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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 29: Fun and Games

By Chaste on Sunday, October 29, 2023

Sure, chastity is all about serving and suffering for your keyholder, but it should also be about fun. If it wasn’t fun for those of us who embrace chastity, few of us would probably want to continue wearing a device locked on our genitals. Today, the service and suffering takes a back seat as the 31 Days of Chastity Day 29 prompt spotlights the fun and games aspect of chastity.

What is your favorite Chastity Game? What does it involve, and how often do you play it?

Chastity games might cause some to think we’re talking about people who only practice chastity for brief periods to spice up things in the bedroom with a little kink. But fun and games are just as much a part of the chastity lifestyle.

I’ve read about many chastity games couples have created using things like dice and playing cards to introduce randomness to their play. And my favorite chastity game, which Lucie introduced to me, uses a pair of six-sided dice. Lucie has me roll the dice and then I have to perform the number of edges corresponding to the total of the two dice using a wand vibrator against my cage. What varies is how often she requires me to roll the dice.

Sometimes, when she is giving me other teasing assignments, she only makes me roll the dice once a day, using the edges to spike my arousal. Other times, she requires “all day edges” where I only roll a single die, but must roll once every hour from the time I wake until I go to bed, performing the number of edges every hour the roll dictates. And occasionally, she will require me to roll the dice and edge two or three times during a single day.

I enjoy this game for several reasons. The randomness appeals to me. And I just plain enjoy doing the edges since when I’m locked it is the closest thing to sexual pleasure I usually get. Of course, I suffer for the fun after doing the edges because it always leaves me not only horny but insanely frustrated. Still, it’s all good fun. The edging keeps my arousal peaking and the dopamine dripping. And the edging also often makes other assignments Lucie gives more fun and arousing than they would otherwise be.

The dice games are simple, but I always enjoy it when Lucie assigns them. I get a little pleasure and Lucie gets the suffering she enjoys so much.

Only two days left in the meme and Locktober 2023. 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 30 features a topic of my choosing. Check back tomorrow if you want to see what is.

Okay, the padlock’s off now. Write about any Chastity related subject you like. Or create a list of chastity related things.

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

You Can’t Domme Without Feedback

By Chaste on Friday, August 18, 2023

One of Lucie’s many pithy pearls of wisdom is: “You can’t domme without feedback.”

The past five weeks since Lucie returned from vacation have been intense. She has kept me locked for 43 days, and thanks to my voluntary three-month period of celibacy when I committed to Chastity 90 back in May, I have not had a single orgasm, not even a ruined one, for 109 days. Lucie, now in full command since Chastity 90 ended, seems happy to keep me locked and orgasm free.

As part of our dynamic, Lucie requires me to submit a written report each Saturday since she feels you can’t domme without feedback. One requirement for the report is I must rate my perceived levels of sexual desire (horniness) and sexual frustration using a scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high). This week, I have been rocking a steady 5 in both categories. Truthfully, I can’t recall having ever been this horny, and this frustrated for such a sustained period.

Usually, after two weeks of wearing a cage, I sort of slip into cruise control where my arousal is above my normal baseline when I am not locked and denied, but my frustration levels off where it’s easily endurable. With Lucie, it doesn’t work that way.

Arousal has built quickly to escape velocity, using the parlance of rocket launches, and stays there. My balls never relax, like when the cruise control thing happens. Instead, they remain big and tightly pressed against the base ring, which is damn uncomfortable. And for two straight weeks, I have awakened each morning to attempted morning wood, pushing the cage as far from my body as the base ring allows. Not only that, I get attempted erections in the daytime for no reason, and sometimes leak with no apparent cause.

All well and good, since sexual desire feels amazingly pleasurable. But Lucie doesn’t care as much about that as she does about ramping up the sexual frustration level to excruciating heights. That’s more in keeping with her sadistic nature. “If you’re not suffering, it’s not submission.” She is far more apt to adjust her input when the feedback doesn’t show that I’m frustrated enough to suit her beautiful, sadistic mind than if my horniness level isn’t up to snuff. In a word, I’m suffering with no end in sight.

When I first contacted Lucie, I was only looking to spend a month locked by a keyholder as a change of pace from a steady diet of self-locking. That’s what I’ve always done in the past when I’ve engaged a professional keyholder. But things haven’t worked out that way with Lucie, and we’re well on our way to reaching the 4-month mark.

