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31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 1: What Does Chastity Mean to You?

By Chaste on Sunday, October 1, 2023

Last year, I started a series of posts based on the Tickleberry website’s “30 Days of Chastity” meme, which they based on the popular “30 Days of Kink” meme. For some reason, I never finished answering all thirty questions. So, for Locktober, I am revisiting it with a commitment to finish the list of questions this time. But I plan to change a few questions since I don’t find some of the Tickleberry questions terribly interesting. Also, since Locktober is 31 days long, I’ll add a question to the list for the last day of the month. Now, without further ado, let’s begin with Day 1 of my personalized 31 Days of Chastity Meme.

31 Days of Chastity — Day 1

What does Chastity mean to you? Give us an idea of how it shapes you and your relationships. Are you in Chastity or is your partner?

My perspective on chastity has evolved since I first put on a chastity device four years ago, particularly since meeting Lucie. After having her tap into the submissive part of my nature that I never believed existed, I now regard chastity as the ultimate form of submission. I feel I am gifting Lucie absolute control of my sex life where she decides when or if I get sexual pleasure. That means Lucie gets my full attention. My desire, passion, and energy are all directed towards her. Wearing a cock cage that she controls the keys to enhances all that as my sexual desire builds over time because of the teasing she gives me. A big part of my attraction to chastity is that it is a major turn on for me because of that loss of control.

Yes, it is the effects of orgasm denial that drive my responses to chastity and interactions with Lucie, yet I see the cage itself as a powerful tool she wields and uses to control me from the little things to the big things. She knows while I’m wearing the chastity device, I will do anything to please her in hopes of her unlocking me and allowing me relief.

Those who follow this blog know Lucie is my remote professional keyholder, not my partner. So, unfortunately, it isn’t possible for me to focus entirely on her physical sexual pleasure and desires while ignoring mine the way a guy can who is lucky enough to have his wife or partner enforcing his chastity. Yet our relational dynamic works well for me because I feel I get what I need most from chastity, submission to an authentic dominant woman who I actively serve, sacrifice, and suffer for. It is really the submission piece I find most valuable and why I view chastity as the ultimate form of submission.

I’m fortunate to have someone like Lucie as my Mistress and keyholder. She is a very sexual person who understands male desire and is adept at manipulating it to enforce her will. Also, Lucie enjoys playing the chastity game from her side of the slash, as much I do from my submissive side of it.

The longer Lucie keeps me locked, the more I enjoy it. I actually love the feeling of being in a state of constant, heightened horniness. And chastity gives me no choice but to lean into that and learn to love it. Of course, I still want to orgasm and ejaculate, but honestly, I believe if Lucie allowed me to come, I would miss the feelings of heightened sexual desire, feel empty, and know I would feel less of a desire to submit until enough time passed for the heightened desire and arousal to rebuild. That’s one reason I was secretly happy when Lucie decided I would go into Locktober without a release.

So that’s what chastity means to me on this first day of Locktober 2023? What does chastity mean to you? Feel free to share your thoughts with a comment below.

Tune in tomorrow when I’ll answer this question for Day 2:

What sort of chastity device or belt do you wear? What are your likes and dislikes about it?

Note: If you wish to comment, click the black “Continue Reading” button at the end of the post and the comment section will open.

enforced male chastity

Benefits Women Can Expect From Male Chastity

By Chaste on Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Think Male Chastity Only Benefits the Men Who Want it? Think Again.

There are many readily attainable benefits for women who choose to lock their male partner’s penis in a chastity cage. In the first article aimed at women whose husbands or boyfriends have revealed they desire chastity, I briefly mentioned the benefits women can expect from male chastity. In this post, we look at those benefits more closely.

Common Complaints Women Have About Their Men

One way to look at the readily attainable benefits of agreeing to lock your male partner’s penis in a chastity device is to look at some of the common complaints women have about their men. While researching this article, I looked at many different lists of this type, and here are eight complaints that made every list.

(1) “He never helps around the house.”

(2) “He’s is always playing video games, watching sports, etc., etc.”

(3) “We have the same arguments every day.”

(4) “He just wants sex.”

(5) “A little appreciation would be nice.”

(6) “He has to be taught basic life skills.”

(7) “He’s afraid of my feelings.”

(8) “He doesn’t listen.”

Do any of these sound familiar, ladies? All of them? What if I told you putting your man in chastity could eradicate the behaviors behind all of these complaints? Other women have seen it happen. So could you. But how is that possible?

Men and Sex

Someone once said that for women, sex is like scratching an itch. For men, it is like satisfying hunger or thirst. I think that’s an accurate analogy. The sex drives of women and men are remarkably different. Imagine if we were all the same. If evolution had programmed women to view and want sex the same as it has men, the world would be in utter chaos.

Many women believe that men have a one-track mind when it comes to sex. The truth is, that is a simplistic explanation for how men think about sex. Hundreds of thousands of years have programmed men with a prime directive to reproduce. It was nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species.

While once a useful and necessary trait, the male sex drive is now mostly a nuisance.

A majority of men naturally feel a nearly irresistible urge to ejaculate semen every twenty-four to seventy-hours. When aroused, a man is the most conscious of and attuned to women because of the sexual desire and the felt need to satisfy it. Once the urge is satiated, male desire reaches its lowest level, and he loses interest.

But not for long. Usually, within twenty-four hours, desire builds once again. It’s a continuous cycle. If a female partner is unavailable, most men resort to masturbation to satisfy the sexual need.

Why can’t men show a little self-discipline like women do when it comes to sex? That’s like asking why a heroin addict can’t show a little self-discipline and stop using heroin. I’m not making excuses for men. I’m only telling you the truth.

How Chastity Changes Everything

When a man’s penis is locked inside a chastity device, everything changes. He no longer enjoys the freedom to orgasm at will or even to touch his penis. The person holding the key makes those decisions. The sexual desire doesn’t disappear. It becomes more pronounced. The need becomes more keenly felt. A chaste man can soon feel desperate for sexual release. That’s why male sexual energy, when harnessed for good through the use of a chastity cage, becomes a tool a woman can use to modify her partners’ behavior.

Imagine that, and let it sink in for a moment. You’ve locked your partner’s penis in a cage, and you hold the key. Only you can unlock him. He feels desperate for sexual release. Who do you think becomes his singular focus, the most important person in his world? That’s right. You. Only you have the power to give him what he desperately wants.

The Behavior of a Chaste Man

Men locked in a chastity device behave far differently than men who are not. That’s because orgasm denial produces some profound hormonal changes in the male body. The changes are so dramatic that even while experiencing almost unbearable arousal, it can feel supremely pleasurable.

In this state, a man becomes more attentive to his partner and her needs, more in touch with his own feelings, and eager to please to almost a subservient degree. Those eight common complaints we looked at earlier? The male behaviors behind them simply disappear. The chastened man will literally do almost anything his partner, the keyholder, asks of him. Imagine the possibilities. These are the benefits women can expect from male chastity.

