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Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 11: Chastity as a Lifestyle Choice?

By Chaste on Wednesday, October 11, 2023

The experience of chastity begins with experimentation. Often interest in chastity is fueled by fantasy initially. The practice of chastity with the male wearing a chastity device can heighten eroticism and make foreplay more long lasting. Whether someone wears a device for only a few hours or for longer terms, there is no such thing as doing it wrong. However you and your partner choose to do chastity, as long as it feels right for your relationship is doing it right. Chastity means differing things to different people. As long as you and your partner have fun with it and enjoy it, that’s all that matters. It can include a little tease and denial, or some bedroom D/s. But often, when a couple finds that chastity benefits their relationship, one or both may develop an interest in moving beyond chastity play to something more permanent. And we can consider a more permanent style of chastity as a lifestyle choice, today’s topic.

What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your lifestyle?

While it’s fair to say I’m at the beginning of what I hope will become something more permanent with Lucie, I already view chastity as a lifestyle something positive and something I’m willing and eager to explore with her. Within our relationship, I advocate for it, but Lucie hasn’t yet decided if she is ready for us to step up to that level of commitment. It isn’t because she doesn’t enjoy what we’ve experienced. She has assured me of that. But Lucie feels that virtual play, while it can be fun and rewarding over the short-term, has its limitations. Believing that there is only so much we can do virtually before one or both of us grows bored, she doesn’t yet feel convinced a permanent arrangement would work long-term.

I think part of the reason Lucie feels unsure is that she is something of a perfectionist. She feels strongly that every service she provides, not only to me, to all of her clients, must be perfect. As a result, in my humble opinion, Lucie puts far more time and effort into every session than is actually necessary. As an example, when we first met, I signed up for a 5-9 day chastity period as a trial session. I wanted to get to know Lucie and to see whether we developed chemistry before I would agree to something longer. And that short 5-9 day session came with the promise of 5-7 teasing tasks.

By the time the session ended 9 days later, Lucie had actually given me a task to complete every single day, two more than she had promised. She is definitely an under promise, over deliver type. Of course, I loved every minute of it. And after my first experience with her, I definitely wanted more Lucie. Every session after the first only got better and the chemistry I was looking for quickly developed. Lucie continued to give me more than she promised each time, as far as the teasing. Not only that, but every task was always new. I never repeated the same task twice. That’s why I think Lucie believes there is only so much that can be done virtually before it feels stale and no longer fun.

I get that, of course. When someone feels as Lucie does, that she has to give so much effort every time, and continue coming up with new ideas for assignments, the most creative person on the planet is going to run out of new ideas eventually. I know I would, and I think I’m a reasonably imaginative and creative person. For a more permanent arrangement to work, I think Lucie will have to understand and accept she puts too much of herself into every session and it isn’t even necessary.

I’ve told her she does too much many times over the past several months, yet she hasn’t slacked off one bit. Not to say I don’t love doing the tasks for her, but I would stay just as aroused and feel just as frustrated with a lot fewer tasks.

Of course, I always want her to feel free to assign me as many tasks as she wishes because she is the dominant and is in control. I only hope she will understand eventually that I would feel just as satisfied and content with something far less than getting a task assignment every single day. Also, I wouldn’t mind repeating tasks because her tasks are always fun and accomplish her intent. And it would be much easier for Lucie to do things like assigning one task, edging with a vibe against the cage, for example, that I would complete every day for an entire week before she assigned another.

I suggest things like that, but I never wish Lucie to feel as though I’m attempting to top from the bottom. So, I don’t bring my ideas up again and again. She will have to decide how it works for us, but until she accepts that she does way more than she needs to do to keep me happy, I know a permanent relationship wouldn’t last long because she is the one who would eventually feel bored or even suffer burnout.

Yes, I prefer chastity as a lifestyle choice to short-term play. I feel sure that’s what I want and would work best for me. But it isn’t only up to me. Lucie has to want the same thing for it to work. And I have no right to try to coerce her into something she doesn’t want just because I want it. I have felt more hopeful during the last month that we are going to come to an agreement that works for us both because Lucie has added things to the mix that I know she does only for me.

