The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity

By Chaste on Friday, May 29, 2020

My labor of love, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chasity, is now in editing. It will be released on Amazon July 14, 2020. In the future I may make the book available on the sites of other online booksellers. But for at least the first six months it will be available exclusively on Amazon so that it can be offered free to those who subscribe to Kindle Unlimited. The book will also be published simultaneously in trade paperback.

I have attempted to put together a comprehensive guide with everything you need to know in one place about male chastity in the 21st century. When I first got involved with chastity, I couldn’t find a book like this. I still can’t. There are books for new keyholders, books for male chastity within the dynamics of full on female led relationships, books on chastity devices, and tons of male chastity erotica. So, I decided to write the kind of book I wish had been available when I was new to chastity.

I have divided The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity into two parts. Part 1 is aimed at guys interested in learning more about male chastity who are considering trying it. I have devoted Part 2, to women whose male partners have asked their wives and partners to put them in chastity devices and to become their keyholders.

Want to know more? You can click on the “Chastity Guide” tab on the menu above to go to the book’s page on this website, or you can visit the Amazon product page.

Note: The free preview link below will not show a preview until July 14 since the title is currently on pre-order status.

permanent chastity

The road goes on forever in chastity

By Chaste on Monday, January 20, 2020

“The road goes on forever and the party never ends,” says the lyrics of a Robert Earl Keen song. I suppose that fairly describes my circumstances with regard to my chastity experience.

As mentioned at the end of a previous post, my 30-day introduction to chastity and training agreement with Lady Jayne ends in three days. At the outset last month, she told me if things went well, she might extend a permanent ownership offer. If we both agreed, our arrangement might be extended indefinitely. That ownership offer came during our regular catch up chat last evening.

When I first started all this and reached out to LJ when seeking a keyholder, I was attempting to satisfy my curiosity about male chastity. I was committed to completing the 30-day trial agreement we made, but wasn’t sure I wanted to be locked permanently. Yet as the days and weeks ticked by, I found a stronger, deeper attraction to both the lifestyle and LJ’s control.

Halfway through I knew I wanted us to continue. At times LJ would speak about things which sounded more like her long-term plans for me than something more immediate. And she has been generous in her praise of how I’ve behaved under her authority. So, for a while now I’ve been confident she would make an ownership offer. I’d been thinking a lot the last several days about whether that was something I truly wanted.

Somehow the topic came up in conversation last evening, and LJ told me she had made her decision so it was time for me to make mine. She laid out the terms and gave me an idea of how things would differ from how they have gone the past four weeks. She told me about some additional areas she would expect to assume control over, and about a few of the perks I could expect with the move to a more permanent status.

The new areas she wants authority over all relate to enhancing her control over my access to sexual pleasure and stimulation. As two examples, I won’t be allowed to watch porn without her permission or order/use any new sex toys without her approval. Nothing major or anything I had any objections to. Perks LJ mentioned included more time with her and more frequent, structured teasing. I’ve already been very pleased with the access she has given me, and I’m all in on more intense teasing. So, I was happy enough with the added terms.

There was only one surprise. LJ doesn’t want a break. She wants to roll right into ownership at the end of our 30-day agreement. I on the other hand was of a different mind. I had been thinking about taking a break until the end of the month and restarting the first of February. But, LJ wasn’t down with me taking a week off “for a wank fest.“ She told me I could have a few days to think it over, but if I wanted to continue she intended we carry on without a break.

I didn’t need a few days to think it over. I knew I wanted to continue with LJ as my keyholder. A long-distance arrangement is what works best for me at the moment, and I’d researched quite well what is available in that regard before reaching out to LJ. She was hands down the best option I’d found which Is why I contacted her first. So, it wasn’t a difficult decision.

I have no interest in seeking a new keyholder because things have been so amazing with LJ. If she wants to carry on without a release, I reckon it is a small sacrifice to make on my part to skip a break. I can deal with it. I accepted her offer. Thursday LJ becomes my Domme and owner for the foreseeable future.

Looks like I’m now in permanent chastity. The road goes on forever and the party never ends.

submission

Chasing the chastity rabbit down the hole without a look back

By Chaste on Thursday, January 9, 2020

I was re-reading one of Thumper’s posts at Denying Thumper, where he talks about listening to a podcast and being taken aback when the hosts said something about not being into chastity for “behavior modification.” Thumper weighs in on the idea with, “Thing is, I can’t conceive of chastity as not modifying behavior. And not just the obvious tactical changes it enforces (no masturbating), but the big picture stuff, too.”

