guy transferring ownership of his penis to another. Literally. Once you, as a keyholder has told your client to lock his penis inside a chastity device, his penis belongs to you. It becomes your toy and exists solely for your pleasure and amusement.

You can allow your client to access and take out your toy and use it whenever you like. You can also make him lock it safely and securely back into the cage whenever you deem fit. The keyholder decides when or if a client may orgasm or enjoy sexual pleasure. She controls and denies his orgasms. This is a powerful concept and shows how much chastity and chastity play has a psychological component to it.

Eww, Isn’t Chastity Keyholding Sex Work?

Sure, I get it. Not everyone wants to be a sex worker. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But, holding the keys to a guy’s chastity cage long-distance is not sex work. There are sex workers who do it, like professional Dominatrices and Pro Dommes, but they offer a lot of other sexual-related services to go with keyholding. And most only do chastity play face-to-face sessions with their clients.

Did you know there is a specialist security service business called keyholding where a contracted security firm holds a set of keys to your commercial premises in a secure, off-site location to be used in the event of a security breach? Chastity keyholding is actually quite like that.

Being a keyholder is not about sharing intimate photos or having sexy chats with your clients. No cybersex is required. At its essence, it just about taking possession of and holding the keys to a client’s chastity device.

Of course, if you wish, there are plenty of related services you can offer your clients for additional fees. But any way you slice it, being a fee-based chastity keyholder is not sex work. It doesn’t require complying with a bunch of burdensome laws and regulations, and it’s all perfectly legal.

Why Start A Chastity Keyholding Service Side Gig

Maybe you’ve already been wondering how to make money—more money, that is.
Whether you want to get more aggressive with paying off student loans, digging yourself out of credit card debt, or paying for your next vacation, making extra money on the side is a smart strategy for working toward your goals.

There was a time when you could simply get a part-time job. But, in this era of COVID-19, that’s a lot harder to do nowadays. Also, many Americans have lost their full-time jobs thanks to the pandemic. Sadly, some of the jobs are never coming back.

Consequently, more people are getting side gigs, which allow them to set their own hours and rates. With a work from home side hustle, you’re your own boss, can decide what you do, when you do it, and how much you make.

Those individuals who were already working from home when the virus hit seem to have weathered the storm a little better than people who commuted to work every day. Owning a small business and working from home may be the future for a lot of us in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak.

Sure, there are plenty of other things you can choose from if you’re looking for a money-making side gig. But, I think you would have to look long and hard to find anything that comes even close to the small initial investment requirement and the upside growth potential of a chastity keyholder service.

How To Get Started

The good news is you probably already have the basics you need to start an online chastity keyholding service—a laptop, tablet computer, or smartphone. There are a few bells and whistles you can add to the basics, but it is possible to get started as a keyholder with no upfront investment.

Some enterprising ladies create a Twitter page and operate their keyholding service entirely on that platform. It doesn’t cost them a cent. That can work, but don’t expect to attain your full earning potential using only a dedicated Twitter account. I think it’s essential for a keyholder to establish a Twitter presence (separate from your private account), but the most successful services also have a webpage. The best practice is to use Twitter to point to your own website.

Let’s face it. Twitter was designed from the start as a minimalist social media platform. All the character limits Twitter imposes on users throughout the site makes it impossible for the owner of a keyholding service to provide enough information to potential clients to generate much interest. However, with your own website, you have unlimited space to make your service stand out, which will attract more clients.

For a website, you will need a domain name, hosting plan, and a website. Web hosts like Bluehost, the one I use, have hosting plans starting at as little as $3.95 per month. On average, the cost of a domain name is around $15.

You can use WordPress, the most popular and fully functional content management system available to build, launch, and manage a beautiful website, and WordPress is absolutely free. WordPress allows users of all levels of expertise to quickly get a website up and running using drag and drop features. If you would rather not spend money on a website, many keyholding service providers use the free website building and hosting plan offered by a company called Wix.