No one has to tell you how disinterested, inattentive, and unromantic your man becomes after having sex or masturbating. Imagine now that instead of enduring this behavior every few days, you only have to deal with it occasionally and as infrequently as you wish.

Just because he desires chastity doesn’t mean you must give up sex, not even PIV sex. You are free to have it as often as you like. Only you forbid him to come and lock him right back up when you’ve finished with him.

You can even keep him locked up and enjoy the attentive quality oral sex you’ve always dreamed of but rarely experienced in the past. He will be happy to serve you orally as often and for as long as you wish as he learns that giving you pleasure becomes his greatest pleasure.

So I Can Keep Him Locked All the Time?

No, unfortunately, you can’t leave a man locked and denied indefinitely. If you never give him a release, his arousal level will eventually fall. He might even become depressed. He must believe that eventually, you will allow him a release.

But you can easily keep him in the state of elevated arousal for weeks at a time. And by judiciously managing his releases through the use of techniques like ruined orgasms, prostate milking, and only allowing him to come while wearing his chastity device (though use of a vibrator), you can shorten those periods of unsatisfactory behavior. That’s because while all of those techniques give him a small measure of relief, they aren’t truly satisfying in the way unrestricted orgasms are.

After a less than fully satisfying release, his arousal will quickly build again to its former elevated level, that sweet spot where you want to keep him.

If Only Life Were Simple

If life were simple, the only effort required of you would be snapping a lock shut and putting away the key. Frankly, it doesn’t work quite that way. Chastity will require some time and effort on your part to keep your partner’s arousal at a high level. It will require you to tease him sexually regularly. But that’s something you should want to do. That’s how you maximize the benefits you will enjoy.

Don’t worry. Even if teasing isn’t something you feel particularly adept at or even something you feel wired to do, it isn’t hard and doesn’t require loads of time. Teasing is the next topic we will visit in this series. And as far as the time commitment, all you must do is shift chores and responsibilities to your partner you have done previously to free up the extra time.

If your husband or boyfriend has recently admitted he desires chastity and asks you to enforce it by becoming his keyholder, I hope you feel less reluctant about giving it a try. After reading this post, you now know the benefits women can expect from male chastity and that it could vastly improve your relationship. By agreeing to lock up your partner’s penis, you will be doing yourself a big favor.

male chasity devices

All I Want For Christmas is the Mature Metal Jail Bird

By Chaste on Saturday, December 12, 2020

As you may have read in a past post, Male Chastity Devices Selected for 2021 Reviews, I will be wear-testing and reviewing four new male chastity devices in 2021, one device each quarter.

I’ll be reviewing the Mature Metal Jail Bird first as my first-quarter pick. I placed my order today since it takes about six weeks for Mature Metal to fabricate and deliver their male chastity devices. Hopefully, the Jail Bird will hit my mailbox around the first week of February 2021.

The Jail Bird is Mature Metal's Most Popular Device

I’ve coveted owning a Jail Bird, Mature Metal’s most popular device, almost since the day I first seriously considered trying chastity. I wanted to order one last year as my first custom-made device, but the key holder I had at the time persuaded me to get the Watchful Mistress instead. I love the Watchful Mistress, but I’ve never stopped wanting a Jail Bird. So, it will be my Christmas gift to me this year.

The Great Thing About a Second Mature Metal Device

Since this will be my second Mature Metal device, I expect the Jail Bird to fit even better since I know a lot more about properly measuring to get the right chastity device fit than I did when I ordered the Watchful Mistress. I should have ordered that one a half-inch shorter, and when I get around to it, I plan to send it back to Mature Metal for the adjustment. Meanwhile, I can’t wait to get my hands on the Jail Bird to take it for a test drive. Look for the review sometime in February.

I want to take a moment to wish all of you who visit Cut To The Chaste a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. Hopefully, the COVID-19 crap will be firmly in our rear-view mirrors, and our lives will return to normal during the upcoming year.

Also, I want to thank you all for supporting this website. It’s truly humbling for me that Cut to the Chaste has received more than 27K unique visitors from countries all over the world during our first year. You’ve all helped make Cut to the Chaste one of the most popular male chastity websites on the internet.

In 2021, I will continue to strive to bring you unique and useful male chastity information that I hope will add value to your own chastity experiences.

chastity device wear

Measuring For A Chastity Device

By Chaste on Friday, December 11, 2020

I see endless chastity forum posts every week about chastity device fitting problems, so I have created this quick start measuring for a chastity device guide.

Poorly Fitted Chastity Device Complaints

The two most common complaints I see about poorly fitting chastity devices concern the base ring. The first is the ring causes wearers discomfort or pain all the time. The other is that when the wearer’s penis attempts to become erect, the base ring behind the balls slides up and “chokes” the testicles causing discomfort or pain. Getting accurate measurements before buying a chastity device will usually help you avoid both issues.

In the past, I’ve always pointed guys to the measuring guide on the Mature Metal website. But recently, I discovered they changed it. I expect they were trying to improve it, but I think the guide is now less clear and less useful. That’s why I have created this measuring guide. It will work for most ball-trap devices.

I’ve aimed the guide at those who plan to order a custom-made device. However, taking proper measurements before buying an off the shelf device is never a waste of time. Many manufacturers are now providing at least some basic measurements you can use to choose a better fitting cage or tube.

The three measurements you need are flaccid penis length, circumference of the soft penis shaft, and the circumference of an imaginary circle running around the base of your penis behind your balls.

How to Measure Penis Length

Always measure when your penis is flaccid, soft, but not “shriveled.” Penises regularly shrink and expand in length while flaccid. That is amply illustrated by the image below that I found on Wikipedia.

As the image shows, there is a wide variance in the length of the same penis photographed at six different times.

The imaged labeled 1 depicts a semi-erect penis. In image 2, the penis is returning to its normal flaccid state. Based on my experiences, image 3 depicts a flaccid penis. That’s what I most often see when I look at my penis inside a chastity cage.

The penis starts in image 4, moving toward a “shriveled” state. The state of the penis in image 3, I believe, is the flaccid length most useful for chastity device measurements.

If you measured your penis length in the state depicted in image 2, you would probably find that most of the time the tip of the penis would not touch the end of the cage or tube.

To get the most accurate measurements for a chastity device, take measurements at different times of day over two or three days. Then use the shortest measurement you obtained.

Some chastity device manufacturers like Mature Metal ask you to measure the underneath side of your penis from your balls to the tip. Others ask you to measure from the top from base to tip. Make sure to follow the appropriate instructions as that is how the manufacturer accounts for the gap between the cage and base ring. If you can’t find on their website which measurement a manufacturer uses, call or email and find out.