As much as I want something more like chastity as a lifestyle with Lucie, she is about the least predicable woman I’ve ever known. So I have no way of predicting whether she will ever decide to take me on as permanent chastity submissive. But that’s okay. Since our first session, she has generously continued to play with me with no breaks, and we could say, in one sense, it has had a permanent feel all along. I hope she doesn’t get bored or feel burned out. But I can’t control that. Lucie will continue to do as she wishes. And if she grows tired of our arrangement and doesn’t want to continue, then I’ll just appreciate all the experiences she has given me. All I know for sure is until the day comes when she doesn’t want to continue, if it should, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just enjoy it as long as it lasts because Lucie is that good.

For tomorrow’s post, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 12, I’m departing from the script for the first time since the prompt doesn’t really apply to my experiences. So, instead of the original Day 12 topic, I’ll discuss limits during chastity play, which I think is an important subject. I’ll share my thoughts on this prompt:

What are your hard limits? Tell us about any hard limits you have related to chastity play. Activities your partner might enjoy and want to explore with you, but that you’re unwilling to do.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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Day 2: Your Device

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 10: How Long?

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 10, 2023

There were several views about how long a chastised male should remain locked and denied orgasm. Among couples, even in a virtual relationship like mine, keyholders who seriously practice chastity decide. There are several things a keyholder should take into consideration when deciding about how long her male spends locked in his device and denied orgasm. Most experienced keyholders say the best approach is striking a balance between keeping their man completely denied while giving him some hope of gaining a release to maintain his interest in the dynamic. Here on the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 10, I will share my longest period of confinement and denial and about what I see my future in chastity looking like.

What’s the longest your partner has kept you locked and denied? What’s your goal?

Sixty days was the longest uninterrupted length of time a keyholder had kept me locked before I met Lucie. Lucie has long since smashed that record and as of today has kept me locked and denied for 96 days. I have self-locked for much longer periods, but in my experience at least, I found that easier to do than when I’ve had a keyholder. It’s never been more challenging than it has with Lucie because she is a woman who truly loves the art of the tease. If she gets even a hint that my arousal and frustration levels aren’t bouncing off the ceiling, she immediately begins teasing me even more aggressively. I suppose that feeds the flames of her sadistic side. But I’m not complaining. Lucie’s style keeps me engaged to the max and certainly holds my interest.

Regarding a goal, I don’t have one actually, since how long I am caged and denied is not up to me. That is totally up to Lucie. My preference is longer periods locked than shorter, but I readily accept whatever decision Lucie makes. As I’ve shared before, my arrangement with my first keyholder ended because she overestimated my readiness for permanent chastity and I truly wasn’t ready when we she attempted to make the move to permanent. But I feel certain I am ready now. Part of that is because I have more experience and my body has now adjusted to longer periods of denial. But my willingness to accept Lucie imposing permanent chastity on me also has much to do with how much I trust her judgement and how eager I am to please her in every way.

Honestly, I don’t feel ready to give up orgasms completely and forever. I hope that isn’t the path Lucie chooses for me. And I am perfectly fine if she chooses to allow me only ruined orgasms without unlocking me. But I don’t think a guy ever completely gets past wanting to come. Not even when he accepts it won’t ever go back to normal where he could come whenever he wished. Still, that too is up to Lucie. If she wishes to allow me orgasms, then I will get them. And if she doesn’t, then I won’t. It’s as simple as that and I accept it because I much desire Lucie’s control and authority over having orgasms.

Lucie will have kept me locked and denied for 117 days by the time Locktober ends. Will that be my new personal record? It’s hard to say, because you never know with Lucie. She hasn’t yet mentioned NO-vember, but she could at anytime. Who knows? I may arrive at 117 days only to learn I’ll be spending another thirty days locked during a dry, confined November.

Does it raise your spirits that we have now entered double-digit days for Locktober? For me, the first ten days have flown by. I feel almost ashamed at actually having to admit this has been the easiest Locktober for me ever. Partly because Lucie has made it so much fun, but also because she had already kept me locked and denied for weeks before Locktober started. Even after four years of practicing chastity, had Lucie allowed me to come a day or two before Locktober, I would have found it just as difficult the first 3-7 days as any other guy. So, Lucie actually did me a kindness by not allowing me a release. But let’s keep that between us. No use spoiling things for Lucie.