Nearing the end of my eighth consecutive day of being locked, I tend to agree with Thumper’s analysis. I’ll even go a step further. If we’re talking serious, long-term male chastity, I think behavior modification is the whole point of it. Consider what makes behavior modification work, as explained in this excerpt from a Psychology Today article.

“Behavior modification focuses on changing an individual’s environment in ways that increase the likelihood that certain behaviors will occur. Regardless of the specific approaches being used, ‘behavior change’ is always the goal.”

Source: “Understanding What Makes Behavior Modification Work.” Psychology Today. Oct. 2, 2018 web. Dec. 28, 2019.

It certainly alters a guy’s environment big time when his cock gets locked in a chastity device and he loses all access to it. The truth is most guys feel like the very core of their masculinity comes from their penis and being able to use it sexually. Chastity is a sea change in his environment. It’s bound to affect behavioral change.

This point is really being driven home to me today as I enter my second week of being locked in a chastity device. Sure, that isn’t a long time in the greater scheme of things, but it is another profound milestone for me as a novice. It has been an occasion for me to look inward and ponder some of the changes that have already started to take place. One very significant change immediately came to mind.

At first, when I became interested in trying male chastity, I’ll admit my motives were selfish. It was all about me. It was about experiencing something that seemed very erotic to think and fantasize about. I think you can see that in the early posts here on this blog. I remember being so frustrated when LJ wasn’t offering to do the things I expected, like teasing as one example. But, when I think about it today, my paradigm has changed considerably. I’m no longer thinking about what LJ can do for me. Instead, I’m thinking about how I can do more for her; how I can do more to show her my respect, admiration, and devotion. Each day it seems more important to me to please her in every way I can think of given the limitations imposed by our long-distance relationship.

This morning I had to admit to myself for the first time that as much as I love orgasms, I have started to love the feel of LJ’s control even more. In fact, I no longer want her to give me permission to orgasm because she thinks I want to, but only if it pleases her to allow it. Pleasing LJ has slowly turned into my prime directive. I have to admit that while I’ve never considered myself a submissive man, I am starting to feel very submissive toward LJ. One thing worries me about that.

Humility is a good thing. But at least to me, it is only attractive as long as it’s paired with self-confidence and proactivity. But it is starting to seem that being a chaste man tends to make me overly humble and submissive, completely reactive to LJ and her needs. To a degree, I feel I’m even becoming infatuated with LJ to a ridiculous degree.

Can a chaste man become so submissive, so servile, so single-mindedly focused on his keyholder and her happiness, and so docile that she eventually loses interest in him as a man? I’m not certain I want to be transformed into some kind of sycophant by this experience. I have no desire to have my masculinity completely stripped away.

But this fact remains. I have surrendered to LJ and have given her my complete trust. In doing that, I admit I have found true happiness. I have stopped struggling to be her equal and have submitted fully to her female authority.

In some ways, I feel like I’m on a greased ledge with no handholds, slowly sliding toward the drop-off into the abyss of chastity and there is nothing I can to slow it down.

The further I go down the rabbit hole with this, the more time I spend locked for LJ, the more I discover about myself. To be fair, I suppose that is the very reason I wanted to explore this.

pro-domme key holders

Chastity with a long-distance key holder

By Chaste on Saturday, January 4, 2020

If you’re unaware, I am utilizing the key holding services of a woman who lives quite a long distance from me. LJ is a pro-domme who specializes in providing chastity services.

Since I didn’t know anyone locally to act as my key holder when I settled on the idea of exploring male chastity, a key holding service was the only realistic option. I didn’t feel I’d find self-imposed chastity to be particularly compelling. I’ve seen a few other key holding services options on the webs, but they seem far too impersonal. I didn’t find those options any more attractive than going it solo.

I learned of LJ from someone I’d become familiar with in the male chastity scene who recommended her highly. After contacting LJ, she agreed to take me on board for the thirty-day trial we’re now engaged in. If at the end of the thirty days, if we seem a good fit and both agree, there is the option to extend the arrangement indefinitely.