Whether you measure from the bottom or top, a ruler is the best device for measuring length. If you measure the underneath side of your penis, take care not to press the end of the ruler into your scrotum. The ruler should only lightly touch the skin.

Always record your measurements. Don’t rely on memory.

After taking several penis length measurements at different times of day over several days, choose the smallest measurement. You should then subtract a small amount.

Mature Metal suggests subtracting 1/4-inch. That’s what I did when I ordered my first Mature Metal cage. As it turned out, the cage is about 1/2-inch too long, and the tip of my penis rarely touches the end.

That wasn’t the fault of Mature Metal. They built what I asked for. And I feel sure I took accurate measurements. So that told me subtracting 1/4-inch is not enough. Since the cage was about 1/2-inch too long, I now subtract 3/4-inch from my smallest length measurement when ordering custom-made cages. I recommend never subtracting less than 1/2-inch.

You can’t really go too short. You can easily compress your soft penis. If you push your flaccid penis toward your body, it easily compresses to half its normal length or less. If you keep pushing, it will “turtle” inside your body and disappear. The real problems with chastity cages occur when they are too long, and most guys buy devices with cages that are too long. That sets them up for attempted erection problems. More on that when we get to measuring for base rings.

Measuring Penis Circumference

The penis circumference measurement is very important for several reasons. Chastity device fabricators use this measurement to calculate the internal diameter of the cage or tube. Custom manufacturers can change the length of the cage or tube, the ring size, and the gap if needed, but they can not change the internal diameter of a cage. Whatever you order as the inside diameter, you can’t alter later.

This measurement is important because you want the cage or tube to “fit like a glove,” with your penis always touching the sides, bottom, and top of the cage or tube. Extra space inside the cage or tube will likely cause you problems during attempted erections. Erections don’t stop until your penis feels compression from the inside of the device.

If you can easily insert your flaccid penis into a cage or tube, then the interior diameter is too big. You will most often have to apply a little lubricant with a properly fitted device and work your penis into the cage or else use the “stocking method” to coax it fully into the tube.

The flaccid penis is extremely squishy. You can compress it to half or less of its normal circumference without any pain. There isn’t much risk that you’re going to strangle your penis by choosing a close-fitting cage or tube. A tip I’ve learned and use is to take your smallest penis circumference measurement and subtract 1/4-inch to get the best fit.

You don’t want the inside diameter so small that it compresses your flaccid penis, but you want a snug fit. Although soft penises are very malleable, what you don’t want is to compress your penis both in length and circumference at the same time. If you constrict the diameter too much while compressing the length any appreciable amount, you can restrict urine flow through the urethra. That’s why micro-chastity device cages only cover the glans of the penis. Those devices already compress the length of the penis to an extreme. By covering only the glans, it prevents compression of the shaft’s circumference at the same time. Urine flow through the uretha is not hampered.

I recommend using a soft tailor’s measuring tape to measure penis circumference. The measurement will be more accurate than trying to eyeball it by placing your penis on top of a ruler. You can pick up a soft tape for a dollar or two from most discount stores.

If you don’t have a tailor’s tape and don’t want to buy one, you can use the string method. Wrap a length of the string (an old shoelace works well) snugly around your penis. Then mark with a felt pen where the end of your string touches the rest of the string. Stretch out your string along a ruler and see where the felt mark is. That’s the circumference.

Base Ring Measurement

The easiest and most accurate method of measuring for a base ring is to spend $25 to buy the plastic sizing ring assortment from Mature Metal. Then you will have actual rings to try on, wear, and experiment with until you find a comfortable fit.

You will find that you can get several different sizes on. The way you can know which one is the right size is by using the fingertip test. With a properly sized base ring, you should be able to easily insert one fingertip between your skin and the inside of the ring. If you can’t, the ring is too small. If you can get two or more fingertips inside, the ring is too large.

If you don’t want to spend the twenty-five bucks, you can go old school and use either the tailor’s measuring tape or string method described in the previous section.

The thing is, the base ring size isn’t usually going to be a problem. You can get that a little off and still be fine. One of the two base ring issues I mentioned earlier—the ring rides up during an attempted erection and digs painfully into the balls—isn’t a base ring problem. It’s a cage length problem. When the cage is too long, it encourages the erection to continue. The tip of the expanding penis pushes against the end of the cage, which causes the cage to pull against the base ring. That’s always uncomfortable.

If the base ring is too small, that can be why a base ring causes constant discomfort. If the ring is too large, you may have problems with a ball popping out of the ring. Also, an oversized ring allows the device to rotate around your scrotum and penis base, which can cause friction chafing. That’s all unnecessary as the base ring measurement is probably the easiest measurement to get right, except for guys who buy the cheaper off the shelf cages where they only give you three ring size options to choose from.

Gap Measurement

The distance between the cage entrance and the base ring is called the gap. Even in the 21st Century, with all the world’s advanced technology, there is no way to measure the gap before ordering a chastity device. It remains a guesstimate subject to trial and error. But chastity device manufacturers do have some advice on the gap.

Mature Metal says ninety-percent of their customers order a 3/8-inch gap and are happy with it. Based on experience, I agree with that. I have a high and tight scrotum with average-sized balls, and 3/8-inch works for me. I once tried a 1/4-inch gap to solve a ball-popping from the base ring problem with one of my devices, but it was too close. The narrower gap caused me worse problems of its own.

If you have a loose, low rider style scrotum, a 1/4-inch gap might be a better fit. Also, guys with high and tight scrotums and larger balls might need to step up to a 1/2-inch gap to gain more comfort.

My advice is to go with the 3/8-inch gap unless there is a good reason not to. If you should find you need something different, it’s an easy fix for your device manufacturer.

Summary

Now for a quick review, and yes, this will be on the test.

Always measure when your penis is truly flaccid, not semi-erect or shriveled.

Take multiple measurements at different times of day over two or three days. Select the smallest measurement taken for length, circumference, and base ring.

From your shortest penis length measurement, subtract at least 1/4-inch, although subtracting 1/2-inch will probably give you a better fit, and in my opinion, subtracting 3/4-inch an even better fit.

From your shortest penis circumference measurement, subtract 1/4-inch.

Best practice is to buy and use a set of sizing rings to determine base ring size. A custom-made chastity device is a big investment, and it’s worth an extra twenty-five bucks to get it right the first time. Getting the wrong size base ring and having to buy another one will usually set you back about $80.

Go with a 3/8-inch gap unless you have a good reason to go smaller or larger.

Disclaimer: All penises are different. I’ve learned what works for me from trial and error and believe you can benefit from my experience. But your mileage may vary.

male chastity and health

Male Chastity With a High and Tight Scrotum

By Chaste on Wednesday, December 9, 2020

As a guy cursed with a “high and tight” scrotum, I know that finding a chastity device with the right fit can be difficult. Guys who have one know what I am talking about here. But there may be some guys who are new to wearing male chastity devices who may not be familiar with the term “high and tight” in the context of scrotums, testicles, and chastity. In this post, I’ll explain the term and how it impacts chastity device sizing choices.