Please return tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 11. Chastity, as a lifestyle choice, is the topic, and I will share my thoughts on this prompt:

What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your lifestyle?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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Day 7: Your Toy Box

Day 8: Look!

Day 9: Listen

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 9: Listen

By Chaste on Monday, October 9, 2023

It’s 31 Days of Chastity Day 9. Today we’re looking at chastity related music. Most people listen to music because they enjoy the way it makes them feel, or perhaps it reminds them of a specific person or place. Actually, I’ve never heard a song or seen a music video directly related to chastity. But I listen to music that sometimes makes me think about chastity.

Post a Chastity related song or music video you enjoy. If it isn’t directly chastity related, then explain what it means to you? Is it part of your Chastity ritual?

Here is a music video that makes me think about chastity, “Brass in Pocket” by the Pretenders.

No, it’s not directly related to chastity, but it seems chastity related to me because of the images the lyrics bring to mind. Here are two examples.

“I gotta have some of your attention, give it to me.”

This first example reminds me of how chastity makes me feel toward my keyholder. I gotta have some of her attention, I crave it. No, I never demand it. But I know I often think up ways to get attention from Lucie. It’s not that I try to manipulate her. Lucie is too smart to allow that. But like the theme of this song, I try to think of ways to get her to notice and interact with me. Fortunately, Lucie doesn’t withhold her attention from me or ignore me. She gives me much more of it than I probably deserve.

The focus of this second example, as I see the song relating to chastity, is the keyholder. Lucie, in my case.

“Gonna use my arms, gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style, gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers, gonna use my, my, my
Imagination.”

This makes me think of all the tools at Lucie’s disposal that she uses so masterfully to tease me and keep me aroused and frustrated while she keeps me locked and denied. While the submission part of it is serious for both of us, Lucie also makes chastity fun for both of us. And that’s why we keep doing it.

No, this song isn’t part of my chastity ritual. Lucie has given me two rituals to perform, one daily and one weekly. The intent for both is to help me focus on Lucie as my keyholder and her control more perfectly. But music isn’t a part of either.

Tomorrow on 31 Days of Chastity Day 10, we leave the more whimsical topics of chastity related images and music behind and turn our attention to this prompt:

What’s the longest you have been locked in? What’s your goal?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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Day 7: Your Toy Box

Day 8: Look!

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 8: Look!

By Chaste on Sunday, October 8, 2023

And here we are at the start of the second week of Locktober 2023, and 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 8.

Post a Chastity image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image or why it represents chastity to you.

The Tickleberry website, where this meme comes from, once had some of the best chastity images I’ve seen. But for some reason, they removed them and don’t have many images at all anymore. So, I had to scour the net to find an image I loved for today’s prompt. Finally, I found one on the Red Chili Male Chastity Devices website. Not surprising that they would have some great chastity images there since Red Chili bills the company’s devices as customized art and they truly are. I quickly found the image I loved most. Here it is.

I don’t condone nicking copyrighted images from websites and don’t make a habit of publishing other’s intellectual property here. But since I am offering an art critique of the image here, I believe the fair use doctrine applies, which allows use of a copyrighted work without the copyright owner’s permission for non-commercial purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, or research. And now my critique.

This is a close-up photograph of a male, mid-torso down, wearing a metal chastity device against an alternating light and dark background. There is a male hand to the viewer’s right and a female’s hand to the viewer’s left with the thumbs touching at the top of the chastity device and the index fingers touching at the bottom, forming a heart shape. The heart shape creates an aperture that draws the eye immediately to the chastity device with the first glance.

When I look at this photograph, my eye is first drawn in to the chastity device at the center, and then outward. While I immediately recognized that the hands of two different people surrounded the chastity cage, it took a moment for me to recognize the hands and fingers formed the heart shape even though this has become a rather common photographic technique that I’ve seen many times. The curved lines formed by the hands and touching fingers create a calming effect. The colors and alternating darkness and light used by the photographer are harmonious. I think the aperture effect and the way the photographer blurred the male torso and sharpened the hands and fingers forming the heart give the two-dimensional photograph a three-dimensional feel.