Frankly, I’ve been very pleased with the experience so far. I think it fair to say my expectations have been far and away exceeded on nearly every level. For example, I didn’t expect LJ to be so personable and genuinely concerned about my health and welfare. After all, she provides the same service to lots of other men. I supposed she likely looked at it mostly as a job, and that I’d be just another guy on an assembly line of guys who wanted a woman to lock their dicks in a cage. It hasn’t been that way at all.

In fact, at times, I never even think about the other guys. LJ is great at making you feel you’re the only guy she holds a key for. She has also been far more generous with her time than I ever expected. She has a way about her that makes you feel you’re special to her, even though realistically you probably aren’t. So, it has been all good.

As time has passed, I’ve started to develop a genuine liking for LJ and even an emotional attachment for her after a fashion. No, I’m not developing a romantic crush on her, as I’m well aware of the dynamics and limitations of this partnership we now share. But, I think it fair to say I’m starting to think of LJ as a friend. At least as much as it is possible to form a friendship with someone you only know on the webs.

I’m happy with the circumstances as they are, for the most part. The cost is nominal in my estimation, and the fact is I feel I get far more from the arrangement than I’m paying for the services. That’s not to say there aren’t some real limitations involved in chastity with a long-distance key holder. There are, but maybe not what you might think if you’ve never had an arrangement with a pro-domme.

Ease of cheating

The opportunity to cheat, to have illicit orgasms, is likely the most obvious shortcoming most people would think of when it comes to long-distance chastity enforcement. I’ve read on the webs many accounts by guys about how easily they can remove their ball trapping cages without unlocking them while soaped up in the shower. I suppose it is very possible to do that. In fact I can see how it is easy with certain cages.

Looking at my cage, I can imagine I might be able with enough lubrication to withdraw my penis. But, I’d never try to do it. First, because the fear of not being able to get it back in properly is too great. LJ uses plastic numbered locks as a measure to prevent cheating. If I withdrew my cock to play with it and couldn’t get it back into the cage, I’d be forced to cut the lock. Then I’d have to devise a lie to explain to LJ how I had to remove the cage due to some fictional emergency to conceal what I had done. I’m not going to lie to her. And, I’m resolved not to cheat. A few moments of pleasure is not worth sacrificing my integrity. Of course, it isn’t necessary to remove the cage or pull out of it to cheat.

Lacking onsite monitoring, nothing is stopping me from grabbing a Hitachi Magic Wand and going to town. I could treat myself to orgasms as often as I felt the need or wanted one. The lock would remain intact, and LJ would be none the wiser. But, again, I’m not tempted to cheat by any means.

No one tricked or persuaded me to try chastity. It was my idea. I sought LJ out to help me explore it. If I cheated, I’d not only be cheating LJ by not living up to our agreement, I’d be denying myself of the experience I want. So, there is no real motivation to cheat. I want to learn what chastity is really like. Actually, the plastic locks aren’t even necessary in my case. Even with the cage padlocked and an emergency key in my possession, I certain I’d never unlock to cheat.

Yes, it is possible to cheat when doing chastity with long-distance enforcement. But, even if LJ and I lived together, she wouldn’t be able to monitor me 24/7. If I wanted to cheat, I could find the opportunity to do it. For those reasons, I don’t consider the ease of cheating a real limitation of long-distance key holding.

Lack of physical contact

The inability to physically pleasure your key holder; whether it be doing domestic chores, giving her massages, or servicing her sexual needs is a real negative to having a long-distance key holder. None of that is available. In a real sense I feel slogging through the attendant sexual frustration of denial would be a lot easier if I was able to at least find some pleasure in giving pleasure to LJ. For that reason alone, I do sometimes wish I had a local partner enforcing my chastity.

I’m trying to substitute for that by thinking of imaginative ways to show LJ my respect, admiration, and appreciation for all she does for me. It has already become very important to me to please her. While doing unexpected nice things for her that I come up with isn’t a perfect substitute, it does feel really good when she notices and lets me know I’ve pleased her with my efforts.

Absence of teasing

LJ never shares her plans for me in advance. So, I can’t say with certainty whether sexual teasing is simply something she has no interest in providing or whether she feels I’m too new at all this to need it as this stage. But for whatever reason, there has been no teasing or sexual play at all thus far. I readily admit that has been a disappointment.