Loose Versus Tight Scrotums

To explain the difference between high and tight and loose scrotums to someone unfamiliar with it, I equate a loose scrotum with scrotums more in the appearance of those you see on a bull. Here is one of those instances where a picture is worth a thousand words, so I provided one. Sure, it’s a

slight exaggeration, but you easily grasp the concept. Guys with the loose variety, like bulls, have scrotums and testicles that hang well below the base of their penis shafts.

Having noticed the scrotums of other men in locker rooms and communal showers when I was in the military, I admit I’ve always envied guys with the low riders. I think the look is just more aesthetically pleasing. And after embracing the wearing of chastity devices, I envy them even more.

A guy with the high and tight variety has a scrotum and testicles that don’t hang much at all. Instead, the tight scrotum keeps the testicles tight against the base of the penis and close to the body.

Below is an image I found on Wikipedia that shows a high and tight scrotum from tight to relaxed. As you see, even when relaxed, the testicles are still high and close to the base of the penis.

Scrotums and Testicles 101

In natural male development, the testicles form in the abdomen in the womb and usually descend into the scrotum by birth. If not, they typically descend within a few months after birth.

The testicles (also called testes) are oval organs about the size of very large olives that lie in the scrotum and are secured at either end by a spermatic cord. Most men have two testes. The testes are responsible for making testosterone, the primary male sex hormone, and for producing sperm.

The scrotum, a loose pouch-like sac of skin hanging below the penis, holds the testicles and many nerves and blood vessels. The scrotum protects your testes, as well as providing a sort of climate control system. For normal sperm development, the testes must be at a temperature slightly cooler than body temperature. Muscles in the scrotum wall allow it to contract (tighten) and relax, moving the testicles closer to the body for warmth and protection or farther away from the body to cool the temperature.

For this reason, the testicles naturally move up and down in response to changes in temperature, erections, and sometimes seemingly for no particular reason at all.

The dartos muscle, found just beneath the skin of the scrotum, is a layer of tissue that gives the scrotum its wrinkly appearance. Contraction and relaxation of the dartos muscle help regulate the temperature of the testicles and works in conjunction with the cremaster muscle to raise or lower the balls. This naturally occurring phenomenon is what can cause some guys with high and tight scrotums significant problems when they wear a ball-trapping chastity device.

Chastity Device Issues For High and Tight Guys

Most off the shelf chastity devices work for men with loose scrotums (although too loose and a wearer may be able to pull out the back end without releasing their testicles). Finding the right fit can be significantly more difficult for those of us cursed with a high and tight scrotum.

When a wearer has a high and tight scrotum, a ball-trapping device exerts almost a constant pull on the scrotum while he is wearing it. While the scrotum may stretch a bit over time from wearing the device, the dartos and cremaster muscles pull the testicles against the base ring and cage a lot of the time. This situation happens in response to cold, during an attempted erection, and so on. It often causes discomfort and even pain for a wearer with a high and tight scrotum.

If you’re a high and tight guy, you might have found it a struggle to wear a ball-trapping chastity device because of feeling the sensation of your testicles getting pinched and wedged between the base ring and cage in strange ways. The sensation can range from noticeable discomfort to feeling like the cage is ripping your balls off your body. You can thank your dartos and cremaster muscles for that.

Troubleshooting for High and Tight Guys

The base ring width and shape is more of a factor for guys with tight scrotums than those with loose scrotums. Wider rings may be quite uncomfortable as they cause more stretching to occur. Here I use the term wider to refer to the depth, anything wider than a common steel base ring.

The distance between the ring and cage (the gap) is another measurement that is more critical for high and tight guys. A little too narrow, and it can lead to the tight, uncomfortable wedging feeling. If the gap is too wide, the scrotal muscles can make you feel like the device is slowly crushing your balls as the muscles pull your testicles deeper into the gap. You must find the sweet spot when it comes to base ring size, shape, and gap. That means you may not be able to wear an off the shelf device but will have to bite the bullet and buy a custom-made chastity device if you plan on extended wear.

Ring Size

You definitely must obtain accurate measurements before selecting a base ring size. Since many chastity device manufacturers like Mature Metal provide useful measuring guides, I won’t regurgitate the information here. You can read the Mature Metal measuring guide here to learn how to take accurate measurements.

As a rule of thumb, once you put on a base ring, you should be able to get a fingertip easily between the inside of the ring and your skin. If you can’t, the ring is too tight and will likely cause you problems. If you can get two or more fingertips inside, then the ring is probably too large. A base ring that is too big causes the device to be less secure and can result in one of your balls popping out of the ring when the scrotal muscles are doing their thing. I’ve had this happen. Sometimes it is painful, but at other times, I didn’t even notice it for a long while after it happened.

Gap

For me, gap size is even more critical than ring size. I’ve learned from experimentation that a 3/8 inch gap is what I need with my high and tight scrotum. The Mature Metal measuring guide says that is about right for most guys except those with really loose scrotums who may need a narrower gap. It seems most off the shelf devices come with a 3/8 inch gap.

The thing is, there is no way to measure for the gap. It is best then to start with a 3/8 inch gap and then adjust if needed. I once tried a 1/4 inch gap with a device I kept having a ball pop out of, and within thirty minutes, I felt excruciating pain. That’s how much of a difference even 1/8 of an inch can make when it comes to the gap.

If you have a tight scrotum and find it painful to wear a chastity device and you’re sure you chose the right base ring size, then you probably need a wider gap. Custom manufacturers can give you whatever size gap you need. So, if a 3/8 inch isn’t working, try a 1/2 inch gap. I wouldn’t add more than 1/8 inch at a time. You don’t want the gap to be too wide either. If it is too wide, you will likely experience having a ball pop out of the ring.

A high and tight scrotum requires a more precise fit, and there is a much greater potential for pain and a much lower margin for error when it comes to ring and gap sizing.

Other Tight Scrotal Issues

I’m not a medical professional, but having researched it a little, I learned that there is a medical condition called adult hyperactive cremaster muscle reflex, which causes retractile testicles.

For men with a hyperactive cremaster muscle, one or both testicles vigorously retract up into the groin to the extent they have to press the testicle back down into the scrotum. The retraction typically occurs during intercourse, exercise, getting in and out of cars, or other physical activity. There is a minor surgical procedure known as a microsurgical subinguinal cremaster muscle release. This surgery releases the muscle to prevent vigorous testicular retraction.