I think this is a lovely photograph that easily illustrates the male chastity theme. It is an erotic image, though somewhat understated, given the presence of a caged penis with hands and fingers in close proximity. What makes it arousing for me is the presence of the woman’s hand, which suggests her participation in the chastity and we can assume it’s because she wills it. The eroticism in this image for me is that it represents the ultimate form of submission. He is literally gifting his sex life to her and giving her full control of when or if he gets sexual pleasure.

That’s it for today on this eighth day of Locktober 2023. Hope you will return tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Day 9 and the topic “Listen.” Tomorrow’s meme prompt is:

Post a Chastity related song or music video you enjoy. If it isn’t directly chastity related, then explain what it means to you? Is it part of your Chastity ritual?

31 Days of Kink Meme

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Day 2: Your Chasity Device

Day 7: Your Toy Box

31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 7: Your Toy Box

By Chaste on Saturday, October 7, 2023

For those who have made it this far, congratulations! At midnight, you will have completed successfully the first week of Locktober 2023. Time to be honest, guys. Once you’ve worn a chastity device for a week and have adjusted to sleeping well enough while wearing it, you can wear it for any length of time. So, no excuses for quitting now. With the PSA out of the way, let’s turn our attention to 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 7.

What’s your favorite toy or item of equipment (excluding your chastity device) that you use or your keyholder uses during chastity play?

This was the easiest question for me to answer thus far. My favorite toy or item I use during chastity play is my njoy Pure Wand. It is 8 inches of pure polished stainless steel goodness (no pun intended) with a tapered tip of 1.5 inches (38 mm) diameter at one end and 1 inch (25 mm) diameter at the other. The Pure Wand weighs in at a hefty 1.51 pounds (680 g) and the weight is part of what makes it so superior for P-spot stimulation.

I had tried at least a dozen P-spot stimulation toys before getting the Pure Wand. While they all felt pleasurable, I could never successfully milk myself. With the Pure Wand, it happened the very first time I used it. Since Lucie now keeps me locked for longer and longer periods, milking me at least once per month has become an important part of our chastity dynamic to sustain good prostate health. I can now reliably drain my prostate in twenty minutes or less. Not only that, the feel of the Pure Wand inside me against my prostate is pleasurable almost beyond description.

Expelling prostate fluids doesn’t reduce the heightened arousal factor, but it often offers some welcome temporary relief from sexual frustration. While my once modest toy box has exploded since meeting Lucie, and I have many favorite toys she uses to tease me, the njoy Pure Wand is my hands-down favorite.

That concludes today’s meme post. If you are enjoying the series, you won’t want to miss 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 8: Look! tomorrow. Tomorrow’s prompt will be:

Post a Chastity image you find erotic. Briefly describe what arouses you most in the image or why it represents chastity to you.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 6: Chastity Fantasies

By Chaste on Friday, October 6, 2023

Chastity fantasies is the topic of this sixth day of Locktober and 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 6.

Describe your weirdest/most interesting Chastity fantasy.

Why do people have sexual fantasies? Thanks to the Psychology Today website, I have an answer to that question. Here, according to a survey of 4,175 Americans, the top 12 reasons people fantasize about sex, from the most to least common.

To experience sexual arousal (reported by 79.5 percent of participants).
Because you’re curious about different sexual experiences and sensations (reported by 69.8 percent)
To meet unfulfilled sexual needs (reported by 59.7 percent)
To temporarily escape reality (reported by 59.4 percent)
To express or fulfill a socially taboo sexual desire (reported by 58.4 percent)
To plan out a future sexual encounter (reported by 55.7 percent)
To relax or reduce anxiety (reported by 43.6 percent)
Because you’re bored and don’t have anything else to do (reported by 40.0 percent)
To feel more sexually confident (reported by 32.5 percent)
To meet unfulfilled emotional needs (reported by 29.8 percent)
To block out distractions during sex (reported by 19.8 percent)
To compensate for an unattractive or undesirable partner (reported by 11.8 percent)

Many of those reasons could apply to a guy in chastity. Fantasies, often fueled by porn, are what motivates a lot of guys to want to try chastity in the first place. And it’s the exposure to porn and the fantasies it produces that cause many to get into chastity with unrealistic expectations.

