Sexual Teasing and Chastity—What it Is, Why It's Important, and How to Do It
There are many real and readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. But I’ll be honest. There are trade-offs too, things that will require time and effort on your part if you agree to enforce your husband or partner’s chastity. One of the things involved in the care and feeding of the male in chastity is the requirement for you to devote time and effort to teasing your man regularly.
Sexual teasing is a requisite for doing male chastity properly. It’s so essential that an absence of teasing will ruin the chastity experience for everyone. The necessity of sexual teasing in male chastity and a few tips on how to do it is the topic of this post, the third in the series focused on male chastity from the the female perspective.
If you missed the first two posts, you can find them here and here.
If Only Life Were Simple
If all a woman had to do was lock up her man’s penis, forget it, and reap the benefits, life would be simple. But life is never simple. The same goes for male chastity. If it was, more women would probably feel less reluctant to try male chastity when their men nervously suggest adding it to the relationship mix.
Most guys who desire male chastity would be so thrilled by a partner’s willingness to fulfill their desires by locking them up that for a time that’s all it takes to keep them happy. But as days stretch into weeks, the novelty of wearing a penis cage wears off. Chastity devices hold no inherent magic on their own. The magic comes in when a keyholder enforces chastity properly. Teasing is an essential part of that.
Why Locked and Forgetten Doesn't Work
A guy who is locked and forgotten soon becomes disenchanted with the whole idea of playing the chastity game. Unhappiness turns into dissatisfaction, then into feelings of resentment, and anger. That’s the direct opposite of what want to achieve by putting your man in chastity. That’s why teasing is such an important ingredient. Without it, the only results a woman will see from locking up her man is a petulant, angry, uncooperative guy who won’t want to play the game anymore.
What Teasing Accomplishes
As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s orgasms and his ability to play with his penis whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge mind fuck.
The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the desperation and his lack of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for guys to play. The more aroused a denied man stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.
But of course we men aren’t wired to sustain high levels of arousal indefinitely without encouragement, and part of being a keyholder and chastity enforcer is the responsibility to provide that encouragement.
Regular teasing is how you keep your man highly aroused and coming back for more. That’s how you reap consistent benefits—massages on demand, satisfying oral sex on your terms, and an eager helper with those household chores. Regular and consistent teasing is how you keep him interested in the game and focused on you. As a result, your confidence soars as you experience the power of being truly in control of your man and both of your sex lives. That is how male chastity is supposed to work.
Rinse and Repeat
To make chastity work for both of you, you cage your man. Your man becomes increasingly horny and needy. You tease your man, He becomes more horny and needy. He may even whine about how needy he feels and beg you to unlock him. But don’t give in. Just keep teasing and let his brain continue to stew in those lovely endorphins and hormones that orgasm denial produces. The more he whines and begs, the more you tease him.
Rinse and repeat for as long as you want him caged and want to reap the benefits of male chastity. Within reason of course. A point will come where the sexual frustration grows until his arousal can’t be sustained and you will have to unlock him and allow him relief. Then you lock him back up and the game begins anew. Just don’t unlock him too soon or too often. That’s because once you allow a guy to orgasm, you must start all over again at ground zero, and for at least a few days those lovely benefits for you will all but disappear.
Teasing in a Nutshell
Sexual teasing as it relates to male chastity is nothing more than providing some sort of sexual stimulation without allowing a man to orgasm. Teasing can be either physical or non-physical. It can be active or passive. You can remove the cage for teasing or leave it on as it is all up to you as the keyholder. Teasing needn’t consume lots of time. In most cases, a few minutes a day is all that’s required, although you can do it as much as you wish.
Through experimentation, you will soon learn how much teasing it takes to keep your man in that sweet spot of horniness and need. That may not be as much teasing as he wants, but will be as much as he needs to stay highly aroused.
Never feel you must devote entire evenings or hours on weekends to teasing your chaste mate. You will only suffer burnout trying to do too much teasing and then chastity won’t be any fun for you. And if it isn’t fun for you. Then you are the one who will tire of the chastity game.
Active Teasing
We might define active teasing as an activity where you must expend effort. Still, even active teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look first at a few examples of active, physical teasing.
Active Physical Teasing
Physically touching your partner’s genitals with your hands, fingers, or feet is one example of active, physical teasing. That is easily accomplished with his cage locked on since his testicles are exposed and readily available for stimulation. If you’re comfortable with anal play, your caged man’s anus is another fertile target for active, physical teasing. Some chastity couples enjoy introducing pegging into their sexual relationship as a form of teasing.
Removing your man’s cage and permitting him PIV sex is another form of active-physical teasing. The key is not allowing him to orgasm. When you sense he is getting too excited, make him stop until he calms down. Continue with the start and stop, or simply lock him back up when you tire of it.