I’ve stayed locked for way over 43 days many times, but only once has a keyholder kept me locked this long before. That was my very first keyholder, who kept me locked for over sixty days. But she allowed me to have one ruined and one full orgasm during that time.

I do not know when Lucie intends to unlock me. Not a clue. But when we talked last Tuesday, I mentioned hitting 5 on the scales for both variables and all she said was, “Already? I suppose the coming weeks will be hard for you.” Sure, that was so hot when she said it. But sobering when I thought about it later. Weeks? Definitely more than one. But “weeks” could mean anything. Two weeks? Three? And there are 52 weeks in a year, perish the thought. Weeks could mean anything. Thankfully, she didn’t say months.

So, yeah, it’s getting real in Lucieville. But that’s okay. I absolutely love her. No, not in some creepy, besotted way. That isn’t the dynamic of our relationship. And the reason I prefer a pro over a lifestyle domme is I don’t want a romantic relationship. I only want an experienced, dominant woman to enforce my chastity. And Lucie is the most amazing keyholder and domme I’ve ever had. That’s why we’ve gone almost four months, and why I want to keep going.

I mentioned to her a week or so ago that I couldn’t help wishing for a more permanent arrangement with her. I expected her to remind me that isn’t what she does. But to my surprise, she said she has fun with me and unlike many she has held keys for, I’m not clingy or demanding and I understand the dynamic of our relationship. Then she said she would think about it.

Wow! I couldn’t have been happier. So, we’ll see what comes of it. I enjoy things as they are now, but I would love her to take more control and all the time, not just during negotiated periods. If she does that, I’ll never have to look for another keyholder and wouldn’t want to. Lucie is special, and you can’t replace that. Sometimes you get lucky and find someone who fits you perfectly. That’s Lucie for me. And you better believe I know how lucky I am.

chastity keyholders

The Care and Feeding of the Male in Chastity

By Chaste on Thursday, March 11, 2021

Sexual Teasing and Chastity—What it Is, Why It's Important, and How to Do It

There are many real and readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. But I’ll be honest. There are trade-offs too, things that will require time and effort on your part if you agree to enforce your husband or partner’s chastity. One of the things involved in the care and feeding of the male in chastity is the requirement for you to devote time and effort to teasing your man regularly.

Sexual teasing is a requisite for doing male chastity properly. It’s so essential that an absence of teasing will ruin the chastity experience for everyone. The necessity of sexual teasing in male chastity and a few tips on how to do it is the topic of this post, the third in the series focused on male chastity from the the female perspective.

If you missed the first two posts, you can find them here and here.

If Only Life Were Simple

If all a woman had to do was lock up her man’s penis, forget it, and reap the benefits, life would be simple. But life is never simple. The same goes for male chastity. If it was, more women would probably feel less reluctant to try male chastity when their men nervously suggest adding it to the relationship mix.

Most guys who desire male chastity would be so thrilled by a partner’s willingness to fulfill their desires by locking them up that for a time that’s all it takes to keep them happy. But as days stretch into weeks, the novelty of wearing a penis cage wears off. Chastity devices hold no inherent magic on their own. The magic comes in when a keyholder enforces chastity properly. Teasing is an essential part of that.

Why Locked and Forgetten Doesn't Work

A guy who is locked and forgotten soon becomes disenchanted with the whole idea of playing the chastity game. Unhappiness turns into dissatisfaction, then into feelings of resentment, and anger. That’s the direct opposite of what want to achieve by putting your man in chastity. That’s why teasing is such an important ingredient. Without it, the only results a woman will see from locking up her man is a petulant, angry, uncooperative guy who won’t want to play the game anymore.

What Teasing Accomplishes

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s orgasms and his ability to play with his penis whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge mind fuck.

The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the desperation and his lack of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for guys to play. The more aroused a denied man stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.

But of course we men aren’t wired to sustain high levels of arousal indefinitely without encouragement, and part of being a keyholder and chastity enforcer is the responsibility to provide that encouragement.

Regular teasing is how you keep your man highly aroused and coming back for more. That’s how you reap consistent benefits—massages on demand, satisfying oral sex on your terms, and an eager helper with those household chores. Regular and consistent teasing is how you keep him interested in the game and focused on you. As a result, your confidence soars as you experience the power of being truly in control of your man and both of your sex lives. That is how male chastity is supposed to work.