The Learning Curve

While wearing a male chastity device is a rather straightforward proposition, being a keyholder is a responsibility. A caged client is not only putting his pleasure but also his safety into your hands.

Unless you already know a lot about male chastity, you owe it to potential clients to learn as much as you can about male chastity devices and some of the problems that can arise when a guy wears one before offering the service. Luckily, there is a lot of information on how to be a responsible keyholder available on the Internet.

There are also many books available on the topic written by experienced female keyholders. One of them, Ladies Introduction To Male Chastity, by Jules Scot, is available as an eBook on Amazon. You can read the book free if you’re a Kindle Unlimited subscriber. Also, I have a book on the subject, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Male Chastity, that should be available in paperback by the time you read this, and that will be released in July as an eBook which will also be free to read by Kindle Unlimited subscribers.

How Much Can You Earn

As a small business owner, you can set your own rates. But, as a rule of thumb, most ladies who provide online keyholding services for between $40 and $50 per week. So, with only ten clients, you could expect to make $400 to $500 per week.

A few women charge less, and some charge more. The longer you operate a service and the more well known you become among male chastity device wearers, the higher the prices you can command.

How You Get Paid

Some online keyholders require payment in cash. Transactions can be conducted using PayPal or smartphone apps like Square Cash. Others accept payment only via digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon. All anyone needs to send you an Amazon gift card from nearly anywhere in the world is your email address. Some women accept cash or gift cards. They leave it up to their clients to choose how they pay. Obviously, as a service provider, you must require payment before providing your services.

Keep It Private

To maintain your privacy, choose a nom de guerre, a pseudonym, for your public presence on websites and social media. Many women use “Goddess” or “Mistress” in front of their assumed business name, which helps potential clients recognize the service you are offering. Also, create an email account to use specifically for your keyholding service for interactions with prospective clients.

How To Find Clients

Clients will find you by Googling search terms like “chastity keyholders” or “chastity keyholder service” if you have a website. They will also find you on social media platforms like Twitter if you maintain a social media presence. If you start a keyholding service or already have one, if you fill in the form on my contact page and let me know, I’ll be happy to list your service and contact details free right here on this site.

Online chastity keyholder services address a growing niche market. If you’re looking for a side gig to earn extra money, you might want to consider starting your own service.

Tag Archives: keyholder

7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself and Answer Before Having the Chastity Talk With Your Partner

To Know Thyself is the Beginning of Wisdom

1. Why do I want to be locked in chastity?

2. What do I expect chastity to do for me?

3. What is the maximum length of time I want to be locked up at a stretch?

4. Do I want to be dominated and subservient to my keyholder?

5. Do I have a submissive nature?

6. Do I want to use chastity to spice things up in the bedroom, or do I want it to become a way of life?

7. In what situations do I most want to be locked up? Are there occasions I won't want to be locked up?

Who Needs Frustration and Disappointment?

An Amicus Experiment Gone Wrong

A Welcome Discovery

The Amicus Device

MCN Quality And Service

Transitioned Into The CB-6000S Today

Sitrep on New Keyholder Status

New Chasity Cage Ordered

What Are Pro Keyholding Services?

How Much Does Pro Keyholding Cost?

Price Comparisons

Available Services

A Word About Professional Keyholders

Before You Contact A Pro

First Contact

Next Step

Agreement Or Contract

Fixed Duration Or Open-Ended

How Pros Enforce Chastity

Wrap Up

What Is A Keyholder

The Basics of Male Chastity

Orgasm Control & Denial

It Sounds So Selfish

Those Were The Days

What Do I Have To Do As His Keyholder?

Tease & Denial

Does Chastity Mean We Won’t Have Sex Anymore

Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All

I Have No One To Ask To Be My Keyholder

The Professionals

Professional Dominatrix

Professional Dommes

Other Service For-Fee Providers

Take Away

Bluer Than Blue

A New Keyholder