Sure, like most people, I have sexual fantasies. And many of them revolve around the experience of chastity. But since I often peruse chastity forums, I have to admit my fantasies are pretty tame compared to those of other men. That’s because I think it is very important to distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality if you expect to have a meaningful experience with chastity. Chastity already has a lot of taboo surrounding it because of porn. It’s easy to get lost in a sea of exaggerated and overblown scenarios about how a keyholder chooses to enforce our chastity. And it truly is up to the keyholder. We should never treat a keyholder as a kink dispenser with some obligation to fulfill all the fantasies that get us off. No keyholder has any responsibility to do that.

I explained all that to say this. What we see online usually depicts men in chastity as weak and worthless, typically with small penis insecurities, often cuckolded, and never allowed PIV sex with their partner. This is one view of chastity, but only one view. None of that stuff appeals to me. For me, chastity is about experiencing the control of a strong, dominant woman. It’s that simple. So, the fantasy I’ll share today isn’t something anyone will probably find weird, and maybe not even terribly interesting. But it is a fantasy that I entertain often and one that I find arousing to think about. I fantasize about Lucie permanently marking me as her owned property.

No, I don’t want her to brand me. I don’t like pain, remember? At least not that kind of pain. What my fantasy centers on is Lucie telling me to get “Owned by” and her name permanently tattooed on my body above my chastity cage. I’m not really into ink that much, but for some reason, this idea appeals to me very strongly. And here is what led to the idea becoming one of my favorite chastity-centered fantasies.

About two months ago, Lucie tasked me with writing “Owned by” and her name on my body above my chastity cage and sending her a photo after I’d done it. She told me she wanted to use the image (without showing my face) on her social media platforms as advertising for her online keyholding service. While I was happy to do it for her, apparently, I lack the hand and eye coordination to do this well. And at the time, I didn’t have the right type of writing implement to use. So, I tried to do it many times. I kept running out of room because the letters were too large, and my writing was pretty illegible anyway. I scrubbed the mistakes off my skin and kept trying until my skin was red and feeling raw. In the end, I took the photo she had described and photoshopped the writing part. Of course, Lucie found that totally unacceptable, telling me she could have done that herself, but she wanted a photo that was real, not fake.

I kept trying, and even went to an office supply store and found a pen designed for drawing temporary tattoos. That worked better, but still my attempt at writing looked pretty messy. Lucie finally accepted doing the task the way she wanted just wasn’t in my skill set. While we were talking about it, I jokingly suggested I could go to a tattoo parlor near my home and have them tattoo what she wanted above my cage. Lucie’s reply was, “Let’s not get carried away. I don’t think we’re ready for that level of commitment.”

Of course, Lucie was right. Still, the more I thought about getting the tattoo, Lucie’s permanent mark above my cage, the more appealing I found the idea. At this point, I would say I’m almost craving having it done. Certainly, if Lucie ever agreed to it, she would decide exactly what she wanted the tattoo to look like. But in my fantasies about it, I envision it as a long stem rose in the center with “Owned by” above the rose and Lucie’s name below. I’ve thought about having Lucie’s permanent mark for so long now that it has truly become a sexual fantasy I find extremely arousing to contemplate. But that’s just it. It is a fantasy. I know that neither of us is ready for that level of commitment. We’re still a few days away from being together for five months. But who knows? If we continue together and reach our first full year together, maybe I’ll ask Lucie about marking me permanently as her property again, only this time, I won’t be joking.

That’s my response to the prompt for the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 6. Please check back tomorrow if you’re interested in learning more about my toy box when I’ll answer this question:

What’s your favorite toy or item of equipment (excluding your chastity device) that you use or your keyholder uses during chastity play?

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4: Partners

By Chaste on Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Here on the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4, the discussion centers on partners.

Did you ask a partner to lock you in chastity, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

I edited Tickleberry’s original question for today to fit my circumstances. They aimed the original more at those whose wife or other partner acts as keyholder. If you’ve followed this blog at all, then you know I have only had professional keyholders, including the one I have now, my long distance Domme Lucie. So, obviously, I asked all of them to lock me and, in return, gave them a financial tribute to enforce my chastity. That’s a fair arrangement, if you ask me, and the arrangement that works best for me since I’m not in a relationship and am not looking to get into one.