Coming from a background in kink, I’ve always assumed that male chastity was just a sub-genre of D/s orgasm control/denial play. So, I came to chastity fully expecting my key holder would subject me to sexual teasing, maybe even extreme teasing that would leave me a sexually frustrated mess. That was part of what I hoped to explore during this chastity experience. So, it has been a bit disheartening that hasn’t been a part of my experience.

Sure, the denial alone has produced a high level of sexual arousal and frustration. But nothing I’m sure that compares with what I’d feel if subjected to regular sexual teasing. And, it’s perfectly possible to tease someone at a distance. I’ve done it myself online to girls who were into orgasm control when I was active in the kink scene. Something as simple as being told to remove the cage and perform edges would definitely have a huge effect. But, alas, to date LJ hasn’t offered even that.

I’m envious of other guys in chastity I read about whose key holding wife or partner regularly teases them in different ways to make them even hornier and more aware of their sexual denial. So it makes me curious to see whether LJ ever incorporates teasing into this before our final twenty days are up. If not, I’m definitely going to voice my concerns about the lack of teasing with her before agreeing to extend our arrangement. If it turns out teasing simply doesn’t interest her or isn’t part of her philosophy, that might mean we aren’t fundamentally compatible.

Of course, I don’t know how many guys LJ holds the keys for. From some comments she has made, I’d guess there are many. Perhaps even if she was interested in teasing, maybe it could be too time consuming to tease all the guys she has locked. Maybe it is something she reserves only for her long-term boys, or a select few of those. At any rate, it’s been dissatisfying that teasing hasn’t been a part of the experience.

Do you think it selfish of me to want the sexual teasing? Maybe. I’m not sure. But, it seems being sexually teased is an integral part of the chastity fantasy that many guys want realized. When absent, it’s noticeable. In fact, to me in almost feels like being locked and then forgotten. You start to ask yourself why you’re even putting yourself through it.

Strict denial alone isn’t really what I want. I’m not sure I could even deal with that over an extended period of time. I love the uncertainty about when or if I’ll be unlocked and allowed sexual release. But, I need to know that there at least exists a chance it’s going to happen. And, I want the teasing to make the feelings of sexual need even more urgent and profound. That’s what I was looking for when I decided to take this journey.

Certainly, I don’t feel any entitlement to insist LJ provide me with sexual teasing, especially if it simply isn’t something she is interested in offering. I haven’t any right to demand anything from her. Yet I see nothing wrong in desiring it. And, if that isn’t going to be a part of the dynamic with LJ going forward, then that probably means I’ll have to seek out a different key holder I have more compatible interests with.

In conclusion, the lack of physical contact is a limitation in having a long-distance key holder. But, I submit the ease of cheating doesn’t have to be a drawback, and the absence of sexual teasing shouldn’t be. That piece is too easy to incorporate by a key holder willing to provide it. It’s as simple as telling you to unlock and to masturbate until you edge some set number of times, or instructions to look at porn, or read some erotica. It doesn’t even require any dedicated involvement on the part of the key holder, much less the investment of any time beyond a few brief moments to give simple instructions.

Yes, I could look at porn or read erotica on my own. LJ hasn’t prohibited it. But, doing that would seem about the same as self-imposed chastity which is what I already know I don’t want.

Overall, even with the limitations, I’ve had a great experience exploring chastity with a long-distance key holder. If the lack of teasing bit could be resolved, I think it would suit me perfectly. I might not even have an interest in ever looking at another option.

If you consider going the pro-domme route, just make certain you take the time to learn enough about a prospective pro-domme key holder to feel certain she knows what she is doing. In my case, LJ has extensive knowledge and experience with key holding specifically, and male chastity in general. I’ve asked her heaps of questions from all over the show, and she always has the right answers. I was very lucky to connect with someone like her. You likely can find thousands of women on the webs offering long-distance key holding, but I’m confident you won’t find many like LJ. It’s easy to tell pretty quickly that she offers key holding services because she is personally into it, not just to make money off guys desperate to have a hot fantasy made real.

permanent chastity

The unthinkable

By Chaste on Thursday, January 2, 2020

I’ve read everything I can find on the experiences of other guys who live the chastity lifestyle. Being new to it, I suppose I feel it will help me to learn things like how to deal with the denial and sexual frustration, what physical and mental changes I can expect from being kept in chastity, and how others relate to their key holders.