Regardless of how you choose to do it. active, physical teasing gives your guy the physical sexual stimulation he craves that will keep him horny, needy, and totally focused on you. Now let’s look at active, non-physical teasing.
Active Non-Physical Teasing
Active, non-physical teasing is as simple as you wearing as little as possible around the house when you and your partner are home alone. On weekends, a former partner of mine used to wear only panties and a tight tee-shirt without a bra when we were home alone. She liked dressing comfortably at home, but she also enjoyed teasing me.
Rather than wearing as little as possible, active-non-physical teasing could be wearing sexy clothing like tight shorts or pants, or wearing short dresses while making sure to bend over frequently in your partner’s view.
The ideas here are literally limited only by your imagination. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out how to use your feminine form to maximum effect when you wish to appear alluring to a guy.
Passive Teasing
Let’s define passive teasing as an activity where you don’t have to expend effort, at least not effort to affect the teasing.
Here again, passive teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look at some examples of passive, physical teasing.
Passive Physical Teasing
What comes easily to mind, is you allowing your caged partner to give you oral sex. It’s passive in the sense all you must do is relax and enjoy receiving it.
Similarly, you might masturbate while allowing your caged partner to watch without participating. Yes, you’re expending some effort, but it’s all focused on you so that’s why I consider it passive. I can’t imagine any guy who wouldn’t find that a huge turn-on.
You could switch it around by removing the cage and allowing your partner to masturbate while all you do is passively watch. You might make him perform edges where he masturbates right up to the point of climax, but then has to stop.
Edging is the most fun when you make a guy do series of edges. He masturbates to the edge of orgasm, stops until he calms down, and then repeats the process all over, again and again, for a set number of times. Just don’t allow him to orgasm and lock him back up when you tire of the game.
Other examples of passive, physical teasing is allowing your partner to give you foot or back massages, or allowing him to rub his now useless, caged genitals against your bare bottom when you’re in bed together.
Passive Non-Physical Teasing
Here again, we find virtually endless possibilities for teasing that require no real time or effort on your part and no physical contact.
You might make hubby wear nothing but a pair of your old panties or a pair you bought specifically for him with a tee shirt whenever you’re home alone and while he takes care of whatever household chores you’ve assigned. Unless he is into cross-dressing, he will find that embarrassing, maybe even slightly humiliating. But if he is horny and needy enough, he won’t refuse. And I can almost guarantee the mild embarrassment will cause the contents of his cage to swell uncomfortably the entire time. You can up the ante by telling him how sexy in looks in women’s panties and that you’re thinking about requiring him to wear them as his regular underwear.
Assigning your partner household chores can of itself serve as a form of passive, non-physical teasing. Most guys find it arousing when a woman takes charge and puts them to work cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets, etc. while she reclines on the couch watching her favorite television program or reads a book.
Dropping verbal hints that you can’t decide when you might unlock your partner and allow him some relief or making statements that you’re thinking seriously about keeping him locked up permanently is a good form of passive, non-physical teasing.
Some guys like it when their partner tells them how useless or pathetic or tiny their penises look when caged. This is a form of mild humiliation and some men find it very arousing. But unless you already know your man gets off on it, you may want to take it easy at first if you decide to try it.
Continuing with the mild humiliation form of teasing, while you’re out at the mall or supermarket or some other public place, you might point out some attractive guy to your partner. Then say, something like, “I bet that guy has a huge, man-sized cock, honey. It’s making me wet just thinking about what sex might be like with him.” Or use one of your partner’s male co-workers or friends you know in a similar way. Say something like, “You know, honey, I’ve always imagined that [insert person’s name] has a really big cock, much bigger than your tiny thing. I bet he can really satisfy a woman.”
Through passive, non-physical teasing, you get a lot of mileage with little or no real effort on your part that will keep your hubby or partner feeling horny and desperately needy.
More Resources
Here we’ve looked at only the tip of the teasing iceberg with a few examples to stimulate your imagination. If you need more examples, I have a couple of resources I can recommend.
Georgia Ivey Green has a good book on the subject, The Ultimate Guide to Teasing and Denial. I’ve provided the Amazon link so you can use the look inside feature. But the book is also available from other retailers.
My Boy in Chastity’s Blog, is another good resource for teasing ideas. The blogger is a woman whose husband’s request for chastity caught her completely off-guard. She writes about her experiences with it. While this blog is now inactive, it still contains lots of great information for women whose partner’s desire chastity. She learned as she went along, but in the end became exceptionally adept at teasing her husband and keeping his arousal peaking.
Now that you know more about what teasing is with regard to male chastity and that it is pretty simple, maybe it seems less of a barrier to trying chastity with your partner.