Rinse and Repeat

To make chastity work for both of you, you cage your man. Your man becomes increasingly horny and needy. You tease your man, He becomes more horny and needy. He may even whine about how needy he feels and beg you to unlock him. But don’t give in. Just keep teasing and let his brain continue to stew in those lovely endorphins and hormones that orgasm denial produces. The more he whines and begs, the more you tease him.

Rinse and repeat for as long as you want him caged and want to reap the benefits of male chastity. Within reason of course. A point will come where the sexual frustration grows until his arousal can’t be sustained and you will have to unlock him and allow him relief. Then you lock him back up and the game begins anew. Just don’t unlock him too soon or too often. That’s because once you allow a guy to orgasm, you must start all over again at ground zero, and for at least a few days those lovely benefits for you will all but disappear.

Teasing in a Nutshell

Sexual teasing as it relates to male chastity is nothing more than providing some sort of sexual stimulation without allowing a man to orgasm. Teasing can be either physical or non-physical. It can be active or passive. You can remove the cage for teasing or leave it on as it is all up to you as the keyholder. Teasing needn’t consume lots of time. In most cases, a few minutes a day is all that’s required, although you can do it as much as you wish.

Through experimentation, you will soon learn how much teasing it takes to keep your man in that sweet spot of horniness and need. That may not be as much teasing as he wants, but will be as much as he needs to stay highly aroused.

Never feel you must devote entire evenings or hours on weekends to teasing your chaste mate. You will only suffer burnout trying to do too much teasing and then chastity won’t be any fun for you. And if it isn’t fun for you. Then you are the one who will tire of the chastity game.

Active Teasing

We might define active teasing as an activity where you must expend effort. Still, even active teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look first at a few examples of active, physical teasing.

Active Physical Teasing

Physically touching your partner’s genitals with your hands, fingers, or feet is one example of active, physical teasing. That is easily accomplished with his cage locked on since his testicles are exposed and readily available for stimulation. If you’re comfortable with anal play, your caged man’s anus is another fertile target for active, physical teasing. Some chastity couples enjoy introducing pegging into their sexual relationship as a form of teasing.

Removing your man’s cage and permitting him PIV sex is another form of active-physical teasing. The key is not allowing him to orgasm. When you sense he is getting too excited, make him stop until he calms down. Continue with the start and stop, or simply lock him back up when you tire of it.

Regardless of how you choose to do it. active, physical teasing gives your guy the physical sexual stimulation he craves that will keep him horny, needy, and totally focused on you. Now let’s look at active, non-physical teasing.

Active Non-Physical Teasing

Active, non-physical teasing is as simple as you wearing as little as possible around the house when you and your partner are home alone. On weekends, a former partner of mine used to wear only panties and a tight tee-shirt without a bra when we were home alone. She liked dressing comfortably at home, but she also enjoyed teasing me.

Rather than wearing as little as possible, active-non-physical teasing could be wearing sexy clothing like tight shorts or pants, or wearing short dresses while making sure to bend over frequently in your partner’s view.

The ideas here are literally limited only by your imagination. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out how to use your feminine form to maximum effect when you wish to appear alluring to a guy.

Passive Teasing

Let’s define passive teasing as an activity where you don’t have to expend effort, at least not effort to affect the teasing.

Here again, passive teasing may be physical or non-physical. Let’s look at some examples of passive, physical teasing.

Passive Physical Teasing

What comes easily to mind, is you allowing your caged partner to give you oral sex. It’s passive in the sense all you must do is relax and enjoy receiving it.

Similarly, you might masturbate while allowing your caged partner to watch without participating. Yes, you’re expending some effort, but it’s all focused on you so that’s why I consider it passive. I can’t imagine any guy who wouldn’t find that a huge turn-on.

You could switch it around by removing the cage and allowing your partner to masturbate while all you do is passively watch. You might make him perform edges where he masturbates right up to the point of climax, but then has to stop.

Edging is the most fun when you make a guy do series of edges. He masturbates to the edge of orgasm, stops until he calms down, and then repeats the process all over, again and again, for a set number of times. Just don’t allow him to orgasm and lock him back up when you tire of the game.

Other examples of passive, physical teasing is allowing your partner to give you foot or back massages, or allowing him to rub his now useless, caged genitals against your bare bottom when you’re in bed together.

Passive Non-Physical Teasing

Here again, we find virtually endless possibilities for teasing that require no real time or effort on your part and no physical contact.