One resource I turn to again and again is the Denying Thumper blog. The reason I like it so much is Thumper is so open and honest and can clearly explain his experiences so anyone can understand. I’ve learned more from him about chastity than any other person.

It’s only been a short time that I’ve been locked and denied in comparison to guys like Thumper, who’ve been locked for many years. I only passed the actual 72-hour mark of being locked for the first time yesterday morning. Now I’m steaming toward my first 96-hours locked and beyond unless LJ tells me to remove the cage at some point.

Overall it’s going on nine days since I’ve been allowed to touch my dick or have an orgasm. Again, not a long time in comparison to a lot of other guys. I get it. Still, it’s a long time for me. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without it since I first learned about masturbation when I was a kid.

Anyway, this all got me to thinking about something this morning. Many of the stories I’ve read from other guys say their key holders make them go for weeks or months locked without release. Except for brief minutes to clean up periodically, their dicks remain locked in a cage. But, eventually, most do get a release.

Many guys even have any idea when their next release will happen, even if the date is weeks or months away. At least they can look forward to it. So far, I haven’t really had any of that with LJ.

Once I started sleeping with the cage on, she has only released me for one night. I had to remove the cage, was allowed to sleep without it one night, but had to put it right back on the next morning. The prohibition about touching my penis for pleasure and masturbating remained in effect. It wasn’t a release, just a short time out of the cage. If I couldn’t at least play with it anyway, I’d rather have remained in the cage. But of course, as it should be, LJ’s decisions don’t rely on what I feel would suit me better.

We haven’t had any discussions about when I might expect to be allowed an orgasm. Frankly, sex hasn’t been a part of my first chastity experience in any form at all so far. Having only just met LJ, I truly have no way to guess how long she expects me to remain in denial. On the one hand, the uncertainty of it all is pretty hot. I admit a part of me finds it arousing as hell. On the other hand, it’s more than a little terrifying.

If I knew how long it would be until I would be allowed to orgasm, at least I’d have a goal. I could spend the intervening time counting the days and hours and minutes, hoping I wouldn’t go crazy before reaching the deadline. Instead, I feel I’m more in a situation where I’m locked indefinitely. Of course, since it is indefinite, there is the hope I might be released and allowed an orgasm at any time. But, there is also the awful prospect that this might go on and on, an orgasm-free future stretching to infinity.

Suppose that, instead of chastity and denial lasting for a few weeks, or a month, or even a little more (hard enough for me, I think), just suppose LJ has in mind for it to last longer. Much, much longer. Suppose she intends it to last for several months. That would be a real test of my obedience. That would be a real test of my mettle.

In such a case, I can imagine myself whining and begging after a while, making heartfelt pleas for mercy, lifting up my anguished cries of frustration, even feeling angry at the unfairness of it all. But, if I have submissive leanings and chastity and denial is something I respond to, then even what might seem to be a draconian regimen now might be bearable with enough training.

But, now, let’s think about the unthinkable. What I’ve been talking about up till now is not unimaginable, even though I’m uncertain I’d volunteer for anything as severe as a period of denial lasting several months. But, suppose instead of being locked with a fixed-term embargo on orgasms, that LJ decrees a life sentence? Suppose she says to me, you are never going to come again? You will get close to it. You will never stop wanting it, but orgasm will always be denied. Without exception. Without time off for good behavior. Without the prospect of release. What if she says to me, this is what I want, and I think, however much you resist, you want and need it too. Ultimately you will thank me after you have stopped hating me.

Is this, do you think, the way that madness lies? Could only a lunatic impose such complete and utter control? And would only a lunatic accept it?

I’ll say this. It would certainly be a game-changer. No, if I’m a good boy, will you unlock me and let me cum. No more counting down the days until a release, dreaming of the mother of all orgasms. Just an endless future with no orgasms stretching out into eternity.

Of course, there might be some pleasure. Perhaps LJ would unlock me from time to time and allow me to masturbate, just as long as she trusted me to stop before it was too late. There would be other pleasures too. The pleasure of suffering for her, feeling every day that deep-down ache in my loins from the continual sexual frustration. There would be the pleasure of knowing I pleased LJ with my unwavering obedience to her decree. That purest pleasure of all, the pleasure of knowing I was doing her will. That I was making this supreme sacrifice for her. The renunciation of that moment of jouissance, the spasm of ecstasy. I’d become like a monk, one of the brothers of submission, dedicating myself to service, denying myself the relief of my desires in perpetuity.