I’m not qualified to give medical advice or diagnose testicular problems. But if you have a high and tight scrotum and one or both of your testicles sometimes retracts into your groin, especially if it’s painful, you should consult with your doctor. I can’t imagine anyone with a hyperactive cremaster muscle could comfortably wear any ball trapping device.

When Ball-Trapping Devices Won't Work

With my high and tight, I have found some ball-trapping chastity devices I simply can’t wear. Fortunately, I have found many that I can. But for a guy who has tried everything, even custom-made devices, and hasn’t been able to wear a device for any appreciable length of time, there is another option.

There are chastity devices that don’t attach with a base ring, but they require a Prince Albert (PA) piercing. Male Chastity Now makes one called the Mouse Trap. It’s a metal tube that slips over the penis and has a hook attachment for a PA ring. The piercing does carry the weight of the tube. But I’ve heard if you size it properly, the tube shouldn’t slip past the glans of the penis, which takes some of the stress off the piercing.

If you’ve got a high and tight scrotum, want to practice male chastity, but haven’t been able to wear a chastity device for more than a few hours due to discomfort, there are some things you can do.

Always look at sizing first. Nine times out of ten, that’s where you’ll find the problem. I strongly suspect more guys are wearing improperly sized chastity devices than guys wearing properly fitted ones.

Off the shelf devices just don’t work for every guy with a high and tight scrotum. Custom devices are an investment, but sometimes that is what it takes to get a chastity device that works for you.

There are options for those with high and tight scrotums who want to practice chastity but can’t wear a ball trapping device. You might consider getting the PA piercing and going with one of the devices that don’t attach to your body with a base ring. There is also the chastity belt option. Fancy steel makes a slim-fit chastity belt that I find very intriguing.

Finally, if you think you have a medical issue, see a urologist. Whatever the issue, if practicing male chastity is something you want, you can probably find a way to overcome any obstacles to the long-term comfortable wearing of a chastity device.

international male chastity day

International Male Chastity Day

By Chaste on Wednesday, December 2, 2020

That’s right gang—International Male Chastity Day is looming on the horizon. It’s coming up in about eleven weeks on February 15. If you have never heard of it, now is your chance to learn all about this auspicious holiday.

How did International Chastity Day Start?

UberKinky, a UK BDSM gear retailer, launched International Male Chastity Day on February 15, 2014, to pay homage to everyone living in chastity or trying it. It has been celebrated on February 15 each year since.

You should know that there is some disagreement within the chaste community about the accuracy of the February 15 date.

Some believe International Male Chasity Day is celebrated on January 14 each year. But that’s a crock. I’ll explain why in a moment.

Rest assured the correct date is indeed February 15, as this 2014 post found on the UberKinky website confirms. They started the holiday nearly eight years ago, so I guess they know the correct date. This post found on the Cara Sutra online sexuality magazine website backs that up.

UberKinky specially chose February 15 as the date because they felt setting the holiday observance on the day after Valentine’s Day, February 14, just makes it all the more “brutally bittersweet.” They thought it might be fun for one partner to enhance the flavor of the holiday by rubbing a little salt into the wound by presenting their male partner with a chastity device as a gift on the most romantic day of the year.

The International Chastity Day-Date Discrepancy

So, how did people get confused and start celebrating International Male Chastity Day on January 14, you ask? Here is what happened.

Some enterprising soul thought up the idea of changing the date to January 14 (one month before Valentine’s Day) so that the holiday could become a month-long chastity event that ran until Valentine’s Day on February 14. Some suspect it was the Holy Trainer chastity device company that tinkered with the date as a marketing ploy. But your intrepid reporter was unable to find any smoking gun to verify the claim.

I admit I’m a purist when it comes to celebrating holidays on the correct date. For instance, I wouldn’t stand still for it if Amazon arbitrarily tried to change Christmas Day to November 25 to gain a marketing advantage.

But I suppose there isn’t anything really wrong with some wayward souls observing January 14 as International Male Chasity Day. No one will haul them before the Great Chastity Inquisition for blasphemy or excommunicate them from the church of chaste over it. But as a proud chaste man and a huge fan of International Male Chastity Day, I, for one, will celebrate the holiday on the correct damn date, thank you very much.

Why Is There A Chastity Day?

Frankly, I’ve always suspected that UberKinky’s story about wanting to pay homage to those who observed chastity by wearing a cage on their penis is a load of bull crap. I strongly suspect it must have been sometime in 2014 when the retailer started stocking and selling chastity devices. Call me cynical, but I believe UberKinky founded the holiday as a little marketing strategy of their own to sell more cock cages.

Nevertheless, there are legions of male chastity fans globally—guys who love to be locked up and keyholders who love to guide them in their journey, perhaps with a generous helping of teasing along the way. So, it’s great to have a day to celebrate that.

Also, having a specific date set aside to celebrate male chastity annually is a great way to raise awareness of chastity’s popularity. It’s an excuse to share chastity advice and resources, read some sensual male chastity erotica, and perhaps connect with other chastity enthusiasts or potential keyholders.

Whether it’s a long-term commitment to chastity, some intense humiliation play, the chance to experience orgasm tease and denial, or merely a way to enhance sex play you crave, International Male Chastity Day is an excuse to celebrate the endless possibilities for gratification that chastity offers.

How to Celebrate International Male Chastity Day

Even if you wait for the proper date, February 15, you can still make a 30-day event out of the holiday if you wish. For example, you might lock up on February 15 and remain locked until St. Patrick’s Day on March 17. There would be a couple of extra days involved, but if you’ve never experienced a full month wearing a cock cage, here is your chance.

Perhaps you only recently learned about chastity and want to try it. But you were gutted when you discovered you had already missed Locktober and No Nut November. If so, making a month-long commitment to staying locked from February 15 until St. Paddy’s Day can be your Mulligan.

Of course, UberKinky founded International Male Chastity Day, not International Male Chastity Month. They never intended the holiday to be a 30-day event. So, you can simply celebrate by locking up for only one day if you wish. No one is going to question your manhood for not hanging tough for the following thirty days or so. The truth is, you’re free to celebrate the holiday in any way you choose, whether you elect to lock up for twenty-four hours, a month, or to infinity and beyond.

The point of the holiday is for people new to the chastity lifestyle to engage with it a little. It doesn’t matter whether you’re looking to experience a higher level of control by having your access to your dick and orgasms controlled by a keyholder. Or whether you only want to see if you have the willpower to keep your hands off your cock for twenty-four hours. Either way, observing the holiday will give you a chance to savor the feel of wearing a chastity device.

Join the Fun

Whether you choose to celebrate International Male Chastity Day this year on January 14 like the heathens do, or on the correct date, February 15, have fun with it. At the very least, after reading this post, if someone tries to convince you the observance of International Male Chastity Day is January 14, you can with confidence call bullshit on it and tell them to stop being a shit sandwich.