You might make hubby wear nothing but a pair of your old panties or a pair you bought specifically for him with a tee shirt whenever you’re home alone and while he takes care of whatever household chores you’ve assigned. Unless he is into cross-dressing, he will find that embarrassing, maybe even slightly humiliating. But if he is horny and needy enough, he won’t refuse. And I can almost guarantee the mild embarrassment will cause the contents of his cage to swell uncomfortably the entire time. You can up the ante by telling him how sexy in looks in women’s panties and that you’re thinking about requiring him to wear them as his regular underwear.

Assigning your partner household chores can of itself serve as a form of passive, non-physical teasing. Most guys find it arousing when a woman takes charge and puts them to work cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets, etc. while she reclines on the couch watching her favorite television program or reads a book.

Dropping verbal hints that you can’t decide when you might unlock your partner and allow him some relief or making statements that you’re thinking seriously about keeping him locked up permanently is a good form of passive, non-physical teasing.

Some guys like it when their partner tells them how useless or pathetic or tiny their penises look when caged. This is a form of mild humiliation and some men find it very arousing. But unless you already know your man gets off on it, you may want to take it easy at first if you decide to try it.

Continuing with the mild humiliation form of teasing, while you’re out at the mall or supermarket or some other public place, you might point out some attractive guy to your partner. Then say, something like, “I bet that guy has a huge, man-sized cock, honey. It’s making me wet just thinking about what sex might be like with him.” Or use one of your partner’s male co-workers or friends you know in a similar way. Say something like, “You know, honey, I’ve always imagined that [insert person’s name] has a really big cock, much bigger than your tiny thing. I bet he can really satisfy a woman.”

Through passive, non-physical teasing, you get a lot of mileage with little or no real effort on your part that will keep your hubby or partner feeling horny and desperately needy.

More Resources

Here we’ve looked at only the tip of the teasing iceberg with a few examples to stimulate your imagination. If you need more examples, I have a couple of resources I can recommend.

Georgia Ivey Green has a good book on the subject, The Ultimate Guide to Teasing and Denial. I’ve provided the Amazon link so you can use the look inside feature. But the book is also available from other retailers.

My Boy in Chastity’s Blog, is another good resource for teasing ideas. The blogger is a woman whose husband’s request for chastity caught her completely off-guard. She writes about her experiences with it. While this blog is now inactive, it still contains lots of great information for women whose partner’s desire chastity. She learned as she went along, but in the end became exceptionally adept at teasing her husband and keeping his arousal peaking.

Now that you know more about what teasing is with regard to male chastity and that it is pretty simple, maybe it seems less of a barrier to trying chastity with your partner.

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Chasity boy of little faith

By Chaste on Sunday, January 5, 2020

As she has a way of doing, LJ completely destroyed my “I’m not getting any sexual teasing” complaint from the previous post. Funny thing is I didn’t even bring it up. Sometimes, I think the woman knows men so well she always knows what I’m thinking. Anyway, here is what happened.

After publishing yesterday’s post, LJ and I were chatting. I asked her a question about something that wasn’t even related to the disappointment I have felt over the absence of teasing, and there being nothing sexual as a part of the dynamic thus far. In answering the question I asked, she went on to answer the questions I didn’t.

LJ told me that many of the guys she is the key holder are allowed sexual playtime as rewards when she feels they have earned it. She then told me this. I wasn’t there yet. I was in training, my first introduction to chastity, so my circumstances were very different. Experiencing denial, and learning to cope with the building sexual need and frustration was what I needed first before I’d be ready for teasing and the other sexual stuff. She believes learning to master that first will make me appreciate it all the more when she does allow me orgasms. More importantly, I will then truly understand that she is the only one that allows me pleasure and it never comes easily.

Makes sense. It was reassuring to know I’m not just being locked and forgotten, and that th3 dynamic between us will continue to evolve as I gain experience. And she was right. I am completely new to all this and haven’t earned anything. I just need to be patient and have faith and trust in her judgment. There was one thing about it that wasn’t so comforting.

The reminder I was in training seemed to make one thing clear. I shouldn’t expect any dramatic changes in how things go until I complete the thirty-day training program I signed up for. Like for example, I’m probably not going to get any full-on satisfying orgasms during the next 18 days. I may be lucky to get even another health and welfare ruined one. The jury is still out on the teasing part. But, you know something. Now, I’m content to wait for it because this has only increased my trust in LJ. I have to hand it to her. The woman knows what she is doing.

The very best part of getting answers to unasked questions is that it has removed the doubts I had that LJ and I may not be compatible enough to continue long-term after the 30 days of chastity training are done. Now, more than ever, I believe we are.

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