Thinking about all this, I begin to wonder if being under sentence of permanent chastity and orgasm denial would give one a whole new perspective on physical pleasure and submission. You wouldn’t be quite the same person, would you? I suspect it would affect every aspect of your sexuality, which would no longer be goal-oriented (when is my next release? when can I come again? etc. etc.). Instead, it would be about a particular state of mind, almost what the religious call a state of grace. What that would feel like, I’m not quite sure.

Even though the idea of perpetual chastity and permanent embargo of orgasms might intrigue, even sound massively arousing, I’m not sure I’m sold on the idea of it. As much as I love being locked for LJ, as much as I love the idea that my penis is no longer mine, but hers to do with as she sees fit. The prospect of what I’ve contemplated here is just too frightening to think about. Don’t you think it’s unthinkable?

male chastity

Fellowship of the Base Ring

By Chaste on Tuesday, December 31, 2019

As I looked at the cage this morning, especially the circle of hard steel surrounding my balls and shaft, I found myself feeling a bit like Frodo Baggins.

“I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”

Well, I wish it only a little.

I’ve been horny as fuck for the past two days. My balls feel heavy and full. I’m desperate to come. Penis-centric thinking has returned with a vengeance.

Maybe, just maybe, I was attracted to chastity, believing it was about being locked until I was as horny as possible, followed by eventual release and a mind-blowing orgasm. Maybe it was all about having some really hot fantasies turned into reality. Slowly but surely, I’m beginning to realize that kind of mindset is the very antithesis of what male chastity is about. It’s not about us. It’s about our keyholders.

When I woke up this morning, I’d completed my second forty-eight consecutive hours locked. Today begins the second week with LJ. I don’t know what she has planned for me, but last night she made a cryptic comment that leads me to believe I may be experiencing something new today. What I haven’t a clue.

We had a nice long chat last evening before bed, a talk that had little to do with chastity and cock cages. It was more a conversation about normal, everyday things of life. Somehow, it made me feel closer to her like we are truly beginning to bond as two human beings. I like that feeling. I like the feeling of attraction for LJ that is beginning.

Being completely new to chastity, I didn’t really know what this would be like. I’m sure I thought there would be a lot of teasing to go along with the denial. But, at least so far, there hasn’t been any teasing at all.

During the times I’ve been unlocked, I’ve only been prohibited from playing with or even touching my dick beyond what is necessary for washing and showering. There have been no requirements to edge, no instructions to torment me with a vibrator or other toys. There has just been the experience of being locked and denied. LJ always gives me a small assignment to perform each morning, but never anything sexual. The assignments seemed aimed at reminding me I’m locked for LJ, that my penis is now her property, and that it gives her pleasure to have that control.

The thing is, I’m okay with all of it. I’m okay with being taught that I’ve spent a lifetime thinking with my penis, and it’s time to rewire the circuits in the reptilian part of my brain produced over millions of years of evolution. Sure, a part of me wishes LJ would unlock me and allow me to at least enjoy a full-blown erection even if she didn’t permit me to come. But, there is another part growing inside me that doesn’t want to be unlocked and given release.

As good as an orgasm would feel, and I have no doubt it would feel amazing, the satisfaction would be fleeting. A part of me would feel guilty for being selfish instead of focusing on LJ and what gives her pleasure. Perhaps I should instead be grateful that LJ hasn’t been subjecting me to intense teasing, which would only make me hornier than I already am and make me suffer all the more.

On another note regarding the ring, I actually found a vendor I can source a second base ring from for the device I’m currently wearing. It’s a cheap, made in China device that came with only one ring. It’s the 40mm ring I couldn’t get on when I first tried but managed to squeeze into when The Jailhouse device failed.

The 40mm ring has worked, but it’s a little tighter than it needs to be. I can get the tip of a finger between the ring and the skin, barely. I haven’t had any temperature or color issues. I just think a 45mm ring would be more comfortable. So, I ordered one.