Lucie is unique. In the past, I have engaged a pro keyholder whenever I felt the need for a break from self-locking. Except for my very first keyholder and Lucie, those were only one-month commitments, and afterwards I returned to self-locking. That’s what I had in mind when I first applied to Lucie for keyholding services. But my relationship with her has been so amazing I haven’t wanted to end it. The chemistry between us only grows stronger, and I’m not sure I ever want to end it. On 9 October, I will have been with Lucie for five months.

Our relationship has changed a lot since my first time with Lucie. That’s because we have become well-acquainted and she knows me much better now, what things turn me on and make me feel submissive and which ones do little of either. While she is still very strict, which I love, she isn’t as mean to me as she was at the start.

We have a lot of kinks in common, so most things Lucie tasks me to do are things I enjoy as much as she does. I’ve even come to like some things Lucie enjoys I wasn’t particularly crazy about at first, because it has become so important to me to please her. Lucie and I understand each other and respect each other’s boundaries. She was very clear at the beginning our arrangement wasn’t a boyfriend-girlfriend thing and that was great for me because I wasn’t looking for that. Not to mention we live on different continents.

Having had more than a few unpleasant experiences with guys she played with becoming infatuated with her, Lucie kept things strictly professional at the beginning. But now that she has gotten to know me better and we’ve built trust, she treats me more like a friend. Not to say she has relaxed any of the boundaries that exist naturally between a Domme and her sub. And I wouldn’t want her to do that.

Compared to the other professionals I’ve played with, the tributes Lucie asks for are so minimal. Especially since she also puts so much more time and effort into our dynamic than any previous keyholder that I’ve had ever did. In fact, she often extends our play far beyond when it has been due to end. For example, our session (for lack of a better term) before Locktober was supposed to last for one month. Instead, Lucie kept extending it until eleven weeks had passed by the time September ended and Locktober began. Even though I twice offered to tribute her for the extra time, she wouldn’t allow it, saying she enjoyed playing with me and said, “naturally you pay less.” I feel a little conflicted about it, honestly. Yes, I appreciate her generosity, but I know the time and attention Lucie devotes to me is time and attention someone else could pay for. But it’s her decision. I’ve strayed from the topic at hand, so let’s get back to it.

While I haven’t had the experience that many guys have had, having to figure out some way to bring up their desire to a wife or other partner, I did have a conversation with Lucie at the beginning during which I’ll bet I felt just as nervous. Ours took place on a video call and I had to explain why I felt an attraction to chastity, share what other kinks I was interested in and enjoyed, and list my hard limits. Lucie listened intently and asked questions about the things she wanted to know more about.

Not that every guy would feel this way, but I found it far more embarrassing spilling all my kinky secrets face-to-face to a perfect stranger, a drop-dead gorgeous stranger at that, than I would have had discussing it with someone I’d seen naked and had sex with. But Lucie was great about it, although she now uses everything I told her against me when teasing me. But the discussion was important because Lucie needed to know what type of submissive I was.

There are many types of submissive men, ranging from rather mild to rather extreme. While the stereotypical view of submissive men are that they are weak and unmanly, even effeminate, it takes strength and courage to give up control and submit to another person. And Lucie understands that. She also knows not all submissive men want to wear women’s clothes or to become a sissy. Not judging any of that, but I’m not that type of submissive guy. While I desire to put my dominant’s desires and pleasure before mine, I prefer to remain in my natural masculine role. Yes, Lucie sometimes uses that against me too for laughs, but she never tries to emasculate me. Part of it is she knows what works and what doesn’t in leading me where she wants to take me. But I think Lucie prefers masculine men because she finds persuading them to submit to her far more satisfying.

That wraps the discussion for this fourth day of the 31 Days of Chastity Meme on this fourth day of Locktober 2023. Hope you will return tomorrow when I’ll share about my first time locked in chastity in response to these questions:

What was your first time in Chastity like? How long were you locked? What did it feel like and what happened on your release?

31 Days in Chastity Meme

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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 3: Chastity Beginnings

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Welcome to the 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 3, and to the third day of Locktober 2023. Today I will share about the genesis of my interest and involvement in chastity.