If you’ve been considering purchasing a chastity device and giving it a try, International Male Chastity Day is your perfect opportunity. Check out our chastity device reviews, buy a cage and take the plunge. Lock up that cock for International Chastity Day, or better yet, find a keyholder to lock it up for you. Then enjoy the unique erotic thrills that only chastity can provide.

Don’t forget to help spread the word as February 15 gets closer. There are even some specific hashtags for this annual event you can use on social media.

#chastityday #internationalchastityday #internationalmalechastityday

chastity fiction

My First Male Chastity Fiction Story

By Chaste on Saturday, November 28, 2020

The Agreement Follows Expected Male Chastity Fiction Tropes

This month, I wrote my first proper male chastity fiction short story, The Agreement. The story follows the conventional chastity and erotica tropes that many chastity fiction readers expect and enjoy.

I’ve been resistant to writing these kinds of chastity fiction stories in the past. It seems an overused pattern to such a degree that all such stories start to sound alike. Only the names of the characters and the settings differ. That’s why in my Vulvarian Saga series, chastity is a key element of the stories, but it isn’t the overriding focus. But when I came up with what I thought might be a slightly different twist for a chastity story, I decided to give it a go with The Agreement.

The Agreement Synoposis

Here is the story synopsis.

When an unassuming IT systems technician encounters a devastatingly beautiful woman one morning at his regular coffee shop, he finds it unsettling when she shows an interest in him and starts asking intimate questions. His first inclination is to rebuff her when it seems she senses the submissive nature he has tried hard to hide and suppress. But the gorgeous woman persists and invites him for a drink at a popular local nightspot.

At first, he has no intention of keeping the date, but like a moth to a flame, he finds himself reluctantly drawn to the woman’s assertive nature. The next thing he knows, he winds up inside her luxurious waterfront penthouse condo. Things get steamy, but the sex he had expected doesn’t go quite the way he thought it would, and he ends up locked in a chastity cage.

As the guy discovers the intricacies of tease and denial and the challenges and rewards of being the submissive boyfriend of a stunning dominant woman, he finds being kept under lock and key in submission to female authority might be what his nature suits him for best.

Where to Get Your Copy of The Agreement

If you’re a fan of conventional male chastity fiction stories, you might enjoy reading The Agreement. It’s available now at Smashwords and should be available from other digital book retailers in a few days. Because the story contains the usual and expected sexually explicit scenes and graphic language, I chose to distribute it through Smashwords since they are more erotica-friendly than other distributors I use.

I know we all have our favorite digital book retailers, so as the information becomes available, I’ll update The Agreement book page with additional bookseller links.

For now, there is an exclusive deal for readers of Cut to the Chaste at Smashwords. Visitors to this blog can get a copy of The Agreement for only 99¢ from now until December 31, 2020. To get the deal, go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1056370, click the Buy button, and then enter the code XJ89M when completing your checkout at Smashwords.com to receive the discounted price.

male chastity

Five Chastity New Year’s Resolution Ideas And How To Achieve Them

By Chaste on Thursday, November 19, 2020

With Locktober 2020 firmly in the rearview mirror and a new year looming, now is a great time to indulge in a little retrospection and to reevaluate your chastity goals for 2021. Making a chastity New Year’s resolution is a perfect opportunity to make some progress for all those who failed to advance as far in their chastity journey in 2020 as they had hoped.

Now, with less than two months left in the year, it’s a great time to think about what important chastity lifestyle goal you want to reach in 2021. Being the charitable and caring bunch that we are here at Cut to the Chaste, we’ve decided to give you a little help—a few New Year’s chastity resolution ideas along with tips on how to achieve to them since the majority of people often fail to stick to their New Year’s resolutions.

Hopefully, you will find one or more of these suggestions useful if you are looking for effective ways of making your chastity life better and more meaningful in 2021.

1. Resolve to Take the Chastity Plunge

If you’re still at the intrigued with the idea of chastity and finding it hot to think about stage, but you’ve never got untracked and actually tried locking up your cock, resolve now to take the chastity plunge in 2021. Ask yourself what is holding you back.

Maybe you have your eye on an expensive, custom-made chastity device and haven’t been able to come up with the cash needed to pull the trigger. If so, consider going with a less expensive device for the time being. You can always get that ideal device later.

Today there is a mind-boggling array of inexpensive, yet serviceable chastity devices available in almost every material imaginable from online retailers like eBay at prices between $10 and $25. You’re sure to find an inexpensive device to your liking you can use to get started. The chastity device reviews on this site include my experiences with several budget friendly cages I used when I first got started.

Perhaps not having anyone in mind to act as your keyholder is holding back. It’s hard to argue that having a keyholder doesn’t provide the most meaningful chastity experience. But, why not get started with self-locking and then focus on organizing a keyholder?

Personally, I think it is a good idea to find a cage that works for you and then to acclimate to wearing it 24/7 for a week or ten days at a time before thinking about finding a keyholder. It will save you and the keyholder from a lot of aggravation and disappointment. Then, once you find a keyholder, you will already have experience with staying locked for extended periods in a chastity cage that feels comfortable.

2. Resolve to Find a Keyholder in 2021

Maybe you’ve built up an impressive amount of self-locked experience in 2020, but doing chastity on your own has lost some of the luster. You’re ready for a keyholder but you’re not in a relationship at the moment or not in a relationship with someone interested in taking on the responsibility of being your keyholder. What’s a guy to do?

Perhaps it’s time to think outside the box a little. Sure, in a perfect world having a wife or other romantic partner as your keyholder would be the best situation. Unfortunately, for many of us that isn’t an option. But that needn’t keep you from finding a keyholder. You don’t need to get into a relationship first before finding a keyholder.

Think about the friends you already have. Is there someone you already know you might ask to take possession of the key to your chastity cage? All you need is someone you have a close enough friendship with that you would feel comfortable discussing something as personal as your interest in chastity with them. It doesn’t even matter whether the friend is male or female. In a real sense, a keyholder is someone who acts as your chastity accountability partner. So, even if you’re straight, that doesn’t mean one of your close guy friends couldn’t act as your keyholder. All you need is someone willing to hold your key so you won’t unlock whenever you feel tempted.

Here is another idea. You could get a friend to act as your keyholder without even discussing the whole chastity thing with them. You could simply put your key in an envelope and then ask a friend to hold on to the envelope for you until some date in the future. You could explain the envelope has something important inside you dont’t want to lose and you temporaily need someone reponsible to hold onto it for you.

3. Resolve to Use a Professional Keyholder for the First Time

When you don’t have a partner or friend to act as your keyholder, a professional keyholding service can be a great alternative. I’ve had great experiences with several different professionals. And, paying for keyholding services doesn’t have to break the bank.

