This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, focuses on guys who are not in a committed romantic relationship at the moment but are interested in trying chastity. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.
In The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, we defined the term keyholder. I won’t repeat the definition here, so if you haven’t read the first part of the multi-part post, you can click on the above link and review it if you wish.
As noted in the first part of this post, a keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly for men in relationships, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner. A guy not in a relationship doesn’t have this built-in option. That can make finding a keyholder at least somewhat more challenging. But it is not impossible.
Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All
Is it even necessary to have a keyholder to try chastity? Can’t a guy just self-lock or use one of the many virtual chastity device keyholders you can easily find on the web? Sure, you can do that, and some men find that an acceptable option. Just understand you won’t get the full chastity experience if you go about it that way. Locking your device and then handing over the keys to another human being to control takes chastity to a whole other level.
Most guys who try self-locking get bored right away. And, let’s face it. Self-locking is hard. You become entirely dependent on willpower to control those same urges that may have often sent you to a porn site with your penis in your hand. Most of us don’t have the willpower to last very long on our own. Also, starting your chastity journey alone is a lonely way to go. If what you want is the chastity lifestyle instead of just chastity play, a keyholder is a must.
I Have No One To Ask To Be My Keyholder
I hear a lot of guys say, I’d really like to try chastity, and I know I won’t enjoy self-locking. But I have no one to ask to be my keyholder. When I hear that, I think what they probably mean is that they are hesitant to ask someone to be their keyholder. It’s really quite like how we are sometimes timid about asking out a girl we like because we’re afraid she will say no. None of us enjoys rejection. I get that. Also, guys may fear if they bring up chastity with a girl, they believe she will think they are weird or something. But, the truth is, most guys know someone they could ask if they would only do it.
Most of us have females as platonic friends. A good many of us have ex-girlfriends. Both of those are good options. I have always tended to remain friends with my ex-girlfriends after the romantic relationships ended. Just because we weren’t a good fit for a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good friends. Out of my last four ex-girlfriends, I’d be comfortable with asking three of them to be my keyholder. At least two of those I’m pretty sure would agree to do it. I also have two female friends I’ve never dated that are definite maybes.
A guy I spoke with on a chastity website in a chat room once told me that one of his ex-girlfriends had been his keyholder for years. He’d mail her his keys, and she’d give him a date when he could ask to have them back. When he asked, she would either send the keys back or give him a new date when he could ask again. He said she liked being his keyholder so much he was concerned about one thing. He worried someday he would ask for the keys back, and she would not only say no, but she’d also say there would be no new release dates. Then he’d find himself in permanent chastity.
As long as the relationship with an ex-girlfriend ended amicably, and you are still in regular contact, she might be only too happy to mail out a lock or some keys once in a while and set a release date. It’s hardly any effort on her part, and it allows her to keep a thumb on the scales of your life. We could say pretty much the same thing about platonic female friends.
In both cases, you just need to do a good job of explaining to them your interest in chastity and what you want them to do. And make sure you tell them that if they agree to be your keyholder, they are allowed to exercise their independent judgment about when they give you releases.
The truth is, there are something like 3.5 billion females on the planet. Unless a guy is a castaway on some deserted island, it’s hard to make the case he has no one to ask to be his keyholder. But, if you’re too shy to ask a female you know, or too afraid she will think you’re a freak for the asking, then you have other options.
The Professionals
Beyond platonic friends and ex-girlfriends, a keyholder can also be a professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. There are advantages and disadvantages to using a pro. An advantage is you don’t have to explain chastity to them. They probably know more about it than you do, and they will also probably know all about the different chastity device options. The disadvantage is you must pay them to enforce your chastity, and in some cases, they will insist upon making all the rules without any concern for what you may want in your chastity experience. Let’s look at three options.
Professional Dominatrix
Most professional dominatrices offer enforced chastity services. But they will often be the most expensive option. These ladies often make their livings from indulging the kinks of their clients. If you live in a large city, chances are you can even find a local one. If so, you can probably schedule a face-to-face session where she will physically lock you in your device.
You can also connect with one online via Skype or some similar video and voice platform, and she will supervise while you lock yourself. These women also offer a wide array of other services tailored to kink enthusiasts, tease and denial as one example. Since a professional dominatrix sets her own prices, it would be useless for me to try and offer price specifics. Let’s just say you should expect to pay them hundreds of dollars per hour, whether you are looking for an in-person or online video-based session. Almost always, you pay a dominatrix in cash, or by online cash transfers. You find these women on the Internet. They are small businesspersons, and all have a web and social media presence.
Professional Dommes
Professional Dommes are similar to professional dominatrices regarding the kind of services they offer. They, too, can be on the expensive side, but not usually as expensive as a professional dominatrix. Again, in larger cities, you may find them locally. Also, there are many of them online. Some charge per hour for sessions like their dominatrix sisters, but some offer basic enforced chastity keyholding services at a standard weekly rate. I’ve used one such online service, which was very reasonable in price.
If you want something besides keyholding, like tease and denial sessions or online assignments, be prepared to pay extra. Usually, you pay pro-dommes in cash, or by online cash transfers. You also find pro-dommes on the Internet. A web search on the term “chastity keyholder” will return lots of website links for your consideration.
Other Service For-Fee Providers
The recent explosive growth of interest in chastity among men has created a cottage-like industry to address the increased demand for chastity keyholders. These women are almost exclusively online, distant keyholders. Women, from college students to homemakers to lifestyle dommes, are prepared to be your keyholder for a nominal fee. It tends to be a side gig for them instead of a full-time job.
Many of these service for-fee providers have websites, but a lot of them operate off social media platforms like Twitter. While they have set fees, the costs for keyholding are typically much less than you would pay a dominatrix or pro-domme. Another difference is many of these providers don’t accept cash. Instead, they require payments (they term “tributes”) via online digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon and other retailers.
Take Away
I believe having a “lifestyle” keyholder, a platonic friend or ex-girlfriend, is the best option, and not only because it’s free. I think it is just a better experience, closer to what men in relationships enjoy from having a wife or partner as their keyholder. But, if that’s not an option for you, there are professional ladies out there willing to hold your keys for a fee.
With all the options available, I don’t see a reason any guy has to self-lock and go it alone. There are the virtual keyholding services out there you can find on the web, some that are free for basic service, and some at a nominal charge. But comparing a virtual keyholding service to a flesh and blood keyholder to me is like comparing a Fleshlight to a girlfriend. It just isn’t the same.
That wraps up The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Keyholder. Thanks for reading. I hope you learned something or that the posts at least sparked a few ideas for you. Good luck finding your perfect keyholder, or one as perfect as your circumstances allow.