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

I was aware of chastity devices for years before buying my first one. While I’m unsure how many years, I recall seeing the CB-2000 chastity device first showing up on sex toy retailer websites, and the company who made it has been in business for almost twenty-five years. Already involved in BDSM back then, I knew about orgasm control and denial, but hadn’t experienced it. So, chastity devices, while I found them curious, just weren’t something I had any great interesting in trying. I had divorced by then and having some of the best sex of my adult life. Trading that for wearing a plastic tube locked on my penis that would prevent me from having sex just wasn’t something that sparked any interest.

Shortly after I discovered chastity devices, I found Thumper’s blog, Denying Thumper, maybe about a year after he started the blog. I believe he started with the CB-2000, but since I’m too lazy to research it and relying on my memory, I could be wrong about that. Anyway, I followed the blog pretty regularly over the years and while I found Thumper’s experiences hugely interesting, it never motivated me to try wearing a chastity device since, well, I was having the best sex of my life back then, remember? And with a lot of different attractive women.

It’s not that I was a hedonist. But after spending more than a decade married to a woman who didn’t enjoy sex much and didn’t much care how much I enjoyed it, I was like a kid in a candy store. Eventually, the novelty of discovering for the first time that women could actually orgasm, some of them multiple times, during PIV sex, wore off. I began to settle down and soon confined my sexual experiences to long-term relationships. I had a series of those over the years. But mostly because I wasn’t looking to get married again, they all fizzled after a few years, and I would be on to the next relationship. I’ve actually always preferred relationships to casual sex because I just have to have feelings of affection for a woman at least on some level to desire having sex with her. I’m more a love than lust kind of guy.

Eventually, I met the woman who I felt certain was “the one.” She suited me in every way and we had a fantastic relationship. Until we didn’t. I was even coming around to the idea of trying marriage again and we had discussed it sometimes. But being quite a few years younger than me, she decided one day that she wasn’t ready to settle down and I experienced the most painful end of a relationship in my life. I had two more relationships with wonderful women after that, but after “the one” I knew I just had nothing left to give to another woman. It was then that my curiosity about chastity resurfaced.

I was still following Thumper’s blog and one day I just thought, why not try chastity and see what it’s all about? So, I ordered my first chastity device. That was four years ago, and by then there were heaps of new, inexpensive off-the-shelf devices available. You could even buy them on Amazon. Having no experience with wearing a device, I knew immediately I needed some direction, so I searched for and found my very first online keyholder. I never considered anything but online because I had no interest in getting into another relationship at that time and didn’t know that I’d ever want another relationship. And I found the perfect online keyholder, the woman I called Lady Jayne when I first started this blog.

Jayne was perfect for me because she was extremely knowledgeable about chastity devices and chastity training. She put me through a thirty-day “bootcamp” and by the end of it I was wearing a device 24/7. Of course, the first device I bought, and that we started with was horrific and she helped me find one that worked. We developed chemistry during that first thirty days and she continued as my keyholder and helped me choose my first Mature Metal custom-fitted device. And that’s how I got hooked on chastity. It has become such an important part of my life I can’t even imagine my life without it now.

Almost everyone discovers at some point a sexual fetish that turns them on. Some people discover their fetishes at a young age, while others do not know they are there until presented with a catalyst, something that makes them realize some specific thing or act arouses them. I suppose in the beginning, chastity devices were simply a fetish for me I wanted to explore. But now that chastity, especially chastity enforced by a dominant woman, means a great deal more to me than the satisfaction of a sexual fetish.

The benefit of hindsight helps me to understand, at least to some extent, other kink experiences that helped drive my interest in chastity. Since the days when I was actively involved in my then local kink community, I have known that I felt a keen attraction to dominant women. Whether I didn’t know it or only suppressed it for years, my first keyholder, and especially Lucie, made me understand and acknowledge the submissive nature I have. I’ve since realized it isn’t something I have control over, though I can suppress it. And now I realize it is a need that I will always want to fulfill with a dominant woman partner.