Availability of professional keyholding services has grown right along with the explosion of interest among men in wearing chastity cages. The services available run the gamut from elite keyholding services with optional add-ons like the services offered by Mistress Sabine St. Jack to basic keyholding available from lifestyle Dommes. I’ve paid as little at $35 per month for basic keyholding. If you want teasing assignments to go along with someone taking possession of your key, expect to pay a little a more. I pay around $50 per month to my go-to keyholding services provider for keyholding and daily teasing assignments that help keep my arousal ramped up.

LEARN MORE ABOUT FINDING PROFESSIONAL KEYHOLDING SERVICES

The sky is the limit when it comes to finding the exact kind of service that works for you. You can choose to pay month to month or for multiple months up to a full year at a time. Generally, the longer the period of chastity you sign up for, the cheaper the monthly cost.

At least for me, having a permanent professional keyholder isn’t a must. I mix self-locking with professional keyholding which saves money yet still gives me a burst of motivation when I need it.

It’s not difficult to find a professional keyholder. A quick web search for “chastity keyholding services” will give you a lot of service offerings to consider. Also, more and more, professional keyholders are advertising on Twitter.

4. Resolve to Finally Have the Conversation

There are a lot of guys out there who are in a relationship. They may have already bought a chastity cage and have been wearing it on the sly. They have wanted to broach the chastity topic with their wife or partner for a while, but haven’t mustered up the courage or figured out exactly how to start the discussion. Make 2021 the year you resolve to have the conversation with your wife or partner.

Not sure how to tell your wife or partner you want her to lock up your cock and keep the key? There is now a wealth of books on that very subject that can help. In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity, you can find suggestions on how to bring up your chastity desires with your wife or partner. There is also a complete section devoted to women that explains why men desire chastity and what’s in it for women who agree to become keyholders for their men. Kindle Unlimited subscribers can even read the digital version free.

But that’s not the only great book on the topic. Male Chastity: How to Introduce Your Partner by Jules Scot is another excellent resource to give your wife or partner that explains male chastity and what being a chastity keyholder entails. It’s also free to read on Amazon for Kindle Unlimited subscribers.

5. Resolve to Purchase Your Dream Chastity Device

If you’ve been involved with chastity for long and know it’s something you want to keep as a part of your life, you probably have that special chastity cage you’re salivating over. That sweet, sexy looking, custom-made device you can’t wait to get your hands on. But it’s pricey and you just can’t justify the expense right now. Why not save for it? Why not put aside a few bucks a week or a month dedicated toward giving yourself a special gift you know you will like for Christmas 2021? Here is a savings trick I’ve been using for years for just such a purpose. It’s called “The 52-Week Savings Challenge.”

The idea is simple: You save just $1 the first week of the year, and then gradually increase your savings by a dollar a week throughout the year. So you save $2 in Week 2, then $3 in Week 3, and so on, until you’re stashing away upwards of $50 a week next December. By the end of the year, when you complete the challenge, you’ll have saved $1,378 plus any accrued interest. That would buy you just about any custom-made chastity device you could dream of. Here is a link to a page where you can see the challenge week by week and the amount you need to save.

I get the whole instant gratification thing, but I’ve learned to discipline myself to save for big ticket items instead of just whipping out the plastic when I see something I want. The 52-week savings challenge hack has served me well in that regard.

Well, there you have it—my suggestions for five chastity New Year’s resolution Ideas and how to achieve them—a list of advice, tips and tricks to help you see your New Year’s chastity resolution through and make some long-term changes in your life.

locktober

After Locktober Ends

By Chaste on Tuesday, October 20, 2020

What happens for you after Locktober ends? The captioned image above is from one of the most memorable, iconic scenes from the 1979 American epic war film directed, produced, and co-written by Francis Ford Coppola, Apocalypse Now. With napalm canisters exploding behind them, Lieutenant Colonel William “Bill” Kilgore delivers in an uncharacteristic, matter-of-fact tone the absurd line to Captain Benjamin L. Willard about how much he loves the gasoline smell of napalm in the morning because it smells like victory. Then Kilgore looks into the distance and says wistfully, “Someday this war is going to end.” That line speaks to the idiosyncrasies of war. Yet, it adds to the uncanny and invulnerable quality of Kilgore’s character while signifying the far-reaching effect war has had on his mentality.

I wonder if there are chaste guys out there thinking to themselves somewhat wistfully, “Someday this Locktober is going to end.” Perhaps this is your first Locktober, or maybe you’re someone with years of experience wearing a cock cage who has participated in Locktober many times. My question to you, if you’re new to male chastity and participating in your first Locktober, is this. What happens for you after Locktober ends, this 2020 edition, in eleven days? Has the experience of having your penis confined in a chastity device had a far-reaching effect on your male mentality? Or, has Locktober been only a fun challenge to discover whether you have what it takes to stick it out for thirty-one days? Are you counting down the days to when you or, hopefully, someone else unlocks you and frees you from the cock cage? Or, will Locktober 2020 become the start of something bigger for you?

Reflecting on After Locktober Ends

It wasn’t Locktober when I had my first experience wearing a cock cage, but I had signed a contract with a dominant woman where I agreed to wear the chastity device for one full month. It was hard, maybe even harder than I’d expected for about the first seven days. But after the first week, it got easier.

Frankly, I’m not sure I would have lasted the entire month had I only self-locked. But very quickly, it became essential to me not to disappoint the woman who locked me. While I was determined not to give up, I admit about midway through; I was counting down the days to the end. I was eager to experience some relief from all the pent-up sexual energy. But, the experience of having my penis confined in a chastity device that first time did have a far-reaching effect on my male mentality.

It was almost surreal how wearing a chastity device started to affect me both mentally and emotionally, and how quickly it happened. It was literally like a night and day difference. Cock cages confine the growth of the penis during an erection, and that can become quite uncomfortable. As a result, the brain starts to tell the penis to become flaccid again. Eventually, this constant correction trains your mind to make your penis hard only when your keyholder authorizes it or once you have reached some goal you set in advance if you self-lock. When you reach that milestone, it’s easier to forget about your cock, on which too many of us guys have had the habit of lavishing too much attention, which frees you to channel the sexual energy into more productive pursuits.

New Goals After Locktober Ends

Perhaps the most recognized aspect of wearing a chastity device is it prevents masturbation and ejaculation, which can be a real benefit for a guy’s relationship since excessive masturbation can be a hidden relationship killer. Preservation of sexual energy can be an enormous part of a healthy relationship. And as mentioned, you can find more productive uses for it. As one example, as a writer, I find that chastity makes me far more productive than when I’m not wearing a chastity device.

If Locktober was just a one-off fun challenge to try, maybe you plan on tossing the cock cage in your sock drawer on the first of November with no plans ever to wear it again. But, as was the case with me, I suspect many first-time Locktober participants will discover they miss all the benefits of the chaste lifestyle when they unlock. They will miss the heft of the device, the feelings of contentment and security that can develop when you’ve worn a cock cage over an extended period. After Locktober ends might be a time to set a new goal for wearing your chastity device for sixty days, ninety days, or even longer.