After another inspection and thinking about it, I don’t think The Jailhouse failed to keep my balls trapped so much because of the ring size. I think it had more to do with the gap between the ring and cage being too wide. The fact the ring was multi-part and had some play in it didn’t help matters either.
I’m looking forward to getting the 45mm ring and seeing if it feels a bit more comfortable. But, it won’t arrive until mid-January. I’ll have to make do with the 40mm ring a couple more weeks. I end today with another quote from the Fellowship of the Ring.

“Embrace the power of the ring or embrace your own destruction!”

That’s more like it. The attitude I need to continue to cultivate.

enforced male chastity

My first night sleeping in a male chastity device

By Chaste on Friday, December 27, 2019

Finally, I experienced my first night sleeping in a male chastity device. LJ told me to remain locked when I went to bed last night. I had been keen to do it, which led to what seemed a small misunderstanding.

Yesterday afternoon I mentioned how I was really hoping she would let me sleep while locked. I meant only to convey how much I liked being locked for her and that I was feeling confident I was ready for my first night locked. Evidently, she either interpreted what I said as a request or a suggested course of action.

At any rate, I received a terse reply reminding me in no uncertain terms that she made the decisions, and what I wanted was completely irrelevant. Fair enough, I suppose, if she really believed I had overstepped. But, I was honestly only sharing my mental state at the time which is something I thought she expected from me. This goes to show that getting acquainted and comfortable with a new keyholder is just as much a part of this process as getting accustomed to being locked.

I’m not the type who gets hurt feelings easily. But LJ’s curt correction, which I truly believe was simply based on an incorrect interpretation on her part, smarted a bit. It also makes me feel less eager to express feelings as opposed to only the facts about my adjustment to being locked. That is problematic in my view. It makes me feel less willing to be completely open and vulnerable with her which I’d think is how this kind of arrangement should ideally go.

Anyway, it’s still a bit of a sore spot for me this morning. The shocking bit is she has been strict, but very reasonable up until the exchange yesterday afternoon. Guess it will start to feel more like we’re on the same page as we get better acquainted.

Later in the evening, LJ told me I would be sleeping while locked. I was a bit surprised by that given what she had said earlier. I half expected she was going to make me remove the cage, not out of spite, but to drive home the point she was boss. I’m happy she didn’t do that because to be honest, I would have seen that as petty. I have a very firm grasp of the dynamics of power exchanges. I’m not one to attempt topping from the bottom. I feel no entitlement to suggest courses of action to LJ, and I’ve not made a single request of her. I simply do what she says which is how I see the whole enforced chastity thing working. I hope we get this sorted in short order.

Well, off my rant and back to the actual topic, my first overnight locked. Sleeping locked was probably the one thing I felt a bit uneasy about at the beginning. I’d read a lot of experiences shared by other guys, which made me worry dealing with night time erections might be a very unpleasant, and maybe even painful experiences. As it turned out, I worried about it way too much.

I was awakened three times by attempted erections during the night. With the first two occurrences, things subsided quickly and I went back to sleep almost immediately. The last erection was a short time before I intended to get out of bed this morning. Morning wood, I suppose. It didn’t cause what I’d characterize as real discomfort. But, I was very much aware of some significant pressure from the base ring being pulled tighter. So, using a tip I’d read somewhere, I went to the bathroom and urinated which resolved things quickly.

In short, my first overnight while locked went amazingly well. I’ve now experienced my first complete 24-hour locked experience. I slept normally for the most part, and had no trouble finding a comfortable sleeping position. The cage is beginning to feel more like a part of my body rather than an uncomfortable foreign object. And, I am very pleased with this inexpensive, made in China, device I had to switch to when the Jailhouse device didn’t work out. It is amazingly comfortable to wear, and its open style makes cleaning up in the shower while locked a breeze.

The only thing I dislike about the device is the “shower head” effect caused by the end cap with multiple holes. Invariably, my urethral opening is never lined up properly with the center hole. So, when peeing, the urine splashes against the inside of the end cap and pretty much goes everywhere except where intended. I’m now planning a full review of the device once I’ve worn it another week or so.

I have no clue where we will go from here, or how long I’ll be locked before being released again. As LJ brusquely reminded me yesterday afternoon, she makes the decisions about how things will go and will tell me what happens next when she feels I need to know. Yep, cool. Pretty much what I expected when I decided to jump into male chastity.

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