I have since realized in the past that I have resigned myself to experiencing a sex life that always left me longing for more. The need to submit to a Domme is a part of who I am at my core and not something I can just forget about. So, I think that is what drives my interest in chastity, the F/m dominant/submissive dynamic, more so than any specific fetish or kink I may enjoy and there are many. But interestingly, those kinks I find most interesting and meaningful all support the chastity experience and the inherent tease and denial aspect of it.

That sums how I got into chastity, and what I think most motivated me to explore it. I hope you will tune in again tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 4 when I will respond to this question:

Did you ask a partner to lock you in chastity, or did she/he suggest it to you? Write about that first conversation.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 2: Your Chastity Device

By Chaste on Monday, October 2, 2023

I’ve acquired quite a few chastity devices over the past four years. Some I rarely wear anymore, but I have several favorites I alternate through. But for today’s questions for this 31 Days of Chastity Meme, I will focus on the device I’m wearing for Locktober 2023.

What sort of chastity device or belt do you wear? What are your likes and dislikes about it?

Besides the general feeling of comfort, there are many things I like about my Cobra N. Since I am a fanatic about hygiene, I like the open, cage-style design, which allows me to keep the cage and contents clean during extended wear without having to remove it. Mostly I just use soap and a handheld shower head to keep things tidy. But recently, I bought a plastic squeeze bottle with a pointed tip (sort of like the condiments bottles you see in some restaurants) that I now use. First, I fill the bottle with warm, soapy water and flush the interior of the Cobra through every opening. Then I refill the bottle with plain, warm water and repeat the flushing process a couple more times. I’m uncertain this is actually necessary since the showering seems to good a good job. But I feel better about wearing a plastic cage for long periods without removal and feel more confident I’m keeping things sparkling clean by using the squeeze bottle once each week.

The fit of the Cobra is something else I like about the device. Having a chubby flaccid penis, I ordered the wide version of the Cobra, which gives the contents a little extra room. It is still a snug fit, but doesn’t feel as tight as the regular version. The extra

width also allows my peen to do its natural expansion and contraction thing without getting stuck during the contractions, so the tip of the glans always stays firmly in contact with the urination outlet. That means I can stand and pee in the usual way without making a mess and my bladder empties more fully than when I sit to urinate.

I love the size of the Cobra N, which fits me as perfectly as any of the custom-fitted stainless steel devices I own. It’s absolutely the perfect length and Kink3D offers such a great variety of base ring sizes that I have the perfect size base ring based on my specific measurements. The device is so light that even when my scrotum is soft, allowing my balls to dangle a bit, the base ring stays firmly against my lower abdomen, unlike some of the heavier stainless steel devices I sometimes wear. The thing really couldn’t fit better or feel more comfortable.

Finally, I love the design of the Cobra. It angles downward, which makes for a low profile so that the device doesn’t print itself against the crotch of my pants or shorts. Even when I wear athletic shorts, there is no noticeable bulge. The finish of the material has a silky feel to it, which also adds to the comfort.

While the question also asks about dislikes, literally there is not one thing I dislike about the Cobra device. Kink3D makes the device from high-quality material and excellent craftsmanship. I can’t imagine how the company could improve on the design. But I will say I think the company prices the Cobra a little higher than it needs to be, especially since the price increases with every size.

I would love to try the Cobra Baby and would enjoy having one of the new Fusion Pink models. But even though I can afford to pay Kink3D prices, I just find it hard to justify spending that much on a plastic, non-custom device, more than once. So, unless Kink3D lowers the prices or at least runs an occasional sale, I probably won’t purchase a second or third Cobra model. I understand Kink3D offered discounts on booth sales at this year’s San Francisco Folsom Street Fair, so I can’t imagine why they can’t offer occasional discounts to the rest of the company’s loyal customer base. I feel so strongly about this that I have already ordered another less expensive 3D printed device from a UK competitor instead of buying a second Cobra. Frankly, I don’t enjoy feeling I am being taken advantage of by any company by having to pay more than I should so they can make more profits, no matter how much I might love the company’s products.

Please share with us in the comments about the device you wear and what you like and dislike about it. And tune in again tomorrow for Day 3 of the 31 Days of Chastity Meme, when I will answer:

How did you get into Chastity? Write about any experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks.

31 Days of Chastity Meme

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