After Locktober Ends is a Great Time to Try a New Device

Guys locking up for their first Locktober often choose to go with an inexpensive cage, usually one of the Chinese devices available from Amazon, eBay, or another online retailer. There is nothing wrong with that. That was my own approach. Why invest a lot of money in an expensive cock cage until you’ve had a chance to learn whether chastity is something you plan to continue long-term? But after thirty-one days, if the experience was meaningful enough that you feel you want to continue, then it can be an excellent time to start looking at a new device that will be more comfortable for long-term wear.

After growing in popularity and gaining mainstream visibility, there has been a sea change in cock cages. Today’s designs are less brutal, less intrusive, and far more discreet than the cages of yesteryear. After tons of experimentation, I finally found the Amicus from Male Chastity Now, which I believe will be my permanent cage. That is unless I find the Male Chastity Now’s Contender model even more to my liking when I try it on for size soon. But for now, I give Amicus credit for propelling me to my current record of over 148 days locked. It’s simply that lightweight, that comfortable, and that discreet.

Male chastity continues to grow in popularity. That is readily evident from the number of visitors to this site, and others like it and how well-received Hitchhiker’s Guide to Male Chastity has been. I expect the male chastity lifestyle will continue to grow more mainstream as both guys and women learn more about its transformative power.

Someday, and soon, this Locktober is going to end. The question is, what happens for you when it does?

chastity

Chastity And Submission

By Chaste on Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Chastity and submission. Do the two go hand in hand? If you’re a guy who wants to wear a chastity device, does that mean you’re submissive? Let’s talk about that.

So, maybe you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or maybe the woman in your life wants to lock you up. Perhaps it is her idea. But the submissive part of it doesn’t really turn you on all that much. Also, small penis humiliation, sissification, and cuckolding don’t appeal to you at all. Maybe you think chastity only works for submissive guys.

Not So Fast My Friend

A quick chastity web search shows that there is a heck of a lot of people who assume that chastity and male submission go together like peanut butter and jelly. Actually, that kind of thinking is an example of what they call in logic a cum hoc fallacy—jumping to a conclusion about causation based on a correlation between two things, or types of things, which sometimes occur simultaneously.

Some people can’t seem to separate male chastity and male submission in their minds, so they insist no one else can either. Sure, there are plenty of submissive men for whom chastity is yet another path to deeper submission. But the truth is, chastity and male submission don’t necessarily go together like hamburgers and fries.

One Of The Top Male Fantasies

On almost every top male sexual fantasies list, one of the top five most popular sexual fantasies among all kinds of men is being sexually controlled by a powerful, dominant woman.

Guys fantasize about feeling sexually dominated when they’re tired of doing the dominating themselves, or when they have mixed feelings about what they’re doing in that domination where they’re on top.

Add to this that men sometimes get tired of always having to be in control in the bedroom. Traditional gender roles impressed on all of us by societal norms suggest that men are “supposed” to be the initiators of sex while women are the gatekeepers. Chastity presents a significant reversal of those roles. It’s relatively easy to see why many guys, all sorts of guys, find the idea relinquishing control tantalizing. It isn’t only submissive men who have these fantasies.

This is why I think we must avoid making hard-and-fast distinctions between dominance and submission. Guys seem capable of shifting from one role to the other. And even though many may prefer a single sexual stance, still each role seems to offer its own gratifications.

Wearing A Chastity Device Is An Inherently Submissive Act

It can’t be argued that wearing a chastity device isn’t an inherently submissive act. All we have to do to understand that is to look at the definition of sexual submission. Sexual submission is when one individual (the submissive) turns overall sexual control to another (the dominant). The chaste guy (submissive) gives his partner (the dominant) complete control over his access to sexual pleasure, not to mention his penis. There is no logical way to claim that isn’t submission. But submission, when it comes to chastity, can be motivated by two entirely different things.

Role Versus Nature

Submissive men are submissive by nature. They crave to submit because that is what feels right. It’s a need they keenly feel. For them, chastity does deepen that natural disposition. However, many guys want to wear a chastity device because of their own desires, not because a powerful, dominant partner dictates it.

For these men, submission is not their character or personality. They only assume a submissive role while in chastity. After a significant period locked in chastity, they may behave much like their submissive male counterparts. But once they take the device off, they revert to their usual disposition.

Submissive Men Are Misunderstood

Lots of men, otherwise attracted to the chastity lifestyle, are reluctant to be viewed as being submissive. That’s because popular culture assumes submission to be negative, associating it with meekness, weakness, and passivity. Sometimes submissive men are openly mocked by other men (and some women) who don’t regard them as “real men.”

Submissive guys sometimes get treated as intrinsically weak and effeminate. That’s because those who aren’t submissive feel they’re subverting heteronormative gender dynamics in the worst possible way. It’s not only that they’re failing to perform the role of an assertive, masculine male, but they’re also not even trying to perform it. So, it’s easy to see why men who aren’t submissive might be averse to being perceived as submissive.

The truth is, however, submissive guys are not weak, necessarily meek, and not all of them are effeminate. They aren’t violating any “bro code.” They are simply guys who prefer submission to dominance by nature. Here popular culture gets it all wrong.

Signs You May Be A Submissive

For those still worried the desire to wear a chastity device may mean you’re a submissive, and you don’t want it to be true, I have a little test that might help you.

You feel both excited and at peace when the opportunity to submit to your partner arises because it feels natural to you.

Taking control during sex and initiating things feels odd.

You are always in control in your day to day life, whether at work or home, but when it comes to sex, you just want to enjoy yourself and not have to make decisions. You basically want to be a passive sexual partner. Not boring but passive.

You get turned on when dominated or commanded during sexual play.

The idea of pleasing someone turns you on more than the idea of getting pleased.

The idea of disappointing someone greatly upsets you.

If you agree with all those statements, if that’s how you feel, despite your preference, you may be a submissive. If so, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with it.

The Bottom Line

The majority of us are either submissive or dominant by nature. It’s simply ingrained into our personalities and behaviors. Our bodies, our brains, and our sexuality respond to it.

Some people can take on either role just as naturally. We classify these individuals as switches, meaning they are capable of switching roles with ease. Regardless, wearing a chastity device is not going to change your nature. While you may submit to your partner while wearing a device, that isn’t going to transform you into a submissive if you’re not submissive.

I hope reading this post was beneficial to you. Understanding yourself and coming to terms with your sexual style and nature can make you feel more at ease. Sexuality is an essential aspect of a person’s overall well-being, yet many times it’s overlooked when people self reflect. But it’s an important piece of the puzzle we call “self,” and until we understand and come to grips with this piece, we will never feel as complete or content.

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